


Dreams of a Fire Starter

by DiamantNoir



Series: Powers That Be [7]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Bad at Communication, Best Friends, Best Friends to Lovers, Breaking and Entering, Coming of Age, Dream Jumping, Fire Powers, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, Happy Ending, I want to shake them, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mentions of Blood, Misunderstandings, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Superpowers, Swearing, They're both stubborn, Trespassing, Underage Drinking, but more angst, children to adults, internal struggles, male and female kissing, things WILL be set on fire, this whole thing is going to be a roller coaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 190,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiamantNoir/pseuds/DiamantNoir
Summary: Mark's never really known what love was until it fell out of a tree and broke his nose.Ever since he met Donghyuck, there's been no rest for the wicked and Mark's always been perfectly fine with that. That's what he gets for picking a troublemaker for a best friend. Except, he never thought he'd fall in love with him. Now, he's struggling with the proper way to handle the situation without getting burned in the process.Donghyuck's always had way too much going on inside his head than he lets on. He's fully prepared to sort out his own problems, even if it means keeping the people he loves at arm's length. All he knows is that he'll do everything in his power to make sure no one is burned for his mistakes.Too bad that's a lot harder than it sounds.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Kun Hang | Hendery, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: Powers That Be [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730035
Comments: 201
Kudos: 370





	1. Let the Flames Begin

**Author's Note:**

> Gosh...We've made it. This is it. The final part in the series. I can't believe I've made it this far!  
> If you haven't read the other parts, I suggest you do (or at least Nomin and Jaeyong) because this story does touch on all of them and we do get to see some scenes from all the other parts through Mark and Donghyuck's eyes. I tried to make it not too confusing, but it's just better if you read the other parts first, I think.  
> I just want to thank everyone who's been with me since the beginning of this and who's joined me on the way. None of these would have been possible if it weren't for your support! So thank you, thank you, thank you! <3  
> As you can see, this is going to be four chapters, told from both Mark and Donghyuck's POV. And, yes, this will take a while to update because they're all stupidly long and I've done this to myself, so I can't really complain, but I want to!  
> This first chapter takes you from their first meeting (from when they're 11 and 12) to the end of the Nomin fic (16 and 17). There will be a lot of time jumps, but I hope it won't be too difficult to follow!  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Twelve-year-old Mark is walking to the bus stop when something falls out of the sky and lands directly on top of him.

Well, okay, not the sky.

It’s more like from a tree.

But it does slam him to the ground with full force. On the way down, something whacks against his nose. Hard enough that he hears a crack before he feels it. There’s a sharp pain and the taste of copper on his tongue. Mark groans. Squinting up, he spots a boy right on top of him, which explains the weight on his chest that makes him somewhat breathless.

“Oh, my god,” says the boy as he scrambles off of Mark. “I’m so sorry. You’re bleeding really badly. Oh, no. Please, tell me that doesn’t mean I’ve broken something.”

Sitting up, despite the white spots that dance in his vision that tell him to lay back down, Mark says, “It’s okay.”

He’s not sure why he says it. It might be because the boy kneeling before him looks absolutely terrified. The first thing Mark notices is how small the boy is. He can’t be any older than Mark, probably younger. There’s dirt on his button nose and some leaves twisted in his curly black hair. Mark’s always been pale, but he’s never felt more like a ghost in his life because this boy is practically dipped in gold. Everything about him is tan and warm, even as he blinks at Mark with wide, panicked eyes.

He’s kind of pretty, Mark thinks.

The boy chucks him under the chin to tilt his head toward the sky. “Head up,” he orders. Then, he taps the top of Mark’s head to make him look at the ground. “Wait, no, head down.”

“It’s okay,” Mark repeats. He touches his nose, fingers instantly becoming wet from his own blood. It makes him slightly dizzy. He winces when pain shoots through his face. “Ow. Oh, okay. Maybe not totally okay.”

“Is it broken?”

Mark doesn’t know much about broken bones, but he’s pretty sure his face isn’t supposed to be this painful. Still, he manages a half-shrug and says, “I don’t know.”

The boy groans, the tone slipping up to a higher pitch Mark’s never thought possible. “I’m in so much trouble.”

“I think,” Mark says, cupping a hand under his chin to keep his shirt clean—well, less messy. It’s already a red disaster. “I think I might need a tissue.”

“No, really?” the boy asks with a raise of his brows. He scrambles to his feet. “Come with me.”

“What?”

The boy holds out his hands. Mark eyes the slender fingers. “I live around the corner. If we hurry, we can get you cleaned up and on your way before my aunt and uncle come home. I really don’t want them to find out I broke a kid’s nose.”

“My mom always told me not to go with strangers,” Mark says, even though he takes the boy’s hands—despite his own being very bloody—and stands up.

“Well, it’s either come with me or bleed out on the sidewalk,” the boy replies. “Your choice.”

And that’s how Mark finds himself standing at the end of the boy’s laneway, in front of his very standard suburban home, as the boy rushes to ring the doorbell. Mark’s not sure why he’s doing that when he lives in that house, but Mark doesn’t ask. He’s too preoccupied with keeping his blood from getting everywhere. He’s failing.

When the door opens, another boy appears. He’s older, probably around fourteen or fifteen with fluffy brown hair and a face that looks like he could be related to the boy that fell out of the tree. Mark should have asked for his name. He really wants to know his name.

The older boy’s eyes flick up and spots Mark, face draining of color. Rushing down the lane, he bends down to say, “Hi, I’m Jungwoo. Do you mind?” He gestures towards Mark’s face, and when he nods, Jungwoo takes his face in his hands and tilts it from side to side. “We should get you to the hospital. That looks like a solid break. Just give me a second.”

“Take your time,” Mark says. “I’ll just continue to bleed in the meantime.”

Jungwoo gives Mark a faint smile and runs back into the house. The boy joins Mark at the end of the lane, eyebrows turned up as he wrinkles his nose. Mark is well aware that he looks a mess, but he also thinks that the bleeding is slowing down. Either that or he’s being insanely optimistic.

“Who’s that?” Mark asks, pointing toward the door Jungwoo just disappeared through.

“Jungwoo. My cousin. He’s cool,” he says with a shrug.

“You live with your aunt and uncle?”

The boy’s eyes flitter to the concrete. “Yeah. Moved in last year, near the end of July.”

Mark wants to ask about his parents. Except, there’s something about the way the boy refuses to look him in the eye, the way his tone drops as if he’s trying to answer without actually answering, that stops Mark completely.

Before he can say anything else, Jungwoo is locking the front door and hurrying back to them. He puts a hand on the boy’s shoulder, as if reassuring him, and herds them toward the bus stop. The look of the bus driver might have been funny if Mark didn’t feel ashamed and scared of bleeding on the seats. Jungwoo, luckily, had brought him a dish towel to help clean himself up a bit.

When they reach the hospital, Jungwoo passes his phone over to Mark so he can call his mom, and then goes to sign them in. Like he expects, his mom freaks out about him being at the hospital, asking why he’s there and who he’s with. Then, she hangs up with the promise to be there soon.

“She sounded worried,” the boy comments, kicking his feet out while they hang out in the waiting room.

Mark nods. “Kind of expected that.”

The boy doesn’t reply and Mark doesn’t try to continue the conversation, unsure of what else to say.

They aren’t waiting very long before a nurse takes Mark back with Jungwoo and the boy trailing behind so they can patch up his nose. It’s a lot of painful presses and a lot of cleaning, and Mark’s a little sad it’ll take six weeks to heal because school starts in a week. He’s going to look ridiculous. It definitely doesn’t take him that long to heal when he hurts himself in a dream. Those wounds always seal up within days, as if they never happened.

The boy leans against the bed, face cupped in his hands, as he watches the nurse finish taping the gauze on. “You look silly,” he says.

Mark tries to frown, but that hurts. “I wouldn’t if you hadn’t broken my nose.”

“I apologized.”

“What were you doing in that tree, anyway?” he asks. When he goes to touch the gauze, the nurse politely tells him not to and he lowers his hand.

Shrugging, the boy says, “Wanted to climb it. I like climbing things.”

“There’s a playground in that neighborhood, you know? It’s got monkey bars and everything.”

“Not as fun.”

“Mark?” Jungwoo calls from the doorway. “Your mom is here.”

She brushes past Jungwoo with barely a glance and hurries to Mark’s side. Hands fluttering around his face, she checks him over with the words, “Oh, my god. Are you okay? What happened?”

“I fell on him,” the boy says, voice timid suddenly. Jungwoo puts his hands on the boy’s shoulders from behind and gives a sheepish smile. “It was an accident.”

There’s a moment where Mark thinks the boy is waiting to be screamed at. His fingers grip the edge of the bed sheets, knuckles white, with his eyes glued to the cream hospital flooring. Whatever color that made his skin glow before seems to have dimmed and Mark wonders if this boy is used to people yelling at him with the way his body folds in on itself, waiting.

Fortunately, Mark’s mom isn’t a yeller. Not unless she’s screaming about a spider or panicking over something stupid Mark’s done. Generally, she takes things from a calmer approach. Or a humorous one. The corners of her lips twitch and she rolls her eyes at Mark. 

“Goodness, only you,” she laughs, ruffling Mark’s hair. “Only you would get your nose broken that way.”

The boy’s eyes snap up, blown wide. They’re so round, Mark notices. Glancing to Jungwoo, the boy opens his mouth and Jungwoo cuts him off from saying anything with a squeeze to the shoulder and a kind smile. Mark’s mom thanks Jungwoo for bringing Mark to the hospital and taking care of him. Jungwoo blushes through the whole thing, waving his hands as if he’s done nothing helpful at all.

Silent by the bed, the boy watches Mark’s mom with interest. Mark wants to know who he is. He still doesn’t have a name and a name would be nice. Not that he thinks it’s important. He’ll probably never see the boy again since he never has before. He probably goes to the school across town because Mark thinks he’d recognize a face like that. Still, he can’t help but think that this boy is just a bit different from all the people he surrounds himself with.

“What are you staring at?” the boy asks.

Mark stutters, cheeks feeling warm. The boy isn’t looking at him at all, still watching Jungwoo and Mark’s mom chat. “I never got your name,” he manages to squeeze out.

The boy snaps his attention to Mark. “Oh.”

“Come on, Minhyung,” his mother says from the door. “Time to go home.”

Hurriedly, he scrambles off the bed and makes his way toward his mom.

On his way, the boy calls, “Wait!”

Mark turns.

“Donghyuck,” the boy says. “I’m Donghyuck.”

A smile stretches across his face and he doesn’t care that it hurts. “Nice to meet you, Donghyuck.”

And with that, his mom leads him out of the room, away from Jungwoo, away from Donghyuck. The golden boy with a penchant for climbing. And maybe a little trouble.

*

Much to his surprise, it turns out Donghyuck does go to the school across town. Well, he _did_.

Walking into school on the first day, Mark is hit with whispers of a transfer. It’s not anything new. People switch schools a lot, but this student comes with stories, ever changing. The one thing Mark can grasp is that they were part of a fire on the other side of town. Whether the kid was simply in it, or caused it—through normal means or through an ability—no one really knows. Mark can’t say it doesn’t pique his curiosity.

Despite how horrible the story of the Westside Fire ended, he’s secretly hoping the new transfer has a power. He doesn’t know many power users who get their abilities before the age of sixteen. His friend, Taeyong, is the only person he knows. Plus, himself. He got the ability to dream jump at the age of ten. So, Mark’s kind of excited to see who this new transfer is and what they’re like.

Almost immediately upon finding his friends, they make fun of the bandage on his nose. He tries not to let it bother him and, instead, tries to focus on finding the transfer student. It isn’t until one of his friends, points out a very small, golden skinned boy by a set of lockers that everything in Mark’s brain clicks.

He knows that boy, the one currently so enraptured by his timetable that he doesn’t even realize Mark’s coming up behind him. His friends call out to him, but Mark ignores them and taps the boy on the shoulder. Donghyuck nearly jumps out of his skin, swinging around and almost dropping the books and schedule in his hands.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Donghyuck accuses. Except, there’s no fight in his words. His eyes skitter about the hallway.

“Sorry,” Mark says. “Hi.”

Donghyuck studies him, eyes scanning from the tips of his sneakers to the top of his head. “Hi?”

Mark’s heart drops. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

“No, I do,” Donghyuck says, turning to close his locker. “Minhyung, right?”

“Mark,” he corrects. “Everyone calls me Mark.”

“Mark.”

He’s not sure why it makes his skin break out into goosebumps, the way Donghyuck mutters his name as if simply trying it out on his tongue, but it does. Mark shakes it away.

“You’re a year younger than me,” he comments, spotting the class number in the top corner of Donghyuck’s timetable. It’s more to himself than anything.

Donghyuck doesn’t say much, simply folds up his schedule and slips it into his pocket. Shuffling his books in his arms, he finally says, “You still look silly.”

Subconsciously, Mark reaches up to his nose. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Too bad he still has to wear the stupid thing for another five weeks. “And whose fault is that?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Donghyuck says, eyes alight, “blame it all on me.”

For that split second, Mark catches a glimpse of the mischief that lives in Donghyuck. As quick as it comes, however, it’s gone. Donghyuck’s face falls as he spots a group of kids walking by, whispering and watching him. He ducks his head, dark hair falling over his face.

“I should go,” he mumbles. “Bye.”

“Wh—Wait,” says Mark, but Donghyuck’s scurrying off into the crowd without another word.

Sighing, Mark goes back to his group of friends, waving them off when they ask him why he went over, if he got any information. He doesn’t care about any of that. Maybe he doesn’t entirely know what it’s like to be a new kid, to start afresh with no friends and no idea where to go, but he does know that all the whispers and rumors would make it ten times harder. So, he spends the remainder of his morning trying to think up ways to talk to Donghyuck again, and, hopefully, not have him run off again.

*

“I heard he’s the kid that survived the fire on the Westside. You know, the really bad one that took ages to put out?”

“I heard he started it.”

“His parents never made it, right? Do you think he did it on purpose?”

Mark tries to drown out his friends. All they’ve cared about since arriving at school is what Donghyuck’s true story is. His name is passed from person to person as if he’s nothing but a word, not a human being. It’s hard to try and stay unbiased, Mark thinks. He’s heard so many things in the last few hours that he’s not entirely sure if he believes any of them. Kids like to talk, and they love to exaggerate. Still, there’s always two facts that remain the same: there was a fire and Donghyuck’s parents didn’t make it out.

He casts a quick glance over his shoulder. The cafeteria is a normally busy place. People are squeezing onto the benches to eat and chat and gossip. Mark and his friends have been sitting at the same table since they started middle school. They’ve even etched their names underneath it for fun. It’s a normal thing to have a usual spot, except when you’re new.

Sitting in the back corner, at one of the only tables in the room that’s not surrounded by students, is Donghyuck. His eyes are downturned, his chopsticks poking at his food. From what Mark’s seen, Donghyuck hasn’t touched much of it. Or any of it.

As if sensing eyes on him, Donghyuck glances up. Mark’s breath hitches as dark eyes land immediately on him. He spins around, ears warm. His mom’s always told him he needs to keep a handle on his staring problem. Sometimes, though, he just gets so lost in thought that he forgets.

“He’s kind of weird,” one of his friends says. “Doesn’t talk a lot. He spoke to you, though, Mark. What he say?”

Shocked, Mark looks up from his food. “Sorry, what?”

“When you spoke to the new kid this morning,” he elaborates, “did he say anything?”

“Oh,” he shifts in his chair, “no. Not really.”

A girl at the end of the table leans in. “Someone in class told me he’s a pyrokinetic. If that’s true, should he really be here?”

“Isn’t he, like, ten?”

“Eleven,” Mark says. When his friends look at him, he adds, “He’s a year younger than us. So, eleven. Should we even be talking about this? He’s already having a hard enough time today.”

“It just doesn’t seem safe to have him here if that’s the truth.”

Mark shoots her a glare. “It’s not like he’s set the school on fire.”

“Yet.”

That’s all it takes to stand up, picking his tray in the process, and climb over the bench. He’s not going to sit and listen to people freak out over gossip. Gossip that’s probably all inflated rumors. He pretends he doesn’t hear his friends when they ask him where he’s going, or when they call for him to come back when they finally realize his trajectory. With his chin up, he crosses to the back of the room. The sound of his tray hitting the surface of the table causes Donghyuck to snap up in surprise.

“Hi,” he greets as he takes a seat. He knows people are watching now, though he hardly cares. People can mind their own business.

Donghyuck’s eyes shift around the room before settling on Mark with a frown. “What are you doing?”

“Sitting here. That a problem?”

There’s suspicion in his gaze, Mark notes. As if he’s waiting for Mark to jump at him or ask him all the questions everyone else has yet to ask to his face. Mark doesn’t do either of those things and instead focuses on his food. Soon enough, the tension that had filled Donghyuck’s shoulders seems to leave him and he starts poking at his rice.

“You don’t like it?” Mark inquires.

Shoving the tray away, Donghyuck says, “I’m not hungry.”

Fair enough, he thinks. Mark doesn’t think he’d be either if he was going through what Donghyuck was. Still, he hands over his pudding cup with a smile. “At least eat that. You still have all afternoon.”

“Why are you being nice to me? I broke your nose,” Donghyuck reminds him. Then, he waves around the room. “Not to mention what people are saying about me.” Leaning forward, he asks, “Are you not going to ask at all?”

Mark shrugs. “Would you tell me the truth if I did?”

“I can tell you there’s not much truth in the rumors,” Donghyuck says, glaring at a group of girls that pass the table, whispering to each other.

While there’s part of him that’s deeply curious, Mark doesn’t want to be the person to force the story to come out. He wants Donghyuck to tell him because he wants to. Not because he feels pressured to. Mark spots his friends, all watching him with interest.

“I have a power,” Mark tells him and Donghyuck studies his face, unsure.

“Is it stupid?”

Mark laughs. “I don’t really think so. I can dream jump.”

“Dream jump?”

Nodding, he explains, “I can jump into other people’s dreams. It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, but I’m told it’s rare. I’m still figuring out how it works.”

“How long have you been able to do that?”

“Since I was ten. I ended up in a little boy’s nightmare and it freaked me right out,” he admits.

Donghyuck stares at him longer and Mark realizes that he might not be the only one with that problem. Mark weighs his options. He can stay at the table and try to make idle conversation, hoping Donghyuck will open up just a little bit, or he can get up and go to class. He really doesn’t like the latter because, ever since he met Donghyuck, he’s been wanting to know more. Even though he doesn’t really know why.

“I can control fire,” comes a quiet reply.

Mark smiles. “Since when?”

“Last year. May.”

There’s something about the way he says ‘May’ that gets Mark’s attention. He doesn’t know much about the fire that happened on the Westside, but he does know it was last year, the first week of June. Donghyuck wouldn’t have had his power for long. Unpracticed, uncontrolled. No, Mark thinks as he takes in Donghyuck’s face, that fire was certainly not planned.

“You want to know what happened,” Donghyuck states, leaning back in his chair. The way he moves is like a cat. Purposeful and graceful. “You want to know why I live with my aunt and uncle?”

“Only if you’ll tell me,” says Mark. “Otherwise, don’t mention anything.”

Donghyuck blinks, as if he doesn’t expect that answer. It must have been the right answer, though, because Donghyuck gives him a tiny smile and reaches his hand across the table. His eyes dance with mirth, reflecting the sun until they’re like molten gold.

“Nice to meet you, Mark. I’m Donghyuck Lee, a pyrokinetic.”

Clasping his hand in Donghyuck’s, Mark grins and says, “Hi, Donghyuck. Mark Lee, Dream Jumper.”

Mark’s always had friends, but never _friends_. Perhaps, he thinks that maybe Donghyuck can be something different.

*

Mark discovers what Donghyuck is like very quickly. It’s like the moment he shook Donghyuck’s hand was the moment he unlocked the box of a whole lot of personality. Despite the mysteries he hides about the fire at his house, Donghyuck is an excitable boy. Strong-willed and quick-witted. Completely Mark’s opposite, though he can’t complain. Donghyuck is entertaining and Mark enjoys spending time with him, in and out of school.

His friends, of course, don’t get it. Then again, Mark’s never understood them as much as he thought he did. In the end, he spends all his free time with Donghyuck and completely leaves behind the people who don’t even try to understand.

“My cousin—you remember Jungwoo, right?—started babysitting this kid across the road. Guess who gets to go with him on the weekend?” Donghyuck wrinkles his nose, kicking his feet against the gravel of the playground. It’s a halfway point between Donghyuck’s and Mark’s houses and the quickest place to get to from the school.

Flipping himself on top of the monkey bars so he can watch Donghyuck on the swings, he asks, “Why do you have to go?”

“My aunt and uncle don’t like me being by myself,” he replies with a delicate lift of his shoulders. “Maybe they’re scared I’ll burn the place down while they aren’t there. You accidently set the curtains on fire once and they treat you like you’re going to explode.” He pauses. “ _Again_.”

That’s the other thing. Donghyuck likes to poke fun at himself, especially his past. He makes jokes about setting places on fire, or his home specifically. The tone is always dark and Mark is never sure what to say about it because he knows it’s definitely not a healthy coping mechanism. Nevertheless, he doesn’t think it’s his right to say anything at all. Donghyuck still hasn’t told him what happened to his parents and Mark’s still not going to press about it.

When Mark lifts a brow, Donghyuck looks away with a sigh. He grips the swing tighter. “Either way, I have to go help him look after a nine-year-old. Fun.”

“I’m sure it won’t be that difficult,” he says. “Just hope he’s not chaotic. Or burns off your hair.”

“That was one time,” Donghyuck argues, half-heartedly throwing a pebble Mark’s way. “It was my way to tell you to get a haircut.”

“I like my hair.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “It’s better shorter.”

“Thank you?” His ears suddenly feel very warm and he has to focus on his shoes to try and get them back to normal again. “What if you weren’t by yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

Jumping from the monkey bars, he says, “Like, what if I came over? Jungwoo knows me. Kind of. We could hang out until he comes back from his babysitting. And he’s right across the road, so if something goes wrong, I can just run over?”

Donghyuck furrows his brow in thought. “I could ask, I guess. But, um, you sure?”

“Sure,” he says. “Why not?”

It turns out that Jungwoo has a lot more faith in Mark than he originally thought because he’s nearly vibrating with excitement when Mark crosses over the threshold of Donghyuck’s home for the first time since they met nearly four months ago.

“Okay, so there’s money on the table for pizza and I’m right across the road if you need anything,” Jungwoo says, slipping on his shoes. “Donghyuck, don’t mess anything up. Mark, keep an eye on him.”

“Hey!” Donghyuck yells from the top of the stairs. “Mark could mess something up, too.”

Jungwoo studies Mark and shakes his head. “Doubtful. Very doubtful. Be good. See you in a few hours.”

Then, he’s gone and Mark is left wondering if he should go up to Donghyuck or wait for him to come down. But Donghyuck simply raises a brow at him and says, “You coming?” And that answers that question.

He slips off his shoes and climbs the stairs. He’s not sure what he expected from Donghyuck’s bedroom, but it certainly isn’t this. For someone so full of energy, Donghyuck’s room reflects none of that. It’s pretty stark and beige, the furniture simple looking. The only things that says Donghyuck lives there are his bag, a uniform that hangs on the back of the closet door, and the navy blue and neon yellow bedsheets. Everything else is bled of color.

Donghyuck takes a seat on the edge of the bed and glances around. “It’s not that exciting.”

Putting down his bag, Mark joins him. “Well, I’m not here for your bedroom. Do you not like posters?”

“I just don’t see a point in things,” he says. “You lose them too easily.”

Mark stills, the words slamming into him like a freight train. Donghyuck’s staring at the hardwood, running his foot along the boards absentmindedly. It should have been obvious. He doesn’t have things because he doesn’t _have_ things.

“There wasn’t much left when we—I—lost the house,” Donghyuck whispers. It’s so quiet that Mark almost misses it. “My room was the first to go, so I didn’t even have clothes when I got sent to Social Services. They had to get me new outfits. I guess after what happened, I realized how pointless it all was. They’re just items. I did manage to get this, though.”

Donghyuck gets up and steps around Mark to open the bedside drawer. He holds out something to Mark, who takes it with hesitant fingers. It’s a picture. The edges are singed, but the image is still very much intact. A handsome man with a wide smile has his arm around a pretty, petite woman. She has the same golden skin as Donghyuck, and the same sparkly eyes.

“Authorities say they died from smoke inhalation,” Donghyuck continues. “I don’t remember much about it. I was asleep when it happened. I was having a nightmare and woke up to fire all around me. Before I could even find my parents, a fireman came in and got me out. They didn’t even have to tell me my parents were gone. I knew the moment I woke up.”

“I’m so sorry,” Mark says, eyes unable to leave the smiling couple in his hands.

The picture is snatched from his hand. Donghyuck’s eyes are blazing. “I don’t want your pity.”

“No pity,” he replies. “Just sorrow. I can only image how all that could feel.”

Very slowly, the fire in Donghyuck chills. “I thought that maybe you deserved the truth. I know what people say about me, what you hear. I don’t want you to think I meant to do it. I never did.”

“I know. I know that. I wouldn’t have talked to you that day if I believed what people said. Donghyuck, your power might be a bit unruly, but I don’t think you’re dangerous. I don’t think I ever could.”

Donghyuck gazes down at his parents before returning them to the drawer. He sets the picture down with so much delicacy Mark’s never thought he was capable of, and says, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Now, come on. I brought that game you wanted me to. Let’s order that pizza and then you can whoop my butt because I’m most definitely going to lose.”

Laughing, Donghyuck tosses Mark his bag, grabs his hand, and starts to tug him downstairs. “Rule number one, Mark Lee. I always win.”

Even hours later, when Mark is finally leaving the house, his hand is warm from Donghyuck’s grasp. It makes his heart jitter. He can’t shake the feeling that, perhaps, that’s not normal.

*

A few days later, Mark shows up at Donghyuck’s house. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, he waits for someone to answer the door. He breathes a sigh of relief when it turns out to be Jungwoo. It’s not that Mark doesn’t want to meet Donghyuck’s aunt and uncle. He just gets a distinct feeling that Donghyuck doesn’t particularly like them and Mark doesn’t want to have to deal with that awkwardness.

“Hey, Mark,” Jungwoo says, opening the door wider for him to step in. “Donghyuck’s in his room. You might have to knock pretty loud. He’s got the door shut, which probably means he’s got his headphones in.”

So, Mark does just that. He bangs his fist against the door until it swings open. Donghyuck blinks back at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I brought you something,” he answers.

“You,” he steps to the side, “brought me something? What?”

Digging into his bag, he says, “Okay, so, like, you said stuff was pointless and all that, but you’ve got to have one thing. Just one thing that isn’t clutter, okay? So, here.”

He holds out a stuffed lion. It’s about the size of a basketball, the eyes a little lopsided. Still, it’s cute. At least, he thinks so. He spotted it on his shopping trip with his mom the other day and bought it on impulse, mind on Donghyuck the whole purchase.

With gentle hands, Donghyuck plucks it out of his palm and tilts it this way and that. The button eyes glitter in the sunlight. “You got me a stuffie?”

Mark shrugs. “It reminded me of you.”

“You think I look like a toy lion?”

“Well, actually,” he clears his throat, “my mom said it looked like me. I don’t know. I just thought it was cute. And you should have at least one secret stuffie.”

“Do you have one?”

“A stuffed lion?”

Donghyuck snorts. “No, a secret stuffie.”

“I can’t tell you that. It’s a secret.”

Donghyuck holds up the lion so it’s facing Mark, hiding his grin behind the mane. “It looks stupid.”

“You don’t have to keep it. I can take it back.”

As he reaches out, Donghyuck turns away, hugging it to his chest. “No, I want him.”

If Donghyuck’s named the lion, he never tells Mark. He keeps it perched in the corner of his bed. Even when he complains that stuffies are dust-collectors or that the stuffed lion looks a bit odd, Mark can tell he likes it and it makes Mark feel like he’s won because, yeah, that smile on Donghyuck’s face was so worth it.

*

Mark knows that Donghyuck is trying to pretend that Mark isn’t going into high school next year. Every time he brings it up, he gets talked over or distracted. Honestly, they don’t have much time before they’re separated for a whole year. Sure, they’ll still see each other after school or on the weekends, but it won’t be the same. It certainly won’t be the same for Donghyuck, the boy most of the school is wary about even if it’s been a whole year and a half since he arrived.

Perhaps, it doesn’t help that Donghyuck likes to freak people out by bursting his hand into flames when they annoy him. Yeah, that definitely doesn’t help.

Regardless, Donghyuck might need more friends, much to both of their dislike. Neither of them say it, but they like being each other’s best friends. Donghyuck always pushes the idea of new friends off, saying he can only handle one. Mark, on the other hand, is still coming to terms with why he doesn’t want to share Donghyuck with anyone he doesn’t need to.

It’s odd because best friends can be protective of each other, they can get jealous when new people come in, but there’s something that settles in the pit of Mark’s stomach that makes him think that perhaps it’s a bit unhealthy. Donghyuck’s going to need new friends and Mark is going to have to explore high school. They won’t be with each other all the time anymore, so they’re going to need new people to fill in the void they’re both creating for each other.

Even if they don’t really want to.

So, yeah, that’s where he’s at right now, sitting in the grass of the school courtyard during lunch. It’s a breezy day, the sun high in the sky. After being indoors all morning, it’s nice to finally get out. Donghyuck’s head is in his lap as he lights and relights his fingers aflame. Warmth radiates off him and straight through Mark’s jeans.

“I’m leaving,” he says.

“The bell hasn’t rung yet,” Donghyuck replies, raising a brow at him.

Mark shakes his head. “No, I mean, this is my last year here. Then, I’m leaving. I’m going into high school.”

“Not this again,” groans Donghyuck.

Shoving at Donghyuck’s head to get him to sit up, he says, “Yes, this again. Don’t you think we should prepare?”

“Prepare? Mark, you’re going to high school. Not war. It’s not like we won’t ever be able to see each other.”

“Maybe, but what about during school? Who are you going to hang out with?”

“Who are _you_ going to hang out with? Unless you’re going to crawl back to your old friends,” Donghyuck mumbles, crossing his arms and glaring at the school that looms over them.

“Wasn’t planning to. I thought I could join a team or something. I’ve always wanted to be on the basketball team,” he says.

Donghyuck’s frown deepens. “Oh, lovely. Replace me with a team of jocks.”

“Is that what this is about? Hyuck, I’m not going to replace you. And I would like to think you wouldn’t replace me—”

“I wouldn’t,” he interrupts, firmly. “That’s the point. I don’t want more friends. I have you. I don’t need any others.”

“I just think that maybe one or two more people wouldn’t be a bad idea. Just to give you some people to talk to at school. Like, what about those two, who talk to you before class sometimes?”

Wrinkling his nose, Donghyuck questions, “Jaemin and Jeno? Jaemin’s too bubbly and Jeno hardly talks. I don’t think we’d fit well.”

Mark nudges him in the side with his elbow. “At least try? They seem fine.”

“Fine.” Donghyuck drops back down onto Mark’s lap and wiggles to get comfortable. Mark’s hand moves on its own, tangling his fingers in Donghyuck’s hair. Once it’s there, he can’t seem to lift it. His hair is ridiculously soft. “But you have to promise me that we’re still best friends before anyone else. No replacements.”

“No replacements,” he promises because, despite what Donghyuck may believe, Mark doesn’t think he ever could replace him. He wouldn’t ever want to.

The next day, Mark is surprised to find three new additions to the table he and Donghyuck had snagged since the first time they ate lunch together last year. Donghyuck waves at him from the other side of the cafeteria with a smile.

“Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun,” Donghyuck introduces as Mark takes the empty seat next to him. “Jaemin’s annoying, Jeno’s annoying, and Renjun is—”

“Annoying?” guesses Mark.

“The only sane one,” Donghyuck finishes.

Jaemin snorts from the end of the table. “If he doesn’t have that right. Nice to meet you, Mark.”

“Nice to meet you, too?”

“Donghyuck’s told us about you,” Jeno says, answering his questioning tone. “Plus, people talk about you all the time. You’re kind of popular.”

Mark blinks. “I am? Since when?”

“Since always?” Donghyuck tells him. “Seriously? You’re the most oblivious person I’ve ever met, Mark. It’s so sad.”

“Very nice, Hyuck. Thank you.”

Donghyuck beams at him and reaches over to steal the piece of pizza off Mark’s place. He takes a bite, leaving a spot of sauce on the edge of his mouth. Without thinking, Mark wipes it off with his thumb. He doesn’t quite realize how close they are until he’s done and Donghyuck is staring back at him with wide, round eyes.

Clearing his throat, Mark turns to shove a spoonful of pudding in his mouth and ignores all the watchful gazes of the three boys across from him. He knows his face is red. He can feel it.

While Jaemin’s talking Jeno and Renjun’s ear off, Mark takes the chance to lean over to whisper in Donghyuck’s ear. “I said ‘one or two’. You added an extra person.”

“What can I say?” Donghyuck whispers back. “I’m an overachiever.”

“Liar.”

It turns out that Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun are the kind of addition that seems to just slip into place. They’re there in the mornings, at lunches, even on the weekends sometimes, and Mark finds he doesn’t really mind all that much.

Quiet Jeno is a lot more outspoken than he seems. He keeps Jaemin in line, much like Mark does with Donghyuck. There have been more than enough times where Jeno has shot Mark a look while Jaemin and Donghyuck are bickering over god-knows-what and Mark understands completely.

Jaemin is as bubbly as Donghyuck said he was. Bright and happy and always willing to be loud and obnoxious. Except for the times his battery runs out and he becomes the observer, something that often makes Mark a little anxious for some reason.

At first, Mark isn’t sure what to expect from Renjun. While he’s fairly quiet, his tongue is surprisingly sharp when he does decide to speak. There’s no sugarcoating, no tact. He tells it like it is. Still, there’s something about the way he keeps an eye on all of them that says that he’s, perhaps, a bit softer than he sounds. 

In all honesty, they’re fun. They become a group so quickly that Mark’s not sure how they were never there in the first place. Sure, there are times Mark sort of wishes it was just him and Donghyuck—and they still hang out just the two of them occasionally—but this is good, he thinks. This will give more people for Donghyuck to lean on if he needs to. He can’t be dependent on Mark and Mark can’t be dependent on Donghyuck.

“Are you okay with us being here?” Jaemin asks one day while they fill out all the spaces in Mark’s living room.

Donghyuck and Jeno are playing Mario Kart, shoving at each other to try and make the other lose. It’s totally cheating, but no one stops them. Renjun watches on as he eats all the popcorn.

Frowning, Mark asks, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, with Jeno, Renjun, and me. I know it was just you and Donghyuck for a bit. Must be weird for us to be here all the time. We can back off if you want.”

Mark isn’t sure what to say. It’s been about two months since Donghyuck and Mark started recognizing Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun as their friends, since the two of them started inviting the others out to join them. With December almost coming to a close, along with Mark’s final year at middle school, he’s actually starting to think he’s going to miss hanging out with Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun just as much as he would Donghyuck.

So, he’s not entirely sure why Jaemin’s chosen, two months into their friendship, to ask about it now. Surely, he hasn’t given them the wrong idea. There are times, he admits, that he’s a little more withdrawn while they’re around. He’s not as talkative, he’s not as comfortable, but that’s not their fault. That’s something else completely. Something that’s not…well, that he’s not ready to think about because it makes him sound pathetic.

“No,” he replies. “You’re fine. You all are. What’s this about, Nana?”

Jaemin watches Jeno tackle Donghyuck to the ground for having run his kart off the road. He smiles when Jeno’s laugh filters through the room, loud and true.

Finally, he says, “I just don’t want to make things weird. Sometimes, you just seem a bit—I don’t know how to put it—drawn back? I’m worried it’s because we’re overstepping.”

Mark shakes his head. “It’s not you guys. Don’t worry. It’s…”

“It’s?”

“Nothing,” he sighs. “Nothing at all.”

Jaemin hums. “It’s okay, you know?”

“What is?”

“Nothing.”

Mark doesn’t get to press it because suddenly Donghyuck is dropping himself into Mark’s lap, complaining noisily about how Jeno cheated and made him lose the set. His warmth seeps into Mark and he finds himself curling closer despite his brain telling him not to. Donghyuck doesn’t seem to mind and sinks farther into Mark’s arms, still shouting at Jeno.

Glancing over, Mark finds Jaemin watching him with a soft smile, like he knows something. It makes his stomach churn and he knows he should let go of Donghyuck, to pull his arms back, but he can’t. And maybe, just maybe, that’s everything Jaemin needs to see in order to understand something Mark’s been trying to ignore since he first met Donghyuck.

That thought, in and of itself, is terrifying.

*

Mark’s freshman year of high school is nothing like middle school. He sort of expects that. Bigger school, bigger hallways, bigger kids. There are powers, too. More than he had back at his old school, obviously, since abilities are averagely gained after a person’s sixteenth birthday. He finds himself dodging floating objects and running into levitating or invisible people on a daily basis. It’s both scary and kind of thrilling.

With having gained his ability early, Mark’s never really known a lot of people with powers. Just his parents, Donghyuck, his older brother, and Taeyong. The rest of them have all been younger and powerless. At least, he thinks, he’s got one thing going for him when he enters through the front doors of the school on the first day.

It’s definitely harder, too. Not just the school work and the tests, but to be there without his friends. He meets a few people from class, and when he joins the basketball team a month in, he meets Lucas and a few other guys from various grades. Still, it isn’t the same.

He misses Donghyuck. He misses Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun. He gains friends, but they aren’t like his best friends and that makes him desperate to see them a little too much. The only thing he can take comfort in is that Donghyuck has people back in middle school. One more year, he tries to tell himself, one more year and they’ll all be with him again. For now, he needs to explore a bit on his own.

It’s silly because they still hang out. Donghyuck texts him all the time—even in class when he’s definitely not supposed to—and they hang out after school when they can, even meet up on the weekends. But Mark has practices now and homework and tests to study for that hold so much more percentage in his grade than they ever did before. He knows he’s not the only one annoyed with the long distance.

“I hate this,” Donghyuck announces, sprawled across Mark’s bed with his science book open before him.

Mark doesn’t look up from his own textbook. He’s got three more chapters to read before he can call it a night. “Hate what?”

“The fact that we never hang out anymore.”

“We’re hanging out right now.”

He can hear Donghyuck sitting up. “Mark, this isn’t hanging out. This is us studying in the same room. Hardly thrilling.”

Turning in his chair, Mark takes in Donghyuck’s pout. He remembers when he first met Donghyuck, small and kind of delicate looking, even though he was strong enough to break Mark’s nose. The memory makes him hold back a smile. Now, though, newly-fourteen, Donghyuck’s starting to grow. He’s nearly as tall as Mark now, and he’s filling out a bit, too.

Regardless of all that, Donghyuck’s as bright as he always was. His eyes twinkle with the same hidden mischief and his skin still glows like gold. Mark’s not sure what it is because it’s not like he never knew Donghyuck wasn’t pretty, but now his brain is changing up the word to a multitude of things that Mark’s not sure he should be thinking about for a boy, let alone his best friend.

Even still, sitting there in the sunbeams of the evening sun, Donghyuck looks…well, he looks good, Mark manages to filter. He immediately tears his eyes away, landing on Donghyuck’s textbook instead and thinking he wished he had done more reading in middle school because, _man_ , he’s going to flunk science if he can’t even remember the basics.

“Mark!”

A pillow hits him in the face and he sputters. “Wh—What?”

“Honestly,” Donghyuck sighs. “Where do you go when you stare off into space like that?”

“Nowhere. Sorry. I’m sorry that we don’t hang out as much. High school is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

“Bold of you to assume it would be easier,” says Donghyuck as he gets up to stretch. When he lifts his hands above his head, a sliver of his stomach shows and Mark twists around at the speed of light, heart hammering. “Hey, I’m not done talking. Turn around.”

Slowly, he does what he’s told and hopes that his face isn’t as red as it feels. He’s never hated his pale complexion more than he does in this moment. “At least you have the guys,” he points out.

“Oh, yes, it’s so wonderful to have Jeno and Jaemin send each other hopeless, loving glances over the lunch table. Or any time of the day really. And Renjun is no help,” Donghyuck complains, sitting back down on the bed with his cheeks puffed. “I swear, if they don’t get together soon, I’m going to pull out my hair.”

“Get together?” Mark inquired.

Donghyuck simply stares at him as if he’s grown an extra head. “Please, for the love of all that is great in this world, tell me you are not that oblivious?”

Mark bristles. “What?”

“Dude, they’re practically in love with each other,” he blurts, making Mark flinch. “Honestly, you can’t be that blind. You have eyes. Tell me you haven’t seen the way they look at each other?”

“I don’t think I have. Isn’t that—isn’t that a bit complicated?”

Raising a brow, Donghyuck asks, “Complicated how?”

“I don’t know,” he mutters. “They’re both boys and they’re best friends. That’s bound to get complicated.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were homophobic.” Donghyuck’s tone is like ice, suddenly, and it sends chills down Mark’s spine.

“I’m not!” he insists. “I’m definitely not. Taeyong’s pansexual and Lucas is gay. And I’m—” He cuts himself off when Donghyuck’s eyes narrow. “I have zero issues with it. I just worry about them. It won’t be easy, especially since they’re best friends. What if that messes up their relationship?”

Donghyuck tilts his head. “What if it makes it better? We have no idea. All we can do is sit and wait and hope one of them finally grows a pair.”

“Wow,” Mark breathes. “I had no idea they were attracted to each other. How did I not notice that?”

“Because you’re oblivious,” Donghyuck drawls. Mark throws his eraser at him. “I mean, I guess I can see the attraction. They’re both cute.”

Mark’s heart does a weird summersault and he’s not really sure why. “You think they’re cute?”

“I guess?” Donghyuck shrugs. “Granted, they’re not really my type, but I can see why they find each other cute.”

His throat is suddenly dry and he swallows, really wishing he had some water right now. “Um, what _is_ your type?”

That is definitely something he wishes he could take back because Donghyuck looks at him with one brow raised and his lips curling into his signature smirk that screams trouble. It sends Mark’s heart racing and he mentally curses at it because, _seriously_ , why are you freaking out?

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck finally says, still studying Mark’s face as if he’s searching for something. Mark’s not sure what, but he hopes he finds it quick because all this staring is making him uncomfortable. “I think I’m just picky. He’s got to be cute, though.”

He.

He.

 _He_.

Mark grips the armrest. He feels like this is something he should have known, something he should have picked up on, but, then again, Donghyuck might be right. Mark might be the most oblivious person in their group. Or the world, who knows?

“That okay?” Donghyuck inquires. It’s not a demand, Mark notices. It’s hesitant, yet also a clear challenge. A challenge Mark doesn’t plan on failing.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine. I just—when did you know?”

Shrugging, he says, “I guess I’ve always known.”

“Even when you broke my nose?” Mark asks, smiling a little.

Donghyuck meets his gaze. “Definitely knew then.”

His mother must have turned the heat on by accident because Mark is warm and it’s definitely not from Donghyuck. He’s too far away to really feel the warmth he always carries with him. The air feels stifling, suddenly. Too thick to breath in.

“Anyway,” Donghyuck says, removing his gaze so Mark can finally gasp for air, “the puppy-dog eyes between Jaemin and Jeno are starting to drive me insane and the only person who keeps me sane is too busy sticking his nose in a book to pick up his phone.”

“I said I’m sorry! Look, we’ll hang out more when finals are done. There’s just a lot happening right now.”

“You said we’d get through this year together.”

“And we are.”

“Are we? Or are we forcing it?” Sighing, Donghyuck picks up his textbook and slides it into his bag before shouldering it. “I should go. You’ve got studying to do.”

Mark stands. “Donghyuck, wait—”

“Don’t worry, I’m not mad,” he says. “I’m not. I just don’t think right now is the best time for us to hang out. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Left speechless, Mark can only watch Donghyuck leave his room. He’s not sure what to do. Is he supposed to chase him? Is he supposed to let him leave? Mark knows what he wants to do, but he doesn’t think that’s the best idea.

Dropping back into his chair, he puts his hands in his head and groans. He just doesn’t get it. After years of being Donghyuck’s friend, Mark still has trouble reading him. It’s not fair. It seems like Donghyuck knows Mark like the back of his hand, but Mark is still floundering. The moment he thinks he has him all figured out, the rug is pulled out from under him and he’s left knowing nothing at all.

Mark’s not sure he’ll ever understand Donghyuck.

*

Relationships are not something Mark paid too much attention to. Romantic ones, at least. He’s always known they were there, that he’ll probably end up in one at some point in his life, but, right now, it’s kind of weird to think about. Still, he knows high school is the time that everyone expects you to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It’s almost like some sort of rite of passage.

His friends like to poke fun at him because he’s not as verbal about his attractions as they are. The boys are always observing the girls and the girls the boys and, sometimes, there’s a boy who watches the boys and a girl who watches the girls. Regardless, Mark isn’t that kind of person. He knows when a girl is pretty or when a boy is handsome, but none of them make his heart race or his mind go blank. At least from the high school pool.

There isn’t really a way to explain it, so he simply laughs off the teasing and keeps his mouth closed when the topic comes up. He wishes he had his group, his _real_ group, who kept things less about romance and more about life.

“Hey, man,” Lucas says, nudging Mark in the arm.

They’re with their collection of friends and fellow teammates, swarming one of the tables in the middle of the cafeteria. Mark’s been so into his notebook, studying for his final, that he hasn’t really been paying that much attention to the conversation around him. So, when he finally looks up to find everyone looking at him, he feels like he’s definitely missed something big.

“What is it?” he asks.

Lucas raises his brows and juts his chin before them in a subtle gesture. “Yeri keeps looking at you.”

It’s pure curiosity that has him looking past his friends to the table behind them and there, sitting amongst her friends, is Yeri. She peeks through her hair at him and smiles. Always polite, Mark smiles back, even waves a little, and the girls at the table giggle. She waves back.

Even though they have classes together, homeroom especially, they don’t talk often. Yeri tends to keep to her friends and Mark to his own, but he knows she’s sweet, kind. She can be sociable and friendly. Not to mention, she’s very pretty.

“You should go talk to her,” Lucas whispers. “I hear she might have a crush on you.”

Pretending his ears aren’t turning red at the thought, Mark focuses back on his notebook. “I have too much to do.”

“Well, you might want to put that away,” he hisses, hurriedly. “She’s on her way over.”

Mark startles, looking up once again to find Yeri coming to stand at the edge of the table. Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, she says, “Hey, Mark. Could I talk to you for a second?”

His friends are smiling like hyenas and Mark pointedly ignores them as he scoops up his notebook and follows Yeri out of the cafeteria. They stop in a calmer hallway, the noise from the other room muffled by distance. It doesn’t feel as awkward as it perhaps should be, he thinks. There’s a pretty girl before him and he’s more wary of simply saying something stupid then the fact that they’re alone.

There have been confessions before. Never ones as obvious as this one, but they’ve happened before. Notes passed, friends asking instead. Mark’s turned them all down because, well, high school is hard and dating is just not something on his mind a lot of the time. Still, Yeri smiles at him and he thinks back to how his friends like to joke about the fact that he’s a virgin in all the senses and Mark wonders if maybe he should at least try. Yeri’s so nice and, yeah, Mark likes her. Well, maybe not romantically. Not yet, anyway.

So, when she asks him if he wants to go out with her on Friday night he agrees because why not? What’s the harm in going on a small date? If he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t have to continue it. She grins when he says yes and he smiles back, albeit a bit hesitant.

“A date?” Taeyong asks the moment Mark asks for help on what to wear. They’re in Taeyong’s apartment, one he shares with two other boys, Johnny and Doyoung. “With who?”

“A girl from my class. Yeri.”

“Oh.”

The stove beeps and Taeyong hurries over to pull out the tray of cupcakes. The whole place smells insanely sweet. Mark kind of wants to eat all of them. Not that Taeyong would let him. Despite being more of a baker than a chef—though he dabbles in both—he’s always on a health kick.

Resting his chin in his hands, Mark asks, “Oh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just didn’t know you liked this girl,” Taeyong replies, wrinkling his nose just slightly. Mark’s not surprised because he definitely hasn’t thought about Yeri before, especially not in Taeyong’s presence. “I thought you liked someone else?”

Mark perks. “Who?”

“Never mind,” Taeyong says with a wave of his hand. He smiles as he takes a seat at the table across from Mark. “So, what’s she like?”

That, Mark thinks, is a very good question. He knows the basis of Yeri, but not her completely, so he settles with, “Nice? Friendly?”

The answer draws a frown on Taeyong’s face, his eyes searching. After being friends for five years, Mark’s gotten used to Taeyong digging through his mind. In fact, Mark kind of likes it because it means he doesn’t actually need to talk and, a lot of time, talking makes things worse for Mark.

“That’s not a promising start to a relationship if you don’t actually like her,” Taeyong tells him.

Mark runs his fingers along the table surface. “I do like her. Well, I don’t _like_ -like her. But I could. With time. That’s what dates are for, right? To learn if you like someone enough to keep dating them? You do it all the time.”

“Not all the time.”

“Fine, sometimes. Still, she’s really nice and my friends said I should at least try.”

Biting his lip, Taeyong tilts his head in thought. “You aren’t doing this because your friends are pressuring you, are you? Mark, you don’t have to date yet. You can wait it out. There’s no timeline for it.”

“I know,” he says. “I want to.”

“You sure this isn’t about something else?”

The way he says it has Mark curling in on himself because even if there is something else, it’s not something Mark wants to talk about. He shakes his head and refuses to look up until Taeyong’s given him a cupcake or two.

No, there’s nothing else going on. It’s just a date. An experiment. No harm, no foul. He hopes.

And he’s still holding on to that hope when Friday finally comes and Mark is walking toward downtown with Yeri. The conversation is light and strangely comfortable. Mark doesn’t think they have an awful lot in common. Still, they chat about school, about their friends, their plans for after high school—though Mark makes up his future dreams because he still has no idea what he wants in life—and it’s enough to fill in the walk and even the time before their food arrives at the small, cheap restaurant they decide on.

Yeri is bright. She smiles easily, laughs at all his lame attempts to be funny, and Mark thinks he could like her. It’s hard not to think that when she looks up at him through her lashes when he compliments her or the way she reaches across the table to run her hand over his in such a gentle way.

Mark’s never been one for dating, but Yeri makes it kind of easy. The only thing that makes it awkward is Mark himself, so he doesn’t think that’s too bad of a score.

“I wasn’t sure you’d agree to go out with me,” Yeri says as they leave the restaurant. “You had turned down a few people already and I wasn’t sure if I should even take the chance. But I’m glad you did. You’re really cool, Mark.”

He ducks his head, ears warm. “Um, thank you. You, too. For the record,” he sends her a small smile, “I’m glad you asked me. It’s been fun.”

His flinches ever so slightly when she reaches for his hand, but he catches himself in time and lets her take it, linking their fingers together. Her hand is really cold and Mark doesn’t think his is much better. He wonders if he should be nervous. If his heart should be spinning out of control. Yet, all he feels is calm. Perhaps, that’s better.

“I’d really like to be your girlfriend, Mark. If you’ll have me,” she murmurs.

Before he can answer, his phone buzzes in his pocket. He takes it out, just an inch to see who’s calling him and his heart thuds against his chest when he reads ‘DONGHYUCK’ on the screen. Yeri squeezes his hand, gaining his attention. Dropping his phone back into his pocket, he says, “Yeah, sure.”

For the first time in ever, Mark has a girlfriend and he’s not really sure what to make of it. Or why he refuses to tell Donghyuck about her.

*

Since high school started, Mark’s always been busy. That’s a fact. His friends, he thinks, are quite used to it by now. Even though he still thinks they’re irked when he has to cancel or tell them an excuse. He’s got basketball practice, and afterschool studies to keep his grades above average, and now he has a girlfriend. A girlfriend that takes the usual time he’d usually bank for his friends.

It’s not like he wants to pick her over them. It just happens that way. The group chat is filled with his excuses, to bend the truth to keep them from finding out about Yeri. He’s not ashamed of her. Not at all. In fact, he thinks they’d really like her. She’s sweet, friendly. She’d get along well with Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun. He thinks she’d also get along with Donghyuck, but the thought of the two of them meeting makes him feel sort of nauseous so he tries not to think about it and to keep a very big distance.

At some point, he knows he’s going to have to tell them. It’s been a couple months and Mark is getting tired and his friends are getting tired and Mark misses them. He does. Not having them around all the time is actually starting to hurt and when he tries to tell Yeri he’s going out with his friends he can’t seem to get the words out. It isn’t that Yeri is keeping him from them. She doesn’t even know about them. And maybe that’s the issue.

It’s almost complicated enough to be not complicated at all.

Mark’s very well aware he’s a mess.

“What’s wrong?” Yeri asks as she brushes his fringe from his face.

They’ve been watching a movie for the last hour, his parents out of the house for the evening. Well, Yeri’s been watching the movie. Mark’s been too distracted by his phone buzzing in his pocket, clearly from the group chat, to really pay that much attention. They’ve been trying to plan a meet up. Mark’s just not sure if he’ll be able to go to this one either.

He glances at Yeri before sighing and pausing the movie. She turns into him, leaning against his chest to stare up at him. Sometimes he thinks he’s a bad boyfriend. Sure, he spends time with her, but when he does, his mind is elsewhere.

“I’m just tired,” he tells her.

Shifting closer, Yeri says, “Do you want me to go?”

“No, it’s nothing. I think I’m just not feeling this movie. How do you feel if I switch it to something else—”

“Mark,” she interrupts. “Why haven’t you kissed me?”

Every muscle in his body tenses as he blinks owlishly down at her. She sits up, leaning back slightly so she can keep herself level with him. When she puts a hand on his thigh, he startles at how warm it is. Heart in his throat, Mark looks everywhere but Yeri, trying to come up with some kind of answer.

It isn’t like he’s actively avoided kissing her. He just never felt the need to rush it. They’ve always been a calm sort of pair, slow and patient. He’s also never thought she particularly wanted him to kiss her, though he supposes he should have expected it to come up. Most people want to kiss their partner. Why wouldn’t Yeri want to kiss Mark?

Except Mark doesn’t think he’s ready yet. Over the last couple of months, he’s really learned to like Yeri. Despite his initial thoughts of not having much in common, they’ve both worked hard to learn more about each other, to try. Yeri comes to his games, he goes to her dance practices. They introduce each other to new movies and music. Yeah, Mark likes her, but does he want to kiss her?

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” she says, though her tone sounds sad, maybe even a little resigned.

“It’s not that,” he lies. “I just didn’t want to rush it, you know?”

Yeri tilts her head. “So, do you want to? Kiss, I mean?”

“Do you?”

The laugh he gets is honest and gentle. “Yeah, Mark. I do. You can kiss me if you want to.”

“Oh,” he breathes. “Oh, okay. Yeah, um.”

He sits up, causing Yeri to move away slightly, and he immediately forgets how to kiss someone. Not that he’s done it before, but he’s thought about it. Where to put his hands, what head angle to use, where he wants to do it. This is so out of left field that he’s kind of starting to panic. That is, until Yeri takes his hands and smiles at him. She looks so calm. He wonders if her heart is pounding like his.

Sensing his hesitation, Yeri places her hand on the back of his neck and pulls him in. Their lips touch in an innocent graze to start and, _holy hell_ , Mark is kissing a girl. It’s almost robotic how he reaches up to run his hand through her hair, tilting her head just slightly. She sighs into it and Mark hopes that means he’s done something right.

Kissing, Mark realizes, is kind of nice. Yeri is soft and warm under his fingertips. She kisses like she’s passing whispers and he finds himself falling into a relaxed state of mind. There’s no sparks, no desperation, but it’s nice. The touch of her lips, the way her hands run down his arms, it’s all so light that he’s not sure he can feel it at all, so he presses closer. Yeri makes a noise in the back of her throat when he drifts to the edge of her jaw, lips ghosting along her skin.

“Mark,” she manages, fingers digging into his arms.

He places one final kiss just under her ear before swooping in and capturing her lips a little harder this time. It’s not how he pictured his first kiss. His hands stutter against her side when his past first-kiss-daydreams flitter against the back of his eyelids; of burning heat against his fingertips and golden skin—Mark dives in deeper. Yeri gasps against his lips as she falls back on the couch.

He rests on his elbows, leaning back slightly to look down on her. “You okay?”

“Wonderful,” she replies, smile on her face. “Really, really good.”

After a second to gather his breath, Mark goes to kiss her again when the doorbell rings. He springs up, hands rushing to tame the hair Yeri’s surely messed up. His heart is still slamming against his chest as he goes to get the front door. It completely stops when he sees who’s on his doorstep.

His friends. All of them. Jeno waves at him from the back of the group. In Renjun’s hands is a small box with alien wrapping paper. Jaemin blinds him with a white smile. And Donghyuck. He takes in Mark’s shocked face, eyes trailing from his feet to the top of his head. It sends Mark’s stomach for a spin.

Raising a brow at him, Donghyuck states, “You don’t look dead.”

Mark frowns. “What?”

“Well, that’s the only reason I can think of as to why you’ve been brushing us off for two months. Possibly more if we really want to get into it,” he says. “So, either death or terminal illness that leaves you bedridden. But seeing as you’re out of bed and dressed, one can only assume you’re perfectly healthy.”

“I—Um, I don’t—”

“Mark?”

Oh, dear lord someone help him. He can’t even look behind him because he’s too busy trying to wrap his mind around the fact that his four best friends are on his front porch because they simply want to see him after he’s been a complete jerk and avoided them.

Still, he knows Yeri’s rounding the corner because he can hear her socks against the hardwood and the way she stutters to a stop when she spots all the people at the door. Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun peer in at the sound of Yeri’s voice, smiles gone. Donghyuck, however, hasn’t glanced at all. He’s got his gaze locked on Mark, studying his hair and his face—his lips that probably look a bit red and swollen. Then, he looks at Yeri, expression unreadable.

“Hi,” Yeri says, quietly as she steps up next to Mark and takes his free hand. All of them catch the movement. Jaemin furrows his brows, eyes narrowing. “I’m Yeri. Mark’s girlfriend.”

Donghyuck snaps his attention at Mark. “Oh? Nice to meet you.” He holds out a hand for Yeri to shake. His voice is even, smooth. Mark’s not sure what to make of it. “We’ve heard absolutely nothing about you.”

The words are like a dagger to the chest and Mark winces as Yeri lets out a nervous laugh, letting go of Donghyuck. “To be honest, I don’t know who you are either.”

“We’re his best friends,” Jaemin puts in. “Or we were. We didn’t mean to interrupt your date, Mark. We just wanted to bring you your birthday gift since we can’t seem to meet up, like, at all.”

And Jaemin’s just given a mighty twist to that metaphorical dagger. Mark’s not even sure what to say, he’s so speechless.

“Did you want to come in?” Yeri offers because, _oh sweet_ _Yeri_ , is just that nice, fully willing to let Mark’s friends crash their date.

“No, it’s okay,” Jaemin says. He seems to be the only one out of the group of them who can work his tongue. “We’ll just be on our way.”

Jaemin is the first to head back down the steps. Jeno follows, but not before he gives Mark a look that’s akin to a kicked puppy. Something slams into his chest and Mark manages to catch it before it falls. It’s the wrapped box Renjun was holding.

“Hope you like them,” Renjun grumbles, turning to chase after Jaemin and Jeno who wait at the edge of the path.

“Well,” Donghyuck says, shoving his hands into his pockets, “nice to know where we stand, hey, Mark?”

The dagger is yanked out of his chest when Donghyuck leaves. Mark watches them disappear down the sidewalk in silence. Yeri squeezes his hand and asks if he’s okay. He lies and says he’s fine, but he knows he’s not.

He definitely isn’t fine when he finally gets to open the present they left him to find a new set of headphones, the same ones he had broken the last time they all hung out together. Ones that are just a little too expensive for Mark to replace on his own and ended up having to settle for dollar store cheap knock-offs until he could get a new pair.

Burying his face in his hands, Mark feels guilt crash around him, weighing on his shoulders as if he’s Atlas holding up the world. It’s uncomfortable and heavy and Mark hates it. He hates how he’s put himself in this situation when he hadn’t needed to.

Needless to say, Mark doesn’t sleep that night because all he can see is the hurt on Jeno’s face, the annoyance on Jaemin’s, and the betrayal in Renjun’s. But the one that haunts him the most is the blank stare Donghyuck gave him, which, he knows, never means anything good.

*

Mark isn’t expecting Jaemin to agree to meet him at the mall. In fact, he was sort of thinking that Jaemin would ignore him, complete radio silence, because that’s all Mark’s gotten since last Saturday when his friends found him with Yeri.

Individually, Mark had sent them a message, apologizing for not telling them about Yeri and for being MIA for far too long to be acceptable. Only Jeno replied. Lovely Jeno, who just wants everyone to be friends again. Mark misses him. Jaemin, Renjun, and especially Donghyuck had left him on read. It wasn’t until Mark called Jaemin four times in a row that Jaemin finally picked up.

So, there he is, waiting in the mall food court for Jaemin to finally show up. He was supposed to be there an hour ago. Either he’s not showing up or he’s purposefully being late to make Mark more anxious than he already is because Mark knows that Jaemin is always early or right on time.

He’s about to call Jaemin when he spots two familiar figures moving through the crowd. Jaemin doesn’t look thrilled to see him, and Renjun never looks thrilled. Either way, it’s not calming Mark’s nerves at all. It’s not like he’s expecting a happy, tear-filled reunion, but he definitely wanted something that felt less like a death sentence.

“This is the first time in months that we’ve actually sat down with you,” Jaemin says, glaring at him pointedly.

Mark glances down at his water bottle he’s clutching between his hands. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Well?” Jaemin presses. “What did you want to talk about?”

There’s one thing Mark’s discovered in his short friendship with Jaemin and that’s that he’s the type to be fiercely protective of his friends. While often a bubble of happiness, Jaemin holds a strong ability to hold grudges when he believes someone is in the wrong. And Mark is in the wrong. He’s hurt Jaemin, sure, but he’s also hurt Jeno, Renjun, and Donghyuck as well and that’s what Jaemin cares more about.

Mark knows that in order to reach out to Donghyuck properly, he needs to get Jaemin on his side. Otherwise, Donghyuck’s just going to close the door in his face. This is the first big fight—even if they never truly fought—they’ve ever had and Mark wants to apologize correctly. Not just through a text message.

“What are you doing here Renjun?” Mark doesn’t mean it in a rude way. He’s honestly just curious because he had only asked Jaemin to come and yet here he is.

Renjun’s eyes are sharp, dark shards of black when he says, “I want to know what excuses you come up with.” That hurts. “Plus, Jaemin promised to get me ice cream.”

“Please, you just wanted to see Mark,” Jaemin huffs.

“Where’s Jeno?

“He’s with Donghyuck. He wanted to come, too. He misses you. As much as you’ve been a total jerk, everyone still wants you to come back. But I’m still waiting for an actual reason as to why you cut us out and didn’t even bother to tell us you got a girlfriend. You didn’t even tell Donghyuck.”

Mark hangs his head. “I’m sorry. I really am. It just…Got harder. My parents wanted my grade ups, so I took more study sessions and all my free time other than basketball practices went to that. And then, of course, we started to get games on top of just practices.”

“And the girl?”

“Yeri,” Mark tells them. “Her name is Yeri. She’s in my class. I got tired of people asking me why I was always rejecting confessions, why I hadn’t kissed someone, dated someone. Yeri is nice and she liked me and I liked her, so I thought why not try.”

“You really like her?”

He wants to say yes because, yeah, he does. To a certain extent. She’s fun to hang out with. It’s easy. Comfortable. Mark doesn’t have issues dating her and he does enjoy her company. But does he like her enough? Could he learn to love her? He’s not sure.

Jaemin must see the answer before Mark can say it because he looks away and shakes his head. “So, you’re dating her for what? Because your friends make you feel bad for not having kissed or dated someone? Wow, good friends you have there.”

“No! No, it’s not them. I made the choice. I thought maybe that’s what I needed, you know?”

“Look, I’m going to tell you something. And, yeah, it’s going to make you feel bad,” Jaemin states, “but you need to hear it. You left us. You said that high school wasn’t going to get in the way of our friendship, of yours and Donghyuck’s friendship, and that’s exactly what happened. You left and we didn’t know what to do.”

Staring at his hands, Mark asks, “How’s Donghyuck?”

“Honestly? I don’t know him as well as you do, but even I can tell he’s disappointed. Not angry. Just,” he waves a hand, “upset. After you completely stopped hanging out with us, he sort of just—”

“Fell apart,” Renjun puts in. “Well, as subtly as he could. He was lost, Mark. He spent a lot of time at Jaemin’s or Jeno’s because he had no one else to go to.”

“And you know, as well as anyone, Donghyuck doesn’t like to open up. It took ages for him to tell me anything personal. He’d act like he was fine, but we all knew he wasn’t. Mark, he wanted to get you that gift. He wanted to see you, so badly.”

Running a hand down his face, Mark leans back in his seat and stares at the ceiling. He wants to tell them he was just as lost, just as desperate to see Donghyuck as much as Donghyuck had been to see him. The image of Donghyuck on his porch, eyes flicking from Mark to Yeri and back again, pops into his head and he groans.

“Luckily, Donghyuck had us,” Jaemin says. “We could help when we could. You, though. You, what? Filled your loneliness with practice and study sessions and a girlfriend you don’t actually like instead of just coming to us?”

“I _do_ like Yeri,” he insists, but even he can tell how unconvincing he sounds.

“Oh, you might like her, Mark. As a friend. But you and I both know she isn’t the one you like.”

Mark recoils. “I don’t—what?”

“Mark, now isn’t the time to be an idiot,” Renjun says.

“Renjun’s right. I haven’t been friends with either of you very long, but I knew from the moment I laid eyes on the two of you that something was up. Whether you knew it or not.”

“Two of who? What are you talking about?”

Jaemin and Renjun exchange glances. Something passes between them, a question and then an understanding. Renjun’s chair scrapes across the ground as he gets up and wanders to one of the food booths to read the menu. Linking his fingers together, Jaemin captures Mark’s gaze and sighs.

“Mark, I need you to be honest with me, okay?

That sounds serious. Frowning, Mark leans forward and says, “Okay.”

“How do you feel about Donghyuck?”

Mark’s hand flinches, hitting his water bottle and sending it off the table. Calmly, Jaemin reaches down to pick up and place it back on the table. Eyes wide, he stares at Jaemin, who waits patiently for Mark to say something, anything.

Unfortunately, Mark’s not sure what to say, which doesn’t seem unusual these days. He wonders if Jaemin can hear his heart panicking. He takes hold of his water bottle, letting the coldness sink into his skin, and tries to snap himself out of whatever panic he’s put himself in because, honestly, he doesn’t know why he’s so freaked out. It’s not that hard of a question.

Donghyuck is his best friend. Donghyuck is like his other, more chaotic, half. Donghyuck is everything Mark wishes he could be. Strong, brave, intelligent, quick-witted. There isn’t anything Mark dislikes about Donghyuck because he can’t. It’s impossible. Mark cares about him too much. He adores him.

His heart sinks. Oh, god. Pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, he exhales deeply. No. _Oh_ , he’s such an idiot.

Slowly, he peeks at Jaemin. He’s met with a soft smile and knowing eyes. “Mark, it’s okay.”

A depressed, little laugh bubbles out of him. “Is it?”

“It is,” presses Jaemin. “I think you’ve always known how you felt about Donghyuck. You just didn’t want to acknowledge it. Am I close?”

“He’s my best friend,” he says, weakly.

Jaemin nods. “I know.”

“I thought…” His voice trails off as he glances toward Renjun, who’s now waiting in line. “I don’t know what I thought.”

“If you like Yeri because you like her,” Jaemin says, “then date her. But if you’re dating her because you’re trying to distract yourself, or convince yourself, you need to stop. It’s not fair to either of you.”

“I’m not in love with him,” Mark tells him, hand gripping at his water bottle until it crinkles beneath his hand. “I’m not.”

Jaemin studies him for a moment. “But you’re attracted to him, possibly like him, and that scares you. Is it because he’s a boy?”

“No,” he blurts, maybe a little louder than he expected. Even Jaemin startles. “No, I don’t care about that.”

“You’re worried you’ll ruin your relationship?”

“It will,” says Mark. “I know it will. Donghyuck will make sure it won’t, but it’ll still be there, underneath it all. It won’t be the same if he finds out. You can’t—Jaemin, you can’t tell him.”

Frowning, Jaemin says, “I wouldn’t do that to you. I just need you to be honest with yourself. Donghyuck thinks you don’t want him in your life anymore.” Mark opens his mouth to argue, but Jaemin lifts a hand, cutting him off. “I know you don’t want that. But that’s what he thinks. You dropped him, Mark, because of what? Your fear? Because you wanted to be like all the other high school boys? It doesn’t matter. What matters is, if you want Donghyuck back, you need to fix this. All of this.”

“How?”

“Go to him,” Jaemin says. “And soon. He’s at Jeno’s right now. We can go there together, if you want. He might still hold a grudge, but he misses you. I doubt he’d turn you away if you tried.”

Mark hooks his cold fingers under his legs to warm them. “What if he isn’t ready to see me?”

“I guess that’s a risk you’ll just have to take.”

As soon as Renjun comes back with his ice cream, the three of them leave. Mark keeps his mouth shut, mind spinning because, _oh god_ , he’s going to face Donghyuck after everything. He feels a bit sick. Part of him wants to turn around and bolt, but Jaemin, as if knowing what Mark’s plan is, hooks an arm through his and beams. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t calm him down. It, instead, puts him in more of a tizzy.

It gets even worse when he spots Jeno’s house up ahead. Mark tries get Jaemin’s grip off him, but it simply tightens.

“Uh uh,” Jaemin sings. “You’re not going anywhere. You’ve made it this far, so you’re going to complete this mission and win the level.”

“This isn’t a video game,” Mark hisses. “What if he doesn’t want to talk to me? What if he slams the door in my face? What if he hits me?”

Renjun snorts. “He’s already broken your nose once. At least, you’re prepared for the pain now.”

“Not funny, Injunnie,” Jaemin says with a frown. “Relax, Mark. It’s just Donghyuck.”

“Exactly! Do you guys even know what he’s like when he’s mad?” Mark asks. “He gets all quiet and then he stares at you with all the disappointment and anger he can muster. It eats at you from the inside out. Sometimes, I wish he’d just yell.”

“How many fights have you had?” Jaemin asks, genuine curiosity in his tone.

“Not many, to be honest. We bicker a lot, but that’s just something we do. Whenever we come close to actually fighting, Donghyuck walks away or he’ll stare at you, like I said, or I give in. Whatever comes first, really. We’ve never had an actual blow out.”

Jaemin tugs him close with a smile. They nearly trip over their own feet in the process. “Then, why are you so worried? I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“And if it isn’t, well, you’re screwed.”

“Honestly, Renjun. Not helping,” Jaemin chastises. “Just, try to think about what you’ll say to him.”

That’s just the thing, though. Mark isn’t sure what to say to him because nothing seems to really make anything better. He’s sent one message since the Yeri incident, to apologize and tell Donghyuck that he never meant to avoid him, but he never got an answer, which means he’s going to have to dig a little deeper to really make this up to him.

Mark’s never been okay with spoken word, always a little awkward than anything else. He’s starting to think he should have written something. That would have made the whole thing a whole lot easier. Too bad it’s already too late.

They make it up to the front door and, instead of knocking, Jaemin simply lets himself in. For a second, Mark forgets that Jaemin and Jeno have been friends since they were in diapers and probably wander into each other’s houses unannounced all the time. Even though Mark’s parents love Donghyuck, he’s only ever knocked or rang the doorbell.

“We’re here!” Jaemin calls out as he kicks off his shoes.

Jeno’s voice answers: “Upstairs!”

Jaemin leads up the stairs and Renjun keeps behind Mark to keep him from escaping. As much as he’s missed them, they’re truly annoying when they want their way. Perhaps, that’s part of their charm, though.

The door to Jeno’s room is open wide and it stills Mark because he knows that as soon as he takes another step he’ll be visible to everyone inside, to Donghyuck. Renjun, of course, gives him zero chance to actually prepare himself and shoves him toward the door. It’s so hard that Mark nearly takes a header to the floor and has to grip at the doorframe to keep upright. He shoots Renjun a glare, who simply shrugs and walks into the bedroom.

“Mark?”

He snaps up at the sound of Jeno’s voice. He’s sitting on his bed, eyes blown wide. Mark supposes that Jaemin didn’t warn Jeno of the extra addition. He kind of wishes there had been a bit of a warning because even Donghyuck, sitting right next to Jeno on the bed, seems startled until his eyebrows pull down into a frown. Mark shoots Jaemin a look, who simply shrugs and moves to grab Jeno’s arm.

“Come on,” he says.

“Why?” Jeno asks, letting Jaemin pull him to his feet.

“So that the two idiots can talk,” Renjun says. With one passing glance at Mark, Renjun skirts around him and down the stairs.

Jaemin tugs Jeno across the room to the door. When they stop, Jeno gives Mark a smile and Jaemin whispers, “Fix it.” Then they’re leaving, closing the door behind them.

Mark glances back at the bed. Donghyuck hasn’t moved since Mark arrived, and definitely hasn’t said anything. He watches Mark with hardened eyes, fingers gripping at the dark bed sheets. Mark should be more focused on the fact that Donghyuck looks ready to storm out, that he still looks completely and utterly defeated and upset, but he can’t. Because all he can see is how his eyes flicker to gold like they always do when his fire burns just below the surface, ready to explode. 

“What are you doing here, Mark?” Donghyuck asks, voice low and dangerous.

Mark knows that if he doesn’t say the right thing, it’ll be over. Tearing his eyes from Donghyuck, he glances around the room. It’s not any different from what he remembers. It’s a collection of clutter; from video games to the bike hanging on the wall to all the posters. There’s no surface left untouched and it makes the room feel fully lived in, if not a bit of a mess.

“If you have nothing to say, I’d suggest you leave,” Donghyuck says. “You’re good at that.”

It’s a slap to the face so hard he winces. “I’m sorry. I’ve been a jerk.”

“You think?”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me—”

“Well, thanks.”

Throwing up his hands, Mark says, “Would you just let me apologize?”

Donghyuck leaps to his feet, causing Mark to stumble back. “Why? Why should I? You ghosted us! Ghosted me. _Me_ , Mark. What the hell?”

“I just—it’s just—I didn’t—” A loud groan escapes him and he grips at his hair. He definitely should have written a letter instead. Or at least a script. Gathering himself, he puts out his hands and says, “You think this was easy for me?”

“Seemed pretty easy to me,” Donghyuck snaps. “Jock friends. You even got to stick your tongue down some pretty girl’s throat. Very classy, Mark.”

“Oh, for—I made a choice. Not a very good one, obviously, but, at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. For both of us.”

Donghyuck frowns. “What does _that_ mean?”

“I thought it was better for us to try and, you know, breathe. We were always together—and don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with you. I’d spend all my time with you if I could.” Mark clamps his mouth closed, cheeks flaming, when Donghyuck raises a brow. “I-I just mean that I thought it would be better to be separate people. That’s why I wanted you to make friends. And I was going to try and explore high school a bit.”

“And apparently your classmate,” Donghyuck grumbles.

“Yeri is really nice. Don’t be mad at her. This wasn’t her fault. I just got caught up in everything and, I’ll tell you, it was awful. High school sucks, especially without you there. I was just trying to—”

“Do something you totally didn’t need to do,” interrupts Donghyuck. “Stupidest thing you have ever done and you do a lot of stupid stuff. Honestly, do you even use your brain? I know you’re smart.”

“I am,” he says, slightly offended.

Donghyuck points at his head. “Then start thinking! Mark, I never asked for you to give me space. As much as I have come to like Jeno and Jaemin and Renjun, I never asked to make new friends. I never wanted them. I just wanted you.”

It’s terrifying how those words set off butterflies in Mark’s stomach. He knows that’s not what Donghyuck means. Apparently, his heart didn’t get that memo.

“You’re so stupid,” Donghyuck sighs, dropping on the bed.

Hesitantly, he takes a step forward because he doesn’t know if Donghyuck wants him closer. When he doesn’t say anything, Mark makes his way to the bed slowly and sits down. “At first, I really did try. I wanted to still be able to hang out with you guys. And the reason it got hard was because of practice and study sessions. But, as time passed, I thought it was best for me to try and be a normal high school guy and let you guys do your own thing.”

Maybe he’s making excuses. Maybe there’s another, bigger reason he tried to push Donghyuck away. But he’s not ready to say it just yet, even if Jaemin or Renjun want him to. Mark isn’t ready, so he sticks with this, hoping Donghyuck will take it.

“I don’t know why you thought we’d want that.”

“I knew you didn’t want that,” he says. “I just thought it was for the best. Clearly, I was wrong.”

Donghyuck scoffs. “Clearly.”

Looking at his hands, Mark asks, “On a scale to one to ten: how mad at me are you?”

There’s a moment of silence and Mark thinks that this is it. Donghyuck’s going to hold a grudge for years against him for one stupid mistake. Granted, it was a massive, stupid mistake, but still.

“Mark, I was never mad at you. Upset? Sure. Disappointed? Hell, yeah. But mad?” Donghyuck shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair. Mark follows the movement despite himself. “I _guess_ ,” he rolls his eyes, “I kind of missed you.”

“Kind of?” Mark chuckles. “Well, I kind of missed you, too.”

Donghyuck gives him a crooked grin. “No doubt. I’m freaking amazing. You, however…”

Sweeping up Jeno’s pillow, Mark swats Donghyuck over the head with it. Peels of laugher pour out of Donghyuck, high and loud. It turns into a wrestling match of sorts with Donghyuck shoving the pillow toward Mark and Mark pushing it back. He climbs up onto his knees to get a better advantage, so he can rip the pillow from Donghyuck’s hold and bring it down on him with a solid hit to the side. Kicking out, Donghyuck nails him in the stomach and Mark falls back with a groan. Donghyuck takes this as an opportunity to swing himself on Mark and knock the pillow away. It hits the floor with a soft thud.

He’s laughing too hard because Donghyuck’s switched his mission to tickling Mark along his sides. There’s never a moment he doesn’t regret letting Donghyuck find out he’s ticklish. His hands swat at Donghyuck’s, trying to turn away. He barely registers Donghyuck’s weight as he straddles Mark. At least, until Donghyuck catches his hands and pins them above his head.

The laughter is cut short by a gasp and Mark blinks up at Donghyuck, frozen. Realization dawns on Donghyuck’s face, slowly. His laughter peters out, his smile uncurling. Panting is the only thing Mark can hear in his ears before blood rushes up, muffling it out. Donghyuck’s hands are warm on his wrists, his body radiating heat like a fire, and Mark has a scary thought; he’d welcome the burn.

It’s so startling that his knee jumps, hitting Donghyuck’s lower back and shooting him forward. He catches himself before he can fall completely on Mark, hands slipping from Mark’s wrists to the spots beside his head. Unable to move, Mark keeps his arms up, the feeling of Donghyuck’s fingers imprinted on his skin.

They’re inches apart. This close he can see how flawless Donghyuck’s skin is, smooth like melted gold. When his lips part, Mark’s eyes fall to them. His hands are aching to reach up, to brush his hair from his face so Mark can see him better. His heart lurches.

Mark knows that this isn’t safe. None of this is safe. The worst part is, he can’t tell what Donghyuck is thinking because he’s got that infuriating unreadable expression again. It gives away nothing. The only thing he knows is that neither of them have broken eye contact. One of them is going to have to, though. Mark wants to. He just can’t get himself to.

So, instead, he whispers, “Donghyuck.”

As if waking from a trance, Donghyuck blinks. His eyes flit to Mark to his hands, to their bodies. It’s enough to snap him out of it and he retreats in a flash. He fumbles his way off Mark until he’s simply standing by the side of the bed. He averts his gaze as he bends down to pick up the pillow and toss it back onto the bed.

Slowly, Mark sits up, body feeling suddenly so cold. His tongue is glued to the roof of his mouth, which is fine because he doesn’t trust himself with words right now. God, he could have done something. He could have…He could have—

No. He could, but he didn’t and that’s fine. That’s better. Safer.

Regardless, his traitorous heart hammers against his chest and his hands still want to reach out to draw Donghyuck in and he’s no longer walking a fine line. He’s fallen off it completely. If he wasn’t screwed before, he definitely is now.

Putting his hands on his hips, Donghyuck sighs. Before he can say anything, though, his head snaps around to the door. There’s no one there, so Mark isn’t sure why he’s turned so fast. But then Donghyuck stalks over to the door and wrenches it forward. Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun stumble in.

Letting out a nervous laugh, Jaemin says, “So, um, fixed everything?”

“Jaemin Na, I’m going to murder you,” Donghyuck deadpans, eyes flashing.

Accessing his self-preservation, Jaemin bolts from the room, shoving Renjun and Jeno out of his way. Donghyuck is hot on his heels. Mark can hear Jaemin screaming from down the hall and Donghyuck’s incomprehensible words. Looking to Jeno and Renjun, Mark tightens his lips and gives a little wave.

“All right,” Jeno says. “We all good?”

Mark gives a jerky nod. His voice sounds rough when he replies, “Yep. All good.”

And it is. Mark isn’t lying about that. He knows how to make it up to them, what he needs to let go in order to mend everything he’s done in the last few months. Still, he hears Donghyuck’s voice and it lights something in him. Mark knows it’s not totally ‘all good’. It might never be. But, for now, it _has_ to be.

*

“I’m sorry,” he says, linking his fingers atop his lap, staring at the entrance of his high school. There are so many people around them, but no one’s paying attention to him and Yeri as they sit on one of the benches under a tree. The sun filters through the leaves, casting everything in a bright glow that seems far too beautiful for such a terrible moment.

Yeri frowns. “I just don’t get it. I thought everything was going okay? Was it me? Did I do something?”

“Wh—no! No, you did nothing,” Mark insists. “I just realized this wasn’t for me and I didn’t want to string you along. If it helps, you could tell people you broke up with me. I’ll take the fall.”

“Why would I do that?” she asks, catching his eye. “Mark, I really liked going out with you. If this isn’t what you want, I can’t force you. I wouldn’t want to.”

Mark rubs at his jaw, guilt sinking through his body. He can’t believe he held onto this for so long. It isn’t fair to Yeri at all. While he’s glad he’s doing it now, he also wishes he had done it sooner. Or simply not had said yes in the beginning.

But he did, and now he needs to deal with the consequences. At least he’s managed to make it out without tears from either of them. He’s not sure he could have handled that.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, his voice barely a whisper.

Yeri puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles, all pretty like a flower. “It’s okay. Mark, I’ll be fine. I’m a tough girl. I can handle a break-up. Please, don’t beat yourself up. You look like you’re taking this harder than I am.”

That’s because he is. Because he can’t stop feeling the guilt of leading her on for so long. Maybe even because he hates himself for not being able to like Yeri any more than a friend and saving himself from the heartache he knows is bound to come in his future.

“We’ll be fine,” Yeri tells him. “We can still be friends.”

Mark coughs a laugh. “Now it sounds like you’re breaking up with me.”

“If it makes it easier on you, I can do that,” she teases and he smiles. “There we go. Mark, I don’t hate you for this and you shouldn’t hate yourself either. If you aren’t into it then I’m glad you know now and not later. Right?”

“Right,” he agrees, straightening up. “No, you’re right. I guess I just hate letting people down.”

“Well, I think you’re brave for not dragging this on. You aren’t letting anyone down. It just didn’t work.”

Shaking his head in disbelief, he says, “You’re honestly the nicest person I’ve ever met. You’re going to make someone really happy, Yeri.”

“So will you,” she says. The bell rings in the distance. “We should probably get to class. You coming?”

“I’ll be right there,” he answers.

He watches Yeri head into the building with all the others. Sighing, he digs his phone from his pocket. He types out a text, not really expecting anything anytime soon. He’s almost put it back in his pocket when it buzzes against his palm. His eyes trail over the response and he grins.

**Mark:**

**Officially no longer a normal high school boy**

**Donghyuck:**

**When were you ever?**

**See you tonight, loser. Get ready  
to get your ass kicked at Mario Kart**

**Mark:**

**I don’t stand a chance, do I?**

**Donghyuck:**

**I always win** **😉**

*

The forest is dark.

Mark can barely see, like a dark veil’s been placed over his eyes. Crooked trees loom over him, blocking out the night sky. The moon can’t even shine through the thick blanket of leaves that create a thick, impenetrable ceiling. He twists around, careful not to trip on the rocky, lumpy ground beneath him. The quiet wraps around him, soaking into his body. He’s not cold, but he shivers anyway.

One step forward and he hears a whimper. It registers under everything else and it takes him a moment to realize where it’s coming from because it’s so muffled, so warbled. His eyes hone in on a cluster of bushes, leaves as dark as midnight. Gingerly, he inches closer.

He’s played this game one too many times to know how it should go. Each time may be different, but there are some aspects that are similar. Mark’s been in forests like this before, been in haunted buildings and decrepit mansions. He’s been in too many nightmares to call normal.

“Hello,” he tries.

Despite how soft he makes his voice, it still echoes through the forest, sounding as if he’s underwater. Senses, he thinks, are always broken in dreams. There’s no clear background noise, no smell, no taste. Touch is always hit and miss depending on the person and what their brain wants to register. To hear someone talk, is to hear them through a filter of the mind. It never comes out the way you expect.

As he brushes aside the limbs of the bushes, he finds a small, huddled form buried in the shadows. He crouches down. “Hey, it’s okay,” he says, reaching out a hand. It’s an offering. “It’ll be okay. Come on out.”

Dark eyes snap to his, wide and scared. The little girl, no more than seven or eight, shakes her head, drawing her legs into her chest even more. “It’s out there,” she whispers. The edges of the dream blur. That’s good. That means she’s not as deep into the dream and will wake up soon. Mark just needs to wait it out. “It’s coming.”

Without redrawing his hand, he asks, “What’s coming?”

“The creature,” she whimpers. “It’s after me. It’s going to get me.”

“I won’t let it get you, okay? Just take my hand.”

For a moment, he believes she’ll pull back even more. Children are harder because their imaginations are so much wilder than an adult’s. They can get so into their minds that it’s almost impossible to untangle them. It’s a good thing Mark’s had enough practice to help them through it, to wake them up. To his surprise and relief, a tiny hand falls in his and he helps her from the bush. The dream shakes around him, held together by tender threads of thoughts and imagination.

“Hey,” he says, crouching down to her height. She’s trembling to her socks, eyes everywhere. “Hey, it’ll be all right. What’s your favourite thing to do?”

The girl’s attention falls on him again, brows knitting together. “What?”

He manages a smile and asks, “A hobby? A thing you like to do?”

“Painting,” she replies in a shaky voice. “I like to paint.”

“What do you like to paint?”

“Flowers.”

Mark’s gaze falls on the trees around them. They’re blurring, much like they would if someone simply smudged the image with their thumb. Distracting her by using something she likes is enough to break the things she fears. That’s good, he thinks. That means she’s so close to waking up. The faster she does, the faster Mark can escape.

From beside him, the girl gasps, hand shaking so much that it falls from Mark’s grasp. “I hear it.”

Mark doesn’t. But he also knows that sometimes things fall through the cracks. He’s not as invested in the nightmare as she is. He’s bound to miss some cues.

“It’s coming.”

Following her gaze, Mark spots it. Stalking from the shadows is a black mass. Glowing red eyes stare back at him. Mark digs his heels in. He’s faced enough villains and monsters in dreams; he’s ready to bolt should he need to.

“You have to wake up,” Mark says, not taking his eyes off the creature. It looks like a dog, or some kind of werewolf maybe? He’s not sure. The image is blurry and the only thing that seems clear are the red eyes that shine like rubies in the dark. “Sweetie, you have to wake up now.”

The creature growls, a low and deep guttural noise that makes him shiver. He definitely heard that.

He hears a shuffle and then fast footsteps disappearing behind him. Twisting around, he spots the little girl jumping into the thick of the trees, racing away. He hesitates, glancing over his shoulder at the creature, and then takes off after her.

It chases them. Its feet slam against the forest floor like claps of thunder, exaggerated by a dream. They race through the trees, trying to gain some distance. As they stumble into a clearing, the creature steps behind them, Mark catches the little girl’s arm and pulls her to a stop. She’s utterly terrified and she needs to wake up.

“Come on,” he says, hurriedly. He knows the creatures upon them. “Wake up. It’s okay. Just wake up.”

She whimpers, eyes landing on the thing that creeps toward them like a predator sneaking up on prey. Mark shoves her behind him.

“WAKE UP!” he bellows as the creature lunges at them. He throws a hand up and just as teeth lock around his arm, the dream snaps back into black.

Mark shoots up in his bed, panting and sweating. His shirt sticks to his torso uncomfortably. He’s back in his room, thank god. Running a hand through his wet fringe, Mark tries to steady his breathing and his heart. It pounds in his chest like a sledge hammer. Somewhere out there, a little girl has woken up screaming, but at least she’s awake. Safe.

His phone lights up, buzzing against his bedside table.

**Taeyong:**

**Are you okay?**

**Mark:**

**I’m okay. Go back to sleep**

He moves to untangle his bedsheets from his legs and gets to his feet. It’s still dark out, and the time on his phone reads way too early in the morning to be up. Sluggishly, he makes it to the bathroom. He flips the tap to cold and splashes water on his face. His nerves are always a little frazzled when he gets out of a jump. His brain might know it’s a dream, but his body sometimes gets caught in the sensations and then it takes a bit of time to come back to reality.

He turns off the tap and presses a towel to his face, taking a shaky breath. When he pulls it away, his eyes catch something red. It drips onto the counter. Mark twists his arm, red and wet, to find angry teeth marks that have been imbedded into his skin on his forearm. It’s like he got bitten by a dog. Hesitantly, he runs a finger over one of the holes. It’s then he registers the pain and hisses, retracting his hand.

Sighing, he wraps the towel around his arm and heads out of the bathroom and down the hall. He hates having to do this, but he’ll get in more trouble if he doesn’t, so he enters his parents’ room and calls out, “Mom.”

One of the lumps in the bed shifts and sits up. His mom wipes at her eyes. It takes a few moments for her brain to catch up and, finally, her attention lands on him in the doorway. Her gaze flicks down to the bloody towel and she sighs, body deflating.

“Not again, Mark,” is all she says.

Mark lifts one side of his mouth in a sheepish grin. “Sorry.”

It takes a bit of time for her to get out of bed and take out the first aid kit. She’s quiet while she cleans out his arm and wraps it in a bandage. All the while, her lips are pulled tight, face white as a sheet. She hates seeing him hurt and he hates having to show her that, but she takes it worse when he hides it.

“What was it this time?” she asks, closing up the kit.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “A dog, maybe? It wasn’t clear.”

She hums. “Means it won’t last long. Maybe a day. Keep it safe. Try to get a bit more sleep. You’ve got school in the morning.”

“Thank you.” He kisses her temple and heads back to his room.

She’s right. It won’t take long to heal. He can already feel his body slowly sealing it closed. The blurrier the dream, the less chance he’ll get injured. And if he is, the less dangerous that injury really is. He doesn’t even want to think about what it could have turned out like if it was clearer.

His sheets are bloody and he ends up pulling them off and tossing them in the corner to do laundry after school. He takes an extra blanket from the linen closet before crawling back into bed, sleep heavy on his eyelids. The last thing he wonders before completely falling asleep is if Donghyuck will notice his injury. He always does.

*

Mark’s fist hasn’t even hit the door when it swings open. Jungwoo waves inside the house with a “Come on in, Mark” and continues his way down the hall toward the kitchen. Stepping inside, he mutters a quiet hello and takes off his shoes. He knows Jungwoo has given him permission to walk straight in, but Mark’s never really sure when Donghyuck’s aunt and uncle are home. After all these years, he’s never fully met them. He’s not sure how they would feel about him barging in. So, he knocks still.

“Donghyuck still in bed?” Mark asks as he follows Jungwoo into the kitchen.

He reaches over to the plate he knows is Donghyuck’s breakfast and steals a piece of toast. By now, everything is routine. Mark comes over in the mornings, picks Donghyuck up, and they both walk to school together. It’s only been a month since Mark became a Sophomore and Donghyuck a Freshman. He has to admit, it’s much nicer to have Donghyuck back in the halls with him again after last year’s hell.

Jungwoo nods. Raising his voice, he yells toward the ceiling, “Yeah, and if he doesn’t hurry up, he’ll be late for class!”

The response is a slamming door. Mark smirks into his toast and shakes his head. He and Jungwoo both know that he’s given up trying to get to school early. Even with Donghyuck dragging his feet, they still make it for the final bell of the morning. Somehow. He remembers last year when he tried to show up at least half an hour before class started. Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen ever again.

As he goes to put down the half-eaten piece of toast, his school blazer rubs against his arm and he winces. The pain should be gone by now, but every so often it flares as if simply reminding him it’s still there. He wrinkles his nose, pressing a hand to it.

“You okay?” Jungwoo asks.

Mark glances up, startled. “Oh, uh, yeah. Fine.”

“Don’t lie to me.” He snaps his fingers, lips pursed.

Sometimes, Mark forgets how perceptive Jungwoo really is. He shouldn’t. Donghyuck’s the exact same. Still, it’s annoying in the times he wishes he could keep a secret. It’s a dream wound. It’s not really that bad. Sighing, he shrugs off his blazer and rolls up his sleeves. He’s kind of stunned to see that blood’s faintly stained the bandage from the inside out.

“What happened?”

Shrugging, Mark rolls down his sleeve, and picks up his half-eaten toast again. His brows furrow slightly when he says, “I think it was a dog.”

“You think?”

“Well, it was a bit dark,” he admits. “And it was blurry. But it was big and it had teeth, so I just assumed dog, you know?”

Jungwoo probably doesn’t know, but Mark lets him nod anyway. Mark’s powers have always been a bit of a mystery to everyone, even himself. The logistics are strange and whimsical, like a dream usually is. It doesn’t matter how many times he jumps; he still learns something each time he goes.

“You good to chill out on your own?” Jungwoo asks, grabbing his own jacket. “I need to head into school early.”

Mark nods, mouth full. When he swallows, he says, “Yeah, we’ll be fine.”

On the way past, Jungwoo ruffles Mark’s hair. “Such a good kid. See you guys later then.” He’s on his way to the front door when he yells, “Don’t make Mark late, brat! I’m heading out!”

From the kitchen, Mark hears heavy footfalls on the steps and knows its Donghyuck coming down finally. He runs his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it. He doesn’t know why he tries. It’ll just get ruined the moment they’re in the wind, anyway. And he’s even stupider to think that Donghyuck actually cares what he looks like.

“Get your paws off my food, Canada!” Donghyuck shouts from the front of the house and Mark shoves the last of the toast in his mouth so all the evidence is gone by the time Donghyuck actually makes it into the kitchen.

“Morning,” Mark greets.

Donghyuck stands on the threshold, hands on his hips, and a frown marring his face. Mark thinks it’s supposed to be intimidating, but, by now, he just finds it kind of adorable. It’s nothing more than a child pouting. It doesn’t help that his uniform is a mess—shirt untucked and blazer just a little too big—and his hair is dripping from his shower. Yep, he’s definitely dangerous.

Shaking out his hair and spraying droplets everywhere, Donghyuck asks, “What did I say about touching my food?”

“You don’t even like toast,” Mark easily responds. “Jungwoo only makes it for me.”

“Whatever.” Donghyuck grabs his chopsticks and slide the plate closer to himself so he can shovel in what’s left.

When he’s in the light, Mark can see all the pastel colors he’s streaked his hair. It’s a stark difference from the wavy, black hair he’s used to seeing, even months later. If he hadn’t introduced Donghyuck to Taeyong, who has an unhealthy obsession with dying his hair all the colors of the rainbow, Mark wonders if Donghyuck would have still done it. It looks good, don’t get him wrong. The majority of his hair has been lightened to something akin to caramel, and it goes with his skin tone nicely. It’s just…different.

Mark’s not even going to say that it makes him want to dye his own because, heaven knows, what Donghyuck would try if he found out.

“What are you staring at?” Donghyuck asks, raising a brow.

Mark coughs, clearly caught. “Um, nothing. You good to go? We should probably get going.”

The thing is, Mark can be lucky. Unfortunately, more often than not, he’s very unlucky. Fortuna, it seems, dislikes him quite a bit. He moves just a little too fast and knocks his arm against the island, causing him to elicit a hiss and hug his arm to his chest to get the throbbing pain to stop.

Donghyuck’s hands are on him in seconds, warm and gentle. “What happened? You okay?”

“It’s nothing,” he grits out. The pain’s already subsiding. “Just a dream wound. It’ll go away.”

Eyes flashing gold, Donghyuck asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s not that big of a deal. Mom bandaged it and I went back to sleep.”

“I thought we talked about you calling me when that happens,” Donghyuck mutters. Then, he steps back and crosses his arms. “Show me.”

“Hyuck,” Mark tries. “It’s nothing.”

“Show. Me. Lee.”

There’s a moment where they stare at each other. A stand-off. Too bad Donghyuck is the more stubborn of the two and Mark knows he needs to get this over with so they can make it to school on time. He shrugs off his jacket once again, tossing it on the island, and hikes up his sleeve.

Donghyuck inhales sharply when he notices the blood. He turns and starts digging through the cabinets. “We’re fixing that.”

“What? Why?”

“Because that bandage needs to be changed. Can you lift your sleeve anymore?”

No, he can’t. But he also doesn’t see why Donghyuck’s so worried. Mark’s been injured enough that it should be common sense. It’ll be healed by the end of the day. They usually are. Regardless of that, Donghyuck always gets so stressed about it, as if Mark is dying. This is one of the reasons he hates telling Donghyuck about his dream wounds.

Still, Mark tries to do as he’s told and yanks up the sleeve. It doesn’t go very far, however, sitting just at the edge of the bandage. It should be enough room to work with.

“Oh, for god’s sake,” Donghyuck says, slamming the first aid kit on the island. “Just take the whole thing off.”

Mark makes a sound he’s never made before; somewhere between a squeal and a gasp. It’s not like they haven’t seen each other shirtless before—and, _no_ , he is not blushing at the memories of that—but that was just swimming. It was socially acceptable. Stripping in Donghyuck’s kitchen in front of Donghyuck himself is not socially acceptable.

“What?” Donghyuck asks. “Why’d you make that sound? We’re both guys. You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.”

That, Mark thinks, doesn’t help at all.

Donghyuck snaps his fingers like Jungwoo does when he wants something and wants it now. “Hurry up or we’ll be late.”

“You don’t need to do this,” he insists, but Donghyuck just glares at him until he starts to unbutton his shirt and slide it off his shoulders. He tries not to look up, tries not to make it seem as awkward as it feels, standing in the kitchen shirtless with Donghyuck right there. “Do it.”

His face is burning and he knows it is. His ears and chest, too. He can’t help it. The room is chilly and he wants to cross his arms, but Donghyuck needs to work on the one, so he keeps as still as he can when Donghyuck inches closer with the first aid kid.

Donghyuck clears his throat and, with warm fingers, starts to undo the bandage. Mark watches his hands work, careful and gentle and everything opposite to how most people think of Donghyuck. It’s somewhat fascinating. He sneaks a peek at Donghyuck’s face. His lips are pulled tight, his eyes narrowed as he works. It isn’t until he tilts his head slightly that Mark notices the redness on his cheeks and Mark wonders what that’s about. He hadn’t made Donghyuck that upset from keeping this from him, had he?

With the bandage off, Mark can see how deep the wound is. He hasn’t really gotten a chance to see it in better lighting since the moment he realized it last night, right before it was covered by his mother. There are two arches of several little holes. It really does look like a dog clamped down on him.

Donghyuck stares at it for a moment. “What happened exactly?”

“Little girl’s nightmare,” he explains as Donghyuck cleans off the blood and starts to put on a new bandage. “It was some weird dog-werewolf-creature-thing. I’m lucky she was on the edge of waking up. Any clearer and it probably would have left more damage.”

“How did it get you?”

Mark picks up his shirt. “Went for her and I got in the way.”

Donghyuck’s quiet for a second as he puts the first aid kit back where he found it. When he turns back around, Mark’s buttoning up his shirt. “You shouldn’t have. She would have woken up, anyway. You know they never get hurt in their own dreams.”

“It still traumatizes them, Hyuck. And she’s just a kid. I’d rather her think back to someone protecting her than someone standing by while her worst nightmare tries to take a bite out of her.”

“Instead, you let it take a bite out of you,” Donghyuck says, tone clipped. Mark opens his mouth, only to get cut off. “I know, I know. You heal fast, but you still get injured. I’d rather like to keep my best friend in one piece, please and thank you.”

Biting the inside of his cheek, Mark can only nod. Although, they both know he won’t stop what he does inside a dream. Mark will always try to help the best he can. Donghyuck will just have to learn how to get used to it. He should be by now, Mark notes.

“Did you bring your bike?” asks Donghyuck.

“No, I walked here.” He gets an eyebrow raise and he rolls his eyes. “Yes, that’s how I get here normally. It’s parked outside.”

“I’ll meet you out there.”

*

Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun are already waiting for them when they arrive. The second bell is about to ring, but they make it, so Mark doesn’t complain too much. They join the others at their lockers, cutting off the conversation. Mark thinks they were talking about a video game, but he has no idea. That’s sort of Jeno and Jaemin’s thing. Mark just tends to nod along.

“What took you so long this morning?” Renjun asks, leaning up against the locker beside Mark’s.

“Mark’s ridiculously stupid power,” Donghyuck replies. He pops open his locker and takes out his books. When he spots Mark’s glare, he asks, “What? Seriously, Mark. Who does it actually help? You can’t even use it when you’re awake.”

“It,” he searches for words, “helps people. Sort of.”

Donghyuck snorts, slamming his locker closed. “Whatever you say, Canada.”

“Maybe it’ll help someone at some point,” Jeno offers. Mark smiles at him. He’s always liked Jeno.

“Don’t give him false hope,” Donghyuck says and Mark shoves him away. “What? It’s not offensive. It’s not even defensive. It’s just… _is_. And you get hurt more often than not when you use it. So, really, who’s it helping?”

Jaemin tilts his head. “You got hurt again?”

“It’s nothing,” he tells them all. “It’ll be all healed up by the end of the day.”

“How bad is it?” Jaemin asks Donghyuck as if Mark can’t answer on his own.

“Bad.”

Mark gawks. “It’s not that bad! It’s a flesh wound that bled a bit.”

“A lot,” Donghyuck correct.

“It’s not that bad,” he repeats. “Don’t worry about it.”

He closes his locker and the group of them start down the hall. They’re going to have to split off soon. Renjun’s got art on the other side of the building from the rest of them. However, despite his often admittance to finding them all extremely annoying, he waits with them until the second bell before rushing off.

“Don’t you think you should—I don’t know—learn to control the jumps?” Renjun asks.

“It’s not like I haven’t tried,” Mark replies. “It’s just not that easy when I’m _asleep_. Once you get a power, you can talk.”

“Wow, Mark. Rub that right in there,” Jaemin says, pressing a hand to his heart. “I hope my power’s awesome. I bet it’ll be so cool.”

Jeno puts an arm around his shoulders. “I’m sure it will, Nana.”

“For now, you’ll just have to deal with being powerless losers instead of power _ful_ losers,” teases Donghyuck. Jaemin kicks at him, but he dances away with a wicked smile. The bell rings. “And that’s our cue.” Giving them all a mock salute, he grabs Mark’s arm and starts dragging him away. “See ya. Wouldn’t wanna be ya.”

Mark lets Donghyuck tug him down the hallway. Their classes are on different levels, but the same wing, so Mark makes sure Donghyuck actually enters the classroom before taking the stairs to the second floor. He doesn’t really need to. He just likes to because he’s a helpless teenage boy with a bit of a crush.

A friendship crush. An admiration that’s kind of turned into an infatuation, but a crush nonetheless. That’s all there is to it. Sure, Mark can get a bit poetic in his head sometimes, but it’s not like he can’t do that about other people. He just spends more time with Donghyuck, is closer to him. It’s only natural.

Donghyuck turns to him, dropping his hand, yet leaving the heat, and grins. Mark’s heart stutters. God, he hopes that’s all it is. Just a crush.

“If you don’t hurry, you’ll be late,” Donghyuck tells him, shooing him away with his hand.

Stepping back, Mark says, “And whose fault would that be?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Go.”

Mark bolts. He barely makes it to the room, catching the door before the teacher can fully close it. She narrows her eyes at him, but lets him in without another word. He slips to the back of the class and takes a seat beside Lucas. His long legs stretch out from under the desk and straight under the chair of the person in front of him. He gives Mark a big smile and waves.

“Howdy, partner,” he greets.

Dropping himself into his chair, Mark says, “Hey, what’s up?”

The teacher starts to talk, so Lucas leans in and whispers, “Miss Lee told me that if I can’t get my grades up this year, I’m going to be kicked off the team. I guess her and a bunch of other teachers have decided to try and help. I have to get a tutor.”

“I can tutor you,” Mark says.

“I told them as much,” he replies. “But they want someone specific. I heard he’s at the top of his class or something. I don’t know. Either way, I’m screwed if I can’t raise my grades.”

“You’ll manage. You always do.”

“Mr. Wong, Mr. Lee,” the teacher calls from the front. “Can I get your attention on the lesson, please?”

Mark shoots Lucas a smile and turns to the front. Lucas will figure it out. He always does. Unlike Mark, Lucas has luck on his side.

*

The thing is, Mark likes to think he knows Donghyuck; when the truth is, he doesn’t even know the half of it. Sure, there are things he’s managed to pick up.

Donghyuck doesn’t eat lunch. He’ll fill himself in the morning and in the evening and snack the rest of the time, but at school Donghyuck keeps away from the cafeteria bar. Mark’s not really sure why, but he thinks it might be because he has to prepare his own meals while at Jungwoo’s, unless Jungwoo does it for him. And, in order to do that, he has to go downstairs where his aunt and uncle usually are.

Donghyuck hates talking about his past, about his current situation in life. He’ll joke it off if someone asks, but there’s a tightness to his lip and a dullness to his eyes if ever his parents are brought up. Mark’s known that since the day he sat down at Donghyuck’s lunch table.

Donghyuck doesn’t lie. He’s about as blunt as a baseball bat to the head. Though, on occasion, depending on what the question is, he’ll give you just enough truth to satisfy, yet leave you wondering on all the rest. Ask the right thing and you’ll wish you never asked at all. Donghyuck is good with words and that, Mark finds, can be a problem sometimes.

Jaemin said once that Donghyuck is a walking enigma. A mystery with all its answers hanging on the outside. Mark wishes Donghyuck was easy to read, easy to understand. And, in a way, he is. But at the same time, he isn’t at all. Mark’s spent more years obsessing over it than is probably considered healthy. He just can’t seem to stop himself.

In the end, Mark knows he’ll get nowhere. There’s no way he will. It’s not like Donghyuck will just bare himself with no questions asked. He’ll always wait for someone to come to him, or never at all. There’s no end to it.

So, yeah, Mark likes to think he’s got all of it sorted out. He knows when Donghyuck is impatient, when he’s hiding how upset he is after his aunt or uncle lash out, or when he’s being defensive. He can catch the spark in his eye when someone challenges him, the downturn of his lips when it rains because he doesn’t like wet days, or the way he practically melts in relief when he gets out into the sun on hot summer days. But he’ll never know what’s laying underneath it all until Donghyuck decides it’s worth talking about.

Too bad Donghyuck doesn’t think he’s worth knowing about.

Sighing, he lays his head on his desk. He’s done his homework, so he decided to just read the next chapter for tomorrow’s class after finally getting home from Jisung’s place. Sometimes, when Jungwoo is babysitting, he invites Mark to come with him and Donghyuck. It’s always fun. Mark likes Jisung. He’s a good kid, just twelve-years-old. Occasionally on the quiet side, but sometimes a chatter box. Doesn’t matter, though, it’s a fun time regardless.

The problem is that he’s been staring at the same sentence for the last twenty minutes because he can’t shake Donghyuck. Like, ever. It’s like he’s somehow imprinted himself into Mark’s mind since the moment he fell out of that stupid tree.

“Pull yourself together, Mark,” he hisses to himself, closing the book.

It’s terribly pathetic, and he knows it. It’s just that, well, Mark is almost too easy to read. Donghyuck _knows_ him. And maybe that’s underestimating Donghyuck’s skill a bit because Donghyuck could read even the hardest person in the room and guess their favourite number. So, maybe it’s not so surprising that he can understand Mark right down to his inner soul. But Mark just wants it to be a two-way street. He should know Donghyuck like that. At this point in his life and their friendship, it shouldn’t be this big of an issue.

A knock comes at his door, snapping him out of his thoughts. His mom pokes her head in. “Hey, hon. Time to go to bed.”

“Okay,” he says.

“How’s your arm?”

He lifts it up for her to see. The bandage is off and the teeth marks are silver spots that will be gone by morning. “All healed.”

She smiles. “Good. Try not to run into any trouble tonight. I don’t want to clean out any more blood from your sheets for at least another week.”

“I’ll do my best,” he laughs.

As soon as the door closes, Mark gets up to get ready for bed. By the time he’s flipping up the blankets, he realizes just how robotic and out of it he is. He doesn’t even remember brushing his teeth, but he can taste the mint of his toothpaste, so he must have. It’s just been a very long day, he thinks.

He’s about to turn off his lamp when his phone buzzes. He catches the name flashing on the screen and picks it up.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asks.

Donghyuck’s voice is quiet as it filters through the speaker. “Come open your window.” He hangs up.

Mark stares at the phone for a moment, a little unsure if Donghyuck really just hung up on him because he’s tired and his brain is slow to register anything right now. Then, quickly, he leaps up from his bed and runs to the window. It takes a bit of effort, but he shoves it up and there, standing a story below, is Donghyuck. He’s still in the oversized hoodie and shorts he was wearing when Mark last saw him at Jisung’s. His bike and helmet are chucked on the lawn next to him.

“What are you doing here?” he calls down.

“Let me in?” is all he gets.

Never one to say no, Mark waves him up. Mark doesn’t have a tree or a lattice to climb, but he does have bulky window sills and two arms. So, Donghyuck uses the lower story window to pull himself up and take hold of Mark’s hands. Together, they drag him over the sill and straight into Mark’s room.

“You had to have been a cat in your last life,” Mark comments, panting a little from all that pulling. Donghyuck’s not heavy, but gravity sure makes him feel that way.

Brushing himself off, Donghyuck says, “If I was, I am nothing less than a Maine Coon. They’re majestic beasts.”

“Oh, you’re majestic now?”

Donghyuck winks at him. “You said it.” There’s a beat before he asks, “Can I stay here?”

Mark’s not sure why he asks. He never has before. This isn’t the first time Donghyuck’s showed up at Mark’s and climbed through his window to stay however long he likes. Usually, he gets inside and immediately crawls under the covers. Mark likes those nights because he doesn’t dream jump and he doesn’t get cold.

Even still, he says, “Of course. Of course, you can.”

Kicking off his shoes, Donghyuck makes his way to Mark’s bed and snuggles under the covers. There’s one thing that Mark knows one-hundred percent about Donghyuck and that is that he doesn’t come at night unless he’s upset about something. And that something is usually his aunt and uncle.

Mark doesn’t ask. He’s stopped asking a while ago about the specifics of the situation. Donghyuck likes to laugh about it, say they simply annoyed him or they were annoyed with him. It’s enough information to get the situation, but not the whole picture.

Mark switches off his lamp and crawls under the sheets from the other side of his bed. It’s not the biggest bed in the universe. In fact, it’s just a single. Sleeping on the same mattress was so much easier when they were both a little smaller. Now, their knees knock together and Mark can feel Donghyuck’s breath on his skin when he leans in to get comfortable. Mark doesn’t think he even needs the blankets because sleeping next to Donghyuck is like sleeping next to a furnace. He’s going to wake up sweaty. Again. But Donghyuck likes to bury himself, so Mark leaves them on.

“You okay?” Mark asks.

Donghyuck nods, hair tickling Mark’s chin as he presses closer. “I just want to sleep.”

Mark leaves it at that. Without another word, he wraps his arms around Donghyuck and closes his eyes. Like always whenever Donghyuck’s there, he doesn’t dream jump when he finally falls to sleep. But he does still wake up sweaty and overheated.

*

Wednesday evening, they all decide to go for a bike ride. Jungwoo is out having dinner with Taeyong, Johnny, and Doyoung, and Donghyuck doesn’t want to be at the house. So, the group of them band together for a ride to both spend some time together and also distract Donghyuck, who, over the last couple of days since he climbed through Mark’s window, has been a little off.

It’s not off enough for everyone to notice. Donghyuck’s not like that. He’s got one of the best poker faces Mark’s ever seen. But there’s the little things that make Mark and his friends a little wary. He’s made too many jokes at his own expense. And not about his looks or his personality—though, he does that too and Mark wants to shake him whenever he does—but at his family’s expense. The thing that set their concern off is when he made a comment at lunch about the fact that his mother always hated the living room wall paper, so maybe she should be glad Donghyuck burned it down.

Mark remembers his blood running cold the second those words left Donghyuck’s lips and his eyes searching for Jaemin’s over the table. Dark humor has always been something that creeps up in Donghyuck’s repertoire, but nothing quite like this.

Needless to say, they’re all a little worried.

“Left or right?” Jeno shouts from the front. He and Jaemin are the farthest ahead, like usual. They have to keep looping back around to stay with the rest of the group.

“Left!” Jaemin yells back. He’s fallen back a bit to bike beside Renjun. “Signal, signal!”

They all put out their arms and turn as a unit. As soon as they’re straight again, Donghyuck puts his hands in his lap, legs still going. It doesn’t matter if he’s wearing a helmet—and, yes, Mark makes them all wear helmets—Mark hates it when he does that. He’s asking to get hurt.

Donghyuck, the reckless daredevil.

“Jeno, if you get too far ahead, you’ll get lost!” Jaemin shouts. Then, he sits back in his seat a bit and shakes his head. “The kid has no sense of direction.”

“As if you’re any better,” Donghyuck says. “The only people who are good with a map are me and Renjun.”

Mark frowns. “What about me?”

“You got lost at the supermarket. Don’t even pretend I didn’t find you confused with all the frozen vegetables, Donghyuck says, pointing at him accusingly.

“It’s not my fault all the frozen aisles look that same!”

“They have signs, Mark!”

Jaemin laughs. “Okay, you two. Now is not the time for you to fight like an old married couple.”

“Old married couple, my ass.” Donghyuck scoffs and Mark flinches. “As if we’re any worse than you and Jeno. The infinite love birds. I swear, you’re so sickeningly sweet that it rots my teeth.”

It could be the wind whipping at his face, but Mark’s pretty sure Jaemin’s cheeks go red before he can look away. “We aren’t that bad.”

“Yes, you are,” states Renjun. He stops pumping his legs and lets the bike carry him. “One of these days, one of you will confess and then you’ll be even worse.”

“Guys,” Jaemin snaps. “We aren’t—we aren’t like that, okay?”

“Whatever you say, Nana,” Donghyuck sings. “Whatever you say.”

Mark squints to try and see where Jeno is. He keeps going just a little too far before falling back and then shooting forward again. He spots Jeno making a turn to the right and tells the others.

“Where the hell is he even going?” Jaemin asks, mostly to himself.

Renjun looks around. “Where even are we? I don’t recognize this street.”

“Westside, near the elementary school,” Jaemin says. As he talks, however, his face falls and he steals a glance at Donghyuck.

When they bike, they just go wherever. There’s no destination or plan. They’ve ended up in several odd places, all over town. They cover a lot of ground. Still, when they do, they try to keep out of Donghyuck’s old neighborhood. It’s a quiet agreement they’ve all come to.

This was not what they agreed to.

Donghyuck’s fallen quiet, eyes glued straight ahead. They still turn right, just to keep up with Jeno, but Jaemin breaks out his phone to call Jeno and tell him to come back. Mark and the others know they should leave.

It isn’t that they don’t think Donghyuck can handle it. They just want Donghyuck to decide to come back on his own terms. He has yet to do that, so they stay clear. Until now.

Mark slows down in unison with Donghyuck. Mark’s not even sure he knows he’s doing it. Hands back on the brakes, legs stilling, Donghyuck’s bike naturally starts to decelerate. Following his line of sight, Mark sees what’s got his attention. There, between two white siding and red bricked houses is a pile of rubble. Orange tape and tall pylons surround it, warning everyone of the impending construction that awaits.

As they draw closer, it becomes apparent that not everything had been cleaned up almost four years ago. There are still half-collapsed walls of the lower floor, charred remains of the wooden structure, and black and grey stone of what’s left of the brickwork. It looks like an inferno tore through the house, wiping more than half of it from existence and, since then, no one’s touched it, leaving it nothing more than a morbid monument.

Donghyuck rolls to a stop, hands gripping his handles so hard the muscles in his arms quake. His eyes float through the site as he takes in all the details. Mark wonders if Donghyuck’s seen the results since the night of the fire, since he was pulled from his house, his parents never following after him. Mark can’t imagine what that does to someone, but he can guess.

“Hyuck?” he whispers, stopping his bike next to Donghyuck’s. He’s not sure which is easier to look at, Donghyuck, or the remains of his old house. “You okay?”

“They’re finally doing it,” he replies with his gaze never leaving the crumbling walls. “Tearing it down and building a new one. Found out a few days ago.”

That explains the shift, Mark thinks. He reaches out to put his hand on Donghyuck’s elbow, only to yank his hand away, a hiss escaping his lips. Donghyuck’s burning. Scorching. Mark’s eyes widen when he notices Donghyuck’s handlebars. The metal warps and drips away, sizzling as it hits the pavement of the road.

“Donghyuck,” he snaps.

On Mark’s tone, Donghyuck pulls his hands back, metal beading along the palms of his hands. They roll off his fingertips. A hiss of ‘Fuck’ falls from Donghyuck’s mouth and he climbs off his bike, glaring at it as if it decided to melt all on its own. A few beads of melted metal hit the chain when he shakes out his hands. Mark doesn’t think it’ll rotate as smoothly anymore.

No one knows what to say. Jeno’s finally come back, catching the end and letting Jaemin whisper in his ear about the construction. Leaning on his handles, Renjun watches with dark eyes, trying to read the situation.

“Are you okay?” Donghyuck asks.

At first, Mark doesn’t realize he’s asking Mark because he’s still looking at his handles. But then his eyes flick up to find Mark’s, gold and bright. Just like they always are when the fire burns just below the surface of his skin. Sometimes, Mark wonders how he doesn’t completely burn through his clothes. Donghyuck’s always laughed off the question.

“Me?” he questions, meekly. “I should be asking _you_ that. Your bike—”

“Your hand,” interrupts Donghyuck. He straightens his bike before rounding it so he’s standing right before Mark. “You touched me. Did you burn yourself?”

Mark’s lips pop open in a silent ‘oh’ and looks down. The skin is red and a bit itchy, but it’s otherwise fine. “No,” he replies. “No, you didn’t hurt me.”

“Come on,” he says. “We should put something on that.”

“Donghyuck, I’m fine,” he presses, but Donghyuck’s not listening. He gets back on his bike and, with what’s left of his handles, grips at them. Mark watches in awe as Donghyuck starts to bike back the way they came without another glance. Turning to his friends, he says, “We should go.”

“Yeah,” Jaemin breathes.

They follow after Donghyuck, back to Mark’s because it’s closer. They don’t bring up the house or the fire or even his bike. It’s too fresh. Mark doesn’t even argue when Donghyuck sits him down at the island and rubs salve into his palm. He’s not even sure what he could say if he had the opportunity. Nothing, he thinks, would make this better.

*

Mark wants to bring it up. He thinks it would be healthy to talk about it. The one problem is, Donghyuck doesn’t want to talk about it. He’s said as much and as little about that fact to make it a well-known thing. Even Jaemin, the one who would usually talk secrets with Donghyuck if Mark isn’t around, can’t seem to break through that wall, try as he might.

It makes worry bubble up inside him, twisting at his insides. Donghyuck’s always been strong, but he’s strong because he hides and buries himself. He pretends that he’s fine, that nothing can shake him. They all know that sooner or later he’ll break down and, when he does, just how much destruction will that bring?

They’re in the hallway the next day, talking about meeting up at the mall in a few days. It’s been a while since they’ve gone somewhere Mark considers civilized public. They hang out at parks or on their bikes or on forest trails. They aren’t mall people. Jeno, however, wants a new video game, so they decide to try and make some time to act like normal people in society. Mark’s not sure how that’ll work when they are a storm of chaos no matter where they go, but he goes with it anyway.

Unfortunately, none of them have their licenses—Mark’s working on it—so they need to find ways to get there. Donghyuck’s only way to get there is for either someone to pick him up, to bike, or ask Jungwoo. Seeing as his bike shouldn’t really be used and Donghyuck hates bugging his friends for things, he decides Jungwoo is the best idea.

And that’s why they hang out at Jungwoo’s locker at lunch, waiting for him to arrive.

“I’m just saying, the second one is better,” Jeno says.

Jaemin wrinkles his nose. “What? Are you crazy? Clearly, the first one is better. You can’t beat the original, okay? It’s the true story of the whole world. The second one tries too hard.”

“But think about the side stories,” Jeno says. “They’re much more intricate then the first one.”

Donghyuck leans against Jungwoo’s locker and laughs. “You’re both ridiculous. The third is obviously the better one.”

Both Jeno and Jaemin spin on Donghyuck as one, eyes narrowed in twin glares. Donghyuck raises his brows when Jaemin points a finger right in his face.

“You are despicable, Donghyuck Lee!” he shouts. “How could you even say that? The third one is a monstrosity.”

“But the third is when the whole thing finally ends,” Donghyuck taunts and Jaemin growls. It doesn’t matter if Jaemin knows Donghyuck is yanking his chain. He’ll let him yank it anyway. “I don’t know. I like the ending. Thought it was well done.”

“Even if you liked the ending, you have to admit the rest of it is utter crap. A complete money grab,” Jeno says.

Shrugging, Donghyuck says, “Maybe, but they did well with the main characters. They all got a happy ending, right? Kid gets a family, main character gets the love of his life, and they all start afresh despite the fact that they’ll probably spend years in therapy for what they went through.”

“Who knew you liked happy endings,” Renjun comments, playing a game on his phone. Mark thinks he’s at level one-hundred-and-three, but he also doesn’t think that’s possible because Renjun just started the game a couple days ago. “All sunshine and rainbows.”

“Happy endings make a movie,” Donghyuck puts in, throwing out his hands. “I mean, think about it. Who wants to see everyone die or go crazy? And open endings? Don’t even get me started on those. There has to be a sliver of hope somewhere. Something that at least makes things feel complete and accomplished. Otherwise, it feels like you’ve wasted all your time for nothing.”

Mark eyes Donghyuck’s form as he moves because he’s suddenly getting very animated and Mark’s never seen Donghyuck so adamant about a story ending before.

“What are you doing?”

Mark turns to find Jungwoo drawing closer. He looks suspicious, but he always does when they all try to find him on campus. He sort of has a reason to. Donghyuck’s always up to no good when he needs his cousin.

Spinning around, Donghyuck positively beams. It’s so bright Mark has to look away to calm himself. A smile shouldn’t set his heart off like this. When he glances back, Donghyuck’s got a hand on one of the lockers, leaning into it. Mark thinks it isn’t fair how bright his smile can shine, how it lights up his whole face. Donghyuck practically glows, golden and pretty.

“Hello, cousin,” Donghyuck says, tone dripping with overused sweetness that has Mark shaking his head in amusement. “Wonderful, amazing cousin.”

“No.”

Donghyuck’s jaw drops. “No? What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I know that tone.” Jungwoo opens his locker to place his textbooks inside and take out his lunch instead. “Whatever you’re thinking, the answer is no.”

“I was just wondering if you could give me a ride to the mall later,” Donghyuck says with a tilt of his head. The pastel streaks in his hair stand out in the florescent lighting of the hallway.

Jungwoo closes his locker door with a click. “I would, but I’m tutoring after school, remember?”

When he starts down the hallway, they trail behind.

“Oh, right.” Donghyuck frowns. “I forgot.”

Mark did, too, and, honestly, he’s not sure how he has. Lucas can’t stop talking and asking about Jungwoo since they started their tutoring sessions. It’s pretty obvious that Lucas has a crush on Jungwoo, but Mark has no idea about how Jungwoo feels. He doesn’t even know if Jungwoo is into guys.

“What about tomorrow?” Donghyuck tries.

“Babysitting,” Jungwoo reminds him.

“I mean, before you babysit. And then maybe come get me when you’re done? Please?”

Jungwoo sighs, stopping on the stairs to the second floor. “What’s wrong with your bike?”

“Nothing is wrong with my bike.” Donghyuck’s usually good at covering himself, but Jungwoo sometimes makes him a little wobbly in his responses. It’s a little too quick of a response to be natural. Technically, Mark notes, there _isn’t_ anything wrong with the bike. It still rolls, still works. It’s just perhaps not the safest thing to use at the moment. 

Mark’s gaze slides from Donghyuck and finds Jungwoo. Flinching, he turns away. He really doesn’t want to be the one to throw Donghyuck under the bus and he knows that if Jungwoo stares at him for a second longer, Mark will spill everything.

“What happened to his bike?” Jungwoo asks.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Donghyuck twisting on them, glaring them all into silence. Renjun, however, isn’t intimidated and simply says, “He melted the handles.”

Good _god_ , Injunnie, Mark thinks, running a hand down his face.

“Renjun Huang!” Donghyuck hisses.

“And the chain,” Jaemin adds, unhelpfully.

A quiet growl emanates from Donghyuck’s throat. “I’m going to melt the both of you next.”

The glare snaps off his face as soon as Jungwoo’s hand lands on Donghyuck’s shoulder. He ducks his head like a guilty child and Mark feels for him. He really does. Donghyuck hates disappointing anyone, especially his cousin.

“We’ll fix your bike,” Jungwoo says. Donghyuck’s head snaps up, eyes round. “And I guess I can drive you to the mall tomorrow. But try to keep your flames at bay, okay? We can’t keep fixing your bike every time your friends beat you in a race or something. Now, go eat lunch. I have work to do. I’ll see you at home.”

Jungwoo leaves them all at the bottom of the staircase. Once he’s out of sight, Donghyuck turns around completely and swats Jaemin upside the head.

“Ow! I wasn’t the only one who snitched!” Jaemin complains, rubbing at his head and leaning into Jeno, who wraps his arms around him and lets him pout.

“You know I can’t hit Renjun,” Donghyuck says, pushing through them all to get to the hallway again. “He hits back. Harder.”

Renjun shoots Mark a smirk. “Damn right, I do.”

Mark snorts and follows Donghyuck. They collect themselves in the corridor, off to the side so they’re out of the way of all the other students.

“All right, so meet up tomorrow at the mall, so Jeno can get his stupid game,” Renjun says.

Frowning, Jeno says, “It’s not stupid. You’d know that if you played it.”

“Yeah, well, not all that into shoot-‘em-up games.”

“No, you’re more of a Flappy Bird kind of guy,” comments Jaemin with a smile.

Renjun makes a face. “Flappy Bird? That’s the best you got?”

While his friends are talking, Mark leans up against the wall next to Donghyuck. He’s scrolling through the newsfeed on his phone, stopping on a video about a very fluffy, white dog.

“Why didn’t you tell Jungwoo about what happened to your bike? What _actually_ happened to your bike?” Mark whispers.

Donghyuck doesn’t look up from the phone as he says, “He does know what happened to the bike. Melted handlebars and all.”

Shifting closer—close enough to feel the heat from Donghyuck seeping into his side through his uniform—he mutters, “You know that’s not what I meant.”

With a soft sigh, Donghyuck finally turns his attention onto Mark. In this lighting, it’s clear how tired he actually is. Dark circles hang under slightly red-rimmed eyes. It pulls at Mark’s heart because he has a sneaking suspicion Donghyuck isn’t sleeping.

“He doesn’t need to know.” Donghyuck glances out of the corner of his eye at Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun to make sure they aren’t listening, and leans into Mark a bit more. Mark tries his hardest not to keep record of their points of contact: shoulders, arms, even their hands brush. Donghyuck’s voice is quiet as he whispers into Mark’s ear, raising goosebumps. “And you’ll be smart and not tell him about it.”

Mark’s gaze snaps to Donghyuck’s. They’re so close and if he just leaned in—Mark steps back, shaking his head. “You should tell him.”

“Tell him what?” Donghyuck hisses. “He already knows what his mom and dad are doing with the house. There isn’t much left to say. So, just leave it, okay? Mark, please.”

It isn’t every day the word ‘please’ leaves Donghyuck’s mouth, so Mark seals his lips shut and nods.

“Are you two done whispering sweet nothings to each other?” Jaemin asks, gaining both Mark and Donghyuck’s attention. “We have ten minutes until class.”

As the others head off in the directions of their lockers, Mark is stalled by a hand on his wrist. He looks back on Donghyuck.

“Promise me that you’ll let me do this how I want to,” he whispers. “Promise me, Mark.”

“Yeah,” Mark agrees. Donghyuck’s hand burns against his skin. “Yeah, I promise.”

He figures that sooner, rather than later, he’ll find out if that promise is a good idea or not.

*

Somewhere between Jeno buying his new game and Mark being tricked into buying them all lunch, Donghyuck manages to convince them to trespass on the local community center’s property on Friday night.

“Are you crazy?” Mark asks, turning on Donghyuck, who simply shrugs, mouth full of fries. At least he’s eating, Mark thinks. Still: “We could get in so much trouble if we get caught.”

Donghyuck smirks, eyes twinkling. “That’s only if we get caught.”

That night just so happens to also be the night Jungwoo goes on a date with Lucas, leaving Donghyuck on his own for a few hours. Purely coincidental, though it does take some convincing from Donghyuck to get Jungwoo to finally say yes. Of course, Donghyuck used Mark as an excuse—all of them really—but Jungwoo isn’t going to call Mark unless Donghyuck never comes home, so he needs to make sure they make it out of the night without a visit to the local police station.

“This is so dumb,” Mark mutters, hugging his jacket close. The wind is particularly chilly tonight and it keeps cutting through his layers like a knife. Mark’s always had poor circulation and this is so not helping. “Someone is going to find us and then we’ll all be in trouble.”

They’ve chosen to meet up along the hidden pathway behind the back-parking lot. Trees run along the sides of the path, which leads to the streets on either side of them. It’s dark and Jaemin’s had to use his phone to light up the area so they don’t trip over anything.

“We’ll be fine.” Jaemin pats him on the shoulder with a soft smile. For some reason, he agreed to it a lot faster than Mark thought he would. Jaemin’s always been on a fine line between responsible and, well, Donghyuck. Apparently, this kind of thing interests him.

“Why does he even want to do this?”

The expression on Jaemin’s face is pure confusion. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

Shaking his head, Jaemin whispers, “You should ask him.”

Glancing around, Mark asks, “Where is he, anyway?”

“Right here, you wuss,” comes the whispered reply. Mark nearly jumps out of his skin, but a hand grips his arm to keep him in place and Donghyuck appears beside him. He can’t stop himself from stepping closer into the warmth. Donghyuck lets him. “Seriously. You’re acting like we’re about to break the law.”

“We are!”

“The most we’ll get is a slap on the hand and a ride home,” states Renjun.

Mark narrows his eyes. “I don’t know about you, but I doubt my parents want to see me in the back of a police car.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Perfect. We won’t ruin your reputation,” Donghyuck says. “So, just relax, will you? All we’re going to do is climb that little ladder and get up to the roof. No actual breaking-and-entering. Just a bit of adventure.”

“And a whole lot of stupid,” he grumbles. His eyes flick over to one of the cameras that sits at the end of the square, brick building. “And what are you going to do about those?”

“They never check those, Mark.”

“Mark’s right,” Jeno pipes up. “Just to be safe. We should do something about them.”

“Yeah, before we do that, though,” much to Mark’s disappointment, Donghyuck steps away from him and says, “we have some guests.”

Mark spins around. Two small figures come running toward them from the end of the pathway. As they get closer, Mark realizes who it is and he yanks on Donghyuck’s wrist.

“You didn’t,” he hisses.

“He found out and he wanted to come,” Donghyuck says. “I’m willing to bet that he would have followed me if I didn’t let him join.”

“And you let him bring Chenle?”

Donghyuck shakes himself from Mark’s grasp. “Well, I wasn’t going to let him wander the streets by himself, so, yes, I let him bring Chenle. They’ll be fine. Breathe before you pass out.”

Mark isn’t sure what to say, so he clenches his jaw and glares at Jisung. He’s only a boy and very obviously should _not_ be exposed to this sort of thing, preferably ever, but Mark also knows Donghyuck and that is a lot to ask for. While Jisung is a good kid, he’s also desperate to be like everyone else—having been born into a Negate family with no hope of ever getting a power. Mark thinks that he might be just a little too willing to show them what he’s made of.

His lanky body is almost at Mark’s shoulder when he finally moves to stand beside him, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Chenle crowds in from the other side, shooting Mark a broad grin. Mark’s only met Chenle a few times over the last year. Jisung and him had met at school and created some kind of bond. It’s good for Jisung. Chenle is bright and happy and super talkative, but he’s also attentive and he likes to try to bring Jisung out of his shell as much as possible.

“Okay, so, cameras?” Renjun inquires, gesturing to the offending machinery. “How exactly are we planning on getting past them?”

“We aren’t,” Donghyuck replies.

Carefully, he squeezes himself out of the group to place himself so he’s directly in front of the camera on the right side of the building. They’re a significant distance away, so Mark’s not entirely sure what Donghyuck’s got planned. His question, however, is answered when fire sparkles against the tips of Donghyuck’s fingers. Mark shoves himself through Renjun and Jaemin to take his arm. He’s already burning so much more under the skin.

“What are you doing?” he snaps.

Donghyuck wrinkles his nose. “Getting rid of the cameras. Duh. Now, let go of me before I incinerate your fingers.”

He just manages to gasp and let go before Donghyuck’s whole hand erupts into flames. The grin he gets is wicked and it stills Mark’s heart for just a second. Turning his attention to his hand, Donghyuck furrows his brow and the muscle in his jaw twitches. He’s shaking as the fire peels from his skin and folds in on itself, creating a ball in the center of his palm the size of a baseball.

“Whoa,” Jeno breathes. “I didn’t know you can do that.”

The ball shatters. Mark stumbles back when flicks of fire shoot at him.

Glaring, Donghyuck says, “Shut up.”

There’s sweat forming along his temples. It makes his stomach churn. Donghyuck doesn’t sweat easily. Only if he’s overworking himself with his power. It’s dangerous. Then again, Donghyuck’s never cared about danger quite like Mark has.

When the fireball is formed, Donghyuck raises his arm and throws. The ball shoots straight and true, but it hits about a foot too high above the camera.

“I think you were a little off,” Jeno says.

Donghyuck growls. “Can we get no comments from the peanut gallery?”

Placing a hand between his shoulder blades, Mark whispers, “Focus.”

Golden eyes shine in the dark. Mark catches himself before he can do something stupid and takes a small step back, hand leaving Donghyuck’s back.

The second time lands. It rams into the camera, knocking it loose. The red light is off. By the time Donghyuck gets the other camera, he’s overheated and panting. Still, he smiles through it, clapping his hands and telling them all to hurry up. Together, they race across the parking lot to the ladder. With Mark and Donghyuck’s help, Jeno makes a jump for the last rung. Carefully, he makes his way up toward the roof. Once he’s there, he waves down at them to let them know it’s safe.

Renjun is next. Mark keeps pushing on the bottom of his shoe until he’s completely out of reach just to help him pull himself up easier. They turn to the next person, Chenle, and lift him up. He laughs when he nearly falls. Mark is pretty sure he down-right has a heart attack.

“Jisung,” Donghyuck says, beckoning him over. He nods to Mark and they bend down, hands linked together, to give Jisung a boost. They’re lucky his limbs are long because it’s so much easier for him to grab onto the ladder than Chenle.

With a wary glance up, Jaemin says, “Okay, let’s do this.”

Donghyuck gives him a smile before helping him jump for the ladder. It takes a little longer for Jaemin to get himself up—much like Renjun—but once he’s close to the top, Donghyuck turns to Mark and puts a hand out.

“You next.”

Mark looks up at the top, where all his friends are watching over the edge of the roof, and then back to Donghyuck. His eyes have gone back to the usual brown, but they still glow in the streetlamp light.

“Don’t you want a boost?” he offers.

Raising a brow, Donghyuck says, “Out of both of us, who actually needs the boost.”

“You’re shorter.”

“By, like, a centimeter! Come on, basketball star, show me what you’re made of then.” Donghyuck steps back from the ladder, shoving his hands into his pockets, and tilts his head, waiting.

Mark shifts so he’s under the ladder. He knows that despite it being a good distance up, Donghyuck totally could reach it. He’s a little too skilled at this sort of thing to be normal. Even still, Mark knows he can jump just as high, if not higher, so he does.

His hands close around the bottom rung, rough with rust, and pulls himself up. It’s a lot more effort than he’s expecting. It’s not like this is in his daily workouts. But once he manages to get his foot on the ladder, it’s smooth sailing from there. He makes it to the top. Jeno and Jaemin help him over the half-wall.

Able to catch his breath, Mark peers over the side. Donghyuck run-jumps with the precisian of an alley cat. He lands solidly, the ladder shaking against the wall. Mark doesn’t think he’s ever seen Donghyuck climb like this, like he’s been practicing, like he’s not only fast but weightless now. Smoothly, he gets to the top and Mark takes his hand to get him over.

“This is awesome,” Chenle says from the other side of the roof. Beside him, Jisung leans over the edge to take a look below. “We should do this more often.”

“I really don’t think this should be a regular occurrence,” Mark admits.

Donghyuck bumps him with his shoulder before heading over to the others. “I don’t know. I’m enjoying this.”

There’s something about the way Donghyuck smiles at him over his shoulder, the falling sun glowing behind him that causes something in Mark’s stomach to flutter. He studies his friends’ silhouettes that shine around the edges. He wonders just how much trouble they’re all going to be for him in the future, especially if this is what they’re like right now.

Like always, his attention falls on Donghyuck. He’s laughing, shoving at Jeno, who’s clearly just made a joke, but there’s something in the way he stands, the slump of his shoulder, that has Mark worried.

Jaemin comes to stand beside him. “You okay?”

“I’m not sure,” he says. “What did you mean? Back there?”

“I really think you should ask him.”

“He won’t tell me. You know he won’t. What do you know, Jaemin?”

Sighing, Jaemin whispers, “He came to my house Tuesday night. He didn’t look happy.”

“Your house? He went to _your_ house?” Mark frowns. He knows he shouldn’t feel affronted. Donghyuck and Jaemin are close and they visit each other often, and, sure, Jaemin is closer distance-wise, but Mark’s always been the one Donghyuck goes to when he’s upset.

Jaemin must be able to read his expression, because he gives Mark a slight smile and says, “To be honest, I don’t know why he went to me either. All I know is that he was upset about something. After a bit of pressing, he told me—well, he told me something and he said he would tell you. I thought he did. I thought that’s why you suddenly agreed to this. To let him have some fun.”

“Nana, what did he tell you?” Mark demands as softly as he can.

“He found out that his aunt and uncle are sending him back into the system.” Mark’s blood runs cold. “They don’t want him around anymore, so they’re simply giving him back. He said he always knew it was going to happen, that it was only a matter of time before they did.”

“It is,” he agrees and Jaemin’s eyes widen. “They’ve always hated Donghyuck. His aunt, especially. She may have lost a sister, but Donghyuck lost his parents, and, yet, she doesn’t see that. The only reason they took him in was because Jungwoo begged for him and now I guess they’re thinking he isn’t worth it.”

Donghyuck never told him that part of his story, but Jungwoo did. One night while they were waiting for Donghyuck to come back from the bathroom. Jungwoo, tired and tongue loose, whispers about how he finally convinced his parents to let Donghyuck finally come live with them even though his own parents loathed the idea of it. Jungwoo has a heart of gold and so much love for his younger cousin. Mark doesn’t know what will happen if they separate.

Mark has no idea what will happen if Donghyuck’s pulled into the system and sent somewhere else. Away from Mark. Away from all of them.

“What are you two chatting about?” Donghyuck calls out. “Get over here. We only have a little longer before the dweebs need to get back home.”

“I’m not a dweeb!” Jisung argues.

“Who said I was talking about you? I could have been talking about Jeno.”

Jeno squawks. “Dweeb, my foot!”

Mark lets Jaemin tug him along so he can break Donghyuck and Jeno up and slip in between them. Without thinking, he sticks his pinky through one of Donghyuck’s beltloops and tugs him closer, feeling the sudden heat up the side of his body. Donghyuck glances at him, eyebrow raised, but when Mark says nothing, he simply leans in and turns his eyes out toward the city before them. In the setting sun, it looks like it’s on fire.

Mark hopes, with all of his heart, that something will happen to sort everything out. If it doesn’t, he’s not sure what to do.

*

Wednesday morning, Mark wakes up to an ominous text from Donghyuck, telling him to meet in the gym before school. Tiredly, he gets ready and heads out a little too early for his liking. Even his mom questions it on his way out. He waves her off with a lie about morning practice and hurries off on his bike toward the school.

By the time he arrives, he’s officially much more awake and wary over why Donghyuck’s even at school right now. He’s locking up his bike when someone calls out his name.

Lucas jogs over to him from the parking lot. “Hey, man, what’s up?”

Making sure his bike is secure, he grabs his bag and the two of them head toward the entrance. “Nothing much. Meeting Donghyuck here. You going to practice or something?”

“Thought I’d do a few drills.”

Mark types out a message to Donghyuck, letting him know that Lucas is with him. He doesn’t wait for a reply before burying his phone back into his pocket.

“How’s the tutoring?” he asks.

Lucas’ smile takes over his face, large and bright. “Amazing. I think I’m really getting a handle on it. And now that I’ve got an actual note from the doctor about my dyslexia, things are suddenly a lot more accommodating. Jungwoo’s great, too.”

Spotting Lucas’ red ears, Mark elbows him in the side. “Good luck, buddy.”

“Oh, shut up.” Lucas shoves him and he nearly flies into the lockers, laughing. “I thought I might ask him to go on another date. I hope he says yes. The last one went well. I think. I hope.”

“Probably did, so don’t worry so much and just ask him.”

Lucas nods, though mostly to himself. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I will. Hey, can I ask you a question?”

They slow to a stop outside of the gym. Mark knows Donghyuck’s inside already, but the look on Lucas’ face seems serious, so he says, “Sure. What’s up?”

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Lucas prefaces.

Mark raises a brow at that.

Clearing his throat, Lucas lowers his voice and asks, “It’s just that, well…You and Donghyuck.”

“What about us?”

“Are you guys, like, together?” When Mark’s mouth pops open, Lucas hurriedly blurts out, “It’s honestly okay if you are or if you don’t want to answer, but it just seems like—”

“Like what?” Mark grips at his bag strap.

Lucas lifts his shoulders up to his ears, almost as if he wants to hide himself. “You guys are pretty attached at the hip, so I was curious is all.”

“No, we’re not dating or seeing each other or doing anything with each other,” he says. Although the thought of all that is becoming a little less odd each time he thinks about it. “We’re just friends. Best friends. That’s all.”

“Oh,” Lucas breathes, shoulders releasing. “Oh, okay. I guess you’re not—I thought you might be, um…”

Sighing, Mark inquired, “Might be what?”

“Gay? Bi? I don’t know. Sometimes you look at him like he hung the stars, you know? But if that’s just how your friendship works then who am I to judge?” Lucas smiles at him, as if trying to ease the tension that’s somehow found home in Mark’s body.

“I’m not,” Mark says. “Gay, that is. I like girls.” He shuffles on the spot, dodging Lucas’ gaze. “I guess I just don’t find boys all that bad either. And Donghyuck is just—he’s—”

“Kind of attractive?” Mark’s eyes snap up. Lucas lands a solid hit to his shoulder with a chuckle. “Dude, don’t worry about it. We’ve all been there. Even though most people would rather die than admit it. It’s cool. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

“Please,” he says, crossing his arms. He’s suddenly feeling exposed. He thinks this is the first time he’s actually admitted to a label of sorts. Maybe with Jaemin, but this feels different. “Please, don’t tell Donghyuck.”

Lucas’ smile falls and he suddenly looks serious again. “I won’t. Consider my lips sealed.”

“Thank you,” he mutters. He looks to the door. “We should, um, go in. He’s waiting for me, so…”

When they open the door, Mark and Lucas halt. Donghyuck and Jungwoo turn toward them. Something akin to pressure fills the air. Mark wonders if they should leave, but he knows Donghyuck asked him to come, and he’s not sure what takes priority right now. Jungwoo’s jaw is set, his gaze on Lucas the longest before it slides over to Mark.

“Everything okay?” Mark asks.

“Everything is fine, Markie!” Donghyuck calls to him.

Within a second, he’s rushing over, throwing himself into Mark’s arms. He nearly drops his bag in order to catch him so they don’t go crashing to the floor. His heart stutters, mind replaying the nickname shouted at him. Donghyuck isn’t one for cutesy names unless it’s purely for teasing, so it’s somewhat shocking to hear it come from his mouth. Not to mention the strangely over-exerted physical affection. Sure, Donghyuck is touchy and he does tend to jump on people, but something about this feels off. It puts Mark’s worry on high.

“Jungwoo and I were just talking about the fact that he needs more fun in his life,” Donghyuck says, arms still around Mark’s neck as he leans back to look at Jungwoo over his shoulder. “He’s earlier than the teachers. Really, it’s unhealthy.”

Lucas chuckles. “He’s just dedicated.”

“And you’re whipped,” Donghyuck whispers a little too loudly. Jungwoo shoots him a glare. “Anyway,” he turns to Mark, “you still want to practice?”

They’re in such a strange position and if Mark notices it than the others must, too. He sneaks a glance at Lucas, who’s failing at hiding a smirk. With great difficulty, he unwraps his arms from around Donghyuck’s waist and steps back.

“Probably should. We’ve got a game coming up. Still cool to do some hoops?” Mark turns the question to Lucas, who shrugs in response. “I’ll get the ball then.”

Dropping his bag off by the bleachers, Mark starts toward the storage closet with Donghyuck right behind him. He flicks on the light and lets Donghyuck enter first. Wandering to the back corner where the basketballs are, Mark wonders if he should ask. Ask why Donghyuck is being a little odd this morning, why Mark needed to be here so early, why Donghyuck never told him about his aunt’s plan for him.

He takes out a ball and spins it in his fingers. The cold, beaded leather rubs against his skin as he thinks. Inhaling deeply, he turns on Donghyuck. He’s poking at the tennis rackets that hang on the wall. They clatter together, disrupting the quiet.

“Want to tell me what’s up?” Mark tries.

“Nothing to talk about,” is the reply. Donghyuck starts for the door. “We should get out there—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Mark’s words cause Donghyuck to stop, hand on the doorknob. “Why didn’t you tell me they were thinking about putting you back in the system?”

Donghyuck is silent for a moment. Just a beat. Then he scoffs, turning. “Jaemin?”

He decides to leave the question unanswered because it doesn’t matter. That’s not the point. “Were you going to tell me?”

“I was,” Donghyuck mutters. He won’t meet Mark’s gaze. He keeps studying the rackets on the wall. So, Mark moves closer. It gets the desired effect. Donghyuck’s eyes snap to his, lips pulled tight. “Later.”

“When? When you leave?”

Licking his lips, Donghyuck rolls his eyes to the ceiling and breathes. It’s shaky and Mark doesn’t think he’s ever seen Donghyuck so unraveled before, so uncomposed. He’s been upset before, but this is different. Anger, annoyance, happiness. Those are all emotions Donghyuck lets people see. Vulnerability isn’t.

Slowly, he lowers his gaze to Mark’s once again. There’s something there. A plea, maybe? As if he just wants Mark to listen, to not interrupt, to just let Donghyuck get through this without any comments or questions. Mark thinks he doesn’t need to plea. He’d do that anyway.

“I found out last week and I just…I guess I didn’t want to worry you,” Donghyuck admits. “But it’ll be okay. It’ll work out. I kind of expected it to happen and I accept it, so—I’m fine, Mark. It’ll be—”

“Hyuck,” Mark snaps, successfully shutting Donghyuck up. He presses his fingers into the basketball. “Stop it. Stop saying you’re fine when you’re obviously not. You don’t have to go through this with a brave face, okay? This isn’t fine. Nothing about this is _fine_.”

“I—” Donghyuck’s voice cracks and, for a moment, Mark thinks he’s going to start up again like he usually does, gathered and ready to school his features into something stronger. Except, he doesn’t. Mark’s eyes widen when he spots the first tear to slip down Donghyuck’s cheek. Then another one. And another one. Donghyuck covers his face with his hands, trying to spin away, to hide himself. “I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to go.”

Mark drops the ball and hurries over, twisting Donghyuck around to pull him into his chest. Donghyuck’s whole body is shaking as he grasps at the front of Mark’s shirt and digs his face in. Part of him knew something like this would happen at some point, that Donghyuck would break down, eventually, but he never figured now. And, sometimes, he didn’t think ever. Donghyuck doesn’t cry. He gets everything but. There’s always a flash of frustration or anger or forced comical genius, but never tears.

This is a whole new game Mark’s not sure how to play.

“I don’t want to go,” Donghyuck whispers, his voice muffled by Mark’s shirt. His tears soak through the fabric. “They’re going to send me away and then what? What happens? What if they move me to another school or another city and I—What if I never see Jungwoo again? Or Jeno or Renjun or Jaemin? Or you? I don’t want to leave you.”

Mark’s arms tighten. “You won’t. You won’t leave us. Jungwoo wouldn’t let them take you away. Neither would I.”

“You can’t stop them.”

“But we can try,” Mark says. “And if you can’t be here anymore, then I’ll go to you. We’re Mark and Donghyuck. We’re a team. I’m not letting them break us up. Ever.”

Sniffling, Donghyuck leans back to look at him. His eyes are red, still watery, but Mark can’t stop himself from thinking they’re really pretty. His lips tremble as he tries a smile. “Probably a good thing if they didn’t. You wouldn’t last a day without me. We all know what happened last time.”

Mark chuckles. “Yeah, it was a bit of a disaster.” They fall silent, still tight in an embrace. Mark doesn’t want to let go. “What do you need, right now? Anything.”

Donghyuck glances down at his fingers, which play with the collar of his shirt. “I don’t want to be here.”

“So, let’s go.”

Dark eyes snap to his. “I’m not going to let you ruin your perfect school record because of me.”

“It’s not because of you. It’s because I choose to. I’m going to skip today.” Mark grins. “Join me?”

When he gets a laugh, Mark considers that a small victory. “I suppose I could keep you company.”

Finally stepping back, Mark bends down to pick up the basketball he had dropped and says, “Come on. Let’s go.”

When they step out of the storage room, Jungwoo is dragging Lucas toward the door. As soon as Mark opens his mouth, Jungwoo is shouting back to them: “I’m stealing him! Have fun, you two!”

The two of them watch the door slam shut, leaving them alone in the quiet of the gym. From beside him, Donghyuck sniffs because his nose is still running. He wipes at his eyes with his sleeve before glancing at Mark and frowning. He points at the basketball in Mark’s hands.

“What are you doing with that? Put that back,” he orders. “We’re leaving, remember?”

Mark does as he’s told. Donghyuck is holding out his backpack when he reemerges, appearing a bit better than he was minutes ago. The two of them head out, grabbing their bikes on the way. Mark lets Donghyuck lead them out of the parking lot. They dodge all the students trying to get in and it makes Mark realize exactly what they’re about to do.

Donghyuck is right. He has a perfect record. Even if he’s sick like a dog, Mark shows up to class. He forces himself to pay attention, to do the homework and all the tests. Over the years, he’s spent more time convincing Donghyuck _not_ to skip and now he’s doing it.

He sort of hopes his mother never finds out. Then again, she’s been kind of bugging him about getting into trouble because she’s worried about him. Mark always tells her that Donghyuck has that side of the spectrum down and he has the other. That’s why they work so well. Mark keeps Donghyuck on the straight and narrow and Donghyuck keeps him on his toes.

He’s not sure how long they bike for or where they’re going, but he follows Donghyuck, nevertheless. They’re doing this for him, anyway. It only seems right for him to take control. Donghyuck loops around him and lands at his side instead of in front.

“Regretting your decision yet?” he teases.

Shaking his head, Mark says, “Nope. Lead the way.”

Donghyuck nods and picks up the pace. They roll through a quiet neighborhood, ducking through a park on their way across town. It isn’t until he spots the road sign that Mark slows down, eyeing Donghyuck’s back warily.

“Hyuck, why are we here?” he asks, shouting to be heard.

There’s no answer, however. Donghyuck turns the corner and the construction site comes into view. They’ve taken down what was left of the rubble and started building the framework. Mark wonders if it’ll look like the original house did or if they’ve designed something new. He supposes, in the end, it doesn’t really matter.

He comes to a stop next to Donghyuck. “Hey, you okay?”

“I just wanted to see it,” Donghyuck says. He hops off his bike, rolling it to the sidewalk, and kicks down the stand. “I guess they were serious. I mean, of course they were, but I guess I didn’t really want to believe it.”

Mark puts his bike next to Donghyuck’s and steps closer. “I’m sorry.”

Shrugging, Donghyuck says, “Nothing to be sorry about. Sort of brought it on myself. If it weren’t for me and my powers, that house would still be there. And my parents would still be alive.” He studies the wooden supports that make up the inner layer of the walls. “Do you think we still would have met?”

Mark glances at him from the corner of his eye. “Yeah, I think we would have. Somehow.”

It’s one of those moments where Mark isn’t sure what the best course of action is and it’s left his mind a mess. He could take Donghyuck away. In fact, he thinks that’s the best option because Donghyuck doesn’t need more memories to deal with, more self-hatred to put on himself, or more heartache to go through. But at the same time, Donghyuck brought them here for a reason and Mark doesn’t want to just drag him away and ruin that.

So, he stands by Donghyuck side, quiet and unsure. The street is empty, the houses still. Wind blows past them as if to remind them that they’re still there, still not moving. Finally, Donghyuck starts to walk. His shoes brush against the kicked-up dirt of the construction site as he ducks under the caution tape and heads toward the house. Mark hurries after him.

“We really shouldn’t be here,” Mark says. “It’s blocked off for a reason.”

But Donghyuck, once again, ignores him and steps up into the house. It’s more like a wooden outline of the lower floor. They can still see the backyard, the houses on either side, and the street, depending on how they turn. Still, it’s not safe. They shouldn’t be standing in a not-even-half-built home right now.

“They changed the layout,” Donghyuck mutters. “They’ve got the stairs in the wrong spot. And I think that’s supposed to be a bathroom, but it was on the other side.” Glancing up, he wonders, “Do you think the upstairs will be different, too?”

“Maybe your aunt didn’t like the idea of stepping into a house that looked like her sister’s,” Mark suggests.

Donghyuck frowns. “I would have wanted to. I’d have it rebuilt properly. My parents bought the house for a reason. I wouldn’t want to change that. But they don’t care, I guess.”

Reaching out, Mark takes his hand and squeezes it. “I wish I could make it better.”

“You do. You don’t know it, but you do.”

Fluttering fills Mark’s stomach and he looks away, knowing his ears are warm and probably very much red. This is supposed to be a moment for Donghyuck, he chastises. This isn’t supposed to be the time for him to worry about feelings he shouldn’t be having.

“Did you know I used to live on Jeju Island?” Donghyuck asks him suddenly. Mark shakes his head. “Yeah, born there. We didn’t move here until I was about seven, maybe? Mom missed her sister and they wanted to be closer. We used to have barbeques in the back and Jungwoo used to play with me when all the adults got together. He’s always been there. He could have ignored me because I was so much younger than him, but he didn’t.”

“He’s a good cousin,” Mark agrees.

“He’s really more like my brother. I can’t imagine life without him. But with me here, I’m sort of ruining life for him.”

Mark gently pulls on his hand to get his attention because Donghyuck hasn’t been looking at him. He’s been eyeing the structure that wraps around them. “What are you talking about?”

“He thinks I don’t know, but I do,” Donghyuck whispers. “He’s working himself too hard. And he does it because of me. He wants to take me with him when he moves out, so he’s trying to get money, get a good education so he can make more and support us. Me. He’s willing to cut Lucas out of the picture, to devoid himself of happiness, if it means giving me happiness. I don’t want him to do that to himself.”

“Well, he ran off with Lucas about an hour ago, so he’s at least trying,” Mark offers, hoping it’ll ease some of that doubt, but Donghyuck shakes his head.

“I can see it. He won’t hold onto Lucas. Not unless he knows I’m safe and okay. With everything going on, I don’t think it’ll last.” Donghyuck glances at Mark. “I want him to be happy. I want you all to be happy. Maybe me leaving is better.”

“Don’t say that!” Mark practically shouts. He recoils from his own voice. “Please, don’t say that. Donghyuck, you’re part of our life. Having you not in it is…unimaginable. You can’t really think that’s for the best.”

Taking his hand from Mark’s, Donghyuck says, “I do, though. Mark, maybe we should just let this happen, yeah? We can’t really stop it, so why try?”

“Because you don’t want to leave as much as I don’t want you to go. I’m not going to let you go. We’re stuck together. Forever. That’s how this whole best friend thing works.”

“Is it?” Donghyuck asks. “Is that how _best friends_ work?”

Mark stills because there’s something in the way that Donghyuck asks that question that makes his heart jump. He’s not sure where Donghyuck wants him to answer. He takes the best course of action and locks his jaw.

Sighing, Donghyuck rubs at his face before running his fingers through his hair, showcasing all the pastel colors in it. “I have put so many people through hell, Mark. I don’t think I want to continue to do that. I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to ruin anything either. You are,” he takes in a shuddering breath, “one of the best things that ever happened to me. But what if our luck runs out? I don’t know how I’d be able to take that.”

“You won’t ruin us. You’d never let that happen. And neither would I.” It’s the truth, he thinks. It’s one of the very many reasons Mark won’t ever tell Donghyuck about his feelings. Because they can’t ruin this. Whatever _this_ is. “Look, things aren’t great right now.” Donghyuck scoffs. “No, listen. Things aren’t great, but they’ll get better. What happened here, at this house, doesn’t define you and your life, Donghyuck. You do.”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck shakes his head, “burning down my house and murdering my parents seems to be a fairly defining moment to a lot of people. Including my aunt.”

“Your aunt—I’m sorry to say—is a selfish woman, who only thinks about herself. Sure, she lost her sister and that’s horrible. It’s absolutely horrible. But you lost your parents. Hyuck, you didn’t murder them. It was an accident that was completely out of your control. You were sleeping for _god’s sake_. Nothing about that night could have been prevented. The fact that she holds you, a child, against that one night out of everyone’s control is despicable. And I hate that she’s made you think you deserve it. I hate it!”

By the time the words are out, Mark is panting with rage. His fingers form fists, waiting to hit something. Anything. Donghyuck stares at him with round eyes and mouth slightly agape as if he doesn’t recognize Mark, and maybe he has a reason. Mark doesn’t get angry. He doesn’t like to. Frustrated, yes. Angry? That’s not in Mark’s book.

“You,” Mark says, trying to keep his words as calm as he can, “deserve so much more than you think you do. Don’t ruin all the good things life has given you just because you believe you’re not worthy. Because you are.”

Suddenly, there are arms around his neck and the whole front of his body is burning. “Mark Lee, you’re ridiculous,” Donghyuck mutters into his neck. The brush of his breath makes Mark jittery. Regardless, he hugs Donghyuck back. “What am I going to do with you?”

“One thing,” Mark says, “and I’ll never ask for anything ever again.” When he feels Donghyuck nod against his shoulder, he whispers, “Don’t leave me.”

Donghyuck coughs a laugh. “And why would I ever think about doing that?”

Mark lights up from the inside, tightening his hold and squeezing his eyes shut. He buries his nose into the crook of Donghyuck’s neck. If they didn’t have to go anywhere, he’d prefer to stay there forever. He smells like a campfire and mint and Mark really, really likes that.

“We should go,” he says, despite himself. Carefully, he unwraps himself from Donghyuck to give him a smile. “Let’s go, yeah?”

Donghyuck glances back at the wooden walls. “It’s going to be weird to see a new house here.”

“I know.”

“Do you think they did it to spite me? The rebuild? They never even asked.”

Mark tilts his head. “Did you expect them to?”

“No. But it was left to me. I should get a say, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you should.”

Donghyuck purses his lip, eyebrows knitting together. “You’re right. We should go.”

Nodding, Mark starts off back toward their bikes. He ducks under the caution tape and reaches down for his helmet. “We’ll go get ice cream,” he offers. “How about that?”

But when he looks to his side, Donghyuck isn’t there. His heart drops. Spinning around, Mark finds Donghyuck still in the middle of the house, back to him. There’s something about the way he holds himself that has alarms going off in Mark’s head.

“Donghyuck?” he calls. “Donghyuck, come on. We have to go.”

Flames lick at Donghyuck’s fingertips and around his shoes. Ever so slowly, he glances over his shoulder. Mark just barely catches the golden tone to his eyes, barely manages to scream out Donghyuck’s name and take a step forward, before a barrier of fire erupts in front of him and shoots him backward. He stumbles back from the sure heat of it and hits the sidewalk.

Fire wraps around the house, engulfing it. Mark watches in utter terror. Fire has never scared him, but the fact that Donghyuck is in there right now does. He rushes to his backpack and pulls out his phone. His fingers shake as he tries to unlock it and call Jungwoo.

It goes straight to voicemail. “Come on. Come on. Come on!” He looks to the house. He can’t even see Donghyuck anymore. There’s nothing but red, orange, yellow, white, and the occasional flash of blue. It’s so hot that he can feel it even meters away.

“Donghyuck!” he shouts. He doesn’t know why he thinks screaming his name will help. It’s not like it will. He goes back to trying to call Jungwoo. Over and over. He just needs a response. “Please. Fucking pick—”

“Mark?” Jungwoo’s voice comes through, slightly panicked as if he already knows. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, thank god!” Mark can’t control the way his voice comes out. It’s a little high, and a lot hysterical. “Jungwoo, you need to come quick. Now. It’s Donghyuck.”

“Breath and tell me what’s happening.”

Mark stares into the fire, desperate to catch even a glimpse of Donghyuck. “I don’t know how to stop it. You need to come now. He—He just started the fire and I can’t get to him. Jungwoo, I can’t fucking get to him and I don’t know how to talk to him and I’m fucking _terrified_ and you need to come now.”

He’s not sure he’s breathing properly. It’s all shallow and hot air, never quite making it to his lungs before he’s blowing it back out again.

“Where are you?” Lucas asks. Right, Mark remembers, they’re together right now.

“Donghyuck’s old house. Or his new house. I don’t fucking know anymore. Jungwoo, I can’t reach him!”

“I know,” Jungwoo replies. “We’re coming now. You need to make sure no one gets near the fire, understood? And you need to try and calm yourself because that’s what Donghyuck needs. He needs an anchor.”

“Fucking good that’ll do if I can’t get to him because he’s put up fucking barriers.”

Voices appear from behind him and Mark turns to see a few of the neighbors running out of their houses, toward the fire. Before anyone can get close enough, the flames lash out. Everyone stays back. Mark wants to go in. He’s got someone on his right, yelling that the firefighters will be arriving soon and Jungwoo on the phone, telling him to calm down.

All Mark can focus on, however, is trying to get to Donghyuck. This is his fault, he thinks. He should have gotten Donghyuck out when he had the chance. Instead, he let them stay, let Donghyuck’s emotions fester. And he fucking believed him when he said they were leaving. How could have missed that? How could he have been so stupid?

“Donghyuck!” Mark screams.

“Wait, there’s someone inside?” one of the ladies ask and Mark can’t answer her because he has more important things to worry about.

Squealing tires echo across the street and he turns to see Jungwoo’s jeep spinning into view. It comes to an abrupt halt and both Jungwoo and Lucas jump out, not even caring to close the doors. When Jungwoo is close enough, Mark practically flings himself into Jungwoo’s arms.

“We need to get to him,” Mark says in a hurry. “I don’t know how to get to him.”

The fire shoots up, angry and aggressive. The heat is like a slap to the face. Mark thought he knew what heat was, having Donghyuck as a best friend and living in Korea where the summers pretty much melt you, but this is different. This is so much worse.

Flames lash out again and Mark and Jungwoo stumble back. There’s a moment, just a quick second, where Mark sees a figure amongst the raging orange. Then, it’s gone.

Jungwoo grips Lucas’ arm. “We need to get to him.”

“I can teleport in,” he offers.

Shaking his head, Jungwoo says, “No, you could get hurt. Mark, did you call the emergencies?”

“They said they were coming,” he says, remembering briefly about the man who told him so. At his side, his hands open and close, searching for something to grab. He wants to run in. He’s got such an urge to run in.

Once again, screeching gains their attention. There, turning the corner, is a familiar truck. Johnny, Mark thinks as his heart lifts just slightly. And Taeyong. Of course. He must have heard the panic.

Taeyong, red hair everywhere, throws himself out of the car before the truck even comes to a stop. Before Mark knows it, he’s there, taking hold of Mark’s shoulders and yanking him into a hug. “Breathe. In and out. That’s it. It’s okay. Just breathe.”

It’s so much. Just so much. Mark struggles to focus on his voice, but he tries.

“Jungwoo,” Taeyong says, “if we don’t get this stopped now, Donghyuck could be in some serious trouble when the police show up.”

Oh, no. Oh, god no.

“I know. I need water,” Jungwoo says. “Johnny—”

Taeyong moves just slightly, though it’s enough for Mark to see Johnny getting a firm grasp on the fire hydrant and yanking on it. Metal groans rival a roaring fire until it completely gives out, the concrete grumbling into dust in the process. Water erupts like a geyser and everyone shuffles back.

Jungwoo’s only had his powers for a little over a year. Even still, he’s always had some of the best control Mark has ever seen. He throws his hand toward the fire and the water arches high above them, slamming into the half-made walls of the house. Steam fills the air, hissing like a snake. It rolls over them in a wave, coating every inch of their skin. It’s hot and wet and so uncomfortable, but Mark doesn’t want to leave. He can’t leave.

Especially when he finally sees Donghyuck, huddled down in a ball in the middle of the framework. Fire covers the hole Jungwoo’s water made and he’s vanished once again.

“He’s in some kind of trance,” Taeyong says, eyes narrowed toward where Donghyuck supposedly is. “His mind is a mess. I can’t—I can’t get a read.”

“How long has he been here? Shit!” Jungwoo’s concentration must have slipped because the water backfires and snaps back to its original direction; upward out of the ground. It soaks them to the bone as it passes over them. With a growl, he forces it back toward the house. Even from where he is, Mark can see just how much effort and strength it’s taking. Mark isn’t sure how long Jungwoo can last. Which means, he’s going to have to make a very stupid decision.

“Maybe an hour? Two, at most?”

Mark tenses. Was it that long? No, it couldn’t be. Maybe an hour. But maybe Taeyong means the general state of Donghyuck’s mind because even Mark can believe that it’s been a bit of a mess all morning.

“I barely registered it,” Taeyong continues, “until Mark started freaking out. I don’t have that strong of a grip on Donghyuck like I do with you guys. I’m so sorry.”

Mark thinks that Taeyong should fix that. He’s not the one that needs to be watched. It’s Donghyuck. Donghyuck needs all the protection.

“This isn’t your fault,” says Jungwoo. “It’s mine. I knew he was struggling and I did nothing about it.”

“You did what you could,” Taeyong snaps. “Don’t you dare say this is your fault.”

This isn’t helping. He wants to scream. None of this is helping. The water jolts.

“I don’t think I can hold on any longer,” Jungwoo tells them.

Lucas says, “If you can clear a way, I can teleport in there.”

Too much planning.

“No. I told you already, you could get hurt and—”

Mark bolts.

“Shit!” Taeyong shouts. “Mark!”

The heat is incredible the closer he gets to it. He ducks under the caution tape and races to the house. The wall of fire is so bright that it burns his eyes, but he can’t stop. Not now. In a flash, water cuts off in front of him just as he takes a leap straight through the framework.

He hits the floor with a hard thud. It’s clear of fire even though it’s scolding to the touch. Quickly, Mark scrambles to his feet and rushes over to where Donghyuck’s curled himself into a ball. His knees are to his chest, his head down.

“Donghyuck,” he says, getting down in front of him. He hisses the moment his hands touch the top of Donghyuck’s head. It’s like sticking his hand into a bonfire. He can feel his skin blistering. Sweet, acrid air fills his lungs. Coughing, he forces himself to lift Donghyuck’s head. His fingers burn. “Donghyuck, please, look at me. I’m here, okay? I’m right here.”

Donghyuck’s eyelashes flutter. “Mark?”

“Hey,” he whispers, fingers dancing along the side of his face. It’s so hot. “Hey, hey. I’m here. Stay with me, all right?”

“You shouldn’t have come.”

“As if I’d leave you alone. You’ve got to—you’ve got to stop the fire, Hyuck. You hear me? Duckie, you have to stop it.”

Before Donghyuck can open his mouth, there’s a loud crack. Lucas appears beside them, places his hands on both of them and, with another crack, the air is suddenly clearer and the world a little dimmer. Mark cradles Donghyuck to him, refusing to let him go. He doesn’t care that his arms are blistering, or that he’s probably burned off too much skin. Donghyuck needs him.

“It’s okay,” he says into Donghyuck’s ear. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. Everything is going to be okay.”

Behind him, the fire shrinks down, revealing ruined and charred wood of what used to be the base of a house. When he looks back, Donghyuck’s eyes are closed and Mark has a pretty good feeling he’s completely passed out.

Jungwoo scrambles over to them. He touches Donghyuck’s arm, ripping his hand away when he realizes just how hot Donghyuck is burning. He meets Mark’s eyes and Mark tightens his grip and lowers his head over Donghyuck’s.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you. I’m not leaving you.”

*

He doesn’t remember much after that. Just snippets. Refusing to let Donghyuck go, getting into the ambulance with him, people and police asking them questions. It’s all a bit of a blur, to be honest.

Even though Jungwoo is there, right at Donghyuck’s side, Mark refuses to leave until he’s actually shoved out of the room by one of the nurses and into one of the intern’s arms to get himself checked out. He doesn’t even realize how much his arms and hands hurt until that moment. They’re an angry red with spreading blisters from the tips of his fingers to the corners of his elbows.

He ends up in a small room alone, hands shaking from the fall of his adrenaline. His eyes are still sore from the smoke and the sure brightness from being so close to the flames. The white walls of the room stings, so he closes his eyes, wanting to press the heels of his hands to them even though he can’t because of the state of them. He hears the click of the door opening, but keeps his eyes sealed shut. This is helping. This is better.

“Mark?” a soft voice says.

Managing to squint, he sees the familiar form of Kun through his eyelashes before closing his eyes again. He doesn’t flinch when a hand drapes over his eyes, a tingling sensation filling his head and causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. When Kun finally pulls back, Mark’s eyes no longer feel on the verge of crying from the soreness.

“How’s Donghyuck?” he asks.

But Kun shushes him and says, “Let’s get you all fixed and then we’ll talk.”

Mark watches as Kun’s hands lay on the skin of his forearms. He sucks a hiss through his teeth, tempted to shift away. Kun holds on, however, and under his scanning gaze, the tingling sensation comes back and his skin goes from red to pink to his normal pale complexion, blisters receding until it was like they were never there to begin with. Pain subsided, Mark rubs at his arms, feeling the new skin that’s grown back.

Stepping back to pick up a cup of water from the counter, Kun asks, “How are you feeling?”

Mark takes the cup. The water is cold on his throat. “I’m fine. What about Hyuck?”

Kun sighs, though there’s a smile playing at his lips as if he expected this from Mark. And, really, who wouldn’t out of Mark’s friends and acquaintances. It doesn’t matter if Mark is bleeding from his heart; he only cares about how everyone else is.

“He’ll be fine,” Kun tells him. “He’s still unconscious, but there’s nothing physically wrong with him. We’ve got him under the monitor and the doctor will be seeing him soon. Mark, what you did,” he settles a hard gaze on Mark, “was reckless. You could have gotten seriously injured. More injured than you were.”

“He was in there. I couldn’t leave him.”

Kun lifts himself up onto the bed beside Mark and kicks out his feet. Mark’s pretty sure that he’s not supposed to do that.

“You’re extremely lucky that things turned out the way they did. Any wrong turn and you could have wound up dead or Donghyuck could have burned himself out. His fire has limits even if he doesn’t realize it yet. Any hotter and his own fire would have turned on him. He’s lucky to have you to bring him back to reality. Just,” he sighs again, “don’t do it again. You gave everyone a heart attack. I wasn’t even there and when Taeyong told me I wanted to strangle you.”

“I just knew I needed to get in there. He was by himself and, well, he couldn’t be.”

“Don’t let your own love hurt you, Mark. Sometimes, it’s just not worth it.”

But Donghyuck is, he wants to say. Donghyuck is worth it and so much more.

*

By the time he’s allowed to see Donghyuck, it’s late into the evening. From what he’s gathered from Jungwoo, the doctor’s keeping him for a couple days to just make sure everything is in order. He also gets the news that Donghyuck is staying, no more social service threats for the time being, and Mark has to reach out for the wall to keep himself from collapsing in relief.

While Donghyuck is sleeping, Jungwoo decides to grab some dinner and Mark takes his spot. He won’t get to stay long, but he wants to stick around for as long as he can. He listens to the staccato beeps of the monitor and the deep breathing of Donghyuck as he sleeps, hair falling over his face.

Mark carefully brushes it from his forehead, heart heavy. Mark is supposed to be his best friend, he’s supposed to protect Donghyuck from the harms of life and he’s doing a very poor job of it. One day, something is going to fall apart and Mark will be left with no way to put the pieces back together.

Donghyuck stirs, Mark’s fingers still in his hair, and he peeks his eyes open. “Mark?”

“Hey,” he says, taking his hand away. “Evening, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a bus,” he groans and Mark can’t help but laugh. “How are you?”

Lifting up his healed arms, he smiles and says, “Perfectly fine. More worried about you, to be honest.”

Donghyuck’s eyes roll to the ceiling. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Mark tells him. He goes to take Donghyuck’s hand, but Donghyuck slides it away. “Hyuck?”

“I’m so sorry,” he sniffs. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

This time, when he reaches, he manages to actually take Donghyuck’s hand and keep it, despite the fight Donghyuck gives him. “Stop,” he says. “It wasn’t that bad. Kun healed me right up. See? I’m all fine.”

“He shouldn’t have had to heal you, Mark. You should have never gotten burned in the first place. I shouldn’t have started that fire.”

“You were angry. It just happened—”

“That’s the thing,” Donghyuck interrupts, tone hard. “It shouldn’t have happened. I should have better control than this. If I can’t even get angry without lashing out, then what? And then you—” His voice breaks. “Why did you do that? Why did you come back for me?”

Mark tightens his hold on Donghyuck’s hand. “I always will. Hyuck, I don’t blame you for any of it and you shouldn’t either. Things will work out. You’ll learn control. Fire isn’t easy. You’ve always known that.”

“They gave me suppressants. Said it might help,” he mutters.

“They will,” he insists. “We’ll get through this, okay? Together.”

Even with his grip tight, Donghyuck’s is loose, as if hesitant to hold on. He refuses to look at Mark, but Mark doesn’t care. He’s not going to let Donghyuck pull away from him now. Not when, right now, is when he needs the most support. Quietly, he rests his head on the bed and studies Donghyuck’s profile while he gazes up at the empty, white ceiling.

And that’s how Jungwoo finds them, silent and unmoving. Mark leaves about an hour later, promising to see Donghyuck later. He doesn’t get much of a reply and he doesn’t let it bother him.

One way or another, he’s going to get Donghyuck to realize he’s not as dangerous as everyone keeps making him out to be. He’s not a monster. He just needs someone to be there for him, to support him no matter what, and Mark is willing to do that. No matter the cost.

*

While Donghyuck is still at the hospital, Jungwoo puts together a plan to build a treehouse. It’ll serve as a place for Donghyuck to escape to that’s not too far from Jungwoo’s watchful eye, but is all his own. Mark knows Donghyuck will still sneak to his house in the dead of night, but the treehouse will hopefully have its own uses. So, he and Lucas help Jungwoo put it together. They ignore all the steely glares they get from Jungwoo’s mom and dad as they bring in the parts and build it right there in the middle of the backyard.

When it comes time for Donghyuck to finally come home, Mark goes with Jungwoo. While Donghyuck goes inside to change, Mark scoots around the back to try and help Lucas on the final touches of their project. Before Donghyuck can leave out the front door, Mark is there, telling him to close his eyes.

Raising a brow, Donghyuck says, “Why?”

Mark refuses to let Donghyuck be stubborn, so shoves at Donghyuck’s shoulder to turn him around and put his hands over Donghyuck’s eyes. He starts to move him toward the backyard where Jungwoo and Lucas wait. “Trust me?”

“If you lead me into a wall or out into the middle of the street, I’m going to burn you alive.”

The threat isn’t harsh, the edge drifting into playfulness, but Mark’s jaw still drops. Jungwoo snorts by the treehouse, hand in Lucas’. Mark will admit, they’re pretty cute.

“Why would I do that?” Mark asks, trying his best not to sound affronted. “I’m not that mean.”

“Never trust the nice ones,” replies Donghyuck, smoothly. He reaches back to pinch at Mark’s thigh to let him know he’s teasing. “Does anyone want to tell me what this is about?”

Jungwoo shakes his head. “That would ruin the surprise.”

“Was never a fan of surprises,” Donghyuck mutters as they come to a stop. Once Mark’s dropped his hands, Donghyuck turns on him and gives him a shove to the shoulder. “Congrats, you didn’t kill me.” It’s Mark’s time to pinch Donghyuck, in the arm this time, and Donghyuck yelps, “Abuse!”

“Would you actually look at your gift?” Jungwoo asks, reaching forward to take Donghyuck’s shoulders and turn him where he needs to look.

Donghyuck gapes for a beat before rolling his eyes to Jungwoo. “I’m fourteen, not four.”

With a swat to the head, Jungwoo says, “Don’t be rude. We built this.”

Mark watches as the look in Donghyuck’s gaze shifts, pausing ever so slightly. He scans from the ladder to the walls of the treehouse. It’s not anything extremely cool and is slightly crooked in places, but it’s still nice. At least, Mark thinks so. While it’s not the biggest thing in the world, it’s still big enough to squish the group of them inside. Although they might be slightly more on top of each other than they expect to be.

“Built it? While I was in the hospital?” Donghyuck asks.

Jerking his chin, Jungwoo says, “Check it out.”

Shrugging, Donghyuck starts toward the ladder. Mark follows after him, crawling inside so he’s sitting right next to Donghyuck, who keeps eyeing the place as if it has more to offer. He wants to say it’s just wood and nails, that there’s nothing else to explore, but he lets Donghyuck run his hands across the floor and the walls, slightly marveled.

“What do you think?” Mark ventures, pulling his knees to his chest.

“It’s definitely a treehouse,” Donghyuck says. When Mark’s brows furrow, he chuckles and gives Mark a light punch to the shoulder. “Relax. I like it. Just don’t tell Jungwoo that.” His eyes snap to the small window, wrinkling his nose in the process. “Oh, ew. Really?”

Mark has no idea what Donghyuck’s doing. He’s digging into his pocket for something. He shuffles to the window and throws something. From his angle, Mark can just barely see the tiny item hit Jungwoo on the back of the head, causing him to break the kiss he’d pulled Lucas into. Donghyuck hangs himself out the window with a smirk on his face.

“No PDA,” he orders.

Jungwoo points at him. “One day, when you have a partner, I’m going to make sure they see all your embarrassing baby photos and knows all your humiliating stories. Unless,” his gaze snaps to Mark, who’s hiding behind Donghyuck, “of course, they already know them all.”

Mark goes hot from his ears to his chest from Jungwoo’s secret smile. God, if Jungwoo knows about Mark’s crush then he’s definitely screwed.

Tilting his head, Donghyuck asks, “Why would they already know?”

Well, he thinks, as long as Donghyuck’s still in the dark then maybe he’s still safe.

“You wouldn’t, anyway,” Donghyuck continues with a wave of his hand. “Otherwise I would have to tell Lucas about all _your_ humiliating moments. Right?”

Lucas winks at Donghyuck as Jungwoo says, “You’re the devil.”

From his peripheral, he can see Donghyuck grin, every part of it screaming wicked. It sets off a sparkler in Mark’s chest and he has to look away. He’s tempted to get out of the treehouse, just to get some air, but Jungwoo and Lucas decide to leave them and Donghyuck glances at him in a way that makes him stay.

“You okay?” Donghyuck asks, flicking his fringe from his eyes. It’s getting a bit too long and Mark wants to run his fingers through it and cut it all off at the same time. “You look a bit red.”

Nodding, he shifts so he’s leaning against the wall. He’s a little too tall to stretch his legs out completely and his knees are slightly bent when he presses his shoes against the wall. Donghyuck sits cross-legged right next to him, his body brushing Mark’s as he bends over to look into Mark’s downturned eyes.

“Fine,” he replies. “I’m fine. How are you? Glad to be out of the hospital?”

Donghyuck hums, rocking backward slightly. “Hospital or here? Neither seem like a win to me.”

“Few more years and you can move out.”

Donghyuck’s voice is distant, maybe even a little tired, when he says, “Can’t wait.”

Running his eyes over the blank walls, Mark says, “We should have painted it or something.”

“What color would you have painted it?”

“Yellow,” he answers, almost immediately. “Like those sunflowers you like. Or purple. You’ve always liked purple even though you tell everyone you hate it.”

“Makes more sense for me to like red or something,” Donghyuck says as he props his chin in his hand, elbow balanced on his knee. “Maybe orange.”

“Your favourite color doesn’t have to do with your powers,” he says with a snort. “We could paint it purple if you want.”

Donghyuck shrugs. “I don’t mind the blank walls.”

“You would.” Mark receives a shove to the shoulder. “Hey, don’t abuse me. I built you a treehouse. I should only be getting compliments.”

“You’re right, oh amazing one.” Mark instantly regrets what he’s said the moment Donghyuck tone lifts into something a bit more spirited and impish. Locking his arms around Mark’s shoulders from the side, he blows in Mark’s ear—just to get him to jump—and laughs. “You are very talented and I bow down to your treehouse building skills.”

“Oh, get off me,” he groans, trying to get Donghyuck to let go.

Even when his arms slip away, Donghyuck stays close. “You may be right, though. Maybe it needs something. Maybe I should carve my name into the side or something. ‘Donghyuck was here’, you know?”

“That sounds original,” Mark tells him with a smile. “I thought you’d be more creative than that.”

“Want me to use a fake name or something?”

“Like a superhero name?”

Donghyuck throws his head back and laughs. The sunlight that filters through the small window hits against his face, lightening it up gold. It’s kind of beautiful. “Everyone knows superheroes are overrated.”

“Still needed, though,” Mark argues. Although, he has to admit he does it just for the sake of it. It’s not like he really thinks they’re needed that much. They’re like athletes. Slightly overpaid and not necessarily a requirement to everyday life. There were times, when Mark was really young, that he thought about doing something like that, but the dream fell through when he got his powers. “Didn’t you ever think about having a superhero identity? One of those silly names?”

Pursing his lips, Donghyuck picks at the rip in his pants. “Not really. My dad always told me the real heroes didn’t need masks or fancy names. Anyone can be a hero or villain when ninety-percent of the world population has powers. Why have them?”

“Maybe,” he agrees, quietly. “You could be, like, Fireboy or something.”

Donghyuck makes a face. “Fireboy? That is horrible. No, I’m not being called Fireboy. What even—No, you know what? I need something better than that. Like Pyro or The Torch.”

“I’m pretty sure Pyro and The Torch are already copyrighted. You’ll have to try for something else, I think.”

“Fine, what would you pick? And no Fireboy.”

Mark smiles, resting his head back against the wall to think. “Something about the sun, maybe? Like, I don’t know, Solar Flare? Sol? Full Sun? Wait,” he sits up, “what about Haechan?”

Slowly, Donghyuck’s eyebrow raises. “Haechan? Hm, not bad, I guess. Could be worse.”

“Wow.”

“No, really,” he says. “Much better than _Fireboy_.”

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

Smirking, he leans in to whisper, “Never.”

Then, he slides even close. Mark subconsciously brings his legs in, so Donghyuck can take a spot in front of him, hands on Mark’s knees. He grins all the while, not even realizing how much warmth he’s spreading through his fingertips. Something blooms in Mark’s chest when he catches Donghyuck’s eyes.

“What?” he breathes, not trusting to use his voice at full volume.

“Well, if I get a name,” he points at Mark, “then you need one, too. What’s that god’s name? The one that deals with dreams?”

“In Greek mythology? Hypnos?”

Donghyuck nods. “That one. You should use that name. It suits you and your power.”

“So, I’m a god now?” Mark jokes and Donghyuck pinches his thigh. “Ow! Okay, fine. Fine. I like it. Haechan and Hypnos, then.”

“Do you have a knife?” Donghyuck asks, suddenly, and Mark blinks. “Well? Do you?”

Mark points toward the ladder. “In the toolbox, maybe?”

“Go get it,” Donghyuck orders.

Like any other time in his life, Mark does as he’s told. He slips from the treehouse, down the ladder to the slightly rusted toolbox they left on the yard with all the extra pieces they didn’t use for the treehouse. After digging around, he comes across a pocket knife. When he gets back, Donghyuck is brushing off part of a section of the wall. He holds out his hand for Mark to drop the knife into.

With a scary ease, Donghyuck snaps the knife open and begins to carve into the wood. The scraping of metal on wood rings in Mark’s ears. After a minute, Donghyuck leans back, running his hand over whatever he’s etched into the wall.

Mark peers closer. The name Haechan rests just below the name Hypnos and he smiles to himself. “Superhero names aren’t so bad, huh?”

He gets a shrug in response. Then, Donghyuck takes the knife and jams it into his thumb. Mark yelps for him and snatches at his wrist. It’s too late, though. Blood is already beading.

“What the heck, Hyuck?” he hisses, twisting Donghyuck’s hand to get a better look at it. “What are you doing?”

Shaking off Mark’s hold, Donghyuck says, “Relax. It’s just a little prick. It’ll be sealed over by tomorrow. I just think this needs something a little extra.” He presses his bloody thumb to the spot beside his name. “There. Your turn.”

“What? No!” Mark puts his hands behind his back, away from Donghyuck and away from the knife. “I’m not letting you stab me.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. The blade of the knife glints, the tip still red. “I’m not stabbing you. Come on, Mark. Don’t be a wuss.”

Mark thinks that Donghyuck looks even more dangerous like this: knife waving in his hand, grin soaked with mischief, and eyes gold in the sunlight. Somehow, still, he lets Donghyuck talk him into it. Donghyuck cradles his hand in his own and presses the tip of the knife into the bed of his thumb. The pain is sharp, but doesn’t last long.

With a sigh, he leaves his fingerprint next to his nickname and then sticks his thumb in his mouth despite how unhygienic is. Copper coats his taste buds. The things he does for this boy dripping in gold and fire.

“See? Not so bad,” Donghyuck says, closing the knife and setting it off to the side. “There. Now, it’s our place. At least until the other three find out and they force us to add them.”

Donghyuck moves so he’s leaning against the opposite wall, facing Mark. There’s a space between them that wasn’t there earlier and Mark eyes it, wary. There had been a split second, when Donghyuck touched him, when Mark was sure whatever distance Donghyuck was forcing on them in the hospital room was gone. Now, however, Donghyuck’s staring out the window, hands shoved into his pockets, and the distance wide enough that Mark can’t even feel his warmth anymore.

A sinking feeling settles in his stomach and Mark worries that maybe, just maybe, that guilt still rests on Donghyuck’s shoulders, no matter how much he pretends everything is okay.

“Hypnos and Haechan,” Donghyuck murmurs. “What a peculiar pair.”

It is, Mark thinks. But no matter how peculiar it is, no matter how many times they lift and fall, they work. Not even Donghyuck can deny that with burden-heavy shoulders and a haze of personal-blame.

*

When Chenle turns fifteen, they gather at his house for a party. It’s more like a sleepover, but the majority refuse to call it that because, well, they’re teenagers, not children. Jaemin started the whole thing, telling Chenle that he’d be too tired to go home and would need to steal one of Chenle’s many couches. The others were quick to follow and Chenle welcomed them with a broad grin and seal-claps.

No matter how well Mark knows someone, he’s always been terrible at picking out presents. At least he can take comfort in the fact that all the rest of his friends—other than Jeno—are just as bad. Of course, Chenle expects nothing less from them all and he jokes his way through the saddest birthday gifts one could ever get, complete with a head massager and a new pair of socks.

The thing about Chenle, though, is that he wholeheartedly loves each thing he gets. Mark thinks it might have something to do with the fact that Chenle never really had friends until he was thirteen, when his parents finally allowed him to go to public school, and met Jisung. After being homeschooled and lonely for years, he probably finds the whole thing absolutely amazing. It’s kind of cute.

What’s even cuter is that Chenle really does put a lot of stock into the small things in life despite the fact that he could snap his fingers and get anything he could ever want. The boy is rich; old money and new money combined. Sometimes he doesn’t even realize that people don’t have three pairs of Airpods or a garage full off Teslas.

And, when they’re hanging out, it’s sometimes easy to forget that Chenle is from a well-off family—even though sometimes things slip from his mouth that show his status—because he’s just a normal kid. He loves to laugh, to dance, to sing, to play. Chenle is basically an energizer bunny personified on good days, which happen a lot. However, there are times when it isn’t so easy to forget.

Like today. In Chenle’s gated community, inside his way-too-large mansion of a home, inside his home game room. That’s right, a whole game room. The projection screen is pulled down and the boys are spread out over the couches and the floor while Donghyuck, Chenle, and Jeno go at each other in one of the newest video games that Mark’s not even sure is out yet.

He sits on one of the couches, Jaemin laying so that his head is in Mark’s lap. Despite his rather calm posture, he keeps shouting orders at Jeno with full power. Mark keeps having to hold onto him so he doesn’t roll off the couch every time he gets a little too into the situation. At one point, Mark glances up and finds Donghyuck snapping his eyes back to the screen. Mark kind of wants to remove his hands from Jaemin, but doesn’t know where else to put them.

“Psst,” Jaemin hisses, making Mark look at him. In a quiet voice, a little difficult to hear over everyone’s shouts, he asks, “Have you talked to Hyuck, yet?”

“About what?”

“About your,” Jaemin’s eyes flick to the others and then back to Mark, “cru—”

Mark slams a hand down on Jaemin’s mouth. A squeal escapes him, muffled but still loud, and he flounders in Mark’s lap. 

“Hey, don’t kill Jaemin,” Jeno calls from the other side of the room where he’s stretched out across the floor. “I need him to take over in a few minutes.”

“Because you’re being absolutely destroyed?” Donghyuck inquires. Jeno kicks him. “Hey! Ow!”

Shoving Mark’s hand off him, Jaemin manages to sit himself up and whispers, “Geez, spaz. I was just asking. It’s been, like, what? A year since you realized you actually liked him? You’re seventeen. Grow a pair.”

“Shut up, Jaemin. Now isn’t the time,” he says through gritted teeth.

Okay, so, he’s right. It’s been a pretty long time since Mark’s actually accepted the fact that his little crush is more like a big crush. Maybe more of a ‘I really like you’ kind of crush instead of a ‘I think you’re pretty and just want to look at you but I don’t really have any feelings just yet’ crush. Running into a fire about a year ago really should have been the most obvious indicator if anything.

Still, he refuses to say anything. As much as Mark likes to think that Donghyuck wouldn’t push him away regardless of his feelings, Mark also knows that it would cause some tension that neither of them need. They’re so set in their ways. Their relationship—friendship, really—is what it is and Mark doesn’t think there’s a need to mess that up. Seventeen or not.

Unfortunately for him, Jaemin doesn’t think that way. He’s been complaining since the moment he confronted Mark about his possible feelings for Donghyuck. Why? Mark has no idea. It isn’t like it’s hurting anyone. It isn’t like it’s awkward and causing issues in the group. Perhaps, Mark thinks, Jaemin’s simply projecting. His own feelings for Jeno are definitely much worse than Mark’s for Donghyuck and so, instead of taking his own advice and confessing, he’s focusing in on Mark.

Lovely.

“You did not just shoot me in the back!” Jeno shouts, launching himself at Donghyuck, who lets out a manic laugh and pathetically fights him off. Chenle jumps on top of them, creating a sort of doggy-pile that Mark really doesn’t want to get into.

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that they won’t be kids for long. They’re going to grow and enter the adult world. Mark faster than any of them. He hates that the most. He hates having to leave them behind when he really has no choice to.

They all have each other. He knows that. Even if Jisung will trail behind, much like Mark leads the front, he’ll have Chenle to turn to, who would never leave him. They aren’t in the same sort of situation Mark and Donghyuck were when they were their age. Not to mention, that they’ve already gone through one year of separation and it made no difference. This year, Jisung will finally be joining them in the halls of high school. No, he notes, they’ll be fine.

And then there’s Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck. The four of them will always be together, the four of them moving in life as a sure force of nature. Mark knows they’ll be okay even if he has to leave and move on. Even if this has happened before, when Mark moved onto high school, and the rest were in middle school, this is slightly different because they’re learning how to not be so dependent on him and on each other. Jeno and Renjun will pick up where Mark left off and Jaemin will keep the young ones in place. They’ll find a job to keep them busy.

Donghyuck will be fine, too. He’ll figure it out just as he always does, with genius street smarts and sure dumb luck. Still, Mark hates leaving him the most because Donghyuck is different. He’ll always be different. They click together like puzzle pieces and every time he leaves it’s like dislodging a piece of himself.

Maybe he’s being overdramatic, but it’s the truth. He’s kind of terrified to leave high school, terrified that whatever happened three years ago will happen again. Mark’s not sure he can handle that. Of course, he has no idea how Donghyuck feels about the situation. Once again, he tries to pretend the inevitable isn’t only a year away. 

His eyes fall on Donghyuck. He’s successfully managed to weasel himself from under Jeno and Chenle and now stands over them, laughing and smiling. His newly dyed red hair is ruffled, parts of it sticking up as if it’s flames licking for the ceiling. Mark remembers seeing it for the first time and just stopping mid-step, taking in the red hair and the tan skin and thinking, _wow_ , he’s really kind of beautiful.

 _Fuck_ , Mark, stop it.

Jaemin squeaks and it’s only then that Mark’s realized that he’s gripped Jaemin’s wrist a little too hard. He takes his hand back with a guilty smile. Rubbing at his wrist, Jaemin raises an eyebrow, eyes sliding to Donghyuck as if he just _knows_ what Mark’s been thinking. That’s the thing about Jaemin: he’s not observant until he is, and when he is, he sees all.

“Who wants cake?” Chenle asks, finally crawling off Jeno to flop between Jisung and Renjun.

“Is that a rhetorical question?” shoots back Donghyuck from where he’s dropped to the floor.

Chenle laughs, loud and high, and leaps off the couch, grabbing Jisung’s hand in the process, and races from the room with a, “Be right back!”

“Should he be getting his own cake?” Mark inquires.

Donghyuck snorts. “Five bucks says the butler will carry it in.”

“Call.”

Mark’s smile drops when Jaemin puts his chin on Mark’s shoulder and whispers, “Don’t think our conversation is over.”

“It is,” he hisses through his teeth. “Very much over. Now, stop it.”

“Hey, Jeno, do you think they’ll stop flirting anytime soon? Or are we going to have to pry them apart?”

Donghyuck’s voice causes Mark’s attention to snap to him. Just like it always does. Like a paperclip to a magnet. It’s kind of pathetic, he notes. Well, being whipped is kind of pathetic and that’s exactly what he is. There’s no way they don’t all see it, too. He just hopes Donghyuck doesn’t.

Then again, if Jaemin sees all, Donghyuck knows all and more. He doesn’t even need to see to know. His intuition surpasses anything Mark’s ever seen before. But, _god_ , he’s still holding on to that hope that Donghyuck has a blind spot.

Jeno smiles, eyes turning into perfect crescents, but doesn’t say anything. Mark wonders if Jaemin can see the way Jeno looks at him, lips twitching as if they can’t hold their form. Trying to create some space, Mark shifts so he’s leaning on the armrest of the couch.

“No flirting here,” Jaemin says, flicking his hair from his eyes. “Mark can’t flirt to save his life.”

Mark chokes on his own spit. “Excuse you! I can flirt just fine.”

“Whatever you say, Markie.”

He brushes off Jaemin’s hand when it comes up to pat at his shoulder patronizingly. Okay, so, Mark isn’t the best flirter, but he’s not going to let them pick on him. Somehow, being the oldest has made him a target for pranks and taunts. In this group, it’s not a position for respect. Not that Mark generally minds. It’s just that he’s also come to the conclusion that sometimes he has to give just as much as he gets, especially with Donghyuck as a best friend.

The door opens and in comes Chenle, Jisung, and, sure enough, a butler with a cake. Donghyuck snaps his fingers at Mark before rubbing them together. Honestly, Mark should know better than to bet against him.

Lights turn off and they crowd around the coffee table that got shoved to the side to make more room for the boys to crash on the floor. Donghyuck lights the candles with the tip of his finger. It’s a mess after that. They all sing at different pitches and speeds. The only one trying to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ normally is Renjun. Jisung’s mumbes his way through, more distracted by Donghyuck than anything else, who’s gone an octave above everyone just to screech for the heck of it. Jaemin’s slowed it down to something like a death march, being the last one to drag out a very long and final note. Jeno tries. He really tries, but he catches Mark’s eye about halfway through and all they can do is laugh.

Chenle can barely get his breath together to blow out the candles and Mark is pretty sure Donghyuck helps him out by snagging the last candle of its flames. Cake is distributed around, Chenle getting the biggest piece because he’s the birthday boy.

They end up going back to their original places, though Renjun has stolen the entire third loveseat for himself, forcing Jisung and Chenle to sit together on the second one and Mark and Jaemin on the first. Jeno and Donghyuck take the floor once again, right next to their controllers. The game is frozen on the pause screen.

“Play for me,” Chenle says to Jisung as he passes over the controller. There’s frosting on his lips and his tongue is stained blue. “Make sure you take out Donghyuck.”

“Yah!” Donghyuck shouts, twisting around to slap Chenle on the knee. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I’m on the winning side.”

“Whose side do you think I am?”

Jeno chuckles. “The losing side?”

“Says the guy I just killed three levels in a row,” Donghyuck quips. “Let’s see if your bite is as bad as your bark.”

“I want to play,” Jaemin puts in. “Save me a game. After my cake, though. Cake comes first.”

Jeno waves his controller. “You can take mine after. Mark, you want to play?”

“Nah,” he says, putting his plate on the side table. “I’m good to watch.”

“Probably a good thing. Mark would just die,” Donghyuck comments.

Mark hates the fact that Donghyuck is just too far away to kick, so he settles for a pouty-glare and says, “Hey, I’ve gotten better.”

“Just a bit,” Donghyuck finally agrees. “I’ll give you that.”

“I like how no one asks me if I want to play,” says Renjun.

Jeno turns on him. “I asked you hours ago and you flat out refused.”

“Well, maybe I changed my mind.”

“Did you?”

“No, but it still would have been nice to ask,” Renjun says, smacking Jeno upside the head.

They start up the game again and Mark watches them more than the actual game. It’s kind of funny because Jeno doesn’t look like the type to get aggressive or competitive. Sure, he has the strong build and the height, so he should be intimidating, but when he smiles everything turns soft. He’s generally a calm person. Put him in a game and he goes all out. There’s hidden aggression and untamed wild that shocks Mark every time.

Jisung and Chenle are much the same. While there’s still a need to show who’s the best, still an urge to knock their older friends down a peg, they mainly play to simply play. When they lose, they still mutter a few complaints, but otherwise just give it up and laugh about it.

Donghyuck, though? He’s the commentator. He’s the one that talks through the whole thing and it’s a distraction tactic. He gets the other player thinking about his words more than what they’re trying to do. Mark’s struggled against that for years. Not to mention, he cheats. Donghyuck outwardly cheats and makes it known he’s doing so, and that makes it just a little bit too hard to be mad at him about it because, well, you should have known.

He gets an elbow to the ribs and he glances at Jaemin. He’s watching Mark with those all-knowing eyes again, as if he can reach into Mark’s brain and pull out every piece of information he wants. He can’t, but it sure as heck feels like it, and Mark inches away nonetheless.

“What?” he asks, a little tiredly. Even if he doesn’t want to think it, he knows what Jaemin wants. Jaemin’s doing that hyperfocus thing he does, where he fixates on one thing he finds curious or worrisome and continues to poke and prod until he’s gotten to the bottom of it.

Jaemin’s eyes flick to their friends and then back to Mark. “Can I talk to you alone?”

“Why?”

“Because I want to.” Jaemin smiles, all teeth, and it’s sharp. Mark takes the warning with a sigh and nods. “Beautiful!” Jumping up from the couch, he takes hold of Mark’s arm and practically drags him toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Renjun asks, sitting up to peer over the back of the couch at them.

“To make out,” states Jaemin, nudging the door open.

Mark thinks Jisung’s face turns a pale green before he gags and Mark thinks, same, kid, same. But he can’t gag or refute because he’s kind of just stunned, to be perfectly honest. He throws wide eyes onto Jaemin, who’s grinning as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.

“Unless anyone cares,” Jaemin continues as he pauses on the threshold. “Anyone?”

Shaking his head, Renjun drops back into his laying position to watch the game. Jeno’s character instantly dies, blown up by one of the enemy’s bombs. He refuses to look away from the screen as Donghyuck runs into the fray with Jisung right on his heels.

“Donghyuck?” Jaemin tries and Mark makes a noise in the back of his throat, hoping it translates to: Oh my god, Jaemin, shut up!

“Hmm?” Sneaking a glance at them, Donghyuck says, “Oh, no. Go at it for all I care. Just keep it out of my face.”

When he turns back to the screen, there’s a tenseness to his shoulders that wasn’t there before. Mark doesn’t get time to question it because Jaemin is yanking him out into the hallway and toward another room. They slip inside. It’s one of the guest rooms, Mark assumes. Mostly because it’s too perfect, too manicured, and has absolutely no personality to it. Kind of like a hotel room. Chenle has a lot of these rooms around. Of course, Mark is sure that they won’t find themselves in these kinds of rooms tonight, settling for the game room and the couches in the living room a few doors down.

Closing the door, Jaemin spins on Mark, jaw set. “You’re not planning on telling him, are you?”

Mark groans, running his hand through his blond hair. Donghyuck decided he wanted to test out his skills on someone else and Mark was his somewhat-willing subject. At least, he thinks, it’s natural enough looking on him. “This again? God, Jaemin. Can’t you let it go?”

He starts for the door, but Jaemin continues to block it. “Stop. We need to talk about this.”

“And why’s that?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why are you so set on this?”

“Because we’re both going through the same thing and if we can’t talk to each other than who can we talk to?”

The words ram into his chest at full speed and Mark actually takes a step back. Even if he doesn’t want to admit it, Jaemin is right. Mark hasn’t really spoken to anyone about his feelings. Sure, he’s mentioned it slightly, just a taste of a confession, but nothing fully completed. He supposes he never really felt the need to because Jaemin _knows_. Why reiterate it?

But apparently, Jaemin needs to talk about it. Maybe not even just about Mark, but about himself. Just like Mark’s feelings for Donghyuck, Jaemin’s feelings for Jeno are sort of just common knowledge. It’s something they’ve simply accepted, no questions asked. Turns out, Jaemin wants those questions asked.

Sighing, he goes to the bed and sits down. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“How am I supposed to get the courage to confess if you can’t even do it?” Jaemin inquires, putting his hands out as if he wants to shake Mark.

“Why are you basing your life off of mine?”

“Because if you can’t do it than what am I supposed to do?”

Mark doesn’t mean to laugh, he really doesn’t, but it just comes out. “Nana, Jeno and Donghyuck are completely different people. You have much better luck at getting Jeno to say yes than I am to get Donghyuck to. Trust me, don’t wait for me to make a move. If you want to ask Jeno out, just do it.”

“I can’t.” Jaemin buries his face in his hands and leans against the door. “Urgh, I was hoping you would do it first! Why won’t you just tell him?”

“Because the only good that’ll do is mess up our friendship and I’d really rather not screw with that,” Mark admits. “Besides, I haven’t really…Haven’t really figured out my feelings yet. What would I even tell him? ‘By the way, Hyuck, I might really like you in a non-platonic sort of way’?”

“Better than just sitting there pretending you aren’t checking him out when you totally are,” Jaemin points out and Mark’s ears go hot. “And what do you mean you haven’t figured it out? What the heck does that mean?”

“It means,” he presses, “I haven’t figured it out, all right? It’s like a crush, I guess. I think a lot of stuff, Nana, and none of it really makes any sense, so I’m still figuring it out.”

“Well, figure it out faster! What are you going to do if Donghyuck suddenly decides to start dating someone? Like you did with Yuna—”

“Yeri,” Mark corrects.

“I don’t actually care. What I do care about is the fact that you’re suffering and you can’t even see that because you’re living inside your head. How about you try listening to your heart for once and let it decide how you feel?”

Rolling his eyes, Mark says, “You say that as if it’s easy.”

“It is, Mark. You just don’t want it to be. And you—”

The door opens and Jaemin is bumped aside. Renjun sticks his head in, eyes flicking between Mark and Jaemin as if he’s calculating the very large distance between them. Supposedly accepting the situation, he steps in and closes the door behind him.

“Oh, good. I’m glad you were lying about making out,” he says, moving across the room to sit next to Mark.

Jaemin asks, “What are you doing here?” the same time Mark squeaks, “Of course, we weren’t making out!”

Like he would, Renjun focuses less on Mark’s defensiveness and more on Jaemin’s curiosity. “I’m here because I know what you guys are talking about and it’s much more interesting than that game they’re playing. And the atmosphere in there is stifling now that you two have left. I think your announcement threw them off.”

“You know about what?” Mark inquires, eyes flicking to Jaemin.

“Your overly pitiful crush on Donghyuck and Jaemin’s undying love for Jeno,” Renjun states as if it were nothing more than the weather.

While Mark nearly dies from inhaling too much air, Jaemin doesn’t seem all that surprised. And maybe Mark shouldn’t be either. He suspected Renjun knew because, well, he had been there the day Jaemin confronted him in the food court. Regardless of that, Renjun isn’t stupid. He would have put two and two together far faster than Mark could tell him straight out.

“I’m glad I’m pitiful,” Mark mutters, rubbing his fingers into his temple. “God, could this get any worse?”

“Jisung and Chenle could know,” Renjun offers. “They don’t, by the way. And I think Jeno at least guesses you might like Donghyuck a bit, but I haven’t talked to him about it.”

“He knows,” puts in Jaemin. When Mark shoots him a look, he adds, “What? Sometimes you and Donghyuck are the topic of conversation.”

Mark rubs at his face because he’s fairly certain it’s completely red now. “Why? Guys, nothing is going to happen. Can we just move on?”

“How do you know nothing is going to happen?” Renjun asks.

“How about because I know Donghyuck and he doesn’t like me like that. In fact, he’s never shown interest in anyone. I know he likes guys, but he’s never once talked to me about it. If he doesn’t go for any guy around him, why would he go for me?” Mark shakes his head. “No, I’ll just have to get over it.”

“Get over it?” Jaemin laughs. “Mark, you’ve been liking Donghyuck since you met him. Don’t even try to argue with me. You call it a crush, but I don’t think it is anymore. It’s moved past appreciation and moved straight into infatuation.”

“Kind of hit obsession on the way,” augments Renjun. “I mean, you don’t take your eyes off him. Unless he’s looking at you.”

“That’s such a lie—”

“Is it? Before I asked you to come with me, you were watching him. Sometimes, you glance at other people, but your attention always goes to him. Always. It’s cute, in a sad-puppy sort of way.”

Mark deflates. “You two sure know how to make a guy feel better.”

“We’re just saying that maybe it’s time you took this seriously. Mark, this isn’t a kid’s crush anymore. You’re seventeen. This has been going on for _years_. Don’t you think that it might be something a little more now?”

Renjun nods. “I agree with Jaemin. You should really think about it. We aren’t trying to rush you, but—”

“We’re trying to rush you,” Jaemin continues and Renjun picks up one of the decorative, circle pillows and whips it at Jaemin’s head. “Sorry! Sorry, okay, no. No rushing. Just a gentle nudge. We’re just worried. We hate seeing you so…”

“Pathetic?” Renjun supplies. Jaemin tosses the pillow back, but Renjun just catches it. “Fine. We just want you happy, Mark. This isn’t making you happy. You’re tolerating what you have.”

“I’m accepting reality. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Sometimes,” Renjun says, slowly, gazing at Mark and then to Jaemin as if he’s addressing both with his upcoming words, “it’s better to hope than to accept less. One day, your feelings are going to come out into the open. You have to be ready for that.” He points at Mark. “You’ve picked a boy who can spot a lie before it even leaves someone’s lips. You really think he won’t figure out you like him? And you,” he directs his finger to Jaemin, “have picked a boy who will love you no matter what and will continuously make you fall in love with him. You really think you can just ignore it and never say anything? You won’t last.”

In a way, Mark knows Renjun is right. They’ve both set themselves up in positions they may never be able to back out of. Jeno’s friendship with Jaemin means everything. He’ll love Jaemin until Jaemin decides he doesn’t want to be loved, and that will never happen. And Mark knows his time is limited. He won’t stay off the radar for long. Donghyuck is too smart for his own good and for Mark’s terrible luck.

“Looks like you two have something to think about,” Renjun says, standing and brushing off the non-existent dust from his sweatpants. “We should all get back before they come searching for us.”

Even when Renjun leaves, the door still wide open, Jaemin and Mark stay. They look to each other. Out of the whole group, they’re the only ones that truly understand each other. And they know, just from one look, that neither of them is going to find this easy.

Jaemin is hesitant, though Mark isn’t sure why because it’s totally obvious that Jeno likes him back. Unfortunately, Mark also knows what it’s like to deny and second-guess. Jaemin’s doing just that. Mark hopes that something will happen to finally kickstart them into gear. They both deserve happiness and their perfect happiness is each other.

“We’ll get through this,” Jaemin says, voice quiet. “We will. We’ll figure it out. Because we always do.”

Mark nods. “We’ve got each other’s backs.” Rising to his feet, he says, “Come on, Nana, let’s head back.”

No one says anything when they finally get back and settle into the couch. The game doesn’t pause, no one raises any questions, but Mark catches Donghyuck watching them sit together before noticing Mark’s gaze and turning back to the screen. For yet another time, Mark wonders what he’s thinking. Too bad he’s too scared to ask.

*

By the time the clock hits one in the morning, Renjun is already passed out on the couch. It’s definitely not surprising considering, out of all of them, he has the most solid schedule and staying up late does not fit into that. He falls asleep, completely knocked out. Nothing is going to wake him up unless someone tries to prank him. Then he’s got a sixth sense. Donghyuck’s been on the bad end of that before.

Chenle, even though he fights it with all his strength, is the next to droop. Once his head hits Jisung’s shoulder, they decide to call it a night. With the help of Jeno and Jaemin, they lay Chenle down on the couch and tell Jisung to take the third. That leaves Jeno, Jaemin, Donghyuck, and Mark to find places to go to.

The original plan was for them to take over the living room as well, but it only has two couches and both Jeno and Jaemin claim them a little too fast for Mark to react to.

“There’s more couches,” Jeno says, stretching out. Donghyuck bats him in the stomach with his fist, causing him to yelp. “Hey! I got here first!”

“Whatever,” Donghyuck mutters.

Jaemin glances at Mark and raises his brows. “There’s the bedroom. It should fit you both.”

Mark blanches. “What about the other living room?”

“It’s on the second floor, but Chenle promised to keep everyone in the same area. I don’t think you should be wandering.” There’s a glint in his eye that Mark doesn’t like, despite the fact that his voice is calm. “Should be fine, right? You guys have shared a bed before.”

Well, yes. They have. But those are nights Donghyuck is too in his head and Mark is too tired and neither of them really notice how close they come together or how tight they hold onto each other. Both of them are of pretty sound of mind right now. Not to mention that Mark is now completely awake. He’s not sure he’s going to sleep tonight.

“—ark? Mark!”

He blinks out of it when a hand waves in front of his face. Donghyuck frowns, lips downturned as he lowers his hand. There’s something there, in his expression, that Mark can’t quite put his finger on it.

Turning away, Donghyuck says, “Let’s go,” and leaves the room, bag over his shoulder.

Mark stares after him, not really sure what to do. So, he guesses they’re doing this. His heart shakes and he shoves his hands into his hoodie pocket, linking shaky fingers together to try and calm his nerves. Goodness, it shouldn’t be this hard.

“What are you still doing here?” Jaemin hisses. “Go after him!”

That gets him going. He speed-walks his way out of the room, hitting the lights on his way out so Jeno and Jaemin are left in the dark. Donghyuck’s down the hall, eyeing all the closed doors. When he hears Mark close the door to the living room, he turns and points vaguely over his shoulder.

“Any idea which one it is?”

Mark nods, stepping around him to open the door he and Jaemin had gone through hours earlier. It’s silly, but the room feels different now that Donghyuck’s in there with him.

“Wow, found this quick,” Donghyuck comments, dropping his bag near the bed.

Following his lead, Mark does the same thing. “This is the room Jaemin found earlier. When we left.” Donghyuck runs his fingers over the sheets, refusing to look up at Mark. “We didn’t actually make out.”

Donghyuck’s eyes snap up. “I know.”

“Oh?”

His lips pull into a smirk. “You forget that I know what you look like after you’ve made out with someone. Yeri, remember?”

Mark stutters. “R-Right. Right. I forgot.”

Well, this is awkward. Not sure what else to say, Mark lets Donghyuck leave for the bathroom first. That’s fine. It gives him time to try to figure out what the heck is going on inside his head—and maybe even his heart. This shouldn’t be as strange as it feels. There’s just something about being in a room like this, one that resembles a hotel room with a queen-sized bed and nice furniture and even nicer sheets. It’s so different from his single bed back in his childhood room.

Groaning, he puts his head in his hands. He shouldn’t be worrying so much. It isn’t like he’s going to do anything or that Donghyuck is going to do anything. They’re going to sleep. In the same bed. Which they do probably a lot more than they should. Logically, he knows this is fine. His heart, however, is having a heyday with it.

Splashing cold water on his face does nothing to calm his nerves, and when he comes back from the bathroom to see Donghyuck under the sheets, hands tucked up under his chin and eyes closed, Mark can’t help but feel overloaded. Unlike his boisterous and mischievous self during the day, Donghyuck appears like a total angel while asleep. He’s the definition of calm. Completely and totally relaxed.

Mark tries to be as quiet as he can as he turns out the lights and uses his phone to head around the bed to the other side. He slips in as slowly as he can in order to not shake Donghyuck awake. Once there, Mark isn’t sure what to do.

He isn’t exactly tired. His brain is going a mile a minute and Donghyuck being right there, beside him, is not helping him at all. Turning so he’s on his side, Mark stares at the back of Donghyuck’s head and the way his shoulders rise and fall in deep breathes. If Mark could reach out. He could shift himself closer like they do back in his room on bad nights. But he doesn’t. Because this is different.

Everything about Donghyuck suddenly feels different. It’s possible that Renjun’s and Jaemin’s words have finally knocked down a final wall in Mark’s brain, or maybe it’s just finally clicked in after years of mulling it over, but the realization arises like smoke from a fire, slow and eternal. Mark thinks it’s an odd time, but maybe it isn’t. Maybe this is the perfect timing. Either way, it’s there and Mark can’t stop himself from thinking it.

Maybe—Mark swallows—just maybe, he might be a bit in love with Donghyuck.

There’s no shock, no firecracker of sudden awareness. Instead, it creeps up on him so gently that Mark thinks he’s probably known all along. He’s just finally put the words together.

He’s in love with Donghyuck.

What an utter disaster.

“I can hear you thinking.”

Mark’s eyes widen as Donghyuck rolls over to blink at him through the darkness. A stream of moonlight sneaks through the curtains, cutting across Donghyuck’s face and alighting his eyes like beacons.

“I thought you were asleep,” Mark whispers.

“Not quite. Just almost,” he replies. Rubbing at his nose, he asks, “What are you thinking about? I could practically hear the gears turning.”

Mark shakes his head. “Nothing of importance.”

Something of great importance.

But Donghyuck doesn’t need to know that. Not now. Preferably, not ever. It would be best if he never found out about Mark’s feelings, he decides. Because, in the very end, Mark knows that their friendship is everything to him. He’d rather have Donghyuck in his life as a friend, with no expectations of anything more, than chase him out because he chose to be selfish.

“You’re worrying about something,” Donghyuck says, voice drifting on the silence almost effortlessly. Mark barely registers his movement before Donghyuck’s finger runs from between Mark’s eyebrow to the tip of his nose. “You’re frowning. You always frown when you’re worried. You’ll get wrinkles.”

“It’s really nothing,” he lies, tugging the blankets up so they sit against his lips. It’s a useless shield, but he goes for it anyway. “You’re thinking, too.”

“How can you tell?”

“Because you only focus on my thoughts when you want to get away from yours,” Mark says.

Donghyuck shifts a bit closer and his warmth curls around Mark. “Or, maybe I just want to make sure you’re okay. You’ve been sort of out of it for a while. You don’t talk to me anymore. You talk a lot with Jaemin, though. And Renjun. But never me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Feels like it.”

In an attempt to prove Donghyuck wrong, Mark goes back into his memories, searching for a time and conversation where Mark’s opened up to Donghyuck recently. He doesn’t find one. He honestly shouldn’t be as surprised as he is because, lately, all his thoughts have been about what he feels for Donghyuck and those are things he wouldn’t have shared. They don’t even talk about the fact that Mark is graduating this year, even though he knows they should. He hasn’t expressed his worries on that, yet.

It isn’t like Donghyuck opens up to him. The boy is like a high-security vault. Mark gets a code every so often, but all that does is open one layer to find another locked box underneath. The fairness of it all seems tilted.

“What about you?” Mark asks.

Donghyuck tries to tilt his head, but he’s horizontal and all it does is mess up his hair against the pillow. “What about me?”

“You don’t talk to me, either. Not since…” His voice trails off. Not since the hospital a year ago. Not since Donghyuck lost control of his powers and sunk into his undeserved self-guilt. Ever since then, they haven’t talked about it.

“I don’t have much to say,” he whispers, his hand tugging at the corner of his pillow. “You know it all, anyway.”

“Do I?”

He doesn’t get a response. Donghyuck’s eyes slide shut and Mark knows the conversation is done. For now. Someday, Mark may get more out of him, but until then he’ll just have to settle for what he gets. Even if it’s not very much at all.

After a few minutes, Mark’s eyes fall heavy and, as he slips under, he thinks he feels Donghyuck’s hand brush his. For all he knows, it’s just his imagination running wild before the dreams take over.

*

The music loops around him like a boomerang. It comes and goes in throngs of sound, in and out, loud then soft. It makes his head struggle to come to grips with what he’s hearing because background noise is never like this. Never this distracting.

The party is crowded with people, pressed up against each other with no room to breathe. If it were a real place, with real people, it would be hot and sweaty and suffocating, but this is a dream and dreams are never what they seem. Where they lack in one aspect, they gain in another.

Mark runs his eyes over the people, trying to take them in. Their faces keep shifting between one vision and complete blurs, as if the dreamer can’t decide if they want those people to be a main focus or an inconsequential background character. He doesn’t think he recognizes any of the faces, even when he does see one. No, none of these people are useful to him, so he starts drifting through the crowd.

He doesn’t need to find the dreamer. It’s not a necessary thing, but Mark likes to because then he can wake them up and he can get out. There have been times where Mark has simply waited it out. Those nights, however, end up being long, drawn out nights that leave him exhausted in the morning when he finally wakes.

At every bump of his shoulder or touch of his hand, the people flicker in and out. Their clothes melt together, the details vanishing for the sake of the room remaining pristine and solid. Lights flash, jarring Mark’s vision as he shoves his way through. He doesn’t know where he’s going. There’s no perfect way to sus out a dreamer, though Mark’s discovered that the clearer the environment the closer he is.

So, he ends up following the music. The farther into the crowd he goes, the more focused the notes feel, like they’re trying to create a song that someone has long forgotten the lyrics to. The surroundings sync up, as well. It’s some kind of club, Mark deduces. Something underground because there’s no windows anywhere and everything is so dark except for the flashes of lights.

When he breaks free of the dance floor, he finds himself standing before a long row of booths, orange and bright. Lights wrap around the bottom of each one, casting the section in an eerie yellow glow. Out of all the places Mark has jumped to, this has to be one of the oddest. It shouldn’t be, but it is. Because most of the time, Mark ends up in nightmares. The buildings are spookier, the forests are so much darker, and the people…Well, there usually aren’t any people except for the dreamer and their antagonists—which are sometimes not even human at all. This, however, doesn’t feel like a nightmare.

“Hey, hey!” Someone takes hold of Mark’s shoulder and spins him around. Jaemin smiles at him. “You look lost. Dude, grab a drink.”

Surely, it’s not actually Jaemin. Narrowing his eyes, Mark studies his face, searching for a clue as to who it really is, but the more he stares the more he realizes that, yes, this is Jaemin. Clear as a bell. Smile and all. Regardless of all that, Mark knows Jaemin isn’t the dreamer because he’s fading around the legs and his hair is pink. Dreamers are always clear, always perfect.

Even if he knows it’s a dream, Mark takes the red cup from Jaemin’s hand and drops it, not even caring where it goes. It disappears before it hits the floor. Dream or not, Jaemin is sixteen and he shouldn’t be drinking. Whoever is dreaming should know that. They obviously know Jaemin enough to see him so undoubtedly in their mind.

Whoever’s dreaming—

Mark spins around, searching for familiar faces. No Jeno, no Renjun. He can’t see Chenle or Jisung either. All the faces are unfamiliar and somewhat distorted still.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jaemin asks, placing his hands on Mark’s arm and tugging him nearer by his bicep. Mark eyes them before looking to Jaemin’s face. He’s still smiling, almost robotically.

This doesn’t feel right. Something about this dream is off and Mark isn’t sure what it is because background characters don’t usually talk to Mark. They don’t really know he’s there until the last second—when they’re about to stab him or shoot him or jump him—but Jaemin is talking to him as if Mark is the dreamer. He’s not, though. This isn’t Mark’s dream. But maybe—

“Mark!”

He jumps as someone presses into his side, wrapping their arms around his waist. Red hair catches his attention before anything else, and it’s just enough information for Mark to realize who it is that’s next to him. Donghyuck smiles up at him, bright and full.

Jaemin’s hands fall away when Donghyuck turns to him with a sharp glare. “I guess I’ll be going,” he says before disappearing into the crowd.

“Mark?” Fingers graze his chin, angling him down slightly so he’s no longer watching after Jaemin but to Donghyuck himself. “You okay?”

It’s strange, not feeling Donghyuck’s warmth. It doesn’t exist in this dream. Touching, Mark remembers, is hit or miss. He can definitely feel Donghyuck’s hand against his jaw. There just happens to be no temperature to accompany it.

Then it hits him. The reason Jaemin saw him, spoke to him, is because Mark is a player in this game. He’s not an addition because he’s supposed to be here. Donghyuck speaking to him as if he expected him is enough to prove that Mark has taken over his dream counterpart. That’s never happened before. Even when he accidentally jumps into Taeyong’s dreams—which has really only happened once, now that he thinks about it.

Which leads him to his second realization of the night. Here he was looking for everyone else and it was Donghyuck. This is Donghyuck’s dream. It doesn’t make much sense because Mark’s pretty sure—more like a hundred percent sure—that Donghyuck has never been in a place like this. He wonders if maybe he’s seen it elsewhere, like a movie or a show, or maybe even a magazine.

It doesn’t matter. What matters is that Donghyuck is staring up at Mark with round eyes that keep flashing different colors along with the strobe lights. He hasn’t stepped away, either, or moved his hand. His fingers slip past Mark’s ear to the back of his neck to play with the hair there. It’s distracting and, if this was real life, Mark knows he would be breaking out into goosebumps.

“What’s up?” Donghyuck asks, moving so that he’s leaning into Mark’s chest, both arms now around Mark’s shoulders. It feels intimate. Mark’s not sure how to processes what’s happening. If this is Donghyuck’s dream—and he’s pretty sure it is—then why? Why is this happening? “You look confused.”

“I am,” Mark admits. “I don’t really know—”

“Shh. It’s okay.” Donghyuck leans in, pressing his lips to Mark’s in the briefest kiss. It’s not terribly noticeable because, well, it’s a dream. Except, it tingles just slightly and Mark can’t help but focus in on it. He shouldn’t be feeling that.

Now, he’s even more confused.

“Come on,” says Donghyuck as he takes Mark’s hand and leads him to one of the booths.

He pushes Mark in first before climbing in after him. In fact, he literally just climbs into Mark’s lap, straddling him, arms around Mark’s shoulders again. It’s a position Mark’s not quite sure what to think of because this isn’t something they do. This isn’t how their friendship works. And, yet, here they are, Donghyuck practically gluing himself to Mark’s front as if they’re something like a couple.

Hands on Donghyuck’s waist, Mark looks up, searching. If this is Donghyuck’s dream then why? Why is this happening? Donghyuck has never acted like this in reality. This isn’t the same person Mark knows. The person he knows wouldn’t do this kind of thing. Because the person he knows doesn’t like Mark like this.

Oh god, he thinks, this isn’t some kind of weird sex dream, is it?

“Donghyuck,” he says. It might not be where things are going, but if it is, he has to wake Donghyuck up before things get too far. Otherwise, they’re both screwed. “Hyuck, listen to me. It’s Mark. You need to wake up.”

“I know who you are,” Donghyuck chuckles, bringing his hands forward. They dip down the front of Mark’s chest before rising back up to cradle his face. “Now, are you going to kiss me or not?”

Mark stills, blinking up at him. The laugh he gets for his silence is light and cheerful and it shouldn’t be this crystal clear. It should be warbled. Like sound does in a dream.

Not waiting for a reply, Donghyuck kisses him. Mark wonders, for just a second, if he’s the one dreaming. This seems like a dream he would have—has had. That’s probably why he knows that this isn’t his dream. This is definitely someone else’s.

Donghyuck’s.

Gripping Donghyuck’s sides, Mark surges forward. Just for a moment, he thinks. He wants this for just a moment. Even if it is a dream.

Touch is hit or miss.

So, why can he feel everything? It’s impossible to miss the way Donghyuck’s hands run along his skin, how he presses as close as he can and even more so when Mark doesn’t think it’s possible. Dream Donghyuck kisses like Mark thought he might, all power and speed and just a little bit messy. Mark is just getting over one kiss before the next one is descending upon him with just as much desperation as all the others.

They move together as if they’re meant for this, meant for each other. Mark slides his hands under the hem of Donghyuck’s shirt, hoping to feel something more than just the pressure of Donghyuck’s body and lips. It’s faint, the feel of Donghyuck’s skin. Like a whisper.

Mark breaks away, noticing he’s not even out of breath, but that would be because this isn’t real. None of this is real and he shouldn’t be doing this. Donghyuck needs to wake up.

“Hyuck, it’s me,” he says, taking Donghyuck’s face in his hands. This close, Mark can see the swollen lips and the glassy eyes and he wants to kiss him again. Except, he can’t. “It’s me. Mark. Come on, Hyuck.”

“I know,” Donghyuck whispers. “I know you are.”

Mark’s breath hitches when Donghyuck peels Mark’s hands away to lean forward and kiss him just under his jaw. It’s the touch of a ghost, barely there, yet Mark feels it down into his core. Donghyuck’s lips brush along his skin. Digging his fingers into Donghyuck’s hips, he tries to stay focused on the task at hand.

“Donghyuck!” he shouts. Donghyuck flinches away, nearly falling backward off Mark’s lap. Luckily, Mark is holding onto him. He locks eyes with Donghyuck, who looks startled and just a little disoriented. “It’s _me_ ,” he presses. “It’s Mark. This is a dream. You have to _wake up!_ ”

The shift in his expression is both subtle and like a crashing wave all at the same time. His furrowed brow and trance-fallen eyes completely crumble into something akin to shock before he manages to collect it into some semblance of composure. Even in his dreams, Donghyuck has an incredible control over his facial features.

Slowly, he pulls himself back in. With eyes narrowed, he tilts his head to take in Mark’s face. “Mark?”

“Yeah,” he whispers. “Yeah, it’s me.”

This is about the time Donghyuck should be waking up. There are times where Mark or something else can scare someone out of a dream. Then, there are the times where people just need to realize it’s a dream and that will give them a doorway to reality fairly quick. And, yet, Donghyuck does neither of those things. Somehow, he’s still asleep, still far into his dream. Even the music is still going, albeit a bit quieter than before.

“You have to wake up now,” Mark tells him, unsure of how else to handle the situation. An abrupt thought rams into him that Donghyuck may remember this. He may remember all of it.

Well, shit.

“I don’t—you were—” Donghyuck grips his hair, squeezing his eyes shut as if he’s gotten a sudden headache. Mark knows it’s just his consciousness tugging on him, dragging him up until he finally gets out of here.

“It’s okay,” Mark says. “It’s okay. Just wake up, all right? And then you’re out.”

Eyelashes fluttering, Donghyuck opens his eyes and they fall onto Mark. He’s still in Mark’s lap, his hand coming down from his red hair to settle into the crook of Mark’s neck. The music falls silent, the people fall away, and the edges of the club start to fade into nothing until all that’s left is them and the booth they occupy.

“I’m sorry.” Donghyuck’s voice is a whisper. It’s wind that blows past Mark’s ear. So soft it could be missed and Mark doesn’t know why he’s apologizing. It’s not like he had control. This is all a dream after all.

But then Donghyuck leans in again, his nose brushing against Mark’s ever so slightly before sealing their lips together with something a little subdued, a little more careful. Mark’s not sure if it’s because Donghyuck is taking his time or if it’s a completely different reason, but the feel of Donghyuck’s lips on his is unexpectedly so much more prominent than before. He feels the push and the pull and the way Donghyuck leans into it, as if searching for something with every part of himself. It’s all lips and tongue and a bit of teeth, but it’s undeniably more subtle than the first one they shared.

“Donghyuck,” his whispers against his lips. His own consciousness is faulty, a little bit foggy, and he’s trying to latch on to something. “Hyuck.”

In a blink, Donghyuck is off him. He stands there with a look Mark can’t even describe because it’s fading so fast that he quite literally just misses it. Like a hand cutting through smoke, Donghyuck vanishes in a blur of color, and Mark is flung back to reality.

*

Eyes snapping open, Mark gasps awake. The blankets aren’t on him anymore, so the cold air slaps at his arms and legs as if to prove to him that _yes, you are indeed no longer in a dream_. He’s barely gotten his baring before Donghyuck bolts up in bed, panting and lost. He sighs, rubbing at his face a little too hard like he’s trying to gather himself.

Mark keeps himself still. The last thing he wants to do is spook Donghyuck away from him, especially if he remembers his dream. He may only be going off Taeyong, who instantly remembered Mark from the moment he woke up, but it’s something. Mark was hoping to never test the theory. Least of all with Donghyuck.

Inhaling deeply, Donghyuck lowers his hands to his lap and stares at them. He still seems like he’s lost in his mind, in his dream, trying to make sense of reality. After a moment, Mark decides he needs to move and sits up. Donghyuck almost leaps off the bed, eyes blown wide.

“Hey, you okay?” Mark asks. It’s a safe question. It doesn’t give too much away.

Donghyuck’s eyes trail over Mark’s face, down to his neck, and then back up. It’s as if he’s appraising Mark. Appraising him for what, he has no idea. He’s not even sure what he’s searching for. Maybe some indication that Mark remembers what just happened.

Schooling his features, Donghyuck pushes his hair from his forehead and says, “Fine. Nightmare. Just a nightmare.”

Mark can’t help the frown that mars his face. He takes his time, much like Donghyuck did, to get a good look, to search. Perhaps Mark would have believed that if Donghyuck’s eyes hadn’t shifted to Mark’s lips for half a second, or if Donghyuck’s body hadn’t shifted away from him just slightly. After years of practice, Mark can pick up these micro-movements, even if he can’t always figure out what they mean. This, however, is glaringly obvious.

Donghyuck does remember.

He should be happy that Donghyuck wants to pretend it never happened, but Mark feels like he just got gutted. It’s like a slap to the face, a punch to the stomach. Mark should be happy, but he’s not. In fact, he’s somewhat devastated.

It isn’t like he expected anything to come from, well, whatever that was. He hadn’t even thought about it because he had been so worried about Donghyuck simply remembering that he never got past the ‘what if he remembers’ part. Now that he’s here, however, he wants Donghyuck to talk to him about, to acknowledge it.

It’s a stupid want because he also knows that it could screw things up. Except, Donghyuck just dreamed about kissing Mark. That should mean something. Anything. Fuck, he doesn’t know, but it should.

“Just,” his voice breaks before he can stop it, “a nightmare?”

Donghyuck’s gaze finds his in the dark, glowing and striking. “Yeah. Just a nightmare. Goodnight, Mark.”

Dropping back down, Donghyuck rolls over so his back is to Mark and corrects the blankets before falling completely still, signaling the end of the conversation. But Mark is buzzing with adrenaline, and maybe a bit of shock, and he’s not sure he can calm down enough to sleep again.

Is this what’s going that happen? Donghyuck’s just ignoring what happened and Mark will forever live with the memory of it?

Maybe it didn’t even happen.

Mark kind of wants to believe that, but he can’t because, much like the residual pain of being stabbed or shot, he can still feel Donghyuck’s lips on his and that’s enough to prove that it was real. So very real.

*

If someone does something in a dream, knowing it’s not really a dream, is it still a dream?

Mark lives with that question for far too long because Donghyuck still acts like nothing ever happened. He still looks at Mark the same, still laughs at their jokes the same. The only difference is that Donghyuck gets just a little touchier: slapping him on the back more, hanging off his arm when he doesn’t need to. Like he’s over compensating. Mark finds it distracting and a little cruel. And the longer it goes on, the harder it gets.

Somedays, Mark is glad for it, glad that they don’t have to deal with the aftermath of that one random dream. A lot of the time, however, he hates it. Absolutely loathes it. He knows what happened, but no one else does, and it’s enough to drive him crazy.

Over the next several months, straight into the new year, he thinks about telling someone. Maybe Jaemin. Maybe Renjun. But he doesn’t. He’s not entirely sure why. It might be because he’s still struggling to wrap his mind around it and he doesn’t need any other input currently to cause any more issues. Or it might be because, for some reason, it feels like telling a secret. Donghyuck can’t control his dreams. He didn’t mean to show Mark. To tell someone feels like betrayal in the worst sense.

So, he clamps his mouth shut and moves on. As best he can. If Donghyuck wants to pretend, Mark will follow. Even though it keeps eating at him.

It’s still eating at him when Donghyuck convinces him with a bat of his eyelashes to break into their school building. More specifically the gym building. Everyone else goes for it almost immediately. Mark is the one whining and worrying even as they climb the school wall and letting Donghyuck lock pick his way through the door to the pool.

Even as his nerves rattle around once inside the building, Mark can’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be. When they first started doing these things, break and entering and trespassing, Mark wasn’t sure why they even bothered to bring him. All he did was nag and worry. But Jaemin once told him it was because he kept them sane, kept them honest, despite doing one of the least honorable things in the world. In a way, Mark is glad they accept him in these kinds of things because when things go to hell—like they do at the school pool when the guards hear them and start chasing them out—he’s more than happy to be the one to call out the orders.

Chenle breaks the glass in the door for them to run through. Jaemin controls one of the trees to make a bridge over the wall and off school property. And they get out quick and easy, falling to their knees in laughter when they make it to the street.

When they finally pick themselves up, they split to go home. Donghyuck, both surprisingly and unsurprisingly, goes home with Mark. His parents are asleep when they get there, so they creep slowly to his bedroom. Donghyuck drops onto Mark’s bed, looks up at him, and immediately keels over in laughter once again. Hurriedly, Mark crosses the room to cover his mouth.

“Hyuck, shut up!” he hisses, but he’s laughing, too, and can’t seem to get it to stop. His nerves have finally given up and all he can do is laugh. Laugh at their stupidity, the sheer ridiculousness of it all. It’s more hysterical than anything.

“Oh, my god,” Donghyuck gasps as he flails away from Mark’s hands to roll over. He almost slips off the bed, but Mark catches the back of his pants and yanks him back. “Oh, my fucking god, that was awesome.”

“Language,” Mark reminds him, laughter slowly dying down.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “As if you don’t swear.”

“Not like a sailor.”

“One of us has to.”

Raising a brow, Mark asks, “Do you, though?”

The only response he gets is a shrug before Donghyuck gets up to open one of the drawers of Mark’s dresser. It’s full of Donghyuck’s things. Mark wonders when that started to happen, when Donghyuck started keeping things here. He digs out a spare t-shirt and some jogging pants before gesturing for Mark to turn around.

As he rolls over to face the wall, he asks, “Why didn’t you tell Jaemin you were thinking about not going to university?”

The sound of shuffling fabric fills his ears before the bed sinks behind him and he glances back to find Donghyuck completely changed, his red hair an utter mess. Mark kind of wants to fix it. Or mess it up more.

“Because I knew he’d flip his lid,” Donghyuck says, “and he did.”

Mark wrinkles his nose. Remembering how Jaemin had tried to jump Donghyuck after the news. “Sorry about that. I really thought you had told him.”

“Don’t worry about it. He knows now, doesn’t he?”

Flopping onto his back, Mark gazes up at the ceiling. “I think you should reconsider.”

“Why?” Donghyuck asks, leaning over Mark to stare down at him. “Think about it, what the hell am I going to do, Mark? What would I possibly go to school for? I don’t think breaking and entering is a real degree.”

“You have other skills, Hyuck,” Mark says as he pulls himself up into a sitting position and leans back on his hands.

Crossing his arms, Donghyuck inquires, “Oh, yeah? Like what?”

“You sing. Well. Really well.” And he does. Mark wouldn’t mind listening to him sing all the time. “And you’re great at school. Granted, you’ve flunked a few tests, but overall, your grades are great. Pick your favourite class and go from there.”

“What if I don’t want to sit in a classroom any longer? Mark, I’m not going to fail at life if I don’t go to university. I’d much rather just go with the flow.”

“Are you sure?”

Donghyuck sighs. “No. But I don’t need to decide yet either. Unlike you, I have a whole year left to figure that out. And if I need more time, I can just do what you’re doing. Take a year off. I mean, that’s why you’re doing it right?”

Well, in all honesty, no. He knows what he wants to do. He’s going to go into music, composition and producing, with literature on the side for a minor. The only reason he’s not going to university is because he’s not going to make the same mistake that he did when he went to high school. Oh, no. Donghyuck and him are going to explore university together. If he goes.

“Just think about it,” Mark tells him. “Please?”

“It’s not like you won’t be able to find me. I’m not going anywhere,” promises Donghyuck. He pokes at Mark’s shoulder. “Go get changed.”

Mark hates how Donghyuck deflects. Always deflecting. Always skirting conversations he doesn’t want to have. The worst part is, Mark can’t make him talk, so he does as he’s told instead and goes to get changed. When he comes back to his room, Donghyuck is spread out over his single bed, under the sheets, his phone lighting up his face. He smiles at Mark, scoots over, and pats the side that Mark’s silently claimed as his over the years.

When Mark crawls under the covers, Donghyuck shifts closer, phone still in his hands. He turns it toward Mark, making his squint from the brightness, and shows him a video of a puppy rolling around in the grass. Smiling, Mark takes it from his hand, finishes the video, and places the phone upside down on the bedside table. As he does so, Donghyuck huddles closer. He feels hotter than usual, but Mark doesn’t say anything about it.

It’s times like these, when Donghyuck’s arms are around his middle and everything is so completely silent, that Mark wants to ask about the dream they shared. There has to be a reason for the sudden affection overload that seems to be happening. Except, every time he opens his mouth, he can’t seem to get any sound to come out. It’s possible he’s scared Donghyuck may retreat, or that something else may happen.

With all his dislike, he peels off Donghyuck’s hands and turns to face him in the bed. If Donghyuck is curious about it or hurt over the action, he doesn’t comment. Instead, he finds Mark’s eyes and stares. Mark thinks that if they aren’t going to talk about whatever is going on between them, then he needs to set boundaries even if he doesn’t want to. There’s only so much touching Donghyuck can do before it’s unfair to Mark’s heart.

“You always look like you want to say something, but you’re holding back,” Donghyuck whispers.

“Maybe,” he tentatively agrees. “Sometimes I have no idea what you’re thinking. It’s kind of rude, considering you read me fairly well.”

Donghyuck chuckles, low and soft. “Yeah, well, you wear your heart on your sleeve.”

“Where’s your heart then?”

“In my head,” he says, eyes bouncing between Mark’s. “It’s hard to get it out of there sometimes.”

Mark coughs a laugh. “How did it get in there in the first place?”

“Got a little lost and then couldn’t get back out. Just got,” he pauses, “stuck.”

He thinks he feels Donghyuck’s fingers brush against his under the blankets. He doesn’t check. “We’ll work to get it out of there together, huh?”

“I think it might be a permanent placement, Canada. But I appreciate the sentiment.” His eyes flutter closed. “It’s not so bad. Until it is.”

“Hyuck?”

“Hm?”

That’s all he gets because Donghyuck is out like a light. His breathing slowing, his head drooping farther into the pillow. Mark waits, to see if maybe Donghyuck will shake himself out of it, but he doesn’t. Mark resists the urge to brush Donghyuck’s red fringe from his face.

He decides, in that moment, that it doesn’t matter if he’s heard or not. He just needs to say it. So, he does.

“I love you.”

*

It’s sometime in late March, on a Sunday afternoon, when Mark finds himself in Jaemin’s room looking over his English essays. It’s a bit of a mess, in all honesty, but he can’t focus on it because Jaemin’s doing that hyperfocus thing again where essays are definitely not on his mind, but Jeno is.

Jeno, and his tight-lipped secret that he won’t tell anyone. Not even his best friend. Mark can tell it’s driving Jaemin up the wall. It’s fair, Mark thinks. Jeno and Jaemin have always been close, having been best friends longer than Mark and Donghyuck, and they talk about everything together. Except, apparently, for whatever is going on with Jeno right now. Or for the last few weeks.

“Do you think he’s avoiding you?” Donghyuck asks as he stretches across Jaemin’s bed like he owns it.

Mark and Donghyuck had been hanging out when Jaemin called him for help, so they came together in the end. Which is fine. As long as Donghyuck isn’t a distraction from what he’s actually supposed to be doing. Which, all and all, is exactly what he’s being. A very bad distraction.

The moment they closed the door to Jaemin’s room and Mark sat down at the desk to start reading, Jaemin and Donghyuck got on the topic of Jeno, once again. It isn’t that Mark isn’t worried. He kind of is. Jeno’s always been a little quiet, a little closed-in, and a little clumsy. So, the fact that Jeno shows up with a few bruises here and there and just doesn’t talk about it much doesn’t seem all that alarming. However, Jeno’s been ditching them, and from Jaemin’s words, he’s also been cutting Jaemin out a bit.

Now, that’s alarming.

“Why would he be avoiding Jaemin? They’re best friends,” Mark says because, yeah, it doesn’t make sense at all. Jeno shouldn’t be avoiding Jaemin, period.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Donghyuck drawls. He wiggles Jaemin’s phone between his fingers. For the past few minutes, he’s been reading over the messages between Jaemin and Jeno to try and figure out what’s going on. So far, even Donghyuck has no idea. And that’s never a good thing. “Perhaps I’m getting the idea from the very short, very one-worded answers Jeno’s giving. ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Where are you?’ ‘Home.’” Donghyuck glances up. “I mean, it doesn’t sound normal. He usually throws in more animal photos and he’s thrown in, oh, none.”

Mark holds out his hand and Donghyuck tosses the phone. It’s a good thing Mark has good reflexes because the throw is a little short and he has to lunge almost off the chair to catch it. He scrolls through the messages and, _oh_ , yep, those are some very distant replies. Mark should know. He’s done that on occasion to Donghyuck.

Frowning, he says, “Okay, yeah, that’s definitely weird.”

“Think he’s hiding another bear?” Donghyuck inquires.

Mark almost laughs. Oh, Jeno is never going to live that down. Hiding a bear cub in his shed, only to have it scratch him and then have his mom find out. That was an interesting time. And, truthfully, Donghyuck’s question is totally valid because Jeno would do it again if he had the chance.

Jaemin shakes his head. “He would tell me. Wouldn’t he?”

“Unless he’s worried that he’ll get caught like last time. You said he was wearing cover-up?” Mark asks.

“Yeah, under his one eye. You seriously never noticed?”

Mark would have taken that as a hit because, yeah, he probably should have noticed, but then again, “I don’t really look that closely at Jeno, Nana,” he chuckles. Jaemin flushes. “I did notice him favoring his arm, though. But that’s not unheard of from Jeno. He’s sometimes a complete mess.”

“You say that as if you’re not,” Donghyuck says with a snort.

Shooting him a glare, Mark retorts, “This isn’t about my lack of coordination.”

Mark has coordination. He wouldn’t be on the basketball team if he didn’t. He just also happens to have bad luck. And a best friend who is very distracting and often causes Mark to run into walls or doors because he can’t stop watching.

“Still don’t know how you can go from tripping over nothing to being Mr. Golden-Child-Basketball-Star-Captain.”

“That’s—it’s—we aren’t all parkour geniuses.”

Donghyuck smirks. “Aw, you called me a genius.”

Trying to cover up his very red ears because, _crap_ , Donghyuck looks good when he smirks, Mark whips an eraser at him. Donghyuck dodges with a hearty laugh. Jaemin steps between them.

“Can we please focus?” he asks. “I’m really worried here. Something isn’t right.”

As Mark turns completely around, Donghyuck sits up and they catch each other’s eye. They both know Jaemin worries over the smallest things sometimes. Usually, they aren’t that big to put much thought into. But even they can’t deny that something is up with Jeno. Whether it’s a real issue or not, Jeno isn’t talking and he’s been avoiding Jaemin and he’s even been avoiding them in a way, ditching their hang outs because he has a ‘family obligation’, which he never has. It’s strange, Mark will give Jaemin that. But strange enough to worry about?

“Maybe he really is avoiding me,” Jaemin whispers, snapping Mark out of his staring contest with Donghyuck. It seems that they both think it’s a bit odd. Maybe needs to be checked into. At least, that’s what Mark got from Donghyuck’s expression. And while Donghyuck is hard to read on the daily, when he wants to be read he’s incredibly easy.

Sighing, Jaemin walks over to take a seat on the edge of his bed. “I just don’t know why. What did I do?”

Exhaling, Mark says, “Oh, Nana. I don’t think you did anything. This is all on Jeno. Maybe you should just talk to him. Let him know what you’re thinking.”

He shakes his head. “Every time I want to demand answers, I can’t. It’s like I just can’t get the words out of my mouth. I know he lied about being sick.” Donghyuck raises a brow. “I went to his house to see him and his dad said he wasn’t there. Acted like Jeno went to school and had just never come home. He told me he was at home. He lied to me. And he’s lied to all of us because I’m pretty sure he’s not doing a ‘family thing’. I know his lying face and that was his lying face. Both times.”

Donghyuck breathes deeply and when he opens his mouth Jaemin knows he’s about to say something Jaemin isn’t going to like. “Does he really need to tell us everything? Let the boy have some secrets. There is nothing wrong with secrets.”

“There is if he’s getting hurt!” Jaemin exclaims. “Secrets just mean burdens. If Jeno is going through something we should be helping him, not letting him deal with it on his own. Maybe that’s how you deal with things, but that’s not Jeno.”

Mark glances at Donghyuck, who’s taken to picking at the blanket around his legs. Well, that’s something, Mark notes. He’s always known that Donghyuck likes to keep things hush-hush until he’s sure it’s safe to share, even from Mark. It’s just something he’s had to get used to. But, clearly, Jaemin knows something, something Donghyuck hasn’t even told Mark and that—well, that hurts. And when Donghyuck doesn’t even spare him a glance, Mark rubs at his temple, wondering just what he doesn’t know.

“Look,” Mark says, slowly, “all we know is that he’s avoiding the subject and he’s a little injured.” Jaemin opens his mouth, but Mark adds, “We’ll keep an eye out. Nana, you can’t drag the answers out of him if he doesn’t want to give them. If it gets really bad, we can all talk to him, or maybe I can ask. Okay?”

Donghyuck smiles and nudges at Jaemin’s arm. “Look at Mark trying to be all leader-y and mature. He’s only doing that because he thinks he’s a big shot now that he’s graduating and leaving us kids behind.”

“I do not,” Mark argues. “I’m just saying that he seems to be only avoiding Jaemin and so me asking might be less…Well, it might be better.”

“Wait,” Jaemin looks up from his lap. “What do you mean ‘only Jaemin’? He’s answering all of you?” Mark turns back around to focus in on the essay he’s supposed to be editing as Donghyuck clears his throat. “You can’t be serious.”

“To be honest,” Donghyuck says, “we don’t talk to him as much as you. But, um, yeah, he’s a little more verbal in his responses to us.”

Mark looks over his shoulder. “We’ll figure it out, Nana. We promise. For now, just wait and talk to him on Monday.”

Jaemin nods solemnly.

“By the way, your intro needs help. Good god, this is atrocious.”

They sort of leave the conversation there. Jaemin and Mark go through the essay while Donghyuck watches videos of puppies in the background. By the time Mark is done, it’s nearing dinner and he and Donghyuck duck out with a promise that everything will be fine. Jeno will be fine.

“Want me to drop you off at yours?” Mark offers.

Donghyuck nods. “Yeah, thanks.”

His car isn’t anything special, just a hand-me-down Volkswagen his brother left behind when he left for university. He left a lot behind, Mark thinks. He hasn’t really spoken to his brother in months, but that’s okay because he’s pretty sure his brother doesn’t want to talk. He’s always been very driven, much like Mark in a way, but this passion meant no one was going to stand in his way. Not his parents, not Mark, and certainly not things that look too cheap for the places he wants to go.

Walking around the car, Mark unlocks it and looks up just in time to see Donghyuck stumble. He grips the top of the vehicle to keep himself from face-planting the driveway. The color seems to have seeped from Donghyuck’s face, his eyes appearing a little glassy. Mark is quick to rush to the passenger side to help steady him, but as soon as his hands touch the skin of Donghyuck’s arm, he hisses. It’s burning.

“Hyuck, you all right? What’s wrong?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, straightening his back. “I’m fine. Sorry, just got dizzy there.”

“You’re hot,” he mutters, trying his best not to take his hands away because he’s kind of terrified that if he lets go Donghyuck will collapse.

“Well, thank you, Canada. You’re not too bad yourself.” But the joke falls flat despite Donghyuck’s best efforts and even Mark can’t get embarrassed by it right now. “I’ll be fine. I’ll go home and take a nap or something. I’m sure it’s just because I’m not sleeping properly.”

Mark furrows his brow. “Let’s get you home.”

Opening the door, Mark helps Donghyuck into the seat before heading back to the driver’s side. He slides into the seat. Donghyuck stays quiet as he starts up the car, resting his head against the window and closing his eyes. Mark thinks he’s fallen asleep until Donghyuck mutters for him to start up the car, which he does immediately.

“You’re my best friend, Mark,” Donghyuck whispers, just loud enough to be heard over the engine.

Mark blinks. “You’re mine, too. What’s this about, Hyuck?”

“Just,” Donghyuck shakes his head, “don’t forget that, yeah?”

“Yeah. Yeah, would never,” he promises. “Let’s, uh, get you home.”

When he finally gets the car onto the road, Donghyuck really does fall asleep this time. Mark tries not to dig too deep into what just happened.

*

To be perfectly honest, Mark shouldn’t have been surprised that Donghyuck manages to convince all their friends to trespass onto the community center roof again.

They had been at lunch on Monday when Donghyuck suggested, “We could do the community center again?”

“What’s with you and doing illegal activities?” Mark had whined.

“If you really had an issue with it, you wouldn’t join us.” Donghyuck had pointed a wicked, pretty smirk his way and fluttered his eyelashes when he added, “I think you like the fact that I’m a bad boy.”

“I think you’re missing brain cells, is what I think.”

The most pathetic part is that, yeah, Mark kind of likes Donghyuck’s reckless side. He’s not sure why because it just gives him all the heart and panic attacks available, but at the same time he can’t help but realize that Donghyuck is just so free when he gets playful with the law. It’s kind of addicting seeing Donghyuck like that.

Maybe that’s why he finally agrees. Or maybe it’s because he’s terrified of what would happen if he weren’t there.

They agree to meet on Friday night, to hang out on the roof for a couple hours before returning to Renjun’s for the rest of the night. When they all meet up, they’ve brought their bags and some snacks. Despite the chilly night and the irresponsibility of the whole escapade, Mark is slightly hyped for it. Slightly.

Like usual, Jeno makes the climb first. Then, Renjun, Chenle, followed by Jisung. With the help of Mark and Donghyuck, Jaemin goes next. He’s about halfway up the ladder before Mark decides it’s his turn.

The climb, itself, isn’t all that bad; once you get onto the ladder. It’s the jump and lift that’s a bit of a struggle. Not that Mark would tell Donghyuck that. He would hear about it for ages. Rubbing his hands on his thighs, Mark readies himself the jump.

“You going to go any time soon?” Donghyuck asks, checking out his nails.

Mark fights an eye roll. “I’m fine.”

He hears Donghyuck mutter something. It’s a little too quiet to make out the words and Mark decides he’s not going to ask. So, he jumps, hands gripping the lower rung and making the ladder quake. Without losing momentum, he pulls himself up and starts to climb. Once he’s at the top, he calls out, “Uh, a little help?” and Jeno and Jisung move to help him over the ledge.

Panting, Mark rests his arms on the half-wall and leans over to shout, “You coming?”

Donghyuck pauses mid-step. “Don’t rush me, Canada!”

This time, Mark really does roll his eyes. “Just get up here.”

“Whatever you say, your highness.”

Like everything he does, his climb is flawless and graceful and Mark kind of wishes he had recorded it for some really silly reason. He jumps, taking the ladder rung and rushing himself upward. It’s fast, it’s daring, and it’s kind of hot, Mark’s not going to lie.

Once Donghyuck is over the ledge, he turns to Mark with a smirk and leans in. “Miss me, honey?”

Ignoring the shiver down his spine, Mark shoves him. Donghyuck needs to start to learn about boundaries if they want to keep their relationship as normal as possible. Mark’s not sure how much longer he can take of Donghyuck hanging off him, putting his legs on his lap, or whispering in his ear. It’s too much.

While Renjun and Chenle busy themselves with opening up the snacks, Jaemin and Jeno spread out the blankets. Somewhere in the set-up, Jisung’s given a blanket by Donghyuck without a word. That’s normal, Mark thinks. Donghyuck doing things for people without really explaining himself.

“Man,” Jeno says as he sits next to Jaemin, their shoulders touching, “it’s been a while since we’ve been up here.”

Chenle, holding out a bag of chips to Jisung, says, “Not since last year, right?”

Mark takes a spot next to Jisung and starts digging through his bag for a few flashlights. It’s starting to get dark. They’re going to need them on the way back down. Flicking one on, he sits it in the middle of the circle to give them just a little more light while the sky above them darkens into night. He’s leaning back on his hands when Donghyuck joins his side and flops down over his lap. He grins up at Mark, who can do nothing but sigh and let him do it. Perhaps, the overwhelming affection can end tomorrow.

Jeno’s now got his arm over Jaemin’s shoulders, leaning in to whisper in his ear. Mark can see the way Jaemin tenses, his cheeks going pink from the proximity. One day, Mark hopes, they’ll finally confess and Jaemin can stop walking on egg shells. But, until then, they’ll continue to dance around each other until they’re dizzy.

Mark might be worried at Jaemin’s growing love for his best friend if he didn’t know it was reciprocated. Sure, Jeno’s never said anything. He’s never been one to talk about his feelings. But it’s written all over his face, all over his smile, when he’s with Jaemin. It’s not like how he looks at the rest of them. Jaemin is different for Jeno and always will be. Everything about them is just _fond_ and _loving_. Pure adoring on both ends. It’s cute, if not a little frustrating. At this point, they should be together.

“If you’re done whispering sweet nothings to each other, can we get this party started?” Donghyuck asks. Even from this position, Mark can tell his eyes are sparkling. Mark kind of wants to run his fingers through his red hair, but he holds back.

“Are we going to play something?” asks Chenle.

Jisung is the first to suggest, “Truth or Dare?”

Mark hopes not.

“No way,” Renjun says with a shake of his head. Thank god for Renjun. “The last time we did that there were some questionable moments and Chenle almost died.”

“I was fine,” Chenle tells him.

“He was,” Donghyuck agrees with a flip of his hand.

He was not. Mark remembers that night and Chenle most definitely was not all right.

“He blacked out!” Renjun snaps.

“He came to,” says Donghyuck, “eventually.”

Now, Mark kind of wants to pinch him to get him to shut up. God, his lap is really warm right now.

“Okay,” Jaemin says, “so no Truth or Dare. I don’t feel like moving, anyway. What else is there?”

“Would You Rather?” Jeno puts in.

Letting out a groan, Donghyuck says, “God, I wish I brought cards or something.”

“Why don’t you come up with something then?”

“Fine.” Donghyuck sits up and Mark is immediately so much colder than he was and he wants Donghyuck to come back. However, he doesn’t. Instead, he tilts his head and furrows his brow in thought. Finally, he suggests, “Never Have I Ever.”

“Oh, this should be fun,” Renjun mutters as he digs his hand into the bag of chips he’s decided to horde. “What don’t we know about each other?”

“I’m sure there are secrets,” Donghyuck says.

Mark knows Donghyuck is looking at Jeno, but he can’t help but tense himself. Because, yeah, he’s got a whole crap load of secrets that he probably shouldn’t have. Yet, here he is. He bites the inside of his cheek, hoping things don’t spin his direction and then off the roof.

“Who’s first?”

They all raise their hands, ready to start, when Rejun says, “Never have I ever failed an exam.”

“I hate you,” grumbles Donghyuck as he lowers a finger. Mark side-eyes him. “You know I can’t stand English.”

Mark wants to know how he never knew about this.

Jeno and Jisung both lower a finger, causing Renjun to shake his head. “You’re all terrible.”

“What exam did you fail?” Jaemin asks, nudging Jeno in the side.

“Um, math. Last year.”

Twisting around, Jaemin stares him down. “I tutored you for that math exam. How the heck did you fail? Did you get nothing out of that study session?”

“Oh, he got something out of it, but it wasn’t math,” Donghyuck snickers.

Jeno picks up Jaemin’s backpack from beside him and whips it at the laughing redhead. “Next, please!”

“Okay, okay,” Mark says as he takes the backpack from Donghyuck and sets it off to the side. Because the last thing he needs is Donghyuck throwing it back and having someone lose an eye. “Never have I ever stolen something.”

Donghyuck groans. “Why do you all hate me?”

“Because you usually win,” Jeno points out. “This is the only game we can make you lose. Don’t know why you picked it.”

“It’s better than fucking Would You Rather.”

Mark leans over to pinch Donghyuck’s leg. “Language.”

“Oh, my turn!” Chenle bounces excitedly in his spot. “Never have I ever kissed someone.”

“Gross,” Jisung mutters.

“Child,” Renjun says, his finger lowering.

It’s common knowledge that Renjun’s kissed someone. A girl at his cousin’s wedding a few years ago. It was the only time Mark’s seen him so incessantly happy. Nothing really came of it, but, _boy_ , did it make Renjun’s month.

Jeno, though, Mark doesn’t know about. He listens as Donghyuck pokes fun at him and both Jaemin and Jeno explain Jeno’s elementary school kiss with a girl from his class. It’s kind of cute, and very Jeno. Even Jaemin, the boy who’s been in love with Jeno since he’s known what love was, finds it endearing.

While the others are laughing at Jeno’s retelling, Mark lowers his own finger. He doesn’t need to hide this from anyone because they all know. Even Jisung and Chenle were told the story of how Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck showed up at Mark’s door after a very short make-out session with Yeri. He doesn’t regret it. Well, he kind of regrets the others finding out that way, but he doesn’t regret the kiss. In fact, he’s sort of glad it was with Yeri. She was sweet and she liked him and she was a good kisser. All in all, it could have been so much worse.

Mark glances at Donghyuck. He wonders if he’ll lower a finger, if he considers whatever happened at Chenle’s birthday a real kiss. Granted, it had been in a dream, but Mark knows—he just _knows_ —that, in the end, Donghyuck knew exactly what he was doing.

He’s surprised when Donghyuck catches his eye. His hand is still up, only two fingers down. For a moment, he’s paused, unmoving. Then, his jaw locks, gaze flicking to the flashlight in the center, and slowly drops a finger. It’s so slow that Mark stops breathing, waiting for it to finally lower completely. His heart jumps.

“Wait, who have you kissed?” Chenle asks.

Trying to stop himself from saying anything, from demanding answers, Mark grabs a handful of chips from Jisung’s bag and shoves them into his mouth. He’s not sure he can look at anyone right now, but he’s sure someone is looking at him. Maybe Jaemin.

“None of your fucking business,” Donghyuck snaps, his defenses suddenly rising like hackles.

“But everyone else shared. Or, at least we know who they’ve kissed,” Chenle says with a kick of his feet. “I want to know!”

Donghyuck frowns. “Well, you don’t get to, gummy, so shut up and deal with it.”

“Someone is getting defensive,” Jeno says.

Abruptly, Donghyuck is on his feet. He brushes off his shorts and says, “This game is stupid.”

“You suggested it,” Renjun puts in.

“Yeah, well, I’m out. I think we should go.”

“We just got here,” Jisung whines.

Huffing, Donghyuck starts off away from the group, kicking a stone on the way. It skitters across the ground and bounces off the ledge. Mark hurries after him, ignoring all the curious expressions on his friends’ faces. They don’t need to know anything.

They’ve made it a decent distance away before Mark grabs Donghyuck’s elbow and tries to twist him so that he can look at his face. “Hey, you know it’s okay, right? They’re just joking around. Hyuck, seriously. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says as he pulls himself from Mark’s grasp. “God, so what? I kissed someone. Can we move on?”

Mark bites his lip. His heart is still pounding and he’s hoping, just hoping, that the finger Donghyuck lowered really was him acknowledging what had happened less than a year ago. Neither of them has spoken about it, but Donghyuck hasn’t ever been stupid. They both know what happened that night. They just don’t want to be the first one to break. Now, Mark’s practically praying for Donghyuck to admit it because, as much as he hates to admit it, it’s torturous waiting.

Donghyuck sighs and leans against the ledge. Mark follows. For a moment, neither of them speak. Then, Donghyuck says, “I don’t get why it even matters. It’s just a fucking kiss. It’s not like I had sex or something.”

He’s lucky it’s dark enough for his heated ears to go unnoticed. Mark clears his throat. “You going to tell me about it? Or are you just going to make me curious for the rest of my life?”

There’s a moment that Mark wonders if Donghyuck isn’t going to say anything at all, or perhaps push the conversation elsewhere, but then Donghyuck says, “It’s not anything too exciting. Girl on the playground in middle school. It was after you got to high school. I just don’t like talking about it because it’s dumb.”

“Oh.” Mark feels his heart tumble into his stomach. “Is that right?”

Donghyuck turns so he can grab the ledge and lean back. He shrugs. When his eyes meet Mark’s there’s something there. There’s a hint of something that Mark can’t quite put his finger on, but it strikes a nerve even before Donghyuck can reply. “Yeah, that’s right.”

 _Liar_.

The word flashes in Mark’s mind. Donghyuck Lee, the boy who doesn’t lie, is lying to Mark’s face and he’s not even concerned with hiding it. It’s a low blow that slams into his gut with enough force to churn his stomach. Mark straightens, feeling his jaw muscles tighten.

“All right then.”

Donghyuck doesn’t move as Mark marches right passed him to the circle. He snatches up his backpack and one of the flashlights he brought.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Jaemin asks as he struggles to his feet, blanket getting in the way. “You’re leaving?”

“Yep.” Mark doesn’t even bother to hide how frustrated he is as he starts to climb over the ledge. Jeno rushes over to take his arms, just in case he misses a rung.

Mark’s got the flashlight between his teeth as he situates himself on the ladder. His eyes flicker to Donghyuck. He still hasn’t moved. Still hasn’t even tried to fix what he’s done. No, Donghyuck can keep on pretending and he can keep on hiding whatever the hell he wants to hide. Mark is done with it. He’s done with it and he’s leaving. He starts his descent.

When he reaches the ground, his legs feel like they’re about to give out on him. It shouldn’t hurt so much, but it does. Donghyuck’s successfully tore a hole in Mark’s heart, and whether he’s aware of it or not, it’s god awful. So fucking awful. 

Eyes burning, Mark looks up at the roof to see Jaemin sticking his head over. He waves the flashlight at him, and turns to leave. He wants to go home. He wants to bury himself under self-pity and hatred. Why he thought he’d gain anything from Donghyuck is beyond him because he should have known. He should have known that playing with fire would get him burned.

If Donghyuck doesn’t want to acknowledge it, then Mark needs to figure out a way to move on. This isn’t something he thinks he can bounce back from. Not like he’s been able to do before. This isn’t something he can smile away.

“Mark, wait!”

He glances back to see Jaemin working his way over the ledge to the ladder. Mark wants to leave, but he waits anyway. Waits for Jaemin to make the full climb down and rush across the parking lot.

Taking Mark’s arm, Jaemin turns him toward the light. He breathes out a startled, “Mark.”

It’s then that the tears click in. Oh, yeah. He’s crying. God, he hates crying. He wipes them away with a little too much force with his sleeve. It doesn’t stop the tears from flowing, though. Only Donghyuck, he thinks. Only Donghyuck can break him down into dust like this.

“What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Jaemin pulls him into a hug. It’s warm and comforting and Mark buries his head into Jaemin’s shoulder, letting his tears run and his body shake.

“Are you hurt?”

Mark tries to snort, except it comes out as an odd sort of noise because of his stuffed sinuses. When he leans back from Jaemin, he forces a smile—although it feels more like a grimace—and sniffs again.

“Hurt,” he scoffs. “I guess that’s one way to put it.”

“What do you mean?”

Shaking his head, Mark says, “Don’t worry about it, Nana. I’ll get over it. Just need some time.”

“Is it…” Jaemin starts, hesitantly, only for his voice to trail off into uncertainty. “Did it have something to do with the game?”

Generous Jaemin. Wonderful Nana. It doesn’t matter if he’s having his own internal struggles, he’ll always put everyone else before himself because that’s just what he does. Mark doesn’t know what he’d do without Jaemin as a friend, quite honestly. There are more than enough times they’ve kept each other afloat. He hates seeing the concern written over Jaemin’s face. He hates that he’s caused Jaemin, the boy who takes all the burdens of everyone he meets onto himself, so much more pain.

“Tell me this.” Mark’s eyes flick to the community center roof where everyone else is climbing down. Donghyuck’s figure is still at the top, turned away. “Do you know about Donghyuck’s first kiss?”

Jaemin frowns. “No, nothing. You do, though, don’t you?”

Mark’s laugh is so bitter it’s has to tear up through his throat. It painful. Jaemin reaches out to take his hand. It’s still trembling and the light of the flashlight keeps wiggling. So, Donghyuck hadn’t even told Jaemin. Perhaps, he really did just move on, so easily, while Mark’s been struggling for months.

“I thought I did,” Mark says, quietly. “It’s stupid, really. People always talk about best friends sharing all their secrets. Guess that’s not the truth, huh? Jeno. Donghyuck. Even you and I are holding things back because we don’t want to mess anything up.” Jaemin flinches. “I’m sorry, Nana.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “No, don’t be sorry. You’re right. It’s not supposed to be this hard, is it?”

“I want to say no, but I’m not so sure anymore.” Mark slowly pulls his hand away. “Sorry to ruin the night. You guys should go have fun. I’m going to head home.”

“Come with us,” Jaemin says. “Please? You can hang with me tonight. And whatever is going on will blow over. It always does.”

“This one isn’t going to be as easy, Nana.” The tears have stopped. Finally. Maybe Mark can make it home without feeling completely broken now. “Go have fun, okay? Tell them I wasn’t feeling well. Sudden stomach ache. I’ll be fine, I promise. I just need time.”

Jaemin curls his arms around himself. “If you’re sure.”

“See you, Nana.”

Shoulders hunched, he makes it onto the pathway behind the community center and heads off toward the street, toward his home. He doesn’t look back. He doesn’t even answer any of the texts Jeno and Renjun send him to ask him if he’s okay. And he certainly doesn’t think twice about the fact that Donghyuck’s stayed silent.

Silence, Mark thinks, might be the best thing for him right now. Even if he wishes it weren’t.

*

“You think someone beat him up?” Mark asks, eyes wide as Jaemin tells him what he’s discovered.

After Mark left Friday night, the rest of the group went to Renjun’s where, apparently, Jaemin noticed bruising all up Jeno’s back and sides. Jeno had been defensive and, perhaps, a little angry at Jaemin’s insistence to tell him what’s actually going on with him, but got no real response. It’s sent Jaemin into a tizzy. A very deep, worrisome tizzy.

Now, Monday morning, Jaemin’s told them all what he thinks is going on. Well, minus Donghyuck. Mark hasn’t spoken to Donghyuck at all over the weekend and he had decided to forgo meeting up with him this morning. Mark wonders if he’s simply running late or if he’s trying to avoid everyone. Both are feasible.

“I know what I saw,” Jaemin says, with a little more force than normal. He’s worried they won’t believe him, but Jaemin’s never lied. At least, never to them. If he says something is up with Jeno and that there are more serious wounds Jeno is hiding, who are they to say no? “They were bad. This isn’t a door he ran into or a tree he fell out of. Something is going on and I think we need to find out what it is.”

“Should we wait?” Chenle asks. “I mean, I want to know what’s going on as much as the next person, but he’d tell us, right? Should we be digging into his private life?”

Jaemin chews on his lower lip before saying, “He’s getting injured. Badly. And I think we have more than a right to ask. Disappearing for the weekend to show up completely beaten to a pulp? And it’s getting worse. You have to see that.”

“No harm in asking,” Mark agrees. “But maybe give it a week or so. You don’t want him blowing up on you again. Let’s see if now that you’ve spotted the injuries if he’ll come to you, yeah?”

Solemnly, Jaemin nods. It’s then Mark catches sight of a shock of red over Jaemin’s head and his heart decides to try and get a head start at running away before his body can catch up.

“I should go,” he mutters, eyes following Donghyuck, who makes his way through the crowd to his locker. It’s still a few feet away from them all, but he’s close enough. Mark needs to leave before Donghyuck looks up and sees them all.

They all follow his gaze and, at first, none of them say anything. It’s Renjun who speaks up first. “Whatever happened between you two can’t be this serious. Can it?”

Oh, he doesn’t know the half of it. Mark tries to dodge their curious looks by discovering that their ceiling tiles definitely need to be replaced. Wow, those are bad.

“You’re just going to avoid him?”

“I’d rather call it ‘giving him space’. If he wants to talk, he can come to me,” Mark decides. They all seem very skeptical, raised brows and all. He kind of deserves that, he supposes. Mark is usually the one to break first, the one to apologize or forgive the fastest. However, this time, it’s all on Donghyuck.

“Mark—” Jaemin starts.

“I’ll talk to you guys later. I won’t see you at lunch. I’ve got practice.” He steals one last glace to see Donghyuck has definitely spotted them. His eyes are on Mark, hand gripping at his locker door. Mark is the first to break and look away. “Yeah, okay. See you.”

Without another word, Mark marches away. Away from his friends. Away from Donghyuck. And definitely away from all his problems.

Because if there’s one thing Mark’s discovered about himself over the years. It’s that he’s a coward.

*

Donghyuck’s always been very insistent about Mark calling him after dream jumping, especially if he gets injured. So, when he wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and his arm bleeding from a bullet graze, he seriously thinks about picking up his phone. He thinks about it. But he doesn’t.

It’s been a few weeks since they’ve spoken. Twenty-three days if Mark has his math correct. Then again, he’s trying not to get too obsessed with it because he’s trying to give himself space, just as much as he’s trying to give it to Donghyuck. While Donghyuck may have mastered the art of pretend, Mark sure hasn’t. He needs time to try and do that. Even if he’s not completely sure he wants to.

His life, he’s discovered, has become a complete contradiction. He wants to stop thinking about Donghyuck, but he can’t. And part of him doesn’t want to. Because Donghyuck’s been the center of his life for years and it’s so hard to live a life without a sun to revolve around.

He thinks that there has to be a reason why Donghyuck hasn’t reached out. Because, while Mark’s doing it mostly for himself, to try and sort out his feelings on the whole thing, Donghyuck probably won’t do that. He probably doesn’t need the time because he’s spent so long ignoring what happened between them, lying through his teeth when Mark tried to dig closer to the truth. It’s possible Donghyuck’s decided that this is better for them. This break. Or maybe he’s completely unsure of how to proceed. Donghyuck’s never been the best at starting serious conversations. That’s usually Mark’s territory.

Either way, they’re left in a limbo. Mark knows he should be taking it as a kind of blessing, to finally get a moment to think and move on, but it feels more like a curse. Selfishly, he hopes it feels like that for Donghyuck, too.

So, yeah, he thought about calling Donghyuck and giving up their cold-war. In the end, he decides against it. He goes to his parents’ room to wake up his mom. She bandages his arm up with a sigh, kisses his forehead, and they both head back to bed.

He doesn’t fall back to sleep. Instead, he stares up at his ceiling for the rest of the night until the sun finally comes up. By the time it does, he’s exhausted. Unfortunately, he still has to go to school, so he gets up sluggishly and readies himself.

He heads out a little too early, but his parents don’t say anything about it. He ends up spending his morning in the library, a place he knows his friends won’t look for him. He’s not trying to avoid them. Well, he sort of is, but it’s not because he doesn’t want to see them. It’s just that he doesn’t want to have to deal with Donghyuck being there or for more expressions of mixed pity and exhaustion that are usually sent his way these days.

When the bell rings, he heads down to homeroom, passing Jeno’s locker on the way. Oddly enough, it appears very much untouched. Jeno’s usually there when Mark walks passed so they can chat for a bit before racing off when the final bell goes. Although, lately, all Mark seems to get is a nod before Jeno slips away before anyone else can spot him. Ever since Jaemin told him about the injuries, Mark’s been on high-alert. He spots them before his brain can process what they actually are. Today, however, Jeno is completely missing and Mark debates on whether or not he should be worried.

He can’t make Jeno talk if he doesn’t want to. That wouldn’t be right. But that doesn’t mean he’s not worried. Something is definitely going on and Mark’s been so focused on his own issues to really focus on Jeno. Pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, Mark can’t help but think he’s a terrible friend. He should be out there, demanding answers and he’s not.

Then again, maybe it’s a good thing he’s not. It’s not like he’s in a good headspace to demand anything from anyone, much less Jeno, who very clearly doesn’t want to talk.

Mark tries to listen to his teacher, tries to follow the notes, but they all end up turning into nothing by the time lunch comes around. He wonders if his grades will drop. If it’ll effect his possible scholarship too much. He feels too much like a zombie when he makes it to his locker, pulls out his gym bag and lunch, and heads off toward the gym. Even when the coach cancels, Mark ends up going. It gets his mind off things.

Dressed in his shorts and jersey, Mark grabs one of the basketballs. Mark’s never really wanted to go professional, though he’s been told he could. He’s got the speed and the reflexes. But Mark’s heart never laid with sports. It was just something to do, something to put on his transcript, something to get a scholarship out of.

He knows he’s going to have to continue through university if he does get the scholarship, but after that he can do whatever he wants and he’s okay with that plan. It’s the only solid plan he has. Despite his issues with Donghyuck, Mark’s never liked uncertainty. It makes things just so much harder.

He’s sweaty and panting when he makes a throw—nothing-but-net—and spots Jaemin by the door when he catches the ball on the bounce. He must have been completely zoned out because when he looks at the clock on the wall, almost an hour has passed. Class will be starting soon. Running a hand through his hair, he sighs.

Jaemin looks tired, if not a little dejected. It’s not a good look on him. He’s always been so full of life. Now, he looks like he wants to crawl into a hole and never come out. Mark relates. Boy, does he relate. Still, Jaemin’s always been the braver of the two of them, always willing to stick his nose into things even when he knows he’ll get backlash. He doesn’t take Jeno’s or anyone else’s attitude. If Jaemin wants answers, he’ll die searching for it. Unlike Mark, who tends to hide and avoid.

“What do you need, Jaemin?” he asks, slightly out of breath. He bounces the ball and tosses it through the basket again.

Jaemin sits on the bench. “Where’s the rest of the team?”

“Coach cancelled,” he says. Using the bottom of his jersey, he wipes the sweat from his forehead. He knows he must look like a mess and, to be honest, he doesn’t really care. “Thought I’d get some practice in, anyway. But, seriously, what’s up? You look like you want to talk.”

“You look like you’re running yourself into the ground,” he replies and Mark snorts. Well, he’s not wrong. “Please tell me you’re not avoiding Donghyuck so much that you’re avoiding all of us and forcing yourself into an early grave.”

“No,” he says. “I’m not. I’m giving space. Now, stop deflecting. What’s wrong with you?”

Leaning forward so he can rest his chin in his hands, Jaemin asks, “Have you heard from Jeno at all? Like, today. Or this weekend?”

Mark shakes his head. “Not recently. I did notice he wasn’t at his locker this morning, though. He’s usually there when I get to homeroom. Did something happen?”

There’s something in Jaemin’s expression that screams hesitance, as if he knows something, but is too scared to say anything. Even if Mark isn’t going to push it, it gives him pause. So, something _had_ happened, then.

But Jaemin’s head shakes and he says, “Had another fight and I haven’t heard from him since Friday.”

“Oh.” Mark glances back at the basket, deciding on if he should ask or not. Jaemin looks like he’s on the fence about what he’s willing and not willing to say. Still, he places the ball under his arm and moves to take a seat beside Jaemin, offering, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Just,” he sighs, “not really up for anything really. Talking. People. I want to go home and sleep my woes away.”

“Your woes? What are you? Ninety?”

Jaemin kicks his ankle to get him to stop laughing. Mark spots him trying not to smile, so he knows he’s not actually in trouble. “Shut up. You know what I mean.”

“I do know what you mean.”

Sometimes, Mark wonders how they both ended up in these situations. He wonders why life decided that this was what they needed to deal with. Jaemin doesn’t deserve all this worry. He deserves happiness and an easy life with no struggles. He hopes that everything will work out, that Jeno will give Jaemin a chance and that they can be together with no more problems to speak of. That would be nice. Then, at least one of them would have it together.

Tearing his eyes from the ball in his hands, he catches Jaemin staring. “What?”

“Nothing,” Jaemin says. “Just checking out Donghyuck’s work.”

“Donghyuck’s what?” When Jaemin taps the bridge of his own nose, Mark scoffs. “Right. Little bugger.”

Because he is. That’s exactly what he is. A stubborn, totally infuriating, and stupidly attractive little bugger.

“Only when he wants to be. What happened to you?”

Mark raises his brows and follows Jaemin’s gaze to the bandage wrapped around his bicep. He had almost forgotten that happened. It doesn’t hurt anymore, so that likely means it’s healed. He can probably unwrap it now that he’s thinking about it.

“Oh, uh, bullet graze,” he says.

“Excuse me, what?”

Mark allows him to take his arm. Carefully, he turns it, checking out the bandage. There’s not much to see, but Jaemin would continue to bug him until he could get his hands on it.

“Whose…” Jaemin’s voice falls as he meets Mark’s gaze.

“Little girl’s,” he says. “From America, I think. Not the worst I’ve had, but it was closed. Managed to jump before it got worse.”

Meaning, it took a little more effort than he would like to admit to get her to finally wake up. Truth be told, he had been a bit worried, standing between her small body and a firing squad. If he hadn’t woken her, would he have died? Mark doesn’t know. He’s had horrific wounds, but nothing that pierced his throat or his heart. Everything’s always been slightly off, much to his relief.

Jaemin lets go and rubs at his temples. “Be careful, would you? I can only handle one friend getting injured at a time. Does Donghyuck know?”

“That I nearly got shot during a dream jump? Nah. It happened after we stopped, um, talking.” Mark rubs at his nose again, looking away. “It’s fine, though. It really wasn’t bad. I just keep the bandage on it during the day so it doesn’t rub against my uniform. Anyway, class is going to start soon and I need to hit the showers. You sure you’re good?”

Jaemin nods. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” But as Mark makes his way to the change rooms, Jaemin calls out his name. “Um, just…I have a question.”

Mark turns. Waiting.

“If—If you did something that Donghyuck didn’t want you to do, but you did it anyway because you thought it was the right choice, and you guys fought, what would you do?”

For a moment, Mark doesn’t respond. He spins the basketball between his fingers, head cocked to the side. Then, he says, “Give some space for us to calm down and then try again.” He gives Jaemin a light smile. “Just give him some time, Nana. I’m sure what you did was right. Even if it wasn’t played out in the best way.”

*

Mark is struggling through his math homework Friday night, when his phone rings. He frowns at the number. Why would Jeno’s parents be calling him?

“Hello?” he answers.

“Mark?” It’s Jeno’s father. His voice is a bit gruff and kind of distracted. “Mark, have you seen Jeno?”

Sitting up, Mark shakes his head, knowing full-well that Jeno’s dad can’t see him. “No. Not recently. Not since Friday.”

“Friday? Wait, did you say ‘Friday’?”

“Yeah, we hung out Friday night, but I left early. Haven’t seen him since.” Something isn’t sitting right in his chest and Mark stands, trying to stretch it out. “Mr. Lee, is Jeno missing?”

He hears the faint sound of someone choking. Then, a sniffle. “We don’t know. If he contacts you, we need you to call us. Please, just call us.”

“Yeah, of course,” he says. “Do you want help? Is there anything I can do?”

“No, no. Just let us know if he calls or texts you. We’re going to call Renjun and Jaemin, see if we can narrow down the places he’d go.”

“Okay,” he agrees. “Yeah, yeah, okay. Let me know if you find him.”

“We will.”

The phone cuts off and Mark takes a seat, legs numb along with his mind. Jeno is missing. He hangs his head, burying his fingers into his hair.

Weeks and Mark has had no idea what Jeno is going through, what he still could be going through. Has he runaway? No, that isn’t like Jeno. Although, maybe Mark couldn’t say that because it could very well be what Jeno’s like now. All he can see is Jeno smiling as if nothing’s wrong; despite the bruises, the cuts. He smiled through all that and Mark said nothing.

He can’t help but feel like this is all his fault. He told them all to wait, to let Jeno come to them, all because he didn’t think it right to dig their noses into Jeno’s business. Now, he regrets it. Boy, does he regret it. If he had just asked, if he had let Jaemin ask, Jeno might still be here.

His phone dings and he knows it’s the group chat. Even if he isn’t active on it as much anymore, he still keeps it open just in case. He likes to watch them all go at each other in the messages, all jokes and memes and gifs. Jeno isn’t online. Everyone else is.

**Nana:**

**Jeno is missing**

That one message starts up a storm. Renjun tells them that Jeno’s parents called him as well. Jisung and Chenle panic with one too many letters in their words. Donghyuck is strangely quiet, but his icon keeps sliding down to the bottom, showing he’s reading everything.

“Fuck,” Mark breathes, tossing his phone across his bed.

All these months he’s been so focused on himself while Jeno’s been struggling. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. When did Mark stop looking after them? He remembers when Donghyuck and Jaemin joked about him being a leader. So much for being a leader, he thinks. Bitterness settles on his tongue.

His phone buzzes.

**Taeyong:**

**Breathe, Mark.**

**Don’t worry. He’ll be okay.**

**I know it.**

Mark wants to ask him if he knows that because he can read all their minds, but he also knows that Taeyong doesn’t have that strong of a bond with Jeno and definitely can’t pick him up from a distance. Which means he’s going off pure instinct. Luckily, Taeyong’s always had good instincts. Mark trusts his word more than he trusts himself.

If Taeyong says Jeno will be okay, then Jeno will be okay.

He ends up trying to call Jeno, but he never picks up. It keeps going straight to voicemail. Mark thinks about calling Jeno’s parents back to ask if they want him to go out searching. He thinks about calling Jaemin, knowing he’s probably going crazy. He thinks about calling Donghyuck because, _god_ , he just wants him here.

It isn’t until an hour later, his hands shaking as he still debates on the best course of action, when his phone brightens with a new message.

**Jeno:**

**I’m safe.**

**With Nana.**

**I’m so sorry.**

Mark collapses, missing the bed and hitting the floor. He scrambles to type back a response. He wants to be mad. He wants to be pissed. But all he feels is relief because, _thank god_ , he’s okay. He’s okay and he’s safe with Jaemin. That doesn’t mean Mark won’t wring his neck the next time he sees him for giving him a mini panic attack.

Oh, Jeno’s going to get an earful.

 _Fucking hell_.

*

**Jaemin:**

**Meet me at the park near  
your place**

That’s what Mark gets right after lunch on Sunday. It’s not a question, not even a request. It’s an order, and Mark doesn’t mind going. He’s hoping that maybe Jaemin will explain what happened with Jeno and the night before, so he agrees to meet up later in the evening.

He hasn’t heard much else from the others, though he’s sure they’re all at Jaemin’s because there had been a message from Chenle about doing just that in the group chat. Shortly after reading it, Renjun texts him, inviting him to join. Mark ends up saying no.

Is this avoidance getting a little out of control? Absolutely.

The sun is sinking when he finally leaves his house. He drives his way to the park, the one he’s been to several times with both just Donghyuck and the rest of the group. He can’t remember the last time they hung out here. It must have been a while ago, though. Even still, it doesn’t look any different to what he remembers. The paint is peeling off the jungle gym bars and they’ve put in new gravel, but that’s about it.

Mark heads over to the monkey bars, lifting himself up so he can sit on top of them while he waits. He looks up past the leaves of the trees that border the park and up toward the sky, swathed with red and gold. From where he is, it lights up the background like fire and Mark’s heart aches a bit.

Maybe he’s being silly. Maybe he should have done what he always has and pushed through. He should have shoved his feelings down and let Donghyuck and his friendship breathe again. Because this isn’t what he wanted. He never wanted it to end up this way, with them avoiding each other like the plague. He’s not sure how much longer he can hold on before he crumbles and gives in.

A gasp echoes from behind him, the wind not quite catching it. Turning, he finds Jaemin and Donghyuck at the entrance. He grips the bar beneath him. He should have known Jaemin might try something like this. He wonders if Donghyuck knew this was where their night was headed.

Mark studies Donghyuck’s form. Even in the ugly, yellow glow of the street lamp he looks iridescent. His edges are soft from the light as he stands there in shorts and t-shirt and looking just as he did weeks ago. Although, his hair has faded from striking red to something more akin to copper or orange. It looks good.

Taking a shuddering breath, Mark turns away. He’s not sure he wants to do this right now. He wasn’t ready, wasn’t prepared. Jaemin knew that, too, and yet here they are. Everything feels like such a mess and Mark doesn’t know how to clean it up, but he does know that he’s not up to doing this tonight. Or tomorrow.

Still, his heart pounds and his body yearns to look at Donghyuck again because that’s what he’s known. From the moment they met, Donghyuck always been the center of his life. Mark’s body reacts to it accordingly while his mind wants him to run. To give up and get over Donghyuck once and for all.

“I’m sorry.”

Mark tenses at the sound of Donghyuck’s voice. Even though it’s painfully weak, it carries on the wind and into Mark’s ears as if Donghyuck were right beside him. Weeks. It’s been weeks since he’s heard Donghyuck’s voice.

The gravel crunches and Mark keeps his eyes locked on the sky above him because, _no_ , he doesn’t want to do this right now. Donghyuck doesn’t get to just apologize and expect Mark to just take it. He’s done with this game.

However, Donghyuck moves in his peripheral, taking a spot right in front of Mark so he can look up at him. “I’m so sorry.”

His tongue is heavy, his throat dry. Is he asking too much? Is this unfair? Donghyuck’s known for months about what happened to them, said nothing about it, and then continued to cling to him as if they had never kissed at all. Okay, sure, Mark should have approached the topic so much sooner, but he also hadn’t expected the act to go on for this long. And he certainly hadn’t expected Donghyuck to lie to his face about it.

Was he that ashamed of his dream? Did he regret it? Worst of all, did he figure out Mark liked him and simply chose to ignore it? Mark isn’t sure if he should be angry about that or thankful. It’s such a thin line and sometimes he teeters to one side or the other.

He knows he shouldn’t expect anything out of Donghyuck because, yeah, Mark’s pretty sure he’d have a hard time bringing up the dream if the situations were reversed. But he can’t stop his feelings.

And maybe this isn’t even about Donghyuck pretending it never happened. Maybe this has everything to do with the fact that Donghyuck is willing to lie to his face about it.

Best friends, no matter what, don’t lie to each other.

Mark was hoping he was held at a much higher esteem than this.

“Look,” Donghyuck sighs, rubbing at his nose, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“That’s not surprising.” He’s shocked that his voice doesn’t break, that it carries a bit of grit. The words slip out of his mouth before he can stop them, cold and jarring.

“Fine,” Donghyuck huffs, tone so much stronger than before. “Fine. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole. I’m sorry because I know I hurt you. And I acknowledge what happened, okay? I acknowledge it! But I can’t…” Mark tears his gaze away from the sky when he hears the shake in Donghyuck’s voice, when it faulters completely into nothing. Donghyuck’s head is hanging down, his copper hair shadowing his face. He’s gripping at his pants as if it’ll help keep him grounded. “You know I can’t—” His voice breaks again.

Mark’s heart breaks at the same time. Like Mark, Donghyuck hates crying, hates being vulnerable. It doesn’t matter if it’s Mark or Jaemin or anyone else, he hates it and then, consequentially, hates himself. Mark thinks that’s something they both need to work on if they want to get any farther in their relationship. Platonic or not.

Mark jumps from the monkey bars. He lands in front of Donghyuck, who jolts in surprise, round eyes shooting up to stare. Without another word, he pulls Donghyuck into his arms, tucking his head beneath Mark’s chin, and sighs. Warmth sinks into him as Donghyuck wraps his arms around Mark’s middle and leans in. Something about it eases all his worries, his tensions. It’s then that he realizes that he’s been torturing himself, and, perhaps, even Donghyuck because of the distance they made. That he made.

“I’m sorry,” Donghyuck whispers into the collar of Mark’s shirt. His lips brush against Mark’s skin and his hold tightens. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

Mark doesn’t say anything because, in all honesty, he’s not sure what to say.

“That night—”

“Don’t,” Mark interrupts in a whisper.

Donghyuck peels himself away so he can catch Mark’s eye. “We should talk about it.”

“And we will,” he promises. “Later. I don’t think—I don’t think I can do it right now. I’m sorry, too. For avoiding you. I thought it would somehow help or something. I don’t know. I was an idiot for thinking so.”

“You have a habit of doing that,” Donghyuck says, hands drifting to Mark’s hips. Mark’s find a place on Donghyuck’s shoulders. The points of contact burn. “Avoiding me. Avoiding things.”

“Need I remind you that you did exactly the same thing,” Mark quips and Donghyuck looks away. “I forgive you, you know? Can’t stay mad at you for long.”

The corners of Donghyuck’s lips quirk. “I know. And I forgive you, too.” Hesitantly, he steps back and they let go of one another. He frowns at the ground. “We’re going to have to talk about it.”

“Yeah. Yeah, we will. For now, though, I’d rather just postpone.” Skirting around Donghyuck, he moves to the swings to sit down. He gestures for Donghyuck to join him. “Instead, tell me about Jeno because that’s the main reason I agreed to meet up with Jaemin.”

“You didn’t know I was coming?”

“No idea.”

Donghyuck glances toward the entrance of the park. Jaemin isn’t there anymore. “Sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“Maybe,” Mark says. “But without him we probably wouldn’t have talked for a lot longer. Right?”

Donghyuck kicks the gravel and nods. “I guess. I just wanted…” His voice dies out. “I don’t know what I wanted. Time to think? Time to let you think?”

“We’re such a mess,” Mark says with a chuckle.

“You think? When did you find that out?”

“Oh, shut up and tell me about Jeno.”

They sit there, on the swings with the sun fading out above them, as Donghyuck explains what happened. From the moment they discovered what Jeno was up to—“Underground fighting, can you believe that? All the way in the Red-light District”—to Jeno showing up on Jaemin’s porch, beaten up by a local gang demanding money.

“He’s going on Saturday morning,” Donghyuck explains. “Jaemin wants me to tag along. You, too, if you’re up for it.”

“You think I’m going to let you go into the Red-light District all by yourself again? God, I can’t believe you did that. I mean, I can’t believe that Jeno’s been doing that for months, but also that you and Jaemin followed him into a club. Do you have a death wish?” Mark ruffles his hair with a groan. “I honestly don’t even know what to say. I can’t tell if I’m angry or impressed or just completely mystified.”

“I’d like to pick the last two, please,” Donghyuck says with a cheeky sort of smile. “We did manage to get in and get out without any issues. Technically. I mean, Jaemin kind of got Jeno knocked out in the ring, but other than that it went okay. For the most part.”

Mark lets his head fall into his hands. “You’re insane.”

“Nah, just a bit reckless.”

Snorting, Mark turns his head to look at Donghyuck, fighting the smile that wants to rise. “One of these days, you’re going to get yourself into so much trouble. And then what?”

“You’ll bail me out.” The answer is so sure, so serious, that Mark can only blink. Donghyuck grins at him. “Right?”

“R-Right. Yeah, I guess.” Sighing, he leans back on the swing. “Jeno shouldn’t go. It’s just asking for more issues. What if this gang doesn’t stop after this?”

Donghyuck shrugs. “We can’t stop him. He’s going one way or another. The best thing to do is to make sure he’s got all the firepower he can have behind him when he does.”

“Oh, so now you’re the ‘firepower’, huh?”

“I’ve always been the firepower. Quite literally, too.”

Mark frowns. “You know that’s not all you are, right?”

Throwing his head back to stare at the stars, Donghyuck scoffs. “Oh, please, Mark—”

“No, seriously.” He pokes Donghyuck’s arm until he looks at him. “Seriously, you aren’t just some loose cannon people see you as. You’re more than that. Yeah, sure, your power is the most offensive of all of ours, but you aren’t your power, Hyuck.”

“Yeah, well, as of right now, I’m the loose cannon we need,” Donghyuck mutters. “You don’t get much choice in the matter. Jeno’s powers are useless, Jaemin’s won’t be any help unless he has some kind of plant, and you can’t do shit while you’re awake.”

“Wow, you sure know how to bring up someone’s confidence.”

Donghyuck laughs. “You know I’m right. If we’re going into this, you need a loose cannon. Just in case everything goes to shit. I can burn the place down. I’m good at that.”

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Mark says, sighing out his words.

“Do what?”

“Belittle yourself into a monster. Joke about the past even though we both know it’s anything but a joke.”

Kicking his feet, Donghyuck says, “Well, until I can do something productive with this power, I have to deal with what I have. Which is a crappy hand in life. If I don’t joke about it, it becomes just a little too real for me.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Horrific.”

Mark holds out his hand. For a moment, Donghyuck simply stares at it as if he doesn’t know what to do with it. Then, slowly, he places his hand in Mark’s.

“We’re going to do this,” Mark says, firmly, “together.”

Donghyuck’s smile is small, practically non-existent to anyone who doesn’t know the miniscule movements of his face. His eyes glitter in the lamp light as he squeezes Mark’s hand in a silent agreement. They stay like that, settling into the quiet, and Mark hopes that this means things are going up from here.

*

Jaemin had pretty much rehashed the whole story to Mark on Monday morning. By that point, Mark had time to think about it, firmly stating that this was the stupidest plan they had ever come up with. Going up against a gang wasn’t like trespassing or breaking and entering. They’re looking at people who have no problem ruffing someone up just for the heck of it. Swaying him to agree hadn’t been difficult because, no, he wasn’t going to let them go without him, but he had also laid down some ground rules.

Jeno and Mark did all the talking. Jeno was the person they wanted and Mark knew he was the only one out of the four of them that wouldn’t run his mouth off should things turn nasty. Jaemin and Donghyuck, on the other hand, were backup. They hold back unless they’re needed. There’s no way Mark’s letting Donghyuck anywhere near a fight unless they get desperate. As much as Mark has faith in Donghyuck and his abilities, they’re still a little wild at times. The last thing he wants is the whole club coming down on them in flames.

Of course, they had a plan. A fairly decent one considering everything, until they show up at the club and Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung are there. Mark’s stomach sinks. It sinks even more when Renjun crosses his arms and raises his chin in the biggest form of defiance and says, “You kept this from us. We’re here to help.” They aren’t leaving, which means Mark’s just going to have to switch up his plan a bit. Not a big deal.

In a way, he’s kind of glad to have more backup. Granted, he certainly didn’t want the extra backup to be three more teenagers. Perhaps, he should have told Taeyong about all this.

It’s too late by the time they get inside the club. Eight very young gang members wait for them. It’s a large room with a bar off to the side and a boxing ring set up in the center. Most of the lights are off, cloaking the corners in shadows, but someone has turned on the spotlights over the ring, casting it in a yellow glow.

One of the boys, who’s already in the ring, turns to greet them with a beaming grin, and leans on the ropes. “Ah, so he finally arrives. Man of the hour.”

“Where’s your leader?” Jeno asks, eyes searching the rest of the club.

“Figured he didn’t need to be here for this,” the boy replies. Mark raises a brow, wondering if that’s why they all looked so young; sent by their older members to stir up trouble for them. “He thought we could handle you. And look at this, you brought friends. Doesn’t matter. They can watch while you get your face rearranged.”

Mark reaches out to squeeze Donghyuck’s arm. He’s not sure if he means it as a warning or as reassurance, but Donghyuck nods at him anyway and steps back while Mark and Jeno move toward the ring. They keep hesitant just in case something takes a turn for the worst. 

“Unless, of course,” the boy continues, “you’re going to be good and just hand us the money.”

“I can’t do that,” Jeno tells him.

The boy clicks his tongue. With the utmost ease, he slips under the ropes and jumps down. The two boys that were with him follow close behind.

“That’s really too bad. Although, at least we get a show out of it, right?”

Jeno’s clenches his fists so hard that his knuckles turn white. Mark has half a mind to move in front of him, tell him to unwind. They can’t start a fight until it’s time. Whoever this kid is, he’s got a tongue almost as bad as Donghyuck’s. Mark can practically see his words crawling under Jeno’s skin.

“I guess I’m fighting Changbin, again?” Jeno asks, voice surprisingly calm despite his body language.

“Changbin?” The boy erupts into laughter. It’s reverberates off the walls. “God, no! You really think we’d let him fight again after he lost to you? Uh uh.” He wiggles a finger, smile still wide in an eerie sort of way. “No, you’re fighting Woojin.”

“I don’t think you should be allowed to change the fighters,” Mark says.

The boy’s eyes slide to Mark, almost as if he hadn’t realized he was there all along. “Yeah? Well, you don’t make the rules, pretty boy. I do. And if I say Jeno’s fighting Woojin, then he’s fighting Woojin. Get it?”

“And how do we know it’ll be a fair fight?”

Something flashes in the boy’s eyes. He moves slowly toward Mark, studying his face and his form. It’s common knowledge for anyone who knows him, that he doesn’t like confrontation. He doesn’t fight. However, Mark’s not afraid to if he has to. Besides, Renjun and Donghyuck are much more intimidating than this kid in front of him. It makes it so much easier to keep an unreadable expression. Even once they’re face to face.

“Who are you?”

“You can call me Hypnos.”

The boy snorts. “Right. Sure. I’m Chan. And this is my crew. And this is my,” he throws his hands out, “domain right now. I’d appreciate it if you kept that mouth of yours shut or you’ll be the one in the ring.”

“And I would appreciate it if you got out of my face,” Mark says. There’s no malice. No tension. Just a simple statement.

Chan’s eyes wander over Mark for a moment before he snorts once again. “Can’t scare you, can I?”

“You can try,” Mark tells him. “But right now, we have better things to be doing. Don’t you think? Is Woojin a fair match to Jeno?”

Chan’s grin widens. “Totally fair.”

Sure, Mark thinks. He knows that kind of smile, that kind of glint in his eye, and he knows that Chan is lying. Unfortunately, there’s not much he can do about it. In and out, he reminds himself. All they have to do, is hope that Jeno can win a fight one last time and then get out as fast as they can. Of course, sometimes the best laid plans are never that easy.

Glancing at Jeno, Mark nods. Jeno pulls his shirt off as he marches over to the platform, lifting himself up the side and under the ropes. By the time he’s picking up the bandages left in the corner of the ring to wrap up his hands, another boy is joining him.

To Mark, Woojin doesn’t appear any more threatening than Jeno does in terms of body height and mass. They’re fairly similar, in fact. Mark thinks that might be a good thing, but judging by Chan’s smile Mark knows that something sneaky is going to come up.

“How about you be the referee, Mr. Hypnos?” Chan asks, tossing Mark a whistle. “I think you’d be a fair one.”

Mark snatches the whistle out of the air with a practiced catch. He studies it for a while before joining Jeno and Woojin in the ring. He’s never been in a boxing ring, never really _wanted_ to be in one, and yet here he is, about to referee a match. There are only a few rules Mark actually knows about boxing, but he also knows that underground fighting has made those sorts of rules a bit flimsier than what’s comfortable. Mark just hopes that Jeno knows what he’s doing.

“Well,” Chan announces, “let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

“Ready?” Mark asks Jeno.

Jeno nods and puts up his fists, Woojin mirroring him. “Ready.”

There was a time, in middle school, that Donghyuck got into a fight. Well, not quite a fight. That would imply that the other person even had a chance. Mark remembers it happening so fast. One minute a boy in the hallway was taunting Donghyuck about his family and the next thing he knew Donghyuck wasn’t at his side anymore, straddling the kid and breaking his nose several times over.

Donghyuck apparently had a thing for breaking noses back then.

Mark thinks back on it sometimes because it’s the only real time Donghyuck’s lashed out without his powers, without a second thought. It was fast, a complete blur. It was over in what felt like seconds because the teacher was there, yanking Donghyuck away toward the principal’s office and Mark was left wondering what on Earth just happened.

This, Mark decides, is achingly slow.

Every punch, every hit, feels as if it’s going in slow motion, and Mark’s stomach keeps rising and falling like he’s on a rollercoaster. It’s unpleasant and uncontrollable. Mark wants to look away, but he can’t. He has to watch Jeno carefully just in case.

Hand gripping the whistle, Mark tries to drown out the shouting coming from the gang members as they pound their fists against the side of the ring. He doesn’t even try to look at his friends. Distractions aren’t going to help them now.

When Woojin swings wide, Mark side-steps out of the way. Everything feels so even, so fair. Jeno’s holding his own as calmly as he can and Mark is impressed. He’s inching toward a panic, but Jeno doesn’t seem to be anywhere near that. Then again, Jeno’s always been the calmest out of the group. It takes a lot to shove him into a tantrum.

“Come on, Woojin!” one of them shouts. “Hurry up.”

The shouts must have gained Jeno’s attention because he faulters just slightly and Woojin lands a solid punch to the side of his face. Jeno trips over his own feet, right into Mark, who straightens him out as quickly as possible. Jeno’s pushing him away before he can say anything. Mark can see the blood along Jeno’s cheek and his eyes narrow. Something doesn’t feel right.

His eyes snap to Woojin’s fist just as he’s about to slam it into Jeno’s gut. If Mark wasn’t looking, he wonders if he’d catch on. The bare skin on Woojin’s fist morphs just slightly. Up this close, Mark can see the greying of his skin tone and the way it hardens much like rock. By the time he pulls back, it’s normal again.

The whistle is to his lips before he can realize what he’s doing and he blows, long and loud and _oh so_ jarring that even his own ears ring.

Jeno stops. Woojin doesn’t.

Mark’s shoved to the side as Woojin launches himself at Jeno, tackling him to the ground. Yells fill the club. He can’t tell if they’re from anger or from cheering, but they’re so loud that they echo off the walls. Jeno tries to block, but Woojin’s fist of stone slams into his face and Mark sees Jeno’s eyes roll into the back of his head.

Glancing up, he catches sight of Donghyuck’s copper hair as he gets onto the platform and leaps onto Jeno’s fallen form. Mark uses the ropes as a springboard and ricocheted himself straight into Woojin, knocking them both to the ground. Woojin knees him in the stomach, expelling all the air in Mark’s lungs, and then tries to push him off. Despite the sharp pain, Mark shoves Woojin’s shoulders down to keep him there.

As the lights flicker, the shadows grow and Mark thinks that someone in the gang may be awakening their powers in response to the unfolding fight around them. Mark only just catches the words “Vox, ears!” before slamming his hands over his ears.

The low tone is thunderous and full of vibration. It’s uncomfortable, just sitting below where the average person would want it, and it makes Mark’s ears ring. Strong, unhinging, and something that could easily burst an eardrum. Around him, Mark can see the gang shouting, covering their ears, trying to reorient themselves. It’s a good distraction. Too bad Woojin is stubborn because he doesn’t care for the noise and simply reels back and punches Mark in the face. While the hit is slightly awkward from their position, the rock of Woojin’s fist hits nose before slicing at his cheek. He can feel the blood forming. Chenle’s noise drops a tone and Woojin winces, hands to his ears. Mark pushes him back down onto the canvas.

Somewhere in his peripheral, Jaemin’s pink hair flashes. He’s crawling under the ropes to get to Donghyuck and Jeno. All Mark has to do is figure out a way to end all this before it gets even messier. If only Woojin would stay down while he figured it out.

Grappling with the fighter, Mark wishes he had just a little bit more muscle. Maybe then he might have a chance. Then again, Woojin can turn himself into stone so maybe a bit more muscle would be useless. Even still, Mark can’t keep Woojin down for long because he’s being shoved away and Woojin is on his feet. He goes to grab the ropes to help stand himself up when Mark hears a voice from behind him. It sends a shiver down his spine.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Donghyuck’s on his feet, eyes gold, and Mark knows that even more chaos is about to unfold. Mark flinches back as fire erupts around them, clinging to the ropes of the ring and caging them inside. Heat hits in waves. Wide eyed, Woojin looks to Donghyuck and for once, he looks terrified. And for good reason because Donghyuck’s not focused on control. He’s focused on revenge. And his fire wants to burn, licking its way up to his elbows. Among the flames, Donghyuck grins something wicked.

“Haechan,” Mark says as he struggles to his feet. His face is throbbing. He thinks his nose might be broken again. Blood is dripping into his mouth and the taste of copper hits his taste buds. “Hae, you need to keep calm.”

Jaemin clutches at Jeno, eyes glued to Donghyuck’s back. The heated air is suffocating and the smoke is acrid and Mark is struggling to keep his mind focused and his vision clear. Woojin moves to his feet. His skin solidifies into grey rock, from his head to his toes.

“You know,” Donghyuck says, taking a step forward, “I really hate cheaters. Shall we see if I can melt rock?”

Mark steps between them, hands in the air, as Donghyuck raises a fiery hand, ready to strike. “No.”

“Move,” Donghyuck snaps. “Let me melt him into a puddle.”

The flames jump and Mark knows this has to stop before anyone else gets hurt. Whether he wants to believe it or not, Donghyuck will regret injuring someone with his powers. He always has and he always will. Even if he believes that person deserves it at the time.

Not to mention, Donghyuck has no control over his fire, and each time he uses it, it drains him of energy. Mark isn’t sure how much longer Donghyuck will last until he completely drops like a dead weight.

“Extinguish it, Haechan. They’re sufficiently spooked. You need to stop now before it hurts you. Please.”

Donghyuck looks under Mark’s arm at Woojin, who’s taken to moving to the other side of the ring. Then, as Donghyuck steps back, the fire on the ropes vanishes, leaving curling, black smoke behind. Woojin slips cowardly under the ropes, skin normal again.

“Donghyuck,” Mark whispers.

“Tired.”

Mark manages to catch him as he falls, albeit a little ungracefully. Donghyuck’s knees hit the canvas, but the rest of him stays upright, his weight leaning into Mark. Pushing back his copper fringe, Mark checks his face. His skin is paler than normal and sweat has formed along his hairline, but other than that he seems to just be exhausted. At least he’s not injured.

Jeno is still unconscious as Renjun, Jisung, and Chenle hurry to join them on the platform. Mark isn’t sure what to do or what to say. They still have gang members surrounding them and they only have two people with offensive powers—one of them on the verge of falling asleep. From the ground, Chan grins up at them smugly, arms crossed, as if this is everything he expected and more.

Taeyong, he thinks. What he needs is Taeyong and maybe Johnny. They need help and those are the only two people Mark can think to call out to. Please, let Taeyong hear him.

Suddenly, all the lights turn on. It’s nearly blinding. Jaemin wasn’t aware they could be so bright.

“What the _fuck_ is going on here?”

The voice that shatters through the club is familiar and cut-throat. They all turn toward the entrance. Mark thinks that the shorter man of the three additions is Baekhyun, if Donghyuck’s descriptions are anything to go by. While he certainly isn’t sparkly, he has sharp, kohl-lined eyes that relate back to what Donghyuck had told him.

“Man, if looks could kill,” Donghyuck had said. Mark agrees with him now.

Besides, he knows that the taller man is Chanyeol because there’s only one that seems to tower above the rest like Donghyuck had said. That leaves the third man and Mark has no idea who that is. Not that he cares right now. He’s just glad someone else is here to try and straighten this out.

The man Mark assumes is Baekhyun marches his way straight through the gang members as if they aren’t even worth his time and jumps up onto the platform. He squats down next to Jeno and tilts his head.

“Yixing,” he yells across the club, “you need to heal him.”

The other man follows the same path, straight through the gang. It really sinks into Mark how young they are, how they instantly become quiet and hesitant when adults are around.

Yixing smiles at Jaemin, probably to ease his mind, and takes Baekhyun’s spot on the floor. His hands hover over either side of Jeno’s head. Faintly, they start to glow a soft pink.

“Who allowed you in here?” Baekhyun snaps at the gang, who have huddled around Chan like a protection squad.

“We got the key from our boss,” Chan answers, not nearly as intimidated as he should be.

Gritting his teeth, Baekhyun makes a snatching motion through the air and the group of boys clutch at their eyes, voices reaching all sorts of notes they’ve never hit amidst their panic. Mark squints, trying to figure out what happened. Then one of them turns, eyes wide and white and Mark swallows. Blind, he realizes. Baekhyun made them all blind.

Baekhyun slips under the ropes and is moving toward them just as Chanyeol hones in from the other side. Finally, Chan’s eyes hold something other than mischief and ego. He’s spun around and Chanyeol has his collar in his rather large hand.

Baekhyun stops.

“And who gave him the key?” asks Chanyeol. When Chan doesn’t reply, Chanyeol sighs. “I want this to go easy. Tell me, how he got the key?”

“Got it last time he was here,” Chan replies, smoothly.

Chanyeol’s eyes flicker down to Chan’s wrist, where an inked in ‘S’ curls through his skin. His hand tightens and he brings Chan closer. “How about you tell your boss to keep out of my club, yeah?”

Chan snorts. “As if that’ll stop him. You need fighters.”

“I’m not that desperate, kid. So,” Chanyeol says, “how about that message?”

Silence.

Chenyeol’s eyes flash gold. His hand comes up. There’s fire and familiarity about the action. In his arms, Donghyuck gasps. He’s awake and his attention is set on Chanyeol. Never in his life as Donghyuck ever seen a pyrokinetic, especially one so similar to him. 

“Chanyeol,” says Baekhyun, slowly.

The warning is ignored. Chanyeol’s voice is dangerously deep as he says, “You can tell your boss that he’s not needed around anymore. He can take his fighters elsewhere. And if he doesn’t want back away nicely, he can deal with my crew. Understood?”

Chan is still.

“Understood?” Chanyeol snaps, hand hazardously close to Chan’s face.

Finally, Chan blurts, “Fine. Fine. Let me go.”

The gold in Chanyeol’s eyes disappears at the same moment the fire dies. He lets go of Chan fairly simply, but the boy staggers back anyway. Baekhyun snaps his fingers and the stumbling gang halt. The white film disappears and they scramble back when they notice Baekhyun glaring at them.

“I shouldn’t have to say this, but get the fuck out of my club!” he shouts.

The gang bolts. Chan is the last to leave, casting one glaring expression over his shoulder before vanishing up the stairs. Baekhyun steps up to Chanyeol and rests a hand on his shoulder. He must have whispered something because Chanyeol nods and runs a hand through his hair. Then, they head toward the ring.

“Na—Nana?”

Donghyuck’s hands, fingers still scolding, grips onto Mark’s arms as he turns to see Jeno blinking up at Jaemin. Blood still stains his skin, but the rest of the cuts and bruises have completely healed. Mark’s kind of fascinated because he’s never seen another healer before, other than Kun, and he wonders if there are differences. He doesn’t get to think much of it, however, because he’s a bit too distracted by the way Jaemin leans down and kisses Jeno like Jeno is the last drink of water on Earth.

Mark’s happy. This is what they deserved, what they needed. Jaemin’s always wanted to love Jeno unconditionally, for everyone to see, and now he can. He just doesn’t know why his heart hurts when they break away to smile at each other.

Yixing appears in his sight and taps Mark on the nose. There’s a small crack and his cheek tingles and then everything feels fine. He reaches up to touch his face. The skin is healed.

“I can’t heal you,” Yixing tells Donghyuck. “You just need a bit of sleep, is all.”

Donghyuck relaxes into Mark’s side and closes his eyes with a nod. “That sounds nice.”

Mark’s not completely sure, but he thinks that Donghyuck’s temperature isn’t dropping like it normally would. In fact, he just seems to keep burning. It doesn’t settle properly in Mark’s stomach, or his heart. He opens his mouth to say something, but Donghyuck’s eyes are still closed and Mark thinks he might really be asleep this time. So, he presses his lips into a line and listens to Jeno talk with Baekhyun and Chanyeol about clearing up some debts.

Luckily, one good thing came out of this whole turbulent occasion.

*

Taeyong isn’t happy.

That much is obvious.

His eyebrows are pulled in together, his lips set in a frown, and, _god_ , the glare he’s creating could melt ice. Mark can’t stop himself from gulping, quite comically, as he spots Taeyong on the sidewalk just outside the club. Part of him wants to run to him, the other part holds himself back because he still has Donghyuck pressed to his side, still utterly exhausted and warm.

“Hey,” he manages.

The muscle in Taeyong’s jaw tightens. “Hey?” Mark flinches at the sound of his voice. He’s not yelling, but that almost makes it ten times worse. “That’s what you have to say for yourself? Hey?”

 _How much trouble am I in?_ Mark thinks.

“So much fucking trouble, Mark Lee,” Taeyong hisses. “Where’s Jaemin and Jeno?”

“They’re right behind us,” Mark mutters, moving so that Jaemin and Jeno can step out into the morning sun.

Johnny crosses his arms. “Mind telling us why you’re in a restricted area?”

“It’s a really long story,” Jaemin says. Taeyong meets his gaze, searching. Mark knows immediately that Taeyong’s not playing around. He’s going to drag out the answers before anyone can speak. “I guess it’s not that long,” Jaemin adds, probably realizing that Taeyong’s read his memories of the whole ordeal. “We just thought this was the best course of action.”

“To walk into a dangerous part of town and fight a gang? Fucking hell, I thought we raised you better than this,” Taeyong says, rubbing at his temples. “Mark, I’m so disappointed in you.”

“Donghyuck!”

Jungwoo’s jumping out of his jeep, Lucas right after him, and racing toward them. He stumbles to a stop in front of Mark and Donghyuck. Placing his hands on Donghyuck’s cheeks, he turns him this way and that, looking for injures. When he sees none, he sighs and pinches Donghyuck’s shoulder, making him yelp. Donghyuck turns so he’s right against Mark’s chest. It sets off the butterflies in Mark’s stomach even though he knows it’s just a reflex on Donghyuck’s part.

“What the actual fuck, Donghyuck? Do you have a death wish or something? I’m going to murder you when we get home. I swear to god.” He pulls Donghyuck out of Mark’s arms and into a hug, burying his face into Donghyuck’s faded orange hair. “Please tell me you at least kicked their asses.”

“Kind of,” Donghyuck says as he pushes Jungwoo away. Dark circles hang below his eyes, his golden skin dimmer than it should be. Mark’s fingers brush Donghyuck’s elbow and Donghyuck instantly leans back into him. “There was a moment we weren’t sure what was going to happen. But then Jeno’s bosses appeared.”

“Bosses?”

“Jeno’s been underground fighting,” Taeyong announces. “I can’t even begin to tell you how stupid that is. You have way too many people you could have gone to for help. That should have been the last thing on your mind.”

Mark and his friends exchange glances before shooting their gazes to the sidewalk. They all know they should have said something, should have done anything but what they did. Jaemin is right, though. At the time, it felt like the best option, even though they knew it wasn’t the right one.

Sighing, Taeyong points to Mark. “Let’s get you all home.”

As he says it, though, there’s a screech of tires. It gains everyone’s attention. A red SUV swings into view before pulling to an abrupt stop at the side of the road. It isn’t even straight in the parking spot. The door swings open and a man steps out, looking murderous.

He’s handsome. That’s the second thing Mark notices after the glower on his face that somehow still looks attractive. He’s a little broader than Mark’s seen in the pictures, and his brown hair is a little shorter, but it’s definitely Jaehyun, Jaemin’s cousin.

“Jaemin Na!” he shouts. “I’m going to beat your ass!”

“Oh no,” Jaemin whimpers, ducking behind Jeno as Jaehyun marches down the sidewalk.

As he draws closer, he seems to notice Taeyong. His steps slow and the anger seems to ease off his expression, leaving something a little more curious behind. “What are you doing here?

“Mark,” Taeyong replies, as if that explains everything. Mark raises his eyebrow at this. “Wait, Jaemin’s your cousin?”

“You know Jaehyun?” Jaemin questions.

“He’s my neighbor,” answers Taeyong. “How did you know to be here?”

Jaehyun gestures to Jungwoo. “He called me.”

“Oh, small world.”

“Very.” Jaehyun comes to a stop next to Taeyong. For a moment, Taeyong simply stares at him, his eyes wandering up and down Jaehyun’s form. Then, he seems to realize what he’s doing because he looks away, a blush high on his cheekbones. “Jaemin, mind explaining to me why you’re here? And give a good reason.”

“Jeno was in trouble and we wanted to help, but we weren’t sure it was a good idea to tell you guys what’s been happening, so we just decided to go, but then it blew up and we were in a fight and—”

Jaehyun throws up a hand, cutting Jaemin off. “Your hair is pink.”

From the other side of him, Johnny snorts. Mark tries to hide his smile behind the nearest thing, which happens to be Donghyuck’s hair. It smells like a campfire. He really needs to get a grip on himself.

“Oh, yeah,” Jaemin says, putting his free hand into his pink locks.

“I like it. You’re still in trouble, though.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun nods. “Can feel that.”

There’s a beat, just before it happens, where Mark can feel something twist in his gut. Then Donghyuck droops, knees slamming against the pavement. Mark falls with him, yet manages to keep a firm arm around Donghyuck’s waist to keep him upright. He’s burning again, so hot that it feels like it’s singing his skin. But he can’t let go. He won’t let go.

Fear rises in his throat when he realizes that Donghyuck isn’t moving. His breathing is shallow and his face is pale and Mark doesn’t know what to do.

“Duckie?” Jungwoo gets onto the sidewalk to cup Donghyuck’s face. “Can you hear me? Did you take your pills?”

Jaemin watches, grip tightening on Jeno’s hand. “He had one earlier this morning. I made sure of it, but…”

“But what?” 

“He was too quick to use his power,” Mark explains, holding Donghyuck close. “I think he just tired himself out.”

Putting a hand on Donghyuck’s forehead, Jungwoo says, “He’s burning up.”

“Jaemin,” Taeyong says as softly as possible. “What is it?”

“He hasn’t…” Jaemin’s voice trails off when everyone looks at him. “He said not to say anything.”

Mark tenses, arms tightening around Donghyuck’s body. The burning grows and Mark knows something is wrong. He’s known Donghyuck’s been hiding something from him for a while. He thinks back to the way Donghyuck had staggered by his car, looking drained and dizzy. He’s seen it at school, too; Donghyuck vanishing and coming back looking as if he’d just run a marathon, yet saying nothing about it.

Yeah, he’s known something was happening. Why hadn’t he dug deeper?

Slowly, Jungwoo stands. “Say what? Jaemin, this is serious. What’s going on?”

“Hyuck, upped his dosage,” Jaemin blurts.

Mark’s eyes snap down to Donghyuck. His mind is spinning. Out of all the explanations, this wasn’t one of them.

“What do you mean he upped his dosage? When did he do that?”

“Not long ago.”

“He had a bad episode at school. He didn’t want anyone to know. He wanted to fix it himself,” adds Jeno.

Jungwoo kneels back down, whispering to Donghyuck. Mark looks over Jungwoo’s shoulder at Taeyong, desperate for someone to explain this to him. Explain to him how he never realized. Explain to him why Donghyuck never told him about something so serious.

Suppressants weren’t something to take lightly. They force a power down, sedate it, until it’s manageable. It isn’t something to take for years and yet Donghyuck has. And it isn’t something you just up the dosage of unless something is seriously wrong.

Judging by Donghyuck’s burning form in his arms, something is, indeed, seriously wrong.

“Did he bring his pills?” Jungwoo asks. Jaemin shakes his head. “We need to get him home fast then. Come on, Jisung, Chenle.”

Jungwoo has to peel Donghyuck from Mark’s side because he’s found his home in the crook of Mark’s neck. Mark’s face flames when Donghyuck whines and hugs closer. Stupidly, he thinks he doesn’t want to let Donghyuck go either. But then he remembers the severity of the situation and helps Jungwoo try to peel him away.

Chenle takes Donghyuck’s other arm and successfully moves him from Mark. “Come on, Donghyuck. You can sleep on my lap.”

Donghyuck doesn’t reply. He simply allows Jungwoo and Chenle to maneuver him toward the jeep, Lucas and Jisung trailing behind.

“Come on. Jeno, I’ll give you a ride home,” Jaehyun says, flipping his keys in his hand.

“I’ll take Mark and Renjun,” Taeyong replies.

“Well, kind of an unwanted situation, but it was nice seeing you again,” Jaehyun says, casting Taeyong a crooked smile. “See you around.”

“Yeah,” Taeyong clears his throat, “see you.” When Jaehyun, Jaemin, and Jeno are on their way, he turns back to find Johnny smirking. “Say something and you’ll wish you were never born.” A pause and his frown deepens. “Don’t test me,” he mutters. He turns to Mark and Renjun. “Get in the car.”

It’s a deafening silence inside Johnny’s truck. Renjun catches Mark’s eye as they cross back into downtown and gives him a faint smile. It’s a rarity, Mark thinks as Renjun slips his hand over Mark’s and gives it a gentle squeeze before returning his hand to his lap. It’s rare for Renjun to do something like that, only choosing moments where he feels it’s most needed, moments that feel helpless. And, boy, does Mark feel helpless.

“I’m sorry, Taeyong,” Mark says from the back, his voice small. “We weren’t thinking.”

“Damn right you weren’t thinking,” Johnny says as he turns the corner. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us. Or ask us for help.”

Mark falls quiet. He can tell Taeyong is in his mind. He knows that Taeyong can hear every guilty thought, every hit he gives to himself for going through with this plan. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t say anything about it. Mark’s already beating himself up enough for everyone.

“Jeno didn’t want to tell anyone,” Mark says, playing with his fingers. “And Jaemin thought it was best if we tried to handle it on our own. I thought we had it handled. Go in, get out. They cheated.”

“Of course, they did,” Johnny comments with a scoff. “They’re a gang, Mark. They just want to win. You’re lucky you got out of there without any injures.”

“Well, not all of us. They had a healer that fixed everyone up. Mark’s nose was broken,” Renjun says.

Taeyong narrows his eyes at Mark through the rearview mirror. “Again?”

Delicately touching the bridge of his nose, Mark says, “At least they had someone to heal it this time.”

Sighing, Taeyong leans back in his seat. The way he runs his hand through his hair tells Mark that maybe he isn’t the only one beating himself up over the situation. They’ve always thought of each other as brothers, having met when Mark was ten and Taeyong at fourteen. Taeyong was the big brother that Mark’s own brother didn’t want to be. They may not talk as much as they did before, but Taeyong still keeps tabs on Mark and Mark still goes to Taeyong when things get bad.

Leaning forward, Mark places his hand on Taeyong’s arm and thinks, _Don’t blame yourself. It’s my fault. I should have said something._

He frowns before softening his eyebrows and giving Mark a half-smile. “I’m just glad you’re safe. But if you ever go back there, I will personally murder you in a dream. Got that?”

Despite the threat, Mark beams. “Got it.”

Renjun is the first to leave the truck, but not before giving Mark another smile that says everything will be all right. It’s definitely something Mark needs right now. Taeyong gives him the same warning that he gave Mark—just with slightly different words—and Renjun swallows, head nodding jerkily.

“All your friends are going to be terrified of Taeyong,” Johnny says as he steers the truck from the curb.

Mark laughs. “I think they’re already terrified of Taeyong. But they also admire him, so it’s a bit of a mixed bag.”

“Glad to know I’ve got it even on both ends,” says Taeyong. “Turn here.”

“I know where I’m going.” Johnny turns anyway.

His smile fades as he looks down at his hands. They aren’t burnt, but they’re red still. In a few hours, they’ll be back to normal again, but the whole problem will still remain. Mark avoids people and Donghyuck avoids situations. It’s not an ideal pair and Mark thinks that things are going to need to change if they ever want to fix what’s going on.

To not tell Mark about his pills seems huge. He’s not sure why. Maybe it’s because Donghyuck’s suppressants are a big thing, as they should be, and it has never been something Donghyuck’s been afraid to talk about before. Maybe it’s because of what the whole thing really means. Donghyuck’s powers are out of control, so much so that he needs more suppressants to keep it cool.

Catching Taeyong’s gaze in the mirror, he thinks, _Taeyong, he didn’t tell me about his suppressants. Why didn’t he tell me?_

“He didn’t want to worry you.” Even though he whispers, his voice carries over the purring engine easily. Johnny’s eyes flick to him, but he doesn’t say anything. “No one likes talking about suppressants, Mark. He didn’t want to burden you, or anyone else.”

“He told Jaemin.”

“Maybe he didn’t mean to. Maybe it was a slip up. Either way, I can tell you now, he didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to worry.”

“But why? I’m his best friend.”

“Exactly.” Taeyong leans his head back against the seat, watching the world speed by. “People, especially people like Donghyuck, don’t like appearing weak.”

Mark falls quiet as they pull into his driveway.

“It’ll work out,” Johnny says. “Don’t be too mad at him. He was just doing what he thought was right.”

“I know.” Mark gets out the car, slamming the door behind him. He doesn’t even look back as he marches up to his front door and slips inside.

Somehow, he’s going to have to mend all of these issues. He just doesn’t know where to start.

*

Mark gives it a week before he decides to do anything about it. He lets everything fall back into place. Jeno’s back in school, no longer fighting in the Red-light District. He sticks near Jaemin instead, their relationship so sickeningly sweet that Donghyuck keeps fake hurling—and real hurling when he really gets into it—whenever they cuddle at the lunch table or kiss in the hallway.

It’s cute and very much what they both deserve, so Mark lets them do whatever the heck they want. So long as they don’t fully make-out in front of him, he’s perfectly fine. Still, it does make his heart ache with just a bit of envy. He tries not to pay attention to it, though. That’s not fair on Jaemin and Jeno.

Of course, Donghyuck and Renjun have a lot to say about it. Even Chenle, who keeps putting his hand over Jisung’s eyes whenever there’s a hint at tongue. And there have been way too many of those moments to count. Mark doesn’t want to think about it. Renjun’s a bit more subtle in his snide comments while Donghyuck is definitely more dramatic. As if he would be anything but.

Still, Donghyuck seems to fall back into the groove of things without a second thought. He doesn’t bring up his suppressants at all and he doesn’t try to talk to Mark about the dream. Sometimes, Mark catches him looking and wonders if maybe Donghyuck is waiting for Mark to ask.

So, when Saturday evening rolls around, Mark decides he’s going to ask. There’s no more waiting for Donghyuck to come to him. If he won’t, Mark will.

That doesn’t mean he isn’t nervous.

“He’s in the treehouse,” Jungwoo says when he answers the door.

Mark simply nods and rounds the house. This is probably better because at least they’re far enough away from people to hear their conversation. Not that he thinks it’ll go awful, but privacy is something Mark needs in order to work up his nerve to keep going.

Donghyuck must have spotted him through the window because he doesn’t even flinch when Mark climbs up the ladder and takes a seat next to him. The space seems so much smaller than it used to. Mark has to bend his legs to fit. Donghyuck notices and gives him a faint smile.

“We’re getting too big,” he comments.

Mark nods. “Guess so. Might have to put an extension on.”

“I’ve always wanted a porch. With a swing.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

It all sounds right, but the feeling is off and Mark thinks it’s because there’s so much left unsaid and now they both know it’s going to come out. Right now. Even if he thinks he isn’t ready, he knows he can’t wait any longer.

“Why didn’t you tell me you upped your dosage?” he asks.

Donghyuck glances at him, eyes slightly round as if he hadn’t expected Mark to bring that up first. Mark thought about it, thought about talking about the dream, but this seems like something to settle right at the start. The easiest subject to use as an icebreaker.

“I wanted to try and do it myself, you know? Things got really bad after Chenle’s birthday.” He refuses to look at Mark as he speaks, eyes glued to the floor where his nails pick at the wood. “It would feel like I was exploding, so I took extra pills to keep it down. After an incident at school, I went to the doctor and got a higher dosage. I was going to tell you when it finally settled into my system.” He meets Mark’s gaze, strong and sure. “I was.”

“You didn’t have to do it alone.”

“I didn’t. Not really. Jaemin found out pretty early on and I made him keep quiet. He kept telling me to tell you and I just didn’t want to burden you. This was my thing to deal with and you had so many other things to focus on, like graduating and your scholarship and everything else. The last thing you needed was my stupid powers.”

Mark frowns. “You wouldn’t have been burdening me. That’s why I’m here, Hyuck. I’m your best friend. We carry the loads together. I could have helped.”

“How?” Donghyuck asks, tone wound tight. “There isn’t anything anyone can do to help. Mark, my powers are a mess. They always have been and they probably always will be. The suppressants are all I have to keep things in check and they’re not even working properly. One of these days, I’m going to explode and there won’t be a damn thing that’ll help. Don’t pretend like you don’t know that.”

Yeah, he does. Well, to a certain extent because there’s always a possibility that Donghyuck will get a handle on his powers and everything will be fine. But Donghyuck knows his ability better than anyone, knows his body better than anyone, and if he’s worried about how this will end, then it’s something to think about. And Mark’s thought about it. He’s even tried to come up with ways to fix it. But, sometimes, the answers aren’t always easy.

“I could have at least been there for you instead of watching you pass out in my arms with absolutely no idea what to do,” Mark whispers. Donghyuck bites his lip. “You scared the hell out of me. For a moment, I thought you were dead.”

“That would have been very anticlimactic of me.”

Glaring, Mark snaps, “ _Don’t_. Don’t do that. You may think your life is nothing, but I care, okay? I care what happens to you and if I lost you—” His voice breaks. Burying his face in his hands, he says, “God, Donghyuck. You don’t get it.”

Mark’s had way too long to think about it, too long to figure out his feelings and where he may stand in Donghyuck’s life. It isn’t like he expects Donghyuck to love him back, but he wants at least Donghyuck to take his fears seriously. For Donghyuck to at least accept that much.

The light from the solar lamp is golden. It filters through the window, casting over them as they sit there—Mark trying to sort out his thoughts and Donghyuck picking at the rip in his jeans just above his knee because, for once, he doesn’t know what to say. It takes all his will power not to reach over and take his hand and stop his movements. It’s making him even more nervous than he already is. His heart is pounding against his chest already and it hasn’t even been that long since he climbed the ladder up into the treehouse. Just Donghyuck’s presence is enough to send his body into panic. Mark really needs to get that under control.

This isn’t normal. They should be talking, laughing, bickering. That’s their relationship. Except, it isn’t anymore. Mark likes to think they’ve made up—and maybe Donghyuck thinks so too—but they really haven’t. Things have shifted now and Mark isn’t sure how to fix it. He’s not even sure he can.

Everything’s always been a little rocky, Mark thinks. But he knows that’s just because their communication sucks. It always has. It got worse after the kiss.

Dream or not, that kiss made some kind of difference. He knows that it was wrong to never bring it up and let Donghyuck pretend it never happened. Perhaps maybe then they wouldn’t be where they are now. Or, maybe things would have been worse and they wouldn’t be here at all. Still, Mark’s unsure of everything in this moment and he doesn’t know what to say or do. He just wants to go back to the way things were. He’d do anything for that.

“You’re thinking about it,” Donghyuck whispers, though his voice feels like a clap of thunder in Mark’s ears. So much so that he winces.

Yeah, he’s thinking about it. He’s been thinking about it since it happened. Every smile, every touch, every laugh brings that memory back ten-fold and Mark can’t stop it. Doesn’t know how to. Isn’t sure he wants to. It had been everything he could have wanted. Then Donghyuck pulled the rug out from under him and Mark’s spent far too long ignoring his feelings for the sake of their friendship.

Of course, he knows that’s probably the best thing he could have done. Donghyuck might have kissed Dream Mark, but that didn’t necessarily mean he liked Mark. Mark isn’t going to be stupid enough to think a kiss means liking someone, especially when someone is in a dream and literally anything can happen. Still, there’s a niggling feeling in his mind that tells him that maybe Donghyuck does feel the same because that final kiss had been different. Donghyuck had known it was Mark. 

He isn’t sure what to say. Isn’t sure what the right words to say are. Anything could be wrong at this moment in time and he just wants things to be normal. But he also doesn’t know if going back to normal is the right thing. His feelings and thoughts are everywhere. He doesn’t know what’s right, wrong, up, or down. He just needs an answer before he goes crazy.

“You said you acknowledge it,” is all he manages. His voice cracks again, and he clears his throat because it suddenly hurts. It’s so dry.

Donghyuck’s fingers halt against the rip. His body heat is high. So much so that it’s sinking into Mark’s side.

“I do,” Donghyuck replies, quietly. “I know it happened…I remember it happening. I just,” he inhales, “know that it was a dream. I didn’t think it was that bad. I didn’t think it was something to mention. I thought I could just ignore it.”

Mark frowns. “But you knew.” His heart beats faster as he forces out the words: “Don’t tell me you didn’t know how I felt about you.”

For a moment, it goes silent again and Mark worries he’s screwed it up. That he’s wrecked everything yet again.

“I did.”

His heart slams against his chest particularly hard that Mark thinks that perhaps a piece broke off. He’s not sure why he’s shocked—maybe perhaps a little upset—because he’s known, deep down, that Donghyuck knew about Mark’s feelings. How could he not? Mark wasn’t exactly as subtle as he likes to think he was. Donghyuck’s never been an idiot and he’s always been observant. Nothing, not even Mark’s feelings, could get passed him. Still, it hurts. It hurts to have it proven that, yes, Donghyuck’s known the whole time and done nothing. Said nothing.

Mark sits up straighter, turning to look at Donghyuck, who’s staring desperately at the rip in his jeans. His fingers keep picking at it, making the hole bigger. It’s unfair, Mark thinks, how captivating Donghyuck can be even while doing an insignificant thing. He glows like no one Mark’s ever met before. It’s enthralling and troublesome.

“You had to have known acting the way you did…” He rubs at his eyes, voice trailing off. “God, Donghyuck. You had to have known what you do affects me and you still do it?”

Donghyuck’s eyes snap to his. They’re golden, like his skin. Round and just really pretty. Mark hates himself for getting so distracted. “I’m affectionate, Mark. I always have been. I thought keeping things the same was for the best. I thought you would have wanted that. What did you want me to do? Avoid you?”

“Yes—I mean, no—I—” His hands curl into fists on his lap and he stares at them. It’s better if he doesn’t look at Donghyuck. Not right now. “You could have just _talked_ to me.”

“You know I couldn’t have done that. You wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“You don’t know what I want.”

Donghyuck shifts beside him. “Yes, I do. And I can’t give you that. Mark, you would have hated it if I avoided you, or if I brought it up. I know that you wanted to keep things as normal as possible and I tried to do that for you.”

“I would have preferred it if you had said something. Tell me you didn’t like me instead of leaving me in limbo. We kissed and you pretended like it never happened. And I spent months going crazy over it. Some days I thought I had dreamt it up.” He steals a glance at Donghyuck, who looks away immediately. “I was so happy when we played that stupid game because it told me that you registered it as an actual kiss, but then you lied to my face. _Then_ you told me you acknowledged it? And I’m so fucking confused, Hyuck. And, on top of that, you’re all over me when you’ve known the whole time that I liked you. You can’t tell me what I wanted. _I_ didn’t even know what I wanted. You were doing what you wanted.”

“I was doing what I thought was best.”

“Fuck, Donghyuck!” He doesn’t mean to yell. It startles both of them. Donghyuck flinches and Mark locks his jaw, hating himself for snapping. Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair. “You mean the world to me. You have to know that. You’re my best friend. I would do anything for you and I would like to think you’d do anything for me—”

“I would,” Donghyuck interrupts.

“Then stop,” he states. “Just stop lying to me and tell me the truth. I’m done with pretend. I’m so tired of this. I didn’t mean to make things complicated. It just happened. Everything happened so fast and I didn’t know how to stop it. I still don’t.”

Donghyuck reaches out to take Mark’s hand. Mark’s cold fingers instantly warm. It’s a touch he doesn’t think he could ever forget and always want. He hates that he can’t let Donghyuck go.

“I’m sorry,” whispers Donghyuck. He squeezes Mark’s hand. “I really thought I was doing what was best for both of us. I figured if I pretended it never happened that maybe we could move on with it, but it just never went away. And I didn’t know how to deal with it, and you never brought it up, so I figured you wanted things to be normal. I didn’t realize…I just didn’t realize.”

Mark drags his eyes from their conjoined hands up to Donghyuck’s face. His fringe has gotten longer, brushing his eyelashes when he blinks. His brows are furrowed as he watches his hand, still wrapped around Mark’s, as if he doesn’t know why he’s still holding Mark’s hand and isn’t sure how to let go. This beautiful boy is nothing but pain sometimes, Mark thinks. But a large part of him doesn’t care. He thinks it’s worth it, to like Donghyuck. He’s never going to regret that.

He doesn’t know why he’s leaning in, why he tugs on Donghyuck’s hand to pull him closer. The hitch in Donghyuck’s breath is musical as his eyes snap to Mark’s. They’re wide, unsure. There’s something there that Mark isn’t sure he can understand because as much as he likes to think he knows Donghyuck inside and out, Donghyuck still manages to surprise him sometimes, still manages to remain unreadable a lot of the time. He wonders if it’s fear, but Donghyuck isn’t pulling away. His eyes flutter around Mark’s face, searching, studying. Mark licks his lips and Donghyuck’s eyes catch the movement, his own lips parting just slightly.

It isn’t a good idea. Hell, it’s a pretty horrible idea. But Mark really wants to kiss Donghyuck right now.

He takes a moment to wait, to see if Donghyuck says something or moves. He doesn’t, so Mark ventures forward, just enough for him to feel Donghyuck’s breath against his lips, a hair’s width of distance. He just needs to move a little more and he’s there. But before he can, there’s a hand on his chest and a pressure that tells him to stop.

“Mark, don’t,” Donghyuck mutters. His lips brush against Mark’s. God, they’re so close. So close that it’s setting Mark on fire. Blood is pounding in his ears, his heart thudding in his chest. “Don’t.”

He sits back, eyeing Donghyuck. His face is still unreadable, but his brow is still creased in the middle and he’s worrying. Donghyuck’s worried about something and Mark doesn’t know what.

Carefully, he untangles his hand from Donghyuck’s, and Donghyuck’s frown deepens. “Maybe it’s for the best,” he says. “Maybe we should just move on from it. I’m sure that would make our lives easier. I think you were right.”

“Mark,” he reaches for Mark’s hand again, but Mark puts his hands behind his back. “You have to know that I can’t. I just can’t be that person for you. I want you to be happy. God, you deserve to be so, _so_ happy. But you won’t be happy with me. I can’t give you what you need.”

“You’re everything I need,” he admits. He figures he’s already laid so much on the line, so what’s the harm in a few more feelings, a little more honesty. “I don’t want anything else.”

Donghyuck inhales shakily. He’s moving away and the heat is going with him. Mark feels cold. “You won’t forever. Mark, you need someone who’s more than me. Who’s right for you. This…you’ll get over this.”

Mark can’t help the anger that rises in him, eyes snapping to Donghyuck. He’s not even sure what to say anymore. He’s not sure there’s anything he can say. So, he does what he needs to do and starts toward the ladder of the treehouse.

“Mark,” Donghyuck says as he grasps Mark’s shirt, stopping him. “Please, don’t go. We can work this out. We just need to figure it out.”

The sound of his voice is weak and _oh so_ vulnerable and it settles some of Mark’s anger because, _god damn it_ , he doesn’t want to hurt Donghyuck. Donghyuck doesn’t deserve that. He sighs. “I need time. Just…give me time and I’ll be fine. _We’ll_ be fine.”

“Will we?”

Mark barely hears the question, it’s so quiet. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and turns to face Donghyuck, whose hand still clutches at his shirt. For once, he looks scared and Mark hates that expression on him. He crawls toward him, grabs the nape of Donghyuck’s neck and pulls him into a hug. Hugs are safe, he thinks. This is fine. This is okay. Donghyuck immediately gives in, arms wrapping around Mark’s waist, pressing as close as he can as he buries his face into Mark’s neck. The warmth seeps into him and Mark rests his cheek against Donghyuck’s head.

They’ll work it out. He knows they will. Because they’re Mark and Donghyuck, and they always work things out, no matter what happens.

They have to.

Even if it means Mark needs to give up his feelings.

He’s willing to do anything to keep Donghyuck with him and, perhaps, that scares him a little more than he would like to admit.

*Feel Free to come talk to me on [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/DiamantNoir)*


	2. Strike A Match

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, after about three weeks, it's finally here: Donghyuck's part!  
> This will be the last part with significant time jumps. Thank goodness! This does have some scenes and spoilers for Tendery's and Chenji's stories. So, if you don't want to be spoiled, I would suggest reading those first. But, otherwise, nearing the end of this part, we're finally seeing what happened after Chenji's story.  
> I know there are going to be a few people that may be upset with this part. Just know, it's a slow burn and it will have a happy ending! We just have to get there first :) 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Mark Lee is a fucking idiot.

A massive fucking idiot that Donghyuck would very much like to shake the living daylights out of.

Donghyuck shoves his fists in his pockets as he races across the road—nearly missing an oncoming car that honks at him—and heads down the street. Spotting the tall, glass building up ahead, he frowns and grits his teeth.

For a while after Donghyuck admitted to knowing about Mark’s feelings towards him, they were a bit shaky. It wasn’t terrible, per say. It was just that Mark turned a little quieter and Donghyuck ended up having to force himself to back off a bit on the physical affection department. It wasn’t easy and it still isn’t. Donghyuck hates the fact that there’s this rift between them. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid, what Mark had been trying to avoid.

He tried to pretend nothing was wrong because, well, that’s just how he is. Donghyuck may be the type of person to poke someone’s buttons, but he doesn’t actually enjoy fighting or causing issues. Drama is something he could definitely live without. Ignoring it is the best way to separate himself from it. Luckily, none of their friends really mentioned the slight tension. He’s not sure how he would have had to play that off.

But a few weeks later, things seemed to sort of snap back into place. There was still a bit of awkwardness, but it came to a point where Donghyuck was almost sure he and Mark were okay again. Mark was talking to him, sending him weird things online, laughing with him. Donghyuck thought maybe, just maybe, they were safe.

He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up, though, because as soon as Mark graduated and started up his internship in February, he started backing off. Again. This isn’t the first time and Donghyuck’s damn near sure that it won’t be the last.

It’s not like he particularly blames Mark for wanting to take some time to himself. He didn’t really get that when they were forced to hang out at school with all their friends. Friends, who had no idea what was actually going on. Now, though? Mark was using his escape from high school as an escape from everyone else.

At least, that’s what Donghyuck thought. He found out last night that Mark’s just been cutting Donghyuck off. Slow and steady until he gets no replies at all. 

In all honesty, he’s sick and tired of it.

Mark’s habit of running away from people when problems arise is annoying and infuriating. All because he just doesn’t want to face the actual issue. Mark doesn’t do confrontation; he doesn’t like to bring up problems because he hates the idea of making things worse. But by running away, he’s making it a hell of a lot worse.

Donghyuck knows he’s no saint. He purposefully tried to pretend everything was okay when it plainly wasn’t. Especially after that whole dream-kiss incident. And, yeah, okay, he knows that was a bad move. A really bad move. But he was embarrassed and Mark seemed to be all right with the idea of moving passed it. Until he wasn’t.

Fucking hell, they’re an absolute mess and Mark is not helping at all. He’s just making it worse. And Donghyuck isn’t going to let him do this. They’re best friends, for crying out loud. This shouldn’t be destroying them like it is.

They can figure this all out. They can work it out. Even if, you know, Mark likes him.

Donghyuck stumbles a bit. God, even now he’s not sure how to take any of this. It’s been nearly ten months since they sat in his treehouse, talking about Mark and his feelings and Donghyuck rejecting him—rejection sounds awful, but he supposes that’s what it was—and Donghyuck still gets nervous about it. His heart doesn’t take to the memories kindly, which is one of the reasons he tries to downplay the whole thing in his head.

But, in actuality, it’s a pretty big deal.

It’s a fucking huge deal.

Sighing, he pulls his hands from his pockets and rubs at his face. There’s no easy way to fix this. Donghyuck can’t just tell Mark to move on and he can’t date Mark. Well, he could, but he knows he can’t. That’s not an option. It hasn’t been an option in years. Dating Mark would be, well—

Why is he even thinking about it? It’s a no. Move on.

“Bloody idiot,” Donghyuck hisses as he stomps up to the front door of the building and slams it open. “I’m going to kill him.”

He stalks across the lobby to the shiny front desk. Everything about the place screams professional, and Donghyuck definitely doesn’t belong here, but he has no other choice. Mark isn’t going to come to him, so Donghyuck is just going to have to go to him instead. Even if it means stepping into a place that feels like one of those sets no one’s supposed to be on.

“Um, can I help you?” the young woman at the desk asks as she glances away from her computer to stare down her nose at him.

It takes everything in his power not to raise a brow at her. He knows he doesn’t fit the black-tie uniform of this place, but he doesn’t look like a street kid either. Unless she thinks blond hair and ripped jeans is enough to make him seem like trouble. Then again, Mark’s always told him he has a face built for mischief so maybe that’s what she’s seeing.

“I need to see Mark Lee,” he states, shoving his hands back into his pockets.

“Mark Lee?”

“Yeah, he’s an intern here. About yay-tall,” he puts his hand just a bit above his head, “brunette, extremely awkward.”

The receptionist wrinkles her nose. “I know who he is. He’s busy right now. You’ll have to talk to him later.”

Putting a hand on the desk, Donghyuck leans forward and says, “I’m not leaving until I see him.”

“Then I’ll just have to get security to show you where the door is.”

“I know where it is. I walked through it to get here.”

“I suggest you walk back out of it then.” She grins up at him, the smile not quite meeting her eyes. She’d be pretty, if she wasn’t such a bitch.

Donghyuck locks his jaw, tempted to storm through the door to his right that surely leads to the rest of the building, but he doesn’t because he needs to keep himself in check. He can already feel his temperature rising and the last thing he needs is to set something on fire. So, he exhales deeply through his nose and straightens up.

Opening his mouth, to tell her that it’s urgent he sees Mark now, someone else’s voice cuts over his own.

“Donghyuck? What are you doing here?” Mark holds the door open—the exact same one Donghyuck was contemplating on marching through; with or without permission—and a confused expression on his face that draws his eyebrows together. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I tried to tell him that,” the receptionist says and Donghyuck glares at her.

Mark steps up to him, keeping a decent distance, and asks, “Seriously, Hyuck, what are you doing here?”

Hyuck. Okay. That’s a good sign, he thinks. If Mark was really mad at him, he wouldn’t use nicknames or short-forms.

It’s stupid because Donghyuck came here so frustrated by everything. He was ready to blow Mark apart for completely ditching him. Now, they’re standing face to face and Donghyuck is instantly distracted by all the small things that have changed about Mark over the last two months of not seeing each other.

His hair’s back to black and he’s styled it up and away from his forehead. He never styles his hair, said it was too much work, and, yet, here he is in all his styled glory. And maybe it’s the darkness of his hair that makes his features seem so much more mature, sharper, or maybe it’s because he’s wearing a suit that actually fits him. Maybe it’s all of those things, but Donghyuck can’t help but think that Mark got better looking in the last two months. Mark looks like an adult and Donghyuck’s not really sure when that happened.

And it isn’t that Mark’s never looked good before. He’s always had a boyish charm about him and those stupidly pretty eyes and those ridiculous cheekbones. But now that boyish charm has changed into something more inherently masculine and Donghyuck is not really sure how to take that.

God damn it. He came here for a reason.

“Donghyuck, now isn’t a good time,” Mark says, gaining Donghyuck’s attention again. He’s talking to him as if he were a child. It grates on Donghyuck’s nerves because he’s not a child. Not any more than Mark is.

“Oh, really? And when would be a good time? Because I can’t seem to get a hold of you long enough to figure that out. Or never actually,” he snaps. Glaring, he crosses his arms and hisses, “Why is it whenever you leave me alone, you l _eave me alone_?”

Mark’s eyes snap to the receptionist, who watches them with great interest, before taking Donghyuck’s arm and dragging him over to the waiting area on the other side of the lobby. Donghyuck takes in the leather couches and glass tables and modern fireplace with a television hung above it. It’s so rich that Donghyuck doesn’t want to touch it.

“You can’t be here,” Mark presses. “This is my workplace. I’m working.”

He gasps. “Really? I had no idea.”

“Oh, cut the crap and zip the sarcasm. I don’t have time for this.” He runs his fingers through his hair, messing up the quaffed style and, honestly, Donghyuck likes that a lot better. “We’ll talk later.”

“Will we? Mark, I haven’t heard from you in almost two months. It’s nearing the end of March and the last time we spoke was before February. Well,” he pauses, “the last time you spoke to me, anyway.”

“I got busy.”

Donghyuck raises a brow. “Apparently, not busy enough because you hung out with Jeno and Jaemin just last week and you still talk to Renjun all the time. Even Jisung and Chenle have heard from you more than I have. You cut _me_ out. You’re too busy _for me_ , is what you want to say.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark groans. “Now really isn’t the time for this. I need to get back to work.”

“Fine.” Donghyuck drops into the nearest couch, kicks up his feet onto the glass coffee table, and picks up the magazine someone’s placed on the side-table.

“What are you doing?”

Donghyuck gestures to him with the magazine. “I don’t have anywhere to be. I’ll wait until you’re done work. Then, we’ll continue to yell at each other.”

Ripping the magazine from his grasp, Mark says, “Don’t you have school?”

“I do,” he agrees. “Very astute. I’m skipping, if you couldn’t tell.”

“You have to go to school.”

“No, I don’t. Now,” he snatches the magazine back, “go back to work, Canada. I’ll wait until you’re done.”

Mark looks like he wants to fight, like he wants to shove Donghyuck out into the street, but he doesn’t. He spins on his heel with a ‘Don’t touch anything’ and stomps out of the lobby. Donghyuck’s not sure what he’s expecting to happen when Mark’s finally done for the day. This could either be a very good idea or a very stupid idea. Donghyuck, however, has always lived on the edge. He’s just going to have to take the risk and hope that Mark isn’t willing to drop him completely.

*

When Mark comes back to the lobby a few hours later—shortly after five by Donghyuck’s phone—he appears tired and also a little surprised that Donghyuck stayed. Not that he should. Donghyuck’s always been stubborn and when he puts his mind to something, he does it. So, if he wants to talk to Mark, he’s willing to sit in the lobby of his workplace for almost four hours to get that chance.

“Come on,” Mark says as he heads toward the door.

Without a word, Donghyuck follows him out. The receptionist at the desk seems insanely pleased to see him leave and he sticks his tongue out at her just because he can.

They make it about a block from the building before Mark turns on him and asks, “You going to tell me why you stormed my work?”

“I thought I already told you,” Donghyuck says, digging his hands into his pockets. “Why aren’t you answering my messages? Does this have to do with what happened at the treehouse?”

Mark flinches and Donghyuck kind of feels bad because he knows it wasn’t a happy time for either of them. Mark had put himself out there completely, laying his heart on the line, and Donghyuck had tossed it back at him. While he tried to be as gentle as he possibly could, Donghyuck had known that Mark liking him wasn’t something he could let happen.

Mark needs someone who will love him without hurting him. Someone who won’t constantly make mistakes or become dangerous. Someone deserving of his love.

Donghyuck isn’t that person. And he’s well aware of that. 

Glancing at the road, Mark says, “Maybe it’s time we take a break from everything. From each other.”

“Oh, yeah, because that worked out so well last time,” Donghyuck comments with a roll of his eyes.

“That was different.”

“Really? Doesn’t feel any different. It feels like you’re leaving me behind again.”

“I’m not—” Mark cuts himself off with a sigh. “I’m not leaving you behind. I just don’t think I can do this anymore. Donghyuck, I haven’t had a moment to breathe since I confessed to you. I haven’t had a chance to try to come to terms with any of it. And you don’t need me around you while I’m like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m in love with you,” Mark snaps.

It’s Donghyuck’s turn to flinch. He shoots his attention to his shoes. Those are safe to look at.

He knew Mark liked him. He had said as much. But ‘love’ is such a strong word and Donghyuck had really been hoping that wasn’t the case. It makes everything so much harder for both of them. He grips at the insides of his pockets, trying to figure out how to fix this.

Because that’s why he’s there. To fix this.

“We’re best friends,” he mutters, chancing a glance through his eyelashes.

Mark nods. “I know. And I don’t think we’ll ever not be. I can’t think of anyone else I would want to be my best friend. But I also want a lot more from you and you said you couldn’t give that to me. And I respect that, which is why I’m trying to back off and sort through my own crap so that I can try to make things right again. It’s just going to take me some time.”

“How much time?”

“I don’t know.”

Maybe he’s being selfish. What Mark wants is natural. Wanting time to figure things out is natural. But Donghyuck hates feeling like he’s losing Mark because of it. The worst times in Donghyuck’s life is when Mark is pulling away with the thought that he might not come back. He’s not sure what would happen if Mark decided he could never be in the same room as him ever again.

“And I think,” Mark continues, “you need time, too. Away from me. Away from everything that’s happening.”

“I don’t want time.”

“Maybe not, but you need it. Donghyuck, you just found out your best friend is in love with you and your first instinct was to ignore that and try to go back to normal. But that moment affected you just as much as it did me. Maybe not as much, but it did. Take some time to figure your own stuff out without putting all your effort into trying to ignore uncomfortable situations.”

Donghyuck shifts slightly, eyeing a lady with a stroller as she goes around them. “It’s not an uncomfortable situation.”

“Yes, it is,” he says. The corners of his lips twitch into a rueful smile. “I never meant for it to become one, but it did. And we need to deal with it. _I_ need to deal with it. On my own.” He takes a step forward to rest his hands on Donghyuck’s shoulders. “It’ll be okay.”

“You say that, but—”

“It will be. You just have to give us some time.” His hands leave and Donghyuck wants to reach out and take them. Instead, he grips harder at his pockets. “Who knows, this might work out well.”

“It might not.”

Mark licks his lips, tugging his lower one between his teeth. Donghyuck’s unhelpful mind decides that’s the moment to flash him an image of bright lights and drifting hands and careless kisses. He shakes his head, trying to clear it, but his hands already feel hot and his lips are tingling.

“It might not,” Mark agrees, clearly not realizing what Donghyuck’s brain just put him through. “But I’d like to hold out hope that we’re stronger than that. I’m sorry.”

“Please, don’t apologize.”

Shrugging, he says, “It feels appropriate, considering it’s my fault.”

“Not completely.” And it’s true. It isn’t Mark’s fault completely. A lot of this could have been avoided if Donghyuck had just bitten the bullet and talked about the dream right away. Or if he had come clean about knowing about Mark’s feelings for him way earlier. Maybe then this wouldn’t be happening.

Or maybe it would have been worse.

Too many maybes, Donghyuck thinks. He hates maybes.

“You’re my best friend,” he mutters, glancing back down at his shoes. He’s not sure he can look at Mark. Not right now.

“And you’re mine,” Mark replies, easily. Ducking his head down, he grabs Donghyuck’s gaze and smiles softly at him. “Don’t worry so much. Focus on school. You’ll barely know I’m gone.”

That’s doubtful.

“Anyway, I need to get home. I guess I’ll see you around,” Mark tells him, stepping back slightly. “Be good, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck isn’t sure what to say. All he can manage is a small nod. Everything in his body is screaming at him to take Mark’s hand and drag him back. He doesn’t. He holds himself back, even though it’s painful and his muscles ache from all the tension he’s putting it through to keep himself still.

He watches Mark wave, turn around, and walk away. From him. From everything. And it hurts. God, Donghyuck’s not sure he’s ever been in so much pain before, and he’s had some pretty severely painful moments in his life. But this feels different. This feels as if Mark is tearing a part of Donghyuck out and taking it with him.

*

About an hour later, Donghyuck finds himself crashing on Jaemin’s bed with Jaemin still on it. They end up sprawling across the mattress in tangled limbs. Jaemin complains. Donghyuck makes himself comfortable.

“Do you mind?” Jaemin ask, trying to shove Donghyuck’s body off of him.

“No.”

There’s a groan and, somehow, Jaemin manages to roll out from under him to sit up and glare down at him. “What’s wrong?”

The thing is, Donghyuck really doesn’t want to talk about it, but he does want to be around his friends because they often manage to distract him from all his issues. Sometimes, if he’s feeling particularly careful, he can mask his expression to make it seem like nothing is wrong. Other times, like today, Donghyuck has no energy for that. All he can see is Mark walking away from him and his heart keeps doing that weird clenching thing that he hates.

“Nothing.”

From the other side of the room on the floor, Renjun says, “That’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one. You skipped school. Where did you go?”

“SM Entertainment,” he grumbles, pressing his face into Jaemin’s sheets. They smell like lavender. When silence follows, he lifts his head to find his friends staring at him. “What?”

Frowning, Jeno asks from Jaemin’s desk chair, “To see Mark?”

“Yeah.”

They shouldn’t be so surprised, he thinks. In all honesty, they should have known this was coming after telling him about how Mark was blatantly shutting him out, yet allowing everyone else. Did they honestly think he’d just let it go? After all these years, his next actions should have been predictable.

Donghyuck hates this. He hates everything about this. It feels like it did before, when Mark decided to make choices for their friendship without actually talking to Donghyuck about it. It’s like Mark thinks he can’t make decisions for himself. Donghyuck knows what he needs and what he wants. He doesn’t need Mark to take control. At least, not all the time. Not like this.

He remembers every moment that Mark’s pulled away from him. He remembers how that felt, the sinking of his stomach and the feeling of being lost. Mark, for lack of a better term, has always been Donghyuck’s anchor. To not have him is like he’s floating out to sea with no map. For a brief moment, he was sure he’d never have to feel that again.

Now, it was crawling back under his skin.

Sitting up, Donghyuck takes in his friend’s expressions. It’s a mixture of frowns and confusion and hesitancy. Renjun doesn’t look impressed, though he also doesn’t look angry. It’s sort of a mix between pensive and ‘you’re an idiot’. Donghyuck isn’t sure how he manages that mix, but he admires it. Glancing to Jeno, he notices how tense he is through the shoulders, as if he’s expecting a storm to roll in. Jaemin, on the other hand, has his brows furrowed, his lips downturned. He’s not happy Donghyuck skipped. It also looks like he wasn’t happy Donghyuck visited Mark. Although, he’s not sure why. For once, he’s glad Jisung and Chenle aren’t there because he’s not sure he could take whatever disappointed or sheepish looks they’d give him.

All of them know that Mark and Donghyuck aren’t in a good position, right now, if the fact that Mark is backing away is anything to go by. But none of them know why. He’s never told anyone, not even Jaemin, about what happened at the treehouse, or even that dream-kiss he and Mark shared. All they know is that Mark is separating himself, yet again, and this time, they aren’t doing much to stop it.

That part probably pisses him off the most. Last time, they had reacted so much stronger. Then again, Mark had cut everyone out that time, not just Donghyuck, so maybe that could explain it.

“What happened?” Jeno asks, almost carefully.

“Nothing. That’s what happened. I saw him, he told me to leave him alone, and then he left. Again.” Donghyuck tugs on the pillow under Jaemin until Jaemin moves just slightly to allow him to yank it free. Hugging it close, he adds, “I guess he’s decided we need another break.”

Jaemin’s frown deepens. “Are either of you ever going to explain what started this? Mark doesn’t tend to do this unless he’s going through something emotionally difficult.”

“Stubborn and sensitive,” grumbles Renjun. “Not a good mix.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Donghyuck says. “Either way, he said he needed time and I needed time and so I’m getting time, even though I don’t want time.”

“Too many ‘times’.”

“I don’t care about how many. I care about the fact that my best friend just basically broke up with me,” he whines, punching at the pillow. Jaemin’s eyebrows raised. “What?”

“Break up?”

“That’s what it fucking feels like. He’s all like,” he drops his voice to do a poor imitation of Mark’s voice, “‘I’m trying to back off and sort through my own crap’ and ‘Maybe it’s time we take a break from everything’ and ‘You’ll barely know I’m gone’. Who the fuck does he think he is? ‘Barely know I’m gone.’ As if! He’s been in my life since I was eleven! _Barely know he’s gone?_ Fuck!”

Jaemin wrenches the pillow away when Donghyuck decides to whale on it with his fists. “Okay. Okay! Leave my poor pillow alone.” Setting it off to the side, he asks, “Hyuck, what actually happened? What’s going on?”

“We know something strange happened between you two,” Renjun puts in. “I mean, it’s not hard to see.”

Nodding, Jeno says, “You guys bicker all the time, but when you fight it’s like a cold war or something.”

“Clearly, something happened and it won’t be fixed if you don’t talk about it,” Jaemin says.

Donghyuck, however, doesn’t want to talk about it. For once, it isn’t because he just doesn’t want to talk about his problems, but because he’s simply too embarrassed about the whole thing. He knows, for the most part, that he had no control over that dream. It had sort of just sprung itself on him. But he also knows that he was fully aware Mark was dream jumping the second time he kissed him and that’s sort of where Donghyuck likes to stop thinking about it and try not to drown himself in humiliation.

He’s not sure why he kissed Mark the second time. He shouldn’t have. It was a horrible decision, in the long run, and maybe if he hadn’t, they could have just laughed the whole thing off. But both him and Mark knew that kiss was something different.

Donghyuck, like most emotions, doesn’t handle embarrassment well. He tends to hide from it, which is exactly what he was trying to do the first time. And what he’s trying to do now. If he doesn’t acknowledge it, it isn’t real. At least, that’s how he thinks of it.

However, what rivals the utter humiliation about the whole incident, he also isn’t sure Mark wants it all broadcasted. Obviously, Mark never once mentioned it to someone else, and Donghyuck isn’t sure he should be the one to do it. It doesn’t seem right.

“I can’t,” he whispers, fingers linking together to keep them from shaking. “Mark—”

“Wouldn’t tell us even if he had the chance to,” Renjun replies. “Look, we won’t mention it to Mark. Donghyuck, you need to figure this out and you can’t do it on your own. You know you can’t.”

He hates it when Renjun is right. Renjun’s always right. Of course, Donghyuck wouldn’t ever tell him that. As much as he’s quiet, Renjun has an ego that could rival Donghyuck’s on a good day.

It’s sucks, he thinks, because he wants to tell them. He does. But he also doesn’t know how they’ll take it. For years, they’ve always joked about Donghyuck and Mark getting together. Jaemin most of all. At first, Donghyuck had found it funny. That is, until he found out that Mark actually liked him and then it was just a bit weird.

The last thing he needs is a lecture for turning Mark down because they all think Donghyuck is in love with him. It’s not something he wants to go through.

“I can try to figure it out,” he says.

Snorting, Renjun says, “Whatever’s been going on with you two has been happening for over a year. It’s getting really ridiculous. So, talk.”

Jaemin and Renjun aren’t going to let him go, and Jeno will do what either of them say before he helps Donghyuck out. Not that he views Donghyuck any less than the other two. It’s just that he’s more scared of Jaemin and Renjun. Probably for good reason. Renjun is terrifying when he isn’t on your side and Jaemin is his boyfriend.

“Do you guys remember Chenle’s fifteenth birthday party?” Donghyuck asks, voice on the edge of a whisper because, _oh god_ , is he actually going to do this?

“The sleepover?” Jaemin asks.

Nodding, he reaches over Jaemin to grab at the pillow. Jaemin doesn’t stop him this time and lets him hug it close again. While it won’t do much good, it feels like a protective barrier. Especially as all the memories come pouring back into the front of his mind.

By now, he should be used to it. Apparently, his brain likes to remind him weekly. Sometimes daily. It’s not a fun time.

“It, um—something happened that night and—”

Jaemin gasps. “Did you sleep with him?”

“What?” Donghyuck squawks. “No! I didn’t sleep with him! What the fuck, Jaemin?”

“Sorry, sorry!” He put his hands up in mock surrender. “Continue.”

Sighing, Donghyuck lowered his head onto the pillow. Nothing about this is fun. Everything about this is humiliating. He doesn’t like to relive it and he certainly hoped he would never have to talk about it.

“That night,” he starts, slowly into the soft fabric of the pillow case, “Mark jumped into my dream.”

“Was it a sex dream?”

Donghyuck whips the pillow at Jaemin’s face. “Would you stop bringing up sex? No one had sex! We just kissed!”

“Wait, what?” Renjun gapes.

Warmth curls through his body and spreads down to his fingertips. He tries to force himself to focus, to not set Jaemin’s bed on fire because he can’t control his emotions.

Pressing his hands to his heated cheeks, Donghyuck says, “I didn’t know, okay? You can’t really control what you dream about. I didn’t think much of it. He, uh,” he clears his throat, “tried to wake me up and when I realized it was him—I don’t know! It just happened.”

“What just happened?” whispers Jaemin as he leans over to take Donghyuck’s hands away from his face.

“I thought he was just a dream the first time,” he admits. “I really did. The second time…I knew it was him. And he knew I knew it was him. And when I finally woke up, I panicked.”

“You pretended you forgot,” guesses Jeno.

“Told him it was a nightmare. We both knew I was lying, but I was too embarrassed and I didn’t think we needed to talk about it. It would have just made things awkward.”

“So, at the community center. When we were playing Never Have I Ever and you lowered your finger,” Renjun says.

“Like I said, we both knew I remembered. Mark isn’t that stupid.”

“That’s debatable,” grumbles Jaemin.

Frowning, Donghyuck says, “He _isn’t_. But it was the first time I sort of acknowledged the whole thing.”

“And he stomped off because?”

“Because I lied. Again. Told him it was some kiss on a playground.” He catches the unimpressed expressions on his friends’ faces and he groans. “I know, okay? I didn’t know what else to say.”

“How about the bloody truth?” Renjun offers. “You always tell the truth. Always.”

Donghyuck closes in on himself. “Apparently, not always. Either way, we did eventually talk about it about a week after Jeno fought that gang. And some stuff happened and…” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I really thought we were okay, but then he was ignoring me again. I just wanted to talk to him and figure it out.”

“What do you mean ‘stuff happened’?”

They always say to tell the truth as if you’re ripping off a Band-Aid. It’s supposed to hurt less. This, however, fucking aches. Every piece of truth he tears from himself is just another arrow in his heart. It’s another point to how much he’s fucked this all up.

“He confessed to me,” he mutters.

Silence drapes over him and Donghyuck refuses to look up from his lap. Heaviness weighs on him as he remembers Mark’s words from that night, how he’d been so close to kissing Donghyuck in reality and Donghyuck had stopped him, snatched up his heart, and stomped on it.

God, he was a horrible person, wasn’t he?

He keeps telling himself there wasn’t a better way to handle the situation. Mark shouldn’t want Donghyuck. He needs someone better, and Donghyuck can’t string him along, he has to be honest and push Mark as far as he can with enough strength that he has in order for Mark to really get it into his head.

That doesn’t mean doing it doesn’t hurt.

The last thing he’s ever wanted to do was hurt Mark. He doesn’t deserve it.

“You rejected him,” Jaemin breathes, finally finding his voice. “Why did you reject him?”

“Because I—” His voice breaks as he looks up at Jaemin, who gazes back at him with a look of confusion and wonder. As if he doesn’t recognize Donghyuck at all. “Mark needs to stop wasting his time on me and find someone else who will actually love him the way he’s supposed to be loved.”

Renjun glowers from the floor. “That’s bullshit. Donghyuck, you love him.”

His heart slams against his chest painfully. All he can do is shake his head.

“Don’t lie to me and certainly don’t lie to yourself,” snaps Renjun. “You’ve been in love with him for years. What the actual fuck? Why would you turn him down?”

“I don’t,” Donghyuck presses. “I don’t.”

“You do!”

“No, I fucking don’t!” he screams, startling Jaemin almost off the bed. His fingers are burning and he locks them together, breathing through his nose. “For once, can you not? Can you just stop saying that?”

Renjun scoffs. “Saying what? The truth? What are you so scared of, huh? It can’t be being rejected because, clearly, Mark’s already admitted his feelings. So, it’s got to be something else. You can’t screw up your friendship any more than it’s already been fucked up—”

“Renjun,” warns Jeno. “Stop.”

“Why should I? Mark’s been in pain for years because he’s always been putting their friendship before his feelings. And you and I both know that Donghyuck feels the same. The one time, Mark gets the courage to actually confess, he gets rejected, and for what reason?”

Jaemin reaches out to take Donghyuck’s hands in his. “There’s a reason you’re doing this. And I can guess what it might be. But is it worth it?”

Donghyuck wants to take his hands back. Jaemin, unfortunately, is a lot stronger than he appears and there’s no way he’s going to let go.

The thing is, Jaemin probably does understand. Much like Donghyuck, Jaemin is an observer, but only when it interests him. Donghyuck catches everything even if he doesn’t want to. Jaemin catches things he wants to. Both of them are hardly ever wrong in what they see. So, yeah, Jaemin probably does know and that terrifies Donghyuck, but he’s not going to say anything about it because he doesn’t want to prove anything. Or even disprove anything. He just wants to stop talking.

Sensing he won’t get an answer, Jaemin nods and squeezes Donghyuck’s hands. “Mark is right. You guys need time. Let him do his thing and you do yours and if things want to be fixed, well, you’ll come back together.” He gives a half-smile. “You two were always like magnets. Can’t stay away for too long.”

Magnets.

Donghyuck vaguely remembers Mark making a comment about him revolving around Donghyuck. Like a planet around the sun. But Donghyuck’s never seen it like that. He’s always thought _he_ were the revolving planet, Mark’s sun keeping him steady and anchored. Without him, Donghyuck’s just spiraling out into space.

He’s not sure how long he can last without Mark here. He really wishes he wouldn’t have to find out.

*

For the next couple of weeks, Donghyuck spends way too much time sticking his nose in his textbooks. It’s grating and boring and he hates every minute of it, but when he’s not with his friends, he’s got too much time on his hands. Time that usually would have been spent with Mark while he studied and Donghyuck pretended to.

Studying, he notes, is just a formality at this point. Whether he puts in the effort or not, he gets good grades and passes all the tests—the ones he doesn’t purposefully flunk just because he’s bored. So, sitting down on Sunday night going through his textbooks for literally no reason at all, except for the fact that he has nothing else to do, is just pathetic.

Slamming his mathematic book closed, Donghyuck throws himself back onto his bed. It causes his stuffed lion at the edge of his pillow to fall onto his face. Tiredly, he lifts it away. Its button eyes glitter back at him.

He remembers the day Mark brought it to him and, as silly as it sounds, it’s probably one of the most precious gifts he’s ever gotten. Even if it’s kind of a dust collector, it’s cute. And it was a gift. Donghyuck isn’t planning on getting rid of it any time soon. That being said, it just makes him think of Mark and that consequentially makes him upset, so he sets it as far from him as possible without getting up and curls himself into a ball.

It’s too bad everyone’s busy. Otherwise, he probably would have snuck over to Jaemin’s house or something for company.

He catches sight of himself in the mirror that hangs off his closet door and sighs. Not only does he look tired, but he looks like a tired disaster. He supposes that’s what happens when people fight with their best friends, or with anyone they care about, really. It wears you down until there’s nothing left but exhaustion.

At some point, he’s going to have to deal with his hair, too. It’s been blond since late last year, when he finally managed to get all the orange bleached out. But now his black roots are growing out and he’s going to have to fix that. He thinks something low maintenance because, really, dying his hair doesn’t seem all that entertaining anymore. Not with how he currently feels anyway.

He’s closing his eyes when a knock comes at his door. Twisting around, he calls, “Come in.”

It inches open and Jungwoo sticks his head in. “Hey, can I talk to you for a moment?”

That doesn’t sound good. Still, Donghyuck straightens and gestures for Jungwoo to perch at the end of his bed. Luckily, his cousin has the sensibility to close the door. Being one of the first rooms at the top of the stairs, Donghyuck’s received a little too many glares and disgusted looks when his aunt and uncle pass by—especially if Jungwoo is with him—so he just keeps the door closed as often as possible.

In Jungwoo’s hands are some papers. He holds them out for Donghyuck to take. At first, they don’t look all that interesting until he spots the pictures along the bottom of rooms. It makes him raise a brow.

“They’re apartments,” Jungwoo clarifies. “Just a few I’ve been looking at. I figured maybe you and I could go take a look at some in the next few months, see if we can find something you’d like. I thought about trying to get a place in the same building Taeyong’s in, but I wasn’t sure if that would be something you wanted.”

Right.

Donghyuck kind of forgot that they had decided to move out once he had graduated from high school. Jungwoo had been promising it for years and Donghyuck had always wanted that. He’d love to get out of this house, away from Jungwoo’s parents, and start their own life far from all of this. Of course, a part of him had wondered if Jungwoo would take it all back. With Jungwoo dating Lucas, Donghyuck had kind of thought Jungwoo would want to move in with his boyfriend instead. The fact that he’s holding potential new homes is sort of elating.

Donghyuck tries really hard not to smile. “What about Lucas?”

“What about him?”

“Well, I just figured you might want him to move in with you.”

Jungwoo purses his lips. “I do. But I wouldn’t ask him if you were uncomfortable with it.”

“Ask him,” he says, handing the papers back. “They all look good. And if you want to find an apartment near Taeyong and the others, I don’t mind. But ask Lucas. It’ll cut down the rent.”

Shoving Donghyuck’s shoulder, Jungwoo says, “Whatever, brat. So, you sure? I know it’s a lot to deal with. Moving is going to be pretty stressful. Mom isn’t going to be happy when she finds out.”

“Don’t tell her until moving day?”

“Don’t laugh, but I did actually think of that.” Jungwoo sighs. “It’s not going to be easy. She’s going to be furious.”

Donghyuck pulls his knees up to his chest and shrugs. “She’ll be more furious with me. Blaming me for taking you away.”

“Yeah,” Jungwoo quietly agrees. “I had hoped that within the last few years she would have relaxed a bit, but I think she’s been wound tight for so long that she can’t seem to let it all go. It’s not fair on you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do. There’s no way you couldn’t not care. You’ve been living in this house for nearly nine years. All that toxicity of my parents is bound to affect you in one way or another. You’re strong, Donghyuck. But you don’t always need to be.”

Perhaps not. But being strong made things a hell of a lot easier. And the more he fakes his strength the more it feels like it’s really there. One day, he knows it might crumble on him because, in reality, it’s as flimsy as paper. Until then, he’ll just keep holding out hope that he can fake it until he makes it.

And even if he were to let it all crumble, he wouldn’t do it in front of Jungwoo’s parents; the two people who have purposefully gone out of their way to ignore him _and_ make his life a living hell simultaneously. How they’ve managed to perfect that lifestyle, he won’t ever know, and he also doesn’t really give a fuck.

It’s true that when he was a lot younger, he was almost terrified of them. They had never been welcoming. They had always deemed him a monster, called him dangerous, spat his name as if it were a curse. Donghyuck thought he had deserved it, and, now, he still sort of does. He knows what he did destroyed two people. Two people he loved the most in the world. He’d never be able to get away from that guilt. But the older he got, the more he realized that he just didn’t care what they thought about him.

They could spit at him, curse at him, threaten to send him away. Donghyuck learned that the only thing he’s ever had to trust in is that Jungwoo wouldn’t leave him.

It’s nice to know his trust wasn’t misplaced. He would have understood if Jungwoo didn’t want to continue down the road he had planned with Donghyuck, but he does want to. He’s put actual thought into it and Donghyuck just really loves his cousin.

“You shouldn’t worry so much,” he says as he turns a cheeky grin on Jungwoo. “You’ll get wrinkles and then Lucas will finally realize what an old man he’s shacked up with.”

Jungwoo hits Donghyuck on the arm with the papers. “I’m only a year older!”

“Old man!”

He practically squeals when Jungwoo tackles him onto the bed to tickle him. The whole thing ends up in a somewhat vicious pillow fight and, for a moment, just a moment, Donghyuck forgets about Mark, about the impending future of what will happen. And it’s nice. Really nice.

*

Donghyuck sits at the back of the room, mainly because he can hide behind one of the taller boys in class and avoid most of the questions his teacher likes to shoot at them during a lesson. If he’s hidden, he’s forgotten. It’s also a very good spot next to the window. There’s been times Donghyuck’s lost his focus out this particular pane of glass even if nothing really happens out there. Much to his displeasure, Donghyuck doesn’t share his classes with any of his friends and, so, staring out the window is the best past time he’s ever going to get.

Sometimes, he wishes he actually cared about school, if only to have more fun. Unfortunately, school sort of puts a damper on his life because he’s always been a bit more free-spirited, a bit uncontrolled and undisciplined. It isn’t that he purposefully goes against authority. Or even against school, in general, for that matter. It’s just that he gets bored. And when he gets bored, he needs to break a few rules.

That’s why breaking and entering, and even just simply trespassing, was so thrilling. It isn’t regulated, it isn’t stingy. It allows him to stretch his wings and do his own thing. Donghyuck isn’t meant for a controlled, scheduled life, and he knows that. That’s one of the main reasons he doesn’t like the idea of university.

Donghyuck knows that if he tried, he could do it just fine. The thing is, he doesn’t want to do it. To sit in more classrooms and listen to people drone on all day about useless facts isn’t Donghyuck’s idea of fun. Not to mention that he doesn’t really have anything in particular he wants to do.

Mark’s always wanted to go into writing and music. It’s been his passion since before Donghyuck met him. And, while he doesn’t want to go pro, he likes basketball. Getting that scholarship last year sealed a lot of deals for Mark when he finally goes off to university next year.

Even his other friends have an idea about what they want to do. Although he’s tossing between two majors, Jaemin knows it’ll be one or the other. Renjun’s already got himself set up for a full linguistics course because their local university actually _sought_ him out.

Donghyuck isn’t like that. He has interests, sure. He has hobbies, too. But none of them are something he’s ever wanted to go to school for just to get a stupid piece of paper that he might actually burn to a crisp when he finally realizes how much money it’s actually worth.

And, as time ticks by, Donghyuck’s starting to think that taking another year to explore his options might be a good idea. Then again, if he does, he might never go and is that any better?

The bell snaps him out of his thoughts and the scraping of chairs across the linoleum floors fills the room. Donghyuck’s on his way out, trailing behind the last of his classmates, when his teacher calls out his name.

That’s never a good sign.

Mr. Lee peers over his glasses at Donghyuck, completely comfortable in his chair, as he takes out a sheet of paper and lays it down on the desk. A red 42% stares back at Donghyuck and he can’t even find it in himself to care because he knows. He knew that was what he was going to get. He had calculated it before handing the test in.

“I know,” Mr. Lee starts, “and _you_ know, that you can do better than this. You’ve done better than this.”

Oh, Donghyuck does know. He had all the answers when he read the questions. Then, he got bored and decided to make a stickman using the multiple choice scorecard just for the hell of it.

“I’m sorry?” He knows he doesn’t sound convincing. He doesn’t need to because, as Mr. Lee stated, they both know he isn’t sorry at all. He did the score on purpose.

Sighing, Mr. Lee stands up and rounds the desk so that he can hold the test right in front of Donghyuck’s face. “The thing is, Donghyuck, you’re not stupid.”

“I don’t think I am, sir,” he replies. “I like to think my street smarts are definitely above average. Look both ways before crossing the street and everything.”

“Donghyuck, you aren’t just street smart. You’re _smart_. In fact, I might say you’re a bit of a genius.”

Waving a hand at his face, he coos, “Aw, Mr. Lee. You’re making be blush.”

“Albeit, a lazy one.”

Ouch. That hurts. But also? True.

“You’ve got an amazing memory, Donghyuck. I’ve seen it at work. All your teachers have. You just don’t put in the effort. Honestly, I think that if you had done so much earlier, we could have skipped you a grade.”

Well, now that he knows that he kind of feels kind of stupid. He could have been with Mark this whole time. Then he remembers homework and actually doing the work and, yeah, okay, Mark is tempting, but not that tempting.

“I’m sorry I bombed the test, Mr. Lee. I just don’t—”

“Care,” Mr. Lee interrupts with a raised brow and smile that seems a little too close to understanding than Donghyuck’s expecting. “Trust me. I hated school, too. It’s not exactly the most thrilling thing.”

“Now, you teach it.”

“Yeah. I subject myself to brats like you, who remind me a little too much of me when I was your age. Maybe I’m just a sucker for self-punishment.” He puts the test down. “Not the point. The point is, if you don’t start taking things seriously this year, you’re ruining a lot of chances for yourself.”

Donghyuck can’t help but snort. “Chances like doing more school? Wow. Sounds like a blast. Sign me up.”

“Donghyuck.” The tone in his teacher’s voice gives him pause. “You have so much potential. With your mind, you could do anything you wanted. I have no doubt about it. I see a lot of kids walk through my door each year and very few of them do I think could make it as well as I think you could.”

Holding his books close, he mutters, “It doesn’t matter.”

“You’re right. It doesn’t matter,” he says with a nod, “unless you put in the effort. I’ve seen when that light goes on in your head. You’ve got a quick mind and an even quicker tongue. People kill for that, Donghyuck. So, I have these.” Mr. Lee reaches into his bag and pulls out a small stack of papers. Carefully, Donghyuck takes them. “They’re universities. Including the one here in town. Check them out. I think you’ll find that there’s a lot they have to offer and a lot you might find great interest in.”

“Thank you, Mr. Lee, but I really don’t think more school is for me.”

“It’s not for everyone,” he agrees. “There are people who do just fine without post-secondary. People who manage to break the mold. I admire them. But wouldn’t you want to see what kinds of things you can do with that brain of yours? To really check out your potential and see where it can take you?” He leans against the desk and crosses his arms. “Look, I’m just your teacher and, at the end of the day, this is ultimately your choice. But I would hate to see you waste yourself just because you don’t want to sit in a classroom. There are more than enough programs that even avoid classroom settings. Take a peek. It won’t hurt you.”

Donghyuck fans out the pamphlets and print-outs. There are so many of them that he’s not really sure how to register it all.

“One more thing,” Mr. Lee says, taking advantage of Donghyuck’s silence, “a lot of those schools offer scholarships to kids who show exemplary skills in school, like honor grades. Know anyone who might reach those quite easily?”

The corners of Donghyuck’s lips twitch when he finally looks up. Mr. Lee seems quite smug with himself and, while Donghyuck might usually like to try and break that, he feels like today isn’t the day. Sliding the papers together and into his textbook, he smiles back in full this time.

“Thanks, Mr. Lee.”

“Any time,” he says. “Just no more stickmen on your scorecards, Donghyuck. I expect more from you.”

“I’ll try to perfect my Mona Lisa.”

“Get out, Donghyuck.”

Laughing, he hurries out of the room, leaving Mr. Lee shaking his head behind him.

School, he thinks, isn’t really his thing. But there’s no harm in checking out options.

*

For the next couple of weeks, Donghyuck doesn’t tell anyone about the university research he’s got hidden under his bed. He hasn’t applied to any of them, so there’s no use in explaining it. Still, he likes to leaf through it every now and again and wonder.

His friends are already filling out their applications and Donghyuck knows he’s going to do his at the last second if he really decides to do it. At this point, he’s come to terms with his procrastination. So, he isn’t all that surprised when he walks into Jaemin’s room to see his desk filled with university applications—even though they all know he wants to go to the local one like his family’s done before him and where all their other friends want to end up, too.

He is surprised, however, to see Mark in Jaemin’s desk chair, eyeing one of the many pamphlets. Donghyuck likes to think that not a lot of things can catch him off guard. Unluckily for him, Mark always manages the impossible.

“Quit hovering by the door, Hyuck. Come in,” says Jaemin from his bed, waving him over.

Mark looks up right then, eyes just a little wide. Although, judging by how fast he schools his features, it seems like he had a forewarning about this meeting, while Donghyuck sure as hell didn’t. Fucking Jaemin. Always keeping things secret just to enjoy the show.

It’s kind of unfair, Donghyuck thinks, that Mark’s here, hanging out with them as if nothing had ever happened. Except, for everyone else, nothing _did_ happen. Mark never left everyone else behind, only Donghyuck. Which means he’s still been calling, texting, hanging out with all of Donghyuck’s friends whenever he wants. It makes sense that they’d invite him. It’s just annoying that they did.

What Donghyuck finds curious is that Mark visibly knew Donghyuck was going to be there. There’s no doubt in his mind that Mark, behind his normal nervousness, was prepared. For someone who was so adamant to give them both a break, he’s somehow broken his own rule just about a month after making it clear to Donghyuck that they needed space.

This is also the first time they’ve both been in the same room since the day at SM Entertainment. The same day Donghyuck fessed up about everything that happened between them and, _oh fuck_ , he hopes no one has said anything. Mark seems to be on edge his normal amount, so he must not know. Right?

Putting the pamphlet down, Mark sneaks another glance at Donghyuck and says, “I like your hair.”

Instinctively, Donghyuck reaches up to touch it. He pulls at a strand of caramel brown hair. By now, he would think Mark was used to the constant shifts in color because Donghyuck tended to do it often. Whenever he was bored or whenever he felt like he needed something different. But Mark was always completely unabashed to stare in surprise when Donghyuck showed up with a completely different color.

Kind of like right now.

Mark’s dark eyes drag across his hair to his face and there’s a faint smile on his lips that makes heat curl in his chest and float up to his cheeks. Before, Donghyuck could play it off, laugh it off, or merely even tease Mark for staring. Now, he’s not really sure how to take it because all he can focus on in Mark’s voice in his head, whispering that he loves him and it does all kinds of things to his body he’s not prepared for.

He nearly jumps out of his skin when Jaemin drapes himself over Donghyuck’s shoulders from behind and says, “Definitely better than the pink you gave me. But brown? Really? What happened to all the fun, bright colors?”

“I liked the pink,” says Jeno from the other side of the room, cutting Donghyuck’s reply off before he can even get a word out. He’s on the floor with Jisung and Chenle, playing cards. Renjun’s also there, but he seems to be very preoccupied with his phone.

“Too bad, so sad,” Jaemin tells him with a roll of his eyes. Donghyuck shivers when Jaemin whispers into his ear, “Relax. We didn’t tell him we knew.”

Donghyuck’s eyes snap to Mark, who tilts his head, evidently not having heard what Jaemin said. Good. That’s good. He finds the tension leaking from his body almost immediately. Annoyingly, some of it stays because Mark is still watching him as if he’s trying to memorize Donghyuck’s face. Maybe that’s to be expected, seeing as Mark hasn’t seen Donghyuck in a month. He doesn’t think he’s changed that much, though.

“Come play a round,” says Jeno.

Jaemin slips off the bed to crawl to his side. He doesn’t pick any cards up, just looks at everyone else’s before leaning his head on Jeno’s shoulder, like it was meant to be there all along. It’s such a natural picture that Donghyuck has to look away. Not because he hates seeing his two best friends in love—well, unless they’re making out in front of him and then he’s got full priority to throw something at them—but mostly because it’s strange. Not a bad strange. Just…strange.

After years of pining, Jaemin’s finally got Jeno as a boyfriend and that’s great. It’s wonderful, even. There’s nothing about that Donghyuck dislikes because why the hell would he? Jaemin deserves happiness just as much as the next person and Jeno is like happiness personified. Not to mention, Jeno’s also been pining for almost as long as Jaemin, so it works out quite perfectly for each other.

So, no, Donghyuck isn’t upset about seeing them together.

Well, almost.

At first, it had been great. Even if he had poked fun. Then again, when does he not poke fun at Jaemin and Jeno? They’re probably the most tease-able people after Mark. Jeno gets so red and Jaemin can get so riled up that words aren’t making any sense anymore. It’s entertaining.

Donghyuck is and will always be insanely happy for them. This is all they’ve ever wanted and they have it and they’re just so fucking happy that it’s nauseating sometimes. They’re just so cute, he can’t help but support it.

It’s just that there’s this underlining twist of his stomach whenever he spots them holding hands, or whispering in each other’s ears, or even kissing. It’s not necessarily a bad feeling toward _them_ , but maybe just toward what they have. In simplest terms, Donghyuck is kind of envious because he knows he’s not going to get that.

Okay, yeah, he had a chance to get that. Donghyuck’s had people confess to him before—including but not limited to his best friend—but he’s always concluded that being alone is sort of how he’ll be for the rest of his life. Mainly because he’s making it so. Donghyuck knows that anyone who dates him won’t ever be safe. His powers are too untamable, too unruly. They haven’t calmed down and they aren’t going to calm down, at this point. Bringing someone into his life like Jaemin and Jeno have, like Mark wants him to, is not only stupid, but fucking dangerous. Donghyuck isn’t an idiot. He knows that.

And, sure, he knows Mark is willing to put himself into a dangerous position for Donghyuck. He’s done it before. But that’s what scares the shit out of Donghyuck because Mark doesn’t think. He reacts. And that’s how he ends up injured. Donghyuck doesn’t want to keep hurting him. It’s terrifying.

So, as much as Donghyuck would love to hold someone’s hand and kiss them in the street and do all that sweet, cheesy shit that most couples do, he knows he’s not going to get that. And that’s kind of heartbreaking.

The mattress sinks beside him and Donghyuck looks up to find Mark taking the place Jaemin just vacated. He smiles slightly. “Hey, how are you?”

Not okay, Donghyuck thinks. Not completely, anyway. He’s got so many things going on inside his head that he’s not really sure how to sort them. Donghyuck’s never been a very organized person and now he’s kind of regretting not figuring out how to do it. Everything is swirling in his mind like a storm, making it nearly impossible to focus on one thing at a time.

But Mark doesn’t need to hear that, so Donghyuck settles for, “I’m fine,” and hopes that Mark will accept that.

The look he gets is incredulous at best with a raised brow and twist of the lips and Mark looks like he wants to press. Except his mouth pulls into a tight line, eyes down-turning, second guessing the idea. Donghyuck wonders if Mark is doing it because he feels like he doesn’t have the right to ask or if maybe he’s come to find it fruitless.

As much as Donghyuck tells the truth, he doesn’t always give all the answers away. By now, it’s a defense mechanism that even he, himself, can’t stop. Although, he’s not sure why he needs to defend himself from Mark. Mark’s never been a threat.

Patient, kind, loveable Mark with the world at his fingertips and the stars in his eyes. Mark, who has done nothing but try to get close to Donghyuck, only to have himself shoved back. Repeatedly. Donghyuck knows he’s not worthy of him. Never has been.

“This is awkward,” Donghyuck mutters as he glances toward his friends who have started up another game.

Mark hears him and chuckles under his breath. “Just a bit. But I’m glad to see you.”

“You could see me more if you actually came around,” he bites back. It’s not completely cruel, but just enough for Mark to wince because, _really_ , this is his fault. He decided they needed a break. Donghyuck was set on continuing forward.

Probably a little bit selfish of him, he thinks.

“You know why I did what I did,” whispers Mark, eyes on their friends, too, just to make sure none of them can hear. When he glances back, Donghyuck catches his gaze and realizes just how much he’s missed those stupid doe-eyes. “So, how’s school?”

Donghyuck snorts. Loud enough for Renjun to glance up from his phone and the others to sneak peeks. They’re quick to go back to their game. If Donghyuck didn’t know any better, he’d think they set this up just for Mark and him to talk. Such extravagant lengths.

“Really, Mark? School? We haven’t talked in a month and you want to discuss school?”

Mark has the audacity to look bashful, rubbing at the nape of his neck. “Just trying to break the ice.”

“We’ve been friends for years. Why would we need to break the ice?” He rolls his eyes. “We used to talk all the time.”

He gets a hum in response and it sounds noncommittal, but he can tell that Mark is more dubious than anything because he’s picking at the sheets and not looking at Donghyuck at all. Even he can see what Mark is thinking. They used to talk all the time, but not actually talk. There’s been so many unsaid things between them for years that Donghyuck wonders what kind of best friends they really are; with Mark opening his heart, yet keeping a piece of it secret, and Donghyuck refusing to open up at all, but laying out just enough to say he tried.

They’ve failed. That’s the only thing Donghyuck can think of when he takes in Mark’s form, curled up on Jaemin’s bed and refusing to look at him. They’ve failed and they’ve ruined it and now he has no idea how to fix it, only that he so desperately wants to.

Part of him wants to reach out and take Mark’s hand, stop him from putting a hole in Jaemin’s blanket. He holds himself back. It’s possible he’s just feeling touch-starved, although he’s not sure how because he crawls all over Jaemin and the others daily. No, he knows why. He just doesn’t want to think about it.

Instead, he says, “Stop that. You’re going to put a hole in it.”

Mark’s hand immediately stops and pulls into his lap. He peers at Donghyuck through his dark eyelashes and Donghyuck hates how his heart just sort of melts. _Fuck_ , this is such a mess.

Tearing his eyes from Mark, he starts to get off the bed. “Move over, Gummy,” he says to Chenle, “I want in.”

Chenle shifts closer to Jisung and hands him a set of cards. They aren’t very good, but no one has to know that. Donghyuck’s learned how to bluff over the years.

When he glances back at Mark, he finds his lips are downturned, appearing a little at a loss from Donghyuck’s obvious distance he’s suddenly forced on them. Taking pity on him, Donghyuck says, “What are you waiting for? Get over here so I can kick your ass.”

Mark coughs a laugh, sliding to the floor and taking the spot between Donghyuck and Jaemin. “I’m assuming the rules still stand, then?”

“That I always win?” He passes Mark a hand of cards and smirks. “Absolutely.”

Mark’s smile is disarming and it takes a moment for Donghyuck to wrap his mind around it and what it does to his heart. Only a moment, however, because he’s quick to pull himself together, roll his eyes, and put his attention onto the game before him. He tries to ignore the way Jaemin openly stares at him or how Renjun keeps glancing up from his phone just to do a blank pass between him and Mark. He definitely tries to ignore the way Mark’s arm keeps brushing his when he reaches for the pile in the middle or how he keeps shooting looks out of the corner of his eye at Donghyuck when it’s Donghyuck’s turn.

It’s a lot and Donghyuck tries so hard to keep it as normal as possible. Even though his body wants to react in a completely abnormal way. He’s uncharacteristically tense. He knows it and he’s sure that everyone else knows it. They’re just keeping their mouths shut. Thankfully.

Being around Mark isn’t supposed to feel like a dreadful, nervous meeting. It’s supposed to feel easy, effortless, like it used to. Except, now there’s something hesitant in how they handle each other and it’s not right. It feels awful.

And he knows it’s his fault just as much as it’s Mark. Maybe even more so.

So, he keeps pretending that no one can see just how uncomfortable he is, how robotic his motions feel, and plays the game and jokes with them all just how he would on any other normal day.

By the time he has to leave, it’s pouring rain out. Pellets thunder against the glass of Jaemin’s window until it’s shaking. Donghyuck can already feel how cold it’s going to be on his skin. As much as he loves cooling down—mostly due to the fact that he’s basically always running a fever—he’s not a fan of getting wet if he doesn’t need to. Riding his bike home in rain doesn’t sound like fun to him.

He’s glaring at the way water streaks against the window when Mark stops at his side and nudges him. “I’ll give you a ride home. We can put your bike on the back of the car.”

He wants to tell him he’s fine, that he can handle it, that he doesn’t need Mark to help him because he’s had to do things without Mark for a while now. But he ends up nodding after catching Jaemin raising a brow at him from the bed, daring him to reject the offer. Donghyuck doesn’t like giving in easily, but he also doesn’t like dealing with Jaemin and his annoying need to be involved in things he doesn’t need to be involved in.

That’s how Donghyuck ends up helping Mark attach his bike to the rack on the back of Mark’s Volkswagen. Rain soaks through their shirts and rolls down the back of his neck. Everything down to his shoes sticks to him in all the wrong places. Mark fiddles with the latch with wet fingers that don’t want to grip. When it finally clicks into place, he ushers Donghyuck to the passenger side while he rounds the driver’s side and they both slip inside.

Mark cranks the heat, despite it being April, and rubs his hands together to shake the cold of the rain. Sighing, Donghyuck closes his eyes and forces the heat in his core to spread until it sits right under his skin. With a final push, a hissing sound fills the car and he can feel the way his fire steams against the water that’s latched onto him. He shakes out his arms and ruffles his hair. After a minute, he’s dry as can be, reaching out for Mark’s hands and clasping them in his.

Like any other time he uses that trick, Mark ogles him with dark, round eyes and an expression of absolute wonder. Donghyuck avoids his gaze, his own locked on their hands and how Mark naturally reaches out for him just as he always would and clasps Donghyuck’s fingers in his, seeking warmth.

The quiet is disrupted by the sound of rain beating down on the car, but it’s still there; enough to put pressure on his eardrums and wish one of them was talking. He’d take anything at this point to cut through the awkwardness.

“Thank you,” Mark mutters, fingers flexing against Donghyuck’s. They’re warming slowly and Donghyuck thinks he can probably let go soon. “Forgot how handy your power was.”

“Only when it counts.”

He makes the mistake and looks up. He doesn’t know why he does it. He could feel Mark’s gaze on him, heavy and so very open, without having to search for proof. But his resolve slips for just a second and he finds himself staring back, breath halted in the base of his throat when he realizes how close they are.

They always get here, he thinks. Always just inches away with the tension filling the space and their bodies leaning in like they can’t wait to collide. Donghyuck feels it and he knows Mark can feel it, too. Mark’s gone ahead and proved that. It may have been almost a year ago, but he can still feel Mark’s breath on his lips and the warmth of his hands and the way the lantern casted them in gold. Before Donghyuck decided to shatter the moment and Mark’s heart for the sake of them both.

Mark’s dark eyes are like blackholes. The temptation to just keep staring is palpable. It takes everything in Donghyuck’s power to look away. It hurts as he does, tearing his eyes away and back to their hands. This is safer. This is okay.

Shit, he’s so fucked. His heart is in his throat and his blood pounding in his ears and his fire is curling like a snake in the pit of his stomach, desperate to explode. He can feel Mark’s erratic pulse through his fingers, see the way his hands shake even being held by Donghyuck’s. Or maybe it’s Donghyuck who’s shaking. He doesn’t know.

Time away, apparently, hadn’t worked well for Mark. Not even for Donghyuck. Because they’re still where they were months ago, trembling with too many emotions they can’t handle.

It’s only a few minutes later when Donghyuck’s finally able to peel his fingers from Mark and sit back in his seat to watch the rain outside. The skin of his hands tingles as he tries to shove his fire down, along with every thought that’s decided to come spiraling up from the abyss he likes to keep locked away.

Touching Mark does that. Destroys any sort of control he has on his mind, on his feelings. There were times when he could trick himself into thinking it was nothing, when he could throw himself onto Mark and play it off as a character and not Donghyuck himself. It’s getting too difficult to play that character now.

Donghyuck is relieved when Mark doesn’t say anything. He simply, in silence, starts up the ignition and pulls out of the laneway and onto the road, heading to Donghyuck’s house.

His fingers are burning and he keeps them intertwined on his lap, terrified to touch anything just in case he leaves burn marks or just melted plastic. He sneaks a glance at Mark. Posture stiff, arm muscles pulled tight, Mark keeps his eyes on the road. His t-shirt is sticking to his body, leaving nothing to the imagination, and Donghyuck kind of wishes he could do the same trick he did on himself on Mark.

When they come to a stop at a red light, wipers speeding back and forth like a metronome, Donghyuck says, “We’re pretty fucked up, aren’t we?”

Mark flinches at his voice before glancing at him with wide eyes. “You think?”

Shrugging, he elaborates, “What friends do you know who go on breaks, Mark? You don’t get to take a break when you’re friends. You’re either friends or you’re not.”

“I don’t think that’s completely true,” Mark says. The light turns green and the car rolls forward. “Just because we don’t talk all the time anymore doesn’t mean that I won’t come running if you call me or something. You’re still my friend, Donghyuck. No matter what.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to tell,” Donghyuck admits. Spotting Mark’s furrowed brow, he adds, “I’m not saying you’re a bad friend. You never have been. You’re kind of,” he watches the rain slide down the window, “amazing, really. But lately we haven’t been friends, Mark. You don’t talk to me. I don’t talk to you. And now we’re here and neither of us knows what to say or what to do. We’re just back where we started.”

The muscle in Mark’s jaw jumps as he clamps his teeth together. He knows that Donghyuck is right. He just doesn’t want to admit it. Even Donghyuck doesn’t want to, but someone needs to. Someone needs to try. He’d prefer if they both did.

“We keep too many secrets,” Mark says, voice barely a whisper.

Donghyuck looks at him, startled.

Sensing Donghyuck’s speechlessness, he continues, “There’s too many. We talk, but we don’t actually. Our communication is horrendous. There are times I know I’m actively holding back, and I know you are, too. And it’s not that I don’t want to tell you. It’s just that I don’t want to ruin what we have.” He shakes his head. “But what we have is too fragile and just a bit superficial. We depend on each other, but also not at all.”

“Fucked up,” Donghyuck says when he finds his voice. “Pull over.”

Mark’s eyebrows shoot up. “What?”

“Pull over. Right here.”

“Why? Dong—”

“Mark Lee, shut the hell up and pull over.”

The blinker goes on and the car slides over to the side before coming to a complete stop. Donghyuck beats Mark at putting on the four-ways and the emergency break. He ignores Mark’s protests and questions as he unhooks his seatbelt, reaches over the console and over Mark’s lap to hit the button on the other side of the driver’s seat. The seat shoots backward, eliciting a shocked gasp from Mark. He clicks off Mark’s seatbelt before climbing onto his lap, straddling him. He has to lean forward, into Mark’s chest, just to keep the steering wheel from digging into his back.

This feels oddly reminiscent and it takes him a moment to realize that he’d done this before. In a dream. Pressing himself so close to Mark and capturing his lips in a kiss. It’s enough of a thought to make his fire shoot to the surface, but he forces it down and wraps Mark up in a hug instead, purposefully avoiding Mark’s confused expression and the way his own face is flaming at the memories his mind’s decided to show him. He buries his head into the crook of Mark’s neck and focuses on how the dampness of Mark’s clothes sinks into him.

“Hyuck, wh—”

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, lips brushing against Mark’s skin and drawing out a shiver. “I’m sorry.”

“Wait, Hyuck.” Mark’s hands fall on his arms. He tries to push back, but Donghyuck only holds on tighter. “Hyuck, come on. Look at me.” With another tug he manages to unlock the arms around his neck and force Donghyuck to sit back—nearly hitting the horn—and takes Donghyuck’s face in his hands. “Duckie, what’s wrong? Why are you apologizing?”

Donghyuck keeps his eyes down, set on Mark’s collar that’s slowly drying. “This is all my fault.”

He gets a small, breathy laugh in return. The thumbs below his eyes swipe across his cheekbones. “I distinctly remember confessing to you. Not the other way around. Unless you’re thinking rejecting me is the source and, even then, you’re wrong. This isn’t your fault, Hyuck. What could you have done? I would have hated it if you accepted me when you didn’t like me back.”

If only he knew, Donghyuck thinks, quite sorely. His eyes are burning, so he closes them and lets Mark’s hands drift from his cheeks to his neck, leaving a trail of fire behind them.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. With all the courage he can muster, he opens his eyes and meets Mark’s. They’re so open and concerned, sparkling with a hint of curiousness in the bad lighting of the car. Rain pounds down around them. “I miss you. I don’t want to lose you. And I know,” he takes a deep shuttering breath and Mark’s hands slide down his shoulders to his forearms, “I haven’t been the easiest to be around. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time and I depend on you. I know I do. It’s selfish and I know it is, but I fucking miss you. I care too much about you, and the last people I really cared about died.”

He hates that his voice cracks and that Mark’s hands tighten in response. It’s an action that forces him to go back to his original position, head on Mark’s shoulder and his arms around his neck. Mark’s hands find a place on his hips.

Mark wants secrets and honesty. Donghyuck’s always been good at honesty, but only when it never really gave away a secret. But if this is what it takes to keep Mark in his life, he’s willing to compromise. Maybe not the whole way, but baby steps. One secret at a time until he can’t anymore. Until it’s not safe.

“I wasn’t lying all those years ago when I said you were the best thing that ever happened to me,” he whispers. “Losing you is like losing a piece of me and I don’t think I could handle that. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. I wish I could give you what you want, but I can’t.”

“I can’t force you to like me,” Mark says in his ear and, this time, it’s Donghyuck who shivers. “I don’t expect you to just love me that way, Hyuck. If you don’t, you don’t.”

“But if I don’t, I can’t have you. You keep leaving me.”

Mark’s arms tighten around his middle, pulling them closer. “I’m not leaving you.”

“But you are,” he argues. “You’re leaving me. We haven’t spoken in months, Mark. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. And maybe I’m being selfish—”

“Stop, okay? You’re allowed to feel this way. Your feelings are valid, all right? We just,” a pause, “need to figure this out, so that it works for both of us. Maybe we can just take it slow. Maybe we just need to figure this out together.”

Donghyuck leans back and he can’t help but notice how red Mark’s ears are, how wide his eyes are. Little blackholes, he thinks.

“You want secrets, but I don’t know what else to tell you.”

Shaking his head, Mark says, “You don’t have to tell me anything, right now. Just be honest when you can. Openly honest. Not the honesty you normally deal out. And I’ll do the same. Deal?”

It’s a dangerous game. So dangerous that he’s pretty sure that both of them will get burned if this goes wrong, but Donghyuck nods anyway because he’s never felt so desperate in his life as he clings to Mark in his old Volkswagen in the middle of a storm.

When Mark finally drops him off at home Donghyuck thinks this is okay. Something feels better, even if the rest of it still feels the same. At least the base is stable enough now to start building on again. That’s the only thing he can think as he gets out, unlatches his bike from the back of Mark’s car, and hurried inside, rain splashing him in the face as he goes.

Yeah, this is okay.

It has to be.

*

It’s sometime in early June, past his birthday, when Mark texts Donghyuck to tell him that Taeyong is getting married. 

They’ve been trying to keep up with communication and sometimes it’s still hard. There are still times where Mark disappears for hours and the anxious thought that Mark might just ditch him again comes to the surface. But he never leaves for long and Donghyuck keeps having to remind himself that they’re trying. They need to keep trying if they want this to work.

So, it’s not all that surprising when he gets a text message at lunch, Jaemin leaning on him to read it with him. At Jaemin’s screech—Donghyuck swats at him because now he might be deaf in his right ear—Chenle jumps and his pudding goes flying across the table at Renjun and Jeno, splattering their faces. Jisung bursts into laughter, Chenle in apologies and snickers, and Donghyuck wants to join in, but all he can do is stare at Mark’s text with a ringing in his ear.

**Mark:**

**Jaehyun finally manned up and  
proposed to Taeyong.**

**Tae’s having a dinner this Friday**

**Asked me to invite you**

**If you want to come that is**

**Let me know and please, for the**  
love of god, don’t skip English  
again

“Married,” Donghyuck whispers to himself, clutching his phone.

Jaemin’s leaning across the table to take Jeno by the collar—while Jeno’s trying to clean the pudding off his face—and starts shaking him out of sheer excitement. Donghyuck wonders if Jaehyun’s going to message Jaemin or if Jaemin will beat him to it. Either way, Jaemin’s always been a fan of weddings. There’s no way he’s not going to enjoy every moment of this and drag Jeno along with him.

“I can’t believe he did it,” Jaemin says as he collapses back into his chair. His smile is so wide it shows off all his teeth. “He’s been talking about it for months. Said it was so hard to not have Taeyong find out.”

“As it would be when you’re trying to keep a secret from a mind reader,” points out Renjun. He wipes at his face and shoots Chenle and Jisung a glare when a glop of pudding lands on the table.

Jaemin nods. “It’s going to be a big deal. Jaehyun’s parents have been planning his wedding since he was little.”

“It won’t be legal here, right?” Chenle asks.

“No, Jaehyun wants to take them to his hometown in America to get them officially hitched. But they’ll still have a nonofficial wedding and a big party, if his parents have anything to do with it.”

Donghyuck spins his phone in his hand, unsure what to do with the nerves that are fluttering in his stomach. Marriage. Wow. That’s kind of important and incredible and Donghyuck’s kind of stunned. He’s known Taeyong since he was young. Not overly well, but they’ve spoken and Taeyong’s always been nice to him. Now, he’s getting married and they’re all getting so much older. Donghyuck’s not sure how he feels about it.

“And it looks like you have a date Friday night,” Jaemin says, elbowing Donghyuck in the ribs.

Shoving him away, he says, “It’s not a date. I’m just going to a dinner. Besides, it was Taeyong that invited me. Not Mark.”

“You sound kind of disappointed by that,” teases Renjun. The corner of his lips twitch as if he’s trying to stop himself from smirking and Donghyuck kind of wants to make it go away because, no, just no. They can all mind their fucking business. There’s nothing going on with him and Mark and there never will be.

“I sound tired of your bullshit,” Donghyuck snaps. When everyone glances at him with wide eyes and lifted eyebrows, he sighs and adds, “Can we just be happy for Taeyong and leave it at that?”

They do. Jaemin is the first to snap out of it, immediately drawing all their attention onto what Jaehyun’s parents may or may not do for this momentous occasion. Taking advantage of the lack of focus on him, he texts Mark back.

**Donghyuck:**

**Am I going to have get a suit for this?**

**Mark:**

**For the dinner?**

**Nah. Casual is fine**

**Donghyuck:**

**Then I think I could make it**

**Mark:**

**Awesome! Pick you up at 7**

And that’s exactly when Mark shows up at his front door in all his ridiculous glory. Donghyuck nearly chokes on his tongue. Luckily, he catches himself, spinning around to get his jacket so he doesn’t have to stare at Mark for too long because, _fuck_ , he looks good.

Fucking hell, Donghyuck should have known this was the kind of dinner that required a little more effort than just casual. Too bad he had taken Mark’s word for it. Idiot Mark Lee, who’s in black skinny jeans and a dress shirt with one too many buttons undone at the top and his black hair styled like he has it at work that shows off his perfect face and Donghyuck is staring again.

God damn it. Being gay is hard when he’s surrounded by handsome men. At least he doesn’t want to stick his tongue down all of their throats. That would be embarrassing and messy.

He had tried to at least dress himself better than he normally would when going out with his own friends. Mostly because this was Taeyong and, believe it or not, Donghyuck was kind of intimidated by him. And it wasn’t even just that Taeyong could read his mind—an intimidation feature all on its own—but because he meant so much to Mark. He was the older brother figure Mark never really got to have and they were so incredibly close. Donghyuck never wanted to give Taeyong a reason to have Mark give him up or to even just simply make him hate him. Being around Taeyong made Donghyuck want to impress.

Except, Mark said casual, so Donghyuck had pulled out his best jeans and his best t-shirt and slid on his favourite leather jacket, which will definitely come off as soon as they make it to the meal because he’s already so hot in it. He’d even styled his hair a bit and tried to kohl-line his eyes. This is a special occasion and he was willing to give it a shot. Fortunately, it turned out a lot better than he originally thought it would. He may do it again for the wedding.

Either way, Mark looked a lot more formal than Donghyuck did. He just hoped he didn’t look too casual next to Mark.

“You look good,” Mark comments as Donghyuck nudges him back onto the porch and turns to lock the door. He’s glad his attention is on the lock because he’s pretty sure he’s flushing, and his heart squeezes. He’s never been good at taking compliments. Especially from Mark.

“Not so bad yourself,” is what he mutters when he gives the door one last wiggle to make sure it’s completely locked. He follows Mark to his Volkswagen. “How many people are going to be at this thing?”

Mark’s steering the car down the street before he answers. “Only a few. Taeyong and Jaehyun can’t take a crowd for too long for obvious reasons. And they’ve sectioned off the backroom. Honestly, don’t think it’ll help much, but what can you do?”

Taeyong, being a telepath, is constantly at odds with thoughts of the people around him, and his radius is quite large at that. Jaehyun is an empath, with virtually the same issue. Two powers that will never turn off no matter what they do. Donghyuck doesn’t think he’s quite at their level of inconvenience, but he knows what it’s like to have a power that feels out of your control, something you can’t grasp within your fingertips no matter how hard you try. Donghyuck’s power will always burn within him, reminding him that it’s there, ready to explode if he can’t keep a handle on it.

There’s not much he can do about his ability to keep it subdued, except constantly shoving it down until he can’t anymore. Taeyong and Jaehyun can’t do that. They can focus on certain people to ease the issues, but, in the long run, they’re still using their powers. While the walls of the backroom won’t protect them from the rest of the restaurant, or even the street, it might help carrell the thoughts and emotions around them.

Although, by the time they get there, Donghyuck still feels bad because it looks like Jaehyun’s parents have invited a few extra people. Taeyong’s kept it small. He has Mark, Johnny, Doyoung, and Jungwoo, who came straight from class. And, of course, Donghyuck. Jaehyun’s got his parents, his aunt and uncle, his grandfather, and Jaemin.

Jaemin, who immediately spots Donghyuck as he passes over the threshold into the room and raises a brow, eyes flicking between him and Mark and then back again. There’s something calculated in that gaze that makes Donghyuck want to avoid him for the time being, so he focuses on grabbing a seat next to Doyoung and drowning himself in the nearest glass of water.

Taeyong smiles at him from a few seats away. “Thanks for coming.”

Nodding, he says, “Thanks for inviting me.”

He’s not really sure why Taeyong invited him. They’re not insanely close and Donghyuck isn’t a part of his groomsmen. Nonetheless, he’s here, sitting beside Mark as if he’s meant to be there. It feels a bit strange, to be honest. He’s closer to Johnny than he is with Taeyong.

Taeyong seems to read his thoughts because his smile softens just slightly and he leans over to say, “Wouldn’t be right without you. Besides, Mark needs someone to help him focus during this. His mind will start wandering the moment plans start coming up.”

“That’s not true,” Mark whines. “I can be helpful.”

“Never said you couldn’t be,” Taeyong laughs. Jaehyun calls his name, so he turns to his now-fiancé and, _wow_ , that’s a look Donghyuck’s never seen on Taeyong’s face. All fondness and love and utter infatuation. It’s cute.

Ah, and there’s that sour aftertaste of envy he was waiting for.

His hand tightens on the glass of water, fingers wet with condensation. No one really seems to notice his discomfort and that’s probably for the best. Taeyong’s so wrapped up in everyone else’s minds and Jaehyun seems to be completely focused on Taeyong’s emotions. Well, everyone but Jaemin.

Jaemin’s eyes narrow at him from across the table. Much like with anyone else, Donghyuck doesn’t like to talk about feelings with Jaemin. Feelings are tiresome and annoying. They’re something Donghyuck would rather repress than allow himself to embrace. It isn’t that he thinks it’ll make him weak, it’s just that they’re complicated and frustrating and Donghyuck has enough in his life without having to manage his sadness and envy and even happiness.

But right now, Jaemin seems to gather a piece of information he never had before because his eyebrows unfurrow and his eyes go a bit rounder than normal. Donghyuck’s not sure what he’s caught, but he hopes he won’t reveal it any time soon.

The waiter takes his attention and Donghyuck fumbles his way through his order—he hasn’t really had a chance to look at the menu—until Mark steps in and saves him, ordering something that sounds completely fine with him. He mutters a thank you under his breath and Mark just smiles at him, all soft and easy and Donghyuck hates this. He hates this so much.

There’s a table off to the side with pitchers of different drinks, so he decides he needs to visit that if only to get away and breathe. This is a celebratory dinner for a couple who are about to get married. It’s not even an engagement party. Yet it still feels so formal and final and Donghyuck gets this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach that reminds him that he won’t ever have this. Nothing like this.

And to come here with Mark. Maybe not _with_ Mark. It wasn’t really planned like a date or something, but he’s here, arriving with him, sitting beside him, while Mark’s friends talk about weddings and flowers and cakes. It’s—It’s a lot.

“You look like you’re at a funeral,” Jaemin whispers as he comes up next to Donghyuck and fills his glass with juice. “Smile a little. This is a happy occasion.”

Donghyuck’s tongue feels heavy in his mouth and it stops him from responding. Perhaps, Jaemin didn’t catch anything after all. Maybe he’s safe for now.

“You came with Mark.”

“Yeah,” he manages. “Yeah, he drove me here. What about it?”

“Nothing,” Jaemin says with a shrug. “You guys seem to be getting better. Are you?”

Donghyuck chances a look at Mark, at the same time Mark glances over his shoulder at Donghyuck. For a second their eyes meet and Donghyuck’s heart flips, uncontrolled, untamed. He’s the first one to look away, a little startled at being caught.

“I guess.”

“You guess?”

Copying Jaemin, he shrugs. “We talked, I guess. Didn’t really fix much, but didn’t really break anything more. I call that a win, for now.”

“For now,” Jaemin agrees. “But for how long? Hyuck, I saw that look. The one you made when you saw Taeyong and Jaehyun together. You want this, too.”

Shit. Maybe he wasn’t safe.

Donghyuck doesn’t look at him, doesn’t reply. He thinks that if he doesn’t make a peep that maybe Jaemin will stop while he’s ahead.

He doesn’t.

“Why do you keep stopping yourself from having something like this? Why do you keep stopping yourself from liking Mark?”

“Mark is my best friend.” By now, even to Donghyuck, it feels like an automatic response. Practiced. It’s not a lie, but it certainly doesn’t feel like the truth.

“Why can’t he be more?”

His fire lashes inside him, anger hitting him like a truck, and he glowers at Jaemin. Through Jaemin’s startled eyes, he can tell that his own have flashed gold, bright and unrelenting. “Why do you have to stick your nose into it? There’s nothing there, Jaemin, so stop pushing it, all right?”

There’s a beat, where Jaemin’s simply too stunned to answer. But then he sighs. “I’m always here if you need to talk.”

“I don’t need to talk. I need people to stop forcing things on me that I don’t want. Mark and I are friends. That’s it. Leave it alone.” He inhales deeply and forces out a, “Please.”

Jaemin shakes his head, almost resigned and leaves him at the table without another word. It’s probably for the best. Donghyuck’s still feeling frustration and fire rolling around inside him, and that fire wants to burn. He won’t let it. Not here. Not now. Not like this. He won’t let it make him an angry, wild monster. There are enough people who believe he’s like that and he doesn’t want to help prove it.

He fills his glass with water and downs it before refilling yet again. This is at least covering the waiting time before the food arrives and he doesn’t need to sit there while people talk about wedding venues and photographers. Although, he knows Johnny will end up being the photographer and not take the payment. He’s like that.

“If you keep drinking, you’re going to have to use the bathroom at least six times this evening,” comes a quiet voice from behind him and Donghyuck nearly spills his water as he spins around. Probably looking as if he’s a kid with his hand stuck in the cookie jar.

Taeyong smiles at him and it’s radiant because everything Taeyong does is radiant and worth of all the envy in the world. Donghyuck remembers when he was younger, when he met Taeyong for the first time, all awkward stares and nervous hands, and thought, _wow, I want to be just like him_. He kind of still does.

Unlike most of the people Donghyuck surrounds himself with, Taeyong is something a little otherworldly. Ridiculously handsome—no matter the hair color; right now it’s blond—stupidly patient, incredibly kind, and just all-around good person. Not so much different from Mark, though Taeyong had a hand in raising Mark, so that probably helped. Still, no matter how many times Donghyuck sees him, or talks to him, he’s kind of intimidated because Taeyong is, well, Taeyong, and it’s kind of hard not to be.

Donghyuck knows he’ll never be like Taeyong. He’s never been patient. Quite the opposite. While he can be kind, he’s also not afraid to be cruel if he needs to be. Regardless of what people think, he’s not a good person. He tries to be. Oh, does he try. But he slips up too much to deem himself worthy of that kind of title. And there’s no way he’ll ever be as handsome as Taeyong. At least, in his opinion. None of that matters, however, because he still wants to be like him and he wants Taeyong’s approval, as well, even if he pretends he doesn’t. Most people do.

“Be careful, wouldn’t want to make a mess,” Taeyong says as he reaches around Donghyuck to grab a napkin and wipes at the small puddle Donghyuck’s made at the edge of the table. “How are you?”

The question kind of stuns him. It’s sort of a standard Taeyong question—along with ‘Have you eaten?’—but sometimes Donghyuck can’t, for the life of him, wonder why Taeyong actually cares about how Donghyuck is doing. Then again, Taeyong cares about everyone. Almost as if he can’t stop himself.

“Fine,” he says. Taeyong raises a brow and he immediately changes his answer because who is he kidding? He can’t lie to Taeyong. It’s literally impossible. “Overwhelmed.”

“I’m sorry.” Taeyong really does seem apologetic and that’s probably because he knows exactly how Donghyuck is feeling about this whole situation, even though he’s kind enough not to mention it. “I know it’s a lot.”

“Can’t be any better for you. You’re the one actually getting married,” he says. “Congrats, by the way.”

Taeyong chuckles, light and airy. “Thank you. It’s a little surreal, if I’m being honest. Kind of can’t believe it’s happening. Sometimes I ask Jaehyun to pinch me, just to make sure I’m not dreaming.”

“Well, it’s kind of a monumental moment. Marriage. Wow.” Donghyuck puts his glass down on the table, but keeps his hand around it. The coldness of it seems to be helping him stay grounded. “Anyone would be, um…”

“Overwhelmed?” he offers with a smile.

Donghyuck nods. “Yeah. I guess.”

Humming, Taeyong turns so he’s leaning against the table. He taps his foot against the hardwood as his eyes scan the room before finally falling on Jaehyun and keeping them there. “It’s certainly something. But, you know, despite all the nerves and fears, I’m really happy. I’m sure anyone would be lucky to have this.”

Donghyuck glances at him and Taeyong’s now looking back at him with a knowing hint to his smile. So, maybe Taeyong had heard his thoughts earlier. “I’m sure they would.”

“Would you want this?”

The question catches him off guard. It probably shouldn’t, yet it does. He makes a noise, not quite words, and he stupidly—so fucking stupidly—looks to Mark for just a moment. Mark, who’s busy laughing at something Johnny said, so happy and so full of life. Donghyuck has to turn his back on him to keep his gaze away.

“I’m sure anyone would,” he says, repeating Taeyong’s previous words.

“You always were a difficult one to read,” Taeyong says, suddenly. Seeing Donghyuck’s raised brow, he elaborates, “Your thoughts. I used to think it was because we weren’t close enough, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore. I think you’re just so used to being guarded. That’s not a bad thing. Don’t get me wrong. Having walls isn’t something to be ashamed about. However, adding doors isn’t that bad either.”

Donghyuck frowns. “Do you have to be cryptic, or do you just enjoy watching people try to figure it all out?”

Laughing, he says, “A little bit of both at this point. Listen, I like to let people figure things out on their own. That’s how people learn and grow. But sometimes we need a helping hand, right? Do me a favor.”

Donghyuck nods.

“Start trusting yourself.”

“What?”

“You won’t be able to trust anyone, until you can learn to handle your own shit. And, Donghyuck, you can’t handle your own shit. You like to pretend it’s not there.”

A harsh truth, but truth regardless. Donghyuck can’t get mad at that. “It’s easier that way.”

“Maybe. But you’ll start losing people if you can’t sort things out. People you care about. People you love.”

They both know who he’s alluding to, though neither of them say his name.

“Donghyuck, I know your struggles. I would never want to belittle those. But you have friends who want to help you carry that load you insist on balancing on your shoulders. They wouldn’t ask if they didn’t want to help. Just know that. And maybe, just maybe, you could start learning to accept your own thoughts instead of keeping them buried under all that fire.”

He can’t help but scoff. “You make it sound easy.”

“It’s not,” Taeyong admits. “God, it’s horrible. No one enjoys baring themselves out like that, are you kidding? It’s the worst thing in the world. Makes you feel embarrassed and vulnerable and like you kind of want the whole world to suck you up and hide you away for all eternity.” He casts Donghyuck a smile. “But it’s so rewarding after. You get a sense of relief and you get so much more in return.”

“Got some experience?”

Taeyong looks to Jaehyun again, as if his eyes physically can’t leave him for too long. “Yeah, a lot. And you will, too. If you can learn to trust yourself to make the right choices.”

“Did you invite me just to tell me all this?”

“No, I was totally serious about keeping Mark focused for the rest of the night,” he says. “But also, yes. I did want to talk to you.” Brows furrowing, he adds, “Mark came to me after that night at the treehouse.” Donghyuck tenses. “He had told me he wanted to give you guys time to sort things out on your own.”

“You agreed?”

“I told him you’d go searching for him if he did.”

Donghyuck laughs. “I did.”

“That you did. Not at all surprised. You two never could stay away for long. Such an odd pair, and yet somehow you work.” Pushing himself from the table, Taeyong brushes off his jeans and says, “Mark really cares about you. That much you know. And I know how much you care about him. Don’t make him a stranger, Donghyuck. It won’t help either of you, in the end.” The door to the room opens. “Food’s here. Let’s eat, yeah?”

Even after Taeyong leaves, Donghyuck remains at the drink table, mind a bit of a mess. More like a tornado. He’s not sure how to take Taeyong’s words or advice. He’s not sure he really wants to understand, even if part of him does.

He thinks it’s a bit unfair, for Taeyong to unload all that on him all at once, when he’s not prepared, not in the right headspace to begin with.

There’s just so much there. On the surface and in-between the lines. So much that Donghyuck’s not sure he can figure it out all on his own, no matter how smart he is. It’s so annoying, the fact that Taeyong never openly says anything, never gives too much away. All-knowing, yet somehow never bestowing any knowledge. None that people can’t get on their own.

In a way, he knows what Taeyong’s saying. It’s not anything he hasn’t told himself at least once in his life. Allowing himself to understand his own emotions, own thoughts, own fears and issues. Donghyuck just doesn’t like to. It’s easier not to.

But Taeyong’s right. How is he meant to trust anyone if he can’t trust himself? Is it worth it, to live a life where he keeps everything to himself? Maybe. It’s definitely safer. It keeps them all off the hook and away from danger. Because Donghyuck is wildfire in a bottle and one wrong move and he’s lighting the world aflame whether he wants to or not.

“Hey,” Mark says as he touches Donghyuck’s elbow to get his attention. “You okay? What did Taeyong say?”

Mark’s always been one to test the limits, to run into fire for Donghyuck even when he shouldn’t. He’s always willing to put himself on the line, to trust Donghyuck in ways that Donghyuck—admittedly—doesn’t trust him. Donghyuck wants to. He wants to trust Mark with everything he has, but Mark is already willing to burn himself at the stake for him and he isn’t sure it’s safe to reveal anything else that would make Mark do anything stupider than that.

“We were just talking about the wedding,” Donghyuck says, trying to ignore the fact that Mark is still holding onto his arm and it’s warm. So warm.

“Oh, well, food’s here. Come on. Before it gets cold.”

Nodding, Donghyuck follows him back to the table. Taeyong smiles at him as he sits down, because he knows. He knows everything. Donghyuck doesn’t have to say a word. He wants to think, _ha_ , at least one person knows all his secrets. But Taeyong is cheating and it’s not the same and the person who _should_ know all his secrets is right beside him.

Too bad he’s not willing to utter a word to him. If only for Mark’s sake and not for Donghyuck’s at all.

*

Engagement parties, Donghyuck decides, are kind of useless. They’re like a wedding, without a wedding. Or a reception party, just months before the actual reception. He doesn’t really get them. Then again, he’s not the one who has to put up with it. All he has to do is put on a suit and be there. He gets free food, so he’s not sure why he’s complaining.

Oh, yeah, he’s bored.

So bored out of his mind.

And he’s not even at the party yet. Mark had picked him up about an hour ago and now he’s dying in his tuxedo Jungwoo got him about a week ago. It’s not properly fitted and it’s too tight around his upper arms and thighs. Jungwoo promised to get him a proper one for the actual wedding. For now, he’ll just have to suffer for a few hours.

He’s sitting on one of the loveseats made of white leather, next to a very nice fireplace with flowers on the mantle. Everything is overly white and floral, even the wallpaper. It seems a little too nice to be in and Donghyuck hadn’t even wanted to sit on the couch until Mark pulled him down into the cushions without a second thought.

Johnny, Taeyong’s best man, is busy fixing Taeyong’s tie. His suit is white, almost pearlescent and it shimmers in the lights, flickering blue, purple, and sometimes pink. It’ll look incredible under the fairy lights Jaehyun’s parents have put up over the venue’s hall. It’s also a striking match with his now bright red hair. Donghyuck remembers Jaemin saying that Jaehyun has an affinity for Taeyong with red hair.

Doyoung’s already left to set up the DJ booth with Lucas, which leaves Jungwoo, Mark, and Donghyuck to wait around until Taeyong’s set to leave. Judging by the faint echoes of people walking and talking, he assumes it’ll be soon. Which is fine by him because the faster they get this over with the faster he gets out of this monkey suit.

Beside him, Mark passes comments back and forth between the rest of them. He looks like he did when Donghyuck first saw him at his workplace. His black hair and black suit make his skin glow and Donghyuck kind of thinks it looks like it’s shining moonlight, but he squishes that thought down because, _no_ , he’s not going to be stupidly poetic like Mark is. He’s just not. Even still, he can’t help but think that Mark looks good in a suit, all dressed up and pristine. Older.

“Why don’t you and Mark go help finish up out there and the rest of us will join you,” Taeyong says to Johnny, straightening out his tie and nearly choking him when he tightens it.

Johnny gasps and swats Taeyong’s hands away. “If you wanted me out, just say it. Don’t choke me.”

“Sorry.”

“You are not,” he grumbles, snatching up his suit jacket and heading toward the door. “Come on, Mark. Hurry, before he tries to murder you, too.”

Mark laughs. “Mom fixed my tie, so it should be good enough for Taeyong to leave alone.”

“And indeed it is,” Taeyong agrees. He turns to the mirror. “We’ll be out in a minute. Promise. And don’t let Jaehyun near the wine, please! I want him sober at least for the first couple hours of this thing.”

Standing up, Mark asks, “You okay to stay? Or do you want to come with?”

Donghyuck’s not really sure he’s up to going out into the party yet. Normally, he’d be jumping up and down to go dance or meet everyone. He’s a social butterfly, generally. But right now, he’s just not feeling it, so he tells Mark to go without him. Mark frowns, looking a little dejected, and follows Johnny out.

There are times Donghyuck wishes he could drink. Not until he’s blackout drunk or anything, but just enough to ease his tensions, calm his nerves. Taeyong would never allow him. Jungwoo might. And the law definitely disagrees. Perhaps it’s for the best, he thinks. When he looks up, Taeyong’s staring back at him through the mirror and he smiles. Donghyuck’s not even worried that Taeyong heard those thoughts. At least it wasn’t begging for whisky or something.

“If you keep playing with it, you’ll mess it up,” Jungwoo says as he stands and heads over to where Taeyong’s trying to fix his hair. Donghyuck’s not sure why. It looks perfect. Then again, nervous fingers never know what they’re doing. “Stop it.”

“I can’t help it. The crowd is a little much. I’m going to have to keep escaping tonight.”

“Just do what you can. That’s the best you can do.”

Taeyong nods. “When you have an engagement party, don’t make it this big. It’s not worth it. Control your in-laws.”

Donghyuck blinks. “Wait, what?”

“Oops,” Taeyong says, yet his smile seems anything but sorry.

Frowning, Jungwoo hisses, “You did that on purpose. You never meddle and this is how you want to break your streak?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

As he leans forward, Donghyuck questions, “What’s he talking about? Wait, are you engaged? Are you getting married? Since when?”

“Hyuck,” Jungwoo sighs.

“Nuh uh, tell me. Show me,” he demands, rising to his feet and holding out his hand.

Jungwoo stares at it for a moment. “Show you what?”

“The ring. Duh.”

“How do you even know I have a ring?”

Donghyuck scoffs. “It’s Lucas. Of course you have a ring. Now, show me.”

With another sigh, heavy and long, Jungwoo loosens his tie and reaches down the front of his shirt to pull out a chain. He slips it over his head and drops it into Donghyuck’s awaiting palm. It’s not anything flashy. Although, Donghyuck wasn’t really expecting that. While Lucas likes to spoil, he knows that Jungwoo likes to keep things simple. It’s a basic silver band with a small diamond imbedded into the top. It looks freshly polished and Donghyuck wouldn’t put it past Jungwoo to clean it any chance he had.

“How long have you had this?” he asks, voice small as he rolls the ring around his palm. It glitters prettily and that curling dragon of envy spikes.

“Not long,” Jungwoo replies. “Just a few months. We won’t be getting married any time soon. We weren’t even going to tell anyone until we had actually decided on dates. Taeyong only knew because, well, he’s Taeyong.”

He holds it out for Jungwoo to take and hide away again. “Wow. Um, congrats. That’s really…cool. I’m happy for you.”

And he is. He’s insanely happy. Jungwoo and Lucas have been together the longest out of all the couples surrounding him and Donghyuck knows that Lucas has wanted to marry Jungwoo for years. He’s been planning it, even asking for advice. Donghyuck just hadn’t known it had happened. It’s a lot. But he’s so, so happy.

“I should, um,” he gestures to the door, “go find my friends. I think they’re here now. And we wouldn’t want Mark to trip over something and hurt himself. Or someone else.”

“Heaven forbid,” Taeyong agrees, though his eyes tell Donghyuck he’s still sorting through the chaos in Donghyuck’s head. All the thoughts he’s trying not to think. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to do that now.

He’s almost made it to the door, almost to his escape, before Jungwoo asks, “Hey, Hyuck, did you take your pill?”

“Yeah,” he says, propping the door open. “Yeah, I did. See you out there.”

His suppressants aren’t going to help this feeling, he thinks. It’s not going to fix the issues he’s so desperately trying to ignore. All it does is keep him from overheating at this point, which is a plus, he supposes. But nothing will ever be able to tame his fire. He’s not even sure he can. Fire’s meant to burn, to consume, it’s not meant to be controlled.

“Hyuck!”

Jaemin waves at him from the desert table. The hall isn’t overly large, but it suits over fifty people quite nicely. Tables have been set up on one side of the room and lights have been strung around the pillars and across the ceiling beams. On the other end of the room is a small stage with a microphone for speeches and the DJ booth that Doyoung is manning. Some people have already started dancing while the rest keep clustered together, chatting happily amongst themselves. Even though Jaehyun is moving through the crowd, welcoming anyone in sight, he looks tired and Donghyuck knows the emotions in the room are probably going to make him take a break soon.

Donghyuck crosses the room to his friends. Chenle’s already gotten into the dessert, his tiny plate overwhelmed with baked goods Taeyong made. He reaches over to steal one of the little cakes.

It’s kind of odd to see all his friends in suits. Their school uniforms are about as formal as they get, but, even then, they don’t keep them as clean cut at this. Jisung seems to be the only one having issues, constantly pulling at the legs of his slacks because they’re just a tad bit too short.

“How weird is this?” Chenle asks as he eyes all the people around them. Donghyuck doesn’t know them all and he’s not sure he ever will. A lot of them are Jaehyun’s family since Taeyong doesn’t have contact with any of his blood relatives, other than his uncle. “Taeyong’s getting married. Our Taeyong. I still think it’s bizarre.”

“I’m happy for him,” Mark says. “He thought he’d never have anything like this. Jaehyun and him are lucky to have found each other.”

“They’re super cute. I can’t imagine two people better for each other. Well, besides me and Jeno.” Jaemin takes Jeno’s hand with a smile that rivals the sun.

Donghyuck retches, making Mark roll his eyes and Chenle snort. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I do that out loud.”

“Oh, laugh it off,” Jaemin says with a wave of his hand. “When you get a partner, I’m not holding back.”

He doesn’t even bother responding and starting yet another debate. Unlike Taeyong, who was lucky to get Jaehyun, Donghyuck knows he won’t ever be. He’ll be alone until the end of time. That’s the safest choice.

“Are we going to dance?” Chenle asks, looking to Jisung.

Jisung ears go red. “Uh, maybe later? The party hasn’t even really started yet. Oh, I think speeches are happening.”

Donghyuck meets Renjun’s gaze across their circle and raises a brow. Yeah, Jisung won’t be getting away with not dancing with Chenle tonight that easily. Nevertheless, Jisung does seem to be right because Doyoung picks up the microphone and starts the show.

There’s a lot of words, a lot of people, a lot of applause. Donghyuck is barely paying attention to it because his mind has suddenly decided to shut down on him. The only thing he can manage is to smile and to clap when Jaehyun and Taeyong get pulled onto the stage to thank everyone for coming. They look happy. They look in love. It makes his heart ache.

Taeyong’s eyes are sparkling and, despite the obvious headache he’s sporting, he looks at Jaehyun as if he’s the only one that truly matters in the world. It’s a look that Donghyuck knows well because he may have caught himself doing that once, and he’s caught Mark look at him like that more than once.

It’s…It’s so hard. So difficult. And so utterly unfair.

Donghyuck’s fingers twitch when Mark’s hand brushes his to get his attention. “You okay?”

Has he ever been? Is it all finally sinking in now? Right now, in a venue hall with more than fifty people surrounding him, while they all congratulate a couple for their upcoming nuptials? Really? If Donghyuck could manage to laugh, he would. Because the whole thing is so ridiculously fucked up that it should be hilarious.

Now is the time his mind decides to unravel all the feelings and thoughts he kept carefully wrapped up and hidden. Now is the time his body decides to be anxious and nervous and completely on the other end of the confidence spectrum. Now is the time he can’t escape without any questions asked.

Donghyuck’s always known the truth. He’s always somewhat accepted it to a certain extent before realizing it was bad. Bad bad _bad_. And then he did what he could and he tried to make himself forget, to put on a new face and embrace a new attitude. He may like danger, but he doesn’t like dragging other people into it unless he knows he can get them out.

He’s feeling hot. So hot that he fears he’s burning and he wonders if his face is flushed, if his fingertips will start sparking. The desperate feeling to take off his blazer is an urge he can’t shake. Except, if he takes it off Mark might question it and then he might realize how hard Donghyuck is holding back right now, how hard he’s trying to keep his fire down as his panic rises to his throat.

No, he thinks. He can’t do this right now. Right now, just isn’t going to work for him.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he lies. “I’m going to get a drink. Want anything?”

Mark shakes his head, so Donghyuck heads toward another table where they’ve set up pitchers of various drinks. He goes for the water and sighs when his fingers instantly cool as they brush the glass. He could seriously go for a cold shower or a very cold pool. Anything to dowse the burn spreading through his body to the tips of his limbs.

“You look like you’re about to collapse.”

Donghyuck pulls his hand away from the glass, turning to face Renjun. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

“If you’re sure.”

Crossing his arms, he says, “I am. What do you want?”

“I can’t come talk to one of my best friends? Harsh.”

It’s not that Donghyuck doesn’t want to talk to Renjun. If ever he needed someone to be bluntly honest, to the point of cruel, Renjun would definitely be at the top of the list. But right now, he doesn’t need that. He doesn’t need Renjun reminding him of things he doesn’t want to remember. He doesn’t need tough love. He doesn’t even need simple love. He just needs people who are going to distract him.

Renjun isn’t going to do that.

Clicking his tongue, Donghyuck goes back to his original tasks and gets himself a drink while Renjun does the same. At the end of the table, Johnny is talking to Ten, who looks very exhausted and very annoyed. Donghyuck doesn’t know him all that well, but he’s met him once or twice. He never seemed particularly happy those times either. Not that Donghyuck would expect that from a guy who communicates with the dead on a regular basis.

“I heard from Jungwoo you guys are going to be moving soon,” says Renjun.

Donghyuck nods. “Well, we’re still handling the lease, but, yeah. Soon. Into the same building as Taeyong and Johnny.”

“I bet you’re happy to get out of the house, finally.”

None of his friends really understand what’s happened between Donghyuck and his aunt and uncle. They know they don’t get along and they don’t talk. They know they don’t treat him with any kind of love or respect. Mark may be the only one who knows that Jungwoo had to practically beg his parents to let Donghyuck live with them in the first place, and keep him when they wanted to send him back into the system at fourteen.

So, the comment isn’t unwarranted. Donghyuck kind of expects that. Especially from Renjun because, despite his quiet personality, he’s more than willing to ditch tact.

And, in a way, he’s not wrong. Donghyuck is happy to leave his aunt and uncle, to start a new life away from them and that house and everything that made him miserable since he was eleven. There’s a reason he sneaks out a lot. He doesn’t like to be there. Moving out will be amazing. He won’t have to worry about sneaking into the kitchen to get dinner or overhearing the things they say about him. He can finally, maybe, possibly, relax.

That feels like a dream.

“Yeah, I am,” he admits. “Although, moving in with Jungwoo and Lucas may not be any better if they can’t keep their hands to themselves. I have a feeling I’m going to be kicked out a lot or my headphones are going to get a workout.”

“Ew, didn’t need that image, thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome. But what about you? You said you were going to stay at home, right?”

“Well, actually, there was a change of plans,” Renjun tells him. “We’re getting an apartment in the same building as you.”

Donghyuck frowns. “We?”

“Yeah, me, Jeno, Jaemin, and,” Renjun wrinkles his nose as he lifts his glass to his lips, “Mark.”

“Mark.”

“Jeno and Jaemin are going to share a room, so we needed an extra person and Mark offered. We were going to ask you, and we even went to Jungwoo about it, but Mark was quick to offer himself up. We’re on the first floor.”

It isn’t that he’s mad they’re all moving in together. He couldn’t care less about that because he’ll probably end up crashing on their couch either way. It’s more about the fact that he and Mark won’t be able to escape each other anymore. They’re in the same building. Avoiding will be extremely difficult and he wonders if Mark’s thought this through. Donghyuck’s going to beg Jaemin for a key—he would have even if Mark was there or not—so he’s going to have access. Well, it’ll certainly be helpful and unhelpful depending on their current situation.

Although, it’s not so bad at the moment.

“Is that okay?” For the first time in, well, ever, Renjun appears a bit nervous, worried even. Like he’s regretting telling Donghyuck so easily. Maybe even guilty for having the four of them together and Donghyuck on his own.

“What? Yeah, of course. Whatever works, right?”

Renjun doesn’t seem all that convinced because he frowns and asks, “You sure?”

“Seriously, it’s fine. It makes sense and it’s not like you guys are that far away. But just so you know, you’ve subjected yourself to more Donghyuck Time by being this close in vicinity to me. And it’s all your fault.”

Smirking, Renjun says, “I’m not letting Jaemin give you a key.”

“Who said I even needed a key? Lockpicker, remember? The key is just a formality.”

“You have one too many illegal talents, Donghyuck, and it will get you into trouble one day.”

“Only if I get caught.” He goes to take a drink when movement catches his eye. Ten’s picking up one of the pitchers of ice water. After saying something to Johnny, he starts his way through the crowd. “What’s he doing?”

“Who?”

Donghyuck points because he’s a little stunned by the trajectory of Ten’s march. He rounds one of the many tables where a group of men are sitting. They all stop to watch him, one of them even asks him what’s going on, judging by the way his lips move. Donghyuck’s too far away to hear anything, but he can see Jungwoo and Johnny pushing their way through the crowd toward Ten, who then proceeds to dump the entire pitcher on top of the man’s head.

The music goes quiet. Everyone is looking. Ten slowly places the pitcher on the table and steps back as the man jumps from his chair, ice clinking on the floor and water dripping from his face. The place goes quiet.

“What the fucking hell? You brat! What did you just do?”

Ten snaps his fingers at Jungwoo, because Jungwoo is undoubtedly—and quite rightfully so—stunned, and says, “Dry him off, please.” Then, he turns his sharp eyes onto the man before him. “And, sir, perhaps you should learn to keep your dick in your pants. Jiwoo sends her regards.”

The crowd parts like the red sea as Ten walks off toward the glass door, which leads out into the gardens. There’s a brief moment of silence and then someone in a red suit, at one of the tables in the back, stands up and races out after Ten.

Jungwoo moves to help lift the water off the fuming man and gestures toward the door. Donghyuck kind of wants to know what his cousin is saying, but he can’t seem to make himself move. He’s a little bit shellshocked.

“Okay, well, uh,” Doyoung says into the mic, “let’s get this party back on the road, shall we?”

Music starts up again, something quick and with a heavy beat that makes Donghyuck snap to attention. Beside him, Renjun is snickering into his hand.

“Oh, my god. I can’t believe he just did that,” he gasps, trying to calm his laughter.

“He said Jiwoo. Wait, do you think that was for a ghost? Is this place haunted?”

Renjun shrugs. “I would assume not any more. I know, like, Ten’s probably not feeling the greatest after that, but I kind of admire him. That takes a lot of guts.”

Donghyuck can’t help but agree.

“Uh oh.”

“What?” Donghyuck follows Renjun’s line of sight to the middle of the dance floor. Jeno and Jaemin have somehow forged their way through and they’re a little closer than what could be considered socially acceptable for an event like this. “Fucking hell, this isn’t a strip club.”

“I’ve got this,” Renjun sighs.

He laughs when Renjun forces himself between Jaemin and Jeno, taking Jaemin by the ear and pulling on it. Jeno ducks away when Renjun goes for his ear as well, muttering something that makes Renjun shake his head and let Jaemin go. They stay there, in the middle of the floor, talking. Or maybe getting a Renjun lecture. Probably the latter.

Donghyuck’s still smiling when Mark comes to stand beside him, leaning back on the table and watching their friends with him. Chenle and Jisung have joined them now, trying to get Renjun to dance along to some kind of song that doesn’t seem to have any actual words in it. “They’re ridiculous, huh?”

“We’d hate it if they were boring,” he says.

“True. They keep us on our toes. Even if we don’t want them to.”

“I hear you’re moving in with them.”

Mark’s eyes widen, apparently startled by Donghyuck’s change in topic. Then, he nods. “Yeah, it just sort of happened. Figured I should try living on my own and they needed an extra person.”

“And it’s close to the university. That helps.”

“It does,” Mark agrees. Slowly, he turns around so he’s leaning forward on the table, hands gripping the edge. “About that. Did you ever decide to—Did you end up, um—”

“Applying?” he finishes, getting a nod in response. “Yeah, I did.”

Mark seems to physically perk at this and pushes up from the table so he can stand directly in front of Donghyuck. It’s a tad bit too close, he thinks. “Really? And?”

“And,” Donghyuck sets his glass down, “I got accepted.”

“Hyuck! That’s amazing!” Mark looks like he wants to hug him. His arms even come up to do so, yet he stays rooted on the spot and ends up just using his hands to gesture wildly. “I’m so happy for you. What did you end up applying for?”

“A few things. I have time to decide which I’m going to settle on.”

Mark’s smile softens. “Were you going to tell us on your own? Or just have us find out during orientation?”

“To be honest, it wasn’t that big of a deal to me. I was going to mention it eventually, but so many other things were happening that I didn’t think it was worth it.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m happy you decided to at least try your hand at it.”

“Yeah, I guess we’ll see how it goes. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. At least I can say I tried, right?”

“Right.”

Sparkles litter Mark’s eyes from the twinkling lights in the room. The somewhat cheesy part of Donghyuck’s mind keeps making connections between stars and the darkest parts of space and, _honestly_ , he really needs to stop because he’s sounding more and more like Mark and his overdramatic way with words. He supposes that’s what happens when you spend so much time with someone. You start thinking and talking and acting like them.

The booming dance music coming from the speakers slows and, over Mark’s shoulder, Donghyuck notices Renjun slip away so that Jeno can slow dance with Jaemin. Somewhere, a few couples over, Chenle’s managed to convince Jisung to do the same. Everything around them drags into a calmness. The talking turns to whispers, the party turns to something more subdued.

Donghyuck glances at Mark. He’s watching Jaehyun and Taeyong with a slight smile and Donghyuck doesn’t even need to ask to know that Mark is feeling particularly proud and fond over Taeyong at the moment. He’s practically glowing with happiness.

Lucas tugs Jungwoo onto the floor as well, tugging him closer by the waist and beaming. They both are. It’s so effortless and easy and they look so in love. Donghyuck thinks he understands what Mark is feeling. Like a bubble about to burst, rising up in him and forcing his lips to lift in a smile. He kind of wants to laugh, wants to shake his head, or roll his eyes.

From across the floor, Jungwoo catches his eye and waves. Donghyuck lifts his hand in response. He doesn’t miss the way Jungwoo keeps glancing between Donghyuck and Mark. Jerking his chin toward Mark, Jungwoo mouths something Donghyuck can’t quite read, but he knows the intentions, so he shakes his head. Jungwoo, frowning, purses his lips and glares, jutting his chin again. When Donghyuck refuses again, Jungwoo takes Lucas’ hand and drags him over.

“Why are you two standing here? You look bored out of your minds. Dance,” he orders before pulling Lucas away and back to their own dance.

Well, that’s a bit more abrupt than Donghyuck had been expecting. He studies his shoes, leaning against the table. While he’s not scared to dance, he’s not really sure how he feels about dancing with Mark. They don’t do that. He doesn’t even remember the last time they went to a dance together, or if they’ve even gone at all, and they certainly didn’t do it on their own, on purpose.

“Do you, uh, want to?” Mark asks, causing Donghyuck to look up with wide eyes. Mark’s ears are flaming red. “I just mean, if you want to. You don’t have to, but, like, if you do I don’t…mind?”

Donghyuck raises his brows before rolling his eyes and, summoning enough courage to not second guess, he takes Mark’s hand and drags him out onto the floor. Jaemin and Jeno spot them, but Donghyuck looks away before he can read their expressions.

It’s awkward and his body seems to be panicking a little because his heart is pounding and he’s pretty sure Mark can feel the heat of his fire even through his suit. He focuses on Mark’s tie when Mark’s arms wrap around his waist and he lifts his own arms around Mark’s neck. They don’t really dance. More like sway in a circle. Soft music fills his ears and he can feel the way Mark’s fingers splay against his lower back, pressing him a little closer.

Sighing, he tips his head forward until it’s resting on Mark’s shoulder. He doesn’t care if this brings them closer. Part of him wants that, wants the small gap to shrink until there’s nothing left.

Donghyuck can want, but he can’t have. He knows that. Sometimes, however, it’s just so hard.

“What’s wrong?” Mark asks, voice brushing along the outer shell of Donghyuck’s ear.

Donghyuck lifts his head so his chin can perch on Mark’s shoulder instead. He closes his eyes and tightens his arms. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

“You sure?”

“Right now, I am,” he admits, quietly. “We’re okay, right?”

Mark’s fingers flex along his spine and he has to suppress the shiver threatening to roll through him. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

That’s good, he thinks. That’s really good because, in the end, that’s better than nothing at all.

*

It’s kind of amazing what a few months can do. How friends can go from avoiding each other, to fighting, to being friends, to avoiding each other again, to having everything be settled in a weird, slightly awkward okay stage. Donghyuck’s always been aware that his life wasn’t easy, that it never will be, but fucking hell this is a roller coaster he didn’t ask to be on. Luckily, since he started talking to Mark again, the ride has slowly come to a stop. All he can do is hope someone won’t start it up again.

So, he takes what he can get as they hang out at Renjun’s. Jeno’s stolen Malcolm, Renjun’s rabbit, and is feeding him little bits of lettuce while he whispers to him. The rabbit looks up when he says something and Jeno nods, reaching over to grab a carrot. Watching Jeno communicate with animals is kind of relaxing. He’s so quiet and gentle. Patient, too. Maybe that’s why Jaemin likes to watch him as much as he can when the opportunity comes up.

“He really has replaced you with that thing,” Donghyuck comments as he digs into the bottom of the chip bag in his lap. Chenle keeps trying to steal from it, even though he has his own.

Jaemin, head rested on Jeno’s shoulder, says, “Don’t even care.”

The smile on Jeno’s face is bright and happy and it makes his eyes turn into crescents. Jaemin grips his chin to pull him into a kiss. Jisung gags, Chenle covers his eyes, and Donghyuck averts his attention to his chips.

“Remember that time when I said I never wanted to see them make out?” Renjun asks. “Oh, wait, I still don’t! Not in my house! Keep your horny hands off each other.”

Jaemin’s grin is unabashed, but Jeno’s ears are red and he’s trying very hard not to look away from Malcolm. Donghyuck kind of wishes he could have that. That undying love where he doesn’t care if anyone sees. Of course, he’s not much of a PDA person, in general, so he doubts that would happen, but still. It’s a small wish.

From beside him, Mark snorts. “As if they could manage that.”

“Don’t get mad at us just because you have no one to kiss,” Jaemin says, crossing his arms.

“No, I’m just mad at you because you play tonsil tennis in my line of sight,” counters Renjun. “And in front of my rabbit, too! Have you no dignity?”

“I do. But I have zero control when Jeno’s around. You should know this.”

Renjun rubs at his face. “I expected so much more from Jeno.”

“I’m sorry?” Jeno offers, but Renjun just waves him off, officially done with them both.

“When do you think the honeymoon stage ends?” Mark whispers.

Donghyuck bites down a smile. “With Jaemin? Never. It’s an ongoing endeavor. Get use to it, Canada. You’re going to be seeing a lot of Jaemin and Jeno’s tongues for the rest of your life.”

He feels Mark shiver beside him. “Urgh, gross. I didn’t need that visual.”

“You weren’t going to get a choice. They were going to give you that visual regardless,” says Donghyuck, giving him a smirk.

“Oh, lovely.”

“What are you two talking about? I want to know,” Chenle says, kicking at Donghyuck’s leg.

“Hey, watch it, Gummy. Don’t murder my chips.” Donghyuck moves the bag between him and Mark, which is probably the worst idea because now Mark is stealing from the bag and Donghyuck really wanted those to himself. Damn it.

“Well, if Jeno and Jaemin are done making out—” Renjun starts.

Jaemin shouts, “Never!”

“—I downloaded that movie we were talking about the other day.”

Twenty minutes later, they end up sprawled out across Renjun’s living room. Jaemin’s pressed up against Jeno’s side on the couch with Renjun on the other end, ready to kick them if they decide to do something not decent. Jisung and Chenle have taken the other loveseat, along with the better blanket of the selection, while Mark and Donghyuck take the floor. It’s not the most comfortable place to be, but he’d rather be here than next to the disgusting mess that is Jaemin and Jeno or the murderer that is Renjun or even the ever-whispering pair that is Chenle and Jisung. Nah, he’d rather take the floor, even if he has to be directly beside Mark.

He wonders if Mark can feel it. The shift in their relationship, the pull at the edges that was never there before. Their relationship has become much like a rubber band, stretched and released so many times that there’s a small fear in him that it might snap. That’s where he sits now, on that release, which feels so nice. Yet, part of him knows there’s a chance something might make it snap him in the face.

If Mark does feel it, he doesn’t say or indicate anything. He laughs and smiles like he would have before, and nothing feels out of place. But Donghyuck does. Donghyuck feels severely out of place, despite his desperation to pretend it doesn’t exist. He had learned once that if a person lies to themselves enough, they’ll start to believe it. He’s not so sure about that. Then again, maybe he just hasn’t told the lie long enough. Hasn’t pretended long enough.

Or maybe it’s that his friends don’t let him.

Jaemin watches him with perceptive eyes when Donghyuck gets up to get a new bag of chips since Mark finished them all. He narrows them when Donghyuck glances away and sits down, not playing the game tonight.

On screen, one of the characters gets arrested and Renjun decides to pop up with, “Oh, look, it’s Hyuck.”

Donghyuck throws a glare over his shoulder. “Please, I wouldn’t be that stupid and get caught. I’m smarter than that.”

“To be honest, he probably is,” Jaemin says. “Our Duckie is a slippery one. Too cunning for his own good.”

“Sometimes even too smart for himself,” teases Renjun.

The underlining snideness to the comment doesn’t get past Donghyuck, yet all he can do is roll his eyes. “Ha ha, very funny. Can we just watch the movie?”

Whether or not it’s because they genuinely don’t want to push him or if they just don’t have it in them to care too much about it, they all return to watching the movie. Donghyuck heaves a sigh and leans back against the couch. He lets his head lull to the side until it lands on Mark’s shoulder.

Since everything has happened, Donghyuck’s been trying to keep the touches minimal. It had been the one thing that Mark had commented on before, at the treehouse; how those single moments of physical affection had felt like he was being strung along. Donghyuck doesn’t want to do that to him, so he’s mostly kept to himself. When he can, that is. He knows he’s slipped up. He’s held Mark’s hand, crawled into his lap, hugged him, danced with him. But those feel like once in a hundred moments now compared to the moments that used to be daily, every other minute.

Right now, he’s a little too tired to care all that much about it and Mark is comfortable, and here. Donghyuck shifts until he’s in the best position and simply stays there without another word. He can feel Mark’s chin bush the top of his head as he glances down, but Mark keeps quiet, as well, and turns back to the television.

For once, they all let him get away with it and Donghyuck can’t be anything but grateful.

*

“So, you’ll cozy up to him, but you won’t admit to any feelings?” Jaemin hisses as he takes the garbage Donghyuck’s collected from the other room and shoves it into the trash bin. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me. And I wasn’t cozying up—”

Renjun scoffs. “I believe resting your head on someone’s shoulder and moving in close is considered ‘cozying up’. Do you just do it without thinking now?”

It’s kind of ridiculous because it seems a bit unfair. People are touchy nowadays. People are affectionate in everyday life, even in the most platonic of relationships. Why is what Donghyuck’s doing any different, especially since he’s been so good lately? He’s backed off a lot more than he did before, so why do they think they can still play the same argument?

In a way, he knows why they won’t let it go. To be fair, he didn’t let Jaemin live his crush on Jeno down when he found out. But this is different. Donghyuck never said he liked Mark to them, never made any clear indication. Not like Jaemin did with Jeno. All they’re going off of is what they see and what they want to read between the lines. And while Donghyuck knows he’s stubborn, so are Jaemin and Renjun. They’re even more stubborn when they feel like they’re on a trail of something good.

Donghyuck’s not getting out of this any time soon. Not until someone gets tired—which could be forever—or he and Mark get a partner that isn’t each other. Even then, Donghyuck’s not sure they’d let it go. They’re so fucking stubborn.

Rolling his eyes, Donghyuck reaches for his pop can. It’s nearly empty and that’s kind of disappointing. He doesn’t have time to start another one. He’s going to have to leave soon.

“You really want to keep this going?” Jaemin asks, voice light and eyebrows drawing together.

“I’m not keeping anything going. You guys are,” he replies. He finishes off his drink and toss the can into the bin. It makes it. Barely. Okay, so he won’t be a basketball star like Mark any time soon. “I don’t know why you’re wasting your time.”

“Could ask you the same thing,” Renjun mutters as he skirts past Donghyuck and heads back out into the living room.

Donghyuck exhales deeply through his nose, biting on his tongue to keep him from starting some kind of fight. His body is already heating up, his nerves already feeling frayed and tired. At least his frustration is nothing he can’t handle.

“Hyuck,” Jaemin whispers, moving to stand beside Donghyuck on his way out. He reaches up to cup the side of Donghyuck’s face. “You might be doing this with good reasons—whatever those reasons are—but don’t make yourself unhappy. None of us want that.” He starts towards the door before pausing and turning back with a slight frown. “Did you take your pill?”

“Yeah, about an hour ago. It’ll kick in.”

Jaemin nods, frown still marring his face, as if he doesn’t believe a word. “Okay.”

It’s not a lie. He did take it. Unfortunately, his body doesn’t seem to be taking the pills as well as it used to. His fire just burns it up before it even has a chance—higher dosage or not. He knows he should say something, do something. The doctor had told him to come back if there were any issues, but he knows there’s nothing they can do. Suppressants aren’t meant to be taken for years on end, especially not at the dosage he’s taking them. There’s no way to fix this.

A knock on the wall catches his attention. Mark tilts his head at him. “I was going to head out. Do you want a ride home?”

“Sure.”

Being in Mark’s car feels odd after what happened a couple months ago. Each time he sits in the passenger seat, he has to keep all the images he gets of himself sitting in Mark’s lap, with their arms around each other, at bay. They aren’t bad images. Not bad at all. But he also shouldn’t be having them. Fucking hell, why does he keep doing this to himself?

It would be nice if he could dig himself out of all the problems he seems to like burying himself under. Jaemin said to protect himself, but he is. Along with everyone else. It just so happens protecting himself means making things difficult for himself. At least for now. At least until he can figure out how to make himself happy again without fucking things up in the future. It’s not easy.

“You can just drop me off at the park,” Donghyuck says as he notices which street they’re on.

“Are they home?”

Donghyuck nods. “Yeah, and probably won’t be in bed for a while. I’d rather just wait until they’re asleep before going in.” The car takes another turn, away from the park. “Um, where are you going?”

“You can stay at my place,” Mark says. “What? What’s wrong? Is that…not okay?”

“No!” he blurts before he can catch himself. He clears his throat and, calmly, adds, “I mean, yes. I mean, no, no, that’s fine. We just haven’t done that in a while. Wasn’t sure if that was still on the table.”

“Why wouldn’t it be? You’re always welcome at my place. You know that.”

Right. Before, Donghyuck would have leapt at the idea to stay at Mark’s. Now, it feels like he’s walking on eggshells because, as much as Mark’s parents love him like another son, Mark loves him for a whole other reason. And Donghyuck’s trying so hard to keep boundaries. Boundaries Mark’s put in place. Staying at his place, being in his room again. Those things aren’t keeping boundaries. It’s jumping them.

And now that he’s standing in the doorway of Mark’s room, staring at the single bed they’ve both slept in together, he’s pretty sure he’s not just jumping anymore. He’s shattering them.

“You going to just stand there?” Mark asks, a teasing smile on his face as he shrugs off his jacket and tosses it over the back of his desk chair. “Don’t know why you look so uneasy. This isn’t the first time you’ve been in here.”

“First time since…” His voice trails off as he meets Mark’s gaze. “Well, you know.”

“I do know, yeah.” Scratching at the back of his neck, Mark gestures to the bed. “We don’t have to share if it makes you uncomfortable. I’d, uh, understand that. I can take the floor and—”

“Are you going to try something?”

Mark halts. “What?”

“If we share,” he elaborates, “are you going to try something?”

“No, of course—I wouldn’t—No!” It’s kind of endearing how fast the red floods up from under Mark’s collar and straight to his ears. “Please, tell me you don’t think I would.”

“Of course not,” Donghyuck says as he moves towards the bed and collapses on the surface. It’s super soft, allowing him to sink into it comfortably. “I just wanted to see your face.”

Mark seizes up one of the pillows and smacks him with it. “You’re an asshole!”

“Language,” he sings. Mark hits him again and he can’t hold in his laughter. “Look—Look—Stop it! I know you won’t try anything. You aren’t like that. But are you comfortable with this whole thing? With sharing a bed?”

Lowering the pillow, Mark’s smile slips from his face. He swallows, audibly, and steps back as Donghyuck sits up to face him. “I’m not, no. Well, not any more than I should be? I don’t know, Hyuck, it’s kind of confusing.”

“Make it not confusing?” Donghyuck offers.

“Easier said than done. But, uh, the fact of the matter is, it’s becoming easier. Slowly.”

Donghyuck knits his eyebrows together. “What do you mean ‘becoming easier’?”

“Exactly that. It’s just becoming easier.”

“Meaning you aren’t in love with me anymore?” he asks, slowly, heart twisting in his chest.

Mark sits on the edge of the bed, placing the pillow down beside him, and says, “I’ll always love you, Hyuck. That’s never going to change. It’ll just turn into the love I have for everyone else. For Jaemin, Renjun, Jeno, Chenle, and Jisung. It’s not a simple process and it’s going to take time, but I can learn to deal with this until I officially move on.” The corner of his lips turn up, but it never becomes a full smile. “It’s probably weird hearing me say all this, huh?”

Leveling his gaze out the window, he mutters, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. None of this is your fault. It’s my emotions that caused it.” Mark stands up and heads over to the dresser where he starts digging out some pajamas for them both to wear. “Don’t worry. I won’t be hung up on you for long, so you can stop looking like you’re in the world’s biggest disaster, yeah? I’m going to use the bathroom first.”

As he slips from the room, Donghyuck physically deflates, drooping back onto the bed with a huff. Everything Mark said should make him feel relieved because this is exactly what he wanted. This is what he needed.

So, why did it feel like—in Mark’s terms—the world’s biggest disaster?

It sure feels that way while he’s crawling into bed next to Mark, their legs and arms brushing as they find a content position to sleep in. It ends up with them both on their sides, facing one another. The gap between them is barely four inches. A little too close, he thinks. But there’s nowhere else to go unless he wants to put himself or Mark on the floor, and that won’t be happening any time soon.

“Tell me something,” Mark whispers, eyes drooping.

Donghyuck shifts, their knees bumping. “Like what?”

Shadows cast over Mark’s face and it somehow makes it seem softer. All the angles that make up his face in the day blend out until he appears like he did as a child, young and innocent. He remembers that face, albeit a bit bloody at the time. It had been the kind of face that made Donghyuck trust him more than he trusted anyone else. So open and honest and kind.

“Anything,” murmurs Mark. He’s drifting, so smoothly, so fast. It’s only a second later he’s completely fallen under, his eyes now fully closed for the night.

Reaching out, he brushes a lock of hair from Mark’s face. He lets his fingers stray down his cheekbone to his jaw, the skin soft beneath his fingertips.

“I want you to continue to love me.”

*

Something hits him awake—a hand to stomach. Then the whole bed shakes and he’s up, wide awake, startled so much that his heart jumps to his throat. Mark thrashes beside him. Left, right, and then he launches up, like someone is throwing him forward, and he crashes back down. Donghyuck grips his arm to shake him awake, but Mark is caught in a dream and he keeps repeating the motions. He has to lean out of the way as Mark shoots up, eyes flashing open for just a second, before falling back down onto the bed.

“Mark? Mark! Wake up,” he says, voice edging on panic. “Mark, get up!”

Left, right, up, down. When he lands, Donghyuck spots his forehead. There’s a gash on his head that’s scrapped down to the bone and blood is rolling down his face. It’s horrifying and sickening and Donghyuck has to swallow the bile down as he shakes Mark harder, desperately.

“Mark!”

“Gotta…got…up,” Mark mutters, head turning from the left to the right. Blood spatters across the pillow, smudging into the sheets. “You…up…”

“Mark!”

“WAKE UP!” Mark shouts, eyes blowing open and his body shooting forward. His chest rises and falls as he gasps for air. Beads of blood slide down the side of his face, staining the collar of his t-shirt. In a flash, he’s rolling off the bed, his knees hitting the floor a little too hard and his hands grasping at the nightstand. It hammers against the wall as he knocks everything off in order to snatch up his phone.

“Mark? Mark, what is it?” Donghyuck moves to the other side of the bed to grab Mark’s arm and try to gain his attention. “Mark, stop. Stop and tell me what’s wrong?”

His heart is beating so fast that it hurts. The ache is nothing compared to his worry, though. Mark’s bleeding badly and he looks worse than he probably feels. Although, he appears to be in shock. The pain will come. Donghyuck knows it will. But right this moment, Mark doesn’t seem to care because his wide eyes are set on his phone as his trembling fingers dial a number.

Donghyuck slips off the bed and crouches in front of Mark, taking his face in his hands so he can try and see the damage in the moonlight that sneaks through the crack of the curtains. Even in this poor lighting it looks awful. He swallows, trying not to look away and possibly throw up. Mark keeps trying to pull away, clearly not understanding just what’s wrong with him.

“Taeyong—” There’s a voice that interrupts him on the other end. “He—I know—Yeah, we will. See you soon.” He hangs up, starting to rise to his feet, but Donghyuck takes his shoulders and shoves him down. “Hyuck, we need to go to the hospital. There’s been an accident and we—”

“We do need to go to the hospital, but you need to let me take care of you first before you track blood through your house,” he says, somehow managing to keep his voice from shaking. “Mark, you’re bleeding.”

Mark frowns and glances down at himself. Seeing the blood, he lifts his hand to his face. Donghyuck catches his wrist before he can touch the gash in his forehead. “I didn’t—Ow.”

“Yeah, ow,” Donghyuck mutters. “Hold on. Don’t move.”

“Not planning to,” grumbles Mark as he leans against the bed. He’s already fucked up the sheets, so at this point it doesn’t matter if it gets a bit worse.

Slipping out of the bedroom, he goes to the bathroom, grabs the first aid kit and a wet towel, and then heads back. Mark’s moved to the side of the room where a mirror hangs on the back of his closet door. He’s turned the lights on and is now tilting his head this way and that to assess the damage.

“I thought I told you not to move,” Donghyuck says as he goes to sit next to Mark and begin cleaning off the blood. “Hold still, will you?”

“It hurts and we need to hurry.”

“What happened?”

Mark closes his eyes as the towel gets closer to the gash in his head. It doesn’t matter if Donghyuck knows it’ll be healed within the day, if it’s already starting to feel better, it still makes his skin crawl and his nerves spike and he’s worried. He’s fucking worried because seeing Mark like this isn’t fun. It’s horrible. The worst part is, he can’t do anything about. When Mark’s in a dream, Donghyuck can’t help him, can’t save him. Mark’s on his own from the moment he’s asleep to the moment the Dreamer decides to wake up. Anything can happen in that time and Donghyuck has no choice but to let it happen.

“It’s not like anything I’ve ever experienced before,” Mark whispers. “It was like he was replaying the same thing over and over again. We just kept crashing.”

“Who?”

“Taeyong said it was Hendery. Never met him, but Taeyong knows of him. Mentioned him once at the engagement party. We’re supposed to meet him at the hospital. Am I set?”

Donghyuck finishes cleaning off the blood, but before he can put the bandage on, he says, “Change your shirt and I’ll wrap it up. Then we can go. I’m driving, though.”

“I can drive—”

“I can see your skull, Mark! So help me god, you aren’t getting behind that wheel, you hear me?” He doesn’t mean to raise his voice, he doesn’t mean to let it tremble, but it does. “Just change.”

Donghyuck ends up changing as well. He wraps up Mark’s head and the two of them make their way to the car. They don’t bother waking up Mark’s parents to let them know. They have work in the morning.

Driving isn’t Donghyuck’s forte. He has a license, but he only got there by the skin of his teeth. Jungwoo doesn’t like him driving and Donghyuck isn’t a fan of it, so he doesn’t get much practice. Still, he’s not going to let Mark drive with the way he is. No way. Even if Mark keeps complaining, keeps backseat driving, and keeps jumping every time a car comes near them.

“Can you stop? You’re starting to freak me out,” says Donghyuck. The hospital is close. Just up ahead.

“Sorry,” Mark sighs. “Just keep getting flashbacks from the dream. Red light.”

“Yes, Mark, I see it. Thank you.”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“Help by taking a deep breath and keeping your mouth shut.”

When they arrive, Mark is quick to hurry inside, despite all the shouts from Donghyuck to slow down before he hurts himself even more. They’re met with the image of Lucas shouting at the front desk, face red, and eyes watery. Jungwoo stands beside him, talking to him, trying to sooth him. He barely notices Mark and Donghyuck as he barrels through the doors and down the hall. Mark motions towards Lucas’ and Jungwoo’s retreating figures, letting the receptionist know they’re with them.

There are nurses in the hall, trying to stop and calm Lucas down, but it doesn’t work. Not until Taeyong appears. He rests a hand on Lucas’ shoulder and whispers up to him. Lucas’ tall frame nearly collapses and Taeyong and Jungwoo catch him and move him to a chair. Donghyuck’s never seen Lucas so small, so fragile. He curls up, head on Jungwoo’s shoulder, and cries.

Donghyuck glances around the hall, noting all the people. A few of them he doesn’t know, but some are familiar faces. Yuta and Sicheng are in another set of chairs with a boy around Donghyuck’s age, who’s sunk down into his chair, face streaming with silent tears. Beside him sits another boy, handsome to the point of impossible, and Donghyuck kind of recognizes him, though he’s not sure from where. Johnny is on his other side, talking in a low tone. He catches Donghyuck’s eye and casts him a sad smile.

It isn’t until Donghyuck is seated next to Mark that he notices Ten. It’s like all the color has drained from his face. Ashen and sickly, Ten takes Yuta’s hand and whispers something. Yuta frowns and shakes his head, replying just as quietly. Donghyuck doesn’t know what they’re saying. He just knows this is something terrifying for Ten. Ten, who’s always seemed to have a backbone of steel. Ten with his silver tongue and quick wit and no-bullshit attitude. This Ten looks broken and Donghyuck wonders who this Hendery is to him.

A friend. A lover. It feels like a lover to Donghyuck, judging by Ten’s body language and his expressions. It feels like this person is someone Ten cares about an awful lot. It stings. He wants to say or do something to help, but he can’t. They just have to wait and see. And hope.

And if there’s one thing Donghyuck hates, it’s waiting for hope to come knocking.

A gasp gets his attention. Ten’s frozen in his seat, dark eyes set ahead of him as if he can see something they can’t. Sicheng leaps from his seat to kneel at Ten’s side, asking, “What is it? Ten, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“H-Hendery.”

The brokenness of Ten’s voice cuts deep. He looks like he’s going to be sick or pass out. Everyone’s stopped. They watch him, the event sinking into their bones because they know. They know that if Ten is seeing Hendery and they aren’t, he’s dead. Hendery is a ghost.

“No. No, you’re not dead.” He takes in a shuttering breath. “You’re not allowed to die. You can’t leave yet. I—I can’t let you leave.”

Ten’s hand is shaking when he reaches forward, his fingers brushing nothing but air and Donghyuck really wishes he could see what Ten’s seeing. If only to understand more. But, then again, he might not need to. Ten’s losing someone he loves, someone who means something to him, and Donghyuck knows what that feels like. Understands that maybe more than anyone in the room right now.

He remembers being taken to the hospital. He remembers screaming for his mom, for his dad, only to be told that they weren’t coming back. That they had died in that fire. It’s numbing and painful, all at the same time. It digs under the skin, rattles your bones, and it hurts. Fucking hell, does it hurt. Until there’s nothing there to hurt anymore. Until there’s nothing there but shock and guilt.

Donghyuck sees it on Ten’s face as he begs to a person no one else can see. He feels it as Ten launches from his chair screaming and crying and breaking down into nothing but pain and anguish. Donghyuck knows this. Knows this too well.

When he stands, Mark catches his wrist. “Where are you going?”

His eyes fall on the bandage around Mark’s head. The blood is still seeping through. It makes his breath hitch. He gasps out, “Bathroom,” and hurries down the hallway. He needs to go. He needs to be anywhere but here.

The adjacent hallway is fairly abandoned and he finds himself reaching out for the bar that runs along the wall, desperate to stay upright. Except, as the tears start falling, so do his legs. They give out completely and he crumps against the wall, burying his face into his knees.

Losing someone isn’t easy.

The fear of losing someone is even worse.

He quakes. The nerves from the last hour and a half hit him at full throttle. It feels like he’s been run over by a bus. Wiping at his eyes, he struggles to breathe, struggles to come up for air, because he feels like he’s drowning.

Ten’s sitting in the hallway over, falling apart because he’s lost someone he loves, and Donghyuck’s falling apart because he’s terrified of that happening to him. For being the cause of it. Again. He’s already murdered his parents—on purpose or by accident, it doesn’t matter—but he can’t let that happen to anyone else.

Anyone like Mark.

He can’t do this again. He can’t watch someone slip through his fingertips, like Hendery through Ten’s or his parents through his. He can’t watch himself hurt Mark over and over again until there’s no Mark left to hurt because, if he keeps going like this, that’s exactly what will happen.

His power is uncontrollable. He’s already destroyed homes and people, already injured Mark too many times and dragged him into his firestorm. This isn’t how it should be. One day, it’ll crumble and Donghyuck will start a fire he can’t stop and then Mark—

Hands fall on his shoulders and he shoves the nurse away, angrily. Sobs rip from his throat as he shouts, “I’m fine! Just leave me alone!” His voice hurts and cracks and Donghyuck just wants to stop thinking. He wants everything to stop. He wants his fire to stop rising to the surface, curling behind his eyes until they’re gold and dangerous. It licks at his fingers, so he curls them into fists and grits his teeth and forces himself to push it down. Push it all down.

“Donghyuck? Please, I’ve got this. Donghyuck? Look at me.”

He looks up through wet lashes to find Taeyong lowing himself next to him. Then, he’s hugging him, pressing Donghyuck’s face into the crook of his neck. The gesture is all it takes for him to crash down again. The tears won’t stop. His throat is sore and dry as he gasps through his fit. Taeyong’s hands are gentle, rubbing up and down his back, shushing him like a child.

“I can’t—I can’t—I just—”

“It’s okay,” Taeyong whispers. “It’s okay. I know.”

Donghyuck grips at Taeyong’s shirt. “I can’t lose him. I can’t do this.”

“I know. Just breathe, Hyuck. Breathe.”

But breathing is so hard when his feelings want him to drown. It’s a wave he can’t stop. He knows he’s burning up, that he’s going to have to take another pill soon just to ease what little he can.

Mark’s out there, waiting. He’s already injured from his own dream jumping ability; something Donghyuck can’t stop from happening. But he _can_ stop Mark from getting hurt from his fire. Except, doing that requires Donghyuck to tear himself away. To toss out his own heart.

“Breathe, Hyuck,” Taeyong says into his ear. “It’s okay.”

It’s not. It won’t be okay until he gives up Mark.

He can’t, though. Because he loves him.

And this, he thinks, is why he can’t have him.

Taeyong’s hands stutter and Donghyuck tenses because, _shit_ , no. He tries to pull away, but Taeyong holds strong, arms tightening. He repeats “It’s okay” into Donghyuck’s ear and Donghyuck shakes. No. It’s not. It’s not okay.

“Donghyuck—”

“You can’t tell him,” he begs. “You can’t tell him anything.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, but you should—”

“I can’t. You know why I can’t.” When he leans back, Taeyong lets him this time. “I love him, but I’ll hurt him, and then I’ll never forgive myself. I can’t let that happen. I _won’t_ let that happen.” He wipes at his eyes. He feels wet and gross and broken. So broken. “Mark can’t ever know.”

Taeyong stares at him, studies him. His dark eyes lock onto Donghyuck’s and it’s like his whole mind is unraveled before him. Sighing, Taeyong deflates. He won’t win this battle.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Donghyuck.”

Yeah, so does he.

*

They move into their new apartment right at the beginning of January in the middle of a snow storm. Korea doesn’t get a lot of snow, so it sort of comes out of nowhere, but they have to move in. They don’t get much choice.

Jungwoo packs all his things up into the jeep along with the three boxes of Donghyuck’s stuff. Lucas comes by with his truck to take whatever else doesn’t fit. Donghyuck’s uncle looks through the window of the living room, brooding and angry, while his wife stands on the porch, wrapped in her scarf and jacket, desperately shouting at Jungwoo to stay.

Over the last several months, ever since Jungwoo’s parents found out about the new apartment, they’ve been fighting and begging and Donghyuck has no doubt that his aunt has tried everything to get Jungwoo to stay. Threats and broken promises. That’s how Liu Wen works. Unfortunately, for her, Jungwoo isn’t about to change his mind. He’s been set on moving out even before Donghyuck’s accident when he was fourteen, when he burned his parents’ house down for the second time and Liu Wen had tired to send Donghyuck away.

She lost Jungwoo long before she realized, and Donghyuck’s not sure if he should feel bad about it or not. It’s basically his fault that Jungwoo picked him over his own parents. It’s his fault he’s here to begin with. But he doesn’t like his aunt and uncle, so how bad is he supposed to feel?

They drive through snow-covered and blizzard-hazed roads with the heat on blast. The apartment building comes into view and he can already see Mark’s car in its new parking space. He and the others had moved in the day before. They’re all standing there on the fifth floor when Donghyuck, Jungwoo, and Lucas come out of the elevator. With the seven of them, the move in is quick.

“Three boxes?” Mark asks as he steps into Donghyuck’s new bedroom. It’s larger than his other one and the furniture is nicer. Jungwoo had managed to squeeze a bit of money from his parents to get them. “Seriously?”

“The sheets are in a different box,” he replies.

Mark steps in and tentatively sits on the bed. He’s taken off his jacket, but his scarf hangs loosely around his neck. The tip of his nose and the apples of his cheeks are red from the cold. It’s kind of cute. Donghyuck can’t even lie about that.

It’s been months since he broke down in the middle of the hospital corridor and had the words he had locked down deep inside him for years, finally, slip out before he could stop them. One bad night and he’s spewing it out to Taeyong of all people. He supposes it could be worse. It could have been Jaemin or Renjun and they never would have let it go. At least Taeyong’s good at keeping secrets and wouldn’t bug him about it.

But even if he said it, even if he meant it, he can’t do anything about it. Mark can sit there looking all winter-kissed and gorgeous enough to make the butterflies in his stomach dance, but Donghyuck’s keeping his tongue glued to the roof of his mouth.

“How was orientation?” he asks, putting his books down on the desk.

“Not really orientation. More like a tour,” Mark corrects. “You should have been there, though. Met some interesting people.”

“Interesting?”

Flipping his phone in his hand, Mark nods. “Um, yeah, interesting. Nice. I don’t know. I can’t believe you ditched us.”

Donghyuck wrinkles his nose. He didn’t ditch. Not completely. The orientation—or ‘tour’, as Mark liked to call it—had been set five days ago, on the third of January. It was also around that time that Jungwoo and Donghyuck actually started packing to leave. They had left it to the last moment in order to cause less of an uproar with his parents. So, Donghyuck had backed out. The actual orientation isn’t until the first week of March, right before school starts up, so he didn’t think going for the tour was worth it.

Jaemin and Jeno had also backed out. Although, he was pretty sure that was because they slept in and then got severely preoccupied with each other. A little too much information for him. He doesn’t like watching his friends make out and he surely doesn’t want to know what they do behind closed doors.

“I’ll be at the real orientation,” he says as he takes a spot next to Mark. “Promise. Now, let’s go see the terror trio.”

Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun are in the living room, digging through boxes. Jeno’s the only one that looks up and smiles, all bright and happy. Jaemin’s deep into one of Lucas’ boxes while Renjun is actually trying to set up the living room. He’s got the throw blankets and pillows and even some of the pictures. Mark takes a seat on the couch, putting his phone on the coffee table. He leans over to see what Jeno’s working on.

“Aw, look at wittle Donghyuckie and his missing front teeth,” teases Renjun as he holds up a picture of Donghyuck when he was about five and Jungwoo at one of the barbeques they used to throw all the time.

Donghyuck snatches it out of his hand. “Can you not?”

“You were kind of adorable,” Mark mutters as he looks over Donghyuck’s shoulder at the picture.

There’s no way to hide his red cheeks, so he simply snaps, “Kind of? I was fucking adorable, okay?”

“He was,” says Jungwoo as he comes out of the other bedroom, Lucas trailing behind him. “Always so happy, followed me around like a puppy. Super cute. God, what happened?”

“Excuse you!” He shoots Mark a look when he snorts into his hand. “I’ll have you know that I’m still super adorable and you all just piss me off too much to see it.”

“Oh, yeah, super cute,” Renjun taunts.

Donghyuck throws a pillow at him. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Language,” Jaemin chastises. “Honestly, I’m going to have to wash your mouth out with soap.”

“I think you’re about ten years too late for that. It’s already engrained in him. Besides, look at who taught him,” Lucas says, jerking his thumb in Jungwoo’s direction. “Cute faces, filthy mouths.”

“You didn’t seem to mind my filthy mouth last night.”

Donghyuck plugs his ears. “Oh, my fucking god! I didn’t need to hear that! La la la la laaaaa!”

Jungwoo shakes his head at him and gestures for him to unplug his ears. “Don’t be such a prude.”

“I’m not being a prude. I just don’t want to hear about my cousin doing the freaky-deaky with one of my friends.”

“The freaky-deaky? Can you even say the word sex?”

Donghyuck narrows his eyes. “Sex. Sex, sex, sex, and, oh, look: sex!”

“So proud of you,” Jungwoo sighs. “We’re going to stop at Taeyong’s. He has food for us. I’ll be back in a bit with it. Be good.”

“At this point, I think I’m the best one of them all next to you and your filthy mouth,” Donghyuck says and Jungwoo just winks. “God, you disgust me.”

“And I love you. Be back soon.”

Sighing, Donghyuck perches himself on the arm of the couch. He glances at Mark to find him rubbing at the nape of his neck, ears and cheeks red. He tilts his head to get a better look. “Why are you so red? Are you still cold?”

“I’m fine,” Mark says, hurriedly. He coughs. “Fine. I’m fine. I need to use the bathroom.”

Jaemin raises his eyebrows at Donghyuck, who shrugs. Mark brushes past him and disappears down the hall.

“Are you planning on dying your hair for the wedding?” asks Jaemin.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” he says, stretching out across the couch. “Why?”

Jeno furrows his brows, his eyes flittering over Donghyuck’s brown locks. “Because it’s been that color for, like, a year? You used to dye it every three months. What happened?”

“Nothing. Just got tedious. Didn’t want to put in the effort.” He runs his fingers through his hair and mumbles, “Doesn’t fucking matter.”

Truth is, he just didn’t see a point to it after his fight with Mark back at the SM Entertainment building, last March. At first, he did it because he just liked doing it. He liked the bright colors and the constant changes. Then, he started doing it because Mark’s face every time was priceless. He’d halt in his steps and stare and it made Donghyuck feel good, to be noticed by Mark, to stun him into silence. Having Mark decide he needed to move on from Donghyuck sort of took the fun out of that. No point trying to impress him when he shouldn’t be impressing him in the long run.

“You guys don’t need to worry about all this,” he says before anyone else can comment on his hair. “We’ll get to it later.”

“You sure? We don’t mind helping,” Jaemin says.

“Yeah, just leave it. Jungwoo will want to sort it out, anyway.”

Shrugging, Renjun pushes the box he was working on out of the way and claims the opposite couch. Jeno crawls over to sit next to Jaemin. He whispers something into his ear and Jaemin laughs before shoving at his shoulder.

On the table, Mark’s phone buzzes. Donghyuck ignores it at first, but when it buzzes again and then again, he rolls over to reach out for it. He frowns. Messages pop up, one by one, on his lock screen. Donghyuck could open it. He knows the code. But he doesn’t need to because the messages are short and visible just as they are.

**Mina:**

**6pm Saturday**

**It’s a date then**

**Don’t be late, Markie**

Donghyuck’s heart drops to his stomach and all he can think is: not again. He hears the bathroom door open and he scrambles off the couch, Mark’s phone in hand, and hurries down the hall. Mark is barely over the threshold before Donghyuck takes his arm and shoves him into his bedroom, closing the door behind them.

“What’s wrong?” Mark inquires. “You okay?”

“Who’s Mina?”

Mark tenses, dark eyes wide as he scans Donghyuck’s face before falling to his phone in Donghyuck’s hand. “Did you look at my phone?”

“It was going off and I just checked. I didn’t open it or anything if that’s what you mean,” he says as he holds out the phone for Mark to take. “Who’s Mina?”

“Just some girl I met on the tour. She was cool, so I got her number. We’ve been talking and hanging out.”

“Sounds more like going on dates,” says Donghyuck. His hands are shaking and he has to cross his arms to hide it. He doesn’t have a right to be upset about Mark going on dates because he decided, a long time ago, he couldn’t have Mark. And just because he can’t have Mark, doesn’t mean someone else can’t. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. “Is she your girlfriend?”

Mark sighs, running a hand down his face. “No, we aren’t official. I’m just—We’re just going on dates. I’m testing the waters.”

Donghyuck can’t be mad about Mark dating, but he can sure as hell be mad about not being told. “And you weren’t going to mention her to me at all?”

“Why would it matter? She’s not my girlfriend, yet. I didn’t want jump the gun. Besides, I figured it would be, you know, awkward.”

“Awkward?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t know. I was going to tell you. Eventually.”

“When you were proposing?”

A laugh rips from Mark’s throat. “Oh, please, Donghyuck. We are far from marriage. I’m just trying to expand my horizons a bit.”

“Expand your horizons,” he repeats, eyebrows high.

“Yeah, to finally get over all this.”

“Over what?”

“You.” Donghyuck flinches at the firmness of Mark’s tone. “To get over you, okay?” Mark ruffles his hair, letting out a sigh of exasperation. He takes a step back, closing his eyes to gather himself, before opening them again and saying, “I need to get over this so that we can finally move on from this stupid awkward tension that’s between us.”

“There’s no—”

“Bullshit,” Mark snaps. “That’s bullshit and you know it. Look, I take full responsibility for it. I messed up. I get it. But I can’t let it stay like this. In order for me to move on, I need to try. Mina is nice. I like her, so I’ve been going on dates with her. I don’t get why you’re so upset about that.”

Donghyuck looks away, jaw set. Every word is like a hit to his heart. “You didn’t tell me. You said no more secrets and you’ve been talking to a girl, _seeing_ a girl, behind my back.”

“Fine, you know what? I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I just wanted to feel things out first, see where they went. Can we just let it go now?”

Even though he doesn’t want to let it go, he has to. For Mark’s sake, he needs to let Mark have this. No matter how much it hurts. When he goes to nod, a knock comes at his door. Jeno sticks his head in to let them know Jungwoo and Lucas are back with food. If they heard Mark yelling from the living room, no one lets it known. And, for that, Donghyuck is glad.

For the rest of the night, he pretends he never saw Mina’s name, that he never heard Mark say he was seeing her, and definitely pretends he doesn’t see the way Mark texts her back under the table with a discreet smile. No, for tonight, he pretends Mina doesn’t exist.

But it’s a lot harder than he thinks.

*

Watching Taeyong and Jaehyun get married feels more like a dream than reality. Of course, that might just be because everything is so white and pristine and…white. It’s so white that it stings his eyes. Sure, there are accents of gold and blue, but the lights they’ve strung up in the wedding hall, along with the reception hall, make the white blinding.

He’s not even sure he saw the actual ceremony because all he can see is white. And maybe a bit of red that is Taeyong’s hair because, _wow_ , that’s also a little too bright. Jaehyun’s sure going to love that. And he has no doubt that they’ll both be blown away by the reception hall that Jaehyun’s parents spent so much money and time on. Even if it does seem a tad over the top for both of them.

It’s more like a ballroom than anything else with drapery and fairy lights and flowers. The food is extravagant and Donghyuck feels a little weird eating something so pretty and, surely, expensive. Of course, most of his friends have no problem since they dig into their dinner without much thought. He sits at a table with Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung. Jungwoo sits with Lucas at the front table with Taeyong and Jaehyun and all their other groomsman. One of them being Mark, who looks a little too good to be true. Donghyuck picks the seat that puts his back to Mark because that’s just easier.

He does take a chance to peek once to find Mark laughing at some joke Yuta made. He throws his head back and laughs so earnestly, so perfectly, and— _God damn it_ , he needs to get his priorities straight. He can’t keep doing this to himself. He made a promise, years ago, that he’d let Mark go and he’s still struggling?

“He looks good tonight, doesn’t he?” Jaemin whispers, leaning over so he can speak into Donghyuck’s ear.

Donghyuck decides the best course of action is to play stupid, so he asks, “Who?”

The look he gets is completely unimpressed. “Mark. He’s handsome.”

“Mark’s always handsome,” he says before he can stop himself. Jaemin raises a brow, lips twitching into a smirk. “What? I’m not blind. I can tell he’s handsome. Just like all you are.”

“Aw, you think we’re handsome?”

“When your mouth’s shut, yeah.”

Jaemin’s smile drops. “Could say the same for you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m handsome _and_ entertaining. What do you have going for you?”

“You’re being snippy and I am going to find out why.” Jaemin straightens and takes a bite out of his food with finality.

It doesn’t matter how determined Jaemin is about the whole thing. He’s not going to learn anything from Donghyuck, so he might as well just give up. Not like he’s going to, however. Jaemin’s got terrible tunnel-vision when he gets inspired or curious. Donghyuck just wishes it wasn’t aimed at him.

By the time the music is playing, Chenle’s away from the table and dancing to his heart’s content. There’s no way anyone is going to peel him off the dance floor. Unless Jisung can get up off his ass to go join his best friend, who very clearly wants to dance with him.

It’s kind of funny because Donghyuck sees a lot of Jeno and Jaemin in Chenle and Jisung. They’ve been friends since they were young, and their love has only grown into something romantic the last few years. Or, well, at least that’s what Donghyuck thinks. He catches the way Jisung looks at Chenle and vice versa. It’s definitely the way Jaemin and Jeno look at each other when they think the other isn’t looking. Truth be told, Donghyuck should have seen this coming. Regardless, he’s still a bit surprised. Even if neither of them have said a word about it, he knows what love looks like and they, quite obviously, feel for each other a little more than platonically.

Donghyuck would say ‘Poor Renjun’, only that he seems to be the only one with his shit together. No relationship drama. Donghyuck envies that a whole hell of a lot.

The lights above them start shifting colors. Donghyuck glances around the room, at all the people, until he settles on a group of men in the corner. Some of them are seated at the table, while a few of them hover. Donghyuck doesn’t know them all, but he certainly remembers four of those faces. One of them being a relatively pretty man with a silver suit and kohl-lined eyes, who keeps snapping his fingers. Each time, the lights shift to a different hue. The taller man beside him, with somewhat large ears and an easy smile, leans over to whisper in his ear, actively distracting the other from continuing.

Taeyong, with Mark at his side, is close by, chatting with people as they travel around the room. Mark glances at him and Donghyuck stares down at his plate. The closer they get to the table the more Donghyuck feels the need to level, if only to give himself more time to prepare himself.

“Where are you going?” Jaemin asks when Donghyuck stands up from his seat.

“Going to mingle,” is all he says before wandering off through the crowd.

It’s crazy how quickly people are willing to leave their tables so they can chat with all the people they couldn’t at dinner. Donghyuck keeps having to squeeze himself through clusters of Jaehyun’s relatives. He spots Taeyong and Mark talking with Jaehyun’s parents now. Mark looks so dutiful, standing there to support Taeyong on his day, and Donghyuck veers off in the other direction to avoid him.

In doing so, he rams right into someone. “Oh, shit, sorry,” he says.

“No harm done. Managed to keep the champagne off my suit and in the flute, so all clear.” The man he bumped into doesn’t seem all that old, though definitely someone Taeyong’s age or a bit older. His blond hair is styled back from his face and Donghyuck can see the tattoos that peek up past his collar and up his neck slightly. When he talks, Donghyuck can’t help but notice the tongue piercing. It’s kind of distracting. “Where were you off to in such a hurry?”

“Uh…” Donghyuck glances over his shoulder. Mark’s moved on to another group with Johnny. It’s like every time he looks, Mark is just that much closer, no matter where he goes. If he stays over here, they just might cross paths and Donghyuck isn’t prepared for that right now. “Nowhere,” he replies. “Just wandering.”

“Away from someone?”

Donghyuck’s eyes snap the man. He’s smiling. That knowing smile that Taeyong gets sometimes. Frowning, he asks, “And if I was?”

“You’re welcome to hang around here, but I should probably tell you that he’ll come find you sometime soon.”

“Fuck,” he mutters. Then, “Wait, what? Oh, god, you’re a telepath, too?”

The man laughs. “Among other things. Luhan.”

Donghyuck takes his hand to shake. “Donghyuck. You’re friends with Taeyong?”

“Yeah, we all are.”

Peeking around Luhan, he runs his eyes over the collection of men. They aren’t paying much attention to Donghyuck and Luhan at all, very happy to stick to their own group. All of them, except one.

Eyebrow raised, the man in the silver suit says, “I remember you. You broke into my club.”

“Oh, you mean the club where you got my friend—who was a minor, by the way—to underground fight?” he shoots back.

Luhan smiles into his champagne. “I like this one. He’s feisty.”

“He’s a pain in the ass,” Baekhyun retorts.

“Reminds me of you.”

“Oh, bite me, Luhan.”

“I’ll leave that to Chanyeol.”

“Leave me to what?” Chanyeol asks, twisting himself back to face Baekhyun. He had been distracted by a couple of the other men behind him that keep bouncing between laughing and bickering.

Rolling his eyes, Baekhyun snaps his fingers and the lights go red. As red as Taeyong’s hair. Donghyuck wonders if Jaehyun’s parents will hunt him down to complain about him ruining the aesthetic.

Chanyeol points at him, head tilted. “Aren’t you the little fire user?”

“Little?” Donghyuck squeaks and Luhan laughs. “Seriously? You’re making fun of my height when you’re a fucking tree?”

It’s Baekhyun’s turn to snort. “He’s not wrong.”

“So rude,” Chanyeol says. “And, I mean, you are smaller than me? You know what? Never mind. Point of the matter is, you’re the fire user, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Cool.” He beams and Donghyuck can see all his teeth. “Same. It’s rare to meet another pyro. Small world.”

Donghyuck nods, a little unsure of what to say. “Uh, yeah. It…is.”

“You might want to bolt,” Luhan whispers. “Your boy’s on the way.”

“What?” Sure enough, Mark is working his way over to the corner with Taeyong. Their eyes meet and Donghyuck does the first thing he thinks of. He turns and bows to Luhan and the others before speed-walking back toward his table because, _nope_ , not doing this right now.

He’s glad to see that Jisung, Jaemin, and Jeno are already there. A distraction would be lovely right about now. As he reaches the table, he shoves his hands into his pockets and asks, “Why are you all looking like a bunch of losers?”

“Does it make you a loser, now that you’ve joined us?” Jeno inquires as he pulls out the chair beside Jaemin to sit down. He wraps his arm around Jaemin’s shoulders in the most natural movement in the world.

Donghyuck lets out a mocking laugh. “Are you just going to hang out here for the rest of the night?”

“I just wanted to get a drink before I hit the floor again. I just have to convince Jeno to join me,” Jaemin says.

Jeno shakes his head with a fond smile. “You don’t have to convince me that much.”

Donghyuck raises a brow. “You make me want to vomit.”

“Oh, go find Mark and bug him,” says Jeno and Donghyuck flashes him the middle finger. He’s not going to tell him he just ran from Mark. “We can’t help it if you’re envious.”

“Envious over what? The disgustingly sweet gush that you guys keep tossing at each other? Ah, yes, I’m deeply hurt that I have no one to do that with,” Donghyuck replies, tone dripping with sarcasm. Okay, so he’s a little envious, but he doesn’t think he really has the right to be.

“The first step is admission,” Jaemin puts in with a raise of his glass. “Come on, Hyuck. Sit down for a bit. You’ve been wandering for a while now.”

He thinks about it for a second before dropping into the nearest chair. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Mark drifting to the next group where Renjun’s talking to Kun and a few others. His shoulders drop, a sigh pushing from his lungs, as he realizes he has a bit more time before he has to face Mark.

It’s been a couple of weeks since he discovered Mark’s been seeing Mina and Donghyuck’s tried his best to keep a distance because he knows that will help. Except, it hurts and it’s awkward and he isn’t sure what to do anymore. He feels like he hasn’t known what to do for a really long time.

His fingers burn and his stomach twists as his temperature flares. He tries to keep his hands steady as he grabs the glass he thinks was his before he left and fills it with water from the pitcher. All he wants is for this feeling to go away, once and for all. And he’d fucking love it if the fire inside him would calm down for one fucking minute.

It’s getting harder to pin down, harder to control. It keeps wanting to come out at the most inconvenient times. He knows he’s not making it better. His emotions are everywhere and all powers are connected to their user’s emotions. If he can’t get a handle on his feelings, he’ll never be able to tame his fire. At least the water is keeping him cooled down enough that he doesn’t set the tablecloth aflame.

Suddenly, Mark appears behind Jisung with Renjun, and takes a seat. There’s a chair between him and Donghyuck and he eyes it, wondering if Mark is doing it on purpose or not. Donghyuck can’t be upset, though. He had raced off before Mark could get to him and Mark saw him do it. Renjun ends up taking the empty chair.

“Are we all crashing for the night?” Renjun inquires.

“Just taking a break,” Jaemin says. “Have you danced yet?”

“Chenle dragged me out once until I could escape,” says Renjun. He looks to Jisung. “I’m surprised you’re not out there with him.”

“I think he’s making it a goal to dance with every person in the room tonight. I think I saw him with Jaehyun’s mom earlier,” he replies, tapping his fingers against his own glass. He looks a little dejected and his eyes keep going to Chenle, who’s dancing across the floor with various people. His laughter is loud and infectious. Donghyuck just hopes he keeps it down. He doesn’t want any windows breaking.

Jaemin leans over the table and asks, “Who are you texting, Mark? You’ve been glued to your phone practically since you got here. And we all know your friends are here.”

Donghyuck’s focus snaps to Mark, who glances up from his phone with wide, startled eyes. A sinking feeling settles in his gut and he knows just who Mark is talking to. Who he’s always talking to. Mina must be pretty special to get all this attention. Part of him wants to meet her just to see what she’s like, see what Mark sees in her. The other part of him wants to stay as far away as possible, if only so he can convince himself she’s a horrible person.

It might be rude. It might be uncalled for. It might even be wrong because Donghyuck doesn’t really have a right. But he thinks it anyway.

Clearing his throat and pocketing his phone, Mark says, “No one. Just a friend from orientation.”

He can’t help but frown. They’re at a wedding and he’s texting a girl, who could very well be his girlfriend. Well, she probably is. She just doesn’t have the title, apparently. Either way, this is an overly romantic day and Mark’s spending time talking to this girl. Locking his jaw, Donghyuck looks away. He bets Mark thought about bring her to this before deciding against it.

“Come dance with me,” Jaemin says as he stands up and holds out his hand for Jeno to take. With a wave, they wander off into the crowd.

The lights of the room have shifted to a pale blue as the music slows. Jeno hugs Jaemin close and Donghyuck sighs. Watching them causes too much of a conflict in his mind. He wants to be happy for them and, yet, he can’t stop thinking about the fact that he’ll be lonely forever. But it’s a choice. Maybe not a choice he wants to take. God, if he could have anything else, he would take it. He just can’t. This is the only safe direction.

“Mark, get off your phone,” Renjun chastises. Before Mark can do anything, he’s snatches it away and slides the device into the inner pocket of his blazer. “You’ll get it back at the end of the night.”

With that, he’s up and speed-walking away. Mark jumps up in his seat to chase after him. “I’ll be back. Hey—Hey, Renjun! Get back here!”

Donghyuck kind of hopes that Renjun will break Mark’s phone. He lets go of his glass, leans back in his chair, and sinks into it. He’d very much like to disappear, but he’s sure he can’t do that just yet. Another hour or so and then he can maybe make a break for it without anyone saying anything.

“Do you know who he’s talking to?” Jisung asks.

Donghyuck’s eyes snap up. For a split second, he’s shocked Jisung would ask outright. “Not really,” he replies, trying to seem indifferent, nonchalant. Even though his heart squeezes painfully. “Some girl. She’s in the same program as him, or something.” He traces lines into the condensation on his glass. When he realizes—much to his horror—he’s writing Mark’s name, he swipes it out. “I’m going to go find Jungwoo. You going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” Jisung replies. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” He stands, straightening out his trousers, which have bunched around his knees. He glances at Jisung. He sits among empty chairs, appearing a little out of place, a little dejected. He knows he should stay. Jisung doesn’t look like he wants to be here either and he wants to ease some of the sadness that’s settled into Jisung’s eyes. But he doesn’t know what to say, so he can only nod.

He finds Jungwoo wrapped in Lucas’ arms at the side of the dance floor. They’re all smiles and fond glances. Donghyuck’s steps stutter, not sure if he should interrupt or not, but then Jungwoo spots him and waves him over.

“Hey, kiddo, what’s up?”

“I think I’m going to go.”

“You feeling okay? Do you need another pill?” He reaches forward to put his hand on Donghyuck’s forehead and he ducks away. Pursing his lips, Jungwoo stares him down. “You sure?”

He nods. “Yeah, I’ll take the bus. I’ll see you at home, okay?”

“Sure, of course. Text me when you get home.”

Donghyuck sneaks out through the door. The corridor is practically empty, with a few stragglers coming back from the bathroom. He’s almost made it to the door when someone grabs his wrist. He spins around and nearly runs into Mark. Oh, his heart doesn’t like this at all.

“You leaving?” Mark asks, fingers slipping down from Donghyuck’s wrist to his hand and Donghyuck yanks himself away as subtly as he can. Unfortunately, Mark notices and he frowns.

“Yeah, I am. Tired. Want to go to bed.”

“But you haven’t been here that long. We haven’t really gotten a chance to hang out.”

Donghyuck misses the chance to bite his tongue and ends up saying, “And who’s fault is that? You spent the night wandering around, making friends, which is fine. Whatever. That’s your job tonight. To be there for Taeyong. I get it. But when you had time to sit down, you were texting. Mina? I’m just guessing, but let me know if I’m hot or cold.”

Mark reels back as if he’s just been slapped. “Wh—What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he mumbles, stepping back and crossing his arms because, right now, he feels like he needs that extra protection. “Just forget it.”

“No, you’re upset. Is this about Mina? Are you still upset that I didn’t tell you? Look, I’m sorry that I—”

“Stop apologizing,” he snaps. “Just stop. Forget about it, all right? I’m just going to go home.”

He goes to turn away, but Mark pulls him back. They stumble a bit and Mark manages to steady them, arms around Donghyuck’s waist and their bodies pressed together in something that would probably seem very intimate to anyone who walks past, so Donghyuck is quick to wiggle himself out and keep a distance.

He’s burning and he needs space.

“Will you just talk to me? We agreed to be honest, right? So, talk to me. Why are you so upset with me?”

“It’s not you,” Donghyuck states. “I just—Mark, I’m too tired for this. I can’t do this right now.”

“Do what?”

“Deal with you! I can’t deal with you right now, all right?” he shouts. Mark flinches. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Taking a step back, Mark says, “Well, I’m sorry for trying to sort things out before they get worse. Like they always seem to.”

Donghyuck presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and groans. “Fine, you know what? Just fine. I am upset. I’m pissed, actually, because the time where you’re supposed to be with your friends and family and you’re texting some girl you barely even know!”

“So, this is about Mina.”

“Of course, it’s about Mina, you idiot!” He needs to control his volume. He can’t have people hearing them and trying to butt in. But he’s so hot that he can’t think and he wants to just explode. There’s a whisper in his ear to just do it. Just burn. Except, he can’t. “You’re so preoccupied with your little girlfriend.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Mark laughs. It’s bitter and harsh and Donghyuck hates it. “Are you jealous of Mina?”

The words ram right into Donghyuck’s chest and he feels like he’s bleeding out onto the floor. Mark is glaring at him, dark eyes glinting with frustration. It’s enough to make Donghyuck wish he could take all his words back. He’s said too much. He was supposed to keep it together. One of them needed to keep it together. And he’s failed.

“Jealous,” he manages, tone low. He scoffs. “Jealous of what exactly?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Hyuck. You tell me.”

It’s a challenge and it’s hilarious. It’s hilarious because Donghyuck’s always loved a challenge. Always wanted to prove someone wrong, to show how stubborn and impressive he can be. He takes challenges because he knows he can win.

He can’t win this time. This isn’t a challenge he can take. Because if he takes it, then everything he’s placed in his perfect house of cards will come tumbling down and Mark will know.

Mark can’t ever know.

Instead, he shakes his head and moves backward toward the door. “I can’t do this. I just can’t.”

He races out the front door, Mark calling after him. He runs, even though no one is chasing him. He runs because he knows that when he stops, everything will come crashing down around him and he won’t be able to stop it.

*

Donghyuck feels horrible the next morning. He feels even worse when he ends up in Taeyong and Jaehyun’s new apartment, sitting at the dining table, trying desperately not to look at Mark, who’s on one of the couches. They haven’t said a word to each other, barely even spared a glance.

He keeps thinking back to what he said, the slip up he made, and he just prays to whatever god that’s out there that Mark doesn’t realize the implications of it all.

But, right now, he needs to dig himself out of his own memories because they’re here for a reason. Taeyong and Jaehyun can’t legally get married in Korea. It’s not available—utter ridiculousness—so they’ve all pitched in to get them tickets to Chicago, where they can happily sign those documents and finally be official. Donghyuck thinks they’re still fighting over who will take whose last name or even if they’re changing their names at all. Donghyuck thinks they’ll probably just stay Jaehyun Jung and Taeyong Lee.

When they get the envelope, both of them are stunned and it’s an expression Donghyuck has to smile at, even if he feels like shit. They’re getting a dream in the form of two tickets. Johnny is the first to tell Taeyong not to cry.

“You really didn’t need to,” Jaehyun says, taking the rest of the envelope to take out the papers for the hotel. “You really, _really_ shouldn’t have.”

“What are friends for?” Doyoung counters with a raise of his shoulders. “Besides, you two need the vacation. After all this planning? Get away from it all and from us.”

“Of course, you have to come back,” Mark puts in. Donghyuck stares at the surface of the table, his body tensing at the sound of his voice. “You can’t just go running away.”

The look in Taeyong’s eyes softens. “I’m not going to leave you, Mark. I couldn’t. I just…Thank you. Thank you so much. But,” he glances down at the ticket with a frown, “um, these dates.”

“What about them?” Jungwoo asks.

“I’m going to miss a lot of birthdays.” The group laughs. Taeyong, though, seems very serious. “No, really. Two weeks and I’ll miss Johnny’s, Junwoo’s, Jisung’s.” His dark eyes settle on Jisung, corners of his lips turned down. “It’s your sixteenth. That’s such a big day.”

Jisung waves a hand at him. “If I start crushing cars or floating, I’ll send you a video message. I doubt you’ll miss much, though.”

Donghyuck perks at this. He’s such a shitty friend. He completely forgot Jisung’s birthday is coming up in a couple weeks. Then again, he tends to forget everyone’s birthdays on most occasions. Not that that makes it any better.

Regardless, Taeyong is right. It’s an important date. Jisung, who was born in a family of Negates, has been hoping to get a power his whole life. His sixteenth year is when he’ll finally know if he’ll get one or not. They all know it’s a slim chance. The only person who ever had an ability in his family was his great grandfather or something, and no one even remembers what it was. Even still, Donghyuck hopes that Jisung will get something. If anyone deserves it, it’s him. It’s just hard to tell him everything will be fine when there is a significantly large chance that it won’t.

Donghyuck doesn’t realize people are starting to disperse until Renjun is at his side, poking him in the shoulder. “Hey, we’re leaving.”

He sees Mark at the door, Johnny at his side trying to tell a story about when he found Taeyong and Jaehyun making out in the foyer of their apartment. Mark is quick to snatch Jisung and Chenle and race out the door, ears red.

“One day that will be you, Mark!” Johnny calls to him, but the door slams shut.

Donghyuck follows Renjun, Jaemin, and Jeno out of the apartment. Mark, Jisung, and Chenle are still hanging out by the door.

Jaemin scowls. “Thanks for ditching us.”

“I waited, didn’t I?” Mark counters.

“Can we go before Johnny comes out and ruins even more of my innocence?” Renjun asks, causing Donghyuck to snort. If anyone lacks innocence in their group, it’s Renjun. Actual Satan.

“What innocence?”

Renjun hits him on the arm and Donghyuck whines because, _fuck_ , that actually hurt. He takes an instinctive step toward Mark before he can stop himself. But as his shoulder bumps Mark’s, he realize how close they are and he steps back, averting his gaze. Mark doesn’t seem to notice, however, because his nose is in his phone again.

“Hey,” Renjun snatches the phone, “we’re still here, idiot.”

“I know that.” Mark is quick to grab it back. “Come on, let’s go.”

One day, he hopes Renjun smashes it against a wall.

They make their way to the first floor, down the stairs just so that they can shout as loud as they want with the echoing walls. Jisung manages to cover Chenle’s mouth before he can yell and destroy all their eardrums.

“You’re no fun,” Chenle pouts when he finally gets Jisung’s hands off him.

“I’d like to keep my hearing, thank you.”

So would Donghyuck, so thank god for Jisung.

Donghyuck claims the couch as soon as they arrive. He stretches out across it. Though, only for a second, because Renjun shoves his legs out of the way to make room for himself. Donghyuck lets him in fear of getting punched again. He puts his feet up on the coffee table, next to a pile of Mark’s music textbooks.

“Seriously, who are you texting that’s just so flipping interesting?” Jaemin asks as he tries to peek over Mark’s shoulder.

Mark tries to twist away, but Jeno’s right there to take a look. “Who’s Mina?”

“No one,” Mark says a little too quickly.

“Wait, isn’t that the girl who asked for your number at orientation?” inquires Renjun. His eyes narrow. “You’ve been texting her since then?”

“She’s cool,” Mark says. His eyes flick about the room, stuttering on Donghyuck a little more than the rest, before he focuses back on his phone. “I don’t know. I like talking to her.”

Mina. Mina. Mina. Always _fucking Mina_.

“He’s dating her.”

It takes him a moment to realize the words came from his mouth. He tightens his lips before anything else can slip out, but the damage is already done. Everything feels tight and cold and Mark is still as he stares at Donghyuck from the other couch as if he can’t believe he was just outed like that. Donghyuck tries to play it off, smirking just slightly, but he knows it’s a failure. He knows he can’t play this off.

Jeno and Chenle gawk, Jaemin is at a complete loss of words as his gaze flicks back and forth between Donghyuck and Mark, and then there’s Renjun. He doesn’t seem all that surprised. Donghyuck kind of wondered earlier if Renjun had known the entire time. Still, he glares at Mark, just slightly. Only enough for Donghyuck to know that he isn’t happy with the news being proved.

“Wait, what? You have a girlfriend?” Jeno practically shouts.

“Again?” Jaemin adds, stunned.

Mark has to tear his gaze from Donghyuck. It doesn’t seem easy. As his head turns, his eyes stay. Finally, he manages to relocate his attention on Jaemin instead. “Again? Why do you have to make it sound like a bad thing that I’m repeating? We met a couple weeks ago and we’ve gone on a couple of dates. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Yet,” Renjun puts in, unhelpfully.

Chenle collapses next to the coffee table, dragging Jisung down next to him. “This is too much for me.”

“Wait,” Jaemin throws up his hands, “wait, wait. Donghyuck knew you were dating her?”

Donghyuck wishes he didn’t.

“Donghyuck knows because,” Mark waves a hand toward Donghyuck on the couch, searching for words, “he’s Donghyuck.”

Very nice, Mark. That explains absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. Either way, he knows they’re all going to assume that he was snooping around and discovered it. Even if it’s not exactly true, he’ll let them think it for now.

“And, anyway, you can’t expect me to be single my whole life,” Mark continues. “I mean, everyone else is slowly entering the dating world. The fact that I’m seeing Mina shouldn’t be all that shocking.”

“The difference is that when you date, you disappear,” Jaemin says. “And then we’re left squabbling around because you’re not there to hold us together. The last time you dated was an utter disaster for us all.”

Renjun wrinkles his nose. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Yeah, it was _that_ bad.”

It was definitely that bad. Donghyuck remembers how much of a shitstorm that was. Mark completely ditched them for his girlfriend. Didn’t even bother to tell them. They found out by visiting his house while he was making out with her. Donghyuck’s stomach tilts, remembering just how messed Mark’s hair was, how swollen his lips were.

Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that situation had pulled a little too tight on Donghyuck and Mark’s friendship tether and he had actually been worried it would snap. Until Mark showed up at Jeno’s to apologize.

It’s not a fond memory.

Sighing, Mark settles into the arm chair. “Look, it’s not like I’m asking her to marry me—”

Jaemin gives a scandalized gasp. “You better not be!”

“I’m not! I’m just going on a couple dates and she’s cool to hang out with. I really don’t see the issue.”

“I don’t understand why you’re so into dating right now,” says Jaemin. He’s shaking his head, like he still can’t believe what Mark’s told him. Like he’s trying to shake himself out of a dream. If anyone knows the true innerworkings of Mark and Donghyuck’s complicated relationship, it’s Jaemin. He’s probably got all kinds of things snapping about in his head right now. “We’ve barely even started university. This has come out of nowhere.”

“It really hasn’t,” Mark admits.

“What are you—”

Donghyuck’s foot slips off the coffee table. He knocks over the pile of Mark’s music texts and the remotes for the television. They hit the ground in a loud crash. He lets out a breathy chuckle when everyone turns on him and leans down to pick them up.

“Oops, my bad,” he says, a little too perkily. Once they’re back on the coffee table, he grins. “Let’s leave Mark alone, yeah? We have better things to talk about then Mark’s love life.”

From across the living room, Mark twirls his phone between his fingers, eyes narrowed at Donghyuck as if he’s trying to read his mind. Whether or not Mark knows about Donghyuck’s feelings, it’s too close for comfort and he has to look away. Mark now knows that Donghyuck doesn’t like the idea of Mina. He’s not sure what that will mean in the end, but, for right now, it’s just a tense subject. Something they both best avoid.

Settling back into his spot on the couch, legs thrown on Renjun’s lap, Donghyuck asks, “What are we doing for little Jisung’s birthday? We’ve got—what?—two weeks? Three?”

“About,” Jisung replies. “But you don’t have to do anything. I’m cool with just hanging out or something.”

Jeno purses his lips in thought. “We haven’t had a sleepover in a while—”

“No!” Mark and Donghyuck shout in unison, jumping almost out of their seats. They exchange wide-eyed glances before immediately looking away.

The last thing Donghyuck wants is to relive what happened at Chenle’s birthday party. Sure, they’ve slept in the same bed since and nothing happened, but he’s not about to test fate by doing another birthday-sleepover ritual. No. Just no.

Jaemin smirks at him and Donghyuck has half a mind to give him the finger.

“All right,” Jeno says, slowly. “No sleepover then.”

“We could just do something at my place?” Chenle offers. “Pool party? Pizza? I doubt my parents would care.”

Renjun sighs, smiling. “I haven’t been to your place in forever. You have heated floors.”

“I do.”

“What do you think Jisung? It’s your party,” Jaemin says.

There’s no reply. Jisung is staring at his hands, completely lost in thought.

“Jisung?” Chenle whispers.

Jisung snaps up at the sound of Chenle’s voice. His eyes struggle to focus, coming out of his mind and into reality. Something Donghyuck is deeply familiar with. It’s always a little disorienting once you get drawn out.

Chenle leans over. “Where did you go?”

“Nowhere,” he says, hurriedly. “Um, yeah. That sounds good. Really good.”

“Well, okay, then,” says Chenle. He smiles and his eyes sparkle and Jisung feels so struck. It makes him want to hold onto Chenle’s hand tighter so he can’t disappear on him. “Party at my place for the sixteen-year-old.”

“They grow up so fast,” Jaemin whines, wiping invisible tears from his eyes.

Renjun hits him with a pillow. “You aren’t his mother!”

Donghyuck wants to laugh with them all, but he can’t. He meets Mark’s eyes over the pillow fight between them. Things have been rocky between them before. They’ve always had a rough time trying to stay on the same page, which, ultimately, always ends up with them fighting somehow. This feels different, though. This feels like the calm before the storm.

A final chance.

One wrong move and they might be done for good. Even if both of them don’t want it.

Donghyuck’s not sure he’s ready for that.

*

“You’ve been strangely quiet,” Jaemin says as they carry in extra towels from the closet. The butler could have easily done it, but they know their way around this area of Chenle’s house easily enough to do the job themselves.

Donghyuck’s never understood Chenle’s family and their extravagant ways. Everything about Chenle’s house is large and cumbersome and just a little too expensive for his taste. They have way too much stuff and way too much room. All he can think is, the more house there is, the more there is to burn down. The more there is to lose.

Of course, that doesn’t stop him from being floored every time he finds out the secrets of Chenle’s mansion. There’s a game room, a movie theater, and he even has a bowling lane in his basement. Who has a bowling lane in their basement? Chenle. That’s who. The boy who’s so innocent, so naïve, that he doesn’t realize just how rich he actually is.

So, when Donghyuck discovers that there’s an indoor pool and the outside wall lifts up to allow them to swim outside, he’s both stunned and yet also sort of expects it at this point. He wishes the wall was up because he misses the sun. February air is chilly, though, and no one else is a human heater, so it stays closed.

As he places the towels down, he says, “I haven’t.”

“Yeah, you have,” argues Jaemin. “Quiet and reclusive. Something happened between you and Mark again. Is that why he came back into the reception looking all upset?”

“That was weeks ago. How do you even remember?”

“Because it was a significant change in his mood. Sometimes you forget that I’m just as observant as you.”

Oh, no, Donghyuck knows. That’s why he tries to be careful. “We just…” His eyes fall on Mark. He’s laughing with Jeno at the side of the pool. “We just got into a bit of an argument. It’ll be fine.”

“You know, you guys seem to think you can just argue and things will magically fix themselves. Your communication sucks.”

“Thank you, Jaemin. I’m well aware.”

“Then fix it!”

“How?” he demands. “How would you like me to fix it? Tell me the plan because I sure as fuck don’t have one anymore.”

His fingers itch as heat runs to the tips. Everything feels like it’s falling apart and he doesn’t know how to handle it. All he can do is stand there and watch it crumble around him while his fire taunts him. Sometimes he wishes he were a Negate. At least then he wouldn’t hurt people.

He looks away when Jaemin steps closer, placing his hands on Donghyuck’s shoulders. If he feels how hot Donghyuck is running, he doesn’t say a word. Although, his fingers keep tapping along his shirt as if they can’t stay in place for too long.

“You need to talk to him,” Jaemin says, softly. He keeps quiet as to not attract anyone’s attention. Renjun is the closest, but he’s busy helping Chenle out with the sound system. “You need to tell him everything.”

“You think I haven’t?”

“I think you’re leaving things out. I think you haven’t told him how you feel.”

Donghyuck growls and wrenches himself away from Jaemin. “I wish you’d stop with that.”

“I’ll stop when you admit the truth. Don’t treat me like an idiot, Hyuck. I know you. I know what’s going on. This thing between you and Mark isn’t going to heal until you’re both honest. And he’s been open with you for a while now. It’s time you did the same.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jaemin grips his forearm and tugs him close. Close enough, so when he whispers, it’s almost so low even Donghyuck doesn’t catch it. “Do you love him, Donghyuck? Do you love Mark?”

The question squeezes the air out of his lungs. He can’t look away from Jaemin’s gaze. It’s hard, steady, challenging. It causes all his words to get stuck in his throat. He wants to lie. He wants to say no. He wants Jaemin to let this all go so he can move on like he’s fucking supposed to. But, when Jaemin stares at him like this—like he really does know everything that’s been happening—he can’t find it in himself to do it.

“I—”

“Jisung’s here,” Renjun says, stepping up beside them.

Jaemin immediately lets go, smile plastered to his face, and screams, “Birthday boy is here!”

It’s all thrill and happiness, but as he looks back, Jaemin gives Donghyuck an expression that reads they aren’t quite done. Donghyuck doesn’t care. With Jisung here, he can breathe again.

Chenle dashes by them and leaps into Jisung’s arms, nearly knocking them both over. Jisung manages to stay solid, though.

“Whoa, Lele,” Jeno laughs. “Don’t kill him before he can even take a swim.”

“I wouldn’t kill him!” argues Chenle before beaming up at Jisung. “Happy Birthday!”

“Thank you.”

Donghyuck feels a nudge against his arm and Jaemin whispers, “Go cool down. You’re burning up again.”

He wants to tell him that cooling down isn’t exactly easy and that the reason for his burn-up is mainly Jaemin’s fault in the first place, but he doesn’t. Instead, he wanders off to the other side of the pool. Mark passes him on the way. Neither of them say a word.

Wasting no time, he slides into the water next to where Renjun’s found a perch, kicking along the surface. The water is lukewarm, yet still cool enough to make a bit of difference. It won’t kill the fire rolling inside him, but it’ll subdue it. Just a bit. Just enough to make it feel like he’s not a bomb about to go off.

“You were getting the full treatment, I suppose?” Renjun questions.

Donghyuck ducks his head under the surface and rises back up with a small splash. “I’d appreciate you all minding your own business.”

“It became our business when it started affecting the whole group,” states Renjun. “We just don’t want you two to do or say something you can never come back from. And now that Mark’s got a girlfriend, again, we have to be extra careful. He’s going to be more distant now.”

“At least you live with him this time. Can’t avoid you when he lives in the room next door.”

“Good point.”

He rests his arms on the side of the pool, cradling his head, and glances behind him. Jaemin’s taken one of the longue chairs. He smiles at Jisung. Although, it’s effectively wiped away when Jeno steps up and shakes. Water droplets splatter everywhere. Jaemin yells, “Yah, Jeno Lee!”

The frustrated tone is useless because Jaemin simply reaches up to grab Jeno and wrestles him into the chair to kiss him. Donghyuck can tell by the shaking shoulders that Jeno is still laughing, but he leans in, anyway. It’s funny because Jeno isn’t the kind of person to show off his love in front of other people. It’s only when he’s with Jaemin that he seems to relinquish that control and let Jaemin do what he wants. To Jeno, Jaemin is everything, worth everything, and definitely worth walking over his personal line of morality.

“What did I say about PDA?” Donghyuck shouts. Anything to keep his friends from lip-locking in front of him.

Jeno leans away with a smile while Jaemin calls back, “Don’t look if you don’t want to see!”

“Can’t help it when you do it directly in front of all of us!”

Sitting at the end of one of the other lounge chairs is Mark. He shakes his head at them both, eyes flicking between Donghyuck and Jaemin. Even if they aren’t in the best place, he’s still fighting a smile at their antics and it makes Donghyuck’s stomach flip.

“Oh, leave them alone,” Renjun says, poking Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Chenle will peel them apart eventually.”

“Well, he’s not being fast enough,” Donghyuck huffs. He rests his head on his arms again. “At some point, they’ll be fined for public indecency.”

“At least they aren’t having sex in public.”

Donghyuck recoils. “Ew! Renjun, seriously?”

“What? I’m just being honest. I’d rather take them making out over that.”

“Why can’t we just not see either?”

“Because we live in an unfair world and we don’t get the option.”

Behind him, someone hits the water with a loud splash. Judging by the laughter that comes immediately after, it was Chenle. His orange hair is plastered to his forehead as he calls for Jeno to join him. Donghyuck waits until they’re close enough to jump on Jeno’s back and pull him under. They wrestle for a bit, Jeno finally managing to get away and splashing Donghyuck in the face.

He sputters. “Cheat shot.”

“You tackled me from behind,” counters Jeno. “You deserved it.”

Whether or not he does, it’s a battle not worth fighting. He kicks away, letting Jeno chase him until they’re both trying to shove each other below the surface. Chenle pulls on Donghyuck, laughing. Mark once told him they often looked like a pile of puppies, rough-housing and tugging on ears. He supposes that’s true. That much hasn’t changed over the years.

He kind of hopes it never does.

Donghyuck launches himself up from the bottom of the pool, hair in his eyes, and glances back toward Jaemin. He isn’t there. Mark and Jisung sit in the chairs, side by side. While Jisung watches Chenle playing with Jeno, Mark is on his phone. Again. It irks him to no end.

There’s another splash and this time it’s Renjun. Although, Donghyuck doesn’t think it was on purpose. Jeno stands at the edge of the pool, laughing, and when Renjun finally resurfaces, he looks like he’s out for blood. He swims over to the side, grabs Jeno’s ankle, and yanks him into the water. Chenle’s laugher ricochets off the walls, his power sinking into the sound to make their ears ring.

Mark lowers his phone as Donghyuck swims toward them. He climbs out, dripping, and when he shakes his hair, he makes everything in a five-foot radius spotted with water. Mark rubs the droplets off his arm.

Hands on hips, Donghyuck tilts his head and says, “If you’re done talking with your little girlfriend, how about you join?”

He’s not sure why he does it. It’s just an urge. An urge to jerk Mark just a bit, to work out his own frustration because he doesn’t know how else to handle it. Seeing Mark constantly talking to Mina before all of them is irritating and, yeah, maybe he’s a bit jealous. He’s not going to tell Mark that. Or anyone for that matter. Because he shouldn’t be saying anything at all. He should be taking this as a good sign. Mark _should_ be moving on and so should Donghyuck. This was the plan from the beginning.

It’s just a lot harder than he thought it would be.

“I will in a bit. Jaemin went to get the cake.” Mark reaches down to grab a towel to toss to Donghyuck. He catches it. “You’re going to get cold.”

He wants to laugh at the whole absurdity of it all. Perhaps it’s a good thing that Mark is acting as though they hadn’t fought in the first place. He should take it, let Mark play it off, but he can’t. His mouth won’t let him.

“I’m practically made from fire, Mark,” he says, albeit a little intensely. “I don’t get cold. What’s with you lately?”

Mark frowns. “What do you mean?”

He needs to not. He needs to keep his mouth closed and his feelings in check and to let it fucking go. Too bad he can’t help but replay their argument from the wedding. They’re going to do it all over again and he’s too stupid to stop himself. He doesn’t even have the excuse that he’s too tired. All the words he couldn’t form that night just come pouring out.

It’s going to be the same old argument.

“Dude, we’re hanging out and you’re on your phone. That’s how it always is now. I get it, you’re meeting new people, you’ve got yourself a girlfriend—”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“—but you’re here with us. No offense to her, but we’ve been here longer and we’re a little bit more important, don’t you think?”

“That’s sort of selfish, isn’t it? Making me choose between the two? I’m not going to pick, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck grips the towel until his knuckles whiten. Just how serious is he about this girl? To even make her an option _to_ pick. They would need to be close. Too close. Apparently, Mark’s found a girl that is even enough to his friends and Donghyuck hates that. He loathes it. He loathes himself for doing this.

“I’m not asking you to,” he grits out, body burning. He can’t settle it. It won’t settle. The heat just keeps rising.

“Yes, you are.”

And rising.

“I’m just saying that it would be nice if you were actually paying attention to Jisung _on his birthday_ than to your phone.”

“I am,” Mark insists. “Why don’t you just admit that you don’t like the fact that I’m focusing my attention on something other than you?”

The towel bursts into flames. Jisung jumps back as Mark leaps forward. He knocks Donghyuck’s hand toward the pool, the towel falling from his grasp. It hisses as the fire extinguishes against the surface of the water, until it starts to sink to the bottom. Jeno, Chenle, and Renjun have halted at the other end of the pool, staring wide-eyed.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck snaps. He grips his hair. Everything burns. “Fuck. Fuck.”

“Hyuck—” Mark reaches out to touch Donghyuck’s arm, but he slaps it away. Right now, he’s as hot as an oven. One touch and Mark loses a layer of skin and gains blisters. It’s happened before, and he won’t let it happen again.

“Don’t touch me. Give me a second.”

Donghyuck breathes deeply in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to shove the roaring bonfire in his body down into a candle flame. His eyes feel dry and his body hurts. It’s enough to make him feel like he’s about to keel over. Or simply explode.

He’d done that enough times to know that this feeling is close enough to the tipping point. Luckily, he’s right near a pool.

Head throbbing, he makes his way to his bag and digs through it until he finds his bottle of suppressants. He pops one and sits down on the lounge chair Jaemin left empty. He just needs to keep things in control. Always in control.

“You okay?” Jisung asks.

Donghyuck gives him a half-smile. Tiredness wraps around him and he knows he needs to put ease into Jisung’s mind because Jisung looks worried and Donghyuck definitely doesn’t want that. He swallows, feeling the fire inside him decrease slightly, and says, “I’m fine, Sungie. Don’t worry about me. Just a little overheated.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “Pray you don’t get a power that requires you to take those pills. They’re horrendous.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark starts.

“Mark?” Donghyuck asks, testing.

The tension is tight. It tugs at everything inside him as Mark scans his face, eyebrows furrowed and lower lips worried by his teeth. He wants to say something, but he chooses against it and turns away. Donghyuck slouches, putting his head in his hands as he continues to breathe away the fire thrashing inside him.

The door opens and Jaemin raises his arms, cake in hand. “I have cake! What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Mark mumbles as he marches over to help Jaemin with the cake.

No one mentions what happened. No one even tries, even when Jaemin asks again a few minutes later. Donghyuck does his job to light the candles and pretend it never happened by singing obnoxiously into Jisung’s ear. It doesn’t matter how much tension there is between him and Mark, this isn’t the place to fight.

This is Jisung’s day and he deserves to think back on it for all the good things. Not for how much of a shitshow he and Mark are. Every time Jisung looks between them with that concerned expression, Donghyuck knows he’s done a poor job.

He’s known Jisung since he was a kid. He’s watched him grow up into the teenager he is now, a little quiet, but strong. Life hasn’t given him the best hand and they all know it. Jisung’s always been desperate for a power, if only to fit in. They’ve tried to include him, to make it seem like having a power isn’t needed in order to have a good, happy life, but they can’t take that want away.

Jisung’s worried about it. And he has a right to be. He might end up without one, in the end. So, it isn’t fair that Donghyuck’s unloading all of his shit in front of Jisung when he already has enough of his own to deal with. Jisung doesn’t need to know Donghyuck and Mark are fighting. He shouldn’t have to carry that worry with him. Because he will. He will worry because he cares about them as if they were his own brothers.

It’s impossible not to feel bad when he finally says good night for the night, leaving Chenle alone with Jisung. He can’t stop himself from hugging Jisung and mentally apologizing for being the worst big brother in the world. Like he said to Mark, it’s Jisung’s day. Not his. He shouldn’t have done anything to pester Mark into a fight. He should have just played nice.

Renjun’s right, he thinks as he leaves Chenle’s property. This fight between him and Mark became everybody’s business the moment it started affecting the group. And seeing Jisung’s anxious glances tonight just further proves that it’s affecting everyone quite a bit.

And he can’t let that happen.

*

Donghyuck’s just gotten out of the shower when someone bangs on the front door. With Jungwoo and Lucas having gone out for breakfast, it leaves him the one to see who it is. He wraps a towel around his waist and heads to the door. One look out the peephole has him sighing. He yanks it open before Mark’s fist can hit one more time.

His hand freezes mid-air, eyes instantly dropping to Donghyuck’s chest. Red floods his face to his ears and he coughs, looking away. “Um, morning.”

Holding the door open, he asks, “What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, needed to talk to you and, um, can you put clothes on?” Mark’s voice raises at the end, meek and a bit flustered.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes and goes into the bathroom to change. He knows he should be a bit embarrassed about Mark seeing him in just a towel, and he kind of is, but he’s still tired, still upset, and that definitely overloads his humiliation. His hair is still dripping when he reenters the living room to find Mark on the couch.

“Now, what do you want?” he inquires, moving to the kitchen to start the coffee machine. He doesn’t drink it often, considering he thinks it’s horrible, but he needs a pick-me-up. Especially if he has to deal with this.

Mark hurries to follow him and hovers in the archway. “I needed to talk to you.”

“So you said. About what?”

“About what happened yesterday. At Jisung’s party.” Mark leans against the frame and frowns. “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m sorry about what I said.”

Donghyuck puts his mug under the machine and hits the button. He watches it fill. “I am, too. I shouldn’t have said those things. At least, not like that. Not there.”

“You were partly right. I mean, I should have been more focused on you guys. It’s just,” he exhales and watches Donghyuck put sugar into his coffee, “I think I like her and I don’t know how to balance things. I’ve always been bad with that. You know that.”

Donghyuck adds more sugar than he would normally because he’s already tasting bitter on his tongue at Mark’s words. “It’s pretty easy, actually. You hang out with her and then you hang out with us and you don’t text the other person while you’re with the one. Pretty simple to me.”

He skirts around Mark to go sit on the couch. Mark eyes him, stuck in place. “Why are you so—Look, I’m trying.”

“Clearly not,” Donghyuck says, reaching for the remote.

Mark marches over and steals it away, eyes narrowed in a glare. Anger, Donghyuck decides, doesn’t look good on Mark.

“I don’t think you get to say anything, considering you’ve never been in my position”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you, who’s never had a boyfriend before and had to balance a relationship with friendship, doesn’t get to criticize what I’m doing,” Mark snaps. “I’m trying. It may not be working just yet, but at least I’m _trying_. All you’ve done is get angry at me and I don’t get it. I don’t understand what I did.”

Donghyuck stares at the black screen of his television. “You’re right. I’ve never had a boyfriend, but even I know how these things should work. You don’t ignore your friends, especially when you’re with them.”

“Fine, I’m sorry. I apologize, okay? But you can’t get angry at me anymore.” Mark drops the remote on the coffee table. “I just want us to go back to the way we were. When we weren’t at each other’s throats for no reason. It’s not easy and I get that, but Mina is helping and you should be glad she is.”

“Oh, and why’s that?” he asks, ignoring the pang in his heart.

“Because the more I like her, the more I move away from loving you. And isn’t that what we’re trying to do? Get back to being just friends. Best friends that aren’t stuck in this crappy situation.”

Donghyuck doesn’t look at him. It’s hard to. His hands shake as he grips his mug, feeling the heat from it sink into his skin.

No. No, he doesn’t want that.

Fuck, he doesn’t want that at all.

The backs of his eyes burn. “Mark.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you go?”

Mark blinks. “What? Why?”

“I just don’t want to talk right now. I just woke up and I have a headache and I don’t want to talk. To anyone. Could you leave?” He chances a glance to Mark. “Please.”

Mark must see something in Donghyuck’s expression that says not to fight it because his brows soften and he nods. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to you later. Feel better.”

Donghyuck turns away, drawing his mug closer so it can burn against his chest where his fire flickers. He thinks Mark is about to close the door when he hears his voice.

“We’re okay, right?”

“Yeah,” he lies. “We’re okay.”

When the door finally closes, Donghyuck places his mug on the coffee table and a sob rips from his throat. He clamps a hand over his mouth to stifle it. He shouldn’t be crying. He doesn’t have the right to. He’s done this to himself and he has to live with the consequences.

*

University, Donghyuck discovers, isn’t all that different from high school. Sure, it’s a little harder and there’s more studying, but there’s a mix of professors that care and don’t care. There’s still a high probability that he’ll skip his morning class to sleep in and struggle to keep up afterward. And, even if people try to act mature, they still manage to carry the same drama from high school with them.

So, yeah. Not that much different.

Perhaps, that’s a good thing. Gong to university is not so much as a culture shock, but more of a culture nudge.

Regardless of all that, he at least tries to make some changes. If he’s going to see what university life is about and whether or not he enjoys it, he needs to at least embrace it for the time being. That means going to class, reading the chapters, and doing the homework. For Donghyuck, it isn’t that hard. Although, his attention span is terrible. He finds himself staring into space more often than not before going back to work.

School is just too boring. There’s no challenge in it.

Not to mention, he still has yet to pick a fixed program. At this point, his degree is going to be general, filled with random courses that he picked simply because they appeared somewhat interesting or they seemed like they’d up the difficulty level, like a few marketing and accounting courses. Of course, that turns out to not be the case. Apparently, numbers and data are boring no matter what level they’re at.

There’s only one good thing that comes out of university, and that’s the ability to claim he’s just too swamped with work to see anyone. Particularly Mark. They still run into each other on occasion. They live in the same building, go to the same school, and have the same friends, so that’s expected. Still, Donghyuck keeps those meetings short. Even though he’d rather not.

A month into school and he’d rather soak up mathematics than face Mark again about his girlfriend, who, _yep_ , he’s still dating. The only person who’s met her is Renjun and he hadn’t much to say on the subject, so Donghyuck takes that for what it is. She’s hadn’t impressed Renjun. That should say a lot.

But he doesn’t get to wallow on it. He doesn’t get to argue about it. He just has to let Mark do what he needs to and if that means dating a girl from his program, then Donghyuck’s willing to step back. That’s what he was supposed to do this whole time.

**Jaemin:**

**Mark’s left if you want to come over**

Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

**Donghyuck:**

**Can’t. Got to study**

**Jaemin:**

**Come on**

**We haven’t seen you in weeks**

**I miss you <3**

**Donghyuck:**

**It’s been three days, but I love to feel loved**

**Keep that up**

**Jaemin:**

**You going to avoid him forever?**

Donghyuck puts his phone down with a sigh. He’s not avoiding Mark. Avoiding would mean that he refuses to see him, that he’d dodge out of everything Mark is also invited to. That isn’t the case. They still talk, text, hang out as a group. He just doesn’t actively seek Mark out. He waits for Mark to come to him.

It’s sometime past nine and Jungwoo and Lucas are still out on their date. They always go on dates. He knows they’re in love and that they’re engaged and all that shit, but do they really have to rub it in? He’s a sad, lonely single. Let him catch a break.

A knock on his door breaks him out of thought and he gets up from the couch to open it. Jisung stands in the hall, hands fidgeting.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“Hi, nice to see you, too,” Jisung replies as he slips around Donghyuck and into the apartment.

After closing the door, he crosses his arms and turns on Jisung. “You going to tell me why you’re here at nine-thirty at night?”

“I need your phone.”

“What’s wrong with yours? Wait, did you walk here to use my phone?”

Jisung looks everywhere but Donghyuck. “It got taken away, so, yes, I did.”

“Where’s your phone?”

“Are you going to let me use yours?”

“Not until you answer all my questions.”

“I knew I should have gone to Mark.”

Donghyuck’s eyebrows raise up almost to his hairline, his expression reading, quite obviously, ‘Are you serious?’. Jisung shuffles a bit.

“I’ll give you my phone if you tell me what happened to yours,” Donghyuck says as he heads back to the couch and the paperwork he’s scattered around it. He’s aware it’s a disaster, but there’s only so many ways for him to study and this is the easiest. This way, he can see everything at once.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do homework,” he comments, moving closer to peer down at one of the math sheets Donghyuck’s been working on for the last half hour.

Donghyuck snorts. “I only do it if I think it’s necessary. Focus, Jisung. What happened to your phone?”

“It got taken away,” he admits. “My mom took it.”

“Why?”

“Because I punched a kid at school today.”

Donghyuck stills, jaw dropping, because, _fucking hell_ , Jisung. His little Jisung punched a kid and is standing there in perfect health. That better mean he won. “What the fuck?”

“It’s a long story. Your phone? Please?”

Picking up his cellphone from the coffee table, Donghyuck gives it a wave in the air and says, “Who you calling?”

Jisung takes it and starts punching in a number. “Chenle.”

“I’m really not all that surprised.”

He can hear the ringing, so he falls silent and eyes his work. It shouldn’t take him much longer to do. In fact, he probably doesn’t even need to do it at all. No one is going to check this worksheet and he knows how to do it already. It didn’t take him long to figure out. But he’s been bored and it’s better than nothing at this point. Even video games aren’t going to please him right now.

Jisung chuckles and twists away slightly as he says, “Hey, it’s me—Because I don’t have mine, which I’ll explain later. You know where the public pool is, right?—Great, meet me there—See you soon.” He clicks off and hands the phone back out for Donghyuck to take. “I need another favor.”

Donghyuck raises a brow. “What?”

“Your lock picking kit.”

Just what in god’s green Earth is Jisung getting himself up to?

It’s not like Donghyuck can say much about it. He can’t stop Jisung from doing it because then he’d be a hypocrite. It was Donghyuck who got all his friends into sneaking around and breaking and entering in the first place. Mainly because he just needed a way to stop thinking about life and start distracting himself with a different kind of risk.

He wonders if that’s what Jisung needs right now. To distract himself from whatever is stressing him out. Because Donghyuck can see that Jisung isn’t happy. He’s in his mind, drowning in thoughts and issues. But Jisung isn’t going to talk to Donghyuck. They don’t have that kind of relationship. What they do have, is loyalty and silent understanding.

“I’ll owe you,” Jisung says. “Please?”

“You’re using an awful lot of please today. Rather odd coming from your mouth.”

Donghyuck stands and, for a moment, he studies Jisung, all antsy and stressed and wanting a way to take his mind off of things. And he gets it. He walks down the hallway to his room, digs around his top draw until he finds the kit, and comes back. He tosses it and Jisung scrambles to catch it.

Eyeing the case, he asks, “You aren’t going to stop me?”

“Would you listen to me?”

“Probably not.”

Donghyuck hums, moving back toward the couch. “Besides, it would be a bit hypocritical, wouldn’t it?”

“Guess so.” Jisung heads back toward the door.

Before he makes it, Donghyuck adds, “Just don’t get caught.”

“I won’t,” he promises.

“And if anyone asks?”

“You had nothing to do with it.”

“That’s my boy. Now, leave, please. I need to get back to work.”

Jisung pops the door open. “Thanks, Donghyuck. Really.”

Without taking his gaze off his work, Donghyuck waves a hand at him in a shooing motion. “Yeah, yeah. Close the door on the way out, will you?”

Jisung does as he’s told, leaving Donghyuck to his work. Well, if he can’t do right by Mark, maybe he can do right by everyone else.

*

It’s eight o’clock in the morning when Donghyuck finds Jungwoo at the door, slipping on his shoes. He’s moving quickly, almost panic-like.

“Where are you going?” he asks. 

Jungwoo looks up with wide eyes, almost as if he doesn’t expect the be caught, and says, “I have an appointment. I’ll be back for dinner. Love you.”

“Right back at you,” he replies, frowning slightly. The door shuts tight without another word and Donghyuck is left very confused and a little worried. When Lucas exits his room, Donghyuck asks, “What appointment does Jungwoo have?”

Lucas simply shrugs. “No idea. Said he was meeting up with Taeil, I think. He’s been a bit weird the last couple of days.”

“And you don’t know why?”

“I asked. He told me not to worry about it. This is me not worrying,” he says, grabbing a towel from the closet. “He’ll tell us when he chooses to. I don’t think it’s anything bad. Anyway, I’m having a shower.”

Donghyuck lets him go because what’s he going to do? Lucas doesn’t know anything and it doesn’t look like he’s going to invest the time to press about it. The only thing he knows, it definitely seems like it could be bad. Jungwoo doesn’t usually let things stress him out, so this must be something big. Big enough to rattle him.

Knowing he won’t get much out of worrying about it, he grabs a breakfast bar and goes back to his room to crack open his textbooks. He’s got midterms coming up. Even if he doesn’t need to study as much as everyone else, he still needs to study to some extent. He’s expecting to be holed up in his room for most of the day to get some headway.

Of course, nothing in his life ever goes to plan because, not over an hour later, his door swings open and Chenle barges into his room with Jisung on his heels. It startles him so much that he jumps.

“What the actual fuck?” he snaps from the bed. “Learn to knock! Also, aren’t you supposed to be at school?”

“Give Jisung your hand,” orders Chenle, shoving Jisung toward the bed.

Donghyuck wrinkles his nose. “I would rather not, thank you.”

“Please,” he presses. “Just do it. I swear, there’s a good reason.”

He eyes Jisung’s outstretched hand, still trying to figure out why they’re both here, in his room, at this time in the morning. Evidently, this is important, judging by Chenle’s urgency. But holding Jisung’s hand? Donghyuck may be an affectionate person, but holding hands with Jisung seems a little odd to him. It seems kind of silly, considering he’ll hug someone, sit on their lap, link arms, throw his arm around their neck. Hand holding just feels strangely intimate. And he definitely doesn’t want to do that with Jisung.

But Chenle is bouncing on the ball of his feet with anticipation, his eyes begging Donghyuck to do it. So, he heaves a sigh and slaps his hand into Jisung’s. “Now, what?”

“Try to create your fire,” Chenle instructs.

Holding out his other hand, he snaps his fingers. Nothing happens. In fact, Donghyuck can’t feel that little flicker of fire inside him at all. His chest feels empty, cold. Panic rises and he snaps his fingers again. And again, and again. He rips his hand from Jisung’s, snaps, and his whole hand to the edge of his elbow catches on fire. He sighs as the flicks the fire away, the coldness of his body shifting to warm in seconds.

Chenle is squealing and then running from the room, but Donghyuck can’t focus on it. He stares at his hand before pressing it to his chest. The flicker is back and— _Fuck_ , he panicked. He fucking panicked because he couldn’t feel it and for months— _years_ —he’s been dreaming of getting rid of his power, wishing he never had it in the first place, only to freak out when he finally doesn’t have it.

Everything felt so cold. Unreal.

It was terrifying. 

How pathetic.

He puts out his hand, trembling just slightly, so he can light his thumb on fire. With a blink, it’s out again. He does it again, just to make sure it’s not a fluke.

Beside him, Jisung watches.

“So,” he shoves his hands into his pockets, “new ability?”

“I guess so. Chenle seems to think so.” Jisung perches himself on the edge of Donghyuck bed, appearing a little lost. Donghyuck wonders if this whole thing is freaking him out. He spent years hoping to have a power, while knowing he didn’t have a chance, and now this?

“I would say it is,” Donghyuck says. “Only makes sense. My fire doesn’t just not work at random. It always works. Even if I don’t want it to.”

He moves to his desk to busy himself. He knows Jisung won’t inquire about it. Jisung’s always been good at simply watching, never too nosy. It’s one of the things Donghyuck likes most about him.

“How did it go?” asks Donghyuck as he restacks his books off to the side. “With the pool?”

“Good. I’ll bring you back your kit later this week,” he says. “It, um, was kind of liberating.”

“That’s good. Sorted everything out, then?”

Jisung nods, fingers twiddling in his lap. “For the most part. I think I was just having a bit of a breakdown. Thank god for Chenle, though. I don’t think I would have been okay if it weren’t for him.” He pauses as his cheeks flood with color. “We, uh, are dating now. Just so you know.”

Leaning against his desk to study Jisung, he asks, “Jaemin know?”

“Not yet.”

“He’s going to be so pissed you told me first and not him,” Donghyuck snorts. “But, in the grand scheme of things, I guess I’m happy for you guys. Been a long time coming. The longing looks and puppy eyes were starting to get irritating.”

“Wow, thank you.”

Donghyuck shrugs. “I tell it like it is.”

They both turn when the front door opens and Renjun’s voice drifts through the apartment. “This better be good. I have class in twenty minutes.”

“I promise, it’s worth it,” Chenle says.

Jisung stands as all his friends filter into the room. Renjun has his jacket on and his bag slung over his shoulder. While Jaemin looks up and ready for the day, Jeno appears tired and a little confused. In fact, he kind of looks like he got dragged out of bed, which, honestly, is probably what happened. Mark has a bag, too, though Donghyuck knows it’s because he just got home from his morning class.

Yes, regardless of their friendship status, he still knows Mark’s schedule by heart.

“Okay, so, watch.”

Chenle strides over to Jisung’s side, takes his hand, and takes a deep breath. Everyone flinches, shouting over each other to tell him ‘No!’ and ‘Don’t!’. All of them except Donghyuck, who observes the whole thing with growing interest. And when Chenle finally lets out the air, there’s no sound.

Jaemin’s eyes widen, hands still in the air from his terrible attempt to stop Chenle. His gaze drops to Chenle and Jisung’s conjoined hands and then back to Chenle’s smug smile. “Wait. Wait, a minute. What?”

Chenle shakes Jisung’s hand. “He has a power! I think it’s a block. Maybe a shield or something else. It happened at school this morning. I couldn’t get any sound out. It was like something was completely suppressing my ability. And then we tested it on Donghyuck and he couldn’t even make a flame until Jisung let go.”

They all glance at Donghyuck, who shrugs. “Looks like a power to me.”

“Nullification?” Mark suggests, his gaze dipping and rising all over Jisung’s body. “The ability to nullify someone else’s ability. It makes the most sense.”

“Are you doing anything?” Jaemin asks Jisung.

He shakes his head. “No. I had no idea until Chenle got the idea this morning. It doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything at all.”

“Could be like Taeyong or Jaehyun’s power,” Jeno says. “Not being able to turn it off, you know?”

Suddenly, Renjun stalks forward and takes Jisung’s other hand. “Someone say something in a different language.”

“You may be annoying, but I’m still taller than you,” Mark says in English and Donghyuck has to bite his lip from smiling. Oh, if Renjun only knew.

Renjun stares at Mark with a furrowed brow as he releases his grip on Jisung. “I caught the words ‘taller’ and ‘you’. You better not have just insulted me.”

“A power,” Jaemin breathes. “Our baby has a power!”

Jaemin launches himself at Jisung, giving him the tightest hug he can muster. They nearly fall backward onto the bed, but Jisung keeps them upright.

“How happy are you? You must be so happy? Gosh, I’m so happy for you!” Jaemin moves back so he can grasp at Jisung’s shoulders, words almost slurring together with how fast he’s talking.

Jisung laughs. “I guess it just hasn’t sunk in yet. It feels unreal. It’s not like I really have anything fancy to show.”

“I think it suits you,” Mark says as he moves to sit on Donghyuck’s bed. “Subtle, yet useful. I mean, you never would have even known if it weren’t for Chenle. By the way, how did you figure it out? You said it happened at school?”

At that, Chenle goes a bit red. “Oh, yeah, about that. Um, I almost got into a fight and I was going to use my powers, but then Jisung grabbed me and I couldn’t.”

“A fight? Lele, you know better,” scolds Jaemin with a click of his tongue.

“Hey, at least Chenle didn’t actually fight them. Jisung, however…” Donghyuck trails off his sentence, shooting Jisung a grin that only says trouble.

“Jisung got into a fight? When? With who?”

Jisung wraps his arms around himself. “It was only a small one. I just, you know, broke his nose.”

“Jisung!”

“He learned that from Donghyuck,” Renjun stage-whispers to Jeno.

And Donghyuck is so fucking proud of him.

“To be fair,” Chenle says, loud enough to cut Jaemin’s oncoming lecture, “they were messing with him long before he broke their nose. And they deserved it. I’m proud of him.”

Jisung smiles at him. “Thanks.”

Kissing his cheek, Chenle whispers, “Anytime.”

Donghyuck gets the absolute pleasure to watch everyone get stunned out of their minds by that. Especially Jaemin, who opens and closes his mouth like a fish.

“What is even happening anymore?” Jeno asks, rubbing at his eyes. “I feel like I’ve missed out on so much.”

“It’s kind of a long story,” Jisung tells them.

“We’re dating,” Chenle says.

“Okay, not that long of a story, apparently.”

From the bed, Mark snorts. “Also, not that shocking. And I’m apparently the oblivious one in the group.” He reaches out to grab the stuffed lion.

Oh, no, he doesn’t.

“Paws off,” Donghyuck says, snatching it out of Mark’s hands and hugging it to his chest with a frown.

“I got it for you,” argues Mark.

“Exactly,” he says. “For me. Not you. It’s mine now, so paws off.”

He really doesn’t need Mark to pick up the one item in the room that holds a hell of a lot of good memories while they’re in the middle of a cold war.

Jaemin, eyes still glued to Jisung, manages, “Might have been obvious, but I didn’t think he’d do anything about it.”

“Breathe, Nana,” Jeno says, coming up to wrap his arm around Jaemin’s shoulders with a faint, fond smile.

“He’s all grown up.”

“Good god,” whines Donghyuck. “Don’t cry.”

Jaemin wipes at his eyes. “I’m not crying.”

“Loser.”

“Soulless!” Jaemin yells.

Shaking his head, Donghyuck says, “I’m not soulless. I’m just not an emotional wreck.”

“No, you just suck at showing your emotions.”

“Okay,” Jeno says, “let’s not fight. This is a good moment. Jisung has a power _and_ a boyfriend. Congrats, Sungie.”

Jisung smiles. “Thanks.”

In all honesty, he’s expecting Jaemin to be all smiles again, but he’s not. In fact, his expression drops even more. His eyes are red, as if he’s on the verge of tears.

“What’s wrong?” Jisung asks.

“We won’t get to do the ceremony with you,” he mutters. “We can’t get at the treehouse anymore. How are we going to initiate you completely? We never thought it through, Duckie.”

Sighing, Donghyuck heads to his closet—setting the stuffed lion down on his desk on the way—and pulls open the door. He reaches in behind his shoe rack to grab the one thing he was determined to bring with him when he moved out of his house. The long piece of wood, with everyone’s names on it, weighty in his hands as he straightens and turns to them. He spins it between his fingers.

“I always knew you were a sentimental bitch,” Jaemin states.

Donghyuck raises his brows. “Language, Nana. Kids are present.”

“As if you’ve ever cared about that.”

He places it on the bed, next to Jisung. This stupid piece of wood held too many memories to be left behind. It’s where Mark and he came up with their alias’, when Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun were finally initiated into the group. The name of Chenle when he got his powers. There’s an empty space at the bottom, where Donghyuck’s always imagined Jisung’s stamp would go. Powers or no powers.

“You just need a name,” Jeno says, crawling up onto the bed to sit beside Mark. “Got anything in mind?”

“To be honest, I never thought I’d be doing this at all,” he admits.

Chenle squeezes his elbow. “You are now, though.”

“We were going to add you regardless,” says Jaemin. “Power or not, you were going on it. Donghyuck and I talked about it once. You’re one of us, no matter what.”

Jisung can’t stop the smile that grows on his face. “I’m okay with that.”

“Good. Okay, so name? Anyone?”

Jisung chuckles a bit when his eyes scan the list and reach the bottom. “I still can’t believe you went for Gummy Bear.”

“I like them,” Chenle says.

“And he looks like one,” adds Renjun. “Seems to fit.”

“It has absolutely nothing to do with his power,” Mark puts in.

Shrugging, Chenle says, “I still like it.”

“Guys, can we focus on Jisung?” Jaemin asks. “Nullification, right? Nully? Blank? Void?”

“Those are stupid,” says Donghyuck.

“Then, you come up with one.”

“Fine.” Donghyuck lifts his eyes to the ceiling in thought. He doesn’t have to think for long, however, because it hits him right then and there. He grins and sets his attention on Jisung. “Slate.”

Jisung tilts his head. “Slate?”

“Like a blank slate,” Donghyuck elaborates. “You wipe away people’s powers.”

“I like it,” Chenle says.

“So, do I,” agrees Jeno. “What do you think, Jisung?”

Sitting on the bed, Jisung places the piece of wood onto his lap and begins to carve. They gather around, peering over his shoulder as he works. He’s careful with each letter. When he’s done, he brushes away the excess wood and holds the whole thing out to look at.

_Hypnos_

_Haechan_

_Vox_

_Fauna_

_Flora_

_Gummy Bear_

_Slate_

“One last thing,” Donghyuck says, taking the knife from Jisung. “Hand.”

Jeno covers his eyes, groaning, “Urgh, I hate this part.”

He doesn’t wait for Jisung to be ready. He just digs the knife into the bed of his thumb until a small bead of blood forms. Jisung presses his fingerprint into the spot beside his name.

“There,” Mark says. “How do you feel?”

“It feels a bit surreal still,” he replies. “I guess it won’t settle in for a bit.”

Jaemin picks up the board. “Can we frame this?”

“No,” Renjun says. “Because anyone who comes into our apartment will think we’re part of an occult.”

“Aren’t we?” teases Donghyuck. He holds out his hand for the piece of wood, which Jaemin hands over. Carefully, he leans it up against the wall. “Anyway, hate to be rude, but you all need to go. I’m in the middle of work.”

“Wow, that _is_ rude,” Jeno says. “You’re kicking out your friends already?”

“If you don’t leave, you won’t be my friend at all.” Donghyuck points to the door. “Seriously, out. I have two hours before my test.”

“Oh, please. I doubt you’ll do horribly in it,” Jaemin says, even though he moves toward the door with everyone else. “Donghyuck, the secret genius. Remember when you used to fail tests to make Mark think he was smarter?”

For fuck’s sake, Jaemin, really?

Mark squawks. “You used to what?”

It’s impossible to stop his face from flaming because of how scandalized Mark seems to be by the whole thing. “Jaemin, out!” He starts shoving at their shoulders to herd them back to the front door.

“What? I thought you told him!”

“You used to fail tests?” Mark questions. “Wait, when? Why?”

In middle school, he wants to say. And high school. Because it was so much easier for Mark to think he was an average student who needed some extra help on his work. He doesn’t really remember what started it. Maybe it was because he didn’t want Mark to feel put out by Donghyuck’s grades, or maybe it was to spend time with him huddled around the same book and having Mark teach him. Either way, Mark was never supposed to find out. Jaemin only found out when Donghyuck aced a test that everyone thought he would bomb and demanded an answer.

Donghyuck opens the door and gestures for them all to leave. “Good bye. Hope to see you never.”

“You love us,” Jeno says, stepping out into the hall.

“I’d love you more if you left me alone,” he grumbles, cheeks still flaming.

Mark is the last one out the door. He stops at the threshold and points at Donghyuck. “Don’t think we aren’t going to talk about that.”

Batting away his finger, Donghyuck says, “Have no idea what you’re talking about, Canada. Bye, now!”

He slams the door and hopes to whatever being that’s out there that Mark doesn’t come back demanding answers because he’s officially done for the day.

*

When he comes home from class on Friday to find Jaemin and Renjun on his couch and Jungwoo and Lucas nowhere in sight, all he can do is sigh. He veers right past them, despite Jaemin’s hello, and tosses his bag into his room. As he turns around, Jaemin and Renjun push through his doorway and sit on his bed, staring at him.

“Is this some sort of intervention?” he questions, tiredly. He had three classes in a row, starting at eight, and he’s really not feeling up to having conversations. Any conversation, but definitely not the one they look like they want to have. It’s written all over their faces. He’s sick and tired of reiterating himself. He wants a nap.

“No,” says Jaemin. “That’s scheduled for next week. This is your chance to convince us not to do it.”

Donghyuck squats down next to his bag and takes out his laptop and textbooks. His final midterm is soon. Hopefully, this doesn’t last too long. He’s got too many things to do.

“Who are you texting?” Jaemin asks, leaning over to see Renjun’s phone. “Who’s that?”

“Some guy from my class. They’re having a party tonight, a block over. He’s an idiot if he thinks I’m going. Whatever. Not why we’re here.”

Donghyuck raises a brow. “What do you want from me?”

Tearing his eyes from Renjun’s phone, Jaemin says, “You never answered my question from Jisung’s birthday party. Don’t think I haven’t forgotten.”

He runs his fingers through his hair. “Seriously, Jaemin? That was months ago. How do you even—Can’t you just let it go?”

“Not until you tell us what’s going on,” Jaemin says with a shake of his head. “Look, I get it. We’re being annoying, but we’re only being annoying because we need you to snap out of it and realize what’s going on.”

“Oh, yeah? And what’s going on?”

It’s Renjun that answers. “You’re falling apart. We can see it. And we know you know it, too. Ever since Mark confessed to you, you’ve been closed off even more than you were before.” He fixes Donghyuck with a steely gaze. “You’re destroying your chances and for what? What the fuck is keeping you from just accepting Mark?”

“Because you and I both know that you love him,” Jaemin adds before Donghyuck can respond. “Mark’s loved you for years and I’m willing to bet that it’s the same for you. So, I guess, we just don’t understand why you’re so set on pushing yourself away from him. You won’t talk to him, and you won’t talk to us.”

“I’m not talking,” Donghyuck says as he moves to sit in his desk chair, “because there’s nothing to talk about. If there were, we’d be talking about it.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” snaps Renjun.

“You looked terrified when I asked you if you loved Mark. Why?”

Donghyuck turns around to place his laptop on the desk. He busies himself with setting it up, so he doesn’t have to look at his friends.

In a way, he gets it. He does. They’re just worried and Donghyuck hasn’t really given them a reason not to. His acting has fallen short because he’s found himself slowly not caring. There’s too much on his mind to keep it straight enough to put on a show.

But even if he does get it, this is getting irritating. He just wants them to let it go, to let him live and breathe, without having to deal with all of this over and over and fucking over again.

“Hyuck?” Jaemin calls. There’s a hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder and he stills. “Are you scared that what happened with your parents might happen to him?”

Donghyuck inhales sharply. Damn Jaemin and his nosiness. Seriously. Fuck him.

He doesn’t know why he does it, but, before he knows it, he’s spinning around in his chair to stare up at Jaemin, the words spilling from his lips before he can stop them.

“No, I’m not. I’m not scared. I’m not in love. I’m fucking uncomfortable,” he says through gritted teeth. The lies taste unpleasant on his tongue. “I have a best friend who’s in love with me and best friends who won’t leave me the fuck alone about it and some fucking made up feelings they’re projecting onto me because they just can’t accept that I. Am not. In love. With. Mark. Lee. So, do me a favor and leave me the hell alone and stop trying to get me to date him.”

Jaemin’s hand flinches back. At first, Donghyuck thinks it’s because of his words. Part of him regrets them. Each one tears a bigger hole in his heart. Every part of him is aching to lay it all out on the table and shout that, _yes_ , he does love Mark and, _yes_ , he does want to date him and, _yes_ , he never wants to let him go. But he made a promise to himself to keep Mark safe no matter the cost and that cost is all of those things.

It isn’t until Jaemin is looking down at his red-palmed hand that Donghyuck knows Jaemin snapped back because Donghyuck is burning like a star. He can feel it now, the way it rolls just beneath his skin, down to the tips of every limb. He peels his fingers from the arm of his chair to find his fingerprints melted into the plastic.

He can’t stop shaking.

Renjun stands and makes his way over, taking Jaemin’s hand to check it out. It doesn’t seem to be severely injured, but he’s going to need to put ointment on it, just in case.

Glancing at Donghyuck, he says, “I’m just going to say this: if you can’t handle your own lies, what makes you think we can? If you don’t love Mark, then you need to get used to the idea of him dating someone else and having a life that doesn’t include you every moment of his day. If you do love him, then you need to explain to him why you’re being such an asshole. Pick one.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then, you can watch me leave because I’m not dealing with this shit anymore.”

Donghyuck tenses and Jaemin gasps, “Renjun.”

“No, I’m so done with this shit. For years, we’ve watched you two dance around each other and the moment it seems like there’s a breakthrough you fuck it up,” Renjun says, jabbing a finger at Donghyuck. “I don’t even care about your reasons anymore. All I care about is that it’s hurting everyone, including you. I’m not going to watch you shatter yourself, Donghyuck. I’m not. And you can’t ask me to. So, get your fucking act together. Come on, Nana. Let’s go.”

There are no words as Renjun tugs a reluctant Jaemin from his bedroom. Donghyuck sits in the silence of his apartment, biting so hard on his lip that he thinks he tastes blood. He wants to be pissed. He wants to hate them both. All they’re doing is ripping off every plaster Donghyuck’s put on, painful and quick. There’s no time for him to heal between each time they dig into his wounds, his feelings.

Unfortunately, all he feels is resigned and exhausted. If they think he enjoys doing this, then they’re wrong. Donghyuck absolutely doesn’t enjoy this. And, at the end of the day, he knows they’re right.

It isn’t a secret how much Mark and his relationship has become so strained it’s starting to leak into everyone else’s lives. He thinks back to Jisung’s worried expression when Mark and Donghyuck fought at his party. He’s constantly reminded every time Renjun and Jaemin point it out.

As much has he hates to admit it, Renjun is right. Donghyuck has two choices. Too bad neither one of them sound appealing. But there’s only one he can take. He’s going to have to just deal with Mark seeing Mina. He’s going to have to accept Mark moving on. It isn’t that he doesn’t want Mark to be happy. He would do anything for Mark to be happy. So, he just needs to accept and support it, and deal with the fact that he’s second place now. And that’s so much harder to deal with when he knows he had the chance to be first place.

With a heavy heart, he puts on his shoes and leaves the apartment. The walk down to the first floor feels like he’s heading toward the gallows and he has half a mind to turn around and return to his room. He can’t, though. He has to do this.

He makes it all the way to Mark’s apartment, hand hovering an inch from the door, before he realizes he’s not sure he wants to do this. Well, he’s been second guessing himself the whole way through, but this is different. Does he really want to put himself through misery and lie to Mark if he could just be honest and maybe make Mark understand where he’s coming from? If anyone would get it, it’s Mark. He may not like it. In fact, he may fight it because that’s just who Mark is. But at least then Mark would know Donghyuck’s feelings and his reasons and the truth.

Or would that just cause more issues?

It’s hard to tell. Donghyuck’s never been good at making decisions. They always seem to somehow come back and bite him in the ass.

Well, if he does completely chicken out talking to Mark, he can at least say he’s here to see the others. That’s what he decides when he finally knocks on the door. There are faint voices and some rustling and then the door opens.

Mark blinks at him, eyes wide. He glances over his shoulder before moving toward Donghyuck, closing the door slightly in the process.

“What’s up, Hyuck?”

Donghyuck frowns. “Wow, very welcoming.” He doesn’t wait for a response as he ducks under Mark’s arm and into the living room. Nothing seems out of place. “Where’s everyone?”

“Um,” Mark rubs at his arm. He’s looking everywhere but Donghyuck. “They left a while ago. I thought Jaemin and Renjun were with you.”

“They were and then they left, so I thought they were here.” He hears someone in the bathroom and frowns. “Jeno is out studying.”

“I know.”

This time, Mark does look up to meet Donghyuck’s eye and it clicks. Donghyuck’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as he points down the hallway. “Is she here?”

“Yeah.”

“Why is she here?”

It’s Mark’s turn to frown. “She’s my girlfriend, Hyuck. She’s allowed to come over. But, um, I can’t hang out because she’s here, so you kind of have to—”

“Are you kicking me out?” Donghyuck crosses his arms. “I can’t meet her?”

“It’s not that. It’s, um, look, this isn’t easy to say, but she’s not a fan of,” he gestures to Donghyuck, up and down, “pyrokinetics”

Donghyuck pauses. Eyes flicking to the bathroom door and back to Mark, he says, “Wait, she knows about me?”

“Well, yeah,” Mark replies with an airy laugh. “I talk about all of you.”

“And she knows I’m a fire user.”

“Yeah.”

It feels like there’s lead in his stomach, weighting it down into the pit of his gut. “She’s scared of me.”

Mark takes a step forward, hands coming up. “Well, more like wary. She doesn’t know you, but fire freaks her out and she—Yeah, she thinks your powers are a little dangerous. That’s why I’ve been hesitant to introduce you two. I’m still getting her used to the idea of you.”

The thing is, Donghyuck’s used to people being scared of him, of his powers. He knows he can be uncontrollable and disastrous. He knows what happens when he slips up and lets his emotions run wild. It’s not new, not unheard of, and so fucking expected. He just never expected Mark to pick someone who was like that, who wouldn’t want to meet Donghyuck at all, strictly because of his ability.

That’s a low blow.

“So, that’s what this is,” Donghyuck says, slowly, fixing Mark with a heavy expression.

Mark narrows his eyes and points at Donghyuck. “Oh, no, don’t put words into my mouth.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to,” Mark counters. “I know you’re not dangerous and I’ve tried to talk to her about it. But I can’t chase away her fears in a second, Hyuck. It takes time. She just doesn’t want you around until she’s ready.”

Donghyuck doesn’t want her around at all, but he doesn’t get much choice in that, now, does he?

“And she’s,” Mark bites his lip and looks away, “heard things about you. She knows about your parents and I can’t ease that. Not yet anyway.”

Everything Donghyuck’s hearing falls into the negative. Mark has a girlfriend who is terrified of Donghyuck. Mark is willing to keep Donghyuck away just because of said-girlfriend’s fears. Mark’s girlfriend comes first. It’s not something he planned to hear when he got to the apartment, yet here it is. Right in front of him.

Fuck this. Fuck telling him the truth. It’s too late for that.

“I’m not something to ease someone into, Mark. They either want to be friends with me or they don’t,” Donghyuck says. “It’s kind of black and white in my life.”

“Hyuck, I get it. I do, but—”

“Do you?” he demands. “Do you get it? Because, as far as I know, no one has ever been scared of you. You’re perfect Mark-fucking-Lee with his perfect face and his perfect personality and his fucking perfect life. You’ve never had people run from you, been hurt by you. You don’t fucking know, Mark. Don’t even act like you do.”

Mark’s lips are pulled into a tight line, face pale. He studies Donghyuck with those wide, blackhole-like eyes and Donghyuck hates himself for wanting to apologize. Everything inside him burns and yearns and Donghyuck presses his hands to his eyes, sighing.

“I’m sorry,” Mark whispers. “I’m sorry. I just…I’m trying, Hyuck. I want you guys to meet. I do. But she—”

The door to the bathroom opens and a girl steps out. Donghyuck has to hand it to Mark. He picks the pretty ones. She’s somewhat dainty, with a heart-shaped face and percaline skin. She has her long, dark hair, pulled up into a hasty ponytail. Her dark eyes go to Mark first, and then to Donghyuck, widening just slightly. But none of those things matter because Donghyuck’s attention shoots to the over-sized t-shirt that barely makes it to mid-thigh and the very short shorts she’s wearing. Donghyuck isn’t an idiot. He knows what’s been happening. He just wishes he never had to witness it.

She steps closer to Mark as if it’s natural, as if the spot beside Mark is hers and always has been. “Mark? Who’s—”

“Donghyuck Lee,” he interrupts. Mark’s jaw locks. “Fire user.”

Her eyes round and she instinctively moves closer to Mark. “What’s he doing here?”

“Visiting,” he answers for Mark because, fuck it, he’s right here. She can ask him herself. “I’m putting on a fire show, want to see?”

Before he can do something he might regret, Mark shoots forward and grips his wrist, yanking him back and right into Mark’s side. The fingers on his skin are strong and tight and almost as scorching as the fire inside him.

“Do not,” Mark warns.

He turns his head. They’re close, noses almost brushing, and if he wasn’t so upset, he might be a bit embarrassed by it. Slowly, he takes his wrist out of Mark’s hold. “You spent all these years trying to convince me I wasn’t a monster. Then, teach your girlfriend I’m not a monster. Or don’t. I don’t fucking care anymore.”

“Hyuck—”

“Don’t.”

He doesn’t need to go around Mina, if only because she scurries away as he comes closer, dodging him by too far of a margin just so she can latch to Mark’s side. She really does look absolutely terrified and small. He wonders what she’s thinking, just how scared she is. He wonders if she thinks he’ll hurt her or maybe Mark.

When he makes it to the door, he glances back. “Oh, and, by the way, Mark. Get her out of my fucking shirt.”

The last thing he sees when the door slams shut is Mina looking down at herself and Mark flaring red.

*

Donghyuck’s not really sure where he’s going, but he sure as hell isn’t going back. He left the building with his fire raging in his chest and his fingers sparking. With every step, it seems to calm. Eventually, he’s going to have to head back for another pill. The bottle still sits on his bedside table.

Currently, though, he just wants to be as far away from Mark and his girlfriend as he can get. He keeps replaying the conversation over and over, desperate to know if maybe he overreacted. Maybe he should apologize. It’s not like Mark was in the wrong, completely. It’s not his fault that Mina is scared of him, but it’s his fault for letting this happen. Or maybe it’s just all Donghyuck’s fault.

He should have told Mark the truth. He should have—Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over. There are no more moves to play.

Lord, he dislikes Mina.

He was fine with Yeri. She was nice. It was impossible to dislike her. He mainly disliked her because he couldn't find a reason to, and by extension, disliked himself for even trying.

Mina is different. He doesn’t care if she’s the sweetest person to everyone else. It was her that decided to claim Donghyuck as something to fear before even meeting him. It reminds him of all the kids who whispered about him when he first transferred to Mark’s school. Letting rumors and speculation fill her with anxiety and terror. 

Faint music drifts down the street and into Donghyuck’s ears. His steps stutter as he stops to listen. Slowly, he follows it. The streetlights flick on as he makes his way down the sidewalk. The sky above him is tainted by gray as the clouds move in to block the moon and all the stars that will arrive soon.

In his pocket, his phone buzzes on and off, and on and off. He doesn’t bother to look at who’s trying to contact him as he spots what looks to be a house party. There are people in the front yard, laughing and fooling around. He’s pretty sure there’s a couple getting off in the bush. All the lights in the house are on and music filters through the walls, growing louder each time someone opens the door.

They all look his age, university students. He wonders how this party can last without cops showing up at the door. The rest of the street is abandoned and quiet, as if all the life has been claimed by this three-story house.

Taking a glance behind him, still finding the area empty of anyone he knows, he marches across the lawn and up to the front door. There are no questions asked. No one stops him, no one even looks at him. He takes that and drifts through the crowd. The music is loud, thrumming low in his ears and shaking his eardrums. Bodies are pressed to bodies, the place smelling of sweat and alcohol. It’s not pleasant. Even still, he surges through. He needs something as a distraction and this seems like the best place.

All the furniture in the living room has been shoved to the side, leaving a large enough space for a dance floor. He eyes the cluster of people. They move sporadically, jumping and grinding and too tipsy to control their limbs. In the kitchen, he finds a guy handing out drinks. Donghyuck manages to claim a beer and heads back to the doorway of the living room to observe.

Beer, he discovers, tastes awful. Absolutely horrendous. He shouldn’t even be drinking it. He’s not of age yet. However, he doubts the majority of these people are of age. And, as he finds out, over an hour into watching girls fumble around and boys run into walls and three beers later, his body apparently burns off the alcohol too quickly to make a difference. Well, at least he knows he can never get drunk enough to do something stupid.

Bored from watching, he sets down his third empty bottle and starts for the door. He almost makes it when someone grabs his elbow and pulls him to a stop. Donghyuck doesn’t know who this guy is and he doubts the guy knows who he is, but the guy smiles at him anyway—his eyes squinting until they aren’t even there—and asks him to dance.

Donghyuck almost says no. He should say no. Instead, he nods and lets the guy pull him into the middle of the crowd. Mark is back at the building, so are all his friends, and he’s still not sure he’s up to facing them. He had wanted a distraction and this gives him more time to try and forget everything.

Forget Mark.

Forget Mina.

Forget his feelings.

The guy’s body presses to Donghyuck’s back as they sway to the music. It’s impossible to think of anything else but the hands on his hips and the way everyone is too buzzed to care about anything else. He lets his head fall back so it’s resting on the guy’s shoulder and leans more into the arms that wrap around his waist, holding him close.

It reminds him of the dream he had, the one situated at the club. It may lack the colored lights and some familiar faces, but it still feels freeing and suffocating at the same time. The sense of familiarity sinks in. The difference being Donghyuck has a lot more sense to him this time. The smells, the million different sounds. He can hear girls talking to his left and the way a group of people are laughing in the distance. Somewhere people are chanting for someone to chug.

It feels so similar, but this isn’t his dream. This is real life. And it won’t end the way his dream did. With Mark’s hands on him, lips drifting against his skin. Donghyuck turns around so he can twine his arms around the guy’s neck. He begs himself to forget, to focus on the sturdy body against his, but he keeps seeing Mark behind his eyelids.

The hands on his hips slide down to his thighs and yank him forward. He lifts his eyes in surprise, not sure they can get much closer, and lips descend on his. It’s rushed and messy and Donghyuck struggles to find a rhythm. He can taste the alcohol on the guy’s tongue and feel the way his hands move even lower. Everything about it feels dirty and gritty, making out in the middle of a dance floor with the lights barely bright enough to make out anyone’s faces.

His heart hammers, whether it be from the dancing or the hands drifting across him until they find the skin beneath his shirt, he has no idea. Lips move across his jaw and Donghyuck grips at the guy’s shoulders, trying to keep his eyes wide open. Each time they close he sees black eyes and sharp cheekbones and—

The guy rips away with a gasp. He looks down at his hands with a furrowed brow. Before he can say anything, Donghyuck’s gaze falls on the guy’s shoulders, where small streams of smoke curl toward the ceiling. Donghyuck’s own hands are hot. Too hot. And very nearly on fire.

“What the hell?” the guy manages.

Donghyuck steps back once. Then, twice. And then he rushes from the crowd and out of the house. Fresh, cool air slaps against his face. He inhales as much of it as possible until his lungs burn just like the rest of his body. He stumbles down the front steps.

His phone buzzes when he makes it to the sidewalk. He takes it out with shaky fingers.

Twenty-seven missed calls and a fuck ton of messages from various people.

Well, at least he can say they care that much. Running his fingers through his hair, he glances back on the house. Somewhere inside there is a guy who just survived making out with a pyro and he doesn’t even know. Donghyuck’s not even sure what to think about it. Now that he’s out, he sort of regrets it. He’s never seriously kissed someone before. The first and last time was in a dream, which shouldn’t count as much as he thinks it does. It happened, however. He can still taste the alcohol on his tongue and feel the way his lips buzz.

Jaemin’s name pops up on screen and he takes pity on him to answer it. The first thing he gets is screaming in his ear, so loud he has to pull the phone away.

“Where the hell are you?”

Donghyuck sighs. “Out. I went out.”

“Is that music? Donghyuck, where did you go?”

“I’m fine. I’m coming back now. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait, Hyuck—”

He hangs up. His head is pounding. All he wants right now is his bed and wipe this whole night from his memories. He starts back toward home, even more lost than he was when he left.

*

He does have the curtesy to text Jaemin when he gets back to his apartment. Then, his phone ends up on the couch far from him because he doesn’t want to even look at the other messages, or hear the voicemails. He doesn’t want to know he worried so many people and for what? To randomly sneak into a part and make out with a stranger? He doubts his friends will take that as a good enough excuse.

He’s still trying to get off his shoes, his body not responding the way it usually would, when the door slams open. He jolts up as Mark storms over the threshold with his phone in his hand and his eyes flashing.

“What the fuck, Donghyuck? You left and didn’t answer your phone! I thought something happened to you!” he shouts, voice echoing off the walls.

Not sure what to say, he wiggles off his shoes, tosses them into the corner with all the rest, and straightens to face Mark head on. His lips still tingle and he knows he smells like a house party. His mind betrays him and decides right then to remind him of what happened a little less than an hour ago.

Mark has no idea. None at all. He stands there, silently fuming, his chest rising and falling as he just ran up five flights of stairs and bypassing the elevator just to get to him. Donghyuck wonders if he left Mina or if she’s finally gone for the night. His heart twinges thinking about it.

“How did you get in?” Donghyuck asks instead of all the other things he probably should have chosen.

“Jungwoo gave me a key in case there was an emergency,” Mark tells him. “You have one for our apartment, too.”

Donghyuck blinks. “I do? Where?”

“Hanging on the key hook by the door.” Donghyuck moves past him to check it out and, sure enough, there’s a single key hanging off the hook he never saw before. Mark continues, “But that’s not the point. The point is that you stormed out and then just completely disappeared—Why do you smell like beer? Are you drunk?”

Spinning to face him, Donghyuck says, “And if I was?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Where did you get alcohol?”

“There’s a party about a block away. You should go,” he says with a flip of his hand. Mark’s ears turn red and this time he knows it’s out of frustration. “Maybe ease you out a bit.”

“Hyuck—”

“What, Mark? I’m very tired and would like to sleep.”

Gritting his teeth, Mark shoves his phone into his pocket and moves closer. Donghyuck steps back and hits the wall. His action startles Mark because he’s never tried to get away, never retracted himself. But he doesn’t want Mark near him. Not while he’s so fucked up, not after what he did.

“I left because I was done talking,” Donghyuck explains, pushing himself off the wall and stepping around Mark so he can free himself from the small foyer. “I didn’t answer my phone because I was done talking. Mark, I’m _done talking_. Time to just move on.”

For a moment, Mark is quiet, his eyes scanning Donghyuck from top to bottom. His brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“I meant what I meant. This isn’t working. We’re struggling, Mark, and it isn’t fair to either of us to keep this up. You have Mina and I have—Well, I have other things to deal with. So, maybe you were right the entire time. Maybe we really do need to be separate.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Of course, I do. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

“You’re drunk.”

Donghyuck throws his head back and laughs. “God, I fucking wish! Turns out my powers keep my eternally sober. I’ll be the DD for the rest of my life.”

Licking his lips, Mark searches for words. His mouth tries to form sounds, but nothing coherent comes out. Then, he asks, “Are you doing this because of what happened earlier?”

“You know what? Yeah, I am,” he admits. “You chose to put your girlfriend’s fears—fears you told me to never let bother me because they meant nothing and, apparently, weren’t true—over me. For years, I’ve listened to you tell me to ignore it, that I’m not dangerous, not a monster, and you go ahead and let your girlfriend think that about me? Wow, Mark. Just wow.”

“I told you that I’ve been trying to convince her, but it takes time,” Mark argues.

Donghyuck scoffs. “The fact that you’re with someone like that in the first place is just boggling my mind. How long are you going to let her think that before you believe it’s a lost cause? Or are you just going to push me out? You told me you loved me, Mark, and that you were trying to get over it. Is this how you’re doing it? With fucking someone who pictures your best friend as a pyromaniac?”

“That’s not fair,” Mark snaps, “and you know it! I can’t control her fears, Donghyuck. You of all people know how long it takes to convince someone out of them. It took years before you even started to humor the idea that your parents’ death wasn’t your fault. Mina is going to take time.”

“Sure, yep, mhmm.” He nods, fire curling in his stomach and up to his chest.

Mark points at him. “I let you act like an asshole because I figured it was deserved for keeping Mina a secret, but you don’t have an excuse anymore. You can’t hold that over me. This is something else and you’re keeping it to yourself just like you do with everything else in your life. You don’t actually trust me, do you?”

“What the hell are you on about?”

“If you trusted me, you’d tell me why you’re actually so upset about me and Mina. You’d tell me why you’ve started to pull away from me.”

Donghyuck throws his hands up in the air. “I did that because I thought that’s what you wanted! You wanted time away from me, so I gave it to you. What more do you want from me?”

“The truth would be nice, Donghyuck. For once in your fucking life, could you at least be honest with me? Or tell me to my face that you don’t trust me enough to do that.”

The words hurt. It stings like tiny little papercuts across his heart and Donghyuck doesn’t know what to do. Standing in the middle of the living room, he feels like he’s backed into a corner. Mark is watching him with eyes so earnest that Donghyuck wants to tell him everything. Except, he can’t. Mark finding out Donghyuck’s actually in love with him, and has been for years, will just fuck everything up even farther.

Mark, who’s been trying so hard to move on. Mark, who thinks Donghyuck never liked him to begin with and was never once told otherwise. Mark, who has a girlfriend and likes her. Mark wouldn’t take it well and Donghyuck knows that, so he seals his lips closed and shakes his head.

“Of course,” Mark mutters, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. “I should have known. I should have realized that this was never going to work, but I was too smitten to care. You’ve never trusted anyone enough to open up. You’re too terrified to.”

Donghyuck presses his hands to his side, trying to stop himself from lighting up like a tiki torch. His emotions are so muddled that he can’t pick out one from the other. He’s upset because Mark really, truly believes Donghyuck doesn’t care about him, doesn’t trust him. He’s frustrated because he can’t come up with a better way to sooth those worries. He’s angry because he got himself in this situation in the first place and has absolutely no fucking right to be upset to begin with.

“You have no idea what I’m dealing with,” Donghyuck states, flat and low and sour.

“Because you won’t tell me! You won’t tell anyone! Jaemin, Renjun, Jeno. Hell, even Jisung and Chenle. None of them get what’s going on. I don’t get what’s going on! All I can do is stand here and blame myself because if I hadn’t said anything we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.”

“Oh, _please_ , Mark.”

“No, it’s true. You’ve given me no indication that this is anything but my fault. I’ve got no answers. None. You’re so fucking infuriating.”

“You think you’re any better! I’ve had to deal with your on-again-off-again attitude for years!” he shouts. “One moment we’re fine and the next moment you’re out the door, pretending I don’t fucking exist. Remember when you decided to keep everyone in your circle except me? No? Because I fucking do!”

“At least I was trying to sort things out!”

“By completely blowing me off!”

Mark’s fist hits the wall with a thud and Donghyuck flinches. The sound vibrates around them. Donghyuck kind of wants to punch something, too, but he has nothing close enough and his body would much rather set something on fire. Stupid, fucking, overdramatic powers.

“You agreed to taking time,” Mark breathes, trying to keep his voice down. It’s gravelly from too much yelling.

“You gave me no other choice. I didn’t want a break, Mark. I never asked for it. You just decided and then you went and got yourself a girlfriend.”

“Why is that so bad? Why are you so fixated on that?” Mark asks, looking at a loss instead of just angry. “Is this really because you aren’t getting my attention anymore? Are you jealous of her?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, his hands trembling. “Why would I be jealous?”

“How about you explain it to me? If you trust me at all, you’d just tell me the truth.”

“I can’t!” he shouts.

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I can’t.”

“You can and you know it.”

The urge in Donghyuck to let go is so strong. Fire bubbles below the surface, whispering to him to do it. Just do it. He trembles, trying to keep it in check, but Mark is pressing and pressing and Donghyuck keeps shoving it down, shoving it down. And when he meets Mark’s eyes, full of determination, Donghyuck screams.

The couch burst into flames. Mark is the one to act the fastest as Donghyuck simply scrambles back, horrified. In seconds, Mark is out of the kitchen with a small fire extinguisher. Once the fire is out, the couch ruined, they look at each other. Mark is panting, face flushed from all their yelling, and he looks like he wants to reach out, to hug Donghyuck.

Donghyuck steps back. “You should go.”

“Hyuck—”

“Please, Mark. Just leave. There’s nothing else to say. We’re done.”

Mark glances at the couch and then to Donghyuck. Slowly, he lowers the extinguisher to the floor. “You should just know, that I never meant for this to happen.”

“Mark—”

“That’s all. I guess I’ll see you around.”

He sinks to the floor when the door finally closes. There are no tears. Donghyuck’s done crying. All he wants to do is sleep. And maybe wish he could go back in time and fix everything.

*

Donghyuck feels like shit in the morning. He still has unanswered messages from everyone—even more from Jaemin after Mark returned back to his apartment after their fight. The memories of last night are still fresh in his mind. Mark’s voice rings in his ears. After everything, the only thing he’s managed to do is push Mark away and make him believe Donghyuck doesn’t trust him.

The whole reason he didn’t tell Mark about his feelings was to keep him safe. Unfortunately, he’s hurt Mark even without having to admit anything. It isn’t ideal and was never the plan he had thought about, but at least he can take comfort in the fact that Mark is safe. Even if it means having to push him away for good.

God, if he had been any less careful Mark would have been the one on fire. Donghyuck knows he’d never purposefully hurt Mark. He’d die before he did that. But it’s the random accidents that frighten him to the core. What if he had burned Mark last night? He’d never forgive himself.

Of course, he wishes he had never set anything on fire in the first place because Jungwoo’s expression when he sees the charred couch is full of disappointment. They make plans to lug it to the dumpster later today.

Tiredly, he makes his way to the bathroom. Last night, he had spent far too long brushing the alcohol and the taste of someone else out of his mouth. It had taken even longer to fall asleep, Mark’s face and his words replaying over and over. Not even the cold water of the shower can wash it away. It just leaves him dripping went and resigned.

When he finally makes his way back to his room, Jungwoo stops him in the hallway. “I have somewhere I need to be, but when I come back, I think we need to talk.”

Donghyuck doesn’t like the sound of that. Panic flares. “If this is about the couch, I swear I won’t ever do it again and—”

“Whoa, whoa,” Jungwoo takes his shoulders and smiles. “It’s not about the couch. Who cares about the couch? Needed a new one anyway. This is something else.”

“You aren’t, um, kicking me out, are you?”

Eyes flashing wide, Jungwoo looks sufficiently startled. His hands grip tighter on Donghyuck as he vehemently says, “No. Never. It’s something else, but I need to see someone first to do some things.”

Donghyuck’s shoulders relax and he blows out a sigh of relief.

“Before you totally relax, though, someone’s here to see you.” Donghyuck perks, eyebrows raised in curiosity. “I’ll be back tonight. And, please, keep your phone on you and answer it if I call. I don’t want a repeat of everyone’s freaking out of last night. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. See you soon.”

Jungwoo leaves the hallway and Donghyuck can hear the front door closing behind him as he heads back into his room to drop off his things. With trepidation, he wanders toward the living room, still shaking away the sleep that stubbornly clings to him and his hair dripping uncomfortably down the back of his shirt.

Sitting in the middle of the only good couch left, is Taeyong. His eyes snap to Donghyuck and he offers a small, hesitant smile. Donghyuck’s heart drops. Fucking hell, this can’t be good.

He wonders if Taeyong is here on his own accord, having probably listened into the fight from last night, or if Mark went to him and now he feels like he needs to step in. There was so much anger, so much frustration, there’s no doubt that Jaehyun also didn’t feel it through the floors of this building. It makes him feel a bit guilty because the last thing he wants to do is make things harder on someone else, but, then again, he’s been doing that for far too long.

“I’m not here for Mark,” Taeyong states. He has a mug of half-drunk coffee between his hands. “I’m here for you.”

Donghyuck tilts his head. “Me?” When Taeyong leans forward to place his mug on the coffee table, he takes the chance to ask, “Have you—Did you—How’s Mark?”

“Mark?” Stretching out his legs, almost lazily, Taeyong peers up at him. His expression tells nothing and that makes Donghyuck’s muscles tense. Talking with Taeyong always feels like walking on a tightrope. He knows everything and, yet, no one knows his own thoughts. It’s nerve-wracking. “Sad.”

“Sad,” he repeats, raising a brow.

“You thought he’d be angry?”

Donghyuck lets out a short, pitiful laugh. “He sure was last night.”

“He was,” Taeyong agrees. “For a moment. But only because he’s angry at himself. Not really you. He’s frustrated with you. I don’t blame him.”

Donghyuck winces. Mark has every right to be upset and frustrated and downright fucking angry. It isn’t like he wants him to be. Donghyuck would rather see Mark happy than upset, but he hasn’t given Mark a reason to be happy in such a long time.

“It’s interesting how it’s so much easier to be in love with someone, to want them to be happy and let them be with someone else when you know you’ll never have a chance,” Taeyong says, slowly. “Knowing you could get a chance, and are keeping yourself from taking that chance, makes it a lot harder, I think. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I thought you didn’t give people answers,” Donghyuck says as he moves to perch himself on the arm of the couch.

Taeyong lifts a shoulder in a delicate half-shrug. “I don’t. But I give advice. And you, my sunshine boy, need some advice. Whether you take it or not is entirely up to you.”

“So, what advice do you have for me?”

Holding up a finger, Taeyong says, “First, how are you?”

“Can’t you just find out?”

“I’d rather hear it from you.”

It’s hard to look at Taeyong. While it doesn’t make a difference—Taeyong’s going to hear his thoughts regardless—it makes him feel better. The less he looks at Taeyong, the more he feels like he can hide. Silly, but he’ll take anything to calm his nerves at this point.

“M’fine,” he mumbles, kicking his feet. When Taeyong continues to blatantly stare at him, he gives in. “Not good. Could be better. Just…so tired.”

Taeyong hums. “Stress does that to you. You know, I’ve done my best to keep my nose out of this. That is, until last night. I’m still not going to give you all the answers. That won’t help either of you. But I will tell you that what you’re doing, while admirable, is only going to cause more harm than good. You won’t ever feel comfortable with Mark dating. Not until he completely moves on from you. And when that time comes, your heart will break and you’ll live with regret for the rest of your life.”

“You think I should tell him.”

“It doesn’t matter what I think you should do. I do understand what you’re doing. I think, out of everyone, I understand it the most. Maybe Ten, as well.” The corner of Taeyong’s lips curls in a sad smile. “Donghyuck, you don’t deserve to be without happiness. You don’t deserve to be alone because of your fears.”

“Valid fears,” he counters.

Taeyong nods. “Yeah, they are valid. I don’t blame you for the fear and the hesitance, but Mark would work through that with you.”

“Mark also has no problem getting himself hurt for my sake and I won’t let him do that. That’s not fair to him.”

There’s a moment of silence as Taeyong grabs his mug and sips at the coffee inside. Donghyuck doesn’t like the wait. He knows Taeyong is picking and choosing his words. Words that will give away nothing. Because that’s what Taeyong is: careful. So very careful. And fucking cryptic. He sees Taeyong hide a smile behind his mug and he knows his thoughts were heard.

“What would you say,” Taeyong starts, “if I told you I know someone who could help you? Someone who could teach you how to control your powers? Would that change anything?”

“For who? For me or Mark? Because, I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but Mark and I can’t happen while he’s dating Mina. Well, it could, but polygamy isn’t my thing. Too many liabilities.”

“Depends on what matters to you. How about we just focus on the change for you, first, yeah?”

Donghyuck glances down at his hands. Hands that light fires so easily. Hands that have taken lives and burned down buildings. Hands that are bombs waiting to explode. There’s no way to delicately handle them. It’s a waiting game to see if he can hold it in or not.

He wonders if it’s worth it, the possibility of control. He’s never had that before. It sounds like a fantasy. A dream. Sure, there are pyrokinetics out there that have the control, but their powers aren’t like Donghyuck’s. Those are the fire users that need fire to bend. The fire is an outside source, not something that lives inside them like an unwanted parasite.

When Donghyuck found out he wasn’t a normal fire user, the doctor had told him he was rare. What are the chances of Taeyong finding another one just like him? Someone that lives and breathes fire until it becomes an unreplaceable part of them?

“He’s like me?”

“Very much so,” Taeyong replies. “When he was a kid, he was terrible. Kept lighting his hair on fire.” Donghyuck snorts because at least he doesn’t have to deal with that. “But he’s gotten better and I think you would benefit from meeting him.”

“Are you saying you can get me a firebending mentor?”

The grin he gets is wide, Taeyong’s eyes twinkling with mirth. “I’m saying I can get you a firebending mentor.” He puts the mug back down. Now empty. “But you have to promise me something.”

“What?”

Standing up, Taeyong brushes his pants off and digs into his pocket before pulling out a folded piece of paper. He holds it out for Donghyuck to take. “If you do this, you _do_ this. No giving up. No complaining. You want control? Get control, Donghyuck. I believe you can, but only if you try.”

Donghyuck turns the piece of paper over in his fingers. “Thank you, Taeyong.”

“You’re welcome.” Taeyong places a hand on his shoulder. “He’s expecting you for noon.”

Glancing at the clock, he notes that he has two hours. Taeyong’s already at the door. He lifts his hand in a wave and leaves. Well, Donghyuck better get ready. He’s got places to be and people to meet and powers to control.

*

Donghyuck wants to laugh, but it’s stuck in his throat. “What the actual fuck?”

The neon sign that reads ‘Black Pearl’ blinks at him. Whether it senses the hilarity of the situation or if it just needs some lights changed, it flickers in the noon lighting of the street. Donghyuck thinks it shouldn’t even be on right now, but maybe they turned it on. Just for him. Just so he couldn’t miss it.

There’s only been two times Donghyuck’s visited the Red-light District and both times weren’t exactly highlights of his life. The first time being when they discovered Jeno wrapped up in underground fighting and street gangs. When Jeno damn-near broke Jaemin’s heart by trying to keep him safe. The second time was when they came back to finish Jeno’s business with a local gang, once and for all. Donghyuck doesn’t remember much after the owners of the club showed up—right at the end of a fight that left Donghyuck drained from using his powers—all because he passed out on the sidewalk from overexertion.

So, yeah, not happy memories.

Now, he stands on a practically empty street, trying to figure out if this is all some kind of joke. Taeyong, of course, doesn’t really joke about these things. Then again, the Taeyong he knows wouldn’t send him back into the Red-light District. Well, unless he was desperate. Apparently, he really is that desperate.

He catches movement out of the corner of his eye and he looks to see a lady standing at the mouth of one of the alleyways. She keeps her eye on him, almost as if she’s deciding whether or not she wants to attempt to pick him up. Not giving her a choice, he bares his teeth and hisses. She wrinkles her nose and disappears into the alley.

Years ago, he did the same thing and Jaemin told him not to provoke the people. But Donghyuck would rather show he has bite than have them come up to him. And if they’re stupid, they’ll come up to him regardless of his disposition.

With a shake of his head, he moves to the front door and bangs his fist on it. If someone is really waiting for him, they should be listening carefully. At least, that’s what he thinks. A minute goes past and he hammers on the door again. There doesn’t seem to be a doorbell or anything and Taeyong never mentioned any other entrance, so he sticks with the front door.

He goes to bang again when there’s a creak of the hinges. He steps back to allow the person inside to open the door. Baekhyun doesn’t seem surprised. He seems expectant as he scans Donghyuck from the top of his head to the toes of his shoes. It’s odd, Donghyuck thinks, how infinitely not sparkly he is today. The oversized sweater he has on, which doesn’t look like it’s his at all, nearly swallows him whole. His jeans are acid-washed and his shoes bright orange. Even his hair, something Donghyuck’s only ever seen perfectly styled in some way, is wavy and fluffy. Donghyuck vaguely remembers seeing him like this once before, but it happens rarely that sometimes he forgets Baekhyun can look like an average guy.

Holding the door wide, he gestures for Donghyuck to come in. Together, they descend into the club’s main room. It’s still as dim and eerie as Donghyuck remembers it.

“Chanyeol’s just finishing up some paperwork and then he’ll be ready.”

“Am I early?” he asks, checking his phone. It’s past noon.

“No, he’s just slow.” Baekhyun glances toward the backroom door and then back to Donghyuck like he really doesn’t want to host. He doesn’t look like he was told to host. “Want something to drink?”

Donghyuck raises a brow. “Are you forgetting I’m underage?”

“I meant water, brat.”

The name makes Donghyuck laugh. “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

It’s quiet as Baekhyun takes out a glass and fills it with ice water, every movement practiced and perfected even when it’s not alcohol. Donghyuck takes the offered glass with a nod he hopes looks like another thanks.

Pulling out the stool from under the counter, Baekhyun takes a seat. Donghyuck eyes him warily from the customer side of the bar. “If you think I’m going to leave you alone in this place, you’re an idiot.”

Donghyuck holds up his hands in mock surrender. When he lowers them, he says, “Taeyong told me Chanyeol could help me.”

Baekhyun studies him again, like he’s searching for something. Like he can read into Donghyuck’s mind. It’s not a look he likes because the more people look, the better they get at discovering things he’s so anxious to keep hidden. 

“He can,” is what Baekhyun says, finally. “Only if you actually want it.”

“Taeyong said that, too.”

“Taeyong’s always been smart.”

Donghyuck spins his glass around and around. “How long have you known each other?”

“Years. He was twelve.”

That’s new information. Donghyuck clamps his mouth shut before he can ask. This isn’t a story that should be given without Taeyong’s permission and he knows it.

“He met Chanyeol when his powers were,” Baekhyun narrows his eyes just past Donghyuck’s shoulder in thought, “haywire, I guess?”

“I heard he used to set his hair on fire.”

Baekhyun snorts. It’s more of a positive reaction than Donghyuck’s ever seen on Baekhyun’s face, who’s usually savage and brooding or forcing a smile on for a show. “Fuck, yeah, he used to do that a lot. Used to set random things on fire, too. When he got excited. According to Taeyong, you’re not that much different.”

“Well, I don’t usually set my hair on fire. In fact, don’t think I ever have,” Donghyuck says, taking a sip. “And my fires aren’t small. They—”

“Explode? Yeah, I remember having to replace my ropes because of you. Chanyeol was impressed, though. I think he knew before everyone else that you guys had something in common. It’s rare to have fire users who live with their fire instead of simply controlling an outside source. And two in one city? What are the odds?”

“Slim.”

“Look,” Baekhyun leans back and taps his fingers along the counter, “if anyone can understand you, it’s Chanyeol. He’s had ups and downs because of this, too, and he’s learned to get a handle on it. You want to know control? Chanyeol is your best hope.”

There’s a sparkle in Baekhyun’s eyes whenever he mentions Chanyeol’s name and his tone lights a little. Donghyuck knows those signs. They’re telltale.

“You two are together?” Donghyuck ventures.

Baekhyun purses his lips and glances at the backdoor that remains unmoving. “Doesn’t matter if we are or not. I trust him, and I know he can show you how to do this.”

Before Donghyuck can reply, the backdoor opens and Chanyeol steps out. His black hair stands up every-which-way and he’s dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans. Just an every day Saturday for them, Donghyuck supposes. Well, until they open at six.

Chanyeol offers Donghyuck a smile. “Hey, sorry for the wait. Needed to finish the books.”

“Wouldn’t have needed to if you hadn’t left them to the last minute,” Baekhyun mumbles. “Again.”

Walking around behind the bar to get a glass, Chanyeol places a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder, who leans into it too naturally to know what he’s doing.

After Chanyeol has his own glass of water, he turns to Donghyuck and says, “So, you all set?”

“I guess? What do I need to do?”

He fiddles with his fingers, suddenly feeling somewhat nervous. Donghyuck never had a problem meeting new people. He’s more than willing to shove himself into positions and crack the awkwardness. But these people are something totally different for him. Adults who aren’t quite strangers and definitely not friends. People Taeyong trusts, but Donghyuck is still trying to figure out. Not to mention, he’s not sure if he can do this. He’s very much aware that he could fail this, and fail it hard.

“First thing’s first,” Chanyeol says, taking the stool Baekhyun’s left so that he can wander into the backroom and leave them both alone, “tell me why you think you’re here.”

Donghyuck frowns. “To learn control?”

“Is that it? Because you can learn that on your own. Slowly, of course, but you can. That’s what I had to do. Took me years to get a handle on it.” Chanyeol puts out his hands and in a flash of light, fire jumps in a stream from one palm to the other before disappearing completely. “So, why are you here?”

Biting his lip, Donghyuck takes in Chanyeol’s golden eyes. Eyes that used to be a chocolate brown. Eyes that turn just like Donghyuck’s when his power is curling along the surface. Donghyuck wonders if his swirl like molten lava like Chanyeol’s do. Are they beautiful like that or are they nothing but a horror?

The quiet of the room settles on his shoulders as Chanyeol waits for an answer. Donghyuck’s not sure what to say. All he knows is that he doesn’t want to be scared anymore. He doesn’t want to fear himself or frighten others.

“I don’t want to hurt people,” Donghyuck manages, throat dry.

Chanyeol hums, face soft with understanding. “Because you have before? Or because you don’t want to do it in the future?”

“Both.”

“Can I be honest with you?” When Donghyuck nods, Chanyeol continues, “You seem like the kind of person that doesn’t like to be vulnerable. Am I hot or cold?”

Gripping at his glass, he says, “Scolding.”

“And if you start to feel overwhelmed and your powers start rising, what’s your response?”

“Push it down. Gain control.”

The smile that spreads on Chanyeol’s face feels like it’s pitying Donghyuck and he bristles a bit, fire flaring inside his chest.

“Having a power so flashy and volatile like ours can really mess you up,” he says, taking Donghyuck’s empty glass and filling it again. “Accidents are so easy with pyrokinesis. You get excited and something is on fire. You get angry and something is on fire. But only if you let _it_ control _you_. Because, believe it or not, it’s not about controlling your emotions and pushing them down. It’s about letting go of them and allowing yourself to be vulnerable.”

Donghyuck’s brows furrow. “Every time I do, it blows up in my face. Literally. I set a couch on fire yesterday night because I was angry.”

“You’ve spent so much time suppressing everything to the point that one slip means a firestorm. If you can’t accept your emotions and let them run free, you’ll find you have more control. And, in order to do that, we’ve got to dig a little deeper.” Linking his fingers together on the counter, he leans forward and says, “Tell me about your family.”

Okay, he’ll bite. “I have a great cousin, a sorry excuse of an uncle, and an even bigger sorry excuse for an aunt.”

“I meant your parents.” Donghyuck tenses. “What were they like? You must remember them. You were about—what?—ten or eleven when you lost them?”

“You looked into me.”

“I did. Had to know what I was getting myself into.”

Donghyuck drinks his water, eyes downturned. He doesn’t like talking about his parents. Not only because it makes him sad and angry and guilty, but because it’s so hard to come out of the memories once they start playing. And people stand there, watching him, with pity in their eyes and useless words on their tongues.

“I was five when I burnt my house down because of a tantrum,” Chanyeol says, breaking Donghyuck from his thoughts. “Lost my cat. Well, I mean, she ran away. She didn’t die. But my father—The ceiling fell on him on his way to get me. He ended up paraplegic.”

“Does he blame you?”

Because Donghyuck’s family did. All of them except Jungwoo. They turned him away and cursed behind his back. He was a kid, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew what they said about him.

“No. He knows I didn’t have control over it. I was five. What child knows how to control their powers? Things happen. And, I’m sure, if your parents could still talk to you, they’d tell you it wasn’t your fault either.”

“Mark says that,” he mumbles. “That it wasn’t my fault.”

Chanyeol tilts his head. “Who’s Mark?”

Now, that’s a good question. Donghyuck has lots of answers for that. Mark is his best friend, his long-time crush, the love of his life, his other half, his soulmate. Mark is the person Donghyuck trusts the most in the world. The person he doesn’t want to hurt at all costs. Mark is everything to him.

There’s a flicker in Chanyeol’s eyes and he smiles. “Ah, I see.”

Donghyuck doesn’t ask what he sees because he knows. And, at this point, he doesn’t even care.

“You know, I set Baekhyun on fire once.”

The easy-going conversational tone throws Donghyuck off and he has to blink, reregistering the words. “I’m sorry?”

“Not on purpose, mind you. We were fighting, at each other’s throats, and I set his legs on fire. Not my finest moment. Definitely not his because after it was out, he was wailing on me. Nearly broke my jaw.”

“And how—What—” He points to the backroom door, eyes wide and words swirling his head. “You two are together?”

Chanyeol lets out a boisterous laugh that echoes around the room. “We were really young. Before I knew anything at all about control. I think we might have been fourteen or fifteen. It was around that time I realized I was in love with him. Kept trying to pretend it wasn’t there. But each time I remembered, it was like setting off a volcano in me. I’d get so angry and shove it all down because I thought that was what I needed to do. Wasn’t until he confronted me and I was honest that things settled.”

“But how? Aren’t emotions what cause all of this to happen in the first place,” he asks while lighting his pointer finger on fire.

“Yes, and no. Think of it like this: you’ve got a river and you build a dam to keep the water in one place, but the more rain you get the higher that water gets. It doesn’t matter if you keep that dam in place because, sooner or later, that water is going to crash right over top of it, in the end.”

“A water analogy for fire users. Interesting choice.”

“Don’t be a brat,” Chanyeol says, but he’s smiling anyway. “The point is, you keep thinking your fire and your emotions are separate things. They aren’t. You have a dam, your control, but if you don’t let your emotions breathe and flow, you lash out. And your fire lashes out with you.”

“The dam breaks.”

“Exactly. So!” Chanyeol stands and rounds the bar, beckoning Donghyuck to follow him over to one of the booths. It’s only when they’re comfortable, seated on their side of the table, Donghyuck notices Chanyeol has something in his hand. He places it in the middle of the table. A candle. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to talk to me, tell me all about your life. From the moment you remember to this moment right now. And when you start to get overwhelmed with emotion, you’re going to light this candle.”

“You’re going to be my therapist?” Donghyuck asks with a raised brow.

Chanyeol frowns. “Do you want to learn control or not?” Donghyuck presses his lips together. “That’s what I thought. We need to get you used to feeling things again. No shoving it down, no denying. Just pure emotion. Got it?”

Sighing, Donghyuck drags the candle closer and says, “This is going to take forever.”

“Well,” Chanyeol grins, all his teeth on display, “we better get started then.”

*

Talking to Chanyeol turns out to be a lot more therapeutic than he thought. He still doesn’t completely trust the guy. But he knows Taeyong does, and he promised to at least listen to Chanyeol, so he does as he’s told and talks. And talks. Chanyeol listens for the most part, only interjecting when he knows Donghyuck is holding back. It helps a little that Chanyeol doesn’t know most of the people Donghyuck talks about, so he knows that none of this will come back to them.

Baekhyun comes out a few times to check on them—“Making sure you haven’t blown up the place and left me to burn”—and pass comments. Mostly, Chanyeol ignores him. Donghyuck likes to tease, so he tosses comments right back and Baekhyun walks away with a huff each time.

“I think he likes you,” Chanyeol says after Baekhyun disappears from view again.

Donghyuck raises a brow. “I don’t know if I should be happy about that or not.”

It’s hard after so many years of keeping his own emotions hidden to be so outspoken about them. He doesn’t like it and Chanyeol keeps reminding him and all that does is make him angry. In the beginning, anyway. After a while, it gets easier. Donghyuck watches the flame in the candle growing and shrinking with each falling and rising emotion he’s riddled with.

He makes it to the age of fourteen, when he found out his aunt wanted to send him back into the system and he ends up burning the framework of his old house down. The moment Mark jumped through Donghyuck’s own fire to get to him, not caring how burned he would get in the process. The moment Donghyuck realized that loving Mark, and allowing Mark to love him back, would end in pain.

Chanyeol nods at him in understanding because he knows. He knows what it’s like. And Donghyuck likes that, having someone who’s been through the same things as him. It’s something he never thought he’d find.

Unfortunately, Baekhyun comes back into the room, dressed in a sequin suit that glistens in the yellow lights and kohl-lined eyes and styled hair. Placing his hands on his hips, he says, “Sorry to cut this short, but we have a job to do. Brat has to go.”

Donghyuck waves a hand over the candle, effectively wiping out the flame, and stands. “I should probably go anyway. My cousin wanted to talk.”

“Well, if you’re up for it, come back tomorrow. Same time. We can continue where we left off,” Chanyeol tells him.

After agreeing, he sees himself out. He takes the bus back to the apartment and by the time he arrives it’s getting close to five. He wonders if Jungwoo is back yet or if he’ll have to wait out the anticipation of what’s to come.

Lucas is singing at the top of his lungs when Donghyuck returns home. At least he’s on key, Donghyuck thinks as he takes off his shoes. Jungwoo must have heard the door because he comes wandering down the hallway, file folder pressed to his chest. He doesn’t smile like he normally would and it peaks Donghyuck’s interest and worry.

“Taeyong told me where you were,” he says. “Next time, text me when you get there and when you’re on your way back. I don’t like that section of town.”

Donghyuck nods. “Will do. So, um, what did you want to talk about?”

With hesitant steps, Jungwoo goes to the dining table and sits down, putting down the folder in the middle. He gestures to the chair opposite him and Donghyuck takes the spot. He can tell Jungwoo is nervous. His hands don’t know what to do, fingers flexing and flittering around the table, gripping and releasing the edge of the surface. Licking his lips, he pushes the folder closer to Donghyuck.

With a frown, he takes it and flips it open. Inside are documents. Pretty official ones, judging by the signatures and stamps. It isn’t until he’s flipping through the pages that he notices the numbers. Bank statements and accounts. He doesn’t know what any of them mean, so he looks to Jungwoo for an explanation.

Jungwoo, however, looks pale as the paper between Donghyuck’s fingertips. He worries his lower lip until it’s swollen and red. With red eyes, he shakes his head and says, “I’m so sorry, Donghyuck.”

Thoroughly confused, Donghyuck takes another look at the papers. He reads them over, but his brain doesn’t want to process any of it. He spots the words ‘trustee’ and ‘beneficiary’.

“What does this all mean?” he asks, quietly. He lifts his eyes when Jungwoo doesn’t reply. “Jungwoo, what is this?”

“It’s a file.” His voice cracks. “Proving my mother has been stealing from your trust fund.”

Donghyuck’s blood runs cold. “I’m sorry, what?”

Shifting on his chair, Jungwoo says, “I got curious. I wondered why you never received anything after your parents died. It didn’t make sense. So, I checked it out. You have a trust fund, Hyuck. A pretty large one at that. You should have gotten your house property and everything left over and all of your parents’ money. It was put into a fund because you were too young, but once you hit eighteen, it became open to you. Only, you weren’t told. Mum was the trustee. She was supposed to keep it for you until you were ready and—”

“She’s been stealing it. Under my name,” he concludes, eyeing all the costs and deposits. He’s not sure if he should be disappointed or angry. “How much is left? Is any of it left?”

“A bit. Not as much as there was. I don’t think she expected you to really come looking for it. And you didn’t.”

“I just thought it was left to your mom,” he admits. “I didn’t think it would go to me. I didn’t think...” He leans back in his seat, mind spinning, and stares at the file. “What do I do? How do I—what do I do?”

“That’s what I asked, too,” Jungwoo says, taking the folder and closing it. Almost like he can’t face the truth printed on the pages. “I went to Taeil. His boss is letting him take the case pro bono. You wouldn’t have to pay much at all. He’s willing to help you fight this. We can get you the money back.”

“But what about your mom? What happens to her?”

“That,” Jungwoo runs his fingers through his hair, “is something I’ve been trying to deal with. She doesn’t know I know yet. Or that I told you. She’ll have to pay the money back. And, if Taeil wins—and he will—she’ll go to jail.”

Donghyuck tenses, eyes flitting around Jungwoo’s ashen-toned face. Jungwoo doesn’t look at him. Instead, he studies the folder as if it’s a death sentence.

“I can’t do that to you,” he says, moving forward to take the folder out of view before Jungwoo throws up, but Jungwoo snatches it back. “I can’t put her in jail, Jungwoo.”

“Yes, you can. She messed up, Hyuck. It’s time for her to face the consequences.”

“You don’t really want her in jail, do you?”

Jungwoo shakes his head. “Of course not. But there isn’t anything we can do about it. It was— _is_ —your money, Hyuck. You need that back. I’m not going to rest until you get it back.”

“Maybe we can talk to her and get it back without a case. Keep it quiet?”

“She won’t do that. You know she won’t,” argues Jungwoo. “No, we’re going to do this the way we need to. I’m just sorry I didn’t catch it in time. I’m so sorry, Duckie.”

“This isn’t your fault,” he insists. “I don’t blame you. If anyone is to blame it’s your mom. But I don’t know…I don’t know if I can put her in jail. Can I at least think about it?”

Jungwoo clicks his tongue. “Fine. You have until tomorrow. Then we need to proceed. Deal?”

Agreeing feels like the biggest pressure Donghyuck’s ever faced. He watches as Jungwoo takes the folder and goes into his room where Lucas is still belting out some song in Cantonese. He doesn’t understand how Jungwoo can easily turn on his mom like this. Sure, Donghyuck wants the money back. It’s his, just like Jungwoo said. But can he punish someone like that?

It takes some time before he can get his legs to work and have them carry him back to his room. He wants to call Mark, tell him everything. Except, he can’t. They aren’t really on talking terms and Donghyuck doesn’t even know if Mark would care at this point. What could Mark do anyway? 

Crawling into his bed, he wonders if anything ever really gets easier, better, or if he’s going to have to continue to dig himself out of trouble for the rest of his life. Maybe, just maybe, he’s not meant to live happily ever after. Maybe he’s just meant to struggle and struggle until there’s nothing left to struggle for.

*

“You aren’t focusing,” Chanyeol says. “Where do you keep going?”

Donghyuck tears his eyes away from the flaming candle between them, the light burned into his vision. “Sorry,” he mutters. “I’m fine. I’m back.”

Chanyeol rests his elbows on the table, staring him down. “This isn’t going to work if you can’t focus.”

“I’m trying.”

“No, you’re in your head. What’s going on in there?”

Sighing, Donghyuck looks away. Shadows play along the walls from the minimal light. The space is so wide and empty, and Donghyuck’s seen it full of people, but sometimes he forgets what it can be like when it isn’t dark and eerie.

“My cousin told me I have a trust fund,” he says.

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

“My aunt’s been stealing from it.”

Chanyeol blows out a long breath and straightens. “Wow. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I have no idea. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Nothing makes sense and everything is falling apart and I have no fucking idea what I’m doing. I hate this. I fucking hate this!”

He swipes his hand at the candle and it goes flying. Chanyeol snuffles out he flame before it can hit the floor. And it does. Hit the floor, that is. With a thud and then rolls off into the darkness. Someone’s going to have to get that, but no one moves.

Fire squeezes his insides and he presses it down. He presses down so hard it hurts. A hand is suddenly on his arm and he glances over to see Chanyeol reaching over, eyes alight.

“Don’t. Don’t undo what we did in the time we had. You’re supposed to let it go.”

“How?” He yanks his arm back. “If I do, I’m going to burn this place to the ground. I know it and you know it and everyone fucking knows it.”

“Control it, Donghyuck.”

“I can’t!”

“Can’t or don’t want to?” Chanyeol asks, tone even as he sits back down. Donghyuck hates how he doesn’t get angry. “Every time you try to shove it away, it gets worse. You need to face these things head on. Accept yourself and your feelings.”

“Easy for you to say,” he grunts. “You don’t have an aunt stealing from you and a fucked-up relationship with your best friend.”

Chanyeol lifts his chin to look down his nose. Usually, Donghyuck would call that move pretentious and bristle over it because he hates being looked down on. But when Chanyeol does, it only says that he wants Donghyuck to listen. So, he does.

“I’ve been where you are right now. Maybe not exactly, but I’ve felt what you’ve felt for other situations. If you really want control and to make sure you don’t hurt anything, you need to open up. Talk to your aunt. Talk to Mark. Let those feelings out and you’ll realize just how weightless you feel afterward.”

“I can’t do that. I can’t. Mark—”

“Would understand. Maybe he continues to date this Mina girl. Maybe he doesn’t. But this isn’t about him. This is about you and finding your own self. Sometimes, Donghyuck, you have to be selfish in order to live healthy.”

Donghyuck coughs a laugh. It’s rough and humorless. “Everything is about Mark for me. I can’t breathe without him.”

“Tell him that. I think he’d like that.” Scratching his chin, he adds, “I also think you should confront your aunt.”

“Jungwoo doesn’t want me to.”

“Well, what do _you_ want to do?”

If that were an easy answer, he’d know. “I wanted to talk to her. Settle it without making a big deal about it.”

“Then try. Why not?”

“We don’t exactly get along. I doubt she’d want to see me.”

“You won’t know until you try, right? Look, I won’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you what might make this better for you. If you’re serious about all of this,” he waves his hands around and then points at the candle that’s rolled off without them, “then you need to start listening and actually doing. No more wallowing, no more self-pity, not more denial. You want to control your fire? Teach it who’s boss. So, decide.” He slides out from the booth. “We’re done for today. We can try again tomorrow if you’re free.”

“I have class,” Donghyuck says, watching as Chanyeol walks into the shadows and picks up the candle. “I’m free Tuesday, though.”

“Tuesday it is. You know where the door is.” He’s almost made it to the backroom door before he turns and smiles. “You have so much potential, Donghyuck. Don’t ruin it. Good luck.”

When he disappears, Donghyuck collapses in the booth, slouching down as far as he can go. Chanyeol is right. Things won’t get better until he faces the issues at hand, the ones that keep knocking at his door and beg for his attention. It’s just more difficult than he thought.

For years, he kept things quiet and acted like he was okay, that everything was okay. They say bad habits die hard and, _boy_ , do they ever. It’s going to take more than two mentoring sessions to get that nailed into his head.

There may come a day he can do all that’s expected of him. Today just isn’t that day. Donghyuck can’t be perfect with a snap of the fingers. Screw all that potential people keep telling he has. He may have it, but he doesn’t know how to access it. Not with the way things are. He’s not even sure if he wants to anymore.

Tiredly, he leaves the club. The warm air of summer settles into his skin. He can still feel himself burning, though it’s tolerable. If he can’t learn control, will he burn up? Will his fire consume him until there’s nothing left and he can’t hurt anyone anymore?

He’s still wondering when he arrives back at the apartment.

_“If you’re serious about all this, then you need to start listening and actually doing.”_

Chanyeol’s voice is so clear in his ears that he stops in the foyer, halfway through the process of taking off his shoes. Donghyuck likes to think he does a lot of things. He supposes he could be better. Especially when it comes to himself. Thinking back at it, he tries to think of a time he’s actually taken his life in his own hands instead of life taking him in its.

He’s spent so much time letting his fire control his decisions. He doesn’t keep people close because of his fire. He won’t let himself have Mark because of his fire. His aunt is stealing from him because of his fire and what it did without his choice.

Shoes still on, he marches to Jungwoo and Lucas’ room and bangs on the door. Lucas opens the door. Jungwoo doesn’t seem to be home.

“Hey, dude, what do you—”

Donghyuck shoves himself through. “Where is it, Lucas? The folder with the trust fund information?”

“Um, why?”

“Because I need it.” He walks over to their desk and starts going through the papers there. “Do you know where he put it? He didn’t take it with him, did he?”

Lucas shuffles by the door, rubbing at the nape of his neck and looking extremely conflicted. “He left it, but I don’t think he wants you to have it. Maybe you can call him and ask?”

“I can’t. Listen, I need that file, Lucas. Please. I’ll bring it back, I promise, but I need it. Now.”

“Jungwoo is going to kill me,” he mutters as he goes over to the dresser, opens the third draw, and pulls out the file. Donghyuck seizes it from him.

“Thanks. We just won’t tell him,” Donghyuck says.

Lucas tilts his head. “What do you need it for?”

“I need to show it to someone. I also need one more thing from you.”

“What?”

Donghyuck holds out his hands. “The keys to your truck.”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’m not giving you those.”

“Why not?”

“Because Shirley is precious and you barely know how to drive.”

Jaw dropping, Donghyuck says, “Excuse you? I know how to drive. I just don’t like it. I’ll have your baby back in an hour.”

The words that come out of Lucas’ mouth are unintelligible as he walks over to his jacket in the corner and digs out his keys with a scowl. They almost touch Donghyuck’s palm before Lucas yanks them back. “One scratch, Donghyuck, and I swear—”

“Yeah, yeah.” He takes the keys before Lucas can hide them. “She’ll be back in one piece. See you soon.”

He makes it to the door before Lucas calls out, “Wait. Hyuck, what you’re doing…Should you be doing it?”

There’s a beat as he thinks about it, holding the folder closer to his side. “Probably not. But I need to. Back soon.”

He runs to Lucas’ truck and climbs into the driver’s seat. It’s so much bigger than anything he’s driven before, so he’s careful as he directs it out onto the street. Lucas isn’t lying. If Donghyuck ruins his truck, he’ll be dead come tomorrow morning. And he can’t have that because there’s so many things he needs to do. So many things to fix.

When he gets to his destination, he puts the truck into park on the road, grabs the file, and jumps out. He marches up the driveway to the front door and slams his hand into the doorbell. His heart is beating so fast that he’s pretty sure he can hear it. Still, he stays. He waits.

The door swings open and he comes face to face with his aunt. She has the decency to look surprised by his visit, and she should. She probably didn’t expect him to ever come back. He sure as hell never wanted to, yet here he is.

But the surprise melts off into a glare. Something that does nothing for her. Donghyuck stands his ground, folder gripped in his hand until his knuckles turn white.

“What are you doing here?” she snaps.

He shoves the folder into her chest. Luckily, she catches it before it falls. Still frowning, she flips it open. Donghyuck watches as the blood drains from her face.

“Ah, so you know what this is,” he says, pushing past her to stand in the middle of the foyer. “At least that means we can get to the point.” She looks up at him. “You stole from me.”

He thinks she might yell. She isn’t above yelling. She did it a lot when Jungwoo wasn’t around. Calling him a monster, calling him useless, calling him anything she could think of whether he was in the room or not. The only thing she ever wanted was for him to listen to it. And he did. But he’s not going to anymore.

Instead, she closes the folder, squares her shoulders, and says, “I only took what should have been mine.”

“They were _my_ parents,” he spits. “ _My_ mom. _My_ dad. _My life_. That money is mine and I want it back.”

“You can’t have it back. It’s gone. We used it to rebuild the house and anything left over is going to help Jungwoo get through university.”

Donghyuck stalks forward and is almost pleased when she flinches back. Grabbing the folder from her hand, he waves it in her face. “This proves that my parents left me everything. Sure, you got a few thousand because my mother loved you, but she sure wouldn’t love you if she knew you did this.”

The slap comes before he can register it. His cheek stings and his aunt’s hand is still in the air. The shine in her eye is pure, unaltered rage. She seethes as he turns his head to look back at her, fire rising. He wonders if she could feel the heat on her hand, for that split second.

“You don’t get to come in here and tell me what my sister would have thought,” she says through gritted teeth. “She was my sister.”

“She was _my_ mom!”

“Liu Wen, what’s going on?” Donghyuck’s uncle rounds the corner. Like his wife, he stuns upon seeing Donghyuck from the other end of the hallway. Then he’s frowning so deeply that Donghyuck thinks it might stick. “What the hell are you doing here? Get away from her.”

“I’m not leaving until your wife gives me back my fucking money.”

“I said get away!”

Donghyuck throws out his hand, light with fire. His uncle stutters mid-step. “And I said, I’m not leaving.” Glancing back on his aunt, he sees the fear in her eyes. She thinks she’s going to die. It should hurt, but he’s learned not to care what they think. While he doesn’t plan on harming either of them, that doesn’t mean they need to know that. “I want my money. And then I’m gone. Out of your life for good.”

“You aren’t getting anything from me,” his aunt says, voice shaky, but eyes hard and dark. “I’m not giving you anything.”

Even though the fire in his hand dies, it still roars inside him. “Pity,” he says. “I guess I’ll just see you in court then.”

His aunt laughs. “You can’t afford court.”

“You sure about that?” He smiles when worry flickers over her face, eyebrows tilting upward and mouth popping open. “I’d say have a nice day, but I don’t really care.”

His heart is still hammering in his chest when he slams the door closed behind him and heads back to the truck. Part of him knew she would never give him anything back. His aunt has never been that kind of person to him. She doesn’t care about him and never will. Still, he gave it a shot and gave her a chance. If she doesn’t take it, he has no choice. He’s not going to let her do this to him. He’s going to take what’s his and he’s going to prove all the people who saw potential in him right.

*

Donghyuck doesn’t expect all the people inside his living room when he comes back. Yet here they are. He freezes at the door when he spots Jungwoo, arms crossed and brows furrowed. There’s no way to hide the file. It’s too big and he’s already seen it.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Jungwoo demands. “And why do you have that?”

Lucas ducks his head before he can get in trouble.

“I was with Chanyeol. Then, I went to visit your dear old mother. Still as bitchy as ever,” he says as he moves farther into the room.

Jaemin is there. So is Renjun, and Jeno, Chenle, and Jisung. Jungwoo takes the folder away from him and looks him over. His eyes skitter across Donghyuck’s face before tilting it to the side using Donghyuck’s chin.

“What happened?”

“She hit me,” he admits. Jaemin sucks in a breath. “Told me she wouldn’t give me the money back.”

Jungwoo looks furious. His face is red, his eyes murderous. The folder crinkles in his hold. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I just wanted to give her a chance to give it back without going to court. I don’t want to put your mother in jail, Jungwoo. She’s your mom!”

“She hit you! She’s no mother of mine,” snaps Jungwoo as he tosses the folder on the table. “For fuck’s sake, Donghyuck, start thinking about yourself.”

Eyeing his friends, Donghyuck asks, “Is that what this is about? Is this the intervention I was warned about? Can’t people just leave me alone?”

“We’re trying to help,” Jaemin says.

“No, you’re trying to meddle. I don’t want help. I want to be able to breathe without someone constantly coming at me with accusations.”

“You mean the truth?” Renjun puts in.

“I don’t know what else you can say at this point,” Donghyuck says. “All you do is rehash the same thing. It has to be exhausting.”

“It is because you won’t listen to us.”

Donghyuck throws his hands up, fire flaring in his chest. “Maybe I’m not listening because the words you’re saying are bullshit.”

“They aren’t and you know it, Donghyuck Lee,” Jaemin states, eyebrows drawing together. “Are you still going to stand there and lie to us? Lie to yourself? You’re not okay, Donghyuck. You haven’t been okay in a long time.”

“Oh, wow,” he laughs, bitterly, “I feel so loved right now.”

“Can you just sit down and listen to us, for once?”

“And what are you going to say, huh? That I don’t listen? Done that. That I don’t open up enough? Done that. That I need to admit I’m in love with Mark? Oh, definitely overdone that. What else is there to say?”

“Donghyuck—”

“No, Jaemin,” he interrupts as harshly as he can because if he doesn’t, he’ll get talked over. “I’m over this. Take my words and believe them or not. I don’t care. But listen to me for once.”

Renjun flips his phone in his hand, narrowed eyes directed at Donghyuck. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything, then he speaks up. “We know about your fight with Mark. He came back really upset.”

That’s not surprising. He was upset when he left Donghyuck alone to his own pity party. He just didn’t expect Mark to talk about it to the others. Usually, those things stay between the two of them.

Surprisingly, it’s Jeno that starts to talk. “Mark still loves you, Hyuck.”

“Right, because that’s why he’s with Mina and picking her over me. Sure, yep. Valid.”

“Can you stop being an asshole for just one second?” Jaemin snaps.

Donghyuck spins on him, fingers itching to burn. “Can you stop digging your nose in my business? Mark and I fought. And it’s over. We aren’t doing this anymore.”

“You don’t really want that.”

“It doesn’t matter! Mark chose Mina. He can have her. I have other issues I need to deal with.”

He feels hot. So very hot.

“You need to tell him,” presses Chenle, eyes wide with a silent plea. A plea to make this all better. “You have to tell him the truth.”

“Tell him what, exactly?”

Jaemin jumps up from the couch and screams, “That you love him! This can all be fixed if you just talk to him and tell him that!”

“I don’t want to!”

Everyone stills. The heat in unbearable as it courses through his body like blood. He gasps for air because it’s like his lungs won’t take anymore in. Vision swimming, he squeezes his eyes shut and reaches out for something to hold onto. Hands are on him in seconds and he wants to tell them not to touch him. They’ll get hurt.

“I can’t,” he breathes, eyes falling shut. “I can’t tell him.”

“Why? Hyuck, what’s going on? Talk to me.”

It’s Jaemin. He’s right at Donghyuck’s side, holding him upright.

“Hyuck? Duckie?” That’s Jungwoo. He sounds so worried.

Donghyuck shakes his head, trying to clear the fogginess away. Then pain shoots through him. Hot, searing pain and he screams. It’s torn from his throat, ripping up through his body. The hands are suddenly off him and his legs collapse.

Even through the pain-filled haze, he whispers, “He can’t know. He can’t know I love him. You can’t tell him. You can’t—”

Fire lashes out at him, forcing itself through his pores. It burns. It hurts. It’s more pain than he’s ever known in his life and he wants to cry, but he’s so hot they steam off his skin before they can even fall. His eyes flash open and the only thing he can see is gold. The only thing he can hear is his own blood pounding in his ears.

And then everything goes black.


	3. Glass to the Arson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad that this is half the size of the last chapter and yet it took almost a week and a half to come out. I ended up having a few days where I'd write a bit and then I just needed a mental break...Oh well, it's here now!  
> This is kind of the climax of the whole story, while the next (and final) part will be an epilogue of sorts? Everything will get all tied up with a nice big bow in the forth part! I'm expecting it to take me about a week to get out, but I don't want to hold that promise just in case I end up going through those mental crash days again. 
> 
> I just want to thank each and every one of you who's read this/gave me a kudos/left a comment, you all make me so happy! Honestly, it really is such a great motivator and I'm so happy to know that people are enjoying this story! I remember writing the first story in this series (IWYMTS) and debating if I should post it or not. If it weren't for my friends I never would have. And I definitely don't think I would have made it to the end without all of your guys' support, so thank you! From the bottom of my heart! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy <3

“It’s Donghyuck.”

Those are the only words Mark needs to hear before he’s on his feet and running for the door, phone pressed to his ear. Behind him, Mina calls out his name, but he ignores her, hoping she doesn’t follow. 

“What happened? Where are you?” he demands as he starts for the front door of the building.

“In his apartment.” Despite how hard he tries to keep his voice steady, the quiver at the end of his words speaks volumes. It tells Mark that this is serious, and that Jaemin is terrified out of his mind.

Mark veers back around and races to the stairs. He doesn’t have time to wait for the elevators. Taking two steps at a time, he climbs to the fifth floor and runs down the hall to Donghyuck’s apartment. He doesn’t even knock, twisting the doorknob and, luckily, finding the place unlocked.

Unlike what he thought to expect, there’s no chaos inside, just absolute stillness. Renjun, Jisung, and Chenle are on the couch, pale as snow. They rise together when they see him, worry written all over their faces. Mark doesn’t want to see it, though. He doesn’t want to believe it’s as bad as they make it seem, as bad as he thinks it might be.

His heart is in his throat when he asks, “Where is he?”

“Mark,” Chenle starts, eyes darting toward the hallway.

He immediately goes that way, but Renjun is fast. He’s at his side before he can blink, gripping his wrist and tugging him back. “Mark, it…it isn’t good.”

That’s definitely not what he wants to hear.

He shoves Renjun’s hold off him and enters Donghyuck’s room. It’s warm. Almost too warm. That’s the first thing Mark notices. It sticks to his skin uncomfortably as he takes in all the people inside. Except, he can hardly focus on them because stretched out across the bed is Donghyuck. Jeno and Lucas try to keep him at a distance, but he pushes his way through them to collapse next to the bed.

Donghyuck’s expression is more serene than he’s ever seen it. In sleep, he’s always appears like the little boy Mark first met, all soft lines, the innocence behind the mischief. This is different. Somehow, this feels like Donghyuck’s nothing but a body. There’s no innocence in his features. Not calmness. Just emptiness. That shakes Mark to the core.

The early evening sun cuts through the curtains, right across Donghyuck’s face, and yet he doesn’t flinch. Even the brightness against his eyelids isn’t enough to wake him. Instead, he lays there, unassuming, with his hands out and his chest rising and falling in the slowest of motions Mark’s ever seen in his life. It’s the only thing that tells Mark that Donghyuck’s still alive, still breathing. Still, Donghyuck appears dead and that causes his heart to tumble painfully in his chest.

It doesn’t feel real. It feels like a dream, like none of this is happening, or even should be happening. So, he goes to take Donghyuck’s hand. Just to make sure he can feel the touch. He yanks it back with a hiss. His skin is burning up, stinging Mark like he just stuck his hand into a candle flame. Giving Donghyuck one last look, he turns on Jungwoo and Jaemin, who stand on the other side of the bed with fidgeting hands and furrowed brows.

“What happened? What’s wrong with him?” he demands, hardness slipping into his tone before he can stop himself. This isn’t their fault, but Mark wants someone to blame. He should be blaming himself. He wasn’t there. He left Donghyuck. And then this happened. If he had just been there then—

“He’s been stressed,” Jungwoo says. “We think it hit him and he just collapsed.”

“Just stress?” His frown deepens as his gaze flicks back to Donghyuck. He readies himself for the hot temperature as he brushes Donghyuck’s hair from his forehead. The heat licks at his fingers, but he forces himself through it. “Are you sure?”

Jaemin bites his lip and Mark knows he’s hiding something. After a brief pause, he says, “He was angry. We came to talk to him and he got so mad. He…Mark, it was terrifying.”

“He screamed,” Jeno says from behind him. “It was the most horrifying sound I’ve ever heard.”

Mark’s blood runs cold, eyes set on Donghyuck’s face, looking for any sign that he was still in there, that he’ll wake up. Donghyuck remains quiet. His skin still holds its golden hue, which, in and of itself, isn’t something to give him hope over. Donghyuck doesn’t pale easily, even at his weakest moments. He burns like a star, until his fire pushes up out of him and he seems to shimmer like polished gold. This is one of those times. It’s beautiful, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.

Part of him wants to take his hand. He’s just not sure that the others will let them. Jungwoo’s already flinched every time he’s reached out to touch Donghyuck. Still, Mark’s never been afraid to go near him, even when he burns his hottest. Because those are the times that Donghyuck needs someone to hold him and Mark is fully prepared to be that person.

“It was like he couldn’t control his fire. It kept escaping him. He was completely on fire for a few seconds,” continues Jaemin. “Then, he was out. It took all four of us to get him here because he was just so hot.”

Red spreads along Jaemin’s inner arms and across his palms. Jungwoo isn’t any different, and Mark’s sure, that if he looked, Lucas and Jeno would be the same. God, he should have been here. He shouldn’t have walked away and let that stupid fight stop him from checking in.

“I know what you’re thinking and this isn’t your fault,” Jaemin whispers as he rounds the bed to crouch next to Mark and place a hand on his shoulder. “Mark, you didn’t do this.”

“I should have helped more,” he mutters and Jaemin shakes his head. “I should have been there for him. Instead, we just blew up at each other and I left him, Nana. I _left_ him. I always leave him and I didn’t want to. I don’t want to.”

He doesn’t know he’s crying until Jaemin’s directing his head into the crook of his shoulder and hugging him close. His body trembles, tears staining Jaemin’s shirt. Clinging to him, Mark knows he shouldn’t be breaking down because this isn’t about him. This is about Donghyuck. But Donghyuck’s always been what Mark’s about and everything is such a mess that it’s starting to become more and more helpless.

“Taeyong, Johnny, and Kun are here,” comes Chenle’s voice from the doorway.

Suddenly, there are more hands on him and it takes a moment to realize that they’re trying to move him. They’re trying to get him up. Mark shouts out, throwing himself at the bed and grasping Donghyuck’s hands, no matter how hot it is, despite it instantly scorching at his skin. He’s not sure if he shouts again because of the searing pain or because someone is pulling at him once more.

“Mark,” Taeyong says, voice firm and unrelenting in his ear. “Mark, let go.”

He tries to twist away, hand clutching at Donghyuck’s limp one. “No. No, I’m not leaving him! I’m not leaving him again!”

“Mark! You need to move. Kun needs to see him. Johnny, help me.”

Before he knows it, Johnny’s arms are around him, forcing him back so fast that Donghyuck’s hand slips through his. He screams and Johnny very nearly throws him toward the door. Fumbling slightly, he puts a hand out to steady himself. He uses the wall as a springboard, shooting himself back toward Donghyuck, vision blurred by unshed tears.

He knows he’s yelling, screaming. His throat aches from it. But he can’t stop. Not even when Johnny, Lucas, and Jeno force him into the hallway and slam the door closed. The last thing he sees is the blurry form of Donghyuck, surrounded by Jungwoo, Kun, and Taeyong, before everything is cut off.

When his legs give out, Johnny catches him and the two of them lower to the floor in an easier descent. Mark grips Johnny’s shirt, meeting his gaze, and says, “I can’t leave him. Johnny, don’t make me leave him.”

“I know,” he whispers. “I know. But you need to let Kun look at him, and you can’t be there.”

He hangs his head, pressing it to Johnny’s shoulder, and tries to breathe through the onslaught of desperation that fills to him. “Why did I leave him?”

“You had no idea this would happen,” Jeno says as he moves to sit next to Mark on the floor. “None of us did. You didn’t do anything. And you’re here now. Everything will be okay.”

Turning his head to look at him, Mark mutters, “You don’t know that.”

Jeno pauses. “You’re right. I don’t. But I can hope. I mean, Donghyuck’s the most stubborn out of all of us. Do you really think he’ll just collapse and never wake up? _Our_ Hyuck? No, I’d much rather believe in him than think this is the end. Don’t you?”

It’s hard to think right now. His head is pounding in tandem with his heart and he just wants to be next to Donghyuck and to hold his hand as hard as he can and never let go. Nevertheless, Jeno is right. This shouldn’t feel as despairing as it does because Donghyuck won’t give up. He won’t allow himself to burn out like this. Still, the sinking feeling in his stomach keeps trying to remind him that there’s a chance something could go wrong.

And things always seem to go wrong.

With Johnny’s help, Mark manages to stand and move toward the couch. Jaemin arrives only a few minutes later and curls up beside him. Neither of them speak a word, simply linking their fingers together. Mark doesn’t know if he’s the one who’s trembling or if it’s Jaemin. Either way, he can’t seem to stop it, no matter how hard he squeezes.

His friends fill out around him, their faces ashen and downturned. Renjun sits on his other side, a quiet support despite the way his leg shakes with his own bubbling impatience. The glances down the hall say enough, that he’s fully willing to run into the room if he’s given the chance. If he worries his lip any longer, it’ll start to bleed and Mark doesn’t want that, so he takes Renjun’s hand. Surprise flashes across his face as he looks down at his hand in Mark’s sore one. Then, it settles. So does his leg. He shifts his hand so their fingers intertwine.

Mark knows that Renjun and Donghyuck have always had an odd kind of relationship. They’re at each other’s throats the majority of the time, but there’s an understanding, a respect, and a loyalty to everything they do. Renjun’s honesty is something Donghyuck takes seriously—maybe even more seriously than Mark—because he knows Renjun would never lie to him no matter what. And Renjun knows that Donghyuck would be there to help him through thick and thin if the situation arose. There’s no doubt in his mind that Renjun feels just as useless as he does, right now.

Jeno’s places himself on the floor with Jisung and Chenle, leaning against the cushions that used to have a home on the couch Donghyuck destroyed a couple nights ago in a frustrated fit. Thinking back to that night causes Mark’s heart to twinge painfully. If he could do it over, he’d do it better. He wouldn’t have yelled, he would have listened more, and, maybe, he would have backed off. He definitely wouldn’t have left. He would have stayed and sat next to Donghyuck until they could have talked with a calmer tone.

Watching Jeno, Jisung, and Chenle on the floor, only reminds him of all the bad decisions he let himself take. None of them deserve this. None of them needed this. Mark regrets a lot in his life and he regrets it even more when he sees his friends suffering because of it.

Jeno’s quiet, but he sits there, eyes out the window and directed at the sky full of clouds. Even if they joke about Mark being the unofficial leader of the group, it’s Jeno that keeps them together. He’s their silent pillar of support. Half the time, he doesn’t even need to say anything. There’s been more than enough times when one of them has been upset and Jeno just sits beside them and waits. His patience is unparalleled and his sensitivity measured.

But, now, he sits with concern on his face and impatience in his shoulders and Mark knows that even Jeno can’t go through this without needing someone. This is Donghyuck. Their annoying and amazing best friend. And he’s in the other room, collapsed, with no idea when he’ll wake up. They all need someone.

Almost sensing his gaze, Jeno glances at him. Mark lets go of Jaemin’s hand to beckon him, Jisung, and Chenle over. They waste no time. They crawl across the floor to sit at the base of the couch. Jeno takes Jaemin’s hand and Jisung digs his fingers into Mark’s jeans.

“He’ll be okay, right?” Chenle asks, quieter than Mark’s ever heard him.

“I don’t know,” he replies and Chenle turns so he can rest his head against Renjun’s leg.

No matter how savage Chenle can be—something he’s most definitely learned from Renjun and Donghyuck—he’s still just a kid. He loves them all as much as they love him. The same goes for Jisung. They grew up with Donghyuck playing with them, teaching them, and loving them in his own special sort of way. Mark doesn’t want them to worry, but he has no idea how to relinquish their doubt. He can’t tell them it’ll be okay because it might not be.

They can only hope.

Johnny and Lucas stand at the table, chatting quietly to themselves. Johnny keeps his body ready to move, ready to help. When Mark first introduced Donghyuck to Johnny, he had no doubts that they’d get alone. And they did. They _do_ , he corrects. Donghyuck isn’t dead. There is no need for past tense.

Even if they don’t get a lot of time together, the two of them make the most of it. Mark finds himself the butt of a lot of jokes on those days, but he can’t help but allow it because Donghyuck is always so happy. His smile, his laugh, his brightness. He radiates it when he’s with people he cares about. Mark thinks he hasn’t seen that side in a really long time. Donghyuck’s been so quiet for almost a year and even if he says everything is fine, Mark knows it’s not. There’s so much going on in his head that he refuses to talk about. Mark wonders if Johnny could have done a better job at figuring it all out.

Because Mark…well, Mark’s failed.

If he had done right, none of this would have happened. Or maybe it would have happened when he was by Donghyuck’s side. Where he should have been.

All he’s done for the last year is ruin everything. He never should have said anything about his feelings. That’s what started it all, he’s sure of it. After that, things just keep falling apart and Donghyuck, unfortunately, suffered because of it.

Mark never wanted Donghyuck out of his life. He’s always thought that if he couldn’t be with Donghyuck that he’d be fine with just being friends. And he was. _Is_. It’s just that the more he tries to move on from his feelings, the more he keeps messing up the whole ‘friend’ part of the deal. Because, in the end, Donghyuck had been right. He never wanted a break. Mark did. Donghyuck had allowed him space, against his own wishes, and Mark had taken that for granted. He had separated himself too far and their friendship started to wear thin.

The moment he started seeing Mina, he should have said something. At first, it was because he thought it would be awkward; the person he’s dating meeting the person he still kind of likes. Then, he had found out Mina’s fear of fire and meeting Donghyuck suddenly felt dangerous. Not for either of them, in particular, because Donghyuck wouldn’t ever purposefully harm anyone. But for his progress. The more time he spent with Mina, the more likely he wouldn’t wallow on his feelings for Donghyuck. It had been working, to some extent. Now, he’s not so sure.

Seeing Donghyuck in that bed spurred a lot of emotions he never thought he’d have to go back to, that he was trying to ignore. Regardless of all that, Donghyuck needs him. He needs all of them. Mark isn’t about to make another mistake and walk away. He’s done walking away. He’s done that way too many times and each time has never ended well. So, he’s sticking around until Donghyuck sends him away.

The click of the bedroom’s door grabs his attention and they all turn to see Taeyong leave the room. He closes the door behind him, phone in hand, and heads toward the front door.

“Wait, Taeyong,” Mark says, hurriedly, as he tries to get off the couch. He nearly knees Jisung in the head as he does. Stumbling to a stop, he asks, “What’s going on? Please, just tell me what’s happening. Is he okay? Is he going to be okay? What did Kun say—”

“Mark,” Taeyong interrupts. Dark circles hang under his eyes and Mark realizes just how worried he is, too. And tired. “I’m going to be really honest with you, all right? I don’t know. Kun says he’s stable, but he can’t tell what caused it or if he’ll wake up. If he’ll _ever_ wake up. I’m sorry.”

Mark’s hands shake. “What do we do?”

“I have no answers.” He gestures to the door. “I’m going to step out for a few minutes and call Chanyeol. Hopefully, he can come over tomorrow and maybe give us some ideas. Until then, go home.”

“What?”

“Go home, Mark. All of you. Get some sleep and come back tomorrow morning. There isn’t anything you can do, right now, and it’s been a long day. Don’t worry, all right?” He offers a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Donghyuck’s in really good hands. I’ll keep an eye on him and call you if something happens.”

“But I don’t want to leave,” Mark presses.

Taeyong steps forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Mark, go home. Please.”

“Come on,” Jeno says as he steps up and leans into Mark’s side. “We’ll set our alarms for really early and be back before you know it. Donghyuck wouldn’t want you hanging around. You know that.”

It doesn’t matter, he thinks. It doesn’t matter that Donghyuck would definitely send him home with that whiney voice he uses when he wants to tell Mark he’s being a pain. He’d smile, too, like he’s holding a secret, like he knows that Mark would rather do anything but listen to him. It doesn’t matter. Mark doesn’t want to leave.

“Hey, Mark.” He turns to see Kun outside the bedroom door. Mark joins him, desperate to know more. “Give me your hand.” Mark does as he’s told. Kun takes it between his own and says, “That was a very stupid thing to do. This could have been much worse.”

“I don’t care.”

Kun lifts his eyes, scanning Mark’s. Then he sighs and lowers Mark’s hand. It’s healed. “No, I don’t suppose you do.”

“How is he? Kun, please, is he going to be okay?”

“There’s not much to say, unfortunately,” is the reply. It makes Mark’s heart drop. “It’s almost as if he’s put himself in a coma. He’s still burning up, but, currently, it’s a stable temperature. I don’t know what else to do. Normally, I’d suggest taking him to the hospital, but I don’t want to take the risk of moving him. Not when I don’t know what’s going on. Moving him may cause more damage. But I need to monitor him somehow.”

Jungwoo comes out and Mark wants to tell him to go back in or to let him go in because Donghyuck shouldn’t be alone. He holds his tongue, however, because Jungwoo looks absolutely exhausted. He probably knows exactly how Mark is feeling at the moment.

“The equipment is expensive, though,” says Jungwoo.

“I can foot the bill,” Chenle says.

Jungwoo shakes his head. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“He’s my best friend. I want to help. Let me help. It might be the only thing I can do,” he insists.

There’s a moment where Jungwoo is quiet. Mark wonders if he’ll turn it down again as he glances at the door, knowing Donghyuck is on the other side.

“Thank you,” Jungwoo says, finally. “I would really appreciate that.”

Chenle nods. “I’ll make a call. Kun, get what you need and I’ll pay for it.”

“In the meantime,” Taeyong says, speaking loudly so everyone can hear it, “go home. We’ll see you in the morning.”

With that, he turns and leaves the apartment, phone to his ear.

Mark wants to go into the bedroom. Every muscle in his body is screaming for him to push Jungwoo and Kun out of the way. Jaemin must sense it because he’s at Mark’s side in a second, taking his hand and tugging him away.

“We’ll get you into bed,” Jaemin tells him.

Mark doesn’t think he can sleep, but he lets Jaemin, Renjun, and Jeno lead him out. They take the elevator down, quiet and sullen. Renjun is the first to step through the door and Jaemin nearly runs into him when he comes to a complete stop.

Peeking around them, Mark spots what startled Renjun. “Mina,” he says, throat feeling raw and dry. “What are you still doing here?”

The four of them shuffle inside. Renjun gives Mark a nod and heads off to his room. Jaemin hesitates, gaze flicking between Mark and Mina, until Jeno pulls him away to their shared bedroom. He’s not sure if he should be grateful they’re giving him space to talk to Mina or upset that now he really, seriously, has to deal with his girlfriend alone after everything.

He doesn’t feel well. His head still hurts and his eyes are sore and he wouldn’t mind shutting down and not talking to anyone. Mina doesn’t know all that, though. She doesn’t know anything, except that he ran out on her over an hour ago.

“I was waiting until you got back. You ran out so fast and it looked like something terrible happened. I figured you might want someone to be here when you came home,” she says as she takes his hands. They’re cold. “What happened? Everything okay?”

Slipping away from her, he ruffles his hair as he goes to perch on the arm of the couch. “It’s Donghyuck. He collapsed today.”

“Oh.” She shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Is he, um, okay?”

“We don’t know,” he sighs. Despite the sudden exhaustion, he knows he’s going to be tossing and turning all night. There’s no way he’s going to get any sleep. “He’s unconscious. They sent me home for tonight, but I’ll go back in the morning.”

Mina moves to the spot beside him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She smells like lavender. It’s so strong that it makes him somewhat nauseous, so he turns his head and tries to breathe in the clean smell of the apartment.

Meeting Mina had been an accident. Mark had, quite literally, tripped into her. At first, he hadn’t been sure how to handle himself around her; around a pretty girl, who seemed just a tad bit out of his league. Still, as they followed along with the campus tour, they continued to talk. Mina was nice, charming, and very available. By the end of the day, she had given him her number and that was that.

It wasn’t like Mark had been looking for someone else. He had been fully set on being by himself, growing out of his feelings for Donghyuck alone. However, Mina was interested in him, asking him to hang out, and he took it. He took it because, at the time, he knew he needed to get a grip on himself and stop being so hopelessly in love with his best friend and she was a way out.

Talking to Mina’s nice. It’s comfortable and, yeah, he likes her. Although, sometimes, he’s not sure how much. In a way, it feels like being with Yeri again. The only difference is, in high school, it felt like he was expected to date. Plus, he was trying to deny the fact that he liked Donghyuck. Yeri was there and she was a sweet girl and she— _God_ , he didn’t deserve her at all. With Mina, he didn’t have to say yes to the first date, or the second one, or the third. But he did. He did because he enjoyed being with her.

Well, until he had started talking about his friends in detail, especially their powers. But, by then, they had established something and Mark didn’t want to let that slip away. He was getting better. Hanging out with Donghyuck wasn’t as painful anymore. So, Mina was scared of fire and terrified of meeting Donghyuck: he could fix that, make her believe he was safe.

It just turned out to be a longer process than he thought.

But Donghyuck was right. How long is he willing to waste his time trying to convince his girlfriend that his best friend isn’t going to kill her? Because, in the end, he knows who he’d pick if he has to choose, and that’s kind of scary in and of itself.

He’d be right back where he started.

“I’m sorry,” Mina mumbles into the top of his head. “I know he means a lot to you.”

Mark wants to laugh. He knows, too, and that’s the problem. After tonight, he feels like he just got whiplash. All those feelings he had been carefully dealing with, sorting through, flew back into his face and now he’s not sure what to do. He likes Mina. Maybe not the fact that she dislikes Donghyuck just because of his powers, but everything else is fine. She’s a good person and she had, unknowingly, helped him quite a bit with moving on. But he also can’t deny the fact that he still likes Donghyuck. After all this time.

“Maybe this is a good thing.” Mark stills at her words. Waiting. “I mean, if he’s unconscious he can’t hurt anyone. Or himself.”

He was already feeling nauseous. Now, he just wants to throw up. Pulling out of her arms, he questions, “What?”

“Well, I just mean that he can’t use his powers like that.” Her brows furrow as she thinks. “Or, well, maybe he can. He lit that fire in his sleep, right? The one that killed his parents. Wait, is he in the building?”

“Of course, he’s in the building,” Mark says, standing up. “He lives here. Where the hell else would he be?”

Mina blinks. “I don’t know. At a hospital? Why is he here? What if he sets the building on fire?”

It’s unbelievable, he thinks, stepping back and pressing his hand to the side of his head. It’s still pounding. No, he doesn’t want to do this, right now. He can’t deal with a fight with Mina after what’s just happened. But he can’t let her continue to think this way because Donghyuck doesn’t deserve it. He’s never deserved this kind of ignorance thrown his way. Ever.

“He’s not going to,” he spits out.

“How do you know?”

“Because I know him and he wouldn’t do that!”

Mina frowns. “He’s already done it once before.”

“Mina,” he says, slowly, “I can’t do this with you, right now. I’m tired and my best friend is in a fucking coma. Please, just go home.”

The expression on her face tells him she’s entirely unimpressed with his choice of words, but he can’t find it in himself to care. He needs to lay down, even if he’s not going to sleep, and Mina is kind of in the way of that.

“Just know, I’m not coming back until I know he’s out of this building, Mark,” she tells him, grabbing her jacket and sliding on her shoes. “For what it’s worth, I hope he wakes up. Not for him, but for you. Talk to you later.”

The door slams shut and Mark winces at the sound. It does nothing for his headache. Tiredly, he collapses back onto the couch and closes his eyes. This was not how he expected his day to go when he woke up this morning.

“Your girlfriend is a bitch”

Peeking through his lashes, Mark finds Renjun standing over him with his hands on his hips and a blasé expression written over his delicate features. He huffs a sigh and sits up so Renjun can take the other end of the couch.

Between the two of them, Renjun’s always been the better judge of character. It isn’t that he’s wary of new people, like Jeno or Jaemin, or able to read a person’s actions and words to decide, like Donghyuck can. It’s an instinctual feeling, down in his gut. From first glance, Renjun knows who’s worth the time and who needs a pass.

When he first met Mina, he had stayed silent—like he normally would in any other situation—but Mark knew Renjun had a read on her. He just chose not to say anything. Probably because he didn’t expect Mark to continue to talk to her. That is, until he found out that Mark was actually dating her. He had come to see him that night with the words, “Be careful. She’ll be trouble.”

Mark thought it was because he’d placed her between him and Donghyuck. Now, he wonders if Renjun saw this coming. If he knew the whole time. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell what Renjun picks up and what he doesn’t. He’s not quick at it like Jaemin and Donghyuck. He takes his time, gathers all the details first, and then he places his two-cents. And, like everyone else in their group, Mark takes what Renjun says seriously because it’s honest to god truth.

Doesn’t mean he has to like it.

“She has a rational fear of fire,” he finds himself saying. Even though, right now, he could agree with the fact that Mina crossed a line earlier. He just doesn’t want to deal with it tonight. He wants the morning to come so he can sit next to Donghyuck and hope he’ll wake up. At this moment, Donghyuck’s more important than a fight with Mina.

Renjun frowns. “And an irrational fear of Donghyuck.”

“You think I don’t know that?” He runs a hand down his face. “I thought with time, I could convince her, but she’s so set on being scared. And that—God, I don’t even know what to say after what just happened.”

“Why did you stay with her after finding that out?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to know why _I_ think you stayed with her?” When Mark doesn’t say anything, Renjun nods and continues, “Because she gave you a reason to separate yourself from him. You can’t have him around if your girlfriend is scared.”

“Renjun—”

Shaking his head, he cuts Mark off with, “No, that’s what it is. I know you, Mark. I know you wouldn’t pick someone like that unless there was another motive. Because you’ve spent years fighting everyone who thought like Mina does. Don’t lie to me.”

Sure, the thought crossed his mind. He had started seeing Mina strictly because he decided he needed to try and explore other options. Then, he started actually liking her quite a bit. When he had figured he probably should meld her in with his friends, and she reacted badly to Donghyuck’s powers, it was kind of like a blessing in disguise. He had more time before his worlds collided. Still, he didn’t want Mina to be a separate entity forever. He truly did want his friends to meet her.

Now, he’s not sure.

Renjun’s the only one that’s officially met her. He had sat with them both at lunch during the campus tour. Jeno and Jaemin have seen her in passing when she visited, but never spoke to her. At least, nothing past a quiet hello. And Mark’s never really introduced them. And then Donghyuck. God, Donghyuck.

Mark regrets that whole night. Every moment of it. From the moment Mina showed up at his apartment to hang out to the moment Donghyuck sent him home after their fight. Thinking about it hurts.

“Do you really like her that much?”

And there’s the question he’s been trying to avoid for months. After tonight, he’d got a clearer view on the answer, he thinks.

The truth: not the way she likes him.

It isn’t that he hasn’t tried. He has. And he even almost convinced himself that he did. He likes Mina, but as a friend. Of course, he’s done what he can to try and strengthen his emotions toward her, to fall deeper. Unfortunately, they’ve been put on a standstill and he’s left wondering which way to turn. Mina likes him. A lot. She’s said it enough times that he can’t mistake her feelings. Mark, however, is left out in the wild, desperately hoping his brain will finally win over his heart and that he can convince himself to go with Mina. Or anyone. He’d take anyone at this point.

Except, it’s not that easy. Donghyuck somehow always seems to pop up when he least expects it, awakening everything he’s successfully put to sleep. Like tonight, where everything he had tried so hard to build came crashing down around him the second he saw Donghyuck, unconscious, across his bed.

Life has always been cruel. He just didn’t think it would be this cruel.

“I think,” Renjun says, his voice cutting through the silence once again, “you have a lot to think about. I know you’re doing this because you don’t want to make Donghyuck uncomfortable. That if you can somehow fall in love with someone else then your friendship can go back to normal. The only problem with that is that you can’t force these things. If you’re meant to love someone else, you will.”

“I don’t want to love someone who doesn’t love me back,” he whispers as he sets his eyes on the wall. He doesn’t want to look at Renjun because he knows the expression he’ll be wearing. Pity. “And I’m starting to think I’ll always love Donghyuck. For as long as I live. And there’s no way to get out of it.”

Renjun takes his hand and squeezes it. “I think, right now, you need sleep.”

“I’m not going to be able to fall asleep.”

“You need to try. We’ll come get you in the morning. So, go wash up and get into bed. We can talk more later.” Getting up from the couch, he adds, “I have all the faith in the world that this will work out.”

“How?”

The smile he gets is soft, fond. “You forget that I know both of you idiots really well. Now, go to bed, Mark. See you in the morning.”

Mark lets him leave without another word. Rubbing at his eyes, he knows he should do what Renjun said and head to bed, but he can’t bring himself to move. Four floors up, Donghyuck is in his own bed, unconscious to the world. He hopes Jungwoo is sitting by him, keeping an eye out. He hopes someone will call him if there are changes.

On tired legs, he stands up from the couch and wabbles his way to his room. He doesn’t even turn on the light as he crosses the room to the +dresser and pulls open the top drawer. It’s still filled with Donghyuck’s things. Things Donghyuck had kept at Mark’s place over the course of many years since he started sleeping over. Mark hasn’t had the heart to give them back, or even get rid of them. Maybe part of him, he thinks, never really moved on.

He really was just kidding himself.

Taking out one of the shirts and grabbing his own set of joggers, he makes his way to the bathroom to get ready. Every movement is sluggish and robotic. He doesn’t remember most of it because, somehow, he’s suddenly under the covers.

He blinks up at the ceiling, hand clutched at the collar of his—well, Donghyuck’s—shirt. Thinking back on that night, when Donghyuck came face to face with Mina and stormed off, hurts his heart. There were so many things that night he wishes he could erase from his mind. Especially the moment Donghyuck pointed out what Mina was wearing.

Mark hadn’t even noticed. When he left, Mina had been searching for more comfortable things to rest in. He hadn’t told her the top drawer was off limits. He definitely didn’t register the shirt when she came out because all he could see, all he could focus on, was Donghyuck.

Beautiful Donghyuck in all his golden glory. Angry or acerbic or upset, Donghyuck’s always been so bright that Mark can’t help but turn all his attention on him. Like a sunflower to the sun.

How did he even think he could move on from someone like that? What made him think he could kid himself?

Turning over, he brings the collar up to his face and closes his eyes. It doesn’t smell like Donghyuck, anymore. None of the clothing in the drawer does, but the act of wearing it is enough. He hopes Donghyuck doesn’t mind. Not that he’d ever find out. Mark isn’t about to announce that, in one of his lowest moments, he donned Donghyuck’s shirt in the hopes it would ease his anxiety. He’d never live it down. Still, he buries his face into it and sighs.

Tonight, he notes, is going to be a very long night.

*

Mark is awake and texting Taeyong by the time Jeno pokes his head into the room. Upon seeing Mark sitting up, resting against his headboard, he steps into the room and climbs up onto the bed without a word. He blinks, as if asking permission, and Mark puts his phone down, stretches out his legs, and lets Jeno cuddle up to him.

Absentmindedly, he runs his fingers through Jeno’s hair while the two of them read Taeyong’s messages. He’s up there with Jungwoo, Kun, and Lucas. Donghyuck’s situation hasn’t changed. He’s still unconscious, still quiet and unmoving. It’s somewhat unnerving to think about because Donghyuck is anything but that. He’s untamed energy and overused words.

Going upstairs feels more difficult than it should. A very large part of him wants to be up there, to be ready for when Donghyuck wakes up, to be there if he’s needed. A small part of him is scared. He’s not sure how much he can take, seeing Donghyuck the way he is, without the life he normally would keep. He’s definitely not sure if Donghyuck would even want him there after everything that’s happened between the two of them.

Still, Taeyong’s told him that Donghyuck probably would want that. Even fighting the way they did, they’re still friends. At least, that’s what Mark would like to think. Regardless, it doesn’t matter because Donghyuck is in a coma and Mark will help even if he isn’t wanted.

Taeyong tells Mark that they can come up at any time. Sometime in the next hour, Chanyeol is dropping by. Hopefully, with answers. God, Mark just wants answers. He knows this isn’t just exhaustion. This has to have something to do with his powers and why they’re as wild as they are. If anyone is going to have any ideas, it has to be Chanyeol.

“How are you doing?” Jeno asks, quietly, leaning into Mark’s hand. He can’t help but smile fondly at the action and presses his fingers into Jeno’s scalp more.

“Doesn’t matter how I’m doing,” he says. “I just want to know how Hyuck’s doing. Apparently, not any different from yesterday.”

Jeno shakes his head. “I think it matters. I don’t think any of us are doing okay. Jaemin barely slept last night. I tossed and turned. I heard Renjun on the phone with Chenle sometime around midnight. It’s okay if you aren’t doing all right. I don’t expect you to be. None of us do.”

“I’m tired,” he admits, placing his phone on the bedside table. It’s to be expected since, like Jaemin, he hardly slept. He spent most of his night staring at the wall, lost in thought. “And angry.”

“Angry?”

“At myself. I screwed this all up. If I hadn’t pushed him away, fought with him, said the things I did, none of this would have happened.”

Straightening, Jeno says, “You aren’t at fault. Donghyuck’s been hiding things. From you and from us. If he wanted things to be easier, he should have said something. He had plenty of opportunities.”

“But I could have made it better.”

“Maybe. He could have, too. You two just have horrible communication.” Oh, if Mark doesn’t know that. “But,” Jeno continues, “this whole incident isn’t solely your fault. This is the fault of a hundred little things that Donghyuck’s been piling atop his shoulders. You don’t get to take full responsibility, all right? Besides, if Donghyuck knew you were blaming yourself he’d call you an idiot.”

Mark coughs a laugh. “Yeah, guess he would, huh?”

“Stop worrying about who’s right or wrong, or who to blame, and focus on the now. Let’s figure out how to wake Hyuck up. Then, we can point fingers. Okay?”

Nodding, he says, “Yeah. Okay.”

The door opens and Jaemin appears with Renjun at his side. Both of them are sporting dark circles and bedhead. Neither of them has changed, still dressed in their pajamas. Renjun’s have little UFOs on them. The set he doesn’t normally break out unless he’s sick or feeling generally awful.

Crossing his arms, Jaemin raises a brow and asks, “Are you trying to steal my boyfriend, Mark Lee?”

Jeno beams and holds his hand out for Jaemin to take and lead him onto the bed, as well. Renjun follows right after. Mark likes this. Them being close, no hard feelings pulling at the edges of their friendship. For the last little while, there’s been a tension there that Mark couldn’t displace. Now, it feels different. Calmer. Supportive. The only thing missing is Donghyuck and the kids.

“When are Jisung and Chenle getting here?” Mark asks Renjun.

“Soon. Chenle just picked up Jisung. So, ten minutes? I told them we’d meet them at the apartment. Did you hear anything back from Taeyong?”

“Yeah. Kun’s been watching him. Said nothing’s changed and that he doesn’t expect it to in the next little while. Chanyeol’s on his way.”

Jaemin bites his lip and settles against Jeno’s side. “I hope he has answers.”

“Me, too,” Mark whispers. “I’ve never felt so…”

“Helpless?” Renjun supplies and Mark nods. “I wish there was a way to talk to him, to find out what’s wrong. All we can do is hope he’ll wake up.”

Sliding off the bed, Mark says, “Well, we better be there when he does. Let’s get ready.”

The four of them grudgingly start moving. It isn’t that they don’t want to get up to the fifth floor and be by Donghyuck’s side. They just don’t want to go up to the fifth floor, knowing there may not be a way to deal with whatever is going on. Each one of them knows this isn’t going to be a quick fix.

When they arrive, Chenle and Jisung are already inside, talking with Lucas. Taeyong’s on the phone again by the window. When he spots Mark, he holds up a finger to tell him to wait, finishes his conversation, hangs up, and crosses the room to hug each and every one of them.

“No changes?” Jaemin asks. There’s a note of hope that Mark can’t miss.

Taeyong shakes his head. “No. Temperature’s the same and he’s still unresponsive. The equipment Kun ordered will be here in a few hours, and Chanyeol will be here in a few minutes. You can go in and see him if you want. Just don’t touch him. I don’t want any more burns while Kun isn’t around.”

“Jungwoo in there with him right now?” Mark asks.

“Yeah, has been all night. Please, convince him to sleep. I’ve given up. I think he might give in if you guys are there, though.”

Jaemin tells them he’ll join in a bit and goes to Chenle and Jisung’s side to check on them. Mark, Renjun, and Jeno head to the bedroom. At the side of the bed, Jungwoo sits in a chair, watching Donghyuck’s face. Hearing the door, he glances over his shoulder. Just like the rest of them, he appears drained, exhausted.

“I don’t know how to wake him up,” mutters Jungwoo as Mark draws closer to rest a hand on his shoulder. “It’s too quiet. He’d normally be up by now, complaining about his classes or something else, just to make noise. I always told him to shut up and now I just want him to talk again. It’s too quiet.”

His voice cracks on the last word, tears at the corner of his eyes. Mark wraps his arms around him from behind and gazes down at Donghyuck. It really is too quiet in the apartment. Everyone talks in whispers, or not at all. Almost as if they’re terrified to crack the silence themselves.

“Go get some sleep,” Mark tells him. “I’ll watch over him.” When Jungwoo glances up with blurry eyes, an argument on his tongue, he adds, “I promise. And I’ll wake you as soon as anything changes.”

“You won’t be much help if you can barely keep yourself awake,” puts in Renjun from the other side of the bed. He looks at Donghyuck with a careful expression. Something that’s mixed with worry and anticipation and resignation.

With Mark’s help, Jungwoo stands from the chair. He takes one last glance at Donghyuck before saying, “Keep an eye on him.”

“Of course,” he promises.

Once Jungwoo’s out of sight, Mark slides into the empty chair. He starts to take Donghyuck’s hand before Jeno catches his wrist with a shake of his head. Right, Taeyong said not to touch. But it’s hard, he thinks as he watches Donghyuck’s sleeping form, because all he wants to do is hold his hand and will him awake. If only he could do what he does in dreams and convince Donghyuck that he’s better off awake than in a nightmare.

“Do you think he can hear us?” asks Jeno as he moves around to sit next to Renjun. They’re both perched on the edge of the bed, watchful not to accidentally touch Donghyuck. “I read somewhere that coma patients can hear their friends and family when they talk to them.”

“We don’t know if this is a normal coma, though,” Renjun points out. “He could be completely gone for all we know.”

That’s the scary part. None of them know anything. If this was Donghyuck fainting from exhaustion, Kun would know. However, he doesn’t, and that leaves everything up in the air. It could be a lot of things. Mark thinks it might be his powers, but even he can’t bet money on that.

“Hey, Hyuck,” Mark whispers. “We’re going to help you. You’re going to wake up. I promise you.”

“He better wake up, the asshole. Worrying us all like this.” There’s no bite to Renjun’s words. “Oh, he’s so going to get it when he’s out of this stupid fucking coma.”

“We’ll kill him and then bring him back to life.” Mark twists around to find Jaemin waltzing through the door. He takes the spot near the end of the bed, eyes glued on Donghyuck. “He has so much explaining to do.”

Jeno leans in toward Donghyuck and says, “Might be best to remain in the coma, Hyuck.”

Jaemin slaps him on the shoulder and Mark actually laughs. If Donghyuck was here, he’d laugh, too. He’d crack a joke and set them all off again. Then, he’d look at Mark with those round eyes and smile and Mark would be a goner all over again.

“It feels so weird, seeing him like this,” Jaemin says. “I sort of expect him to jump up and scream ‘Got you!’ at any minute, you know?”

Mark definitely knows the feeling. God, if only that were the case. But he also knows that Donghyuck wouldn’t fake this. It’s beyond his ability to. He’s too lifeless, too quiet, too still. Nothing he’d be able to act for this long of a time. No, Donghyuck is in danger and Mark can feel it in his gut. If they don’t wake him up soon, he doubts they ever will.

The last thing he wants is for Donghyuck to go out this way. He’d claim it as anticlimactic because if anyone deserved to go out with a bang, it’s Donghyuck. Yet, here he is. Laying in a coma, in his barebones room, with no final words to taunt them with.

Mark glances around the space, still blank and sparce, except for the lion Mark got him years ago. It sits on the bedside table, watching them all. Mark still doesn’t know what Donghyuck named it. Or if he named it at all. But he’s kind of glad to know that Donghyuck kept it despite everything that happened between them.

A knock on the door gains their attention. Taeyong’s back, but this time he has friends. Kun comes up beside Mark and holds his hand above Donghyuck’s face, as if he can get a reading that way. And maybe he can. Mark’s never known the expanse of Kun’s powers.

“Oh, look, the whole crowd’s here,” Chanyeol says as he steps into the room with Baekhyun behind him, who’s carrying a box. “Hey, Jeno.”

Jeno offers him a half-smile. “Hey.”

Setting down the box on the dresser, Baekhyun says, “How’s the brat?”

“Still the same,” Kun replies. He points to Mark’s friends and says, “You remember Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin. And this is Mark.”

“Ah,” Chanyeol says with a smile. “You’re Mark. Should have known.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mark inquires, tilting his head.

With a wave of his hand, Chanyeol says, “Oh, you know, just been mentoring your buddy there. He mentioned you once or twice.”

Beside him, Baekhyun snorts and Mark feels like he’s missing something. Mark’s never seen them so, well, mundane. Casual jackets and t-shirts and jeans. They look like any normal person on the street, despite the fact that they run an underground fighting club in the Red-light District.

Reaching into the box, Baekhyun pulls something out and toss it at Mark. He catches them, fumbling a bit. Gloves.

“What are these?”

“Fireproof is what they are,” Baekhyun explains. “I figured you probably would want them in case you needed to get your hands on him.”

“Where did you get those?” Taeyong asks, peering into the box.

“Luhan.”

Taeyong hums. “Makes sense.”

Mark shoves his hands into the gloves and reaches out to take Donghyuck’s hand. The missing warmth feels strange, but he holds on anyway. There’s no way he’s letting go any time soon.

It’s odd, seeing so many people in Donghyuck’s room. The space isn’t that large, so it feels a little too cramped. Mark watches as Chanyeol moves closer to the bed. Jaemin and Jeno both get up, backing up into the corner to give some space as Chanyeol puts his hand on Donghyuck’s wrist. His eyes flare gold. The color makes Mark’s stomach twist.

“You know, Donghyuck?” he asks.

Chanyeol turns on him with those gold eyes. A shiver shoots down Mark’s spine. “Like I said, I mentor him.”

“Since when?”

“Couple of days ago. He wanted to get used to his powers, control them. Should have known how stubborn he was because he apparently ignored everything I said,” Chanyeol says as he takes his hand away from Donghyuck and his eyes blink back to brown.

“You’re saying his powers are doing this?”

Straightening, Chanyeol scans over Donghyuck’s figure and nods. “It’s hard to say exactly what’s going on inside him, but his powers are certainly the reason he’s out. The temperature and the way his fire is so close to the surface is enough to prove that. I just can’t say what will happen.”

“So, we’re back to square one,” Renjun comments with a sigh.

“There are two types of pyros,” starts Chanyeol.

Mark cuts him off, “Yeah, the ones that bend an outside fire source and the ones that live with it inside them. What does that have to do with this, though?”

Furrowing his brow, Chanyeol says, “He said you could be impatient when you worry.” Mark blinks, speechless. “Anyway, yes, you’re right. But if a pyro lives with fire inside them, it changes the game. The fire depends on the person and the person depends on the fire. We co-exist together, if you will. Depending on our personality, the ability shifts. Adapts to the person it lives inside.”

“What makes yours different from Hyuck’s?” asks Jeno.

“Well, for starters, it burns me up once a year.”

Mark frowns. “Wait, what?”

“He means it quite literally burns him up,” Baekhyun elaborates. “He bursts into flames, turns into ash, and then is reborn.”

“As my current age, of course. Not, like, as a newborn. That would be weird. It’s like a restart button on myself and my ability.”

Baekhyun makes a face. “It’s the messiest shit. However, I doubt that’s what’s happening with the brat. He’d be ash by now if that was the case. Not to mention, it would have happened before.”

“Exactly,” Chanyeol agrees. “He’d be burning up even more than he is. Right now, I’d say his abilities have him on lockdown.”

“Why?” asks Mark. “Why would it do that? It doesn’t need to.”

“I could imagine it has something to do with how he handles his powers, in general. This is all guesswork, but one of Donghyuck’s issues is that he suppresses his emotions to suppress his fire and vice versa. If he let out his emotions, he’d have a better chance controlling his fire. What happened before he collapsed?”

Chanyeol glances around the room at each of them. Mark wants to say he knows, but he doesn’t. The guilt still rests on his shoulders from having walked away and not been around when Donghyuck fell into a coma. The only people who know in the room are Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin, who all look down as if they’re ashamed of something.

After a moment, Jaemin raises his head and says, “We got into a fight. He was already upset when he came home. I guess, we made it worse. He got so mad. Then, he just flared. Fire and all. Next thing we knew, he was out and he wouldn’t wake up.”

Chanyeol rubs at his chin, thinking. “Chances are, he was trying to do what he’d normally do and control his emotions, but his fire lashed out and took matters into its own hands.”

“Are you saying it won’t let him wake up?” Renjun questions, looking up at Chanyeol.

Lifting his shoulders in a shrug, Chanyeol says, “It’s my best guess. For years, it’s been trying to warn him. At least, that’s my take on why he had so many issues with it and why he ended up upping his suppressants. It’s been trying to tell him to let it go, to let himself go.”

“How do we get it to let him go, now?”

“I’d say he’d need to accept his emotions, but that’s kind of difficult if he’s passed out.”

“Well, no duh,” Baekhyun pipes up.

Chanyeol sends him a pointed look that reads: ‘what do you want me to do about it?’. He then says, “The only thing you can do is wait. Maybe, it’ll let him go enough so he can handle his crap.”

“And if it doesn’t?” demands Mark. “Donghyuck’s not even aware we’re here. There’s no way to stop this from the outside? At all?”

“The only person who’s going to wake him up, right now, is himself,” states Chanyeol. “There isn’t anything you can do. If he starts getting hotter,” he turns to Kun, “then you have a problem. You won’t be able to stop that from happening. You’ll just have to let him go through the motions.”

None of these were the answers he wanted. Sure, he knew it was a shot in the dark. But he still expected something. Some form of idea that they could plan around.

Mark squeezes Donghyuck’s hand. All this because Donghyuck was suffering and Mark never knew it. Well, he did. In a way. Mark isn’t that blind and Donghyuck had said he was going through things. He just refused to tell. He never said a thing. He remembers when Donghyuck said that Mark didn’t know what he was going through, how he had closed up when Mark asked him to explain it to him. It was in that moment he knew it was a lost cause.

To put it simply, he sort of gave up trying. If Donghyuck didn’t want to explain himself, Mark wouldn’t force him. God, he wishes he had forced him, now. If he had sat down and listened, would Donghyuck have told him?

Mark likes to think that he might have. Then again, Donghyuck’s been hiding things from him for far too long, so maybe not. In the end, he’ll never really know.

Not unless Donghyuck decides to wake up.

*

When Kun’s equipment finally shows up at the apartment, Mark is forced to leave the room. Again. He’s seriously beginning to hate that. He doesn’t want to let go of Donghyuck’s hand, especially now that he can hold it without getting third-degree burns. But he also knows that Kun has a job to do, so he trails after everyone else into the living room.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun stay for another hour, chatting quietly with Taeyong and Kun, as well as Jungwoo, who just woke up. The way they whisper makes Mark curious and he wants to know what they’re saying, if maybe they’re coming up with a plan, but Taeyong shoots him a look that tells him to stay in his seat and he listens.

By the time the front door closes, Chanyeol and Baekhyun saying goodbye, Jaemin is the first to speak. “So, we have no idea what’s going on with him or have a plan to wake him up. Am I right or am I right?”

Sighing, Taeyong collapses into one of the chairs at the dining table next to Jungwoo. Mark wonders if he’s slept yet or if the exhaustion is purely from everyone’s thoughts running wild.

“Can you hear him, Tae?” Mark asks. “Donghyuck, I mean.”

“No. I can’t. There’s a block and I’m willing to bet that it’s his fire keeping me out.”

Well, that doesn’t help them. “Please, tell me you have a plan. Anything.”

“I have an idea.”

Mark perks, leaning so far off the couch he almost falls. An idea is better than nothing, he thinks. Except, Taeyong isn’t looking at him. His eyes are downcast, his lower lip between his teeth. Evidently, he’s not confident in his idea, but Mark doesn’t have any others, so this might be their only chance. He just hopes it works out for the better.

“What is it?” he urges.

Taeyong shakes his head. “It might not work. It was just something Chanyeol said about Donghyuck being the only one to wake himself up.”

“And he is,” Jaemin says, slowly, “right? If he’s in a coma, none of us can jolt him awake.”

“All of us, except one.”

Mark’s muscles tense as Taeyong turns his gaze on him, heavy and stilling. “But I…I can’t? I’ve never purposefully jumped in a dream before. And you said yourself that he’s put up a block. If you can’t do it, what makes you think I can?”

“You’re the only one who he _would_ let in,” Renjun says. “You guys might be in a rough place, but you’re still best friends. And I doubt he’d be able to keep you out if he tried.”

He spots Jaemin and Jeno nodding from the corner of his eye. Hearing that does make him feel better, in a sense. Even after everything, they still trust him enough to try this. He just hopes they’re right and that Donghyuck hasn’t completely given up on him.

“But that still doesn’t change the fact that I can’t control my jumps,” he points out. “They just sort of happen. And it doesn’t really happen with people I know, either.”

“It worked with Taeyong,” says Jaemin. “And Hendery,” he pauses, “and Donghyuck?”

“What?” Mark’s not sure his muscles will ever relax now. His eyes flick between all of them, gathering their knowing expressions and feeling them pull him down. His heart gives a sorry excuse of a beat and flops. Oh, god, they know. Dropping his face in his hands, feeling his ears warm, he mutters, “Damn it. He told you.”

Jeno says, “Don’t be mad at him. We kind of forced it out of him. He wanted to keep it quiet for your sake.”

He can feel Renjun shuffling closer. “We weren’t going to tell you we knew, but desperate times. Look, you did it before. There’s a chance you can do it again.”

Lifting his head, he says, “But I don’t even know how I did it the first time. It was a complete accident. We don’t even know if he’s dreaming!”

“Well,” Kun’s voice is heard before he’s seen. He stops at the edge of the hallway, fire-proof gloves on his hands. “His mind is still active. He might not be dreaming, in a definition sense, but you should still be able to get into whatever’s going on in there.”

“Like any other power, you should be able to control it, which means you should be able to control whose dream you jump into,” Taeyong explains. “Your bond with Donghyuck should give you an advantage, as well.”

Jaemin tugs at his ear, eyes up to the ceiling in thought. “So, if Mark can jump into Donghyuck’s dreams, you think he can talk to him and figure out what’s going on?”

“And possibly wake him up,” adds Renjun. “It _is_ the best plan we’ve got.”

That’s an understatement. It’s the _only_ plan they’ve got. While Mark isn’t sure if it’ll work, he’d rather exhaust all their options than sit and wait. Donghyuck may be stable, but that doesn’t mean he’ll remain like that. He doesn’t want to think that things could get worse, that his gut is telling him that it could. Hope and faith are all he has at the moment and if that means also taking a risk, he’ll do it.

Without a word, he stands and makes his way toward the bedroom. He can hear the scuffle of everyone hurrying to follow him. Inside the room, Kun’s set up all the machines. They blink and beep and it suddenly feels a lot more real than it did before. Donghyuck’s in serious trouble, so much so that they’ve introduced an IV and he’s pretty sure Jungwoo and Kun spoke about a feeding tube, though it doesn’t seem to be set up yet.

Donghyuck lays in the middle of it all, as still as ever. A feeling of uneasiness settles in his stomach as he takes hesitant steps toward the bed. If he can’t do this, what do they have left to do? If Donghyuck doesn’t wake up, Mark’s pretty sure his life is over. As dramatic as that sounds. But life doesn’t feel worth having without Donghyuck in it, so it just feels like a fact.

He takes the chair next to the bed as everyone forms a circle around it. Taeyong is the first to speak. “You don’t have to do this, right now. We can wait. Talk about it more.”

“No,” he says, scanning Donghyuck’s face. “If we’re going to do this, we do it now. I can’t,” he looks to his friends, “promise it’ll work.”

Jaemin is the only one who nods, face set in determination. “We’ll figure something out if it doesn’t.”

It’s not the best consolidation because Mark knows that figuring something else out is going to be like pulling teeth, but he takes it for what it is—a way to ease his worry—and turns his attention fully on Donghyuck.

Last time was an accident. There was no rhyme or reason. Mark just happened to show up in Donghyuck’s dream, just like he has with several other people. It isn’t like he actively seeks people out. His powers switches on at random times and he goes with the flow. Besides, there’s only so much control he can have over a power that only works while he’s asleep.

He remembers laying next to Donghyuck in Chenle’s guestroom. He remembers closing his eyes. And then everything was bright lights and loud music and Donghyuck’s touch. It’s a memory he tries not to pull out too often because it stings. Because with those memories, comes the moment they wake up and Donghyuck lies to his face and tells him he had a nightmare. Like he doesn’t remember. Like he didn’t kiss Mark in his dreams not only once, but twice.

But this isn’t the time to wallow on old memories. He has to find the trigger that sends him into dreams while he’s awake. How he’s going to do that is another story altogether.

Mark thinks Taeyong may have the right idea. If anyone knows Donghyuck—even just a little more than anyone else—it’s Mark. There have been plenty of times they’ve simply glanced at each other and known. Just _known_. They get each other on a level that no one else would understand. Even if Mark doesn’t know all Donghyuck’s secrets. So, Mark thinks that, yeah, maybe he can do this.

Closing his eyes, he wonders if he can reach out like this. He tries to focus, tries to hone in on Donghyuck and his mind, but Mark can’t read that while awake. He’s never been able to. And sitting this far away, with the distance between them, feels like too much of a disconnect. Donghyuck isn’t someone you just understand by simply wanting to understand him. To understand Donghyuck, you need to see him, watch his eyes, touch him.

His eyes open and he reaches for one of the fire-proof gloves on the nightstand. Taking Donghyuck’s hand, he closes his eyes once more and hopes to all hopes that this is better. Something niggles in the back of his mind that feels strangely familiar, except it’s too loose, too foggy. Every time he makes a grab for it, it dodges and he’s left where he was before: in the bedroom, with his hand in Donghyuck’s, and his hope hanging by a thread.

“Mark, wait—”

But he’s already taking off the glove and sliding his fingers through Donghyuck’s and, _oh fuck_ , it hurts. It burns at his skin, just like it’s done before. He remembers all those times—the day Donghyuck set his parent’s home on fire for the second time, the time he collapsed outside of Black Pearl—but Mark couldn’t care less because he’s willing to go through the pain to get to Donghyuck.

Every single time.

Mark’s not willing to give this up. He doesn’t even know why he wanted to. Oh, yeah, to save their friendship. What good that did.

This time, he wants to get it right. This time, he’s not going to let Donghyuck give up and slip away. This time, he is going to do everything in his power to wake Donghyuck up once and for all.

The niggling feeling in the back of his head shoots forward and Mark feels his brain accept it and his body falls forward. He’s not sure he ever hit the bed because the next moment, upon opening his eyes, he’s not in the bedroom anymore.

Mark blinks, taking in the familiar setting and wondering just what’s going on. It’s the community center. Or, well, the rooftop to be exact. It looks exactly like it does in reality. Nothing is out of place. Not even the city that surrounds it. The uneven skyline waves back at him from where he stands. The sun is low, casting everything in a golden glow. It’s simultaneously too bright, yet not bright enough. Mark keeps blinking to adjust his vision.

It’s silent, though he’s not surprised. Everything in a dream is give and take. One sense is given up for another, all the time. Mark doesn’t expect sound when everything else is so vivid.

But none of that matters because standing on the opposite side of the roof, hovering over the half-wall that keeps them safe from falling, and gazing out over the city, is Donghyuck. His back is to Mark and Mark’s not even sure that Donghyuck knows he’s there because he doesn’t turn around, doesn’t say anything. He just keeps looking out at the melding pot of brick and glass buildings.

He kind of can’t believe he managed to jump. On purpose. Yet, it felt so natural, to be dragged into Donghyuck’s dreams. It didn’t feel like a struggle. It felt like opening a door. A simple twist and he’s in. Now that he’s here, however, he’s not sure what to do.

So, he gingerly takes a step forward. And then another. Then another. Until he’s only a few feet away, just an arm’s width from Donghyuck, and says, “Hyuck?”

Donghyuck doesn’t jump, nor does he spin around. The ease of his turn tells Mark that perhaps he did know Mark was here all along and was only just waiting for the right moment to give his attention. But when he glances over his shoulder, Mark sucks in air so fast that his lungs quiver in retaliation.

Golden eyes stare back at him. As golden as the sun that hangs to their right, bright and unforgiving. There were times, in the past, when people used to whisper that Donghyuck’s golden-turned eyes were terrifying, that it meant impending doom, that there was nothing pretty about them. Maybe Mark’s always been a sucker for danger, or maybe Donghyuck turned him that way, either way, Mark finds them striking. Definitely beautiful. Yet, the worry still hangs there in front of him because golden eyes mean Donghyuck’s not in control. And that means fire.

Even still, there’s no fire around them. Just city. So, Mark thinks that perhaps the golden eyes are simply a warning, which means he needs to think and act fast.

“You shouldn’t be here,” is all Donghyuck says as he turns back around and leans on the wall again.

That’s not exactly the reaction he thought he’d get. It sort of takes him by surprise because there are so many ways this could have gone and indifference wasn’t even on the list. Donghyuck could have been angry at him. He could have thought Mark was a dream. He could have done anything and everything and Mark would have taken it. This feels like more of a slap in the face than anything else could have been.

Unsure of how else to proceed, he decides to inch his way to the edge, next to Donghyuck, and looks down. There’s nothing there. The buildings never reach the ground, disappearing into a foggy haze about halfway down. Apparently, Donghyuck got lazy. He smiles to himself because, yeah, that’s just like Donghyuck.

“Hyuck, what happened?”

For a moment, there’s silence. Donghyuck doesn’t spare him a glance. His fingers link together, his eyes glow gold, and everything about him tells Mark that he’s accepted his current state. There’s no rush to fix this. That rattles Mark more than he cares to admit.

“It got too much,” Donghyuck whispers.

“What did? Your powers?”

Giving a small nod, he says, “That, and my emotions. I just couldn’t keep them in check. It was like I exploded. And then I was here.”

“You, apparently, did explode. Kind of.” Mark sighs. “You’re currently in a coma. Hooked up to machines and everything.”

“How long have I been out?”

“Less than a day.”

Donghyuck hums, like he doesn’t care. Like this doesn’t affect him at all. Mark has an urge to reach out and shake some sense into him. This isn’t something to hum about.

Golden eyes flick to him and he stills. “How did you get here?”

“I dream jumped,” he replies. “For once, I managed to do it by my own choice.”

“You mean,” Donghyuck narrows his eyes before looking around them, “you’re not here by accident?”

Mark manages a small smile because, yeah, he’s kind of proud of himself. “Yeah.”

“Holy. _Wow_. How?”

“Would you believe me if I said I don’t know? I just wanted to talk to you,” he admits. Donghyuck shakes his head, starting to turn away again. “No, Hyuck, seriously. I’m only here because you need to wake up and we had no other way to talk to you. We didn’t know if you could hear us from the outside—”

“I can’t. I don’t know what’s going on out there and I don’t really care.”

“You don’t mean that. Come on, you know you have to wake up, right? You can’t stay in a coma forever.”

Donghyuck coughs a laugh at that, causing all the words Mark wanted to say to disappear. His gaze is sharp as he meets Mark’s. “I don’t want to wake up.”

It’s like all the air’s left his lungs. Mark takes hold of the half-wall, trying to keep himself upright. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“B-but why? You can’t be serious.”

Shrugging, Donghyuck says, “I am. I don’t want to leave, Mark. Things here are,” he takes a deep breath and Mark thinks he shudders a little, “calmer. I can’t hurt anyone here.”

The admission is small, quiet, and it takes Mark by surprise. In all honesty, it shouldn’t because Donghyuck’s talked like this before, in the framework of his parents’ old home. His biggest fear is hurting the people he loves and he’s always been willing to go to extremes to make sure it never happens. It’s something Mark admires, but also hates because Donghyuck shouldn’t have to. He never should have the need to do things like this.

Mark wants to tell him things will be okay, that they’ll get better, but he’d rather not test the limits and lie. This isn’t an easy thing to deal with and Donghyuck isn’t about to abandon his own morals to listen to Mark and wake up. He’s going to hold on, strong and true and so, _so_ stubborn. This is the Donghyuck Mark fell in love with. He just wishes those things weren’t in the way of bringing him home.

“You could die,” Mark tells him. “Donghyuck, you could die if you don’t wake up. Your body is already burning. If you stay in here you could burn up completely. Please, don’t do this.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “You really don’t get it. I don’t expect you to. This isn’t an easy choice, but it’s the safest one—”

“You don’t know that!”

“Yes, I do!” he shouts and Mark steps back as those golden eyes flash at him. Donghyuck hugs himself, gaze downturned. “I’m a danger. You’ve always known it. Hell, your girlfriend knows it.” He glances up. “You can’t keep kidding yourself, Mark. I’m not tame, I’m not careful. I’m a bomb about to go off and you can’t keep lying to yourself.”

Mark grounds his heels into the concrete roof and says, “That’s not true. You’ve never purposefully harmed anyone. They’ve been accidents.”

“Accidents that still ended up with someone needing to be healed, Mark. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep tempting fate and I sure as hell can’t keep hurting you because I will. I already have.”

“I don’t care.”

“And that’s the problem,” Donghyuck laughs, low and bitter. The sound scrapes along Mark’s bones. Lowing his arms, he takes a step closer, moving so he’s sandwiching Mark between himself and the half-wall. The stone digs into his lower back. “You don’t care and that’s an issue. I can’t have you putting yourself in danger because of me. I’m not worth it.”

“Is that what this is about? Your worth?” Mark scowls, gripping the wall behind him. “I said it before and I’ll say it again: you’re worth _everything_ , Donghyuck.”

“No, I’m not,” he mutters, inching closer. Mark’s not sure how close he’s planning to get, but with every step he feels hotter. It’s getting harder to breathe. Something isn’t right. Breathing shouldn’t be an issue in dreams. “I know it and you know it. Don’t try and stop me, Mark. This was always meant to happen.”

Mark’s body is trembling, unable to look away from Donghyuck’s eyes. “No. You can’t do this. You need to wake up.”

“I think it’s you that needs to wake up. Just let it happen. Wake up and live. Do it for me. Be safe, yeah?”

It feels like he’s suffocating. “Donghyuck—”

Donghyuck’s hands are searing when they touch Mark’s chest. He gasps, despite himself. “You need to wake up.”

“No, stop. Don’t do this. Just listen to me—”

“Wake up, Mark.” The words are said at his ear, so tender and hot, and they make Mark’s eyes almost fall close.

He catches the softest smile forming on Donghyuck’s lips before Donghyuck shoves as hard as he can and Mark flips over the side of the half-wall and falls, a silent scream torn from his throat.

*

Mark wakes with a jolt.

His heart stutters erratically against his chest, trying to figure out how to properly beat again. Vision swimming as he sorts out all the shapes and colors until they make some sort of sense, Mark tears his hand out of Donghyuck’s and lets out a low groan at the pain. It’s almost numbing, but not quite. The palm of his hand is red and blistered and the skin is starting to peel in various places. It’s shaking even as Kun appears at his side to take his hand into his own and heal it.

“Mark? Mark, what happened?” Jaemin asks.

That, he thinks, is a good question. Mind still spinning, he tries to focus on the way Kun grips his hand. A tingling sensation flutters through his fingers and he knows the healing is working.

It isn’t until it’s fully healed and Kun is replaced by a very concerned-looking Taeyong that Mark is able to sort out what he just came back from. His mind is struggling to keep up with the information that feels just a little too surreal. Everything is snippets, but those snippets are so intense and pure. He can still see Donghyuck’s gold eyes watching him, calculating the situation before Mark even knows what’s happening.

“He doesn’t want to come back,” he mutters.

Taeyong frowns. “What do you mean?”

“He said he doesn’t want to wake up. He wants to stay there. He thinks it’s safer.”

“Bullshit,” Renjun spits. “That’s utter bullshit.” He spins on Donghyuck’s sleeping form and screams, “That’s fucking bullshit! You don’t get to leave us like this! You better fucking wake up! I—Let me go, Jeno. Let me go!”

Jeno’s quick to wrap his arms around Renjun and tug him away from the bed. On a good day, Renjun could probably take Jeno down. Today, he’s out of energy, out of strength, and fighting back is fruitless. He twists around, eyes red and glistening, and buries himself in Jeno’s chest and cries.

Biting his lip, Jaemin turns away and Mark gets it. Watching Renjun, someone always so composed, completely break down, hurts in ways he never imagined. It makes him want to cry, too, but he holds it together enough to talk because, right now, he’s their only link to Donghyuck.

“I tried to convince him to come back with me, but he’s completely set on staying,” Mark continues. He shoots Donghyuck a glare. “He shoved me out. Pushed me off a building.”

“Asshole,” Jaemin mumbles, even though there’s a hint of a smile on his lips.

Mark offers him a ghost of one back. Although, he’s sure it comes out more like of a grimace. “I didn’t know what else to say. He wouldn’t let me bring him back and I can’t force him to wake up. He has to do it on his own.”

With a sigh, Taeyong stands up. “There’s nothing we can do about it. For now, we’ll let him have his way.”

“But, Taeyong—”

“I know.” He squeezes Mark’s shoulder. “I know, and I get it, but, like you said, you can’t force him. There’s nothing we can do about it until we can break through to him.”

Reaching out for Donghyuck’s hand, he says, “If I can just—”

Taeyong seizes his hand before it can make any contact. “No. You’ve done enough. Using your powers like that, in a new way, is draining. Let Donghyuck rest. We’ll come up with a new plan. Don’t worry,” he tells them, “we’ll figure it out.”

Mark doesn’t want to get his hopes up when everything seems so helpless. It’s just hard when he knows that Taeyong wouldn’t say it unless he believed it wholeheartedly. Quietly, he takes his hand back and sets it on his lap.

“I’m going to go talk to Kun and Jungwoo for a bit. Don’t touch any of the equipment and, please,” Taeyong points at Mark, “don’t touch Donghyuck.”

By the time he’s left, Renjun’s peeling himself away from Jeno. Jaemin’s there now, whispering to him in low tones and Renjun nods, though Mark isn’t sure if Renjun is even hearing what Jaemin is saying.

It isn’t that Mark doesn’t understand where Donghyuck is coming from. He’s been with him long enough to understand that fear Donghyuck likes to keep chained to his ankles and drag around with him. And while he watches Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun—and even Chenle and Jisung—Mark gets it. He does. He wouldn’t want to hurt them either, especially if he couldn’t control it.

But that fear only goes so far because they’ve all accepted Donghyuck and his powers, accepted that accidents happen and that they may get hurt. The thing is, they never are. Mark doesn’t remember the last time someone got burned in their group, other than Mark himself and that’s because he just doesn’t care. He’d burn himself up to get to Donghyuck. He has before and he’d do it again. And, _yes_ , he knows that’s not the healthiest thing and Donghyuck also knows it’s not, which is why they’re having so many issues.

Donghyuck doesn’t want to wake up and take the risk, regardless of their own feelings on the subject. Because Mark is sure that if he asked any one of his friends, they would all say the same thing. A burn for Donghyuck is worth having Donghyuck still in their life. If only Donghyuck could see that.

And, maybe, Mark’s to blame. Oh, no, he’s _definitely_ to blame. After years of trying to break down that fear into something manageable, for trying to convince Donghyuck he was fine and that they were fine and everything would be fine, he backtracked. Or, well, he didn’t, personally, but he found someone that backtracked for him.

It’s not to say that he picked Mina based on her fear of fire. Mark had no idea until a couple months into their relationship. However, it didn’t help anyone. It especially didn’t help Donghyuck, who, upon hearing the truth, froze up. Mark’s decision to be with someone like Mina was like shoving Donghyuck down the stairs and telling him to crawl back up again on his own. He saw it on Donghyuck’s face the moment he realized Mina’s own fear, but he couldn’t fix it. He doesn’t know why he thought he could.

God, he’s ruined it all and now he’s not even sure he could talk Donghyuck out of his choice to stay in a coma. Does he even have a right to, now that they’ve gone through all of this?

“He really doesn’t want to wake up, does he?” Jaemin asks, voice small and shaky, and Mark looks away, unsure of what to say. “Why would he want to leave us? I mean, we can’t be that bad, can we?”

“Of course not,” Jeno says as he wraps an arm around Jaemin’s shoulders and tugs him closer.

Renjun sniffs, face still blotchy from crying, and steps up to the side of the bed. “He’s too stubborn for his own damn good.”

“He can’t stay like this, right? He’ll have to wake up,” asks Jaemin.

Shaking his head, Mark says, “I don’t know. I think that if he wants to stay like this, he’ll make sure it happens.”

“But he could die!”

“I told him and he didn’t care.” Wringing his hands together, he adds, “Donghyuck’s never wanted to hurt anyone. That’s his biggest fear. I think he thinks this is a way out. He won’t give up the chance to finally be able to do this for us and himself.”

Lower lip wobbling, Jaemin says, “We never asked him to do this. We never wanted him to leave.”

“He knows,” Mark tells him. “He knows and he’s making the choice for us.”

“How can you sit there and be so calm about it? This is Donghyuck! He’s our best friend and he shouldn’t be like this! How can you let him do this?”

Mark bristles. “You think I want this? You think I like this idea? I told him to stop. I told him to come back. He didn’t listen to me and I don’t know why I expected him to. If I had my way, I’d drag him back here with everything I have, but I can’t. I can’t do anything, Jaemin!”

Silence flutters around them. Jaemin bows his head and Mark knows he didn’t mean to sound like he was blaming Mark for it all. He doesn’t need to. Mark already knows. Still, there’s tension in the air that none of them can shake.

“I want him back,” Mark whispers, eyes following the curve of Donghyuck’s cheek, the slope of his nose. “I’d give anything to have him back. But I can’t. I don’t have the ability to. If he wants to come back, he has to do it on his own. Trust me, it hurts me just as much as it hurts you.”

“Maybe even more so,” Jeno says and Mark looks to him with wide eyes. “You may be with Mina, but we can all see that you’re still in love with him. I don’t think that was ever going to change. This is eating you from the inside out, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he croaks because his throat is suddenly sore and dry. “Yeah, it is.”

“I’m sorry, Mark,” Jaemin mutters. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Mark waves a hand at him. “No, I deserve it. I’m the one that messed everything up. I’m the one that walked away. Again. After everything. You’d think by now I’d learn.”

“You were just doing what you thought was right. No one can fault you for that,” Jeno tells him.

Jaemin wrinkles his nose. “Although, it was very stupid. So incredibly stupid. You’re an idiot, Mark Lee. Be lucky we all love you enough to put up with your crap.”

That makes him chuckle. Well, he certainly knows how lucky he is now. None of them should even be giving him another chance and, yet, here he is. Somewhere, in some other life, he must have done something very good to get friends like the ones he has. There’s no other way to explain how he deserves them.

Before he can say anything, his phone buzzes in his pocket. Mina’s name flashes across the screen as he takes it out. He lets it ring until the voicemail clicks in. Then, a message pops up on the lock screen.

**Mina:**

**I’m sorry**

**I shouldn’t have said what I did**

**Do you want to meet up?**

Mark’s not sure how to feel. There’s a confliction in his heart and his head about the whole thing and he doesn’t even know where to start to piece it together.

Even if he knows he’s in love with Donghyuck, his feelings for Mina haven’t changed all that much. He still likes her. She had been there when he was desperate, in need of someone. She was the one who made him think that he could maybe, possibly, stop loving Donghyuck the way he did. She’s still a good person, despite her crippling fear, but she isn’t who Mark wants or needs. The way he likes her isn’t the way a boyfriend should like his girlfriend. And, truthfully, he doesn’t think he’s what she really wants or needs either.

It’s wrong to continue this if that’s the way things are. Even still, he’s not sure how to handle it. This isn’t like Yeri in high school, where couples came and went as quick as the tide washing in. Where breakups were somewhat expected. Mina has been Mark’s girlfriend for months. This is a whole new ballgame that he doesn’t know the rules to play.

“You should go see her,” Renjun says, suddenly, breaking Mark’s thoughts away.

He doesn’t want to. He wants to say here. With them. With Donghyuck. Mina…Mina can wait.

As if he can read Mark’s thoughts, Renjun continues, “Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this will help you finally sort things out. Go get a coffee and come back. Donghyuck would understand.”

Mark knows he would. Donghyuck’s said as much.

_“Wake up and live.”_

Like he can do that without Donghyuck around. It doesn’t matter that Donghyuck would tease him and shove him away. Mark doesn’t want to move. He promised he wasn’t going to leave.

Jaemin rests a hand on his shoulder and smiles. “It’s okay. Go.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I know. But like Renjun said, maybe this will help you out with what choice to pick next.”

Mark wants to tell them that he already knows what he wants to do next. He’s just not sure it’s the right choice. Because, at the end of the day, even if he still loves Donghyuck, Donghyuck doesn’t love him back. Not the way Mark wants him to.

When Jaemin squeezes his shoulder, he says, “Mark. Go. We’ll call you if anything happens.”

Every part of him is screaming not to, but he stands anyway, gaze lingering on Donghyuck. He knows he’s safe with the others. He knows that if anything goes wrong—or even right—they’ll contact him. Yet the sinking feeling in his stomach tells him not to go to Mina and to just stay put.

Still, he doesn’t think his friends would tell him to leave if they didn’t think it was needed.

“If anything happens,” Mark says to Jaemin, “you call me, immediately.”

“Absolutely,” he promises. Then, he takes Mark’s hand and adds, “Just do me a favor? Think carefully over what you want and how you want it. This is your chance to make the right decision, Mark. Don’t mess it up.”

He doesn’t want to, and he’s pretty sure he’s done with that. No more choices are being picked without serious thought. Not now and not ever.

With one more glance at Donghyuck, Mark leaves. Chenle and Jisung walk through the door just as he’s putting his shoes on. Out of the two of them, Chenle looks the most skeptical to let Mark go, but he does. On the way out, Chenle tells him not to do anything stupid. Mark thinks he probably deserves that warning.

Especially when he gets to the small café down the street, the same one that he and Mina frequent when they have time between classes, and lets Mina get up from her seat to kiss him. He returns it, albeit a little distracted. His mind is still back at the apartment, still telling him to go back.

It isn’t until he’s seated that he realizes Mina asked him a question. She blinks at him with round eyes.

“Sorry, what?”

Mina’s lower lip pokes out in a pout. “I was just saying that I ordered for you.”

“Oh.”

His lack of response and fidgeting—these chairs are not the comfiest—must strike a chord because Mina frowns, marring her pretty face, and asks, “How is he? Your friend?”

“He’s, um, still unconscious,” he replies, slurring his words unintentionally as the waiter drops off his drink. Wrapping his fingers around his coffee, he lets the warm absorb into his skin. He thinks of Donghyuck and the fire he can light not only in himself, but in Mark as well. Hot and permanent and _oh so_ addicting.

“You know,” Mina says, quietly, gaining Mark’s attention, “I called you here because I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry for the way that I acted. It was uncalled for.”

She shifts, though Mark doesn’t think it’s from the uncomfortable chair. The way her eyelashes flutter, the way she keeps her head down slightly, Mark knows that she regrets what she said back at the apartment. Mina, Mark notes, is nice, but sometimes she slips. Sometimes her tact is left at the door. It isn’t like Mark hasn’t done that once or twice. Or anyone else he knows.

Sighing, she taps her nails on the surface. “Sometimes I get caught up in my emotions and I don’t really think about the implications of what I’m saying.”

“Thank you.”

He doesn’t tell her it’s okay because it’s not. Those words should have never been spoken in the first place, but he chooses not to say any of that. He keeps his lips sealed and his eyes on his coffee. The steam curls up through the hole in the lid, somewhat hypnotizing.

His body jolts when Mina’s hand brushes his, taking it between her slender fingers. “I really am sorry, Mark. You know how I am with fire.”

“I do.”

The smallest flicker frightens her. Mina doesn’t keep candles and she doesn’t like campfires and he’s watched her shiver at the thought of forest fires. There isn’t a reason for it, just like there’s no reason that Ten has a fear of fruit or Yuta of balloons. It’s an instinctual reaction and Mina’s never been able to get over it. He doesn’t know why he thought he could get her to get over something that can be—in all it’s being—destructive.

He just didn’t know it would extend to Donghyuck.

“Do you know when he’ll wake up?” she inquires.

Mark shakes his head. “No. No one does. He might not ever wake up.”

Pursing her lips, Mina gives a small nod and watches their fingers link together. Mark lets her do it, only half paying attention.

There’s a memory, in the far corner of his mind, of his mother telling him that no one should be with someone if they love someone else. He wonders if it was foreshadowing, if she had known Mark would get himself into this situation.

Still, he thinks that’s only an easy choice if that someone else likes him back. He could give Mina up and go to Donghyuck. The only problem being that Donghyuck doesn’t want him. He had said as much. That thought still stings.

Mark ponders over what would happen if he stayed. Sure, he likes Mina. He could learn to like her even more, perhaps. He knows he would never love her like he does Donghyuck, but should he just wander the world alone, waiting for someone else to come knock Donghyuck out of first place? Because what if they don’t? What if he’s left pining after someone for the rest of his sad, lonely life? Is he willing to do that?

Being with Mina isn’t fair to her. Isn’t fair to him. He knows that.

Maybe he’s just being a coward again.

“Mark? Are you okay?” Mina squeezes his hand.

“Yeah,” he lies. “I’m fine.”

No, he can’t keep this up. He can’t keep being with Mina and expecting a change. If it hasn’t come already, it never will, and he can’t just let this continue on while Mina wants so much from him that he can’t give to her.

Inhaling deeply, Mark straightens. As gently as he can, he unravels their fingers, earning a frown from Mina, and readying himself.

But before he can get a word out, Mina cuts in. “Mark, whatever you’re about to say—Please, don’t. I—I know what I said was wrong and I never should have. I get that he’s your best friend and I know that this situation has been hard,” she licks her lips, “and I’m here if you need me.”

“You don’t even want to be in my building anymore,” Mark points out.

“I just…” her voice trails off as she looks around the room. Almost like she’s too flustered to make eye contact. She probably is. “It’s hard, Mark. I want to be here for you and support you, but it’s hard when it’s over someone who has a power like that.”

Mark frowns, leaning forward so he can lower his voice. “He can’t help the ability he gets, any more than we can help it. Mina, he didn’t ask to be a pyro.”

“I know,” she presses. “I know that. I do. It’s just not something I’m comfortable with and you know that. What if he loses control like he did before?”

“He was a _child_ ,” he hisses. Mina flinches. “A child, who was asleep. A child that had a nightmare and reacted like any scared child would. You can’t blame him for that.”

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t make it any less scary for me, Mark.” Twirling her hair around her finger, like she does any time she’s nervous, she adds, “I know it doesn’t make sense. I just know that it scares me and that I’m scared that you’re close to him. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

It’s a fair worry, maybe, from someone on the outside. Someone who doesn’t understand what Mark and Donghyuck have gone through over the years. He can get her reasons. That doesn’t make them any less frustrating, though, because they’ve been through this once or twice before and it always ends the same. With one of them leaving and the fight left lingering.

Mark doesn’t want to do this anymore. He doesn’t want to fight or try to convince someone that Donghyuck isn’t dangerous. All he wants to do is get out of this café and go back to Donghyuck’s side. To the person who knows him inside and out, and who needs him.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he tells her, standing up. The legs of the chair scrape across the floor.

Mina’s on her feet, too, holding out a hand to gesture him to sit back down. “Wait, Mark, don’t.” Grabbing her bag and her jacket, she says, “You know what? I’ll leave and we can talk about it later when things aren’t so tense.”

“Mina—”

“Later,” she says. “I hope things go well with your friend and I’ll talk to you later.”

He opens his mouth to tell her that he doesn’t want there to be a later, that there won’t be one at all, but she ducks out so quickly that he can barely get a word out. Mina knows what he wants. That’s why she’s running. And Mark is too much of a gentleman to break up with her over the phone. He needs to do it face to face. Now, he’s not sure how he’s going to get that chance.

With a heavy sigh, he picks up his coffee, still hot beneath his fingertips. He’s made it to the sidewalk before his phone starts buzzing. With hurried hands, he answers.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

Jaemin’s voice comes through the speaker. It isn’t panicked, which eases Mark’s immediate worry, but it isn’t completely stable either. “I think you should come back. His temperature is rising and it hasn’t stopped.”

Mark tosses his coffee into the nearest bin and runs.

*

When he gets back to the apartment, Chenle is holding what seems to be some kind of silver, vinyl blanket and heading toward the bedroom. The place feels empty. Hardly anyone else is in sight. Just Jungwoo, who’s on the phone and barely registers that Mark’s arrived. However, from the foyer, he can hear other voices and one sounds suspiciously like Kun and the other like Jaemin.

“What’s that?” Mark asks as he follows Chenle down the hall.

“Fire-proof blanket,” is the reply. “We figured this was safer. You know, in case he decided to get fiery.”

That’s probably a good plan, he thinks. Especially if Donghyuck’s body temperature is rising as much as Jaemin made it seem.

Inside the room, Jaemin and Kun are moving around the bed, gloves on their hands. They gesture to each other and Mark can hardly understand what they’re saying because they’re talking so fast. It isn’t until Jaemin looks up and orders for him to come help that Mark realizes what they’re doing.

Putting on his own set of gloves, he replaces Jaemin’s spot next to the bed, across from Kun. Jaemin and Chenle unfold the blanket. With a count of three, Mark and Kun work together to lift Donghyuck off the mattress so Jaemin and Chenle can slide the blanket under him. It isn’t ideal and it’s a little clumsy, but they manage it.

Jaemin steps back and wipes across his forehead at the sweat forming along his hairline before turning around and opening the window. The room is stuffy and hot, like a sauna, and the cool air from the A/C is working overtime to try and regulate it. It’s too bad Donghyuck’s just a little more forceful than it is.

“Where’s Jeno and Renjun?” Mark asks as Chenle and Kun leave.

“I told them to go to class. Jeno has a big test coming up and Renjun has a group assignment. They can’t miss those. Told them I would text them if anything changed.”

Right, Mark remembers, school. To be perfectly honest, he hadn’t even thought about it. Everything had completely flown out of his mind when Donghyuck collapsed, including classes. He wonders how much trouble he’ll be in for skipping so many lessons. Not like he cares. Donghyuck’s far more important than that and he’s pretty sure he can make up for it.

“What about you?”

Rubbing at his face, Jaemin says, “I don’t have a class until later tonight. I’ll go when Renjun gets back.”

“Hey, Nana.” Mark steps up to him, pulling his hands down and taking in the dark circles, red eyes, and the pale complexion. It’s not surprising that Jaemin’s lasted this long without falling apart on them. If anyone were to take this with a brave face while breaking down on the inside, it would be Jaemin. “When was the last time you slept?”

“I don’t even remember,” he whispers, eyes flitting to Donghyuck. “I just know I have to be here.”

“What you need to do is go sleep.”

“I can’t.”

Mark tugs him into a hug. Jaemin buries his face into the crook of his neck, fingers gripping at the edge of his shirt. “Yes, you can. If you don’t want to go back to the apartment, you can nap on the couch. But you need rest, Nana. We all do. Donghyuck wouldn’t want you to run yourself ragged.”

Jaemin sniffs into his shoulder. “He might.”

“What do you mean?”

“I did this, Mark. It’s my fault.”

Leaning back, he forces Jaemin to look at him. “What do you mean? There’s no way you could have stopped this. You told me it wasn’t my fault, which means it sure as hell isn’t yours.”

“I told you it wasn’t your fault because it’s _mine_.” Jaemin sighs and steps back, lower lip trembling. “I pushed him. I kept pushing and pushing and he snapped. I did this, Mark. Me. And now he’s dying.”

“Jaemin,” he says, slowly, “what are you talking about?”

Jaemin’s eyes are watery and red. They can scarcely stay focused on Mark, let alone anything else in the room. Mark can see how tense his shoulders are, how he can’t keep his hands still. Everything about his posture screams guilt and Mark doesn’t want to leap to conclusions, but he’s not sure what else to say or do. His heart jumps to his throat.

“He told me not to say anything,” Jaemin whispers. “I can’t, Mark. I _can’t_.”

“This is serious, Jaemin. What were you pushing?”

“Mark—”

“No,” he states, firmly. “Donghyuck is in trouble. I don’t care if he told you not to mention it. Right now, we don’t get that luxury. If this could help him, you better fucking tell me, Jaemin.”

He doesn’t mean to make Jaemin flinch back. He doesn’t want to be cruel. But Donghyuck is hanging on by a thread and Mark is desperate. Any information is worth it. It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Damn it all to hell, Donghyuck can be furious when he wakes up. At least then he’ll be awake to _be_ furious.

“Jaemin, what did you do?”

A tear trails down Jaemin’s face as he meets Mark’s gaze, finally. He looks so tired, so small. “Donghyuck loves you, Mark.” All the air leaves his lungs. “I was trying to convince him to tell you, but he wouldn’t. He kept denying it, over and over, but we all knew the truth. It wasn’t until we were fighting last night that it slipped. He—while he was collapsing, he begged us not to tell you. That you couldn’t know.”

Mark stumbles back, running into the bedside table. The items on it clink together noisily. His heart beat hits a roadblock, shuttering to a stop before rushing onward so fast that it’s excruciating. He can’t stop himself from glancing to the side, from glancing at Donghyuck.

He lays there in silence, unmoving and unknowing. Mark isn’t even sure what to think. His mind is churning a thousand miles a minute and Jaemin’s words keep spinning around and around.

“Wh—”

“I wanted him to tell you. We all did. Renjun and I tried to convince him,” Jaemin says. “He just never listened to us.”

“For how long?” When he realizes that question isn’t specific enough, he corrects himself. “How long have you been trying to convince him?”

Jaemin swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing. “I’ve always mentioned it to him, ever since I knew him. I didn’t take it seriously until last year. And we’ve been pressing it for months. We just didn’t want to see you two fall apart! You guys have loved each other for so long and nothing seemed to make a difference.”

“He told me he couldn’t love me,” Mark mumbles, brain foggy and unfocused.

“He lied.”

Reaching for the chair, Mark falls into it and puts his face in his hands. He hears Jaemin move to squat beside him. “Why?” he breathes. “Why would he do this?”

“I have theories, but nothing concrete,” says Jaemin. “If you really want to know, you need to ask him yourself.” His hands take Mark’s and he gazes up with wide, glistening eyes. “I’m so sorry, Mark. I really am.”

The words slam into his chest. Jaemin, wonderful and caring Jaemin, truly believes this is all his fault. It isn’t. It’s Mark’s. And Donghyuck’s. Because they couldn’t deal with their own crap, and while trying to hide it from their friends, ended up dragging them into it instead. Jaemin did what any concerned friend would do and it had a bad after effect, but this isn’t his fault.

“Don’t be,” he says, bending down to press his forehead against Jaemin’s. “This isn’t your doing. It’s a bad turn of events.”

“If he never wakes up, though, I—”

Mark shakes his head. “He will. I know he will. And when he does, he’ll tell you the same thing. That this wasn’t your fault. Please, don’t think that. We have,” he inhales and pulls away to look to Donghyuck, “other things to worry about.”

“I swear, Mark, he really does love you.”

It’s hard to think because he’s spent so much time with the thought that Donghyuck didn’t. At least not in the way that Mark loved him. Now, Jaemin’s telling him that’s not the truth and his first instinct is to not believe it.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to believe it. God, he wants to with all his heart, but Donghyuck’s always put them at a distance, always claimed the ‘best friends’ title as if it were a barrier between them, and it doesn’t make any sense. To think that, after all these years, Donghyuck really did love him as more than just a friend is like an icepick to his heart.

Donghyuck lead him astray, let him force them both apart because he thought he needed to. Mark had been desperate to create space just to save their friendship. He thought he was the one that ruined them, but maybe that’s not the case. There’s apparently a lot more that Mark never knew about and he’s still trying to process it.

This was why Donghyuck didn’t want the space. This is why Donghyuck acted the way he did when Mark started dating Mina. Fuck, dating Mina. He had done that in front of Donghyuck and let him see that. He had told Donghyuck he was moving on, trying to and almost succeeding. Mark can’t even think of how that may have affected Donghyuck.

Shit.

Fucking _shit_.

This whole thing really is a mess. Donghyuck was right—he always is—they really are fucked up.

Tightening his hold on Jaemin, he says, “For what it’s worth, I won’t tell him you said anything.”

“Thank you,” Jaemin breathes.

“Come on.” He helps Jaemin to his feet and walks him out into the living room. Chenle is still there, reading one of his textbooks and Jungwoo is at the table going over paperwork. Both of them look up when Mark and Jaemin arrive. “Just lay down.”

Jaemin does as he’s told and settles onto the couch, his head in Chenle’s lap. Not even a second later, his eyes drift shut and he’s out like a light with Chenle running his fingers through his hair.

“You’re lucky I just went to the bathroom,” Chenle says to Mark with a faint smile. “I think he’s going to be here for a while.”

“I hope so.” Mark turns to Jungwoo. “I’m going to see Taeyong. I’ll be back in a bit. Call me if you need anything.”

He closes the door as softly as he can, as to not wake Jaemin up, and makes his way to the third floor. His shoes squeak against the stairs as he descends, his mind trying to figure out which piece of information is the most important to focus on.

Donghyuck.

It’s always Donghyuck.

Mark hasn’t even made it to the door before it’s opening and Taeyong steps out, gaze locked on him with his mouth pulled together in a tight line. That’s everything Mark needs to know that Taeyong heard exactly what went on two floors up.

“How long have you known?” he demands, picking up speed until he’s right in front of Taeyong.

“Come in,” is all Taeyong says before slipping back inside the apartment.

Jaehyun’s there, as well, lounging across one of the couches. He looks up when Mark enters and smiles. “Hey, Mark. How’s Donghyuck?”

“His temperature skyrocketed, but it’s stopped now,” he replies. “Taeyong, how long have you known? I know you did. Don’t lie to me, please.”

“I wouldn’t ever lie to you,” Taeyong says.

“Then, tell me.”

Sighing, Taeyong perches on the arm of the couch and gestures for Mark to sit down. He does at the dining table. “Donghyuck’s always been a bit difficult for me to read. Probably because he has so many barriers. But I’ve always been able to know he’s cared about you since the moment I met him. It wasn’t until that time at the hospital, when Hendery almost died, that he admitted it. Well, more to himself, but I was there and I heard the thought cross his mind and he told me he didn’t want you to know.”

“But why?” he whines. “I don’t get it.”

“And you won’t until you ask him. Look, I made a promise not to mention it, but now you know, so I guess there’s no secret. But I definitely won’t tell you the reason. That’s your mission to find out.”

“He won’t tell me.”

“Probably not. You’ll need to drag it out of him when he wakes up.”

Mark puts his hand to his forehead, an ache forming across his brow. Taeyong heads into the kitchen and comes back with a glass of water and some medicine. He takes it, quietly. When he looks back up, Jaehyun is watching him.

“And you? You must have felt it,” says Mark.

Shrugging, Jaehyun says, “Well, I could feel your bond and your love for each other, sure, but it’s not in my power to sort out what kind of love. If I didn’t know you two any better, I’d just assume it was how best friends care for one another, albeit a little stronger than most. But I do know you two, and I do know what’s going on, but, like Taeyong, I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“You should have. This would have been important to know.”

“Maybe, but it also could have ruined things more, scared Donghyuck off. He’s got his reasons, Mark. And those reasons are strictly formed around his love for you. If you want to know the truth, you have to get it yourself.”

He slumps down in his chair. He’s not pouting. He’s not. Okay, well, kind of, but only because he’s so tired of all of this. For once, he’d love it if someone just gave him a straight, bloody answer. It’s one thing to let him learn his lessons, it’s another to let him suffer. All he wants is for Taeyong to admit the truth so Mark can finally make a decision. Preferably, the right one.

Except, now, he needs to sort it out himself and he has no idea where to start. A lot of things have happened over the last hour and it’s just a lot. So much.

The only way to get the truth he so desperately wants is to talk to Donghyuck, but Donghyuck is still unconscious and Mark has no idea when he’s going to wake up—and he _will_ wake up. Mark doesn’t want to wait. His impatience is through the ceiling.

“I’m going to need to jump again,” he decides. “I’m not going to know any other way, and I need to convince him to wake up.”

“Normally, I’d agree, but,” Taeyong says, “Mark, you’ve only done it once before and we don’t know the consequences of doing it. What if you can’t get him to wake up? What happens to you?”

Mark frowns. “I get him to push me off that building again, I guess.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be.” He gets to his feet. “Our options are slim, Taeyong. I don’t have any other form of communication with him and he’s getting worse. If I don’t do this, things could go wrong and then what? We lose him? I’m not going to let that happen, Tae.”

Taeyong exhales sharply and shakes his head in complete resignation. “Fine, but not today. It’s already been emotional enough as it is, and Donghyuck’s struggled a bit, too.” When Mark opens his mouth to retort, Taeyong holds up a hand and raises his voice a bit. “Tomorrow, Mark. You’ll get your chance tomorrow. For tonight, just be there for him. And think about what you want to do because you have too many things to deal with. Mina being one of them.”

Shuffling his feet, he looks down at the floor and admits, “I’m going to break up with her. I can’t keep doing this.”

“Then, maybe,” Taeyong says, voice soft and controlled, “you should handle that first before you talk to Donghyuck, hm?”

Yeah, Mark thinks, that might be a good idea.

*

By the time Mark goes back up to the fifth floor, both Chenle and Jaemin are gone—replaced with Jeno—and Jungwoo is still sitting at the table with papers spread out across the surface. He doesn’t even look up as Mark takes off his shoes and goes to grab the spot next to his friend.

Jeno, the poor boy, had started the year off trying to go through the veterinary program only to find out that he’d have to put down animals when the time came. Definitely not something soft-hearted Jeno, with the ability to communicate with animals, could do. So, last month, he made the brave decision to drop that and move into journalism. Unfortunately, that put him behind a bit and now he’s struggling to catch up with all his year-mates.

On more than one occasion Mark’s read over his work, so he knows that whatever Jeno’s writing out now is surely going to end up in his hands eventually.

“I’m assuming Chenle and Jaemin are gone,” Mark says, peeking at Jeno’s work.

Jeno turns it away, ever the one to be nervous about his first drafts. “Yeah, Jaemin had class and Chenle had to go home. Jisung wanted to come, but his parents don’t want him staying out too late. He said he’d drop by tomorrow after school. Renjun’s in the bedroom if you want to join him. Just know he’s kind of in a mood.”

“Bad mood?”

“Sad mood,” corrects Jeno. “He’s taking this hard. We all are. But it’s worse when it’s Renjun because he’s always the one who has the cooler head.”

Mark nudges him. “And you.”

“I guess. I’d say you, too, but Donghyuck always seems to break down your walls,” Jeno says with a smile. “You only cry for him.”

Shoving at Jeno, he scoffs. “Okay, that’s enough.”

“It’s okay. I’d cry for Jaemin. I’d be a mess if he were on that bed.”

The playfulness drains out of him and Mark nods. He wishes no one were on that bed. Donghyuck or Jaemin or any of them. He just wants them all to be safe and healthy and, apparently, that’s too much to ask for. Life just has to keep sucker punching him when he’s down.

“Jaemin said he told you,” Jeno says, “about Donghyuck and his feelings.”

“Yeah, he did.”

“What are you going to do?”

Mark can’t stop the laugh from bubbling up out of him, broken and pitiful. He rubs at his eyes. “God, I don’t know. I don’t know at all. I wish he would have told me sooner. Maybe then we could have avoided this.” He gestures to the bedroom. “I guess I’m just going to have to talk to him about it.”

Jeno’s eyebrows lift. “You’re going to dream jump again?”

Nodding, he says, “Tomorrow, I think. I need to. I’m the only one who can talk to him and someone has to convince him that staying in that coma isn’t going to help anyone. I wish he wasn’t so stubborn.”

“Says the Leo,” chuckles Jeno. Mark shoves him again. “In all seriousness, I know what you mean, but it’s going to take hell of a lot of effort to make Donghyuck realize waking up is worth it. You going in and telling him that you love him and that you know he loves you isn’t going to help the situation.”

“I know,” he acknowledges. “That’s the problem. I don’t know how to talk to him anymore. All we do is bicker and now he’s in this state of mind where he doesn’t even want to do that. He just…He doesn’t want to talk, Jeno, and I don’t know what to do.”

Putting down his notebook, Jeno shifts so he’s facing Mark on the couch. “We both know what Donghyuck is like. He’s stubborn and he hates vulnerability, especially his own. But what’s the one thing he does honor?”

Mark pauses before it clicks. “Honesty.”

“Exactly.”

“But you just said—”

“You need to tell him everything. All that you can. This isn’t just a matter of saying ‘I love you’ and expecting him to accept that. There are too many things in your relationship that have burned holes and you need to patch them up.”

“Urgh, this isn’t going to be easy.”

Jeno laughs at that. “You thought it would be? This is Donghyuck we’re talking about. Look, I know you’ve talked and tried to be open with your communication, but you were still holding back because you didn’t want to scare him away or make your friendship worse. There are probably hundreds of things you kept your mouth shut on. Now’s the perfect time to tell him those things. Telling him you started dating Mina to move on is a surface-level excuse. Break it down. Make him listen. Maybe then you’ll have a chance.”

“Jeno’s right,” Jungwoo says from the table, startling them both. “If you want to make Donghyuck listen and understand, you need to be more specific with your honesty. Showing him that might make him do the same.”

“You think?”

Twirling the pen between his fingers, he says, “Donghyuck’s never been a liar, but he started doing it because he loved you. Because he thought it was the right choice _for you_. It’s probably so engrained in him that he’s going to be in denial until someone shakes him out of it. Just be a good example and show him what he can do. Don’t make him a liar again, Mark Lee.”

He doesn’t plan on it. All of this seems like a challenge. Something Donghyuck would jump at head first. Mark, on the other hand, tends to take challenges from a more tactical and careful approach. Too bad he has no time for that. He’s just going to have to take Jeno and Jungwoo’s word for it and try. That’s really all he can do at this point.

“I’m going to bring him home,” Mark promises.

Jungwoo smiles, slight and sad, and says, “I know you will.”

Standing up from the couch, Mark asks, “What are you working on?”

“Probably the other reason Donghyuck got so stressed he collapsed,” Jungwoo tells him with a sigh. When Mark lifts a brow, he elaborates, “I found out that my mother’s been stealing from Donghyuck’s trust fund. He should have access to it by now, but she didn’t inform him and he never thought to ask. So, now I’m working on a way to get the money back.”

“Oh, my god.” Mark leans over to scan over the numbers. None of it looks right. None of it looks legal. “How?”

Tossing his pen onto the pile of papers, Jungwoo says, “Taeil said he’d help out. He and I are going to go over the case and take my mom to court.”

“And Donghyuck knows?”

“Oh, yeah. I told him a couple days ago. He was coming back from visiting my mom and dad the night he collapsed.”

“Wait. He went to go _see_ her? He said he never wanted to go back there, ever.”

“He didn’t like the idea of putting my mom in jail and thought that maybe he could just ask for the money back. Clearly, that didn’t work. She hit him.”

Mark stills, blood rising to a boil. “I’m going to kill her,” he growls.

“Well, killing is off the table,” Jungwoo says, “but I’m going to get her to pay for everything she’s done.”

“Is there any way I can help?”

“Maybe. I’m meeting up with Taeil on Wednesday. Feel free to tag along if you want.”

“I want,” he states.

There’s a shuffle from down the hallway and Renjun appears. He seems tired, sad, and everything else everyone is feeling these days. Mark wants to tell him to go to bed, but he knows Renjun won’t listen to him.

“How is he?” Jungwoo asks.

“Fine,” Renjun replies. “Or, well, as fine as he can get. His temperature rose a bit, but not enough to call Kun over. Although, it’s worrying. The human body can only withstand so much heat.”

Jeno frowns. “But Donghyuck is a pyro. He should be fine, right?”

“Even Donghyuck has a limit. He’s still flesh and bone. His power lets him go higher than normal, but there’s still a cap to it.”

“What’s he at now?” asks Mark.

“One-fourteen.”

Jeno’s jaw drops. “Isn’t the highest a person can go before death one-oh-eight?”

“Something like that,” Mark says, brows furrowing. “But, like Renjun said, Donghyuck can go higher than an average human. Do we know what the danger level is?”

“Kun said maybe one-twenty—one-twenty-five, but even he isn’t sure, yet. All we can do it wait.”

Nodding, Mark steps away from the table and says, “I’ll sit with him for a bit. Why don’t you hang out here?”

“Yeah, sure.”

The machines beep at him when he enters the room, closing the door behind him. It’s calm. Maybe a little too calm. And despite the whirling and beeping of the machines, there’s a silence present that captures his ears and settles there, pressing down, as he makes his way to the chair beside the bed.

It doesn’t take him long to slip on the gloves, but it does take him a while to figure out if he should take Donghyuck’s hand. He wants to. Always has. But knowing what he knows now, it feels different. Mark can’t allow himself to hold Donghyuck’s hand as a friend when he knows they can be so much more. And, maybe, he’s overthinking—oh, he definitely is—but it’s a strange sort of thought that takes over his mind. If their places were reversed, would Donghyuck take his hand?

But he’s not going to dwell on it because, in the end, it doesn’t matter. His hand trembles as he takes Donghyuck’s in his and gives it a gentle squeeze. Heat sinks through the glove. He knows Donghyuck can’t feel him, can’t hear him, but he doesn’t care. He needs to do this for his own piece of mind.

He’s not really sure where to start. Words have never been easy to him, not unless they’re put into a song. Right now, however, he doesn’t need music, he needs Donghyuck.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry that it came to this. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you needed to hide things from me. I miss you.” Even though the backs of his eyes burn, he refuses to cry. “I miss you so much. And I know you said that you didn’t want to wake up, but I’m going to do it. I’m going to bring you back. You don’t get to give up this easily, you hear me?”

Inhaling a shaky breath, he adds, “I’m not letting you leave me. Not when I found out that we might have a chance. Donghyuck Lee, I love you, and I’m going to bring you back if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

And it’s scary how much he means that.

*

“Where are you going?”

Mark glances up from where he’s shoving on his shoes to find Jaemin at the end of the hallway. Dressed in one of Jeno’s oversized sweaters and his hair fluffy from his shower, he watches Mark with his arms crossed and eyebrows wrinkled. Probably because he knows Mark doesn’t have a morning class today. In fact, he’s not supposed to have class all day. Usually, on those days, he stays at home and catches up on work, but none of that is important, at the moment.

From his spot in the kitchen, Renjun looks up, spoon protruding from his lips. Even Jeno’s poked his head out. He wonders if they’re all keeping an eye on him because of Donghyuck, just like he keeps an eye on them even more now. None of them want something to go wrong with any of them. Still, Mark thinks it’s a little silly because he could just be going up to Donghyuck’s apartment. Then again, they usually all go together.

“I have to go meet Mina,” he says with a sigh as he straightens and places his baseball cap on his head. When Jaemin’s brows furrow even more, he adds, “I’m going to break up with her.”

“Shit,” Renjun says, spoon falling from his mouth and dropping into his bowl of cereal. Some of the milk splashes over.

Moving out from the bedroom, Jeno asks, “Wait, are you serious?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“When did you decide this?” Jaemin inquires.

Mark shrugs. “I mean, I guess I always knew it was inevitable, but I decided that day you told me to go see her. She knew it was coming, though, and bolted.”

“Prolonging the unavoidable,” Renjun puts in. “I don’t blame her. She really likes you. But I’m proud of you. I know this isn’t easy.”

“It’s not,” he agrees. “I do like her. I think I could have really learned to love her. But she isn’t the one I want and it’s unfair of me to drag her along while I’m waffling.”

“So, she knows that this is happening? She must, right?”

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Mark nods. “I’d imagine so? Like, she knew it was coming last time, so I would guess she knows now. It’s hard because I feel bad about doing it, especially when I have to watch her face while I do it, but I’m definitely not the kind of person to break up with someone over the phone, so I don’t have much choice.”

“Whether she wants to admit it or not, she’ll appreciate it,” Jeno says.

“I hope so. I’m expecting things to be severely rocky. It’s only going to get so much better when I get back.” Sarcasm dripping from his words.

“How so?” Jaemin asks.

Mark shoves his hands into his pockets, rocks back on his heels, and says, “I’m going to try dream jumping again.”

“Are you sure that’s safe? To do it again?”

Mark can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips. “You sound like Taeyong did when I told him I was going to try. And, honestly, I don’t know. All I know is that Donghyuck’s in trouble and I’m going to do everything in my power to get him back.”

“Aw, are you going to be his knight in shining armor?” Jaemin coos, pressing a hand to his heart.

Rolling his eyes, Mark pretends that his ears aren’t turning red. “Oh, please. As if Donghyuck needs that. What he needs is a kick in the ass.”

“Fair.”

“You’re coming right back?” Jeno asks.

“Yeah, right back.”

“And single?”

Mark snorts. “Yes, Jen, and single. Shall I go now or do you all have more questions? Because I need to go now while I still have my nerve.”

Shoving him toward the door, Jaemin says, “Shoo, shoo. Go! Please, just go.”

He laughs as the door closes behind him. When the laughter finally subsides, he glances upward. He hasn’t broken up with Mina yet, but already he feels like a weight’s off his shoulders.

Still, he has a lot to deal with when he comes back, including—but not limited to—a gorgeous golden boy in a coma four floors up.

On his way to the café he promised to meet Mina at, he tries his hardest not to overthink everything. He has one job and that’s it. He can’t let himself try to second guess this. Well, it’s not like he would. He knows he doesn’t and can’t be with Mina any longer, but the feeling of guilt is slightly overwhelming and, if he’s not careful, it might just end up suffocating him into not doing it today.

Mina is at their usual table when he arrives. The one at the back that hardly anyone can see because of a very large potted plant. It used to be their hideaway, the place they could knock knees and flirt with no one looking. Maybe, Mark thinks, he’s been ashamed of this whole relationship from the start.

No, he doesn’t want to think that.

He’s never been ashamed of Mina. Just over the fact that’s always had someone else in the back of his mind when they held hands or kissed or anything else.

Taking the seat across from her, he notices how nervous she looks. She’s been worrying her bottom lip until it’s red, and her eyes are wide as she blinks back at him, ready for what’s to come. He doesn’t want her to feel this horrible, so he offers her a smile. All she does is look down and wrap her hands around her iced americano.

“How are you?” he asks.

Mina shakes her head, her hair falling around her face like a curtain. “We both know why we’re here. Why don’t you just say what you want to say, Mark? You’re breaking up with me.”

“Yeah,” he mutters. “I am.”

Lifting her hair, eyes bright, she asks, “What I don’t get is why? I thought things were going really well between us. The past few months have been great and I just don’t get it.”

“Mina—”

“This is about Donghyuck, isn’t it? Because I don’t want him around?” she demands.

Mark sighs and looks away, not sure what else to say. Telling her that the reason he wants to break up is because he’s in love with someone else, especially when that person is Donghyuck, doesn’t seem like the smartest plan.

Part of him really thinks she deserves the truth. Everyone does, even if it isn’t what they want to hear, but Mark also believes that sometimes, for the sake of someone’s happiness, keeping things like that secret might be for the better.

The thing is, Mark doesn’t really think he can say he used Mina. At least, not completely. Because, yeah, he really did like her, and he really did see a future with her. It just turned out that his feelings weren’t matching up to hers fast enough. None of that is Mina’s fault. That’s all on Mark. But the last thing he wants is Mina feeling like she wasn’t good enough as a girlfriend. She is. For someone else.

“He’s dangerous, Mark,” she hisses and Mark can only shake his head. “He could hurt you! What if you get burned or something?”

“I already have been,” he admits, stopping Mina in her tracks. She stares at him, eyes blown wide and lips slightly parted.

Selfishly, he wants her to accept it and not ask any more questions. He doesn’t want to hurt her any more than he probably already has. She doesn’t deserve that.

“Then why would you even—you’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

The question shouldn’t shock Mark as much as it does. Eventually, he thinks, she would have gotten there, but he sure hoped it wasn’t going to be this quickly.

While he was set on not telling her the truth, he definitely isn’t going to lie to her. That’s another thing she doesn’t deserve.

“Yes.”

Mina sucks in a breath, quick and unsteady. Maybe she knew the truth and didn’t expect him to admit it. Maybe she was just taking stabs in the dark and hit something she never wanted to. Either way, she knows now and it’s rocked her back in her chair, speechless.

“How can you?” she asks, voice barely above a whisper. “How can you love someone like—like _him?_ ”

Frowning, he replies, “What do you mean ‘like him’?”

The smile on Mina’s lips is small, but it’s just as sharp as a needle. “You can’t honestly love him, Mark. All he’ll ever do is bring you pain. And I’m willing to bet that he already has. What the hell do you expect out of a relationship with a pyro?”

“Him being a pyro has nothing to do with who he is,” presses Mark, straightening in his chair so he can lean in and, hopefully, keep his voice down enough that people don’t overhear.

“Bullshit,” Mina snaps. “Being a pyro is everything he is. He was too unstable to even keep his body functioning.”

“Mina, that’s enough.”

“No! You’re dumping me for a murderer and you want me to just take it?”

Mark slams his hand on the table so hard everything rattles. Even his bones. Mina jumps and one of the waiters turns to look at them. Taking a deep breath, he forces himself to focus and calm down. He can’t act like this. Not right now. He has to keep a steady head because if he doesn’t then no one will.

“Donghyuck isn’t a murderer,” he manages, keeping his voice firm and calm. He shoots the waiter a glare until she turns away.

“He killed his parents, Mark.”

“By accident. He was a kid!”

“And you just told me he’s burned you before. Once? Twice? Three times?” She shakes her head. “What’s stopping him from killing you if he can’t even stop himself from hurting you?”

Mark clenches his fists, shoving them under his thighs so he can’t hit the table again. “You don’t know him like I do. Donghyuck would never hurt me intentionally.”

“Hurting you unintentionally is my issue here, Mark, but you don’t seem to realize that,” she says.

“No, I do. I just don’t care.”

“How the hell can’t you care? Mark, you don’t deserve to be constantly watching your back.”

“I don’t need to because Donghyuck watches my back for me.” Mina opens her mouth to retort and he cuts her off as quickly as he can. “Look, I’m not asking you to understand. Hell, I didn’t even want to tell you about my feelings for him. But what I _am_ asking for, is for you to just accept it. Nothing in the world is going to make me leave Donghyuck. No matter what argument you come up with.”

For a moment, Mina is silent. She studies his face, eyes still glowing and lips pursed. Finally, she stands up and says, “You must really love him then. If you’re willing to put yourself through hell for a crappy relationship you’re bound to have.”

“I really don’t think it’ll be all that crappy,” he replies.

Mina’s eyes narrow. “It will be if he never wakes up. And, at this point, I don’t think that’s about to happen. So, enjoy your terrible decision, Mark. I hope you’re very happy with yourself.”

Picking up her americano, Mina shoves back her chair and rushes out of the café in a blur. Mark sinks in his seat, hands over his face, trying to breathe.

For all the things Mark liked about Mina, this is not one of them. Her irrational hatred for Donghyuck is bothersome and irritating and, _yes_ , it grated on him even before all this because trying to convince her every single time got tiresome. There were times when he had simply given up because she wouldn’t stop. Mark can’t convince Mina to not be afraid if she has no intentions to not be afraid.

He wonders how and why he put up with it, why he thought it was something he needed to do. There are plenty of people in the world and he could have found someone to like who didn’t have these internal issues, but he kept Mina despite it.

And, maybe, Renjun was right and he was doing it because it kept a barrier up between him and Donghyuck. Otherwise, he’d like to think he’d put a stop to it all or just got rid of the person from his and Donghyuck’s life. In the end, he kept her. He continued to let her loathe Donghyuck for something out of his control.

Donghyuck has every right to be mad at him for that choice. He’s sort of mad at himself. It’s only fair.

Well, he thinks as he stands up, at least he doesn’t need to worry about it any longer. He’s not going to let this happen again. There’s no way he’ll make the mistake of bringing someone who feels that way into his life for as long as he lives. He’s not going to let someone break Donghyuck down into thinking he’s dangerous and not worth it because he’s anything but.

Now, he just has to convince Donghyuck of that, and hope to god that he wants to be convinced.

*

Jaemin’s already pulling him into a hug before the door can fully close. He appreciates it because, at the moment, he’s feeling like total crap and Jaemin gives good hugs. It may not make everything better, but it sure makes it feel that way for even just a minute.

“Single?”

Mark laughs into Jaemin’s shoulder and nods. “Yeah, single.”

“For now,” teases Jaemin as he steps back so Mark can get his shoes off.

“How is he?”

“Same old, same old,” he says. “His temperature rose a degree or two, but at least it’s not shooting up like it did before.”

“Good,” he breathes. “That’s good.”

“Are you still planning on jumping?”

The way he asks it is hesitant and when Mark peers up from finally kicking off his last shoe, he finds Jaemin with his lower lip caught between his teeth. From behind him, Renjun and Jeno step out, bookending his sides. Neither of them appear happy.

“I am,” he says, moving around them to step farther into the living room. “I have to.”

“Even though we have no idea how this will go?” asks Jeno.

Renjun frowns. “The last time you did it, you had to hold his hand and you got burned. He’s even hotter now. This might not be safe, anymore.”

“I know that you’re all worried, but this is something that needs to be done,” replies Mark.

“Needs? Or just a want?”

Exhaling sharply through his nose, Mark glances down the hallway. Chenle and Jisung have stuck their heads out. Both of them should be in school. Apparently, they took a leaf out of Mark’s book and decided skipping was worth it.

“If any of you had my power or any other power that could be used to communicate and help Hyuck, you’d use it in a heartbeat. I know you would,” he says. “I can do that. Don’t get in my way because you’d hate it if you could be helpful and someone stood in yours.”

“We just don’t want you to get hurt,” says Jaemin. “We want Hyuck back, but we don’t need you to get injured in the process. I don’t know what we’d do if we ended up with you both unconscious.”

Mark steps up to Jaemin, placing his hands on his shoulders, and smiles. “I’m going to do this whether you want me to or not. But I’d rather do it with support.”

“Fine.”

Renjun looks away and Jeno gives a small bob of the head.

“Good,” he says, starting down the hallway. “Now, let’s get this over with. I’m not coming back without answers and hopefully Donghyuck himself. You hear that, Lee?”

Donghyuck doesn’t reply. The machines beep at him as he sits in the chair, his friends fanning out around the bed. It’s a good thing he doesn’t really get performance anxiety. Then again, everyone else is sort of the last thing on his mind when he finally gets to focus in on Donghyuck.

He’s whipped. Let him be.

“Are you sure about this?” Jaemin asks as Mark reaches to take Donghyuck’s hand. He can already feel the heat curling toward his skin. He knows it’s going to hurt.

“Yeah,” he says. “Just, um, you might want to text Kun about this. And maybe Taeyong. For when I wake up, that is.”

Chenle nods and takes out his phone to do just that. “Be careful.”

“Well, here it goes.”

Just a touch has a choked scream aching to come out. It’s so damn hot that Mark’s pretty sure his skin is melting off, but he forces his fingers through Donghyuck’s and squeezes his eyes shut, attempting to ignore the pain and do what he came to do.

That small niggling feeling in the back of his mind isn’t as distant as it was the first time he tried this and he’s able to grasp onto it quicker than before. He feels his body slump onto the bed, all his muscles giving out, and then he’s falling.

By the time he’s aware enough to blink his eyes open, he’s on the roof of the community center. This time, things aren’t as pristine. The city around him is on fire. It’s crumbling under the heat and flames, the sky a bright gold that burns into Mark’s eyes. It’s horrifying, yet beautiful.

Tiny little fires have started along the concrete roof, nothing as disastrous as what’s going on around him. But it’s a warning. A warning that this is just the start and it’ll get worse as time goes on because in the distance those buildings are clinging to their structures, desperate to keep standing despite the flames latching onto every brick and window.

“You shouldn’t have come back.”

Mark jolts, spinning around. Donghyuck sits against the half-wall, knees pulled to his chest. He doesn’t seem all that different from the last time Mark saw him. Against the fire light Donghyuck’s eyes glow gold even more than they did before. They follow Mark’s movement as he takes a step toward him. The tiny fires crawl out of his way so he can sit down, too. Even in a dream, Donghyuck would make sure that fire never touched him.

“Well, I did,” says Mark.

“Stupid. And dangerous.”

“Two things we do very well.”

It’s hard to miss the way Donghyuck’s lips twitch, almost struggling to smile. However, it never forms and Donghyuck schools his features as he gazes out over the disaster before them.

For a moment, it’s silent. At least as silent as it can be because in the distance there’s the faint echo of a roaring fire in his ears. Donghyuck pulls at his knees to rest his chin on them. Mark wants him to talk, to open up, but he knows that won’t happen. So, instead, they sit side by side and let the world around them burn.

Until Mark decides to speak up. “You’re getting worse.”

“I know,” Donghyuck whispers, not sparing him a glance.

“Kun’s been trying to keep you stable, but we don’t know how long it’ll last. You need to come back to stop it.”

“You shouldn’t even be trying. I told you, I’ve accepted this.”

“I don’t want you to.”

Sighing, Donghyuck turns so he can look at Mark with his eyes alight. It stills all the air in his lungs. “I know you don’t want me to, but this is the way it is. I won’t be able to hurt anyone anymore.”

“You didn’t hurt people to begin with,” Mark says. “Your parents were an accident.”

“And what about you? I’ve hurt you.” He reaches out to take Mark’s hand to pull it over his lap. Gently, he run his fingers down the inside of Mark’s forearms. It shouldn’t be a noticeable touch, but it shakes Mark down to the core despite everything he’s learned from dream jumping. “More than once.”

“Not on purpose,” he says, watching Donghyuck’s fingers drift across his skin, from his elbow to his wrist—the same place he’s always burned whenever he’s held Donghyuck during his episodes. Even though the skin there tells no stories, healed and flawless, they both know. “I chose to do it.”

Donghyuck’s hand comes to a stop and wraps around his wrist. There’s warmth like there was never warmth before. He remembers the time he jumped into Donghyuck’s dream, the first and last time they kissed, and Donghyuck hadn’t kept his usual temperature then. This time, it’s there, just below the surface, and he wonders if that’s because of what’s happening with Donghyuck or if Mark’s powers are shifting somehow.

“I know,” Donghyuck says. “And I don’t want you to. You shouldn’t be getting hurt because of me. If I stick around, it’ll only get worse.”

“If you don’t stick around, I don’t know how I’ll survive.”

Donghyuck’s eyes snap up to meet Mark’s, lips slightly parted as if he hadn’t expected the honesty. The grip on Mark’s wrist tightens. After a second, his features rest and he lets go, leaving Mark with the urge to draw him back.

“You’ll find a way,” he tells Mark. “I know you will.”

“Then you have too much faith in me,” Mark replies. “Because I don’t want anything else in the world but you.”

He watches as Donghyuck’s muscles tense, his shoulders holding way too much tension to be comfortable. Fists clenched around his pants, Donghyuck refuses to look at him, gaze trained ahead. Mark can’t stop himself from taking Donghyuck’s hands and tugging on them until he gets the attention back because if he’s going to do this, he needs to know Donghyuck is listening.

“I’m not leaving you,” he insists, voice as firm and solid as he can get it. “I’m not letting you leave me, either, and I’m not going without you. There’s no way you’ll be able to convince me otherwise.”

“Mark—”

“No, listen to me. I broke up with Mina.”

Donghyuck stills, eyes blown wide. “Wh—what? When? Why?”

“I realized that I don’t like her like she likes me. That I like someone a lot more than her. That I still do.” He grips Donghyuck’s hands, not sure which one of them is shaking. He’s pretty sure it’s him. “I still really like you, Donghyuck, and if you think, for one second, that I’m leaving you here without a fight, then you have another think coming. You got that?”

There’s a beat, where Donghyuck simply stares at him as if he’s unsure of what to say. But then he’s slipping his hands from Mark’s with a shake of his head. “I can’t let you do this, Mark. I can’t. I said it once and I’ll say it again: I’m not what you want—”

“Bullshit,” he snaps, startling them both. “That’s bullshit and you know it. You can’t tell me how I feel. Only I can. You’re everything I could ever want, and I’m telling you, right now, that my feelings are still the same for you as they were before.”

“They must have changed at some point,” Donghyuck mutters.

“What do you mean?”

Running his fingers through his curls, he says, “Because you were with Mina for so long and she clearly meant a lot to you. You liked her, Mark. And you were willing to put our friendship aside because of her fear of me and—”

“Yes, I liked her,” he admits. “I did, but I found that, even if I liked her, it wouldn’t be enough for her and it definitely wouldn’t be enough for me because, every time I thought I was safe, you’d show up and ruin any progress I made.”

Donghyuck snorts and Mark raises to his knees, taking his face in his hands and forcing their eyes to meet again.

“No, seriously,” he insists. “What I like about her doesn’t compare to how I feel about you. It never will. As for her fear of you, I never accepted that. Admittedly, I didn’t fight it hard enough and, maybe, I should have just given up when I knew the truth and what it might do to us, but I couldn’t.” He swallows thickly, his thumbs brushing along the apples of Donghyuck’s cheeks as he blinks up at Mark. “Because it gave me a reason to create a barrier between us and I took it. Like a coward.”

Donghyuck’s voice is hoarse, nearly breaking, when he asks, “Why?”

“I knew that if I didn’t have a barrier, I would keep falling for you. Even deeper than before,” he whispers. “You told me you didn’t like me and I still liked you and I needed a reason to keep you away from me so I could help us both out. You have no idea how much it hurt me to be so far from you.”

“You think it was easy for me?” His tone lifts, hardening around the edges. His fingers curl around Mark’s and forces them down as his eyebrows draw together. “To watch you drift away time and time again. To have you date someone and replace me. And to pick someone who hates my existence after everything you told me—”

“I’m sorry,” he blurts, cutting Donghyuck off. “I’m sorry. I’m so, _so_ sorry. I made a mistake and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I thought if I did this, I could learn not to love you and then we could be friends again and everything would be okay, but it didn’t work out that way. Instead, it ended up going to shit and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Fingers still linked together, Donghyuck stares down at them, studying the way they intertwine like they’re perfect puzzle pieces. At least, that’s what Mark thinks. Holding Donghyuck’s hand sends his heart into a tizzy more than kissing Yeri or Mina ever did. Donghyuck does a lot more for him than anyone else that’s ever shown interest in him and he’s pretty sure it’ll be like that for the rest of his life.

“I know you don’t want to believe it,” he says. “I know you want to believe that this is better for everyone, but I’m telling you that it’s not. If you go through with this, if I lose you, I’m losing parts of myself that I’ll never get back. Things won’t be better, Donghyuck. They’ll be worse. I need you. Please, don’t do this.”

“You don’t know what I’ve gone through. All the hatred and the judgement. The pain. Pain _I’ve_ caused.” Donghyuck shakes his head. “I can’t do that to anyone, especially not to people I care about. And definitely not you.”

“Why? Why me, Hyuck?”

The expression he gets is pure shock, shaken up from the bottom of his spine to the top. Mark watches it jolt Donghyuck straight, golden eyes round and open. He doesn’t think Donghyuck will say it, admit to anything, but he hopes. God, does he hope. His heart is thrumming through him and he’s pretty sure Donghyuck can feel it through his fingertips.

When he decided to do this, he wasn’t planning on getting Donghyuck to confess, though it was definitely something he wished for. This was on him and his way to get through to Donghyuck, to prove how much he’s worth to Mark and to everyone else. Mark’s never believed Donghyuck to be stupid. He’s far from it. Nevertheless, he’s stubborn and, if he truly believes this is the best for everyone, he’s going to hold onto his choice for as long as he can.

It’s years of self-deprecation and doubt, Mark thinks. Years of it that he never realized was so engrained into everything Donghyuck does. Every decision is based on anyone else but himself. Mark’s never seriously thought about it. Still, it’s there when he thinks back on it.

All those people who told him he was dangerous, called him a monster, spread rumors about him—It was their fault for not seeing what Donghyuck is actually like. The boy who shoved suppressants down his throat like candy to make sure he wouldn’t harm anyone, the boy who smiled through the hurt and the pain and the harsh words, the boy who did his best to make sure that no one noticed how much it bothered him just to try and make everyone else happy.

That’s Donghyuck. That’s the boy Mark fell in love with. And he’s sure as hell not going to let Donghyuck leave him because those bastards couldn’t handle being nice for one moment. Mark isn’t going to let them win.

Yet, as Donghyuck stares up at him, Mark wonders if he feels the same. Obviously, he’s willing to toss in the towel, but only because he doesn’t realize that all his bad thoughts about himself aren’t true in the slightest, because someone repeated it to him over and over until it was so stuck in his head and now he just can’t shake it.

Mark hopes that he can help Donghyuck see what’s really worth it in life. If Donghyuck is willing to open up to him and trust him again. He knows that might be difficult given all the circumstances, but his heart holds its breath and waits.

The inhale of air Donghyuck takes is shaky at best and Mark can practically hear it rattling inside his chest. The fingers he’s holding rotate just slightly to get a better grip, to link together more firmly, and Mark’s heart stutters.

“Because,” Donghyuck murmurs, “I care about you. More than I probably should.”

It’s an admission he should have been prepared for, yet wasn’t. It hits him hard and Mark isn’t sure what to say or what to do, so he sits there with Donghyuck’s hands in his, watching as color rises underneath Donghyuck’s cheeks when he ducks his head.

Mark isn’t going to push it. He can’t afford to have Donghyuck pull away from him and lose all this progress. Instead, he bites his lip and attempts to get his heart under control. It may not be an ‘I like you’ or an ‘I love you’, but it’s enough to light a spark in him because Donghyuck’s never said those words to him before and it feels like something good.

“The night that I met Mina,” Donghyuck starts, a little hesitant and slow, “did you sleep with her?”

Blinking, Mark lets the question settle in. He might not be able to feel it because of the dream, but Mark is pretty sure his ears are red. And maybe his face, as well.

Clearing his throat, he forces himself to look at Donghyuck, who is still refusing to look back. “Yeah, I did. But it was—” He cuts himself off when the embarrassment chokes him.

Finally, Donghyuck glances to him, eyebrows furrowed and head slightly tilted. He looks cute, even with the glowing eyes. “What?”

“I don’t know,” he mutters. “I just thought I needed to. Like it was the only way to move on. It wasn’t like I really wanted to.”

“Well, clearly you wanted it enough since you were able to stick it in her,” grumbles Donghyuck.

Gaping, Mark hits him with his shoulder with a, “Hyuck, seriously?”

Donghyuck shrugs, a smile tugging at his lips. Leave it to him to make it seem as unromantic as possible. Not that Mark really cares. This is the spark of life in Donghyuck he’s been missing the last few days. Maybe even the past year.

“Was that the first time?”

Nodding, he says, “Yeah. Held it off for as long as possible without her thinking something was seriously wrong with me. First and last.” He takes a deep breath, knowing he may regret his next few words. But he knows he has to say them. “It—I just—I kind of wanted my first time to be with you.”

Donghyuck’s head snaps his way, cheeks redder than Mark’s ever seen them. “You wanted _me_ to stick it in you?”

“Donghyuck!” He covers his face with his one of his hands because his other one is still wrapped up with Donghyuck’s and he sure isn’t going to let go any time soon. “Urgh, I don’t know. I don’t care either way. I just wanted you. And I knew— _thought_ —I couldn’t have you, so I tried to force myself to move on. I kind of regret it. I wish I hadn’t done it.”

“Thought,” Donghyuck mutters.

“Hm?”

“You said you ‘thought’ you couldn’t have me.”

Mark purses his lips, thinking carefully over his next few words. “If you weren’t a pyro, would you have wanted me?”

Gold eyes come up to meet his. “Yes.”

It’s impossible to ignore the hammering of his heart, the blood pounding in his ears. He wants to yank on Donghyuck’s hand and bring him closer. Hell, he wants to kiss him so badly it physically hurts. He doesn’t do it, though. He knows, deep down, Donghyuck would stop him. It may be another confession, but it’s not enough of one to let all the walls fall and Mark isn’t about to do something stupid to build them back up.

“I didn’t know about the shirt,” he blurts, trying to shift the conversation and not give Donghyuck a chance to shrink away on him.

Donghyuck blinks. “What shirt?”

“The one Mina was wearing when she came out. I told her to find something to wear when I went to get the door, only to find you on the other side. I still have your things at my place. Brought them with me in case you ever decided to stay over again. I don’t know. Call it wishful thinking. But she must have found them and I swear to god that I never would have let her wear it if I had known for even a second.”

Donghyuck’s lips are slightly parted as he scans Mark’s face. He’s not sure for what exactly. Maybe to see if he’s lying, or maybe a reason as to why Mark blurted it out in the first place. He must find it because his features visibly soften and a small, airy chuckle escapes him as he shakes his head.

“Fuck, Mark. You really are something.”

“No, I just really like you.”

If Donghyuck could go any redder, he just did. Mark’s not sure, but he thinks this might be the cutest look on him ever. Donghyuck shy and bashful and unsure of how to respond because he’s so flustered. Mark isn’t a flirter, but he sure as heck is someone who isn’t shameful over what he loves. If Donghyuck wants honesty, he’s going to get all the honesty.

“And I’ll still like you, even if you’re a pyro,” Mark continues. “I’m not scared of it and I don’t hate it and I love every part of you, Hyuck. Nothing will ever change that. Being a pyro is just another thing I love about you.”

“I’ve hurt people—”

“And so have plenty of other people, who only have their words and fists,” he counters.

“This is different.”

Mark shakes his head. “No, it isn’t. Whatever you need, Hyuck, I’ll help you get it. I’m here for you no matter what happens.”

“While I appreciate that,” Donghyuck says, taking his hand away from Mark’s grasp, “you can’t help me.”

“Because you won’t let me.”

“Because you shouldn’t be here in the first place!” Mark flinches and Donghyuck sighs, burying his face in his hands. “I get it, Mark. I understand that’s how you feel and how you want it, but I can’t ask that of you. I can’t let you destroy yourself for me.”

Mark frowns. “You aren’t asking or letting me do anything. I’m doing it on my own.”

“And that’s the problem,” Donghyuck snaps. He stumbles to his feet and throws out his hands, gesturing to the fire around them. “This is my world, Mark! This will always be my world. Fire and destruction, and you’re stupid if you think I’d let you anywhere near that. I’m protecting you!”

“I don’t want protection! I want you!”

“Well, I don’t want you!”

The words slap him in the face and Mark recoils. Even Donghyuck does, too. He presses a hand to his mouth, as if he can’t believe he said what he did, golden eyes flashing, and he spins away. With numb legs, Mark lifts himself to his feet and steps over to Donghyuck. Even when he tries to turn Donghyuck his way, Donghyuck fight back to keep his face hidden beneath his hands.

“Hyuck, I…” His voice trails off as Donghyuck finally gives in and turns.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just—Mark, I need to keep you safe.”

Mark frowns. “By pushing me away? I thought we found out that was a bad way to handle things.”

“You might not understand since your powers can’t hurt anyone, but this is what’s best,” Donghyuck says. He’s quiet, albeit a little firm. “I don’t have much in my life except the friends I call family, and I’m not willing to take a gamble on them. I’m not coming back only to hurt them. And you are,” a ghost of a smile flits across his face so fast that Mark barely catches it, “so important to me. Please, don’t ask me to risk hurting you, Mark. I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”

“And I won’t let you burn away in here,” he states.

Donghyuck groans. “Why won’t you listen to me? I’m doing what’s best for you!”

“No, you’re doing this because you’re scared! And I get it, Hyuck. I do. But because you’re scared, all of this is happening. If you just accept the cards you’ve been dealt, things might be better.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Don’t I? I met Chanyeol. He said he was mentoring you. He seems to have a handle on his powers, so I don’t understand why you won’t let him continue to teach you so that you can have control, too.”

Taking a step back, Donghyuck crosses his arms and says, “He wants me to do something I can’t do.”

“What’s that?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“God damn it, Donghyuck,” Mark says, throwing up his hands in frustration. “What happened to honesty?”

“I’m giving you what I can. He’s asking for too much and I doubt it’ll even work at this point.”

“You won’t know until you try.”

“I can’t,” says Donghyuck. “I can’t and you need to go.”

Furrowing his brow, he says, “You can’t be serious. I’m not leaving until you come back with me.”

“You need to go now before something happens to you. It’s getting worse in here. I’m not letting you stay, so you need to go. Now.”

Behind him, one of the buildings moans, long and loud, the sound of bending metal and shattering glass. It tilts to the side until the floors crumble one by one, collapsing into the fire around it.

“Do you get it now?” Donghyuck asks, snatching Mark’s attention from the fallen building. “It’s not safe for you here. It’s not safe for you to be with me. So, do us both a favor, and just wake up, Mark.”

Stepping closer and taking Donghyuck’s face in his hands, he says, “You may think this is a good idea, but if you don’t come back, Hyuck, you’re hurting me more than your fire ever could. And if you don’t like seeing me hurt, imagine how I feel right now, looking at you. You, who’s keeping all this burden to yourself and forcing yourself to give up and leave us. Leave me.”

His eyes are bright, molten gold as he says, “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

“Yes, I am. I’m asking for you, and only you. As you are.” He presses his forehead to Donghyuck’s, their noses brushing. “If you think you can push me out and I won’t come back, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Fucking stubborn,” Donghyuck mutters, his breath drifting over Mark’s lips. There’s so close and, if he wanted to, he could steal the kiss he was thinking about earlier.

“As if you aren’t.”

Reaching up, Donghyuck places his hands over Mark’s and leans back to look him in the eye. “I know that you know how I feel about you.”

Mark’s heart stumbles to a stop. “I—”

“Just think of that when you remember why I did this,” he says. “Because I’m doing this for you, Canada. You need to go.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“Mark, I swear to god—”

“No, you can’t make me.”

Donghyuck offers him a sad smile. “Yes, I can.” His hands grip Mark’s tighter. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Wh—what are you talking about?”

“Goodbye, Mark.”

His hands erupt into flames, encasing Mark’s as well. He feels the heat, the pain, and he wrenches back, his whole body falling and then suddenly Donghyuck’s not there and there’s no fire. Just the bare walls of Donghyuck’s room and too many eyes watching him.

“Mark, give me your hands. Now,” Kun snaps.

Doing as he’s told, he holds out his hands only to find them completely marred, burned, and blistered. Kun seizes them, dragging him away from the bed in such a quick movement that Mark can barely get his feet under him and the chair clatters to the floor.

Jaemin bursts into the room with the fire extinguisher. Clouds of white erupt from the end, directed at the bed. Mark opens his mouth to tell him to stop, but he finally sees it. From the tips of his fingers to the crook of his elbow, Donghyuck’s on fire. That is, until Jaemin puts it out.

“What happened?” he croaks, throat dry.

“One minute you were out and the next you were awake and Donghyuck was on fire,” Kun says, working on healing every inch of skin. After a moment, he lets go.

Taeyong comes into his line of sight. “Are you okay?”

“As okay as I’m going to be.”

“What happened in there?”

When Mark hangs his head, Jaemin asks, “You couldn’t convince him, could you?”

“No, I couldn’t,” he confesses.

“Did he tell you? How he felt?”

He grimaces as he looks down on his hands, healed and healthy. He wonders if Donghyuck knew that every time Mark dream jumped, he got burned. He probably does. There’s no way Donghyuck didn’t think of it. Plus, he used his fire to shock Mark awake, so there’s a case he expected that heat to travel into reality.

He’ll go through heaven and hellfire to make sure Mark can’t bring him back on the off-chance he’ll severely or mortally injure him, but he’ll give him a small burn to wake him up. Sure, Mark thinks, that makes sense. It’s a good thing Kun was around, unless Donghyuck knew he would be. Possibly did. Donghyuck’s sort of like that.

“He already knew I knew,” Mark says. “He’s doing this because of how he feels about me, and how much he cares about you guys. I honestly thought we were getting somewhere. Then it all came crashing down. Told me he was doing this to protect me and that I wouldn’t understand.”

Taeyong puts his arm around his shoulders, tucking him into a half-hug. “I’m sorry. I wish I knew what to do.”

Mark wishes that, too. If anyone were to have answers, it would be Taeyong, and the fact that he doesn’t makes the whole thing seem that much more hopeless.

The truth is, Donghyuck isn’t going to give in unless he thinks it’s worth it. Right now, he doesn’t think it is because he doesn’t think he’s worth the chance. He’s wrong, obviously, but Donghyuck isn’t going to accept that so long as everyone is safe and he’s the only one suffering. Well, as safe and non-suffering as they can get. Mark doesn’t feel happy. Far from it. He feels like Donghyuck’s burning his heart up along with himself in that bed.

It’s unfair. Donghyuck has potential. He has a life and a family waiting for him to wake up. All Mark wants is a chance to be with him and he can’t do that unless Donghyuck wants that, too. And, maybe, he does, but that want isn’t as loud as his want to keep everyone safe from himself.

Mark thinks that if Donghyuck wanted to, really wanted to, he could beat this and come out better than ever. Besides, there have been other pyros that haven’t needed to resort to this. Chanyeol being one of them.

Then it hits him.

“Actually, you might be able to help me.”

Taeyong tilts his head. “What do you need?”

“Donghyuck said that there was a way to control his powers and Chanyeol told him how to do it,” Mark explains.

Renjun frowns from the other side of the bed. “That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

“It is, but Donghyuck said he couldn’t do it, that he didn’t think it would work at this point. He couldn’t even tell me what it was. I need to see Chanyeol. Maybe I can figure it out for him.”

“I’ll call him and see if he can meet with you tomorrow morning,” says Taeyong and Mark thanks him. “In the meantime, we need to figure out what to do with Donghyuck.”

“What do you mean?”

“His temperature is too high,” Kun replies in Taeyong’s stead. “It’s starting to get dangerous. Not to mention that little fire show he had. If he does that again, well, I don’t know what to do.”

From the corner, Jisung speaks up, “Maybe I can try?”

“Try what?” Chenle asks.

“My power cancels out someone else’s, right? Maybe I can hold his hand, slow the process down,” he offers. “I don’t know how long I’d be able to do it for, but it’s worth a shot, right?”

“If you touch him, you’ll get burned,” reminds Jaemin.

Jisung shakes his head. “I don’t think I will. The heat comes from his powers, and the last time I touched him his heat diminished quite a bit. I think I’d be fine, actually. I want to try. Please, I want to help.”

They all exchange glances. Mark can feel it throughout the room that they don’t want to put their youngest up for the task, but there might not be another option and they’re running out of time. If they don’t come up with something soon, Donghyuck’s going to burn out. There’s very little choice in the matter, and it’s not such a bad plan.

Without a word, Jisung corrects the chair Mark knocked over and sits down. No one stops him when he hovers his hand over Donghyuck’s, testing the water. Then he slips his hand through Donghyuck’s and sighs. Full relief. No burning.

Mark can’t help himself from being a little envious. Just a bit. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Jisung answers. “I think I’ll be fine. I can feel a bit of heat, but not enough to hurt me. I think we’re okay?”

Kun, monitoring the machines, nods. “It’s lowering. Not a lot. We’re still in a bit of trouble, but it gives us time.”

“That’s all we need,” Mark says. “A little more time is everything.”

“Do you really think we can save him?” Jeno asks, almost hesitantly.

Mark doesn’t want quitter talk, the lack of hope, but he understands where Jeno’s coming from. They’re buried deep and it’s not looking so good.

Eyeing Donghyuck’s sleeping form, Mark can only say, “I hope so. Because if we can’t, I’m not sure what’ll happen.”

*

Being back in the Red-light District is like being in a replaying nightmare. Each time, Mark dislikes it more and more. There’s some lady watching him from an alleyway and he spins away, hoping that miniscule second doesn’t make her think she can come over. He’s been banging on the door of the Black Pearl Club for the last couple of minutes and he’s really starting to think no one is down there.

“Come on,” he grumbles, slamming his fist against the door once more.

Taeyong had told him the time and place. All Mark had to do was show up. Apparently, Chanyeol didn’t get the message because he’s nowhere to be seen.

After another moment, Mark kicks the door and starts to turn away because, _no_ , he’s not going to wait for them any longer while he has some lady eyeing him a few feet away like he’s some kind of slab of meat.

“If you’re looking for a good time, why don’t you come hang out with me?” she offers, voice a little rough from the cigarette in her hand.

Mark doesn’t pay her any mind, but then she steps forward and he stutters, “I-I’m actually good. So good. It’s cool. I’m, like, totally good.”

Before she can respond the door swings open and Baekhyun is there. His sharp eyes narrow at the lady and he barks, “Touch him and I blind you.”

She hisses and stalks away.

“Sorry,” Baekhyun says, holding open the door for Mark to slip inside. “Lost track of time and had headphones in. Come on, Chanyeol’s in the backroom.”

Following, Mark tries not to look around the club. All it does is bring back memories of Jeno and underground fighting and Donghyuck passed out on the sidewalk, burning like a star about to explode. So, he keeps his eyes down and travels through the dimly lit room into the backroom that, honestly, isn’t that much brighter. Mark wonders if it hurts their eyes.

At the desk, Chanyeol smiles. “Ah, Mark. Nice to see you.”

“We really need to stop bringing underaged kids into the club,” grumbles Baekhyun, as he steps around Chanyeol to grab a mug of what looks to be coffee.

“Yeah, well, we don’t have anywhere else to meet, so here we are. Please, Mark, sit.” When Mark does, he links his fingers together on the desk top and asks, “What can I help you with?”

Baekhyun backs into one of the corners, sipping on his drink. Mark doesn’t particularly like the position because now he has someone looking over his shoulder, but he’s definitely not going to tell Baekhyun that. He’s seen him use his powers and, _yeah_ , he’s a bit terrified to go blind.

“I need to know what you were teaching Donghyuck,” Mark says, shifting slightly in the chair as Chanyeol scans every inch of him, assessing him.

“Control,” he replies.

Well, duh. “I-I know that part. I just mean…Donghyuck said that you told him there was a way to fix his powers, give him more control, but he couldn’t do it. Or that he didn’t think it would work right now. Or, well, I don’t know. But what was it?”

“Donghyuck said? Isn’t the brat still unconscious?” asks Baekhyun, eyebrow cocked.

Mark nods. “Yeah, he is, but I used my powers to communicate with him.”

“How?”

“Dream jumping.”

Baekhyun’s lips part just slightly and he breathes out an, “Of course.”

“He said what you,” he points to Chanyeol, “asked for was too much and I need to know what it is. Maybe I can help him or convince him to try.”

There’s a moment, when Chanyeol glances to Baekhyun and passes some sort of message to him. Baekhyun shrugs and Chanyeol sighs, leaning back in his chair.

“Do you remember when I said he was suppressing his emotions to suppress his fire? Well, Donghyuck’s powers don’t work because he’s over-emotional. It works because he’s not emotional enough.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that he’s built up so much of a block, pushed down his emotions and powers too much, that now he’s overflowing,” elaborates Chanyeol. “Or overheating, I suppose.”

“So, he needs to do what? Let go of his emotions?” Mark asks, tilting his head.

Nodding, Chanyeol says, “I guess the best way to say it would be ‘he needs to accept his emotions’. Donghyuck’s got a lot of walls. If he can open up about everything, he might just survive this.”

“Open up about what, though? He’s already admitted to being scared, told me his fears. What else is there?”

The look he gets is full of mirth, lips quirked into a smirk and eyes sparkling. Mark doesn’t like it one bit. He’s seen that expression on Donghyuck before and it always means trouble. “Think about it.”

He does, but nothing really strikes at him. Donghyuck’s never been open. Not completely. So, sometimes, Mark isn’t sure what he could or couldn’t be telling him, in general. Over the last few days, the only thing he’s been able to gather are Donghyuck’s reasons for wanting to give into his powers and the situation as a whole. His fears speak loud and Mark can hear them, maybe even understand them a little more.

Then it hits him and he closes his eyes, sighing through his nose. When he opens them, Chanyeol is smiling with all his teeth visible. Out of all the things Donghyuck needs to do, Mark thinks this is the one thing he’d never allow himself to do. Not with these circumstances.

That’s exactly what he tells Chanyeol. “He’s not going to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Admit his feelings for me.”

“You knew?” Baekhyun asks, not even bothering to hide his shock.

Okay, that’s warranted giving the fact that Mark is completely oblivious and often times an idiot. Still, he bristles. “Yeah, I know.” He sinks a little as he realizes that he didn’t figure it out. Jaemin told him. Oh, well. “And he did admit it. Kind of. He said that I knew how he felt about me. So, that’s an admittance, isn’t it?”

“No, not really,” says Chanyeol. “All he’s doing is accepting you know it. The thing is, Donghyuck needs to accept it completely. That means confessing to your face. His love for you is the one thing that he’s kept locked down inside him the longest. Which means, it’ll have the most impact once he lets it out. He’s taking the coward’s way out. No reason to tell you if you already know.”

“Oh.” Mark can’t help but deflating even more. “I can’t get him to say it, though. There’s no way.”

“Do you love him?”

Startled, Mark glances at Baekhyun, who whispered the question. For once, he doesn’t look so sharp and cold. He looks open, his eyes soft. Mark kind of prefers him this way.

“Yeah,” he says, “I do.”

Pushing off the wall, Baekhyun perches himself on the edge of the desk. “Chanyeol, get out.”

“What? Why?”

Shooting Chanyeol a look over his shoulder, he orders, “Get out.”

With a huff, Chanyeol stands and leaves the room. It isn’t until the door is closed that Mark feels the shift in the room. It’s heavy and slightly terrifying. He doesn’t talk with Baekhyun, well, ever. This is totally odd and Mark can’t shake that feeling. Even still, he looks up at Baekhyun, waiting.

“Chanyeol is good at a few things,” Baekhyun starts. “He’s a good pyro, good friend, and he’s great at giving advice, but only to other pyros. The truth is, he can’t help you with this because he doesn’t know what it’s like to be the person in love with a pyro.”

That hits hard against Mark’s heart. “And that’s you?”

“Look, I’m not the best at advice, either, but I like to think that, over the last several years of being in Chanyeol’s life, I can tell you something that might help.” Placing his mug on the surface with a clatter, he says, “There’s always going to be one thing you have to accept when being in a pyro’s life.”

“What’s that?”

“They’ll always believe themselves to be dangerous. Chanyeol may act like he’s over that hump in his life, but he’s not. He’ll never shake it. Any time he loses just a little bit of control, he blames himself. I’m willing to bet the brat is like that.”

Mark nods. “Yeah, he is. A lot, actually. He always thinks he’s going to hurt someone or kill someone because his parents died in a fire he accidently started.”

“That’s going to haunt him, for a while. But all you need to do is convince him that he’s worthy of love and second chances, and you need to prove to him that loving you is what can save you both.”

“But I don’t know if I can. Donghyuck’s stubborn. He’ll—”

“Hell, all pyrokinetics are. That’s their thing. That, and being hotheads,” he says, waving a hand. “He’s not going to want to admit it because that makes him feel vulnerable. He’s grown up thinking his way of life gives him the most control, when it’s doing the exact opposite. He’s not going to know what real control feels like and that’s going to scare him. You need to make sure he knows it’s okay. He might not want this whole thing to be over because he’s worried about the unknown of it all. Does he like not knowing things?”

Scoffing, Mark shakes his head. “Not at all. He’s always known everything. Even when there’s no way he should.”

“Then this is terrifying to him in more ways than one,” says Baekhyun. “Talking someone down isn’t always the easiest. It’s even harder when you love them. Donghyuck isn’t always going to hate himself. He’ll wallow, but not always. Just look at Chanyeol. You just have to be patient, and convince him it’s okay. Things will work out. If he’s willing to let them.”

“And if he isn’t?”

Baekhyun smiles slightly. “Trust me, if he has a boy like you loving him, he’ll be willing. Stick with him, kid, that’s the best you can do. And I have faith you’ll come through.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been where you are, and I know what it’s like. Loving a pyro isn’t easy, but it has its bonus, I think. Don’t let go of him. He’s a keeper.”

Mark coughs a laugh. “You call him a brat?”

“So was I at his age. I like him. Don’t you dare lose him.”

That makes him smile. “Don’t worry. I won’t.”

“Good. Now, get out. I have things to do.”

Mark starts for the door as Baekhyun turns around to pick up one of the books on the table that Chanyeol has been scribbling in. With his hand on the knob, he says, “Hey, Baekhyun?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

Baekhyun glances at him. “Just get him back, Mark.”

“I will.”

There’s one thing Mark knows more than anything when he finally leaves the club, and that is, he’s not giving up. It isn’t like he ever planned to. He was always going to keep trying, not matter what. But he has to admit, things haven’t been looking up for a while. At least, now, he has an idea of where to go from here. If he has to persuade Donghyuck that opening up will save his life and put an end to all of this, he’s going to do it.

*

About an hour after getting back from the club, Jungwoo texts him to meet him at the apartment. Mark isn’t a hundred percent sure how he can be of help with Donghyuck’s trust fund case, but he wants to be there, regardless, because if Donghyuck can’t be there himself, Mark figures he can maybe fill in that space for him.

So, there they are, at the dining table, with files out and paperwork Mark doesn’t fully understand, as Taeil and Jungwoo discuss the next course of action. Mark kind of wishes he had taken some kind of course that would explain all the nonsense in front of him. For now, he just has to trust all of Taeil’s legal jargon.

Dark bags hang below Taeil’s eyes as he says, “We can offer a settlement—”

“I don’t want to settle,” interrupts Jungwoo. “She’s had more than enough time to fix this, and Donghyuck’s already said he’d see her in court, apparently. So, that’s what we’re doing.”

“You might not get it all back,” Taeil says. “Things like this are tricky. I’m sure we can get the majority, though. And whatever’s left in the account will go to him. I’ve already suggested to freeze the account. She can’t access it right now.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Mark eyes the sheets of paper, the ones that show just how much money’s been taken out of the account over the course of seven years. It’s a lot. Mark’s almost surprised that there’s still some left. Then again, this is from two parents, who had fairly decent careers. Even if they got the majority back, Donghyuck would be set for life. He’d make it last.

There’s one thing that’s always bothers Mark and that’s the fact that everyone seems to think they can get the better of Donghyuck, to shove him down as far as they can and laugh at him. It’s not fair, and it always backlashes. Donghyuck may not be a fighter with his fists, but he finds other ways to come out on top. Through words or other means, Donghyuck really isn’t one to mess with.

Well, that used to be true. Mark still thinks it is, but these days it’s hard to tell because Donghyuck’s all but given into all the bullshit people keep saying about him.

He can’t dwell on it. All he can do right now is find a way to fix it.

Glancing down the hall, he tries to not think about all of the times he’s seen Donghyuck walk out of his room, healthy and awake. Right now, he’s anything but. Jisung still sits at his bedside, hand in Donghyuck’s, and waiting for…well, something. They aren’t sure what.

For Donghyuck to wake up? For it to get to a point Jisung can’t hold his hand any longer? For something else to go horribly, horribly wrong?

“Do you think this will stand up in court?” Mark asks.

Taeil nods. “I think so. It’s a pretty open and shut case. I mean, she’s been stealing from his trust fund. Not to mention the times she tried to get rid of him, the abuse. I think we’re pretty set. Your parents are going to take a major hit, Jungwoo. We’re talking fines and jail time. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes,” Jungwoo says with finality. “As far as I’m concerned, I don’t want anything to do with them. Donghyuck’s the only family I have and I’m going to protect him as much as I can.”

Mark really admires Jungwoo. It takes a lot of courage to go against your parents. It’s even harder when those parents took care of you. From what Mark’s gathered over the years, Jungwoo’s parents never used to be this bitter and vindictive. They used to care and have compassion and they loved their son with all their heart. But bad situations can turn even the nicest people and Mark’s pretty sure that they’re not going to give up. They might try to convince Jungwoo to, but they won’t do it themselves.

It’s somewhat disappointing and very sad because Mark can’t even begin to understand what’s going through their minds. He tries to imagine his own parents doing something like this and falls short because it just doesn’t seem right. He wonders if Jungwoo felt the same when he started realizing what was going on in the house.

No one wants to believe the parents they’ve loved for years can do something so monstrous. Yet here they are, staring the evidence in the face. Mark may not understand the legal part of it all, but he knows this is bad and it’s definitely going to hit Jungwoo’s parents hard.

“I’ll inform her tomorrow if you’re ready to proceed. The only thing is, we sort of need Donghyuck to make any sort of dent in this,” says Taeil.

Mark frowns. “You can’t do it without him?”

“I can, but it’ll take more time. We won’t worry about that just yet, though. I still need to get us a court date. Until then, we’re just going to have to cross our fingers and toes that Donghyuck wakes up. And soon.” He shuffles all the files and papers together and stands up. “Well, I’ll take all this and get started. I’ll call you if anything changes.”

“Thank you, Taeil,” Jungwoo says, walking him out. When the door is closed, he sighs, running his fingers through his hair so it becomes even fluffier than before. “This is going to be a nightmare.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with all this?” Mark asks.

Taking his original spot at the table, he says, “Surprisingly, I am. I think, over the last few years, I’ve sort of given up on them. I know that sounds bad, but they never tried with Donghyuck and they’ve always been so pessimistic, so angry. I don’t want that in my life. What I do want is Donghyuck to be happy. I’d do anything for him. I’m sure you’d understand that.”

Mark tries to ignore the way his ears warm at that. “Yeah, I do.”

“It’s odd, you know,” Jungwoo starts, glancing at the wall wistfully. “I grew up with Donghyuck as a cousin. We didn’t see each other a lot because he wasn’t always around, having lived in a different place, so we were close, but not that close. After what happened with his parents, though, I just felt like I needed to be there for him. He’s family. And the more time we spend together, the more he becomes less like a cousin and more like the younger brother I’ve always wanted.”

Smiling, Mark says, “I know he thinks of you as his brother. He loves you a lot. He’d do anything for you.”

“That’s the problem,” Jungwoo mutters. “He’d do anything for the people he cares about. Even if that means taking himself out of the equation.”

The smile slips from Mark’s face, blood running cold. Jungwoo isn’t wrong. That’s exactly what Donghyuck’s thinking, planning. It’s brave, but so, _so_ stupid. None of them asked him to do this.

“He’s really struggling,” Mark admits.

Jungwoo nods. “I know. Taeyong’s told me. I sit there, every night, hoping he’ll wake up and choose to be with me, with us, instead of whatever the fuck he’s somehow decided on. I know he can’t hear me, but I talk to him. Try to convince him. The sun comes up and he’s still in a coma.”

“I’m sorry. I wish I knew a better way. I wish I could get him to wake up.”

“This isn’t your fault, Mark. And the only thing you’ve done is help as much as you can. I can’t be mad at you for that. In fact, I’m extremely grateful. At this point, it’s all on Donghyuck and what he wants.” Jungwoo presses a hand to his face. “I just wish it was to come back to us.”

Mark’s heart squeezes. He wants to tell Jungwoo that he agrees. Wants to tell him that he won’t stop trying until the very last second. But words aren’t going to help anything, right now, and all he’d be doing is repeating something they both know.

Instead, he finds himself checking the time and finding it close to dinner. They haven’t eaten in hours and he’s pretty sure Jisung and the others will be hungry, so he opens his mouth to ask about ordering in and a shout startles both of them.

They’re on their feet in milliseconds, racing down the hall to find Jisung on his feet, cradling his hand. Renjun’s at the monitor, watching the temperature rise at an insane rate. Jaemin and Chenle are at Jisung’s side to check his hand. Upon entering the room, they all turn.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung spews. “I tried to hold on for as long as I could, but it started getting unbearable and I had to let go. I’m so sorry. I don’t understand what happened. I’ve never had someone beat my power like that.”

“It’s getting out of control,” Mark says, trying to calm him. The numbers start to slow until they settle on one-twenty-seven. Dangerous. That’s a dangerous number. It makes him numb. “You’re fine, Jisung. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jungwoo takes his hand and clicks his tongue. “I need to get you to Kun at the hospital. Come on. Mark, call me if anything happens.”

“Of course.”

Jisung is ushered out by Jungwoo, Chenle trailing behind. Jaemin bites his lip, sliding his eyes to Mark, a question at the edge of his expression. Except, Mark has no answers to give. Donghyuck is overheating, his fire sparking out of his fingertips, ready to burn anyone who dares to touch him.

As he steps closer, Jaemin blocks his way. “I know what you’re thinking, Mark, and don’t. Don’t do it. It isn’t safe anymore.”

“I need to,” he presses. “Someone needs to do something and I’m the only one who can. So, either get out of my way, Jaemin, or I’ll shove you out.”

Mark isn’t going to back down. Not this time. There aren’t going to be many more opportunities. This may even be the last one. So, there’s no way in hell he’s going to let it slip through his fingers.

Much like Mark, Jaemin is just as stubborn. He holds his ground, gaze locked on Mark, as if pleading for him to not do it. Too bad for him, Mark isn’t going to listen. And he must see that because he lowers his eyes, along with his head, and steps to the side. There’s a moment where Mark simply waits to see if Jaemin will rescind his decision or if Renjun will speak up instead.

Neither of them do.

He takes the chair and mentally prepares himself for the pain. This isn’t going to be like last time. This is going to be agonizing and he knows it. Flames keep sifting along Donghyuck’s palms, in and out of his pores. Mark gives himself one moment to gather himself before clapping his hand in Donghyuck’s.

Shutting his eyes, Mark bites his lip so hard he thinks he’s broken skin. There’s no time to think about it, however, because the next second, he’s falling forward until he comes to an abrupt stop.

There’s no heat, but the world is most definitely on fire.

It surrounds the community center. All the buildings that stood before are no longer there, replaced with golden and white flames. They hug every wall of the community center, keeping them on the roof and leaving them no where to go. And there, in the middle of it all, curled up in a ball, is Donghyuck.

Mark stumbles forward through the flames toward him. He collapses, throwing his arms around him and tugging him close. Donghyuck’s trembling all over, tears streaking his face. He gasps at their impact, yet doesn’t move from his curled position. He just simply rocks in Mark’s arms.

“I’m dying,” he whispers, just loud enough to be heard over the roaring firestorm around them. “I’m dying, aren’t I?”

“Donghyuck—Hyuck, please, just listen to me and come home,” he manages. It’s hard because his throat is closing up on him and his voice is coming out broken, cracked. Like all the moisture’s been sucked out of his body. “Please.”

“I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” he insists. Sliding around so he’s in front, he takes Donghyuck’s face in his hands and says, “We don’t want you to go. Don’t you get it? We aren’t us without you. Jungwoo needs you. Jaemin, Renjun, and Jeno need you. Jisung and Chenle need you. _I_ need you. Please, don’t do this, Donghyuck.”

He ducks his head, but Mark’s hands remain there. If this were any other time, he’d marvel at the fact that he can feel the wetness of Donghyuck’s tears against his fingers, that he can feel every inch of who Donghyuck is, despite it being a dream. It’s so different from anything he’s ever known.

But Donghyuck isn’t like any one else to Mark. He’s everything to him, his other half, and he thinks, maybe, this means something.

“I’m not letting you go without a fight,” he promises, tone firm. He knows that if he doesn’t keep himself calm, he’s going to end up in tears, as well, and that’s not going to help either one of them.

Donghyuck’s knees dig into the roof beneath him as he reaches out to twist his fingers into Mark’s shirt. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” he whispers, resting his forehead against the top of Donghyuck’s head. “Don’t be sorry. I know you’re scared. I know you aren’t prepared for any of this, but I’m here, Hyuck. I’m here with you, every step of the way. I just need you to trust me.”

Leaning back to lock his gaze on Mark, he says, “I do trust you. I trust you with everything I have. I just don’t trust myself.”

Sometimes, Mark thinks, he feels the same way. He’d trust Donghyuck before he ever trusted himself. Maybe that’s why they work.

“Do you remember,” he asks, slowly, “when you were fourteen and we went to visit the site where your parents’ house was being rebuilt?”

“I remember burning it.”

Mark shakes his head. “You stopped. You stopped because I was there, right? Because you didn’t want to hurt me?”

“I ended up doing it anyway,” he argues.

“Not on purpose. It’s not your fault that you burn up when you use your powers. But that’s not the point, the point is, you noticed that things were getting dangerous and you stopped it.” As he shifts on his knees, he brushes his thumbs under Donghyuck’s eyes, wiping at the tears that still settle along his lower eyelashes. “And do you remember when we were at the club and you set the ring on fire? I got your attention and you saw what was happening and you stopped then, too.”

“I don’t—”

“Donghyuck, you’ve always been able to stop yourself before things go too far because you care. And if you start another fire tomorrow, I’ll be there to help you come back from it.” When Donghyuck shakes his head, trying to pull away, Mark tightens his hold and rests their foreheads together. “I’m willing to do anything for you and I know you’re willing to do anything for me. It’s always worked when it’s you and me, together. I want that again. No more dancing around, no more leaving each other or keeping secrets. I want us. Don’t you?”

Despite keeping quiet, Donghyuck’s fingers wind tighter, dragging along his abdomen as they do. He may be telling himself to get away, but his body clearly wants to stay. Maybe they do have a chance.

“Even if I did, it doesn’t matter,” he croaks. “I’m going to be just as uncontrollable when I wake up.”

“No, you won’t. Chanyeol said you needed to let go—”

Donghyuck recoils, golden eyes flashing. “You talked to Chanyeol?”

“What the hell else was I supposed to do?” he snaps. “You wouldn’t tell me, so I went to him. If he’s right, you can get out of this situation with even more control if you do what he said.”

“Mark, I can’t—”

“Yes, you can. I know you’re terrified of what could happen, but don’t you want to take that chance? Even if there was a small chance that you could be in better control when you wake up?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anymore. I just want it to end. I want it to stop.”

Mark isn’t thinking—at least, not as well as he should be—as he leans in to press his lips against Donghyuck’s cheek. Donghyuck freezes, his breath hitching as Mark presses another kiss and then another. He grazes his lips across the skin of Donghyuck’s cheeks, reveling in the way his hands trembling against his abdomen, until Mark’s right at the corner of his mouth. Against his fingers, Mark feels Donghyuck flinch toward his lips, almost searching for another kiss, but he backs away just as quickly, catching Mark’s gaze.

“Please, just trust me,” Mark whispers, hands drifting farther down Donghyuck’s neck so he can kiss just under Donghyuck’s ear. The gasp he gets is music to his ears. “Just wake up.”

Donghyuck’s voice is broken, in more ways than one, when he whispers back, “Mark—”

But his words are cut off as he groans, curling in on himself so far that Mark’s hands slip off him and land on his shoulders. He’s burning. Mark can feel that.

He shouldn’t be able to feel that.

“Go!” Donghyuck demands. “Go, Mark!”

“I’m not leaving you!”

“You need to—I can’t—it’s getting harder to control it!” He falls on his side, fingers in his hair, gripping so hard that Mark’s petrified he’ll yank it all out.

He goes to touch Donghyuck, maybe help him up, maybe just hold him. He isn’t sure. All he knows is that he wants whatever is hurting Donghyuck to stop because, _no_ , he’s not letting this happen. He’s not letting Donghyuck be ripped away from him. He can’t let that happen.

He can’t.

He can’t.

 _He can’t_.

But before his hands can reach their destination, something yanks him backward. An invisible force of some kind that tugs on his shoulders and his arms and his sides. He stumbles forwards when it lets him go suddenly. He puts out a hand, brushing Donghyuck’s arm, and then something wrenches at him again. A shout leaves his lips.

“No! No!”

The yanks get more insistent and Mark fights as hard as he can, but with one final pull he’s not only torn from the dream, but from Donghyuck’s side.

The last thing he hears is Donghyuck scream.

*

“NO!”

His vision is still adjusting, still trying to figure out what to focus on. It swims and so does his head. Heat weighs down on him like a blanket as hands drag him backward out of the chair and away from the bedside. His hand slips from Donghyuck’s, stinging and hot and in so much pain. But he doesn’t care. He needs to stay.

He fights. Kicks and screams and twists. The hands around him are strong and tight. It’s nearly impossible to break the iron hold on him.

“Let me go!”

“Mark, snap out of it! You need to go. Now!”

It’s Johnny’s voice, barking in his ear. It shakes him enough to stop moving, but he doesn’t get a lot of time to process because Johnny is spinning him around and shoving him for the door. It’s then that Mark registers the brightness, the orange glow, the heat.

Fire.

Everything is on fire.

It crawls up the walls, envelops the doorframe, hugs the bed Donghyuck’s still unconscious on. Despite trying to get back to him, Johnny is stronger. His grip doesn’t faulter as he pushes Mark from the room and down the hall.

“We can’t leave him!” Mark shouts.

“GO!”

Taeyong is at the front door. He snatches Mark’s wrist and runs. Mark’s feet don’t want to listen. He wants to go back. The walls are coated with flames and he can barely focus on any of it because how? How did it spread so far, so fast, all while he was dream jumping?

They race past the elevator doors, straight to the stairs. Taeyong slams into the door and lets Johnny shove Mark through first before following. He stops, just for a moment—heart in his throat—to beg Taeyong to let him go back, let him grab Donghyuck, but they don’t give him time to talk.

As they descend, Mark notes that the fire hasn’t made it to the lower levels, yet. Clean air smacks his face as they get farther and farther way from the ashen air from upstairs. Mark coughs as they exit the building. Hundreds of tenants stand on the street. The wailing of sirens is nothing but warbles in Mark’s ears as he turns to look up.

The flames are large and angry and vicious as they lean against the windows of the fifth floor, engulfing it completely. A series of windows shatter and everyone yells, scrambling back as glass rains down onto the sidewalk.

Donghyuck’s still up there. Everyone is down here. Donghyuck is alone. Everyone is together.

Mark spins on Johnny and pushes him, as hard as he can. It doesn’t do much. Johnny is built like a rock. Still, he does it again and again, shouting, “You left him there! Why would you leave him there? He needs us!”

“Mark, stop,” Taeyong says, struggling to grab Mark’s arms and force his attention away from Johnny. “They’ll get to him. He has a much higher chance at surviving this as a pyrokinetic.”

“He was already weak!” he argues. His voice cracks and he couldn’t care less. Donghyuck is in there and he needs to go to him. “He isn’t going to make it, Taeyong!”

“Please, Mark—”

“DONGHYUCK!” Jungwoo thrusts his way through the crowd. He makes it as far as the sidewalk before a firefighter is there to stop him. Johnny steps in and locks his arms around Jungwoo’s, keeping him in place. “Donghyuck! My brother is still in there! He’s still in there!”

Mark looks up again and his heart gives out. Brick or not, that fire isn’t normal and it sticks to everything. He wonders if the ceiling will hold. If the building will crumble just like all the others back in Donghyuck’s dream world.

The firefighters are racing inside. They have their hoses out, but even Mark knows that won’t do anything. The only person who can put this fire out completely is Donghyuck. Because as long as he’s still breathing, he’ll keep it burning.

He thinks back to Donghyuck’s wide-eyed, frightened expression, the way he collapsed in pain, the way he screamed. God, Mark can’t escape that sound. It rings in his ears and all he can thinks is: I abandoned him. I left him.

I can’t leave him.

Taking advantage of Taeyong’s distracted attention as he yells over to Johnny and Jungwoo, Mark twists himself out of Taeyong’s grip, and bolts.

“Mark! MARK!”

He dodges one of the firefighters and runs. He runs faster than he ever has before. Heart pounding in his ears, he slams open the door to the stairwell and climbs them, two at a time, to the fifth floor. The air is acrid, sickly sweet with a burn, it settles on his tongue and coats his lungs. The fire’s spreading and it rolls down the stairs and the railing.

Except, it doesn’t go near Mark. In fact, with every step he takes, it flinches away from him. Even when he reaches the door to the fifth floor—flames seeping through the crack at the bottom—it curls away. He has to cover his hands to push on it and, even then, the heat is harsh against his skin.

Holding his shirt over his nose, he makes his way down the hall. He’s coughing by the time he gets to the right apartment. The door isn’t shut. There’s no one in the hallways. He thinks he may hear the firefighters in another apartment, but it’s hard to tell when the fire is so loud against his eardrums.

It’s hot and the ash is sticking to the sweat that forms along his face, neck, and arms. It’s uncomfortable. Everything about this is uncomfortable. Mark can’t think about that, though, because there’s a more important matter at hand.

The air is so thick. His lungs struggle as he makes it to the doorframe into the bedroom, where Donghyuck lays in his bed, completely oblivious to what’s going on. The fire curls around him like a protective ring. It licks at his fingers, pooling out of his palms and onto the floor, across the sheets, and up the walls.

Mark coughs, fumbling toward the bed. It’s so hard to see, to focus, and it’s just so damn hot. He falls, right at the side of the bed.

“Donghyuck,” he chokes as he reaches up. “Donghyuck, wake up.”

He knows Donghyuck can’t hear him. He knows that the only way to get him to listen is to jump right back in and hope for the best. He also knows that if he stays any longer, he’s going to fall unconscious himself and then there will be no one to help Donghyuck. 

The fire bends away from him as he takes Donghyuck’s hand in his already blistered one.

If he has just one more chance, he’ll make it worthwhile.

One.

Last.

Jump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come talk to me on [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/DiamantNoir)  
> (my friend said the link didn't show up on her phone, but it does on mine, so...Here's the link without looking all pretty haha: https://curiouscat.me/DiamantNoir )


	4. Epilogue: Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh...this is it. This is the end...Just...wow.  
> I know I've said this a lot, but I mean it: I wouldn't have made it this far without all of your support! Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and all the wonderful comments.  
> When I started this, I never thought I'd actually make it to the end. I figured I'd get half-way and just give up or get too busy, but it's done! And I'm still at a loss for what to do because this has been my baby for so long. I keep thinking I'm missing something...  
> I just...thank you <3 <3 
> 
> If anyone is interested, I started a new fic. It's a chaptered one and very different from this one, but I hope you'll check it out!  
> It's called [To Catch A Pitch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27217642/chapters/66485683)  
> (Just let me know if the link doesn't work)
> 
> Anyway, I hope this epilogue answers all the unanswered questions and gives you the happy ending you hoped for!

Fire is all-consuming.

A force with the sure purpose to destroy, to turn everything to ash and make it seem like nothing ever existed.

Donghyuck has watched it consume his parents, his home, his life. He just never thought it would try to consume him, too.

The pain is agonizing. It shoots out from his core, singeing his bones on the way to the tips of his limbs. It’s almost so excruciating that his body is becoming numb. Then it hits him again and everything is so hot, so painful, that he can’t shake it. It’s the type of pain he wants to scream from his body, but that doesn’t work. All it does is hurt his throat.

His dream world is on fire and he lays at the center of it, uncontrolled and helpless. The sky above him is golden. So bright it scalds his eyes. Smoke curls around him, dark and ominous and warning. Warning that this is only going to get worse, and Donghyuck can’t understand how it can.

He’s dying and there’s no way to stop it.

In a dream, he can only focus on so much. The visuals, the sounds. There should be no smell, but the acrid scent of the smoke is suffocating and that’s how he knows he’s near the edge.

Perhaps this is a good thing, he thinks. This is what he wanted. To be able to keep himself away from the people he loves without having to constantly worry about harming them. Except, now, he’s terrified and he’s dying and Mark disappeared what feels like hours ago—even though it’s probably only been a minute; time is odd in this dream world—leaving Donghyuck to himself and his fire and his death.

Donghyuck’s always wanted to go out with a bang. This sure feels like it. Of course, now, he’s not so sure what he wants. Well, maybe, he does.

Despite the pain, despite the burning inside his body, begging to come out, Donghyuck can still feel Mark’s lips on his face. It tingles as he realizes that all he’s ever wanted was Mark and he’s been an idiot for pushing away. Sure, he did it for good reason, and Mark knows that, but he wants him.

He loves him.

Donghyuck screams as another shot of pain courses through his body, causing him to curl up in a ball on the roof of the community center. He had found it hilarious that he ended up here of all places, yet it fit. This was the place Donghyuck went to in order to escape, the place he used to distract himself from his worries. Now, it’ll be the place he dies.

_“I know you’re terrified of what could happen, but don’t you want to take that chance? Even if there was a small chance that you could be in better control when you wake up?”_

Mark’s voice plays in his head like a record on repeat. It keeps going, reminding him. Always reminding him. He squeezes his eyes shut. The tears that escape sizzle off from his skin, transforming into steam. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this hot before.

_“Don’t you want to take that chance?”_

“Yes,” he breathes.

His fingers claw at his abdomen, desperate to get the heat out. He wants it _out_.

Even before all this, Donghyuck wanted to take that chance. That was the reason he went to Chanyeol in the first place, to learn control. Little did he know, learning control was a lot scarier than he thought it would be. Opening up isn’t easy to him. His emotions have always needed to be buried so deep inside him that no one could figure them out.

And before, the thought of taking a chance, was petrifying. There was no way to prove it would get better, no way to prove _he_ would get better. It was all luck and faith and hope and Donghyuck didn’t have a lot of that.

Laying on the community center roof, Donghyuck thinks that he might have a little bit of it left that he’d very much like to use.

If only there was a small chance.

The fire roars around him, shooting up into the sky, as he pushes himself up onto all-fours. It takes so much energy that he’s sure he’s going to collapse again, but he forces himself onward, gasping for air. Only to find out there is no clean air to breathe and he’s choking. Choking on his own power.

“I’m sorry,” he says through gritted teeth as he places a foot down to fumble to his feet. Even his sweat is turning to steam. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’m sorry I tried to control you when you didn’t need me to. I’m sorry I’m such a bad pyro.”

Around him, the fire bends toward him. Like a whisper of an answer.

Donghyuck presses the heels of his hands to his face. “This isn’t what I wanted. I was trying to make it better and I made it worse. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

It doesn’t matter how much he apologizes to the flames around him, or even to himself, he’s coming to the end of his rope.

“Donghyuck!”

He spins around at the voice, nearly losing his footing. His legs want to give out from under him. Somehow, though, he keeps himself upright, searching. A large flame that crawls across the roof parts just slightly, giving sight to the figure on the other side. Donghyuck tenses.

“Donghyuck!”

On weak legs, he starts toward the calls of his name, He forces the fire to move out of his way so he can reach out and take Mark by the shoulder and spin him around. Under his fingertips, Mark feels so real, solid and here.

“Dong—” His call is cut off when his black eyes meet Donghyuck’s gold ones, lips parting in surprise.

He takes Mark by the shoulders and yells, “What the fuck are you doing here? You can’t be here. You need to get out!”

Because this place isn’t safe for him anymore, which means it definitely isn’t safe for Mark. Even if he wanted to see Mark one last time, he doesn’t even want to think about what will happen if he dies and Mark is still here, within his burning dream world.

“Hyuck, the building is on fire!” He has to shout in order to be heard over the raging fire around them. “You’ve set the whole fucking building on fire!”

Donghyuck stills, eyes widening. A horrifying feeling settles in the pit of his stomach, scorching him even more than his own fire because, _no_ , not again. _No_.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was just supposed to touch him, not everyone else. Fucking hell, is there nothing he can do right?

Mark struggles to get Donghyuck’s hands off him so he can cradle Donghyuck’s face and force his attention. “You need to wake up,” he says, brushing away the fringe that’s settled against Donghyuck’s forehead with soft eyes. “Hyuck, baby, come back with me. Please! We can figure this out. All of it. Together. Isn’t that what we do? We’re Mark and Donghyuck, Haechan and Hypnos.”

He grips at Mark’s arms, mind spinning. All he wanted to do was set things right. Put them where they should have been years ago, without him there to ruin the picture. Now, everything is crumbling, turning to ash.

“If you’re here,” he says, “then that means you’re with my body.” It clicks so suddenly that he knocks Mark’s hands off his face, takes him by the shoulders, and shakes him. “In a fucking burning building? Are you fucking kidding me, Mark Lee?”

“I need you!” Mark shouts and Donghyuck stops. “Hyuck, I _need_ you. Please, come back to me. Don’t do this.”

“Mark—”

“If you ever trusted me—if you trust me at all, right now—come back with me,” he pleads. “Do what you need to do to get out of here and we can sort it all out.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “We don’t even know if it’ll work.”

“It’s worth the chance, isn’t it? To come home, maybe be in more control than before.” Mark’s eyes are impossibly round. “To be with me?”

“Why?” he asks. “Why me?”

The expression on Mark’s face is pure shock before it changes into something else. Something full of understanding and sorrow and Mark reaches out to take his hands and tug them together until their chests bump. The closeness is almost as suffocating as the smoke.

“This really is about your worth, isn’t it? Not just because of your powers, but because of you yourself,” he says, quietly.

His heart is burning like a bonfire in his chest. He doesn’t have much time left, but he needs to know. “Please.”

A smile spreads across Mark’s lips and he says, “Because you’re _you_. Because you’re everything to me. From your stupid stubbornness to your quick, silver tongue to the way you always put yourself behind everyone else because you care. You love so deeply, even if you never show it. And I knew, from the moment you fell out of that tree and broke my nose, that you would be someone special in my life, and all you’ve done over the years is prove that time and time again.”

Donghyuck isn’t sure what to do with the words. He feels them sink into him and he thinks that if this were any other circumstance he’d be blushing. Never in his life has he been good at taking compliments. At least, seriously. And Mark’s never been so straightforward before. It’s nice. Really nice.

And he wants more of it. He wants to be selfish and have more. Even if he doesn’t know if it’ll work, in the end, he’s willing to take the chance.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since I was thirteen,” he tells Mark, voice shaking. He’s so hot. It’s coiling through him, seizing every inch of him. “I almost did. On Jeno’s bed, after you came to apologize for ditching us for Yeri. I was so close. Sometimes, I wish I had. Other times, I’m glad I didn’t. Because almost a year later I burned you so badly and I knew then that I couldn’t ever have you if I wanted you to be safe. I’ve liked you since the moment I fell out of that stupid tree and broke your nose. I slipped because of you. Because you stopped my heart and I missed a branch.”

The smile he gets is beautiful. He doesn’t get to look at it long because Mark is bringing their foreheads together. Fire crackles around them.

“Come home, Hyuck. Let’s go home.”

But just as he goes to agree, lips parted to say the words, Mark jolts back and coughs. It rattles from his bones and doesn’t stop. Legs hitting the roof, Mark tries to cover his mouth, to make it stop. Donghyuck drops beside him.

“Mark? Mark!”

“Y-You,” he coughs again, hard and painful, “have to hurry. W-Wake up, Donghyuck.”

He fades out, like black smoke swept up by the wind, his hand reaching out, desperate to hold on. All Donghyuck can do is watch, let him slip through his fingers until he’s gone completely. He’s alone again.

Fire rears up inside him and Donghyuck screams. His hands are on fire. It feels like his skin is melting off, his bones disintegrating under the heat. He has to get out and he has to get out _now_.

“I’m ready,” he chokes. “I’m ready. Please. Please, let me wake up. Please. Don’t let me leave him. I love him and he needs to know!”

His vision flashes gold and then caves into blackness.

When his eyes snap open, he sees the ceiling of his room, white and bare. The air is sweltering, coated with smoke, but the fire is gone. His body is no longer scorching. Still, a comfortable warmth curls in his chest, purring like a satisfied cat.

He goes to pull himself up and realizes he’s attached to a bunch of melted machines. He yanks out the IV drip, despite knowing he shouldn’t, and searches the room. Mark should be here. He should be right here, beside him. And when he peers over the edge of the bed, he sees a body. His heart plummets.

Scrambling off the bed, he kneels next to Mark and turns him over. His chest is rising and falling so slowly that Donghyuck is terrified he’s not going to make it.

“Help!” he shouts. He hasn’t used his voice in days and it shows because screaming is like someone dragging nails up the inside of his throat. “HELP! SOMEONE! Hold on, Mark. Hold on. HELP!”

He hears the sound of heavy, quick footsteps and he prays he was fast enough.

*

Donghyuck thinks it’s kind of ironic that Mark ends up unconscious while trying to wake Donghyuck up from his own coma in order to be together. Now, it’s his turn to hold Mark’s hand while he sleeps, having been treated for smoke inhalation.

“I can’t heal something like that,” he remembers Kun saying as the paramedics rolled Mark away from him and down the hall of the hospital. Donghyuck tried to go after them, but Kun kept him back. “Not quickly, anyway. Let us work on him. He’ll be fine. For now, let’s get you checked out.”

Mark isn’t supposed to be asleep for long. They told him he’d be up and moving in the next day or so, but Donghyuck still worries. If something happens to Mark because of him, he’s not sure what he’ll do.

Sighing, he rests his head on the mattress, staring up at the way Mark’s eyelashes cast shadows across his cheekbones. He appears calm, handsome. Donghyuck doesn’t even want to think about what he looks like. He hasn’t had time to care about that. As soon as the firefighters found them in his room, he was forced out of the building and then followed the ambulance to the hospital.

He barely remembers the reactions of everyone seeing him. He knows Jungwoo ran to him and hugged him. He remembers shocked expressions and Jaemin’s knees giving out—Jeno had to catch him. After that, it’s sort of a blur because his attention was on Mark and where he was going and what was happening to him.

Part of him is kind of scared for Mark to wake up. Being in his dream world was so much easier. The way they talked seemed so much easier because, well, Donghyuck wasn’t planning on coming back. He could talk like that. Without any worry of having to deal with it later. But this is reality, and reality is never as perfect as a dream. At least, not in Donghyuck’s opinion.

Mark may realize that this isn’t what he wanted, that he needs more time. Of course, Donghyuck would hate it, but he’d respect it because he loves Mark. He’d do anything for him. Even come back from nearly destroying himself and their apartment building.

A knock gets his attention. Jaemin stands at the door with a backpack in his hands. When he smiles, it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Hey.”

Straightening, he answers, “Hey, what’s up?”

Jaemin lifts the bag. “I brought you a change of clothes. Figured you might want to get out of those. Been in them for a few days.”

Slowly, Donghyuck stands, carefully unwinds his hand from Mark’s, and heads over to where Jaemin hovers by the door. Jaemin holds out the bag to him. He takes it with a faint smile.

“Thank you.”

A quiet moment follows, Jaemin’s eyes trained on his face as if he still can’t believe Donghyuck is awake and moving and alive. His lower lip starts to tremble and Donghyuck’s smile falls, eyebrows curling upward.

“Nana—”

Jaemin throws himself into Donghyuck’s arms, nearly knocking them both over. “Don’t ever scare me like that again, you hear me?”

Burying his face in the crook of Jaemin’s neck, he nods. “Promise. I’m sorry, Nana.”

There’s a sniffle in his ear and Jaemin’s tears soak into his shirt. He drops the bag to the floor and pulls Jaemin in closer. Jaemin’s fingers clench at the back of Donghyuck’s shirt. A swirl of emotions fills him. This time, he doesn’t push them down. He lets the tears come and his body shake as he holds Jaemin as hard as he can.

Ever since he woke up, things have felt so different. He doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry or scream. All he knows is that he can’t go back to the way he was before; when he hid himself away from the people who care about him and who he cares about right back. There’s no way in hell he wants to go back to that state of mind, that fiery dream world, and feel that pain again.

Sure, a small part of him still worries. He may not have a roaring fire inside him determined to get out every second anymore, but things can still slip. And the last thing he wants is to hurt his family. But he’s taking a chance. He’s taking a risk and seeing where this goes, how things will unravel. To him, that’s absolutely petrifying. He supposes the good part about it all, is that he won’t be alone while he figures it all out.

He goes to tell Jaemin this, to explain why he did what he did, how he came back, and how he’s planning to stay, but Jaemin cuts him off with the smallest of whimpers into his shoulder and whispers, “I’m sorry, Hyuck. I’m so, _so_ sorry. This was all my fault.”

The words make him frown and lean back. “What are you talking about?”

“If I hadn’t pushed you,” Jaemin sniffles, rubbing at his eyes and his nose until his skin goes red. “I didn’t think. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted you to be open with us and yourself and I pushed you so hard. I didn’t mean to, Hyuck. I’m so sorry.”

Taking Jaemin’s shoulders, Donghyuck ducks his head so he can grab Jaemin’s gaze and says, “Okay, first off, this wasn’t your fault. In fact, I probably should have listened to you more. I was just,” he shrugs, “scared, I guess. No, I was definitely scared. You didn’t put me in that coma. I did.”

“But you wouldn’t have been in it if we had just left you alone like you wanted.”

“If you left me alone, I would have still ended up in that coma because I was already crumbling,” he admits. “You did nothing wrong, Nana. None of you did.”

Jaemin swallows and shakes his head. “It still feels like it.”

“Fine, then,” he straightens and starts to fix Jaemin’s hair until it’s perfect again, “we’ll both take the blame. Deal?”

Cracking a small, watery smile, Jaemin says, “Fine. Deal.”

Donghyuck bends down to pick up the bag and peek inside. He’s pretty sure these aren’t his clothes and are, in fact, Mark’s, but he doesn’t say anything and simply closes the bag back up.

“You can go change and I’ll stay with Mark,” Jaemin says. “Taeyong and Jungwoo are talking with the doctor right now, and I think I heard them say the others can come in if they want.”

Right. The others.

When Mark first got taken into a room, the nurses tried to keep it simple. Taeyong was allowed in, and so were Mark’s parents—once they arrived—and Donghyuck. Of course, they only let Donghyuck in the room when Taeyong went in search for a doctor and Donghyuck absolutely refused to have Mark alone in the room and somewhat threw a very overdramatic fit.

That means, everyone else is still outside in the hallway, waiting to see Mark. And maybe even Donghyuck. He hasn’t really had a chance to talk to anyone. Not really. He’s been hyper-focusing on Mark for the last hour. Nothing else has really crossed his mind. Still, he’s going to have to face them all sooner or later.

Nodding, he steps out of the room, bag in hand. Sitting along a row of chairs, is his family. Jungwoo is the first to spot him. Eyes and nose red from crying, he stumbles out of his seat, releasing his hold on Lucas’ hand in the process, and rushes over. All the air is knocked out of his lungs when Jungwoo wraps him in the tightest hug he’s ever gotten in his life. Even tighter than the one he got when Donghyuck made his way out of the apartment building with Mark in the arms of a firefighter behind him.

“You scared the fuck out of me, Donghyuck Lee,” he grumbles into the top of Donghyuck’s head.

He coughs a laugh, and says, “I scared the fuck out of me, too, if it makes you feel any better.”

“It doesn’t.” His arms tighten even more. “Never again, you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

When Jungwoo finally let go, Lucas is there with his bright smile. He ruffles Donghyuck’s hair and says, “Glad to have you back, bro.”

“Glad to be back,” he replies, fist bumping Lucas.

“Are you?”

The voice is an odd mix of hesitant and firm and Donghyuck’s knows exactly who’s asking before he even turns around. Arms crossed over his chest, Renjun looks like he’s deciding on whether he wants to hug Donghyuck or strangle him. Donghyuck would prefer the former, to be perfectly honest.

Jeno’s there, too, a faint smile on his face because, well, it’s Jeno and that’s somewhat to be expected. No grudges, no anger, just relieved it’s all over. Both Jisung and Chenle are a mix of Jeno and Renjun, but they seem to settle on the more relieved side the longer they stare at Donghyuck.

“I am,” he finally says, holding out his arms. “Come here, Injunnie.”

Renjun huffs, like Donghyuck is being a complete bother, but his hug is strong and unrelenting and a silent plea for Donghyuck to never leave ever again. Donghyuck squeezes back, a silent agreement to never let it happen again. Then, there are more arms and bodies wrapping around him. A laugh bubbles out of him. God, he’s missed them.

“How’s Mark?” Renjun asks as he lets go.

“He’s okay. Still unconscious, but Kun said he’ll be awake soon. Jaemin gave me clothes, but they aren’t—”

“Yours? Well, your room wasn’t in the best condition, unfortunately.”

Ah. Donghyuck nods. Makes sense.

Then a pang hits his heart, so quick and painful that he gasps. “Wait, is everything gone?”

“Not everything,” Renjun replies. “Some things survived. Your laptop’s a bit charred, but it should still work all right. And, I did get this…” He turns around and grabs something off the chair. When he turns around, that pang in Donghyuck’s chest eases. In his hands, is a very ruffled stuffed lion. “Somehow, this little guy made it out just fine.”

With shaky hands, Donghyuck takes it from him. It smells like a campfire and the mane is a little singed around the edges. Otherwise, he looks just fine. “Thank you. But, um, about my clothes. I know Mark had some of mine in his room, so I guess I’m just curious as to—”

“Shut up and wear them,” Renjun interrupts, a sparkle in his eye. “As if you don’t want to. Idiot.”

Donghyuck is well aware his face is going red, so he ducks his head, hugs the lion close, and mumbles something about going to get changed. He’s about to turn around when he hears frantic voices from down the hall.

It’s Mark’s mom and dad. With their faces flushed and hair windblown, Donghyuck can only assume they ran here. He doesn’t expect anything less. They love their son with all their heart. As they draw closer, demanding to see their son, Donghyuck tries to shrink behind Jeno because, well, he’s the reason Mark’s unconscious in that hospital bed.

Unfortunately, he isn’t fast enough. Mark’s mom spots him and she races up, taking him by the shoulders with a vice-like grip. “You’re okay. Oh, thank god, you’re okay.”

Donghyuck’s stunned as she pulls him into a hug. “I—Um, yeah. I am. I…”

She steps back and smiles before brushing his fringe off his forehead. The action reminds Donghyuck of his own mom and his eyes start burning. “We were so worried when we found out you were in a coma. Mark told us to keep away and to give you some space, but we wanted to see you. I’m so glad you’re okay, Donghyuck.”

“T-Thank you,” he stutters. He sees Renjun smirking out of the corner of his eye and Donghyuck really wants to swat at him. “But Mark—”

“If you’re about to tell me it’s your fault he’s in there, then you can stop right there,” she says, firmly.

Mark’s dad pops up with, “We all know Mark ran into that building on his own accord. Idiot son. I’m assuming he’s still in there?”

Donghyuck nods, still unsure of what to say.

“Well, he better be ready for when he wakes up because I’m going to give him a piece of my mind,” says Mark’s mom, straightening to her full height, which is pretty much Donghyuck’s, give or take an inch. “Honestly, I can’t believe him. But I _am_ proud of him,” she adds, fixing Donghyuck’s shirt and smiling at him once again. “I knew I raised a good son. One that would do anything for the people he loves. He’s lucky to have you.”

“Come on, hon,” Mark’s dad says, holding out his hand to her. She takes it and the two of them step into the room. Jaemin comes out a moment later, closing the door behind him.

Donghyuck spins on Renjun before he can say anything, and states, “Not a word, Renjun Huang. Not a word.”

“I’ll give you the day off,” is his swift reply. Donghyuck will take it.

When Donghyuck finally manages to escape the group that’s surrounded him, he finds Jungwoo trailing after him. He stops at the corner of the hallway, heading toward the bathroom, and turns towards him with a tilt of his head.

“I’m going to come back,” he says.

“I know,” Jungwoo mumbles. “I just…”

Donghyuck offers him a tiny smile. “As long as you don’t follow me into the bathroom, you can walk with me.”

That makes Jungwoo snort. “Thanks for the permission.”

“You’re going to need that if you’re planning on stalking me,” he teases, starting back down the hallway with Jungwoo at his side. He takes a moment, expecting Jungwoo to say something—anything—but he doesn’t. It isn’t until they finally reach the bathroom that Donghyuck says, “I’m sorry, you know? For everything. I never expected it to get that far and then it did and I thought it would be better for everyone.”

“It wouldn’t have been,” Jungwoo replies. “Not for me. Not for anyone. I was so scared I had lost you and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I ended up trying to distract myself with the trust fund case, but all it did was make me think about you. There was nothing I could do to help you. I just had to sit and wait.”

Donghyuck looks down at his hands. One of them clutches at the backpack, the other at his stuffed lion. “I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry.”

“Come here,” Jungwoo whispers, tugging on Donghyuck’s arm so that he can hug him. He nestles his face into Jungwoo’s chest. “I missed you.”

“Missed you, too.”

It’s hard not to feel the smile Jungwoo is pressing into the top of his head. “Love you, little brother.”

Something bright, something happy, lifts in his heart and Donghyuck can’t help but sigh contently. More content than he ever has been in his life because, _fuck_ , he loves Jungwoo. He’s not sure how he would have been able to survive if Jungwoo hadn’t been so insistent to bring him into his home, hadn’t tried to be in his life and make it better.

“Love you, too,” he replies. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Jungwoo steps away, smiling. “Me neither. And I’d rather not find out.”

“Same,” he agrees. “I’ll be right back. Um, can you, uh, hold him?”

Taking the stuffed lion in his hands, Jungwoo gives a mock salute and says, “It will be my pleasure.”

“You’re so weird,” he says with a roll of his eyes as he slips into the bathroom.

Donghyuck supposes he should be lucky. He and Mark aren’t that different in size. Granted, Donghyuck has a little more leg on him. Still, Jaemin was smart enough to give him joggers instead of jeans. It isn’t until he’s pulling the t-shirt over his head, which still somehow smells faintly like Mark, that Donghyuck realizes he’s never actually worn Mark’s clothes before. He’s always brought his own things to change into, or just use whatever he left there.

His brain unhelpfully conjures an image of Mina in his shirt and he grimaces. Oh, he’s definitely going to have to burn that one. Which sucks because that shirt was one of his favorites. Then again, if he gets premium access to Mark’s closet now, he should have more than enough to replace it.

Glancing at himself in the mirror, Donghyuck catches flushed cheeks and tired eyes and hair that definitely requires attention. He wants to shower, but he knows he won’t get that chance any time soon unless he leaves. The change of clothes helps.

Mark’s clothes. His cheeks turn even more red and he looks away, not wanting to watch his own embarrassment come to life. This is ridiculous. He shouldn’t overthink it. He doesn’t even know where they both stand at this point in time. All he knows is that Mark still likes him and Donghyuck, himself, is still in love with him. They just haven’t picked what they want to do next.

Right. That’s going to require more talking. And feelings.

Warmth curls in him and, this time, he lets it happen. It feels like a flicker of a flame, like fiery butterflies, and Donghyuck shakes himself. He’s not going to force it away, but he also needs to not go into a gay panic, right now.

By the time he comes back out, Jungwoo is leaning up against the opposite wall, tilting the lion back and forth and singing some kind of lullaby under his breath. Donghyuck smiles at the sight.

“Having fun?” he asks, closing the door behind him.

Jungwoo lowers the lion. “What did you name him? I don’t think I ever asked.”

Holding out his hand, he waits for Jungwoo to place it in his open palm. “What makes you think I named him?”

“That answer,” Jungwoo counters.

“Shut up.”

The two of them go back to the group. Taeyong’s with them, appearing as drained as a person can be. Luckily for him, Jaehyun’s got an arm around him, talking low in his ear. Donghyuck watches as Taeyong’s eyes droop, almost as if he’s on the verge of falling asleep.

As Donghyuck and Jungwoo near the others, Taeyong’s eyes flash open, landing right on Donghyuck. He wonders if Taeyong is mad. If he blames Donghyuck for all of this. If he thinks that, if it weren’t for Donghyuck, their homes would be fine and Mark wouldn’t be at the hospital.

Taeyong’s eyes softens. “I don’t blame you, Hyuck.”

He can’t help the way his lower lip trembles. While he thinks he may cry, he really doesn’t want to do this here, at this moment. There are no words that he can say that will make any sense, so he simply lowers his head and hugs at his lion, trying to keep the tears at bay.

An arm wraps around him and he flinches, glancing up to see Taeyong smiling. “Really. I don’t. I’m glad you’re both alive. You have no idea how glad I really am.”

“He’ll be okay, right?”

It’s a silly question to ask because Donghyuck knows Mark will be fine. He had been told as much the moment he arrived, but he needs Taeyong to say it. Because, if Taeyong says it, it’ll happen.

“Yeah, he’ll be just fine. And so will you.”

“I hope so.”

The door to Mark’s room opens and his mom sticks her head out. “Hey, if you guys want to come in and see him, you can. I’m sure he’s not all that exciting, right now, but I bet you could take some good pictures to make fun of him with later.”

Chenle is out of his seat in a flash. “You’re the best, Mrs. Lee.”

The others follow right after, one by one, disappearing into the room until it’s only Donghyuck, Taeyong, and Jungwoo in the hallway. He catches Mark’s mom’s eye and tenses.

“Come in, Hyuck,” she says, holding a hand out to him.

It isn’t that Donghyuck doesn’t want to. Fuck, he really, _really_ wants to. He’d push himself to the front of the group to take the seat at Mark’s side and hold his hand while everyone takes photos and jokes around while Mark can’t defend himself. Donghyuck would, though. He’d defend him. At least while he’s like this.

But as time ticks by, Donghyuck is slowly coming to realize that Mark is going to wake up soon, and he doesn’t think he should be there for it.

Everyone will tell him he should, but he can’t. The last thing he wants is Mark waking up and realizing this whole thing was a mistake. And while there’s a high chance he won’t, there’s a small chance he might, and Donghyuck doesn’t feel like risking any more today after everything that’s happened. No, he should wait. Let Mark have some breathing room before he has to make hard, life-changing decisions.

“I think I’m going to go,” Donghyuck says, quietly.

Taeyong’s arm flexes across his shoulders. “Are you sure?”

“No,” he admits. “But I’m going to. Can you let me know if anything changes?”

“Of course.”

Jungwoo swings the backpack over his shoulder. “I’ll take you home.”

“I can take the bus,” he says. “Besides, Lucas is still here.”

“I’ll come back and get him, but I’m not letting you take the bus home when I can drive you. You don’t even know where we’re staying.”

Oh, yeah. They can’t stay at their apartment anymore because it doesn’t really exist anymore.

“Where are we staying?”

“Well, you’re amazingly rich friend offered to pay for hotel rooms for all the people who have no apartments anymore. Just until the building is fixed up.” Jungwoo shakes his head, a fond smile pulling at his lips. “That kid has more money than he knows what to do with.”

Donghyuck coughs a laugh because, _yeah_ , that’s so true. Chenle probably doesn’t even know how much is in his bank account. Of course, he doesn’t really need to.

He waves goodbye to Taeyong and then to Mark’s mom, who looks a little dejected at the prospect of him leaving, and turns to follow Jungwoo out. When they get to the jeep, Jungwoo asks him if he’s sure he wants to leave. He just nods.

The drive to the hotel is quiet and smooth and by the time they get up to the right room, Donghyuck is about ready to dig himself under the sheets and pillows and just hole up there until Mark finally wakes up.

Inside the room are two queen beds with pure white sheets and fluffy pillows. The wood is polished and clean, the bathroom pristine. This is definitely a high-end hotel. For once, he’s happy to have Chenle in his life, strictly for his money. Not that he’s going to let Chenle pay for it for long. He’s going to pay him back for it somehow. Otherwise, it wouldn’t feel right.

“You can take whichever one you want,” Jungwoo says. “I’m going to head back to the hospital. Will you be okay on your own?”

“Yeah,” he says, checking out the rest of the room before climbing onto the bed closest to the window. Jungwoo remains standing in the little hallway near the door, biting at his lip. “Seriously, Woo. I’ll be fine. Go to Lucas.”

“Right. Yeah. Okay,” Jungwoo’s keys jingle in his hand as he turns toward the door. “You know, Mark is going to be upset that you aren’t there when he wakes up.”

He will be. Donghyuck knows that. Because Mark will want Donghyuck there. At least at first. After that, he has no idea. And that’s the problem.

“Make sure he isn’t alone when he does,” he replies.

Jungwoo nods. “Will do. See you soon.”

Then, he’s alone. He kicks off his shoes and crawls under the sheets. Clutching at the pillow, he digs his face into it and sighs, tears lining along his eyelashes.

He doesn’t know why he’s so scared. Mark worked so hard to get him out of that dream world. There’s no way he’d drop Donghyuck now. Still, there’s a black smudge on his thoughts, staining them negative, and he can’t help but think that Mark will leave him again. And he doesn’t want Mark to leave him again.

Rubbing at his eyes, he shifts into a comfortable position and focuses on the silence around him. For now, he shouldn’t worry about it. Mark isn’t awake yet. He has time until his fate is decided.

*

Jungwoo and Lucas leave very early in the morning to go back to the hospital. They both try to convince Donghyuck to come, but he refuses each time. This leaves him alone in the hotel room for the day, hovering by his phone just in case someone calls or messages him.

The group chat, with all his friends, has already exploded, demanding to know where he is and if he’s coming back. Renjun and Jaemin have both threatened to drag him away. Donghyuck simply doesn’t reply to those ones. He doesn’t know how to explain himself. He’s never been good at that. And he knows doing it over text will just be a hell of a lot worse. Instead, he lets his phone buzz again and again until he finally puts it on silent.

He wanders around the room, waiting for his god-awful coffee to brew and his hair to fully dry, still clad in Mark’s clothes because, now, he really doesn’t want to take them off. Even if Lucas came home with a new bag from having stopped by Mark’s place and raiding his upper drawer still full of Donghyuck’s own things.

Just like he thought, the coffee is awful and he kind of wishes there were more options in this supposedly high-class hotel. There probably are, but those options require him to leave the room and he doesn’t feel like doing that either. In fact, he doesn’t want to do anything. He probably should try to sleep. He hardly did last night, his mind spinning over the fact that Mark is still in the hospital. It doesn’t matter how many times he closes his eyes, sleep never comes.

He’s at the small table by the window, coffee mug hot in his hand and his eyes sore from being so tired, when a knock comes at the door. At first, he doesn’t move. But then he hears a familiar voice say, “Hyuck, it’s me” and he goes to open it.

Taeyong smiles. “Hey, how are you?”

Donghyuck doesn’t get how he’s so happy when Mark, who is as close to a little brother as he could get, is laying in a hospital bed, but he doesn’t question it and lets Taeyong in. It’s then that another body appears and Donghyuck feels his heart tumble.

“Hey, kiddo,” Chanyeol greets. “Good to see you up and about.”

Speechless, he steps back so both of them can hover by the bed Jungwoo and Lucas have claimed. He closes the door, wondering what they’re both doing here. This feels like a very odd intervention and the last time one of those happened, he ended up in a coma.

Chanyeol doesn’t appear mad, or even disappointed, but Donghyuck thinks he should be because he didn’t listen. He didn’t follow Chanyeol’s words and that’s what caused all these issues to begin with. If Donghyuck had just tried to do what Chanyeol said, maybe none of this would have happened.

What ifs. Donghyuck doesn’t like what ifs. His brain likes to pull them out on him, though.

“Before you ask,” Taeyong starts, “Mark is awake.”

Donghyuck tenses. “Oh.”

He wants to ask if Mark wondered where he was. If he’s fine. If Mark is mad at him or upset. If he should prepare himself for the worst. He doesn’t ask any of those things, however, because what does he expect? Mark is going to be sad Donghyuck didn’t stick around. That’s obvious enough.

“I hope you’ll be able to see him soon,” Taeyong tells him. “He’ll be released soon. But, Chanyeol wanted to talk to you, so I figured now might be the best time. Is that okay?”

Donghyuck nods. “Um, sure. About what?”

“How you’re doing, mostly,” Chanyeol replies, perching himself on the end of the bed. Taeyong wanders over to the table and grabs a seat there.

“Oh, I-I don’t know,” he admits. “Fine, I guess? A little, um, weak?”

He’s not sure how to explain it. He still runs warm, still feels the flicker of his fire within him, but it doesn’t feel like it’s trying to lash out at anyone or even at him. It’s calm. Weak. Donghyuck hasn’t even tried to summon it for fear that nothing will happen.

It’s an odd feeling. A feeling he doesn’t particularly like. Then again, if this is the price to being alive and keeping Mark in his life, he’s willing to take it.

“That’s to be expected, I think.” Chanyeol purses his lips in thought. “I did a bit of research. There’s no one with your exact case, but there was a girl who was similar and her ability ended up quite softer after she came back from her coma.”

Softer. That sounds right. “Does that mean I’ll never have my full power back?”

“Do you want it back?”

That’s the question, isn’t it? It isn’t that Donghyuck wants to feel the lack of control again, or that he even wants the power to burn down a building, but not knowing if it’s an option in the future feels uncomfortable. Donghyuck doesn’t like the unknown.

“I guess I’m just curious.”

Chanyeol nods, tongue in his cheek. “I did some thinking. Figured, if you were interested, we could still meet up and maybe test out just where your abilities are at. You’ll still need to learn control, make sure you don’t end up where you were a few days ago ever again.”

“Okay, yeah,” he agrees. At first, Chanyeol seems surprised, eyebrows rising just slightly, but then he smiles. “I’d like that.”

“Good. I’ll contact you in a few days, once everything’s sort of settled, and set up a time, yeah?” he asks and Donghyuck nods. “Great. I look forward to talking to you then. Give Mark my best.”

Chanyeol skirts around Donghyuck for the door and before he can grab the knob, Donghyuck blurts, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Chanyeol glances back at him, eyebrows furrowed. “About what?”

“I didn’t listen to you. I should have done what you said and I didn’t. I was too stubborn to. I guess, I’m just sorry,” he says, hurriedly.

A faint smile passes over his face and Chanyeol says, “Don’t worry about it, kid. We’re all a little stubborn. We learn from mistakes. I’m willing to bet you’ve learned and you won’t let this kind of thing happen again.” Donghyuck nods. “That’s all I can ask for. I’m glad you’re safe. Wouldn’t want my protégé to burn up within the first week, would we?”

Donghyuck chuckles. “No.”

“See you, Donghyuck.”

The door clicks shut. He almost forgets Taeyong is still in the room until he hears someone clear his throat behind him. From the table, Taeyong watches him with those knowing eyes and a slight grin. Donghyuck wonders what kind of conversation is waiting for him, now.

“You don’t need to worry so much,” Taeyong says as he taps the table, gesturing for Donghyuck to sit down with him.

He does, every step hesitant. “So, Mark’s…awake?”

Nodding, Taeyong says, “Woke up about half an hour ago. His parents are signing the release forms and he’ll be coming back here for a bit.”

“Doesn’t he,” he shifts on the chair, frowning slightly, “have his place? I thought they could go back to it?”

“They let in people on the lower floors grab some things, but they’ve closed the building off now. Until they can fix it up,” explains Taeyong. “Everyone’s going to be housed in hotels until then.”

If the guilt was already bad, this made him feel worse. He knows he was in a coma, and he had no idea things would turn out this way, but it’s still his fault, in the end. It was his fire that caused the entire building to be evacuated.

Taeyong sighs. “I know what you’re thinking, but try not to think about it, for now.”

“How can I not?” he asks with a bitter laugh. “I just can’t seem to stop messing up.”

“I think, you’ll have a much easier time now,” Taeyong tells him. “With your powers as they are, currently, I don’t think you’ll have many issues. Chanyeol doesn’t seem to think so, anyway. Jungwoo and I have worked to keep the story down. Besides the people who know us, no one knows it was your fire that did the damage.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that I did it,” he mumbles. Resting his chin in his hand, he says, “I want to believe I didn’t mean to, but it feels like it’s all my fault. I don’t know how to not think that way. It’s just another thing to haunt me.”

“Well,” Taeyong digs his hand into his pocket, “that’s kind of why I’m here.”

A card is set between them and Taeyong slides it toward him. With curiosity, Donghyuck picks it up. It takes a moment for the words he’s reading to click in his head. He glances up at Taeyong with a raised brow.

“Therapy?” he asks, tone leaning into incredulous.

Taeyong leans on the table, eyes on the card. “I know you might not want to do it. It’s not something most people want to do; talking to a stranger about your feelings and memories, but I think it might be good for you.”

“Thanks, but I don’t think it’s a need,” he says, pushing the card back.

“That’s what I said.”

Donghyuck’s eyes snap up from the card, straight into Taeyong’s gaze. Now, that’s information he didn’t have in his arsenal. He had no idea Taeyong was doing therapy.

“For how long?” he finds himself asking before he can stop himself.

“Since I got together with Jaehyun, so a couple of years by now, at least. I go once a month,” he says. “Or, when I have a bad week.”

“And you,” he swallows heavily, “like it?”

Taeyong tilts his head, thinking. “It’s not that I like it. I just feel better after? It’s hard to explain. My therapist is a completely removed party of my life and so there’s never a judgmental feeling in the room, you know? So, I go in, I talk for an hour, he gives me advice sometimes and sometimes doesn’t say anything at all, and then I come home.” He taps his fingers on the table. “I don’t talk about it a lot, but I had a rough start to my life. It effected a lot of things. My trust in people, my ability to discuss personal and emotional things. Talking to someone, who had no idea who I was, helped a lot.”

“What would I even say?”

A soft laugh escapes Taeyong, and he says, “Honestly, the first time I went, I said nothing until the last ten minutes of my appointment because I was so against it. It was Johnny who finally convinced me to go, but, even then, I didn’t want to do it. Donghyuck, you don’t need to talk about everything. Sometimes just going helps more than anything.” He gives the card a nudge until Donghyuck picks it up again. “Think about it, yeah?”

Donghyuck wonders if it would be worth it. Could he be brave enough, like Taeyong, to admit all of his flaws and fears and burdens to someone he doesn’t even know? It’s not an appealing concept. Then again, it certainly feels better than not saying anything at all.

And it definitely feels better than opening up to anyone else in his life. Well, other than Mark. He’d like to open up to Mark. Now that he thinks about it, opening up to Mark is a step, but maybe this will allow him to take several steps forward instead of just one. Mark isn’t a professional. All he can do is listen and, while that’s useful, it’s not going to give him the answers he needs to make things even better.

This card just might.

Even if it makes him nervous as fuck.

He slips it into his back pocket. “Thanks, Taeyong.”

“Of course,” he replies with a smile. “Donghyuck, I care about you and I want to see you do amazing things in your life. I’m here whenever you need me. Okay?”

Stunned, he nods. “Y-Yeah. Okay.”

Taeyong stands up. “Good. Now, you might want to prepare yourself for more visitors because you have a whole crew about to barge in here.”

“What?”

Donghyuck is barely out of his seat before the lock to the room beeps and the door bangs open, revealing all his friends, sans Mark. A flash of relief hits him when he realizes. Then, he realizes that he really shouldn’t be relieved. He should be with Mark, right now. And he’s not.

Jaemin looks angry. Well, until he catches sight of Taeyong and halts in his steps, lips parting and eyebrows shooting up. “Oh, sorry. Thought he was alone.”

“I’m just leaving,” Taeyong says, dodging Donghyuck’s hand that tries to grab his arm and keep him in the room because, _no_ , Donghyuck doesn’t want to be alone with his very angry best friends with no protection whatsoever.

Taeyong shoots him a smile before leaving. Donghyuck feels betrayed. Even more betrayed when everyone turns on him and glares. Wow, that’s terrifying.

“Hey,” he mutters.

Renjun crosses his arms over his chest. “Hey? Hey! What the fuck, Donghyuck Lee? You left the hospital last night without a word and now you’re here when you should be with Mark. Why are you still here?”

Studying his socked feet, Donghyuck shrugs. “Wanted to give him time to settle before we actually had to talk.”

“You didn’t think that, maybe, he wanted you to be there when he woke up?” Jaemin questions, hands on his hips. Jeno, Jisung, and Chenle watch the whole thing in silence, but even Donghyuck can tell they aren’t happy either.

“I know he would,” he says. “But I figured he’d been through enough, that he probably needed some space to talk with his parents and the doctors and then get settled, well, here, I guess. If I was there, he would have been distracted with trying to figure out what to do, and I didn’t want to do that.”

Renjun exchanges a look with Jaemin and they both deflate. Jaemin lowers his arms with a sigh. “He asked for you. Your name was the first thing he said.”

His heart flips in his chest and he has to fight down the smile threatening to spread across his lips. He doesn’t want them to tease him about it. “Taeyong said he was okay.”

“He is,” Jeno says. “Kun gave him a clean bill of health. He’s at the hotel now. In the conjoining room with Taeyong and Jaehyun. Room 127. If you want to see him, that is.”

“And you probably should,” Renjun adds.

Jaemin nods. “Otherwise, he’s going to start overthinking and believing you want nothing to do with him and—”

“I do,” Donghyuck says before he can stop the words. He hates the way they all grin at him, taunts on their tongues, ready to snap at him. “Oh, shut up. I love him, okay? We all happy, now?”

“Ecstatic,” Jaemin says through his smile. How Donghyuck would love to wipe it off his face.

“And Mark, well, at least likes me, so we have that,” he mutters.

Renjun frowns. “Oh, please. He loves you.”

“I don’t…” his voice falls quiet.

He knows Mark did love him. That he still cares about him. That he still likes him. Enough to dump his girlfriend for Donghyuck. But Mark had mentioned being on his way to moving on and Donghyuck’s not sure if that means he still loves him or if Mark just simply really likes him. It’s definitely something he’s going to have to ask about.

Shaking his head, he says, “I’ll talk to him.”

“Good,” Jaemin says. When he holds out his hand, there’s a hotel key between his fingers. “That’s really good. Room 127.”

Donghyuck blinks. “No. Not right now. Later. I’ll go later.”

“Did you not hear a word we said? Mark is in his room, alone, overthinking everything, right now,” snaps Renjun.

“Why the fuck are you waiting?” Chenle asks, the swear word startling Jaemin, who opens his mouth to warn him about language and then seemingly decides to give him a pass. “GO!”

The shout has Donghyuck’s ear ringing and everyone flinching. Chenle almost appears guilty at accidently using his powers, but then he catches himself and glowers at Donghyuck, pointing at the door.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, lifts his chin, and shoves his way through them. He snatches the hotel key from Jaemin on the way. Jeno lets out a whoop as he slips on his shoes, and Jaemin calls out, “Get your boy, Lee!” and Donghyuck has just enough time to stick out his tongue and flash them the finger before the door closes behind him.

The hallway is empty. He presses himself against the door, trying to convince himself to go down a level. One level. Don’t go back in the room, he tells himself. Using the door as a springboard, he bolts down the hallway. The faster he gets there, the least amount of time he has to second guess himself.

He nearly falls down the stairs as he races down them to the first floor. The signs point him in the right direction and his steps slow as the numbers start getting closer and closer to the right room.

God, he’s not sure what to expect. He’s not even sure what he wants to say. There are so many things they need to talk about, to decide on, and Donghyuck has no idea where to even start. All he knows is that he loves the boy behind this hotel room door, and he’s going to do everything in his power to not mess this up.

With shaky fingers, he inserts the key into the lock. It flashes red. Then again. He groans, internally cursing at his flustered, sweaty hands for not doing what he wants them to do. With one hard swipe, it finally flashes green and he manages to click the door open. He takes a deep breath, gathering himself.

He can do this.

Heart beating madly against his chest, Donghyuck steps into the bedroom and gently closes the door behind him. At the sound of the click, Mark turns. He’s standing by the window, presumably been gazing out of it at the city around them. Donghyuck watches as the glazed expression in Mark’s eyes clears, slowly realizing he’s no longer alone.

He looks good. So much better than Donghyuck had seen in the hospital, no longer exhausted and sickly pale. His arms uncurl from their position across his chest and Donghyuck feels like he suddenly can’t breathe. The room feels warm and, for once, he knows it’s not because of him.

Mark takes a step and Donghyuck stays where he is. The last time he saw Mark—saw him up and moving—he was a dream. He had been unconscious the other time in reality. His brain isn’t quite sure how to handle it, but what he does know is that reality Mark is a thousand times better than dream Mark. And dream Mark was pretty damn good.

He swallows around the lump in his throat. It takes a couple tries to get his voice to sound, but when he does, he manages a simple, “Mark.”

Stilling a few feet away, Mark takes him in. Donghyuck isn’t sure what he’s looking for. His eyes are everywhere, top to bottom, studying his face. Whatever it is he’s searching for, Donghyuck hopes he finds it soon and says something. Except, he doesn’t. He stays silent, waiting. Perhaps, Donghyuck thinks, he’s trying to distinguish between reality and dream, too.

Everything feels tight. Tense. Donghyuck isn’t even sure he can move underneath it all. He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and Mark follows the movement with dark eyes. His cheeks are feeling very warm, right now.

“Mark” he breathes. “I’m so sorry—”

His back hits the door, hands cupping his face, and Mark’s lips are on his. The key card slips from his fingers.

It happens so fast. In a blink. Donghyuck isn’t sure if it’s actually happening until he’s gasping and Mark’s hands are tilting his head so their lips slot together even closer. His heart feels like it’s trying to escape from his chest.

This isn’t like dream Mark. This is full reality. He can feel the roughness of Mark’s fingers on his face, the ghost of his breath as he pulls back just slightly to come back in, even more desperate than before, and the taste…dream Mark didn’t have a taste. This one tastes of peppermint. Probably from his toothpaste. He’s also pretty sure Mark found the stash of watermelon lip balm Jaemin got him years ago for Christmas because that’s definitely something that’s hitting Donghyuck’s taste buds.

Mark leans back, forehead pressed to Donghyuck’s, and they stand there. Almost savoring the moment. Mark’s hands are warm. It’s an odd thing to feel, he thinks, because fire burns inside him and he’s always warm no matter what, but this is different. This warmth sinks into his skin, curling through his body and settling in the base of his stomach in a heavy kind of way, and, _god_ , he wants to touch Mark so badly.

Before he knows it, his hands are sliding up around Mark’s head, fingers latching onto his hair, and tugging him closer. Their mouths crash together in a way that sets him on fire in a whole new sort of way. A moan rips up through his throat and Mark catches it before it can become airborne and all Donghyuck can think is _Mark Mark Mark Mark_. It’s rhythmic. Hits every beat of his heart. He pushes up, their chests pressing together. Mark’s hands coil around his wrists, yanking them from his hair and slamming them against the door, nearly above his head. Donghyuck goes to separate, to raise a brow, but Mark’s got him solidly against the door, tongue prying, and Donghyuck is so easily distracted by it.

It’s only when Donghyuck catches Mark’s bottom lip between his teeth, biting just enough to hurt, that Mark’s hands finally loosen just enough so he can slip free, to slide his hands up Mark’s chest and wrap around his neck again. One of Mark’s hands grips his side, fingers slotting between each of his ribs. He digs his fingers in and Donghyuck gasps against his mouth, back arching. He can hear the way Mark drags the nails of his other hand across the door before gripping at the trim of Donghyuck’s shirt. The sound sends shivers down Donghyuck’s spine.

“Fuck,” Mark hisses as he pulls back just enough to let them breathe. It doesn’t really matter, though. The air in the room is almost as stifling as their kisses.

Donghyuck exhales a laugh. “Language.”

He feels the growl against his chest before he hears it and, suddenly, Mark’s gripping the back of Donghyuck’s thighs and lifting him into the air. They fall against the door—it rattles noisily against the frame—before Mark spins them around, takes a few steps, and promptly drops Donghyuck onto the bed, unceremoniously.

The whole thing is somewhat surreal. It takes several reminders to himself that this isn’t a dream. He’s in reality and this very real Mark wants him just as much as he wants Mark. He repeats that over and over in his head as he drinks in Mark’s figure. He’s pulling his t-shirt over his head and moving to slot a leg between Donghyuck’s.

Now, Donghyuck isn’t sure what he looks like, at the moment, but he can take a guess that Mark doesn’t hate what he’s seeing. His dark eyes roam over Donghyuck’s face and down his chest, and Donghyuck realizes his shirt has ridden up, so he goes to fix it. Mark catches his hand and smiles.

It’s ethereal. Stunning, even. His kiss-swollen lips and mussed black hair and cheeks flushed pink to the tips of his ears. Donghyuck doesn’t think he’s ever seen such a sight in his life.

“And to think,” he says, lifting a hand to cup Mark’s cheek, “we could have been doing this ages ago.”

His eyes flutter shut as soft kisses press against his cheek, his nose, his jaw. He leans into every one of them.

“And whose,” Mark pecks him, “fault is that?”

Donghyuck opens his eyes. Mark’s propped himself up, one hand on Donghyuck’s side and the other arm stable by Donghyuck’s head. Most of his body weight lays straight along Donghyuck’s, but he doesn’t mind. He likes this feeling the most. As if he can’t find where they both end and begin.

He drags a hand through Mark’s hair, the other running along his jaw. He can’t get enough of touching him. He doesn’t think he ever will. He just wants Mark so much. He’s not entirely sure how. There are too many ways and they’re all in swinging about each other in his mind that he can’t focus on anything but simply _Mark_.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says as he brings Mark down to meet him halfway. “Blame it all on me.”

The next kiss is softer. Softer than Donghyuck’s brain can even register. It sends trills down his spine, straight to his toes, and he relaxes into it, seeks it out. It’s gentle and loving and _oh so_ sweet. So opposite to the desperation before, but not any less amazing, and Donghyuck thinks he could get used to this.

He drags his fingers around the outside of Mark’s ear, pleasantly surprised when he manages to elicit a sigh from Mark against his mouth and he presses closer even more. His hand drops down around Mark’s jaw again, thumb coming to rest just under their kissing lips. He’s not sure why he does it, but he dips it between Mark’s parted mouth and Mark takes it all in stride, letting it weight against his tongue when they part, just centimeters apart. Their chests bump together as they inhale and exhale. Donghyuck hates the way he practically whimpers when Mark closes his lips around his thumb, eyes on him all the while, and he can feel his tongue curl around it, hot and wet, and _why is that such a fucking turn on_ , he wonders.

“Mark,” he pants. He raises his other hand, moving both of them to cradle Mark’s face and loving the way his eyes close at the touch. He knows why he waited, why he ran, but thinking back on it he can’t believe how stupid he was because Mark is everything he ever wanted and now he has him. Now he’s here. Right here. “I love you.”

Mark’s eyes snap open. They’re wide and so open, so vulnerable. Donghyuck wants him to know that he can do that, too. That he can bare himself to Mark just as much as Mark has been willing to bare himself out to Donghyuck. It’s taken time and, perhaps, a lot of it will take even more time, but Donghyuck needs him to understand that he does love him. That he does want him. That this isn’t another thing Donghyuck will sweep under the rug and pretend never happened. Because this is all he’s ever wanted. He can’t lose it.

“I love you,” he repeats, quieter this time. Maybe even a little bit hesitant because Mark’s practically frozen on top of him, simply blinking. “Say something, please.”

A sigh escapes Mark’s lips. His head drops so his forehead is resting on Donghyuck’s collarbone, hair tickling his chin. There’s a moment, as Donghyuck’s heart starts to slow into an unsure and uneasy sort of rate, when he wonders if maybe he did something wrong. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to say that yet. He’s never had any kind of relationship before and how is he supposed to know?

But then Mark’s head is lifting and Donghyuck stills even more because Mark’s eyes are glistening and, _oh fuck_ , he made him cry. Yeah, he definitely did something wrong.

He opens his mouth to backpedal somehow, to tell him that he doesn’t need to respond yet, that he doesn’t need to say anything. They could just continue what they’re doing and move forward without even thinking it happened. Except, his voice cuts off when Mark smiles at him. It’s brilliant and bright and the happiest Donghyuck has ever seen.

Now, he’s confused.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters. “Maybe I shouldn’t have—”

“God,” Mark says, an airy chuckle jolting his words slightly. “Donghyuck, I’d do anything for you. Fuck, I have jumped into fire for you. If you asked me to do anything, I would without a question. Perhaps,” he shakes his head, “that’s not the healthiest thing, but I would. I love you, too, you absolute jerk.”

Donghyuck blinks. “What—”

“I’ve loved you since I was twelve,” Mark presses. “Since you fell on me and broke my nose. God, I can’t even explain it. I _adore_ you.”

“I just thought that maybe…Since Mina…You said you were on your way to moving on from me, so I—”

Mark shakes his head. “I’ve always loved you and I still love you. Nothing’s changed that. And I’m still trying to figure out if this is real or just another bloody dream.”

“It’s real,” he replies, softly. He knows because he’s been spending the last several minutes reminding himself of that fact. “So real. And I’m so sorry. For everything. I was an asshole and an idiot and I put you through so much.”

“It was worth it, though. You’re worth it.” Mark smiles that crooked smile of his and Donghyuck can’t help but grin back. However, Mark’s smile slowly drops and his fingers play with the collar of Donghyuck’s shirt, cautiously. “You’re here now, right? No more going back? It’s you and me, right?”

Donghyuck catches his hand and links their fingers together as he promises, “You and me. Should we just skip the awkward question and I’ll just call you my boyfriend and you can continue to stick your tongue down my throat?”

He’s proud of himself when Mark snorts and doubles over with laughter, head falling back onto Donghyuck’s chest. “Urgh, you’re awful.”

“That, unfortunately for you, will never change,” he admits. “I will continue to tease you well into old age.”

“At least when we’re old I’ll have a cane to hit you with in retaliation,” Mark says as he straightens up and pulls Donghyuck with him. He’s still perched between Donghyuck’s legs, still shirtless and very warm. Without warning, he yanks Donghyuck’s shirt up and over his head, thoroughly messing up his hair.

Donghyuck raises a brow. “You know, you don’t need to be old to own one of those. We could get you one, now. If you’re into that, I mean.”

Immediately, Mark’s face goes red. It goes up into his ears and flushes out his chest and, _yep_ , Donghyuck is very proud of himself, right now. It’s also slightly endearing that just moments ago Mark was slamming him against a door and throwing him onto his bed and now he’s blushing like the school boy he used to be and still is the majority of the time.

“Y-You,” he stutters. With a groan, he shoves Donghyuck back into the mattress and climbs on top of him again. “You are a menace, Donghyuck Lee, and I can’t believe I love you.”

“Well, you’re stuck with me forever.”

His smile is back, small, yet content, and Donghyuck thinks he very much prefers this expression over all the other ones. “I,” he kisses Donghyuck, “am not mad about that.”

Donghyuck sighs and wraps his arms around Mark’s neck. “Good. I’m not either.”

*

If Mark keeps drawing circles into his shoulder blade, he’s going to fall asleep. His eyes are already drooping, reminding him that he didn’t sleep last night, at all. Not to mention that, well, after what he’s just gone through, he’s most definitely ready to crash. Still, he refuses to move because Mark’s fingers dragging across his back feels so good, the tickle making his muscles tense and release in the best way possible.

“We’re going to need to talk,” Mark mutters, peering down at Donghyuck, who’s found home on his chest, arm curled around Mark’s middle and their legs intertwined.

“I know,” he says. His throat feels dry and scratchy.

He buries his face into Mark’s chest and breathes in, fully prepared to not move for the next few hours. Just a little while ago he was dragging his hands across Mark’s skin, sounds he never thought he’d make falling from his lips, as Mark unraveled him. As they ruined each other.

He wonders if the others heard them, if Jaemin or Renjun got curious and just wanted to check in, if Taeyong and Jaehyun are in the room right next to them, only separated by a door. Or, maybe, they were all smart enough to give them space. Because, despite his best efforts, Donghyuck hadn’t been quiet. Not astronomically loud, either, but certainly not quiet. Then again, Mark hadn’t watched his volume either, so at least he’s not alone there.

Everything about his body sings. He revels in it, enjoying the feeling of being relaxed to the max. It wasn’t that he didn’t think that could happen. He was with Mark. There was no way it was going to be tense. Just a little awkward, a few fumbles here and there. Donghyuck, of course, teased Mark effortlessly; if only just to ease some of his own awkwardness of not really knowing what to do. Mark gave it back tenfold through actions and unflinching comebacks that shocked Donghyuck into speechlessness. Or moans.

Just his memories spiked the fire inside him, heating him up even more than normal. Mark’s fingers come to a stop. “You okay? You suddenly got really hot.”

Donghyuck nods, face still in Mark’s chest. He had just managed to regulate his temperature to something warmer after feeling like he was practically boiling with Mark on him, touching him. He groans, shaking his head.

Mark’s laugh jostles his head. “Which is it?”

“M’fine,” he mumbles before pressing a kiss to Mark’s chest, drawing out a gasp from Mark, and sitting up. The blanket pools around his waist, the cool air hitting his skin. It feels nice. Glancing down, he takes in the red spots littering his own chest and raises a brow. “Wow, I don’t think I even registered half of these.”

“You weren’t exactly focused,” Mark teases. Donghyuck pokes him between the ribs and he yelps. “Hey!”

Donghyuck peers around the room, his clothes and Mark’s piled together on the floor at the end of the bed. He’s going to have to grab those, and yet he’s not sure he wants to move. It’s silly because Mark’s seen him. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Still, it feels a little different now that they aren’t in the middle of, well, sex.

God, he needs to stop being so diffident about the thought of it. That’s not like him at all. That’s Mark’s territory, unsure and awkward. Donghyuck’s supposed to be the confident one.

“You okay?” Mark shifts himself up so he can lean against the headboard. The look in his eye is dripping with concern and Donghyuck doesn’t like that. He doesn’t want Mark to feel like he regrets it because he doesn’t. At all. He’s been wanting to do this for years. And Mark’s been wanting it to. In a way, it’s long overdue.

Donghyuck crawls over to him and swings a leg over, straddling him. He bites his lip, holding back a hiss at the contact, and says, “I’m more than okay. Perfect even. Question, though.”

Brushing the fringe from Donghyuck’s forehead, Mark asks, “What is it?”

“Does this mean next time I get to fuck you?”

Mark pauses, blinks, and then laughs. His arms wrap around Donghyuck’s waist, tugging him forward and resting his head against Donghyuck’s shoulder. “God, I love you. Sure. Whatever you want.”

“Well, in that case…” He goes to lean back in, to pull Mark into another kiss and get this show on the road, but Mark takes his hands.

Their fingers link as Mark lowers them. “We really need to talk.”

“Can’t we do that after?” he whines. That manages to get him a kiss. He’s quite pleased about that.

“No.”

“Urgh, fine,” he grumbles as he slides out of Mark’s lap and collapses against the pillows. He gazes up at Mark with a smile because it’s impossible not to, at this point. He’s just so happy. “I love you.”

Mark smiles back, showing off his perfect teeth, and says, “I love you, too. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Flounder through life hopelessly,” he jokes.

“Probably. I mean, I did. A lot. Every time we were separate, I was struggling,” he admits and Donghyuck’s smile slips away.

Fingers filter through his hair. What he’s learned in the last hour is that Mark really likes touching his hair. And pulling it. But he’s not going to think about that. Not when Mark wants to be serious. When they _should_ be serious.

“Same,” Donghyuck says. “But we don’t need to worry about that anymore because we have each other and we aren’t going to leave each other.”

“I hope so,” whispers Mark.

Pushing himself up, fingers leaving his hair as he moves, Donghyuck leans over the bed. He almost falls, but Mark catches his arm and hulls him back. Jeans in his hands, he works at the back pocket and pulls out the card Taeyong gave him. He flips it so Mark can read it.

“I’m not planning on leaving you ever again,” Donghyuck says, voice soft. Barely a whisper. “I don’t want to worry about anything else coming in the way of us.”

Mark’s eyes scan the card before he takes it away completely. “This is…Are you actually?”

“I think so. I mean, I obviously have you to talk to, but Taeyong said this might help a little, and I think I should look into it. What do you think?”

“I think,” Mark starts, lowering the card, “you need to do what’s right for you. I’m going to support whatever you choose to do. You should know that by now. And Taeyong may be right. You never got counselling after your parents, and this might be a good idea.”

“I wasn’t sure at first. I don’t like the idea of unloading my shit on random strangers, but the more I think about it, the more I think it might not be a bad idea, you know?” He takes the card back and sets it on the bedside table. “Also, there’s a few things that I probably need to talk to you about, with everything that happened, but not, right now. Not while I’m still reeling from what just happened.”

The smile he gets is somewhat bashful. “Fair. Yeah, that’s fine. As long as we do it.”

“Oh, I definitely want to _do it_ ,” Donghyuck says with a wink and Mark nearly shoves him off the bed. “Watch it! Don’t break me before we can have more fun.”

“What did I get myself into?” Mark groans, face in his hands.

Donghyuck laughs and moves so he can press himself into Mark’s side. An arm settles around his shoulders. “Hey, was I better than Mina?”

He feels Mark tense around him. “I’m going to _actually_ shove you off this bed.”

Snickering, he says, “You wouldn’t do that. You love me too much. But, seriously…was I?”

“Wait, actually?” Mark twists to look Donghyuck in the eye. He adverts his gaze, cheeks flaming from embarrassment. “Oh, um. Yeah.” His head snaps up to find that Mark’s ears are just as red as his cheeks probably are. “You were.”

His mouth opens and closes, searching for words. “You’re just saying that,” is what he settles on.

Mark shakes his head. “No. I’m serious. You were definitely better. Not that she was _bad_. It was just different. Different circumstances and people. I wasn’t all that excited to sleep with her and, well, I really wanted to sleep with you.”

“Wow, such a charmer.” He gets a push on the shoulder and he laughs.

“I’m serious!” Mark says, voice cracking slightly. “Shut up. I’m telling the truth. Not that I only thought about sleeping with you, but, _urgh_ , you know what I mean!”

As his laugher dies down, Donghyuck nods. “I do. I do know what you mean. Your word choice might need some work, though, Mr. Up-and-coming-song-producer.”

“Writing songs and talking to you are two completely different skills,” Mark counters. “But, um, while we’re on the subject, was it good? For you?”

He feels flushed again, body jumping in temperature that he hopes Mark can’t feel. “Um, yeah, it was. If, you know, my comments during it weren’t enough to prove that. But I could always give you a play-by-play, complete with sound effects, if you really want it.”

Mark appears scandalized. “No! No, I’m good. Very, very good. That’s…just fine. I just wanted to, like, make sure you were…good. That I didn’t, I don’t know, hurt you or something.”

“I would have mentioned it,” Donghyuck tells him. “Or screamed it, depending on what was happening.”

“Sometimes, I don’t even know what to say to you when you say things like that.”

“Just tell me you love me and let me be amazing.”

Grinning, Mark says, “I can do that.”

He busies his hands with fixing the blanket around them. Not that he thinks they need it, but just to give him something to do as he asks, “Do you remember the night we fought?”

“Which one?” Mark grumbles, clearly not pleased to remember any of their fights. Donghyuck doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t like it either, but it feels like he needs to bring it up if they want to try and open up more.

“The one where I set the couch on fire? The one after I came back from the party?” He feels Mark nod against the side of his head. “I wanted to forget about you, after seeing you with Mina, so I made out with some random guy. Almost set him on fire because all I could think about was you. I was already convinced that being with you would just end up with you hurt, like my parents, and that night it felt like there was no chance at all. You had Mina. You didn’t need me.”

“You almost set him on fire?”

Donghyuck pulls away to frown at him. “That’s what you got out of that?”

“No, of course not,” Mark says, shifting a bit. “I can’t really say anything about it. Well, the part about the other guy, anyway. Especially considering my track record and that we weren’t together then. Still, it _is_ kind of nice to think that you almost set another guy on fire and you didn’t at all with me.”

“Mark Lee, you’re an idiot,” he sighs.

“I’m glad that you changed your mind about us,” Mark continues as he tugs Donghyuck back so he’s laying against his side again. “You’ve told me once that you think you aren’t worth it, and that your greatest concern is hurting people, but I don’t think you realize how much good you’ve done. All you’ve ever done is try to make things better for others and that, Donghyuck, makes you one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met in my life. And, I said it before, but I’ll say it again, you’re worth everything to me.”

“What if I hurt you? Then what?”

Mark’s fingers brush under Donghyuck’s jaw, bringing his head up so they can look at each other. Donghyuck glances at Mark’s lips. He wants to kiss him again. He doesn’t think he ever wants to stop.

“You’re not going to. I wasn’t just trying to convince you simply to wake you up, Hyuck. I was serious. No matter how you use your powers, you’ve always managed to protect me from it.” His fingers brush along the underside of Donghyuck’s jaw, drawing out a shiver that runs down his spine. “When I was going to get you, when you were in the coma, your fire moved out of the way for me. You may not remember it, but it happened.”

His eyebrows pull together in a frown. No, he doesn’t remember that. “It did?”

“Yeah,” he breathes. “It did. It let me get to you. Look, we won’t be able to solve everything in one day, but we don’t need to. We have time, and as long as we do it together, I can’t see why we can’t figure all this out. Agreed?”

“Agreed.” He presses a kiss to Mark’s shoulder. “And thank you. For coming after me, for bringing me back. For loving me.”

“You’re being very cheesy.”

Donghyuck shrugs and wraps his arms around Mark’s waist. “Shut up and leave me be. I’m tired.”

“Sure, that’s the only reason,” Mark chuckles. He kisses the top of Donghyuck’s head. “Do you think they’re going to come find us soon?”

“God, I hope not. I have so many other things I’d like to do with my time.”

“Oh, really?”

Humming, Donghyuck moves so he can straddle Mark’s lap again. “Really,” he says against Mark’s lips. He presses their chests together, loving the feeling. He drags his mouth over Mark’s jaw and down his throat, kisses like the brush of a feather. Mark’s fingers dig into his thighs, running down to his knees so he can yank him closer. A breathy moan escapes him.

Then, someone knocks on the door. Taeyong’s voice calls through the door conjoining their hotel rooms. “Are you two decent?”

Donghyuck shouts, “No!”

“Donghyuck!” Mark hisses, slapping his legs.

“What? There’s no way that Taeyong or Jaehyun have no idea what’s been going on in this room,” he says.

“While I would rather I didn’t,” Taeyong calls, “he’s right.”

Mark falls forward, forehead resting on Donghyuck’s chest. “Lovely. Just lovely.”

“Look, I’m sorry to interrupt, but Chenle just called and he’d like us all to meet him at the apartments. So, um, get dressed and meet us out front.” There’s a pause before he adds, “Within the next ten minutes. Don’t make me come back, Donghyuck.”

“Party pooper,” he mutters. “Fine, come on.”

“What?” Mark blinks up at him, his grip firm on Donghyuck’s hips.

Tilting his head, he says, “We have to go.”

“And I heard we have ten minutes.”

“That’s hardly enough—”

“Come here, baby.”

That has Donghyuck giving in faster than he’d like to admit. But it’s worth it, he thinks. Mark’s always worth it.

Even if they do show up nearly twenty minutes later, out of breath and very rumpled. Jaemin smirks at them and Taeyong shakes his head, but no one says anything about it. For today, they get off easy.

*

Donghyuck’s kind of surprised by the sheer amount of people Chenle’s called to come meet outside the apartment building. There’s his group of friends and Jungwoo with Lucas. Taeyong stands in the middle of the crowd, hand in Jaehyun’s. Johnny, Doyoung, Ten, and Ten’s boyfriend, Hendery, are there, too. Yuta leans against his boyfriend, Sicheng, eyes flittering around the group of them.

A little farther down the line is Hendery’s best friend, Dejun—who Donghyuck should have recognized right away, especially when he saw him at the hospital when Hendery had been admitted, because Donghyuck’s seen his face plastered across the magazines he’s read in the past. Still, it’s Jaemin who whispers his name in a questioning tone as if he can’t believe Donghyuck forgot about a famous model they’ve spoken about before quite a few times. Well, Donghyuck’s had a lot on his mind for a while now.

Somewhere on his right is YangYang, a boy Donghyuck has yet to meet, but someone Jisung knows. He stands next to Kun, clearly off his shift from the hospital because he’s still carrying his bag and his uniform is hidden under a light jacket. Taeil stands beside him, appearing tired and a little confused as to why he’s there. Granted, they all are.

The building is blocked off, caution tape stretched across the entrance and a wall of pylons being moved to surround the whole thing. From outside, there isn’t a lot of damage to be seen. But Donghyuck knows that the inside is charred and black, the fifth floor being the worst of it all. He’s pretty sure the sixth and forth are just as bad. A lot of the windows are shattered, the glass still not completely swept up along the concrete.

Jaemin nudges his arm, drawing his attention away from the apartments, and raises a brow. “You aren’t going to bother to hide those?” His eyes land on Donghyuck’s neck.

“No, why would I?” he asks, knowing exactly what’s caught Jaemin’s attention. When Jaemin smirks at him, he adds, “Don’t you dare. I said nothing the first time you and Jeno had sex and Jeno’s back looked like he had been mauled.”

Eyes wide, Jaemin inquires, “How do you know what it looked like?”

“His shirt slipped up when he was wrestling with Chenle, and only one thing would make those marks,” Donghyuck explains.

“Fine,” he says. “You get to have this time.”

“Deal. That just means I get free reign to tease you and Jeno any time I see a hickey or you limping.”

Jaemin frowns at that. “Speaking of limping—”

“I get this time, Nana. Remember?” he asks, sweetly.

“Was he at least good?”

“Jaemin!”

“What? I can’t ask?”

“No, you can’t.”

“Especially while I’m right here,” Mark adds, under his breath, and Donghyuck smiles at him.

“You’re both boring,” Jaemin says.

Donghyuck snorts. “Nothing we did was boring.”

Beside him, Mark squawks, “Donghyuck!”

“Fine, fine. I won’t kiss and tell,” he says. “At least while you’re with me.”

“I hate you,” Mark says, but he slips his hand into Donghyuck’s and tugs him closer so their sides are pressed together. He gets the softest smile and Donghyuck knows he’s not in trouble.

A sharp clap gets their attention. Chenle stands in the middle of them all, directly in front of the building, beaming so all his teeth show. “Hey, everyone! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Chenle. Nice to meet you!” YangYang waves at him and Chenle returns it, happily. “You’re sort of the first group I’m talking to because most of you are my friends or friends of my friends. I figured you all deserved the news first.”

“What news, Chenle?” Taeyong prompts. Except, there’s a glint in his eyes that says he knows exactly what news he’s is talking about.

“Say hello to my newest investment!” Chenle gestures to the building behind him.

Donghyuck’s jaw drops. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I bought the building,” he reiterates. “Just today. I’m going to talk to all the tenants and then I’m going to knock it down since it isn’t structurally sound anymore, and rebuild it. I’ll cover hotel costs and storage for people who need it. But I’m really excited. I have tons of ideas! And I wanted you all to be the first to know.”

“Knock it down and rebuild it,” Doyoung says, eyeing the building. “How long will that take?”

“Not long at all, actually. I have a few very useful power users on my side who will make the whole thing go by quickly and smoothly. Super handy,” says Chenle. “So, six or seven months? Should be ready by Christmas.”

“That fast?” Jaemin puts in.

Power users were not to be underestimated, Donghyuck thinks as runs his gaze over each floor of the building. It’s not a small place, so he knows the effort it will take to redo. Around him, people begin to talk, murmur, and Chenle moves so he can stand next to Jisung and take his hand.

“I can make it work so that maybe we have a place to stay, too,” Chenle tells him, quietly. Jisung flushes red. “If you want, that is.”

“I, um, wouldn’t hate that?” he stammers.

Chenle smiles and then looks to Donghyuck. “You want your own apartment? You could share with Mark.”

Donghyuck’s hand tightens on Mark’s, a little startled. “Oh, um, I…”

He glances to Mark, only to find Mark already looking back at him with an unreadable expression. It’s not that he doesn’t want to. He definitely wants to. A lot. Sharing a place with Mark would be amazing, especially after everything. Even still, they have so much to work out and Donghyuck isn’t sure if moving in together would be rushing it.

There’s also the added fact that Lucas and Jungwoo are engaged and will probably need their own place soon. Donghyuck can’t stay with them forever.

“You have more than enough time to think about it,” Chenle says, sensing the hesitation. “There’ll be a couple new floors, so you can just tell me if you want one of the apartments, okay?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Okay.”

Mark squeezes his hand and lifts one corner of his mouth in a half-smile, one that tells Donghyuck it’s okay. That he understands. Donghyuck thinks they may be on the same page with this. They’ll talk about it. Later.

For now, they stand on the sidewalk, chatting among themselves. Chenle drifts from person to person, talking about ideas and plans, and Donghyuck thinks this is a good project for Chenle. His parents want him to take over the family company, and Chenle is willing to do it, but he isn’t the kind of person to sit behind a desk. He wants to reform things, be creative. This is a great balance, Donghyuck decides. It’s nice to see Chenle doing something he’s so excited to do, something he’ll love. 

Donghyuck shifts his weight so he’s leaning on Mark.

“You okay?” Mark asks.

Nodding, he says, “I’m happy.”

A kiss is pressed to the top of his head. “I’m glad. Me, too.”

For once, nothing can bring him down from this high. Not even the problems he has yet to touch. He’ll deal with those in the time to come, but, for now, he’s simply just happy, and that’s all he wants to care about.

*

Court, Donghyuck realizes, is not like it is in the movies.

It’s boring, filled with too many words he doesn’t understand, and slow. While it may not always be slow, this court trial feels like they’ve been there for hours. It might be because he doesn’t know what Taeil is saying half the time, or because he keeps checking the clock only to find a few minutes have passed each time, or because he’s trying to desperately not to glance over at his aunt, who sits at the table beside his with her own lawyer.

Behind him, Mark and Jungwoo watch the whole thing silently. Donghyuck hasn’t looked back at them once, nerves keeping him rooted and facing forward. He can feel Mark’s eyes on him. That’s as comforting as it’s going to get for now, he thinks.

Taeil seems to know what he’s doing. His words are smooth, yet forceful. With every attack thrown his way, he has a counter. Donghyuck’s already been up to the stand to talk. It wasn’t easy. He kept his eyes on the microphone in front of him. When he agreed to be a witness—something that’s not usually used in trust fund cases—he had forgotten his aunt would be directly in front of him and that her lawyer would get a chance to ask questions.

He had been harsh, rude, a good lawyer. Donghyuck had bitten his tongue to keep the words ‘go fuck yourself’ from leaving his mouth by the end of it.

In all honesty, he didn’t think the whole thing would turn out this large, this important. All he wanted was his money back and, now, here he is in front of a judge, all but begging for that to happen. At one point, the judge looks at him and Donghyuck thinks he sees pity in her eyes. It’s the only time Donghyuck wants it. Because pity will get him what he wants. Pity will be the karma used against his aunt.

He remembers Jungwoo coming to him a few weeks ago to tell him that he and Taeil had continued to work on his case while he was in a coma. It had taken him a few moments to remember because, truthfully, he’s had so much on his mind that he finds sometimes things slip through. Mark’s been too much of a distraction, as well. Not that he minds all that much.

Regardless, Taeil was the one to set the court date, to get him ready to be on the stand, to walk him through everything. Jungwoo was at his side the whole time, smiling at him as if trying to make Donghyuck feel better even though it’s Jungwoo’s mom they’re going up against. If anyone needs someone to make them feel better, it’s Jungwoo.

Dealing with his aunt, even when she’s not around, has been stressful. Donghyuck will be happy when it’s over and he doesn’t have to worry about it any longer. He just wishes it didn’t need to be this way. That Jungwoo could still have his parents, that Donghyuck didn’t have to be the one to tear them apart. It doesn’t matter how many times Jungwoo tells him that it isn’t his fault, it still feels like it on occasion. Especially today.

Today, they’ll be deciding what happens. Donghyuck hopes, with a sickening feeling in his stomach, that he wins. Even if it means his aunt needs to pay the fine and do jail time. Donghyuck wants what his parents wanted him to have.

He’s barely paying attention until he hears a loud slam of the gavel against its block, shocking him out of his thoughts. He stares at the judge, then to Taeil, who’s sweeping the sheets up with a grin on his face. It isn’t until Donghyuck glances back at Mark and Jungwoo, both smiling, that he realizes he won. Well, Taeil won, but he won with him, so he’ll take it.

“Here,” Taeil holds out a sheet of paper. “Figured you should know what’s coming your way.”

Donghyuck takes it. The number on the page makes his jaw drop. “Wait, you said we couldn’t get it all back.”

“Unfortunately, we couldn’t,” Taeil says. “That’s what we could, though. That’s what we were fighting for. Congrats, Donghyuck, you’ve got yourself quite a nest egg. Don’t spend it all in one place.”

This is not what he was expecting. Nowhere close. He never thought his parents were rich. Then again, he never really paid much attention to it as a child. Their home was standard, he wasn’t spoiled, and his parents didn’t spend all that much from what he can remember. Still, this number is larger than anything he had prepared himself for.

A whistle startles him and he glances over his shoulder to find Mark looking down at the page. “Wow. You’re set for life.”

“Shall I be your sugar daddy, Mark Lee?” he teases, happy to see Mark’s ears go red. “Oh, your ears say yes.”

Mark shoves him, nearly knocking him off the chair, but they’re both laughing all the same.

Jungwoo is on him in seconds, hugging him as tightly as he can muster. “I’m so proud of you, little brother. So proud!”

Ever since he woke up, Jungwoo’s taken all the chances in the world to call Donghyuck ‘little brother’ and Donghyuck doesn’t hate it. In fact, he loves it because, for all intents and purposes, Jungwoo is his brother. No matter what anyone says.

They’re standing up when Liu Wen walks by their table, hands linked up behind her in cuffs. Her lawyer looks indifferent to the whole situation and Donghyuck thinks that, _yes_ , this man knew exactly the kind of person he was trying to defend.

Her eyes are narrow and sharp, like shards of glass, as she locks her gaze on Donghyuck and says, “You think you won this, Donghyuck, but you’ll always be a monster. The bastard child who took my sister from me and then my own son.”

“After all these years,” Donghyuck says, trying to keep his voice steady, “you still can’t seem to realize that I lost just as much as you did that night.”

“I wasn’t the one that killed them.”

Donghyuck takes Mark’s hand, searching for something to keep him both grounded and from taking a swing at his aunt. “And I didn’t take your son. He realized what kind of monster you were and didn’t want to have anything to do with you.”

“Fuck you,” she spits.

“I hope those few years in prison do you well, auntie,” he says, forcing on a smile.

“Jungwoo,” says Liu Wen, turning to look at her son with wide eyes and downturned lips. As if he’ll fall for it. “Jungwoo, how could you do this to me? Your own mother.”

Beside him, Jungwoo scans her over, expression impassive. Then, in the calmest voice that sends a shiver down Donghyuck’s spine, he asks, “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

There’s a beat, uncomfortable and heavy, where no one knows what to say. Even Liu Wen is speechless. She doesn’t get time to come up with words to say, however, because the security is pushing her from the room until she disappears completely.

Donghyuck glances to Jungwoo. He’s not looking at where his mom vanished, or even at any of them. He’s found a spot on the floor to glare at, fists tight at his sides. Donghyuck puts a hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze, and Jungwoo finally looks at him.

“It’s okay, Duckie,” he whispers. “This was supposed to happen. It’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry,” he says back and he hugs Jungwoo. Just because no amount of words will ease this situation for either of them. They’re going to get through it all. Together.

A few minutes later, Taeil leads them out. He tells Donghyuck and Jungwoo to meet him again, to sort out final details, and then hurries off. Jungwoo drives them all back to the hotel, quiet and solemn. Donghyuck doesn’t even try to say anything. There’s still a buzz of happiness, but it’s dulled by the reality that Liu Wen, and her husband, are now paying for their crime.

When they finally get back, Jungwoo tells Donghyuck to come back to the room when he’s ready. Although, both of them know that might not happen. Over the last few weeks, Donghyuck’s been spending more and more time in Mark’s room than the one he was originally assigned, which, for everyone, works out for the best. Now, Jungwoo and Lucas have some time to themselves.

“Well, that was an eventful afternoon,” Mark says, breaking the silence as they settle into the hotel room.

Donghyuck flops back on the bed. “Simultaneously one of the worst and best moments of my life. I feel bad for Jungwoo. I wish I could figure out a way to make it better, but I feel like that’s impossible.”

“Listen,” Mark says as he moves to sit next to Donghyuck and pulls him into a sitting position. He runs his thumbs over Donghyuck’s knuckles. “You didn’t make her commit a crime. She did that on her own. You weren’t at trial because you wanted to break her away from Jungwoo, you were at trial because you wanted your money back. Money she took from you. Jungwoo separating himself from her has been an ongoing thing, even before all this happened. It won’t be easy for him, but you shouldn’t blame yourself. He wants to have you in his life. He chose that. Don’t feel bad about his choice, okay?”

Sighing, he rests his head on Mark’s shoulder. “Fine. But it still sucks.”

“Yeah, it does,” he agrees. After a moment, he asks, “What do you think you’re going to do with the money?”

“I don’t know. Put it in an account and wait. I don’t really need anything,” he replies. “Maybe I’ll use it for rent or something.”

Mark hums. “What about school? Do you still have payments to make for this year?”

“Actually, about that,” he says, leaning away. Mark raises a brow. “Um, I’m thinking I’m going to drop out.”

Both eyebrows raise. Donghyuck chews on his lower lip, waiting. He wants to believe it was a hard choice, deciding not to continue with school, but it wasn’t. After coming out from a coma and realizing he wasn’t actually living his life, he doesn’t want to go back to reading textbooks and sitting in lectures. It isn’t what he wants, nor what he likes. It’s just not his thing. He needs to spend time finding out what his thing is first.

But, even after making the choice, Donghyuck simply deferred his semester with the help from Kun and a very nice medical note, until he could get everything back on track. Thinking that, maybe, he’d change his mind. He hasn’t. He likes not doing school. He has other interests that don’t require him to do it. He’d rather see where those go and then figure out the next step.

Still, he’s held back on telling Mark. Not that he would be angry—never angry—but because Donghyuck doesn’t want to disappoint him. He’d been so happy when Donghyuck got into university. The last thing he wants to do is tell him he’s not going to complete it.

So, he waits for Mark to say something. Anything.

“Okay.”

Donghyuck blinks. “Okay?”

Mark offers him a small smile. “I know it’s not something you were enjoying, and that you didn’t want to do it in the first place. If that’s not what you want to do, I’m not going to force you. Besides, you have all the time in the world to figure things out. I can help, if you want.”

“How the fuck,” he asks, “did I end up with you?”

A laugh bubbles out of Mark’s throat and he pulls Donghyuck in for a hug. “You’ll work it out. I know you will. You’re Donghyuck Lee. I have no doubts in my mind.”

“Thank you,” he says against Mark’s neck. “I’ll find something, I promise. Some kind of job or, I don’t know, maybe an internship somewhere.”

“Well, I did have something I wanted to talk to you about. Something you might be interested in.”

Curiosity peaked, he leans back to ask, “What is it?”

“You remember how I interned at SM Entertainment before school started?” Donghyuck nods. “They asked me to come back next break. They’re working on some things and wanted my help on it.”

“That’s amazing, Mark.”

“It is,” he says, slowly, causing Donghyuck to tilt his head at the tone. “They want to use one of my songs.”

Donghyuck’s jaw drops. “Wait, what?”

“Before I left, I gave them some songs. Just ideas. They weren’t really finished and I had to do the demo myself, so I’m sure it wasn’t the greatest—”

“I’m hearing a lot of lies in there, but I’m not going to focus on that, right now. We’ll come back to those. Skip to the part that they want to use your work. Like, on an album?”

Mark’s smile is sheepish at best, tiny and hesitant. “Yeah. They want me to polish it up and do a new demo and bring it back when I’m out of school for break. And I wanted to ask you to help me.”

“Help?” His eyebrows knit together. “Help how?”

“It’s got a lot of singing in it and you and I both know that’s not my strong suit—”

“Again, hearing lies.”

“Donghyuck,” he chastises, but he’s still smiling. “I think you’d do a better job. So, would you be willing to sing my demo? If they like it, they’ll pay us both for it. And we both know how good your voice is, so maybe we can get them to agree for you to sing all the songs on the demo album. What do you think?”

“I think,” Donghyuck stands up and moves so he’s sitting right on Mark’s lap, thighs caging his hips, and says, “I’m in.”

“Oh, thank god,” Mark laughs. “I was prepared to beg.”

“Were you? Damn it, I missed my chance to get you on your knees?”

Dark eyes flit to his lips and Mark mumbles, “Don’t have to do much for that.”

Donghyuck pushes him back and Mark lets out a soft grunt as his back hits the mattress. “Do you think Taeyong and Jaehyun are next door?”

Rolling his eyes up to stare at the wall separating the two rooms, he says, “No. Jaehyun has class and Taeyong’s working. Place is empty.”

“Good,” Donghyuck says, moving to lift Mark’s shirt over his head. He runs his nails down Mark’s chest, earning himself a low groan that ignites the fire in him. It twists, hot and palpable, thrumming happily. “So, we don’t need to care about being quiet.”

“Well, I think a little decorum is for the best in a place like this. Let’s not forget the other people in this hotel, baby,” Mark says, gasping when Donghyuck’s fingers brush his skin while trying to undo his pants. “Okay, yeah, sure, mhmm.”

Donghyuck can’t help the laugh that spills out of him. “Are you this turned on already? What the fuck, Mark?”

“I can’t help it,” he whines. “It just happens sometimes. Can we get on with it?”

“God, you’re impatient today,” he says. “Am I not satisfying you enough or something?”

Mark grip his wrists, eyes snapping to Donghyuck’s. They’re so black and dark and there’s arousal there, but also a bit of worry. “Fuck, no. You’re definitely doing enough and that’s the problem. I don’t—You’re just—I’m going to shut up now.” He flops back on the bed completely.

Biting his lip to keep himself from laughing more, Donghyuck pops the button on his jeans and says, “Good idea, love.”

When Donghyuck finally gets Mark out of his pants and himself out of his own clothes, he finds Mark’s attention off to the side. He follows his gaze to the little, stuffed lion that sits on the desk. He smiles despite himself. Even Mark had been surprised the thing survived the fire.

“Are you ever going to tell me what you named him?” Mark asks, quietly. His gaze flits back to Donghyuck, moving slightly so Donghyuck can sit on his lap.

“Minhyung,” Donghyuck answers.

Mark stares at him for a moment, his eyes bouncing between Donghyuck’s. He cups Donghyuck’s nape and yanks him in until their lips collide. It’s hard and a bit desperate and Mark kisses him so utterly senseless that when he finally pulls back, they’re both out of breath.

“What was that for?” he gasps.

“I just,” Mark runs his hands along Donghyuck’s jaw, “can’t seem to stop doing that.”

“Then, don’t stop.”

*

Dejun and Hendery no longer occupy a penthouse at the very top of the apartment building. They still have a rather large apartment, where Ten lives as well, but it’s below the top floor, which is now an overly big venue area that can be decorated for any occasion and rented out to anyone who needs it. Today, it’s rented out to Chenle as he hosts their very first Christmas party together.

The apartment building itself has been rebuilt into something newer, cleaner, and definitely sleeker than it was before. All the tenants came back about a month ago, with their rent the same it’s always been, and Chenle’s done well for himself. Donghyuck’s proud of him and Chenle should definitely be proud of himself. It’s quite a project to undertake, as well as get done in the time he got it done in.

And Donghyuck’s not sure if Chenle only wanted the top floor for this Christmas party and just decided it would be a good place to rent out, or if he wanted a place to rent out and saw an opportunity, but it doesn’t really matter. In the end, here they all are, slowly gathering together, dressing up the room with probably far too many decorations than is actually needed.

There’s garland and ribbons, mistletoe—that Jaemin keeps running around with just to get kisses on the cheek while Jeno watches half-amused, half in disbelief—and sparkling lights. Taeyong’s brought candles, which Donghyuck took time lighting and placing in the center of the tables among the very pretty center pieces Ten bought. By the row of windows that view out into the city, are two buffet tables, one with all the dinner foods and the other filled with sweets and pastries Taeyong made. Where he found the time, Donghyuck will never know.

“Hey, where’s Mark?” Jaemin asks as he joins Donghyuck by the ridiculously tall Christmas tree. It’s lit up with rows of fairy lights and decorated with red, white, and gold bobbles of various sizes. Donghyuck somehow got stuck with the job of organizing the gifts under the tree. Instead of doing most of the gift giving in their homes, Chenle thought it would be fun to have everyone do it here, together. Donghyuck’s not against that, but there are some things he’s willing to give in front of prying eyes and others he’d rather wait for closed doors.

Donghyuck swats away the mistletoe Jaemin tries to hold over their heads and says, “He left this morning to do some errands; last-minute things for Chenle.”

“And what about your errand? Did you get the thing you wanted while he was out?”

Blowing out his cheeks, trying to reduce the rising blood flow to them, Donghyuck continues to shift the gifts around. All of the ‘To: Taeyong’s together and all of the ‘To: Chenle’s together. After the last few months, Donghyuck gotten a handle on all the names and people and who’s connected with who. Now they’re a stupidly large group of friends with an even stupidly larger group chat.

“Yeah,” he replies. “I did.”

Jaemin moves in close, eyes sparkling. “Really? Let’s see!”

“No, I’m not letting you see his gift before he gets a chance to,” Donghyuck says, shoving him away. “You’ll see later.”

“Fine,” he pouts. “What about your hair? Has he seen that?”

Donghyuck reaches up to touch his hair, now dyed a bright purple. “Yesterday. After I got it done.”

“Well, it’s very pretty. I’m glad to see you doing that again,” says Jaemin with a smile.

It’s odd because it’s been so long since he dyed his hair, or even felt the need to. It used to be just something for fun, for a change, to distract himself from life. It evolved into something he simply did just because he wanted to. And, yeah, it might have had something to do with Mark’s reactions, as well, and how he couldn’t keep his eyes off him—much like how he reacted last night—but then things happened and it felt useless, like he shouldn’t have Mark’s attention like that at all. So, he stopped. Now, he gets to have a bit of fun with it again without that extra worry.

And startling Mark is always fun, especially now that Mark not only can’t keep his eyes off him, but also his hands.

That’s definitely a bonus.

There’s a commotion by the door, drawing both Jaemin and Donghyuck’s attention. Yuta and Sicheng are here, stripping free of their coats with bags in their hands full of gifts. Two boys are with them, faces Donghyuck doesn’t recognize.

Yuta gives one of them the bags and gestures to Donghyuck and Jaemin. At first, the boy doesn’t move, but then Yuta gives him a gentle nudge and he starts walking over, the other boy following close behind. The one with the bags keeps his head slightly low, his ash-blond bangs in his eyes and his lips pressed tightly together. The other is tall, almost as tall as Lucas or Johnny, Donghyuck would think, with reddish hair and bright eyes. They stop together.

“Uh, hey,” Donghyuck says, unsure of what’s going on.

The boy holds out the bags. “Yuta said to bring these over to you.” He has a slight accent, something a little stronger than Yuta’s.

“Thanks.”

“What’s your names?” Jaemin asks, curiosity seeping into his tone. And, _uh oh_ , Donghyuck knows that face. That’s the face he gets when he looks at Chenle and Jisung. Like a mother to their child. God, they don’t need more kids to look after.

“I’m Sungchan,” the taller one says, a bit brighter and happier than the other. He seems infinitely more comfortable with strangers. “This is Shotaro. Yuta’s cousin.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Jaemin.”

“Donghyuck,” he supplies when he realizes Jaemin isn’t going to do it. He nudges Jaemin’s leg to get him to move over. He needs more room to sort.

“Oh, so you’re the people Yuta talks about,” Sungchan says, with a slight nod. “Is there a Mark around? He always talks about Mark. And Jisung. It’d be nice to get names to the faces.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Mark is god knows where, but Jisung’s over in the corner.” He makes the mistake of waving his hand with a gift still in his clutches because it slips from his fingers and goes flying.

He doesn’t have to move, however, because a hand appears out of nowhere and catches it mid-air. Donghyuck follows the arm, hoping to see who caught it, but all he sees is more arm and more arm until finally he lands on Sungchan’s grinning face. What the actual hell fuck?

“You stretch!” Jaemin exclaims, watching as Sungchan pulls his arm back to its normal length and hands Donghyuck the present back.

Sungchan laughs. “Yep! It’s handier than it looks.”

“And you?” ask Donghyuck to Shotaro.

He shifts, almost uncomfortably, and says, “I make things disappear.”

“Well, shit. Remind me not to piss you off. I’d hate for my things to start vanishing.”

Weirdly enough, that manages to get a smile from Shotaro. One that makes his eyes disappear and his cheeks puff out. “I only do it to annoy people.”

Donghyuck thinks they might get along after all.

Jaemin ends up dragging Sungchan and Shotaro over to meet everyone else, leaving Donghyuck to his task. He’s nearing the end when he feels someone behind him and a pair of hands cover his eyes. Rolling his eyes behind the hands, he reaches up to pull them away so he can turn around. Mark grins at him, wide and unashamed and so fucking handsome.

Yeah, Donghyuck’s never letting him go.

“Hey,” Mark greets, moving to sit down beside him. “What are you up to?”

“Sorting. Put this one in the Yuta pile,” he says as he hands over a gift. Mark does as he asks. “You took longer than you said.”

“I don’t think Chenle realized how busy it was going to be out there. Not to mention, I had to go to four different stores to get everything on the list,” says Mark. “Did you miss me?”

Yes, he thinks. “Not at all. Can you put this on in your pile?”

Mark takes the gift, one from Jeno, and looks around. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere over there.”

“Wow, descriptive,” he replies, but he finds it seconds later. “Taeyong says everyone is here, so we’ll be eating now. Let’s go eat.”

“I’m almost done.”

“Finish after.”

“It’s literally three more gifts,” he argues. He holds out two of them. “Taeyong and Jaehyun. And Jaemin. Okay, let’s go, you big baby.”

Mark smiles as he helps him up and drapes an arm around his shoulders. “This place looks amazing.”

“It better,” he grumbles. “It took a team of ten and you got out of it, somehow.”

“I ended up having to go out into a war zone, so I’m not sure I won in this competition.”

“No, I definitely did.” Donghyuck grins up at him. “I always win.”

A kiss lands on his cheek, causing him to flush. “Yeah, you do.”

“PDA!” Jaemin shouts from their table, pointing at Donghyuck and Mark.

Donghyuck makes a face. “Shut your yap. You do so much worse!”

Because it’s true. He does. At least Mark and Donghyuck like to keep their affection out of people’s sights for the most part. He’s still getting used to holding hands in front of his friends. The last thing he’s about to do is crawl into Mark’s lap and make out with him while they’re at a Christmas party.

He takes a seat at the table, only to realize there’s an extra chair beside Renjun. He furrows his brow. “Um, who else is joining us?”

“My girlfriend,” Renjun says, taking a sip from his glass as everyone falls deathly silent.

Jaemin is the first to recover. Even if his eyes are still blown wide and his mouth is unsure of how to form the words he wants. “I-I’m sorry. Who? What? Girlfriend? When?”

“A few weeks ago,” Renjun replies with a shrug. “Didn’t think it was worth mentioning until I needed to, you know?”

“No,” Jaemin says, “I don’t know. Who’s your girlfriend? Where is she? She’s coming here?”

It shouldn’t be all that weird, Donghyuck thinks. Pretty much everyone in the room has brought someone if they have a partner to bring. Johnny showed up with the blond from the first floor, happily showing her off as if people didn’t know they started dating almost nine months ago. Donghyuck thinks he’s just at the stage where he can’t believe he managed to actually ask her out _and_ get her to agree to continue to date him.

Even Doyoung brought his girlfriend, Joy. That had been an event, complete with Johnny’s jaw dropping and shouting, “You’re straight? Since when?”

“I’ve always been straight! Fucking hell, Johnny!” Doyoung had yelled back, face red. “We’ve been friends since high school! I’ve told you before!”

Needless to say, Joy was quite amused and Doyoung definitely wasn’t. Donghyuck got a good laugh, though. So, Renjun bringing a partner shouldn’t be weird. But Renjun having a girlfriend and not telling them about it is definitely weird.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Mark asks.

Renjun tilts his head and shrugs once more. “I don’t know. Like I said, didn’t think I needed to. We haven’t been official for long. Just going on dates for a while. I didn’t want to jinx it. She should be here soon.”

“I just can’t believe this,” Jaemin says, leaning back in his chair and staring at the table. Jeno rubs his shoulder soothingly. “I can’t believe I didn’t know. I can’t believe you didn’t tell us. I feel so betrayed.”

“Honestly, Nana. It’s not that big of a deal,” Renjun says.

Jaemin glares at him. “I’m not talking to you, traitor!”

Laughing, Mark takes Donghyuck’s hand under the table and sends him a sparkling expression that tells Donghyuck that he finds the whole thing very entertaining. Never underestimate the power of Jaemin’s theatrics. They could rival Donghyuck’s on any given day, depending on how he’s feeling.

Renjun shakes his head at him and turns around. “Oh, there she is.” 

He waves a bit over his head and Donghyuck follows his gaze until he spots a very familiar looking girl. She waves back, smile wide, and hurries over. Beside him, Mark tenses.

“Yeri?” he manages, voice thick and stunned.

Yeri stops by Renjun, allowing him to get up and pull out her chair. She looks across the table at Mark and grins, nothing but friendly. “Hey, Mark. How are you?”

“Yeri,” he breathes. “You’re dating Yeri? As in my ex-girlfriend Yeri? When didn’t this happen? _How_ did this happen? I don’t—Ow, Hyuck!”

Donghyuck smirks when Mark rips his hand away, palm just a bit red. Not a burn, but a sting. Maybe then Mark would realize that his boyfriend is sitting right fucking beside him while he worries about his ex-girlfriend. Donghyuck doesn’t consider himself the jealous type, but there’s something about Mark freaking out over his ex-girlfriend that makes him want all of Mark’s attention.

Besides, Yeri is nice and Donghyuck likes her and he likes to think there’s nothing awkward between them all since it’s been ages since Mark’s actually talked to Yeri, in general. He doesn’t even think she remembers him from that brief introduction with her inside Mark’s house and Donghyuck on the porch.

Except, she sends Donghyuck a smile, something faint and secret, and Donghyuck thinks he might actually be wrong about that.

“Didn’t have to burn me,” Mark mutters under his breath.

“Oh, please, my hand got a little hot,” he counters. “I didn’t _burn_ you. I know my own strength.”

He goes to take Mark’s hand, but he narrows his eyes. “You going to do that again?”

“I will if you keep flipping out,” he warns, holding out his hand and wiggling his fingers.

Sighing, Mark takes it and slips their conjoined hands under the table. “You’re a menace.”

“Meh, you love me for it.”

And Mark’s eyes glitter at that, saying silently that, _yes_ , he totally does. It makes Donghyuck’s heart flutter.

*

“Okay, I think that’s everyone,” Taeyong says, placing his hands on his hips and looking around the insanely large circle. “I guess we just have at it?”

“Presents!” YangYang shouts from across the room as he dives into his pile to rip open one of his gifts.

Taeyong shrugs. “Well, okay then. Have at it.”

There’s just something so utterly chaotic about a group of twenty-six people just tearing into presents with no rhyme or reason. Wrapping paper and ribbons are everywhere. The sound of dozens of voices clashing and shouting and laughing is almost painful to his eardrums. It’s just so extremely Christmas that Donghyuck somewhat feels like he’s in a movie.

Christmas’ at the Kim household was never all that exciting for him. He and Jungwoo used to wake up unreasonably early, before Jungwoo’s parents were even awake, and swap gifts. Something small, something useful and personal, and then Donghyuck would slip out of the house just as his aunt and uncle’s alarm went off, just to go to Mark’s or Jaemin’s, depending on how things were at the time, and spend the morning there. Then, all his friends would get together for the rest of the day, until Donghyuck went home, sun going down and his aunt and uncle tucked into the living room so they barely noticed his presence.

He’s never been to a party like this, never been surrounded by so many people he considers more like his family than his friends. It’s kind of overwhelming, but in all the best ways. He gets to watch their faces light up, the way they laugh and share. The happiness is contagious.

“Aren’t you going to open yours?” Mark whispers in his ear, one of his own gifts half-way opened already.

“I will. In a bit. What’s that?”

“I think it’s from Jeno,” Mark replies as he takes away the paper to reveal a box. Inside is a set of new headphones. Professional looking ones. “Wow, these are—”

“Expensive,” Jeno interrupts from the other side of Jaemin. “Don’t you dare lose them or break them.”

Mark laughs. “Would never!”

Donghyuck watches Mark open his gifts, collecting the waste and putting it into a bag for Taeyong to take later. He’s pretty sure Taeyong’s going to use it all for something later, but he doesn’t ask.

The last gift in Mark’s pile is one from him. It’s not his actual gift. His real one is hidden from view, awaiting its time, but Mark deserved something else, if anything. The box is long and a little thin. Mark eyes it from all sides and shoots Donghyuck a questioning look. All he can do is smirk, and Mark’s eyes narrow, knowing full-well that a smirk on Donghyuck’s face brings nothing but trouble.

Still, Mark opens it. Or, at least, opens it slightly. He catches sight of what’s inside and slams the top closed, ears as red as the Christmas tree bobbles. Lips formed in a tight line, he turns to Donghyuck and stares.

Donghyuck grins, wide, nothing but teeth, and asks, “Yes, love?”

“I hate you.”

“I figured you might need it, you know? Getting old and everything.”

Mark’s brows pull together. “I can’t believe you.”

“Sure, you can,” he says as he leans forward so that his lips are next to Mark’s ear. “Besides, think of all the fun you could have with it.”

“Where the hell did you even get this?” Mark grits out. Donghyuck can see his fingers grip the box tighter, knuckles going white.

“I asked Ten for help,” Donghyuck tells him, moving back to look Mark in the eye. “He was quite helpful, actually.”

Burying his face in one of his hands, Mark groans, “God, I didn’t need to know that.”

“Hey, it was either that or a whip and I figured that could be explained easier,” Donghyuck tells him, pointing to the box.

Mark stills. “How could this be explained easier? I’m not that old, Hyuck!”

“No, but it’s a good costume prop, don’t you think?” Donghyuck asks.

Shaking his head, he says, “You think of everything, don’t you?”

“One of us has to.”

A kiss lands on his forehead and when Mark pulls back, he smiles. “I love you, but I’m not using this on you.”

“You’ll change your mind. Just you wait.”

That earns him another groan, and he laughs. Mark sets the box down, almost a like it’ll bite him, and urges Donghyuck to unwrap his own gifts. It’s interesting because all his friends know he doesn’t collect _things_. He finds trinkets not really necessary for his lifestyle. So, a lot of his gifts are things to wear—Renjun gets him a really nice leather jacket that he thinks he might just never take off—or things he can use for school. They’re useful and practical and he has to smile because, _god_ , he loves them all.

He gets to the bottom of the pile, realizing he never opened one from Mark. He looks up, curious and pensive. From behind his back, Mark brings out a box. It’s the size of his palm, flat and square. The paper is simple, green and shiny. Donghyuck takes it from him, carefully.

“What is it?” he asks, not wanting to shake it, just in case.

Mark chuckles. His ears are red. Even redder than they were when he saw Donghyuck’s gag gift. “You have to open it and find out.”

Doing as he’s told, he sticks his finger in the seam and pops it. As cautiously as he can, he unwraps the box and takes off the top. His heart jumps to his throat and he tries to swallow it down. There, on a cotton cushion, is a golden necklace with a pendant, the size of the tip of his finger, in the shape of a sun. It twinkles at him in the lights of the room, stunning him silent.

“Is it—Is it okay?” Mark asks, tentatively.

Donghyuck runs his fingers over the chain and nods, not trusting his words. He places the box in his lap so he can take the necklace out completely and let it dangle in front of his face. It’s pretty. Simple, but pretty, and he loves it. He just doesn’t know how to say that, so, instead, he turns to Mark and holds it out, asking, “Put it on me?”

Mark does, his fingers brushing the nape of his neck as he tries to clasp it. “I know it’s not much, but it reminded me of you and, I don’t know, I’ve always said you were like my sun. My full sun. Haechan.”

Brushing his fingers over the pendant, he gathers himself and says, “You’re so fucking cheesy.”

“I hope that’s a good thing,” he replies, smile slight.

He cups Mark’s face. “I love it. I love you. Thank you.” And then he kisses him, not caring that anyone can see. He ignores when Jaemin shouts, “PDA!” at him, and just kisses Mark. Because he can. And he wants to. Fuck Jaemin.

The smile on Mark’s face blossoms to its full form. “I’m really glad you like it.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” he asks and Mark blinks back. “Honestly, thank you.”

Mark takes his hand. “You’re welcome.”

He knows he looks ridiculously smitten, smiling the way he is, but he doesn’t care. He’s been waiting years to have Mark at his side like this and, somedays, he can’t believe that it’s real. Part of him worries that one day he’ll wake up and it’ll all have just been a dream. Those worries, he knows he shares with Mark.

“Lucas!”

The shout catches in Donghyuck’s ears and he turns around to search for Jungwoo. His eyes fall on him almost immediately, Jungwoo’s face bright and happy and surprised to the max. He holds out his hands, bouncing in his seat as Lucas lowers—oh my god—a beagle puppy into his arms.

“He did not just get my brother a dog,” Donghyuck says, in utter disbelief.

Mark makes a noise in the back of his throat, something akin to a whine, and says, “Aw, it’s so cute.”

It is cute. It’s fucking adorable. Donghyuck loves dogs. He watches videos on them daily and he kind of wishes he had a full kennel of them. Still, Jungwoo and Lucas with a puppy smells like chaos. There’s no way that little, beautiful creature, isn’t going to drive Jungwoo up the wall within the first month. Sure, he’s going to love the shit out of it. But _fuck_ is he going to complain. Donghyuck has decided he’s not going to listen. They’ve put themselves in that position.

At least it’s not a baby, he decides.

Everyone’s stopped to coo over the wiggling creature as if it’s somehow bewitched every single person in the room. Even Ten, who’s more of a cat person. Jeno, of course, is over there in ten seconds flat, fawning over the puppy as if it’s the only precious thing on Earth.

Donghyuck wants to go over, too, but he’s one hundred percent sure that he’s going to have way more time with it than anyone else in the room, other than Jungwoo and Lucas themselves. Especially because he still lives with them. Well, for now. At least until they officially tie the knot and then Donghyuck and Mark will explore the option of moving in together.

“This is Bella,” Lucas announces, almost to the whole room because there’s no way he doesn’t notice that he holds everyone’s attention at this moment. “Figured she was the perfect wedding gift.”

Doyoung chokes on his drink. “Wedding? What wedding?”

“Oh.” Lucas looks to Jungwoo for help, who simply smiles and says, “Lucas and I are getting married.”

Johnny is the loudest, but pretty much everyone takes the chance to talk, voices piling on top of each other one by one. Donghyuck catches Taeyong’s eye across the circle and raises a brow. They’re the only ones who knew, and they’re the only ones that stay quiet through the noise.

There’s a lot of congratulations, a lot of squawks of betrayal—mostly from Johnny and Doyoung from finding out that Jungwoo has been keeping this secret for so, _so_ long—and just many more things that Donghyuck can’t quite distinguish. The only thing that matters is that Jungwoo looks so completely happy, holding his puppy, and showing off his fiancé.

Donghyuck’s happy for him. Lucas and Jungwoo have been together for years, since high school, and they’ve always held strong. Marriage doesn’t seem all that strange when he thinks about it. It’s inevitable.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Mark asks him and Donghyuck nods. “Well, good for them. They deserve it.”

“They really do. Can’t image who else deserves it as much as they do.”

Before he knows it, Jungwoo is standing, stepping through the crowd, and walking over. He places Bella in Donghyuck’s lap and his whole body relaxes. There’s a whole bundle of cuteness crawling across his legs. He doesn’t think he could ever dislike that.

“Hello,” he coos, his voice pitched a little higher than normal. “Aren’t you the cutest thing ever.”

Bella sticks her nose in his face and wags her tail. Okay, _yep_ , he can die happy now.

“Hey, Duckie,” Jungwoo says, gaining his attention. “I haven’t asked because we hadn’t really decided on the date or anything like that, but we did this morning and I wanted to know if you’d be my Best Man? At the wedding, I mean.”

“Really?” Donghyuck hugs Bella close, a little uncertain. “Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent,” is the reply. Firm and final and matched with a smile.

Donghyuck returns it, full force. “I’d love to.”

Sometimes, he wonders, how he got so lucky. Then, he thinks he shouldn’t question it. Not when he should just enjoy it. At least, that’s what his therapist says.

*

By the time the sun is down, the party has become a lot more docile. People have found their homes in certain areas of the room, chatting quietly and letting the music play. Jaemin’s adopted Sungchan and Shotaro to their table. Renjun and Yeri fall into a conversation, comfortable and soft. More than enough times, Chenle’s pulled Jisung onto the floor for a dance, but now they’ve crashed back at the table, poking away at some more desert. Even Jeno’s found a nice spot on the floor to curl up with Bella, who’s fallen fast asleep, ears twitching at every little noise.

Donghyuck’s not sure how much longer they’ll all stay, but he doesn’t worry about it too much. They don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow, allowing them to stay up for as long as they want with no consequences.

Still, he finds himself growing restless in his chair, Mark’s gift—still on his person—growing heavy. He thinks that if he doesn’t give it to Mark soon, he may not give it at all. And he really can’t have a cane be Mark’s only gift, especially since it was just supposed to be a laugh.

Then again, he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t hate Mark actually using it. If he really wanted to.

In the end, he decides to go for a walk, to slip out the French doors and onto the balcony. The cool air hits him immediately. Winter is the time he’s always been happy with his powers. No needless bundling for him. He’s perfectly safe to wander around in jeans and a t-shirt without any issue at all. Or, well, a long sleeve shirt. His powers aren’t as hot as they were before.

He rests his elbows on the railing and stares out at the city. The lights are bright, rivaling the stars spotting the night sky. He thinks this is a good view and Chenle has, once again, thought of everything.

The door clicks, footsteps following, and Donghyuck doesn’t need to look to know Mark’s there. Right beside him. Out of his peripheral, Mark mirrors his posture against the railing.

He thinks back to the moments that weren’t so pretty between them, when both of them were fighting for each other while losing one another at the same time. Mark, being the one to try and keep their friendship together while trying to keep them apart, while Donghyuck had been so desperate to keep them together, but at arm’s length. It was a fucking mess and he hates that they spent so much time dancing around each other and never really talking.

Toxic, is the word that comes to mind. Their miscommunication rivaled their zero communication, and it never helped them. Always ruining, wrecking, destroying. They did that. To each other. To try and keep each other.

There’s no way to explain how fucking happy he is that they don’t have to do that anymore. They can talk and talk and the honesty is there. The communication is there. There’s no reason to hold back, to hide, to destroy, because they have each other, exactly where they need to be.

As a kid, he didn’t think he’d ever have that. He remembers seeing Mark for the first time, while in a tree, and just thinking, ‘He’s something’. At the time, he didn’t think what that something was, but now he knows. Mark’s something special. _His_ something special.

Not a day goes by that he doesn’t regret accidentally getting sidetracked and missing a branch and falling right on top of Mark. He almost doesn’t even regret breaking Mark’s nose because, if he hadn’t, they wouldn’t have gone to get Jungwoo, wouldn’t have gone to the hospital, and Donghyuck, probably, would have never given his name.

Maybe, they would have met in school, but then maybe Mark wouldn’t have felt compelled to talk to him, wouldn’t have known him enough to want to try. Donghyuck doesn’t like thinking about what ifs, but sometimes they show up and he can’t stop himself.

Luckily, he doesn’t need to worry about it. Right here, right now, he has Mark. Just as he’s always wanted him. With him. His partner-in-crime. His soulmate.

Fuck, he really is starting to sound like Mark.

“You’re thinking very hard,” Mark says, breaking Donghyuck from his thoughts. “What’s on your mind?”

“You,” he replies.

Mark glances at him. “Oh?”

Nodding, he grips the railing and leans back. “About how far we’ve come. How we ended up here.”

“Quite a journey,” he agrees.

“Really is, isn’t it? I mean, think about it,” Donghyuck says, meeting his gaze. “We went from complete strangers, to friends, to people who didn’t know what the fuck we were doing, to this. I mean, there were a few more steps in between, but that’s the major break down.”

“I have to say, I like this step a lot better than all the rest.”

Donghyuck coughs a laugh and drags his eyes over the sky. “I do, too. I don’t know where I’d be without you, you know? Probably just some sad kid with no future and no friends with a whole lot of anger and self-pity. But the thing is, you’re here and you made such a big difference in my life that I don’t think I can ever explain to you how much you mean to me.”

“Hyuck—”

“No, let me finish.” He takes a deep breath, lets go of the railing, and turns to face Mark head on. It doesn’t matter if his heart is pounding. If he’s going to do this, he’s going to do it now. “You mean everything to me. I mean, you’re my best friend, first and foremost, but you’re also someone I adore and love, and someone I get to call mine. And I know that’s cheesy as fuck, but I don’t know how else to say it. We’ve been through so much. Too many ups and downs than are probably healthy.”

“Tell me about it,” Mark says and Donghyuck smiles.

“I got a taste of what it was like without you,” he continues, “one too many times. The first time, when you went to high school. The second when you started your internship, and then again when you started dating Mina. Every time it was like a hole got punched in my heart, and I knew I couldn’t blame you because I did it to myself. If I had just admitted my feelings before, maybe, we would have been fine, but I was so scared to hurt you that I didn’t think I deserved you. I still don’t think I do.”

Mark opens his mouth to retort, but Donghyuck cuts him off, taking his hands and moving closer. “No, listen. I need to get this out before I lose my nerve.” He looks down at their hands. “I found out what it was like to be alone when I was in that coma. I thought I was doing something good and I could have ruined this, _us_ , if I didn’t come back. It wasn’t until that very last moment that I realized that,” he meets Mark’s eyes, “I don’t ever want to be without you again, Minhyung Lee.”

“What are you saying?” Mark’s tone is quiet, a whisper on the wind.

Donghyuck bites his lip. “I want to be with you. Always. No matter what. We’ve already been through so much and I don’t think there’s anything else that could remotely be worse than what we’ve already gone through.”

“I wouldn’t tempt fate.” The corners of his lips twitch. “Just in case.”

“Right, sorry. True. Point still stands, though. I want you in my life, Mark. Every step of the way. Until you’re old and actually do need a cane.”

Mark scoffs. “You really can’t keep to a mood, can you?”

“Hey, I’m trying here. I honestly don’t know how you do it.” He ruffles his hair, one hand still locked on Mark’s.

There’s a beat, a moment of silence. Then, Mark asks, “Did you get me a ring?”

Donghyuck’s eyes snap up, cheeks heating so fast that his blood rushes to his ears. “Wh—what?”

“You didn’t think that far, did you?” Mark teases, eyes sparkling something fierce.

“Actually…” He digs into his pocket. Between them, he holds up a silver band. Simple, but pretty. Something that reminds Donghyuck of the sun pendant that now hangs around his neck.

Mark looks at it, then at Donghyuck, mouth gaping. For a moment, Donghyuck worries. Maybe this wasn’t the way to go about it. It felt right at the time. Walking down Main Street, searching for the perfect gift, only to catch sight of the ring in a window and just instantly knowing.

Still, it’s early, he thinks. It’s not like he wants to get married immediately. They don’t need to rush to the altar. He just wants a promise. Something sacred between the two of them that proves something, just a little more physical.

“Wait, you’re serious?” Mark manages to ask.

“Yes?” The lift of the word is nothing but tentative.

Taking a step closer, Mark eyes the ring. Slowly, he takes it between his fingers and twists it. It shines in the lights of the building, in the city around them, from the moon above. It’s twinkles, silver and smooth. Mark studies it as if he can’t quite believe it’s real, as if he still can’t figure out if Donghyuck is being serious in the way he thinks Donghyuck is being serious.

Then, he slips it on his finger. When he flips his hand to look at it, Donghyuck’s heart flips with it. It looks like an engagement ring without a diamond. It looks like a promise.

His voice nearly cracks as he says, “I think I’m supposed to put it on you.”

“I don’t care,” Mark says, taking Donghyuck’s face in his hands. The ring is cold against his cheek. “I don’t care. I love you, Donghyuck Lee. I don’t want to ever be without you, either.”

“So, um, we’re okay?”

Mark chuckles, low and breathy. “We’re fucking perfect.”

His lips slot with Donghyuck’s in a way that makes Donghyuck sigh and fall into him, like a paperclip to a magnet, like giving into attraction and gravity and Mark. Just Mark. He kisses back, trying to say all the things he doesn’t know how to say. To show him how much he loves him, from the depths of his soul, from the bottom of his heart. He doesn’t know how else to show it, so he tugs Mark close and kisses him, instead.

“What did I say about PDA?”

Donghyuck pulls back, ready to fight. Jaemin and Jeno stand at the door, the music from the hall floating over the threshold. Jaemin seems quite pleased with himself. He finally gets the revenge he’s been craving for years of Donghyuck shouting ‘PDA’ at him and Jeno.

“It wasn’t public until you showed up,” Donghyuck clips back.

Raising a brow, Jaemin says, “So you don’t care that everyone can see you through these windows?”

“The only one looking is you.”

“Touché. I just like messing with you.” Then, his eyes snap to Mark’s hand. “Oh, my god. You did it. You gave it to him.”

“Gave Mark what?” asks Jeno.

Jaemin’s grin spreads like the Cheshire Cat’s. “A ring.”

“Wait, what?” Jeno straightens, glancing between Donghyuck and Mark. “Wait, did you just propose? Did you just say yes? Are you guys getting married?”

“Whoa, calm down there, Jen,” Mark says, laughing slightly. He holds out his hand—ring glinting—just to try and ease Jeno’s nerves. Or excitement. Or both. It’s hard to tell because Donghyuck just keeps looking at that silver band on Mark’s finger and thinking how nice it looks.

“Donghyuck?” Jeno calls.

Snapping out of his daze, he says, “Hm? Oh, um, yes? Kind of? More like a promise ring, I guess. I don’t know. I suppose so? I guess we’re…engaged?”

“You guess? You suppose?” Mark teases and Donghyuck pouts. “You’re cute. I love you.”

There’s a glint in Mark’s eyes that’s dark and heady. The fire inside him pounces at his chest, hovering just below the surface of his skin. Suddenly, he’s burning up. And in the best kind of way. Mark must feel the change because he can barely hold back a smirk, fingers squeezing at Donghyuck’s hand.

“You’re almost as bad as me and Jeno,” comments Jaemin.

“You know what?” Donghyuck says, turning to his friends. “I think we’re done for the night. I think, Mark and I are going to leave.”

“Are you now?”

Donghyuck gives a firm nod, pulling Mark toward the door so they can slip between Jaemin and Jeno into the hall. “Yep. We are. We’re going to just go and, um, we’re going to see you later. Yeah.”

The whole way to the door, Mark is smiling. But before they can escape, he stops dead. “Wait, wait, hold on!”

He lets go of Donghyuck’s hand and races over to their table. Donghyuck nervously flits around the room, hoping Jaemin won’t say anything about the ring or that no one will try and stop them because, right now, he just wants to be with Mark.

Taeyong spots him from across the room and winks. Fucking hell, he’s going to have to deal with that at some point. No way is Taeyong going to let him get away with this without some kind of serious conversation.

“Okay,” Mark says, bag in hand. It’s full of their gifts. One box is tucked under his arm. Donghyuck raises a brow at him and Mark smirks. “Never know when we might need it, right?”

“Oh, of course,” he replies with a nod.

Mark snatches his hand and yanks him from the room, laughing. For once in his life, everything fits together like the pieces of a puzzle, pieces perfect and undisturbed, creating something precious and perfect and happy. Something he never thought he’d ever have. And he wouldn’t change that for the world.

Especially, if he gets to keep Mark’s hand in his for as long as he likes.

Preferably forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come talk to me on [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/DiamantNoir)  
> (If by some off chance, the link doesn't work, here's the link without looking all pretty haha: https://curiouscat.me/DiamantNoir )


	5. Author's Note

Hey, everybody!  
  
Sorry...this isn't an actual chapter! But I figured I would just put this here as a final hurrah! Feel free to just, like, ignore this if you'd like. (My Twitter handle is in here, though, so if you want that...)  
  
So, um, anyway....hi *waves*  
  
First off, I know I've said this before, but THANK YOU!!! I honestly can't say it enough. For those of you who have been here since the beginning, I just can't get over the fact that you liked this series enough to stay! And to all my new readers: Welcome! Thank you for checking this series/story! I hope you enjoyed the journey!

For nearly seven months, I've been working on this series and it feels so weird for it to be over. I'm sure you're all in the same boat as me. It started off as just a fun Nanowrimo project and then Covid hit and I was out of a job for months. Then, when I came back to work, I still wanted to finish this series because everyone was just so sweet about it. Plus, I needed to get to Markhyuck haha They're a good motivator, too. 

I don't know how you stumbled across my little project, or what made you stay, but all I can say is _thank_ _you_. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I've been planning on doing an author's note for a while, but I'm still struggling on what to say. If anyone has questions about the series or anything, just leave me a comment, or you can find me on my CuriousCat (It's linked at the end of all my chapters/stories), or (as some people have been wanting me to do) you can DM/tweet me on Twitter (@dooly_noted). I don't do anything on twitter very often. Like, I don't post. But I do scroll around and like things and reblog...Actually, I think the last time I reblogged something was sometime in September...Anyway, I'll answer tweets/DMs if you send them to me because I do still scroll through it every day :) 

Actually, speaking of Twitter, I did see a comment of someone being upset about the final chapter of this story. For those of you who didn't check the tags or the rating, I apologize for not being clear about the fact that sex would indeed be talked about and eluded to. I should have maybe put that in the author's note before the chapter. I never really considered this an 18+ story, just because I don't write smut. Like, at all. That's not my thing and that's what I consider to be 18+, not a make out scene, but the tags and the ratings are there, just in case. Just you know...they _are_ there, I promise! haha 

I also got asked about doing a drabbles story in the comments. I have definitely thought about it. It would have stories that never made it into the final drafts. Including, but not limited to, Jeno with the bear cub or how Jaehyun proposed, etc. Of course, it wouldn't come out for a while. I have a lot on my plate at the moment, but the option is there and if people are really super interested, I can try to squeeze it in. We'll see! I've started To Catch A Pitch and I have Nanowrimo to think about as well...So many things! haha  
  
Anyway, this is it. It's over. I still can't believe it.   
  
Thank you everyone for your kudos, support, comments, and just overall love for this series.   
  
Please be safe out there and stay healthy!   
  
Bye for now,  
  
Noir xoxo <3

**Author's Note:**

> Taeil – Intangibiliy – Ability to pass through physical matter  
> Johnny - Enhanced strength  
> Taeyong - Telepathy - Ability to read minds  
> Yuta – Materialization – Ability to create objects from nothing  
> Kun - Healing - Ability to heal most--if not all--injuries  
> Doyoung - Mesmerism - Ability to mesmerize people into doing what he says  
> Ten – Necromancy – Ability to see and communicate with the dead  
> Jaehyun – Empathy – Ability to read emotions  
> Sicheng – Illusions – Ability to alter or deceive the perception of reality  
> Jungwoo - Hydrokinesis - Ability to control water  
> Lucas - Teleportation - Ability to travel by folding space  
> Mark - Dream Jumping - Ability to jump into others' dreams  
> Dejun - Invisibility - Ability to become invisible to the naked eye/as well as giving him the ability to see  
> Hendery - Photokinesis - Ability to control light  
> Renjun - Omnilingualism - Ability to learn, speak, and understand all languages  
> Jeno - Zoolingualism - Ability to speak to and understand animals  
> Donghyuck - Pyrokinesis - Ability to control fire  
> Jaemin - Chlorokinesis - Ability to control plants/nature  
> YangYang - Enhanced Speed  
> Shotaro - Appearance Manipulation - Ability to make things disappear and reappear  
> Sungchan - Limb Extension - Ability to stretch body parts to unnatural lengths  
> Chenle – Sonokinesis – Ability to control sound  
> Jisung - Nullification - Ability to cancel out another person's ability
> 
> Series (Publication Order):  
> I Want You More Than I Want Superpowers  
> Live Young, Die Free  
> The Way You Want Me  
> Silhouettes Dancing  
> You Found Me  
> Anything but Ordinary  
> Dreams of a Fire Starter
> 
> Series (Chronological Order):  
> Live Young, Die Free  
> The Way You Want Me  
> I Want You More Than I Want Superpowers  
> You Found Me  
> Silhouettes Dancing  
> Anything but Ordinary  
> Dreams of a Fire Starter


End file.
